Which candidates are strongest on key 2016 issues?

Immigration, foreign policy, economy at forefront of presidential race


This is a rush transcript from "The Five," September 7, 2015. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO- HOST: Hello, everyone. Happy Labor Day. I'm Kimberly Guilfoyle along with Geraldo Rivera, Eric Bolling, Dana Perino, and Greg Gutfeld. It's 12 o'clock in New York City and this is "The Five."

Welcome to our Labor Day special. We hope you had a great holiday weekend, and we've got a packed show for you tonight.

We begin with two big issues on America's minds this election season -- immigration and foreign policy. Which candidates have the strongest platforms? Which issue will be the most important to voters when they head to the polls? First up, immigration and the candidate who is certainly fired up to debate over it.


DONALD TRUMP, R-PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I will build the greatest wall that you've ever seen. I want it to be so beautiful because maybe someday they're going to call it the Trump wall. Maybe. So, I have to make sure it's beautiful, right? So, I'll use the word anchor baby. Excuse me. I'll use the word anchor baby

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: They have to go. What if they have no place to go?

TRUMP: We will work with them. They have to go.

It's about laws. It's about borders. If we don't have a border, we don't have a country.


GUILFOYLE: Certainly, the debate has been fired up on immigration. And this is the man Donald Trump that has led the charge in it and definitely some varying viewpoints around this table. And I'm sure with those of you at home as well.

Geraldo, I'll begin with you.

GERALDO RIVERA, CO-HOST: I think Donald Trump is in some ways brewing up a recipe for the absolute institutional destruction of the Republican Party. I think that when you look at all of the voter turnout demographically, historically, and project it forward going in America's future in this century and beyond, there is no doubt that the candidate who wins the White House has to appeal to a certain percentage of the Latino voters.

Remember, Latinos are just like everybody else. There are conservatives. There are moderates. There are liberals. There's a group there that Jeb Bush steeply sees as the future of the Republican Party. They are republicans in the Ronald Reagan's word, in modern words. They may not know it yet but they are but not with Trump's wary

GUILFOYLE: All right. So, you don't find it helpful is my sum up of your situation.

RIVERA: Yes. Thank you very much.


ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: So, on Trump's plan alone solely is what we're doing first? Look, I'm on record to saying I think that you in fact, could build a wall. And it's a feasible proposition. I think there are ways to make Mexico pay for it.

Donald Trump didn't originally have the ways to make them pay for it. He has since developed some ways for it. I'm not sure I like all of them, some of them incorporate import fees and that would be trade restrictive. There are other ways to do it.

In my opinion, I think you could pay a fair market price for a barrel of oil and cut 50 cents a barrel or a dollar barrel off what you're going to pay Mexico and use that money and put it towards to the building a wall. If they don't like it, too bad we're go buy the oil.

So, more else, a way, not his way, a way. As far as deportation, I would send to agree with where he is. If you're here illegally, you should get in the back of the line, not the front of the line. And what I think he is missing in this proposal and something that maybe Geraldo and I may agree on, is that we need to increase legal immigration.

We do about 990,000 legal immigrants the last year reportable. I think we can double that or triple legal immigration by getting a lot of people who are here illegally back on the legal roll and paying taxes. So, I do, yes. Kimberly, I like his immigration plan.

GUILFOYLE: OK. So, and you've some ideas on your own on it. OK. But the thought process here is this needs to be a party that is inclusive, that embraces all different minority communities, to show that this is platform.

We have a lot to offer in terms of, yes, traditional values, good schools, safe neighborhoods, and immigration has to be a piece that includes all of that. What are your thoughts on that?

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Well, it's not a new issue for the Republican Party or for the democrats. I mean, this has been for the last two major presidential elections a big issue.

And we go all the way back to 2006 through 2007 to the big immigration fight on Capitol Hill that President Bush led and ultimately it wasn't successful in getting. But, why?

One of the reasons is because the democrats decided they needed that issue as waddle issue for 2008 in that campaign and they were smart about it.

If you look at the numbers of -- I can point to Geraldo on the demographics.

RIVERA: That's rude. Don't point.

PERINO: I point to his point is what I was trying to say because I think it's a good one. Whoever crafts a message to appeal to Hispanic and Latino voters, you're not going to win all of them as the Republican Party. But democrats shouldn't be allowed to win all of them.

But whoever crafts a message that appeals to them to try to vote with them because they think their policies are better that's who will win the future for elections to come. You cannot carve out the Latino vote and think that it doesn't matter for your election prospects if you're democrats or republicans.

Republicans have a lot of work to do, but it's not a new issue for them. It's actually very complex. I mean, you get down to that nub of what do you do with the people who are already here, that's the hard question, that's where leadership comes in.

GUILFOYLE: Absolutely. And, my, God, what a great opportunity for the party to gain people to be involved not only to run for office but to cast out...


PERINO: And it can't be done. If you look at for example...


PERINO: Ed Gillespie in Virginia senator race this past time, he actually won I think 50 percent of Hispanic voters in Virginia. You actually can do it. You go and you talk to them. You are persuasive, and they will vote for you.

