Comedians mock Planned Parenthood scandal

'Funny or Die' releases satirical skit


This is a rush transcript from "The Five," August 13, 2015. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Geraldo Rivera, Eric Bolling and Greg Gutfeld. Its 5 o'clock in New York City and this is "The Five."

It is a sixth tape, another video has been released exposing Planned Parenthood's practice of selling body parts from babies it aborts. The group has maintained it donates fetal tissue for scientific research with quote, "Full consent from patients." But on this new tape, a technician from the lab that collects the so-called donations says some are in fact stolen with the mothers never told. A viewer warning, this is not suitable for children.


HOLLY O'DONNELL, EX-PROCUREMENT TECHNICIAN, STEMEXPRESS, LLC: The environment, it's morbid, like you can feel it. You can hear -- you can hear screaming. You can hear crying. The co-workers I had, they were just - - they would not consent the donors. If there was a higher gestation in the technician's need of this, there were times where they would just take what they want, and these mothers don't know. There's no way they would know.

Imagine if you were an abortion patient and someone was going in and stealing your baby's parts. And half these women are already on edge as it is.


PERINO: Planned Parenthood supporters on the left want nothing more for the scandal than to go away, so in a desperate attempt to diffuse the controversy, their new strategy is to make a mockery of it with the help of Funny or Die.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I was pregnant when I first went to Planned Parenthood. They led me down a narrow hallway into a little room filled with medical instruments, and they gave me great advice for pre-natal care.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Planned Parenthood overwhelmed me with the ability to make my own choices.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Without having to ask my congressman.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: After I asked who was paying for abortion services...

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I was appalled to learn that it was privately funded.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And any government money has been going to contraceptives and family planning -- unbelievable.


PERINO: Hilarious, right, Kimberly?

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: I mean, it's just really leaves me speechless when you see something like that. I don't think it's OK to make a mockery of women's health or of informed consent or of doing an investigation that is much needed. They are actually doing other women a disservice by trying to cover up the truth.

PERINO: I agree. What do you think, Greg? I mean, satire is something that can work, but maybe not at this moment on this topic?

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: What can they do? I mean, they're in bed with the devil. It's called Funny or Die, but fetuses don't have that choice because they're already dead. It's a shame that Funny or Die didn't exist generations ago because they would have been great propagandists for Stalin. Besides, who decides at this point, what's valuable and when? At 1:00 p.m. the fetus is not valuable, so you can abort it. At 1:30 p.m. the fetus is not valuable and can be used to save other babies that were lucky enough to cross the finish line. So that -- how is this work? A few researcher is built on a mountain of immorality and it's a shared immorality for all of us. And I think -- that's why if you look at the media there's like .008 percent of the media has been devoted to these videos.

PERINO: Right.

GUTFELD: That's less than Tom Brady. And it's simply because of guilt. We all feel a specific guilt that we are taking something that was once alive and using it to enhance our own lives. Its grotesque, but we accept it, and so does everybody else. If they were dolphins, or if they were baby cubs, at least PETA would be upset.

PERINO: It's true about the coverage. It's .008 and actually, none of the videos have shown. Eric, you've actually watched all the videos. Did you watch this one as well?


PERINO: Reaction?

BOLLING: Again, I don't recommend doing it. It's life-changing and it's life-altering. It's horrible to watch. Though -- what changes between 1:00 and 1:30 p.m. is the demand for the part. We have a demand for xyz part and apparently now, Planned Parenthood is now willing to go ahead and go after that part. And sometimes it's an intact fetus. So look, they -- the video - - the Funny or Die video, my comment on that is it's effective if you're in that frame of mind, but it's also wrong. A lot of things that they said on there were wrong.


BOLLING: Because you can't give $535 million to a group and say, it's only for that part of your business, even though you haven't separated the businesses. It's one business. So it's like putting money in your pocket. Whatever money you take out to pay for drugs or if you take pay for bread, it's the same pool of money. Stop giving them the money. Very quickly, sell at cost. They said they did then a video exposed it. They weren't selling it at cost. Remember the lady was drinking wine saying, "I need a Lamborghini." Then they said, "We don't sell body parts." And then we saw the baby body parts in the Petri dish. And then they said full consent in their literature. And now we have another video that this proves that they don't ask for -- sometimes they don't let the mother know fully aware or make them fully aware what they're going to use of them. They're bad. The abortion part of Planned Parenthood is bad. You got to stop them. Let them reopen as Planned Parenthood 2 and don't provide the services, and then give them taxpayer money.

GERALDO RIVERA, CO-HOST: That's your opinion, dude.

BOLLING: Correct. It is.

RIVERA: The Planned Parenthood is bad because you're against abortion.

BOLLING: No, no.

RIVERA: You said it was a life-altering -- you said it was a life-altering experience.

BOLLING: Can we do not do this again today?

RIVERA: You said it was a life-altering experience.

BOLLING: Can you not do this again? I'm.

RIVERA: It was not even a life-altering experience.

BOLLING: I am not commenting on abortion, Geraldo.

RIVERA: You again -- you are talking about abortion.

BOLLING: No, I am not. I'm commenting on selling body parts.

RIVERA: So what is -- what is a good abortion to you? Do you know what abortion?

BOLLING: Do you know the difference between -- what Planned Parenthood.

RIVERA: What is a good abortion, Eric? What is it?

BOLLING: A good abortion is one.

