'The Five' breaks down Hillary Clinton's candidacy

Gleefully pressing hot buttons that the media supply, they split Americans into competing teams


This is a rush transcript from "The Five," April 10, 2015. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: That's the problem. Hello, everyone. I'm Greg Gutfeld along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Julie Roginsky, Eric Bolling and she once dated the rich guy from Monopoly, Dana Perino,"The Five."

Hillary Clinton's announcing her candidacy Sunday, via recorded message. Here is a preview.


MARTIAN AMBASSADOR: Ack-ack, ack, ack-ack, ack. Ack ack! (END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That wasn't the right video, but it beats e-mail. So what is her big selling point?


HILLARY CLINTON, FORMER UNITED STATES SECRETARY OF STATE: Don't you someday want to see a woman president of the United States of America?



GUTFELD: Fair enough. But last time I checked there are 160 million Americans equally as qualified if you are just factoring in gender and some can handle two devices. Imagine interviewing a job applicant and asking, why should I hire you? And she responds, because I'm a woman. That is not enough, I'm guessing. But Hillary's campaign has always been gender specific and it is insulting to women. Forget issues like ISIS, Iran, Russia -- you're a woman, you only care about your chromosomes. You probably cried watching "The Notebook." But that the other international stuff? Don't worry your pretty little heads.

Now the women that I know, they think a lot more about foreign policy and economics than campus-approved gender conflict. How funny is it that conservative women are often more worldly than their lefty counterparts?

But this is how the left works, they don't see Americans, they see types of Americans that can only handle certain issues. If you are black, it's race. If you are a woman, it's gender. If you are Hispanic, it's immigration. Politicians gleefully press the hot buttons the media supplies, splitting Americans into competing teams. To them, division is their alcohol, the cause and solution of all their problems. And if the Republicans don't buy the unifying voice you can counter such conflict, this divide and conquer will continue until there is nothing left to split.

So Eric, why Sunday?

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: So I was thinking about this. Why Sunday?

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: And then you have a theory. BOLLING: Why Sunday? What is happening in Monday?

PERINO: Marco Rubio.

BOLLING: Marco Rubio, it's going to announce on Monday allegedly, you know since from Florida. So Sunday, not even in person via Facebook sounds to me like, she just wants to get this rolled out, she doesn't want the media attention, she once to say below the radar. Because once she announces, everybody's will going to start picking a party -- the candidate.


BOLLING: She wants to hide under Marco Rubio's cover for a while. GUTFELD: There is less damage that can be done on a tape. She sees what, she sees what happens to everybody and she goes out just -- send the tape out Julie, that's what she did. Kind of sad, don't you think?

JULIE ROGINSKY, GUEST CO-HOST: No, actually I think it's the opposite. I think she wants to take some attention away from Marco Rubio, which says to me that maybe Marco Rubio is who the Clinton campaign is more concerned about because, she knows she's going to get all the attention. She knows that she's going to announce on Monday and Sunday we all be talking about it Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday because she is Hillary Clinton, she's got the name --

BOLLING: You think they are more worried about Rubio than Jeb?

ROGINSKY: Yeah. For sure, for sure, I think so.

GUTFELD: Rubio is closest to Obama because, he is young, fresh and he can talk.

ROGINSKY: And the Bush name is -- I'm sorry to say, fairly damage so and the Rubio name was obviously not really damage. I think -- I have to think Marco Rubio is the strongest candidate the Republicans can put forward.

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: You seem like you are crushing on him.

ROGINSKY: You know --


ROGINSKY: He was here. You did hear it here couple weeks ago.


ROGINSKY: He was little dreamy again.

GUILFOYLE: Yeah, I could tell. You tried to ask him the hard hitting to get attention probably --

ROGINSKY: I did, I did.

GUILFOYLE: I saw that.

ROGINSKY: Purely to get some attention. I was like you know, I'm right here.


ROGINSKY: Ask him a tough question. There's going to be a question.

GUILFOYLE: It's going to be -- yeah.


ROGINSKY: You know it.

GUTFELD: Alright, K.G. I have a theory that she chose Sunday, because it is the masters, which is a subtle jab at Obama.