GUILFOYLE: Great one, the great candidate too. And we should have seen a little bit of the Republican Party and the finances getting behind him because he could have won that election. Lesson learned. Greg.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Everybody here is right.


GUTFELD: I think staff I'd really fasten it.

GUILFOYLE: Happy Labor Day.

GUTFELD: But Dana is correct. This is not new.

BOLLING: It's not new.

GUTFELD: We've been discussing this for years. Eric is right that it's an important issue for everybody to have an orderly border, a sense of order and not some kind of chaos. Geraldo is right that we may have alienated a large base.

So, what has happened? What is different is that the way I look at it I see the introduction of talk radio and cable TV talking points into political conversation about immigration. That basically what Donald Trump has done is reflected what we say on our shows, but he's saying it now as a politician.

We used to be the ones that say can't they be stronger and say these things. So, then he says these things that we have been at saying for a while. We've all said something along these lines. And so, we see it and we go like, wow, I'm not used to this because we're not used to seeing it from a politician. my worry and I'm...


GUILFOYLE: So, what's the problem?

GUTFELD: My problem is what Geraldo says is that when you talk about things like immigration especially in these times of divisiveness, you need a persuasive voice that can unify. That when you talk about immigration, it's an inclusive conversation about an orderly system. And that rejects along...

RIVERA: Is that Jeb bush?

GUTFELD: I think Jeb Bush is -- I'm probably closer to him than I am to Trump on immigration issues.

BOLLING: Me too.

GUTFELD: Meaning that I believe that the greatness of immigration of more people in the United States far outweighs the detriment of a closed system. This country gets better by the people that come here and work hard, and 99 percent of these people come here to work hard for opportunity. But I go back to the fact...


PERINO: I go back.

GUILFOYLE: There's is no system that is certain for them to follow in order to get here unless you do what suggest which is increase illegal -- increase legal immigration.

BOLLING: Think about that.

GUTFELD: I do agree with Eric about that.

BOLLING: If you add two million per year, it's about a million out here, you had two million a year. Feasibly within four or five years, you've made everyone who is here illegally legal. They can pay taxes.

Interestingly though, this could -- I was reading it, I'm not sure it's accurate, but Univision did do a poll on Hispanics, and they had Donald Trump leading among Hispanics.

RIVERA: Not the polls are...

GUTFELD: Hispanic republicans?

BOLLING: I think Hispanic republicans.

RIVERA: Possibly.

GUILFOYLE: Obviously, it is said that, you know, the top issue that everybody's talking about in 2016, but we also have more, Geraldo, because we have foreign policy to discuss. And one of the crucial issues in 2016 is the fight against ISIS. Which candidate has the strongest plan to defeat the terror network? Here are some of the GOP contenders.


JEB BUSH, R-PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: A winning strategy against the Islamic state or against any threat to ourselves and our friends depends ultimately on the military strength that underwrites American influence.

CARLY FIORINA, R-PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: We really are sitting by when we could be leading a coalition of Arab allies to defeat ISIS.

GOV. SCOTT WALKER, R-WIS., PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: The FBI is investigating ISIS in all 50 states. We need to restore counterterrorism and surveillance programs, invest heavily into cyber tools and improve intelligence and law enforcement cooperation to catch terrorists before they strike.


GUILFOYLE: So, one of the other key issue is the fight against terror, the fight against ISIS. How it should be handled. A very different opinions about whether or not we should boots on the ground.

All people agree the issue of national security is of paramount importance. Geraldo, you have had a lot of time. Where you have embeded overseas. You've been with the troops. You've been with our military to really see firsthand the fight against terror.

RIVEA: I think the most of the candidates have had no not had the time that I have had over there. If they did they would know that what is going on there is essentially a religious war.

The Sunnis are fighting the Shiites are fighting the Kurds. Three different aspects of Islam but just we had the 100 years' war Protestants against Catholic and the same way we have more people killed in the name of religion than any other cause.

We have to recognize that all of the Gulf States and the Saudi Arabia foreign policy that all of these people are essentially only interested in fighting the other religion. We have to not put ourselves between those forces. We cannot alter those forces.

And we also have to stop meddling when it comes to a strong man. The only time it seems to me that Arabs can get along is when you have a strong man who says the country counts more than your religion.

People liked Saddam Hussein. People liked Marimar Gaddafi. People liked these other dictators more or less I won't say benevolent but...

GUTFELD: Not quite.

RIVERA: ... not as vicious as.

BOLLING: They gas people.

RIVERA: They gas them in the context of the religious war. We have to stop nation building. George W.B. Bush was against it and then started doing exactly what he preaches against.

We have to recognize that they have been fighting each other for a thousand. They'll fight each other for another.

GUILFOYLE: All right. But first around the table just name your candidates do you think disposes and supports to your viewpoint. I mean.

RIVERA: Well, I have to, you know, it's every one of them says I want a strong military. Everybody says that. No, I'm going to say I want a weak military.

GUILFOYLE: No, but there are people who believe in defense and military cuts and that's not something that I think as Greg said.