RIVERA: A good abortion is what?

BOLLING: That saves the mother's life.

RIVERA: You know what a good abortion is? A good abortion is.

BOLLING: A good abortion.

RIVERA: In a clean place.

BOLLING: A good abortion is one.

RIVERA: Where the woman's health is protected as opposed to a back alley, as opposed to back alley.

BOLLING: A good.

RIVERA: Where the woman dies with some butcher, cutting her to pieces.

BOLLING: Are you done? Because.

RIVERA: What do you think we got this?

BOLLING: I'm not commenting on abortion, Geraldo.

RIVERA: We'll be waiting all the rest of it.

BOLLING: I'm commenting on.

RIVERA: This is baloney. You are -- this is --

BOLLING: I'm done.

RIVERA: This is all a plot.

BOLLING: I'm done.

RIVERA: To make abortion.

BOLLING: You know, you want to talk, you don't want to listen so.

RIVERA: An issue and it is just -- some people say Donald Trump is a stalking horse for Hillary Clinton. He's going to wreck the Republican Party because he has no chance of being elected. Abortion is another stalking horse for the democrats. It fuels the whole war on woman thesis. It allows -- it allows democrats to say, see, the Eric Bolling of the world want to take away your right to choose.

BOLLING: Let me know.

RIVERA: That's what this does.

BOLLING: Once that I ever say that. Let me know once that I've ever commented on abortion. Not once have I. I've commented on the illegal practice of taking fetal body parts and selling them for profit. One, two, Geraldo, two is illegal. One.

RIVERA: Abortion.

BOLLING: No comment.

RIVERA: Abortion is ugly. It's ugly and Greg is right to the sent -- to the extent that we don't want to think about it. We don't want to think about it. We don't want to think about -- we are thinking about how -- what is -- what this actually entails. But the majority of the American people want adult women to have the right to choose, whether to terminate the pregnancy or to keep the child.


PERINO: It's an effect -- it's kind of an effective tool to shut all of this down, but Kimberly, you were at the Gosnell trial.


PERINO: There is -- I think its unfortunate -- I know that people can separate the idea of the safe and legal abortion, compared to the selling of --


PERINO: Of body parts. And remember, intact babies. And now we know that sometimes it's without consent.


PERINO: Legally, that is a problem.

GUILFOYLE: Legally, morally.

PERINO: of course.

GUILFOYLE: Ethically.


GUILFOYLE: It's an outrage. And it should be something that we should all care about. Separate and differentiate the right of a woman to choose, which exists in this country in the United States under Roe v. Wade. And then safe and ethical practices that should be happening, but it's not just also like the woman's right and the woman's right to be free from being butchered. But what about the babies involved? And why wouldn't we want to avail ourselves of the science and of the facts out there? And when life actually begins? And when life is conceived and when there is a heartbeat. When we've had -- listen to intelligent conversations by people like Dr. Ben Carson, who actually knows something about this. And I guess what we're trying to say is, everybody benefits, women and children by an intelligent, thoughtful discussion. And yes, sometimes an investigation because there are doctors in this country that are performing late-term abortions, people like Dr. Gosnell that are butchering live babies. Babies that were born, delivered outside of the womb, and actually were able to live and breathe on their own that were killed. That --

PERINO: Which would be against the law.

GUILFOYLE: Yes. And which was against the law and he is serving life in prison without the possibility of parole as he should because he is in fact, a murder. You should be interested in that as well.

PERINO: You want to weigh in here, Greg?

GUTFELD: Well -- this consent thing, we're talking about the consent of the woman having the abortion for allowing the fetal tissue to be used. I don't really think she should have consent. This is not an organ to be donated. You do not -- you have -- this where you have to separate the pro-chart -- pro-choice argument from this idea of fetal dismemberment. It's a dishonest leap to put them both together to say that because I have a right to do this, I can also make a decision what to do with the cadaver. No, you don't. You can be -- it's like saying, I am pro Second Amendment, which means, I also have the right to shoot my gun wherever I want. No, you're for the right, but that doesn't allow you these other things. Basically, what we've done is we've relegated dead babies.

RIVERA: Are you saying that women should not have the ability to consent whether or not their aborted fetus can be used for research?

GUTFELD: Yes, absolutely.

RIVERA: That's crazy.

GUTFELD: How is that crazy?

RIVERA: That's crazy.

GUTFELD: How is that crazy?

RIVERA: You're.

GUTFELD: Explain to me how is that crazy?

RIVERA: So I'm a --

GUTFELD: To make yourself feel better?

RIVERA: I'm an 18-year-old rape victim.

GUTFELD: To make yourself feel better?

RIVERA: I'm an 18-year-old rape victim.

GUTFELD: I know you're going to use the rape, but I am.

RIVERA: Or incest victim.

GUTFELD: I am not against abortion for...

RIVERA: Or incest victim.

GUTFELD: Rape or incest.

RIVERA: And they.

GUTFELD: Let's get that on the table.

RIVERA: And then, and then -- and you're saying that the person who aborts.

GUTFELD: You jump in.

RIVERA: That my fetus has the right to decide without asking me.

GUTFELD: I'm -- I.

RIVERA: What to do with it?

GUTFELD: There is a difference. You cannot use.

RIVERA: What if I want to make it dog food?