PERINO: I agree.

GUILFOYLE: Oh my, goodness. Don't forget she's a, you won't catch me focusing on golf and the masters.


GUILFOYLE: Listen, I'm still going to call it Sunday, bloody Sunday, right? Because it is going to be the launching and the inception of what difference does it make America? So let's see. Let's see if they pay attention, if they decide that they want more of that or not. I love to see a female president. Phenomenal, great.

GUTFELD: Me, too.

GUILFOYLE: How about the other 159 millions.



GUTFELD: Exactly. There are plenty. Elizabeth Warren, Dana.

GUILFOYLE: OK. Not that one. How about 158 million --

ROGINSKY: 49 nine, nine.

GUTFELD: What is your theory on the tape? I find it interesting that it is not live. I think that's saying something that she is scared.

PERINO: I think that -- I think she has so many consultants and that they are all over thinking this.


PERINO: That like because they want to be edgy and new and they have a new media, and they going to talk about her image makeover and all these things. I also think that they very much do not want her to have to answer questions on her first day.


PERINO: For example, Rand Paul answers questions on his first day and next day and he has a terrible week for his rollout. Doesn't mean he can't recover, and he probably can. She is terrible at interviews and there is a lot on the table that needs to be answered. She hasn't taken questions from the media since her pretty lame press conference at the United Nations when she told everybody, yes --


PERINO: I broke the law, but don't worry about it. But her announcement, finally on Sunday is like the slowest pulling off of the band aid in American history. She also --

GUTFELD: Can I point out --


GUTFELD: That she is announcing that she is tweeting? Who announces tweets? Anyway, go ahead.

PERINO: Like -- I will be tweeting tonight.


PERINO: I'll make sure -- appointment tweeting.


PERINO: This is what is now they call it.

GUTFELD: I'll be tweeting my comment.

PERINO: I have a lot of other things I could say, but maybe we should take around the table.

GUTFELD: Alright. Well, thank you for that.

PERINO: I don't want to dominate.

GUILFOYLE: They don't trust her for her own roll out, you get that, right?

GUTFELD: Yeah --

GUILFOYLE: Because she's going to step on herself, she doesn't have the charisma, the magnetism. She is not compelling, she comes off kind of cranky and -- they don't want to do that.

BOLLING: What would it be, what would it be if she were live? Would it be a Ted Cruz, you know 5,000 people in a stadium and will.

PERINO: No, she wants to be --

BOLLING: 5,000 people in the stadium.

PERINO: She wants to be -- shows she is humble and has humility, so she doesn't want big crowd for sure.

ROGINSKY: So I think what --

PERINO: That is what they said this --

ROGINSKY: I think what they are trying to emulate is the 2000 Senate campaign, when she went on a listening tour and she went around and sort of smaller events to show -- you she said that she is humble and not emulate with the opposite and emulate its -- (CROSSTALK)

ROGINSKY: This 2008 --

PERINO: Under emulate.

ROGINSKY: Under emulate. The 2008 campaign which obviously didn't go as well for her, but I think that's what they are trying to do. I agree. I think it is weird that she is not doing this via some sort of event, because it is not like the press that suddenly will stop paying attention to her. Now that she is a candidate, she is fair game. She can't say I'm not going to comment on Iran. I'm not comment on healthcare, whatever the issue is, she's going to have to comment. So the press is still going to follow her to these little events, whether she likes it or not. And I don't think she is going to be able to say --


ROGINSKY: And she's going to be able to say, I'm sorry, I'm not going to talk about it.

BOLLING: Why now -- so why now, why not -- since there are no competitors, there's no one, no ones in yet, It's the GOP kind of and stumbling a bit.

ROGINSKY: Probably, it's just, well --

BOLLING: Why not just wait and see how it plays -- she can pull the trigger within a few days.

ROGINSKY: Well, because --

BOLLING: She's got staff moving in the Brooklyn, right (ph).

ROGINSKY: Well, legal -- legally, I think there are certain things that she can't do, if she is not a candidate.

BOLLING: To raise money?