RIVERA: I think that to -- I mean, the only reason I am interested in ISIS is that ISIS is inspiring acts of violence here and ISIS killed our people and we have to revenge or avenge those deaths.

GUILFOYLE: All right. Eric, you've had an evolving position on this.

BOLLING: So, -- no, I haven't.


GUILFOYLE: Well, I think you realized...

BOLING: We need to go ahead and carpet bomb ISIS.

GUILFOYLE: This is way of saying.

BOLLING: No, no. I'm fairly consistent that we need to just step up the air campaign against ISIS. I don't believe in American boots on the ground. I think there should be an Arab coalition of boots on the ground doing the dirty work finding out where they are.

RIVERA: They won't.

BOLLING: They will certainly -- OK. And then certainly arming the Kurds, giving the Kurds everything they need because they are ones strong force. Of course, the best fighters in the region by far better than our own Iraqi trained fighters.

I think you give them what they need and let them go ahead and do it. So, I don't know who is all 17 positions and where they stand on them, but whoever decides to really go aggressively and wipe out ISIS once and for all. From an air campaign U.S. and you want to finance other people's boots on the ground, knock yourself out, just not Americans. That where I stand.

GUILFOYLE: But every intelligence officer says we also actually need strategic boots on the ground and information. Because you can't carpet bombs now. ISIS is not...


BOLLING: As I said, I think if you do it with Arab boots on the ground, it would just more a palpable to me personally.

RIVERA: Why not redraw these boundaries and make their religious states out of them? You know, Lawrence of Arabia made Iraq, you know, a piece of paper and a magic marker.

BOLLING: It's not that horrible of an idea. You mean, you're telling about the three states...


RIVERA: Yes. The Joe Biden three-state solution.

GUILFOYLE: All right. So, Dana, the problem is to and the idea is nice to be able to say, OK, we're going to carpet bomb. And yes, we should step up the air campaign. But as you see we're even aware right now as we sit here specific military training camps, ISIS training camps that we're not hitting because of the issue of collateral damage.

So, it has to be very strategic in terms of the information we're getting real-time intelligence to make targeted strikes that are going to put big dents in their game.

PERINO: I agree. But I do think that it's a little too early to know what specific plans any of these candidates would put forward. Because they've spent the summer introducing themselves to republican voters or the -- America at large, but they got to win the republican primary at first.

So, I think that it's a little bit too early. What you're looking for now I think in the candidate is what is your governing philosophy, what is your approach, how do you make decisions, what kind of people would you listen to in order to make decisions that are important for the future.

Like, do you believe that people have the ability to self-govern? Do you -- nation building is an interesting one. That, yes, I mean, 2001, do you know that Al neither Al Gore nor George W. Bush in any of the debates in the campaign were ever asked about Al Qaeda? Not once.

And in September 11, that absolutely change the trajectory of the world and the history. So, I think that you have to understand how do somebody make decisions, why is their philosophy, how do they approach life and government so that you can better understand how they would manage specific plans in the future.

GUILFOYLE: All right. So, there's, again, another opportunity there for a candidate to stand out with some kind of specifics that people can relate to and I think they're good idea for the states did in a country. Greg?

GUTFELD: Yes. well, if you take -- if you look at any of these issues, whether you're looking at foreign policy or its Iran or Russia or if you look at immigration, you look at climate change, unemployment, economic, inequality, all those things get wiped off the front page and end up on page D34 below the hearing aid ad when there's a terror attack in the United States.

All it takes is one guy to be right once and the whole world changes. I think that where these candidates are really, really missing to vote is the democratization of violence.

The fact that now you don't have to be a state to commit mass acts of genocide or terror against people. Because as you have better technology and you have a, you know, stronger will in terms of ISIS and you combine those two together, you have a world in which a small group, a very small group of people, can conduct mass terror and kill thousands, hundreds of thousands, and perhaps in the future millions through chemical use or biomedical use.

We -- I don't think we take that seriously enough. And I don't think and it's not just about terror there. It's a fact that boundaries don't exist anymore. Anybody can do this.

GUILFOYLE: Yes. All right.

GUTFELD: Isn't that positive? I wanted an upbeat message.

RIVERA: It was true. I agree with you.

GUILFOYLE: And with much more to come on The Five Labor Day special.

Up next, we're going to answer some questions you send in to us on Facebook on the presidential race and more. Don't go away.


GUTFELD: Hey. We get a lot of questions each week on our Facebook page. It's very exciting. Many are 2016 related or about politics in general. We're going to answer some right now.

I'm going to start with Dana from Theresa B.


GUTFELD: We'll go around the table here. "What one quality would you choose in your choice for president?"

PERINO: Well, I think presidential elections I've said this before, they're about character. And so, you want somebody in office who is going to do the right thing even when nobody is looking and that they don't have to take a poll to find out what they should do.

GUTFELD: Nice one. Eric?

BOLLING: So, I'm going to go a little different from that.

GUTFELD: Lack of character?

BOLLING: No. I would say an outsider. Now, before you jump and say, oh, he must mean Trump, I don't mean just Trump. I mean, I think what Donald Trump has done...