GUTFELD: You can't --


GUTFELD: That's it. You just proved my point. If you want to make it dog food, what's the difference? You are repurposing the unborn child to enhance your present living desires. And that you do not have the choice for. And in terms of bringing up rape and incest, when did I say I was against abortion for that? You're using that as a straw man argument.

RIVERA: Why is that any less hideous to you? Why? It's still the same. You're taking away a life. Why is that mean less to you?

GUTFELD: Let me get this straight because you don't want the fetus to go to waste, right?

RIVERA: I want.

GUTFELD: Is that.

RIVERA: A cure for cancer. I want a cure for heart disease and Parkinson's disease.

GUTFELD: And at any cost, at any cost.

RIVERA: And Alzheimer.

GUTFELD: At any.

RIVERA: That's want I want.

GUTFELD: God bless you. I hope you live long on the back of dead fetuses, Geraldo.

RIVERA: Oh, please.

GUTFELD: No, I'm using your argument. I'm validating your argument. You want to live longer on the back of fetuses.

RIVERA: Why don't you bury your head in the sand and ignore the reality of how medicine gets done, how research gets done.

GUTFELD: I know. I look at the videos, Geraldo.

PERINO: That's way I think that that's unfair.


PERINO: But remember, the federalist piece I keep referring you to the Amy Otto piece, there's others about how fetal research is actually, you can grow the cells in a lab without having to do this.


BOLLING: Can we just, also.

GUILFOYLE: It's no longer necessary.

BOLLING: Geraldo, can we just please stop attaching all abortion to what Planned Parenthood is doing that's.

PERINO: Right.

BOLLING: A, illegal, b, disgusting and c, unethical.

RIVERA: Well, I don't know what the facts are, Eric. I know that the people who wrote.

GUTFELD: That would be a start. Find out the facts.

RIVERA: Well, do -- you don't know them any better than I.

GUILFOYLE: That's why they should investigation.


GUTFELD: I know the moral underpinnings of your argument.

RIVERA: You trust these activists.

GUTFELD: The moral underpinnings of your argument are corrupt.

RIVERA: They're illegally obtained.

GUTFELD: Your arguments are corrupted.

RIVERA: Highly edited.

GUTFELD: By selfish human desire. You're a selfish human being because you want to live long.

RIVERA: And you want to live long? You say 1988?

GUTFELD: You want to live.

RIVERA: You know what that is?

GUTFELD: You want to live longer.

RIVERA: You've been selfish until 1988, and then you have your eureka moment. I believe that.

PERINO: That's actually not what Greg said yesterday. But you know what? We've got to go, next. And plus, latest chapter in Trump's feud with Rand Paul. That's -- that will be better.


RIVERA: That will calm things down.


GUILFOYLE: If Donald Trump wants to be president, voters will need to know where he stands on the issues and who he'll rely on to help him lead the country. Well, Sean Hannity asked him for some specifics in part two of his sit down.


DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I would use the greatest ones. I know the best negotiators.

SEAN HANNITY, HANNITY SHOW HOST: I mean like a fair tax?

TRUMP: If make a billion dollars and somebody else is making a hundred and he's paying $10 and I'm paying -- yet, it to me -- I don't know. I like somewhat of a graduation. Easiest thing to do is make that system uncomplicated and make it really good. Make it really good. Putin, two months ago started saying well, we have nuclear weapons. You better not mess around.

HANNITY: He's come to town. Would you meet with him?

TRUMP: I would meet with him. Frankly, I get along great with him. You got to get along with these people. Obama doesn't doesn't get along with anybody.

HANNITY: Who are the people you listen to the most as it relates to politics?

TRUMP: I listen to everybody. I don't really have to.

HANNITY: Yeah. Is there anyone close to you that really -- that you count on the most?

TRUMP: Well, I have some very smart people in my organization and my children are very smart.


GUILFOYLE: That was nice.

BOLLING: Children are very smart (ph).

GUILFOYLE: They are. One republican who won't be voting for Trump, his opponent, Rand Paul, he released an attack ad targeting the Donald yesterday and the debut (ph) his own best Trump impression.


RAND PAUL, PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: We have now people up there who say such profound things as, you're stupid. You're fired. You're a pig. You look terrible. You only have half a brain. And then when you respond with an argument it's like you're stupid. My favorite is -- you know the reason I tell women they're ugly is because I'm so good-looking.


PAUL: Everybody knows I'm good-looking, right? Another one is, you know, I'm not just smart I'm rich.


GUILFOYLE: OK. So was this an effective -- you're laughing.

RIVERA: I like Rand Paul a lot. And they -- he don't --he's almost the -- in terms of likability and hangout ability, I would like to hang out with him as much as I like to hang out with Donald Trump. And he's right about the Donald's approach to scorched earth every time he gets criticized. You say, you push, he pushes twice as hard. That is his emo (ph). There's no doubt about it. But the frustration I sense in Rand Paul, and both Eric and I share the -- and affection I think, I don't want to speak for Eric, for Rand Paul early on, but he's been totally dominated by Donald Trump. He's taken all of that renegade air out of the room. And it is almost like you can't fight Trump on the Trump level, and even the jokes fall flat.