ROGINSKY: I think she's -- No.

BOLLING: She should be OK --

ROGINSKY: Where research -- I mean, there is certain components of things that she has to do, that already for Hillary or 527 can't do that's actually for her.


ROGINSKY: I mean, that's --

GUILFOYLE: You got to get it going.

ROGINSKY: I thought to get it going for --



PERINO: I think there are a couple of reasons, because I -- I think she could have waited until July, even if she wanted to. But I think that a couple of things have happened. She needs more organization. She has too many people. There are about 5,000 former staffers in the Clinton administration that want to get positions in the New Clinton administration. So there are just too many bodies --

GUILFOYLE: They need jobs -- yeah.

PERINO: And they also need to have to control over this third party groups that are coming up with the campaign ads.


PERINO: Like putting Bill Clinton in a bikini and say that this is actually going to work to appeal to women. The money thing is important as well, but I also think that they have been looking at her numbers and they are concerned.

GUTFELD: She probably.

PERINO: Presidential elections are about the future, I think that is probably one of the reasons she is most worried about Marco Rubio. There are also about character, trust and honesty. On those three factors, she has slid by double digits in all of the swing states for last month.

ROGINSKY: And that's --


ROGINSKY: And that's why it makes no sense to me. because as you said, if she needs to get her numbers back up and she needs to get out there as a candidate, she can't do this tweet or whatever she is going to do on Sunday and then go ahead and say, ah --

GUTFELD: That's it.

ROGINSKY: That's it.


ROGINSKY: I'll see you guys whenever I see you guys. That's it. I mean, she -- as you said, she --


GUILFOYLE: To Iowa, New Hampshire (inaudible).

ROGINSKY: She is -- with a very small event. As you said it, if she waited until July, she could have said, you know I'm not a candidate yet, I'm not ready to (inaudible) these issues. But now -- she's really got no choice.

BOLLING: No, that --

ROGINSKY: That's make no sense to me.

BOLLING: Correct me if I'm wrong, but they announce that she's going to -- announce on Sunday. They announce it after the first time she trailed anyone in the --


BOLLING: They have polls, tight? First time. So did they say --

GUTFELD: That's it.

BOLLING: Well, let's do the announcement --


PERINIO: I don't know, but I don't think -- I don't know if we can connect it that quickly -- that much because, with last week our Ed Henry was reporting that heard word that they were going to announce in the next two weeks. So, I think that this has been brewing for a while and they probably did try to peg it to Marco Rubio's announcement.

ROGINSKY: And I think the date, and I think the date probably was predetermined a lot by what I said, which is that they need to have an announcement. At least to have it declare in order to do something.

BOLLING: But -- to determine by to do a Facebook release?


ROGINSKY: It doesn't matter. Once, once you filed, you like -- sorry, once you filed the FPC papers, she's going to able to do certain things.


ROGINSKY: That she once can't do it. That's why --

BOLLING: Yeah. My point is --

GUILFOYLE: They have to do, because to take care of housekeeping.


GUILFOYLE: And things like that, because of the campaign rules and so she can spend money and develop these types and it also control more of her message.

PERINO: But --

GUILFOYLE: But it is kind of anti-climatic.

PERINO: I also think it is really strange. That one of the things that helps her if she has a big event shows the energy and excitement around her candidacy.


PERINO: And if you are in the room by yourself doing a Facebook selfie basically, it's telling you, "Hi, I'm going to run for president, vote for me." She is -- effectively, like an incumbent president running for a third term.


PERINO: That is really --

GUTFELD: Yeah. That's -- we're entitle on thing. Will -- but the question is, will the Democrats rally around H-Rod? Which is now her new name -- H- Rod.


GUTFELD: Thank you.

GUILFOYLE: She gave a thing (ph)?

GUTFELD: We have thought (ph).




NORAH O'DONNELL, CBS THIS MORNING SHOW CO-HOST: Do you think she is the future of the Democratic Party?

ELIZABETH WARREN, MASSACHUSETTS SENATOR: Well, I think we have to see -- first of all, if she declares and what she says she wants to run on. I don't think the Democratic Party is a static thing.