GUILFOYLE: No. I think he might mean rand Paul.

BOLLING: .. he has opened the eyes of a lot of American voters who say I'm tired of business issues as usual. In D.C. you have Ben Carson, Donald Trump, Carly Fiorina, even Ted Cruz being the guy, and Rand to a certain extent of the guys and gals who say, let's try something different, we've done this before.

GUTFELD: My favorite outsider, Matt Dillon.

GUILFOYLE: I loved him in that.

RIVERA: We need a president whose an optimist again. And to borrow the famous words of Dana's pf course, we do need a uniter (ph), not a divider.

I think that the country is clothed in a thunder now, if I may on this Labor Day.


RIVERA: And I think that we need somebody to bring us back together to remind us we are one people.

GUTFELD: That was nice, Kimberly. Positive.

GUILFOYLE: Yes. Absolutely. Mine would involve two words, which I can't say. So, I'll say like but ticker but it did that more aggressive way. But I will say someone who is courageous. I want somebody who is going to get in there and not be worried about every single poll.

But just say, you know what, I'm going to do what it takes to make this country strong, proud, where people have jobs, where we're not sitting and bending over all the time and not cowering in front of our, you know, opponent foreign leaders people who would do us harm. That's what I'm really looking for, strength, strength in the White House, and I've seen it before.

GUTFELD: Although I agree with everybody I think there should be an aspirational quality. I want boring. I want boring.

GUILFOYLE: I love boring.

GUTFELD: I want somebody who is competent, Calvin Coolidge, and his boringness. So, I just know that they're going to get the work done and I don't have to hear it -- I hear it. I see them everything is just happening. All right. Next question.

PERINO: I think I know who you're talking about then.

GUTFELD: It could be Scott Walker or.

BOLLING: Scott Walker is good.

GUTFELD: I like Ben Carson.

PERINO: It's Ben Carson. I told you.

GUILFOYLE: Yes we have talkie.

GUTFELD: Dana, not that boring.


GUILFOYLE: He means in a very deliberative way.


GUILFOYLE: He is methodical and consistent and thoughtful.

RIVERA: I want my brain surgeon to be boring. I don't want flamboyant.

GUTFELD: Exactly. All right. From Dana L, "If you were president, what would be your first act on day one?" We'll go this way. Kimberly?

GUILFOYLE: I thought you said Dana.

GUTFELD: No, It's from Dana.

GUILFOYLE: OK. What would be my first act?


GUILFOYLE: I would probably focus first on foreign policy and national security and see what I could do to strengthen the military. Put some more money back into that budget, meet with all the heads of the different organizations to make sure that we're really doing what we needed to do. I think that would have been to be done first.

GUTFELD: Geraldo?

RIVERA: I think in following up my previous comments about uniting rather than dividing I would declare a state of emergency in urban America. I think the division between black and white and Latino some place in the middle is exacerbated to a critical extent, and you see a generation of minority youngsters being wasted.

GUTFELD: That's an excellent.

GUILFOYLE: That's part of his uniter (ph).

GUTFELD: Very good, very good. Yes.

BOLING: I would do the first thing in office would be I would pull that Iran nuclear deal right off the back. I think it's the most dangerous, the most pressing danger to America.

The future of an Iranian regime with a bomb. So, I would definitely punch back on that and go very, very aggressive with them as far as inspecting what they have. And if they don't like it, too bad. We go in anyway.

GUTFELD: All right. Strong. OK. Dana?

PERINO: I feel a little different. I would close the door of the Oval Office and spend a little quite time in prayer. And I would ask for some guidance and strength because of the decision that are going to come their way. And then I would call up the CIA and ask them to bring me the Roswell files.


PERINO: Because I've always wanted to know.

GUILFOYLE: And you and Jasper would like cuddle up together.


PERINO: It's like let's read this and see what really happens.

GUILFOYLE: All right. Perfect.

RIVERA: My enthusiast are talking to a Martian. You'll never know.

GUTFELD: My first act is to announce a nationwide contest where any man with an actual man bun, you know like a doorknob, is eligible for $10 million if they show up at this arena that I have.

And if you show up there, you will be randomly chosen to get with $10 million. And then when they show up, thousands of drones will descend. They'll have barber sheers. And they'll just descend to them and they'll slice off all their man buns.


GUILFOYLE: I have - ever since you mention man buns...


GUTFELD: When somebody says there are too many man buns on the planet, you will notice there are too many man buns on the planet. It's gross.

RIVERA: I now see them everywhere.


RIVERA: I think of you every time I do.

PERINO: Are you going to get one?

GUTFELD: No, don't do it. All right. Really quick. If you were to run for political office, what would you choose?

PERINO: Dog releaser.

GUTFELD: I was going to be dogcatcher.

GUILFOYLE: Dog releaser.

BOLLING: Perfect.

GUTFELD: You know how they say that guy couldn't be elected dogcatcher, well, they can't say that about me. Because I did.

RIVERA: Very good. Yes.

GUTFELD: Go ahead.

BOLLING: I would be Secretary of Energy.

GUTFELD: You should shut it out immediately.