BOLLING: So I've been saying here, whatever Donald Trump is tapping into, the other republican candidates should at least try and grab some of it. It's a -- I don't like Washington business as usual. I want to go to Greg - - push back and the voters are saying, I like what he's saying because he's not saying what everyone else has been saying. Rather than attacking him, I don't -- I agree with you. I'd -- Rand Paul is a great guy to hang out with and have a beer with. He -- or Kentucky bourbon with, but attacking Donald Trump when he's -- when Trump is moving up the polls, it doesn't seem like -- look, he may -- look, have brilliant people surrounding him, saying this is the way to garner some of the Trump momentum. I don't know. I think I would try to jump on, get on the same team, and try a similar strategy, if I was him.

GUILFOYLE: All right. Sergio, you're calling him now?

BOLLING: I -- there's a whole crew.

GUILFOYLE: All right.

RIVERA: Sergio.



GUILFOYLE: Sergio, a guard who works for Rand.


GUTFELD: It is important to our viewers at home.

GUILFOYLE: Man crush situation, Bolling. Ok, so we've got a call for screen, if you guys can pop this up. This is Donald Trump, because of course, of course, he responded to Rand Paul. He said, "Recently, Rand Paul called me and asked me to play golf. I easily beat him on the golf course and will even more easily beat him now. Senator Paul has no chance of winning the nomination and the people of Kentucky should not allow him the privilege of remaining their senator." Dana, what do you think?

PERINO: It's like people want to go back to the days of the Romans and go into the Coliseum and then they got a big fight and everybody up, down. It looks -- one of the things people like about Donald Trump is that he fights. Rand Paul fights. And I've had differences with him and he's grown on me because he is -- I think it's great. If you're going to be attacked by Donald Trump, you might as well push back. What does Rand Paul have to lose? He's his own man. And if people want to see a fight, they want to see somebody who can actually stand up to him, more power to him. I think it's good.

GUILFOYLE: Do you think he's one of the few people that.

PERINO: I think it keeps -- and here's another thing. Everybody -- a lot of the other candidates are taking a safer route.

RIVERA: Huckabee.

PERINO: Right? They're not going to comment on it. They want his vote in the future, like they're off to his side. Who are we talking about today? Rand Paul.

BOLLING: And Rand and Chris Christie have been dusting it up quite a bit.

PERINO: Yes, it's how you get in the news.

BOLLING: Yeah, I guess.

PERINO: On cable.

GUILFOYLE: During in the debate, too.

PERINO: But I mean, can like --


PERINO: You can't be like -- or don't attack the guy who's attacking everybody else because he's so powerful. That's not how it works.

RIVERA: He's at 5 percent in Iowa.

PERINO: I think Rand is smart.

GUILFOYLE: Al right.

RIVERA: Five percent in Iowa are Rand Paul.

GUTFELD: Trump's cabinet picks, what did he say on Hannity? He mentioned people that say nice things about him.

PERINO: Perfect.

GUTFELD: Yeah. So he confesses. The way to his heart, really is flattery and God forbid, if you criticize him. If you criticize him, then you're no longer his friend. He will come after you on Twitter. It's a campaign that is actually fueled by emotion. It's fueled by need for love. It's as, though, he turns everybody around him into his children, and he's the stern father. And if you say something nice, that's nice. And so then you have people say like, maybe you shouldn't go after Donald. After he goes after everybody else, but maybe you should lay off him. What's the problem? This to me is very similar. You're tapping into -- again, what I feel is an emotional movement that is untethered to fact and reason. It's very similar to black lives matter, a movement that is driven by legitimate anger, but it's an anger that now drowns out reason and denies people the right to respond in public, which is what's happening now. You have an emotional position, an emotional campaign to support Donald Trump, but you get upset if somebody actually questions it. When in fact, questioning is the only way to get the truth. It's the only way to strengthen your case. And by the way, Donald Trump is getting more and more specific about his proposals. Why? Not because of the sycophants that kiss his butt, but because of the people that asked him questions and were critical of him.

BOLLING: So should -- you know the ones that have been slipping, Scott Walker, Jeb Bush should they start fighting -- picking fights?


PERINO: I will let Rand take the lead.

GUTFELD: I think being critical is different than picking fights. It's not bashing. It's actually helpful. It's good to get -- by the way, I'm all for unity. I want people to unify, but I think you've got to be critical especially, when somebody is being vague and also has recently changed his positions. You need to get down to the evolution of that idea.

RIVERA: I don't know who you are.

PERINO: I don't think Trump's response on was very effective -- was smart.

GUTFELD: Also like he said.

PERINO: And he said.

GUTFELD: Those of brings up golf.

PERINO: When he brings up this issue that Rand Paul is facing in Kentucky. Can you run for Senate and president in the same year? He -- that was an effective push back from.

GUILFOYLE: It is. He's got a response every time somebody comes at him. You have to be ready for that because another one he had with. He said Rand's campaign is a total mess. As a matter of fact, I didn't know he had anybody left in his campaign to even make commercials, who weren't currently under indictment, I mean, he'll make statements like that. Do you think that's a good strategy?

RIVERA: I think that it is a good strategy to point out that Donald Trump is at 22 percent in Iowa and Rand Paul is at 5 percent. Rand Paul comes from a place a lot closer to the Iowa caucuses, Kentucky. And I really believe he has lost the wind in his sails. He is that, in some ways, I think, trying to grab onto the Trump train.

GUTFELD: You know who's the son of Rand Paul? Donald Trump, not Rand Paul.

RIVERA: Yeah, you may be right, and I -- as I suggested yesterday.


RIVERA: That that is -- it's a lot of that.