LINCOLN CHAFEE, EX-RHODE ISLAND GOVERNOR: I just think we made some mistakes particularly, going back to the decision to invade Iraq back in 2002. And with Hillary Clinton being the lead candidate and voting for the Iraq war authorization, even though it's a long time ago. It's affecting us today.

MARTIN O'MALLEY, EX-MARYLAND GOVERNOR: The presidency is not a crown to be passed back and forth between two families. I don't believe that it is a hereditary right.


GUTFELD: So the criticism I get from the Democrats is that she is not left- wing enough, which is that to a criticism that will help her, right?



PERINO: Not with the -- well, she doesn't need help with the Democrats.


PERINO: OK? GUTFELD: With Middle America.

PERINO: I think in my opinion all three of those individuals, one is selling a book, Lincoln Chafee, I mean that's why he's -- he is out there. I think they are all auditioning for the vice presidential slot. So that they will have -- she would have -- she can try to be Mrs. Reasonable, and that she would have someone that's slightly to her left over at the vice president office.

ROGINSKY: I -- I think Elizabeth Warren is using this as an opportunity to get Hillary to embrace some of her issues.


ROGINSKY: What Wall Street Post (ph) something else. Lincoln Chafee has been a Democrat.

PERINO: Anti-trade?

ROGINSKY: All that's stuff. Lincoln Chafee has been a Democrat for about five minutes to welcome to the party for our Former Senator Chafee, good to have you there. And Martin O'Malley has been out for awhile. I mean, to Martin O'Malley's credit, he got out there when nobody else wanted to get out there and --


ROGINSKY: Present herself as a challenger to her.


ROGINSKY: We will see if any of them will go negative on her though. I don't --


ROGINSKY: I doubt it.

PERINO: No. I think they were running for vice president.

BOLLING: That wasn't exactly a resounding --


BOLLING: Endorsement by it was --


BOLLING: It was with more of Hilary Clinton. And it would -- to me would seem that she doesn't want go that far, because she may still decide to jump in the race.



GUILFOYLE: She is changing her bed, let's see. But you know what? She's not going to win the general election. But --

ROGINSKY: It's like she --

GUILFOYLE: Please, jump in.

ROGINSKY: She is not jumping in. She knows she is not going to get the nomination when she were --

BOLLING: Will she bet (ph) for -- Hillary for? If Elizabeth Warren jump in?

ROGINSKY: I always thought Hillary would benefit from a strong --


ROGINSKY: And I said this before from a strong primary, regardless of who that person is. I so think Elizabeth Warren, herself is using this in those opportunity as I said, to try to get Hillary to embrace some of her more populous issues.

PERINO: And I think it is a huge risk for the Hillary Clinton camp to think that it will be a good thing for them to have a strong primary opponent in 2008, she lost.

GUILFOYLE: She lost.

GUTFELD: Yeah. That's so true.


GUILFOYLE: She could be well -- double Jinx. She doesn't well with the competition or people are trying to like, question what she just -- I think Elizabeth Warren is a problem for her, because she would pushed her too far left. Maybe for the primary and she'll get some of her -- you know, self adopted. But ultimately, to win a general election, if she goes too far left, she's going to have a big problem and --


GUILFOYLE: Somebody is going to step in.

GUTFELD: Alright. I have to step in now --


GUTFELD: America. How are the 2016 Republican hopefuls reacting to the Hillary news? Or H-Rod. Campaign Carl is with them at the NRA convention in Nashville. What a surprise. He joins us next.


PERINO: In less than 48 hours, Hillary Clinton is expected to kick start her second presidential campaign. Republicans are already gearing up for a long fight. Here is a new stop Hillary ad, released by the RNC.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: (inaudible) in welcoming Hillary Rodham Clinton.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hillary Clinton has some explaining to do.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Used her personal e-mail account to conduct official business.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Want to reset relations with Russia.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Right. Not really working out well.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Potentially, catastrophic move for Hillary Clinton.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Millions of dollars for foreign governments.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Landing on a sniper fire.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It was a prank. It was lie.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: What difference at this point does it make?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: If this is just par for the course for the Clinton, they are always a little bit secretive.