BOLLING: Yes. I would shut down. I would shut the payments too the, you know, the green gas.

GUILFOYLE: Solyndra.

BOLLING: Yes. Solyndra.

RIVERA: Are the Secretary of State particularly for Latin-American affairs.

GUTFELD: How about you, Kimberly?

GUILFOYLE: Since we've discussed it.


GUILFOYLE: Mayor of New York City.

GUTFELD: You better do it.

GUILFOYLE: Governor of New York.

GUTFELD: I will volunteer.

GUILFOYLE: President of the United States of America.

GUTFELD: I will lick the envelope to a huge king butt.

PERINO: Easy with the list.

GUTFELD: I would run, you know...

BOLLING: That was totally fluent.

GUTFELD: I would like be secretary of awesome. All things awesome.

BOLLING: Aren't sure.

GUTFELD: I'm trying.

GUILFOYLE: Let's get after de Blasio.

GUTFELD: Up next, some back to school tips from a lot of surprise, Dana Perino. Get back to school tips when there's no school. All right. Stay tuned.

PERINO: Right. That a national park.


SHANNON BREAM, FOX NEWS CORRESPONDENT: I'm Shannon Bream in Washington. Hillary Clinton continues to slide in the polls.

A new survey from Marist and NBC News has Bernie Sanders ahead of Clinton in New Hampshire, 41 to 32 percent.

In Iowa, Sanders has cut Hillary's lead from 24 points in July to just 11 now. Vice President Joe Biden is getting significant support, considering he has not announced whether he will run. Biden spoke to a Labor Day gathering of union members today in Pittsburgh.

Republican candidates John Kasich and Carly Fiorina marched today in the Milford, New Hampshire, Labor Day parade. Donald Trump continues to be the clear leader in the GOP race.

President Obama says he's signing an executive order requiring federal contractors to give workers paid sick leave. The White House says it will benefit up to 300,000 employees who may not currently get paid leave.

"Special Report" begins at 6 p.m. Eastern. But for now, we'll take you back to New York and "The Five."

PERINO: Welcome back to "The Five's" Labor Day special. A lot of people dread this time of year, like Greg, but it's always been one of my favorites. I love back to school and back to work.

I have a new column on with five tips for a successful reentry back to school and work, and I'll explain more in a moment. Let me just run through them real quickly. It is first of all make the first day of school like New Year's Day. Make some resolutions.

GUTFELD: Get wasted?

PERINO: Become a reality TV snob. Check your posture. Downplay the up- talking, and join the speech team.

GUTFELD: Oh, my God.

PERINO: I know that you love back to school.

GUILFOYLE: I love it. I hated summer. I still do. I used to love -- and then I would go to summer school, of course. I couldn't get enough.

But yes, I loved the first day of school, when I used to wear my uniform.  You know, I went to an all-girls private Catholic grade school. And then -- you know, and then I went to the high school. I would love to have my uniform, and my skirt was pressed so perfectly and my shoes, everything was. And all my supplies were perfect in the little Ziploc. All of it.

PERINO: Great memories coming back.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God, ready. I couldn't wait to get my first day of many and have perfect attendance.

PERINO: Eric, when you have a teenage son that's going into senior year?

BOLLING: Senior year.

PERINO: So how do you get him motivated to go back to school?

BOLLING: So can I give a little bit of different advice? The parental advice? Set the rules. Set the rules. Don't do it as you go. And going into the school year, here's your curfew. Here's the amount of time you should be doing your homework.

PERINO: No negotiating?

BOLLING: No. Put him -- you can negotiate, but what -- come to a decision. Come to an agreement with your kids, your kid -- kids and so they know the rules. And don't let them violate the rules. If they do something wrong, take something away. Punishment, it's the best form of teaching a kid how to live life, you know. What they learn now, they'll be using for the rest of their life.

PERINO: How do you -- for your daughter, she's 10. Right? So she probably still likes going back to school.

RIVERA: She loves it. So excited about it. It's like going to Disneyland. She can't wait, wondering who her teacher is going to be, who's going to be in her classroom, which of her girlfriends. You know, she gets everything ready meticulously already, projecting out several days ahead of time.

GUILFOYLE: That's sweet.

RIVERA: It's just really a positive event in my house. I mean, in my world, going back to school, I was disgruntled about it. By the end of my sophomore year in high school, I didn't want to go to school anymore. But I forced myself, because I knew it was the only way to get social mobility.  But to the extent a parent can, to instill in their children a feeling of optimism and hopefulness and the future and all that, I think it's critical.

PERINO: Do you agree with me, Greg, that people should consider joining the speech team?

GUTFELD: Yes, I think it's very important.

PERINO: OK. Were you on the speech team?

GUTFELD: No. I remember going back to -- I remember going back to school, because I used to wear a uniform and get everything nice laid out on the bed.

RIVERA: Little knickers?

GUTFELD: It was only two years ago. No.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, you went to Serra High School.

GUTFELD: They send me home.