RIVERA: A lot of the Rand Paul emotion that fueled those.


RIVERA: Renegade presidential runs.

PERINO: Bernie Sanders is their cousin?

RIVERA: Is what?



RIVERA: And then Bernie Sanders is their cousin.

GUILFOYLE: And by the way, it is not to even like bury the lead. How about, you know Ben Carson is in second place now. He's doing fantastic. His numbers are very, very good. So something to think about, people.

RIVERA: Good thing for a doctor.

GUILFOYLE: Ahead, a recipe for republicans to win back the White House. Greg has got it. Turn it up. Listen up.


GUTFELD: Right now, the Republican Party seems as fractured as Geno Smith's jaw. He plays football, Dana.

PERINO: OK. I really didn't know who that was.

GUTFELD: Or basketball. I don't really know. But it's.


GUTFELD: But it's natural given that the Party has always been united by hatred for lockstep. They're anti-lock step lock steppers. But Republicans can't win if they keep competing against themselves. My theory, the party is like the flick "The Dirty Dozen": A bunch of like-minded puzzle pieces who fit together as a deadly gang of highly efficient killers. So we could win if we stop calling each other losers, squishy and RINOs and admire what each has to offer. A recipe for winning is a collaborative group, which means these guys: The wacky libertarian who loves guns and Snowden; the foreign policy adult who knows our enemies and would strangle Snowden with a piano wire; the paleocon who hates gay marriage and pot, but hates liberals so much more that he'll shut up about it; the establishment suit who rejects ideology, but owns 16 pairs of identical khakis; the messenger who keeps everyone from saying stupid stuff, rejecting the shrill moralism of the past. And of course, the black lesbian veteran. Get them all in one room and the party starts, but only if we embrace truth. For the fracturing we see now is fuelled by anger. And the more emotion there is, the less room there is for reason.

So look at it like a thanksgiving dinner, full of intense bickering, but that bickering stop when the wolf arrives at the door. We used to pretty good at identifying that wolf. Is it outside or in? You decide.

I worked that little "you decide" in there, Kimberly.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, yes.

PERINO: What time do they serve wine at that dinner?

GUTFELD: I don't know.

RIVERA: We should serve wine on this show.

PERINO: Now you're killing me.

BOLLING: Good idea. Add alcohol.

GUTFELD: Just to loosen it up a little bit, right? Because we hold back.

GUILFOYLE: There may be a few people here still not...


RIVERA: I'm the new guy.

GUTFELD: Kimberly, you know what unites us? Hillary. Let's have a SOT of people talking about Hillary and her recent travails.



CARLY FIORINA (R), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: There is no excuse for a secretary of state using a private e-mail server and deciding which e-mails she's going to keep and which she's going to destroy.

JEB BUSH (R), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Thinking it was OK to use a private server? Thinking that her server would be safer than the State Department's firewalls?

SEN. RAND PAUL (R-KY), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Because really, the wisdom and whether or not she ought to be the commander in chief.

GOV. SCOTT WALKER (R-WI), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: The sad truth is the Chinese and Russian government probably know more about Hillary Clinton's e-mail server than do the members of the United States Congress. Hillary Clinton would be a good deceiver in chief but she cannot be trusted to be the commander in chief.


GUILFOYLE: He looks young, doesn't he?

GUTFELD: Control yourself, Kimberly. I'm going to you first, because I'm hoping that you offer a sophisticated response to this.



PERINO: To what? What is she supposed to respond to?

GUILFOYLE: I mean, what do you want me to respond to?

GUTFELD: Is it over for Hillary? Is it time for her to drop out of the race and retire to France where she would be loved?

GUILFOYLE: Is that a real question?

GUTFELD: It is to you.

GUILFOYLE: OK. No, it's not time for her to drop out of that race. Because it would be ridiculous. She is still ahead. She is still the best hope that they have at this moment in time. So she should stay in.

But I as a journalist would like her to answer questions. I would like to see her debate her Democratic opponents, to have a robust debate. And I would also like to see Joe Biden get into the race. So no. But do I think that she should be the next president of the United States? Absolutely not.

GUTFELD: Geraldo, her staff is e-mailing supporters, stressing there's nothing to worry about. Clearly, they're in a panic. Should she resign immediately?

RIVERA: Oh, stop. You know, I know you don't mean that. The king of facetiousness. But the -- I think -- I said yesterday, I just want to stress this as strongly as I possibly can.


RIVERA: When Eric Holder, the first African-American attorney general of the United States, was held in contempt of Congress because of the Trey Gowdy, Darrell Issa gang, it was a shame not on Eric Holder but on the oversight committee in the House of Representatives. I believe that this will ultimately head in the same direction.

I don't think that there'll be anything on those e-mails. I think it is a huge distraction. She's way too smart and clever, for all of her failings to suggest, that she is, like, leaving top-secret stuff so -- you know, so the nanny could pick it up. I mean, I think it's preposterous.

GUTFELD: No. But Bill's picking up the nanny.

GUILFOYLE: Right. But I mean, the problem is the Chinese are picking up the server and the e-mails. Thanks, Hillary.

RIVERA: The Chinese have had no problem, it seems to me, getting our secrets from our national security...

GUILFOYLE: Why are you like brushing kind of a stroke? Yesterday you said matter of intent. Actually, no. The law doesn't allow for that.

BOLLING: Thank you.