Back to school. The feeling of back to school is an illusion; it's not real. You're basically on a carousel in space, floating from season to season. If you hate the fall, just sit tight; here comes spring. It's all you've got. There's no alternative. So why play into this phony game?  Huh? It's all a big lie.

BOLLING: We need a policy PAC (ph).

GUTFELD: I want to agree with your speech and debate. I think it's very important to be a good communicator. It can get you to major...

PERINO: And speaking of, debate teams are under pressure all over the country. They're being cut, because the football teams get all the money.

BOLLING: Well, the football teams support all the other teams.


PERINO: But if that were true, then they shouldn't cut the speech team.

BOLLING: Yes. All right.

GUTFELD: You know, they should have the speech team go up against the football team.

PERINO: In what? What's the competition?

BOLLING: In a pool.

GUTFELD: A little boat, yes.

BOLLING: First football league...

GUILFOYLE: I think back to school first day is very stressful for a parent. I'm, like, really worried about it next week.

GUTFELD: Especially when I'm hanging around.

PERINO: I like one of the tips, though, of becoming a reality TV snob, because you can get sucked into it. And if you just say, "Oh, I don't watch that," then, you like free up a lot of time.

GUTFELD: Well, you can say that about everything. Like, "Oh, I don't watch that." You can say that about "The Five."

PERINO: Well, but no one does. But no one does.

RIVERA: I think speech team is really a critical skill.

GUILFOYLE: Thank you, Geraldo.

PERINO: Thank you. And I think that we should start a campaign to make sure that they are supported across the country.


PERINO: All right. Next, we'll try to settle a very important question.  What's the top song of summer 2015? What was your favorite? Perhaps this one? Back in a moment.



BOLLING: Every summer has a stand-out song, one that makes you feel happy every time you hear it. We're going to go around the table and tell you our picks for the summer song of 2015.

GUILFOYLE: All right. Well, so I heard a little bit of mine in the beginning there, OK. So Taylor Swift I love. I think everybody at this table can agree.

BOLLING: Giant tell (ph).

GUILFOYLE: You know, when you think...


GUILFOYLE: ... about her compared to Miley Cyrus, it's tough. "Bad Blood" is the song that I love from her. Can't get enough of it. I think it's fantastic. A crowd-pleaser, right? I mean, even Greg likes it.

GUTFELD: I don't know. Never heard of it.

GUILFOYLE: It's a very fun song.

PERINO: ... your neighbor.

GUILFOYLE: I can't believe this. Last year -- last year, I had "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea, which was also cool.

BOLLING: Very good.

OK, Geraldo, your favorite summer song?

RIVERA: This would have been, but for Taylor Swift, the song of the year.  "See You Again," the song about Paul Walker, the guy from "Furious" series of movies who died.


RIVERA: Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth. It's just a great song. It's the - - one of those blends of hip-hop with narrative that doesn't extol violence, but rather love, compassion, longing, missing a loved one. I think it's a great song.

GUILFOYLE: Very nice. Sweet Paul Walker.

BOLLING: You cut it off. You have to listen to it for a little bit. OK, Dana, you're up.

PERINO: All right. Well, I've been a fan of Sonia Leigh for a long time.  And so she released a song in 2014 that I hadn't heard until 2015. So it became my favorite. It's called "Put It in Your Pocket." And it's really fun. Take a listen.


PERINO: She's a big talent. And I would check her out on the YouTube.

GUTFELD: You like "Melrose Place" music. It's the kind of music you used to hear on "Melrose Place."

GUILFOYLE: What do you have against "Melrose Place"?

PERINO: Well, that's a very popular show.

GUTFELD: I have nothing against "Melrose Place."

GUILFOYLE: You kind of love it.

GUTFELD: I do. I'm Mr. Cool.

GUILFOYLE: Do you love rock 'n' roll, too?

GUTFELD: I miss the pool.

PERINO: Actually, I never watched "Melrose Place."

GUTFELD: That's your problem.

GUILFOYLE: I lived at a place in Beverly Hills that was very much like that.

BOLLING: Peyton Place?

GUILFOYLE: No. For real. South Rexford in Beverly Hills.

GUTFELD: South Rexford.

RIVERA: That's near O.J. Simpson's house.


GUTFELD: Isn't everything?

BOLLING: Greg, you have a favorite?

GUTFELD: I like to stay ahead of the trends, unlike you people. So I'm always on the lookout for new bands, unlike you people. I came across this band that I think it is going to be really, really big. Let's just roll it. I love this song "Summer."


BOLLING: OK. Don't hate me for this. It's a Justin Bieber song.


BOLLING: Song of the summer. However, this song, if you listen to this song, it's got so much going on. Skrillex is a synthesizer. He mixes beats. He's fantastic on drums. And Diplo, who's a phenomenal music producer -- Geraldo, you may join me in enjoying this song. If you listen, all the sounds in this song are Bieber's voice. Listen.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God.

(MUSIC: "Where Are U Now" by Justin Bieber)

BOLLING: Actually, there are. And if you go, The New York Times did a piece where they actually deconstructed that song. It's actually kind of fascinating how they -- the new face.

RIVERA: It sounds like stoner music, though. So unlike you.

GUILFOYLE: Like a rave. Or like...

PERINO: How can you get into that?

BOLLING: One of the most popular songs in America right now.

GUILFOYLE: There's no beat even to it.

BOLLING: Yes, it does.

GUILFOYLE: You have Bieber fever.

BOLLING: All right.

RIVERA: For real?

BOLLING: Still to come, we'd like to share some of our favorite moments of the summer with you. Hope you stick around for that.

RIVERA: Oy, vey.


RIVERA: Hope you're having a great Labor Day. The problem with Labor Day is that tomorrow is Tuesday, and then you have the rest of, you know, like working.

If you've been stuck in traffic this long holiday weekend, you are not alone. Labor Day traffic expected to hit its highest level since 2008 this year, due in part to a decrease in gas prices. Triple A predicting that more than 30 million of us hit the roads this weekend to get to our destinations then back home. How do we deal with the traffic? You don't drive, do you?

GUILFOYLE: No, I do. I've got one of those licenses.

RIVERA: So what do you do?

GUILFOYLE: About five points on it.

BOLLING: You get points?

RIVERA: You drive to the Hamptons and back?

GUILFOYLE: I think it's infuriating.

BOLLING: Exciting? (ph)

GUILFOYLE: I was like, OK, OK, I'm in the white Ford Explorer. But he thought I was, like, O.J. Simpson. He wrote me for stuff that I actually had. I have a license. I have registration.

BOLLING: What did he pull you over for?

GUILFOYLE: Oh, smoking. I was like, listen.

BOLLING: Speeding?

GUILFOYLE: Like, how much more time do you want to spend with me here?  Well, it was speeding.

BOLLING: Was he coming after you?

GUILFOYLE: False allegation. It was a whole situation, OK? So then I had to just, like, leave my car for a while, a little cool-down time. But I'm back at the wheel.

RIVERA: Do you have road rage?

GUILFOYLE: Yes, I do, but I don't do anything, you know, illegal about it.

RIVERA: What's your worst experience with road rage?

BOLLING: Honestly, I drive every single...

RIVERA: NO, I want to know what's your worst road rage experience you've ever had.

BOLLING: Someone -- you're into the thing, you know, where you're yelling at him; he's yelling at you. You're cutting each other off, and then a beer can literally came out of his car.

RIVERA: Really?

BOLLING: It hit my windshield. Didn't crack the windshield, but boy, is it jarring when something hits your windshield. It throws you back.

I'm really, really, really working hard to try and kill any sort of road rage I've had. You literally have to get in the car and think, right when you start the car, this is going to take whatever time it's going to take.  I don't care if I get cut off. I don't care if that guy wants to cut in.  And you have to -- it's not easy to do, but it's a mental thing.

GUILFOYLE: Don't drive in L.A., man.

RIVERA: Out west you must drive...

PERINO: I did. I grew up driving. I had a car. I took myself back and forth to high school and then college.

RIVERA: Does that translate to an urban...

PERINO: When I lived in Washington, I drove. But I have not driven in five years now, about five years since coming up here. And I miss driving.

GUILFOYLE: I imagine you driving. Do you sit on, like, a little pillow?  And you're like, "Dee dee dee dee"?

RIVERA: People put down Hillary Clinton because she doesn't drive.

PERINO: Does she walk? No. I do. I talk the subway.

RIVERA: Is that the way you get around, mostly?

PERINO: Of course, I walk.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God. She has sensible shoes.

PERINO: Thanks, K.G.

RIVERA: So you know...

GUILFOYLE: I don't even look that far down. I can't go on her, but like, Dana does. She has nice little shoes, and she changes them for her little walk. And then she, like, walks home if it's fair weather. If it's not, she...

PERINO: I have a 45-degree threshold. Below 45, I might take the subway.

RIVERA: What about the dog? You must walk the dog.

PERINO: Of course.

GUILFOYLE: Do you not see her Instagram?

PERINO: You don't follow me on Instagram?

RIVERA: You mean the DNA on the poops of Jasper? I never thought -- that's more information than I needed.

So two dollar a buck [SIC] gasoline. Did you ever think you'd see it?

GUTFELD: I -- these statistics drive me crazy. It's like you almost hear them every year at this time. Anyway...

RIVERA: About 30 million drivers.

GUTFELD: Yes. Every time at this point. But you know what? Maybe road rage isn't caused by the behavior of the driver, but the fact that the cars these days are so unimaginative.


GUTFELD: They're just not fun to drive anymore. Every car now looks like a Norelco shaver.

PERINO: It's true.

GUTFELD: That same little thing that Santa would drive in the commercials.  That's what cars look like. It used to be when you went out in your car, it was big, and it was metal. And it didn't matter if it didn't move. If you were stuck in traffic, you were still in a big metal monster smoking a cigarette, listening to some really loud, awful music. Screaming.

RIVERA: I think road rage is really an interesting reflection of the real you. I think if you can't suppress those emotions -- and I know how you can struggle with the passion of it -- because it's disproportionate. You react to a slight that you would hardly consider in any other context.


PERINO: It's also about your safety. I mean, I think that's pure survival.