BOLLING: Thank you. You and I, we had a throw down on that. And it's not a matter of intent. If she's negligent, if she simply is -- has top-secret stuff on her private server and it leaks...

PERINO: It doesn't matter. It's on there.

BOLLING: And she is...


RIVERA: There is only one possibility that she is guilty of a crime. And this is what it is. If she had -- here's, like, a talking point. You see there's a headline there in bold.

GUTFELD: That's her e-mail.

RIVERA: Let's just say that this is -- and it says up here "top secret." And Hillary Clinton turns over this document, but before she does she whites out where it says top secret. And she says, "It didn't say 'top secret' when I got it." That's the crime.

BOLLING: No, no, no.


RIVERA: If it's top secret and she didn't...

BOLLING: Geraldo, if she takes this top-secret document and puts it onto a private server she committed a crime. Am I right?

GUILFOYLE: The crime is complete. It's not an issue of intent; it's an issue of negligence. She didn't properly maintain it. She violated the standards and practices.

RIVERA: True or false...

GUILFOYLE: And she, in fact, did have top-secret information. Bye-bye.

RIVERA: Counselor -- counselor, true or false. The document that is now classified top-secret was not so labelled at the time. It was subsequently labeled top-secret.

BOLLING: You don't know. You don't know that. Don't go there. Don't guy into that. We don't know.

GUILFOYLE: I wouldn't buy into that. I wouldn't buy it.

BOLLING: Do not...


PERINO: A thought experiment.

GUTFELD: Geraldo, Dana is going to do a thought experiment.

PERINO: I mean, some people will question my ability to do that, but I'm going to do it.

GUILFOYLE: Go ahead.

PERINO: Let's just say that this article popped up today. Search and replace Hillary Clinton and Cheryl Mills with Dick Cheney and his top aide, David Addington. And I guarantee you, you would have a different position. I guarantee you. The media would be in a complete and total meltdown with calls for him never to be allowed to run. And it would be amazing.

RIVERA: I would be -- I would be looking for yellow cake uranium.

PERINO: Nice deflection.

GUTFELD: I thought you were on a diet, Geraldo.

PERINO: I'm definitely right. Search and replace Dick Cheney with David Addington and see what your crazy uncle thinks.

GUTFELD: You know what? Speaking of crazy uncle, I think that this is all to get Joe Biden -- Obama wants Joe Biden to be president. And he's organizing this whole thing.

RIVERA: Do you know anybody that ever voted for Joe Biden for president?

GUTFELD: We have -- this was going to be my transition to the next segment.

RIVERA: Oh, sorry.

PERINO: So go for it.

GUTFELD: All right. Are Hillary Clinton supporters worried about Biden entering the race?



GUTFELD: Hear Howard Dean try to talk Joe out of running. Great hands. Look at those.


BOLLING: As new polls show Hillary Clinton's campaign faltering amidst her very serious e-mail scandal, some Democrats are hoping Joe Biden might still enter the race. Well, not Howard Dean. The former DNC chair and 2004 presidential candidate advises against the veep running.


HOWARD DEAN, FORMER DNC CHAIR: He's been a terrific vice president. The problem is that Joe Biden is a very good guy and probably has no appeal whatsoever to people under 35.

People under 35 elected Barack Obama president of the United States. That is a key part of the Democratic coalition. I think it makes sense to have a candidate -- and I think Hillary is one; I think Bernie is another -- who really can turn on the under-35 set. And I think that would be a problem for Joe.


PERINO: That is preposterous.

BOLLING: Well, Dean -- let me finish this last piece. Dean is a big Clinton supporter. Are he and the others concerned about it? Go ahead.

PERINO: OK. So Kimberly and I...

BOLLING: So much...

PERINO: I wish you could see. We can speak to each other through our eyes. That's ridiculous, OK?

Howard Dean is saying that Bernie Sanders, who's 75, and Hillary Clinton, who's like over 70, and then Joe Biden; but Joe Biden couldn't apply -- couldn't appeal to younger voters? But everybody knows Obama-Biden. So if they liked Obama, they probably liked Biden.


PERINO: It's a preposterous argument.

GUILFOYLE: And Howard Dean's going to tell me what's going to turn someone on?

PERINO: Yes, please.

RIVERA: Would you ever -- would you ever vote for Joe Biden?

GUILFOYLE: OK. You want to do the turned-on question?


GUILFOYLE: All right. Hillary Clinton? No.

RIVERA: I'm not talking about Hillary. I'm speaking about the vice president of the United States.

PERINO: You should go through the list.

GUILFOYLE: Bernie Sanders doesn't turn me on.

PERINO: O'Malley.

GUILFOYLE: Joe -- he's kind of cute. Joe Biden turns me on. You know why? Because he's fun. He likes controlled water, midnight naked swimming. That sounds like he's going to ...

BOLLING: Yes, he's good.


GUILFOYLE: He can attract the demographic.

RIVERA: Remember when he went up to Obama and said, "This is a big (mumble) deal"?

GUILFOYLE: OK. I was, like, wait.

BOLLING: We didn't have enough time to roll that whole comment that Howard Dean said, but earlier in the comment he said Hillary did nothing wrong. You know what? There's your tell.

GUTFELD: If that's your best attribute, that she's done nothing wrong.


GUTFELD: His -- his winning formula is that when he's not around, you don't notice that he's not around.

BOLLING: Joe Biden.

GUTFELD: Yes. It's like a super -- he's got a superpower of not being seen.

RIVERA: Invisibility.

GUTFELD: Yes. Incredible. I wish I had that.


GUTFELD: Also his slogan if he runs is "We're all Biden time."

BOLLING: Very nice. Geraldo, in a certain quirky world where people say what's on their mind and they jump to the top of the polls, I could actually see Biden raising -- because Trump raising.

RIVERA: I remember from 1998 when he really had, you know, kind of a youthful vigor, and it seemed as if -- relatively speaking. And it seemed as if on paper he was an excellent candidate.

And yet he never polled more than 1 or 2 percent as far as I recall in those early primaries and was soon an asterisk. And he was a perfect person for the president of the United States, Barack Obama, to pluck. Why? Because Biden was the experienced, serious steady hand, familiar like an old shoe. Barack Obama, you know, with his untraditional background, a freshman senator and all the rest. It was a great kind of symbiosis.

But Biden on his own, I think...

BOLLING: So Biden -- Biden would be an old shoe, but Hillary and Bernie wouldn't be old shoes?

RIVERA: No, they aren't. And with Bernie Sanders, it's not about age; it's about his spunkiness. And...


GUILFOYLE: Biden is spunky. Why isn't he spunky?

RIVERA: Would anybody ever be considering Joe Biden -- and God forgive me if anyone is offended by this.

GUILFOYLE: Don't say it.

RIVERA: The son, Beau...

PERINO: Yes, they would. They were talking about him before. No, that's not fair.

RIVERA: That's where all -- that's where all this comes, from that sympathy.


PERINO: No. Joe Biden has actually...

RIVERA: Well, is it relevant, though? Am I so wrong to think that?

PERINO: Joe Biden has absolutely earned his right to be considered as a presidential candidate.

GUILFOYLE: He has. And he has experience and qualifications, ability to do so. So in terms of that look at his resume. All right. We'll see.

BOLLING: Can we go?

GUTFELD: Yes. I'm good.

BOLLING: All right. Let's go. Still to come, these two police officers put their hands up to deliver a powerful message to the Black Lives Matter protesters. You're going to hear from them next.


RIVERA: Black Lives Matter protesters disrupted yet another presidential candidate's event yesterday, this time forcing Jeb Bush abruptly to end his rally in Las Vegas, ironically after Governor Bush was expressing concerns about racism in America.

Fellow GOP presidential candidate Ben Carson had a message for the entire movement.


DR. BEN CARSON (R), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Of course black lives matter. But what I feel is that, instead of people pointing fingers at each other and just creating strife, what we need to be talking about is how do we solve the problem in the black community of murder, essentially?


RIVERA: A brilliant statement. How do we solve the problem of murder in the black community? This fine man raises the real issue that is the civil rights issue of our day: young black men killing other young black men.

While protesters like the Black Lives Matter protesters are pointing fingers, these two cops you're about to see of different races are using their hands to point out both of their lives matter. Their photo went viral. Here were Trinity, Texas, Police Chief Steven Jones and Officer Donald Gibbons on "FOX and Friends" this morning.


CHIEF STEVEN JONES, TRINITY POLICE DEPARTMENT: We were sitting one morning talking about it, and we decided to do it together. We thought it would send a good message locally. We had no idea that it would go national.

OFFICER DONALD GIBBONS, TRINITY POLICE DEPARTMENT: Our Christian values, an d you live morally, I mean, everything -- we all have to serve the same god. And hopefully, we can come together as a nation and go forward.


RIVERA: It was a wonderful gesture. And Eric, Dr. Ben Carson showing real courage in addressing an issue that I think President Obama has not done nearly enough about.

BOLLING: Yes. There's no -- well, some would say President Obama has made matters worse. He's not only not done anything about it; he's actually exacerbated the divisiveness, the racial divide in America.

Leo Terrell was on here yesterday, who's a high-profile African-American attorney. And I asked him, "Is it offensive to you if I say white lives matter?"

He said, "No, it's not offensive. But it's a distraction."

What these two cops are doing is they're showing that neither one should be offensive, and neither one should be a distraction. Everyone should get together and say all lives, in fact, do matter.

But the problem with the Black Lives Matter movement, if it's not black lives matter it's bad. It's offensive and a distraction, and it shouldn't be around which is wrong. Which is divisive itself.

GUILFOYLE: It's an exclusive group.


GUILFOYLE: Versus -- versus it should be inclusive. I mean, you're making the problem worse if you're saying black lives matter. The opposite is, OK, but those are the only lives that matter. It's just, like, it's not the best approach. And I just don't think that it invites, like, honest dialogue and discussion to bring us closer.

RIVERA: The one point I think has to be made, not made often enough, is there is a real issue of young black men and cops and violence, and young black men dying who shouldn't, who don't deserve to die under the circumstances often.

But it is a small issue compared to the much larger issue of urban violence.

But the question, Dana, I have for you is here's Dr. Ben Carson. Here is an African-American man, a learned man, a man of great regard and repute. He's trying -- he came to Harlem. When was the last time -- I can't remember a GOP candidate going to Harlem. Is it a waste of time?

PERINO: No. That's not a waste of time. I think it's wonderful that he went there. And he had a really good event.

And actually, at the Jeb Bush event, he wasn't just talking about racism but in private, before his event he actually met with them, the Black Lives Matter people.