RIVERA: I think road rage is invented. I think it's about pride and space.

GUILFOYLE: I get frustrated with bad drivers that endanger everyone else.  That frustrates me.

GUTFELD: I have rage rage.

GUILFOYLE: People who should not be driving.

GUTFELD: Rage rage.

RIVERA: I just can't understand why the stock market doesn't reflect the fact that $2-a-gallon gasoline is good for most ordinary people.

BOLLING: It will.

GUTFELD: It's a tax -- it's a tax cut for most of America.

RIVERA: And it's cash in your pocket.

GUILFOYLE: That's turning into a business segment.

RIVERA: "One More Thing" is up next.



GUILFOYLE: It's time now for "One More Thing," Labor Day edition. Summer unofficially ends today, but it was a great one for all of us here on "The Five," so we'd like to share some of our favorite memories from the summer; and we're going to begin with Greg -- Greg.

GUTFELD: My favorite thing that I do in the summertime is I read. I read a book a week. Because I sit home on the weekends, and I just read. Because I don't like people. I don't like being around people. I don't like being at beaches with people who aren't wearing clothes. It makes me sick to my stomach. I like to read.

So the books I read this summer that I recommend: Shelby Steele's "Shame."  Fantastic. "The Future of Violence," an amazing book. Can't remember the title of -- the guy's name. Kimberly's book, "Making the Case." Dana's book. Meh. Kidding. "Popular Economics" by John Tamny from Fortune magazine, very good. "Juror the One (ph)" Peter Field, very good. And of course, this one, which is not out yet.

PERINO: All a ruse.

GUTFELD: I am learning -- I am learning from the best. You did this with your dog pictures last -- two weeks ago.

PERINO: Really?

GUTFELD: That's now on Amazon and elsewhere.

RIVERA: I feel like I've been entrapped.

GUTFELD: Yes. What's it called again?

RIVERA: "Entrapped" by Greg Gutfeld.

GUTFELD: "How to be Right."

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my goodness gracious. Nice cover art.

GUTFELD: But I gave service. I gave books. It's like you, you just talk about your dog.

PERINO: OK. With that permission, I will. My favorite thing about the summer was Jasper. We had a great time. We had -- this is him in the side car. He loves to go on the Harley in his little side car. He's very famous. Of course, also, he is a big proponent of swimming and jumping in the pool over and over again.

GUILFOYLE: Cute Jasper.

PERINO: Looking at a boat. I think we have him looking at a boat. That's on Long Beach Island.

RIVERA: Nice profile.

PERINO: Jasper even wrote his name in the sand.

GUTFELD: I don't believe that.

PERINO: There's one picture of me from the entire summer on my phone, and that was it. And this is terrible.

GUILFOYLE: It doesn't even look like you.

RIVERA: You're prettier.

PERINO: I know.

GUTFELD: More dog pictures.

GUILFOYLE: Shot it up your nose or something.

OK. Well, mine is next. I had a great summer with Ronan and everything in the Hamptons. Did a lot of fun stuff. And he loves the water and surfing.  So it's him in the waves. Got a lot of waves. See how happy he is? He doesn't do that when we're going back to school next week. Trust me.

So he had a lot of fun. He did not want to come back to the city. That's me and Ro-Diggity golfing. Had a great time. And also eating, we love to do that at Baba Bans, a.k.a. Baba Clams.

GUTFELD: I've been there.

GUILFOYLE: I know. I was just there for dinner, too. Super fun and out on the boat.

And lastly, just having a fun thing doing a really nice event in Sagaponic (ph) with Michael Bolton and my friend, Susan Chim (ph).

RIVERA: Nice guy.

BOLLING: Very nice.


BOLLING: OK. Two pictures. One, I am massively proud of my son right there. He's in -- those are camp counselors at Camp Equinunk in Pennsylvania. He's right in the middle, off to screen right a touch. He spent seven weeks taking care of a group.

RIVERA: Why don't you put a circle around him?

BOLLING: Fantastic kid. He did a great job. And also we had -- after he came back, we had a couple of -- about a week or so in Mexico. And there's the picture of the group of us. Was just a fantastic time.

GUILFOYLE: Very nice.

BOLLING: What a wonderful summer.

GUILFOYLE: Happy for you.

RIVERA: We did -- we did a lot of traveling this summer. Went to Italy for a couple of weeks. Isola Desta (ph) in Lake Como. As I said when I tweeted this out, Erica and I will remember it forever. We hope Sol does.  At 10, I don't know what she's going to remember. But a cherished memory for us.

Did a lot of boating. Just came back. I single-handed from Martha's Vineyard yesterday.

GUTFELD: Why is your shirt on?

RIVERA: Parked -- parked and -- and I went to Coney Island with the -- Sol in the middle, her friend Alex on the left and Lola on the right, her two best friends. Coney Island, very underrated.

GUILFOYLE: All right. Beautiful summer. And I hope everyone else did at home, as well.

That's it for us. We're going to see you back here tomorrow. Happy Labor Day, everybody.

GUTFELD: Happy Labor Day!

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