So actually, they are being responded to.

Rand Paul has gone into the community. And you'll see a lot more of it. There are actually -- have -- you look at the governors. You think of Kasich, Walker. They actually deal with things in Milwaukee and Cleveland, wherever it is that they are.

So I think the movement's got a little bit out of hand. But the candidates are actually responding to them. Hillary Clinton, too.

GUILFOYLE: Let's make the point: that Jeb met with them privately and was having a discussion and an open dialogue. And then the cameras roll and acting up. Like, come on.

RIVERA: Does it matter what a Republican does in terms of the black vote?

GUTFELD: I think over time it will have an effect. But I think the real problem here is when you're looking at this stepping back, you're seeing that this discourse is being replaced by demand. Meaning that people show up, say what they want to say, but they don't want to hear anybody else responding, because to them facts are hate crimes.

So if you bring up black-on-black crime, that may be a fact, but it makes them a hate crime, because it makes them upset. For example of a lowering of discourse today, you know -- this was tweeted at me. "I wish I was a unicorn so I could stab Geraldo with my face."

PERINO: Not nice.


GUTFELD: That's where it's going, Geraldo.

RIVERA: I can picture the visual.

BOLLING: You got that tweet already?

GUTFELD: Yes. I got that tweet.

RIVERA: "One More Thing" is next.


PERINO: It's time now for "One More Thing." And because mine is awesome, I get to go first.

OK, look at this. Military wife Katie Flath and her husband, very happy together. Air Force Master Sergeant Jesse Garcia is his name. He was deployed to South Korea last August. And so, she has these two bulldogs. They are Dozer and Touchdown. And every day she dressed them up. She put them by a chalkboard, and she counted down the days until they -- their dad was coming home.

This is the final one. Do we have the final picture there? It said, "Mom and Dad were too busy to do a final chalkboard," meaning I guess everything went well when he got home on the reunion. Isn't that cute? K.G., I thought you would like that.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, wow. Thank you.

PERINO: The most recent was picture of a husband and the two bulldogs and a chalkboard, crossed out with a zero, saying "successful deployment."

GUILFOYLE: Good for him.

PERINO: Thank you to Amy Theiss for sending that to me.

GUILFOYLE: That was a spicy "One More Thing" for you.

PERINO: For me, I know.

GUTFELD: All right.

PERINO: Do you want to go next?

GUTFELD: Yes. They told me I've got to go, because you've been doddering around.

PERINO: They're yelling at you now.

GUTFELD: Yes, they are., I've got a piece on Trump. It's quite entertaining. And I'm going to...

BOLLING: What's the headline?

GUTFELD: "The Trump Speech Donald Trump Should Make to Me."

PERINO: And you write it in character.

GUTFELD: Yes, I do. I write it as him talking to me.

By the way, I'm also going to be on "Lou Dobbs" tonight. Here's a teaser of what happens.




GUTFELD: Greatest auditions ever.

BOLLING: Is that you in the middle?

GUTFELD: That's me in the middle. Actually, it's Keith Wilson. He tried out for the Miami Dance Squad. But they said they weren't open to a male performer, which is sexist. And I'm suing on behalf of Keith.

PERINO: Are you boycotting?

GUTFELD: I'm girlcotting, too. Boycotting and girlcotting, because I don't see sexes.

PERINO: All right.

RIVERA: A dear friend of mine is retiring from the United States Army tomorrow. He is the chief of staff of the United States Army, 38th chief of staff. Ray Odierno.

GUILFOYLE: Real nice.

RIVERA: We met him in Iraq in Tikrit when he only had two stars. He had just captured Saddam Hussein. Now he has four stars. Chief of staff of the Army. He's from New Jersey. I hope that when he retires, he comes back to New Jersey and runs for Senate as a Republican. He would get elected. He's a wonderful, wonderful man.

GUILFOYLE: Wonderful man.

RIVERA: We wish him the best. He also says we may need troops -- boots on the ground in Iraq to beat ISIS.

GUILFOYLE: OK. All right.

I hope he's back to liking our show.

PERINO: All right, Eric.

BOLLING: I'll be hosting "O'Reilly" again tonight. There's a big show. Dr. Ben Carson is on. He talked about Planned Parenthood. He said Planned Parenthood is targeting the African-American, not community but their population. That's a very controversial comment. I'm going to ask him about that.

But there's another one. There's been some rumors on the left or accusations from the left that he's been working with fetal tissue. He will clear that up tonight, whether or not he has been working with fetal tissue. It's pretty, pretty powerful. Check it out. Also Geraldo and Dana.

GUILFOYLE: He's not working with any fetal tissue now. That refers to a research paper from many years ago.

BOLLING: Well...

RIVERA: 1992.

PERINO: All right, Kimberly, I don't know if we left you enough time.

GUILFOYLE: I'm going to be really quick. OK. This is 3-year-old Kellan Tilton. When he was born, doctors discovered he had a cancerous tumor in his abdomen and spine. The Make-a-Wish Foundation built this pathway now, because it left him paralyzed. He's able to have this and be able to go into the barn to play with his brothers and sisters and his family. It was very exciting, and it was unveiled today. The Make-a-Wish Foundation, changing lives.

PERINO: Way to go, K.G.

BOLLING: Great group. Great group.

PERINO: All right. Set your DVRs. Never miss an episode of "The Five." That's it for us, and "Special Report" is up next.

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