PERINO: And earlier at the NRA convention in Nashville, some of the 2016 GOP contenders brought Clinton's name up.


SCOTT WALKER, WISCONSIN GOVERNOR: We got a president, people like Hillary Clinton who seem to think that you measure success in government, by how many people are dependent on the government. I think we should measure success by just the opposite.

JEB BUSH, FORMER FLORIDA GOVERNOR: It is the liberal, progressive worldview of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton and Eric Holder, and all the other people who want to take the guns out of the hands of the good guys.


PERINO: How are the -- OK, that's ahead and here we are.


PERINO: I don't know what was -- what was in the teleprompter, because I've been excited all day. Campaign Carl is at that convention and he joins us now. Carl, what is the reaction from the Republicans about Hillary Clinton's announcement? Do they think it is a little early?

CARL CAMERON, CHIEF POLITICAL CORRESPONDENT: No. I think they figure it is probably a little bit late. You were talking earlier about the fact that she had rented office space in Brooklyn. And when you spend more than $5,000 towards a potential presidential campaign, if you don't file with the FPC, they will going to come after you for a violation.

So, she once this, she rented the -- office space. They had to do something within 15 days and that's what really is happening. But at the same token, the Republicans know that Hillary Clinton is sort of a punching bag if she is out there not fighting back and her surrogates are ready for Hillary volunteer operations and she supposedly independent groups are trying to do what they can.

But, the truth that it matters, they are already to fold into the Hillary camp, anyway and it has been a consistent message from all of the Republican candidates who have been appearing here at the National Rifle Association Annual Convention. There are some 70,000 sports men and enthusiasts who come to national (ph) for this, and a big part of this, to hear the presidential campaigns. Marco Rubio, Jeb Bush, all of them making references to Hillary Clinton, as well as Barack Obama and what they considered to have been. Well, President Obama's attempts to legislate gun control, and use some of his executive actions to do so, which I think is completely illegal, and of course, undermining the second amendment of the constitution.

So, that is really not a surprise, but there are -- most of the candidates who showed up here today, not the entire field but they all have A's of their elected officials from the NRA. Unelected officials versus Ben Carson and Donald Trump, they don't get rated. But everybody else has supposed to have an A or an A plus. There is couple of absentees, Rand Paul is not here. Of course, he launched his campaign this week and he is in Iowa with the first caucus state today, and will be in South Carolina tomorrow and will end up in California before the weekend is out.

So his excuse -- and he has an A for the NRA is that he is out campaigning already. Chris Christie did not show up here. The New Jersey governor, he is one of the candidates or potential candidates who does not have an A or a B here. He's got a C, because there have been some gun control laws that have happened, going to act, going been enacted while he has been the governor of New Jersey. This is really about uniting the right, getting the Republican base. The NRA does have some democratic sportsmen who support the second amendment, they are not allowing (inaudible).

PERINO: OK. Carl, I'm going to jump in here because --

CAMERON: Because largely Republican -- sure, go ahead, Dana.

PERINO: OK, because you threw cold water all over my question. I'm going to see if you do the same to Greg Gutfeld. Greg, go ahead.

GUTFELD: So -- Carl, the NRA convention, their events at the Bridgestone Arena which is a gun free zone. Isn't that like having cattleman's association meeting at a vegetarian restaurant? It makes no sense.

CAMERON: They -- they will going to do it at the Bridgestone Arena, but we're actually in the Civic Center. This place, the capacity here is about 4,000. The Bridgestone Arena has 40 -- sort of 14,000 or so and they said that they could pack it, but they actually decided to keep it here. No (inaudible) from the presidential candidates.

We're going to -- we're still -- Lindsey Graham, the South Carolina senator who has been pretty much saying flat out that part of the reason that he is running for president or would run for president is to stop Rand Paul. He is on the stage now. We have a couple more speakers. Donald Trump will going to come out in a little while. He insists that he is running seriously for president this time, though he doesn't yet inform the exploratory committee. He swore to me that he was getting ready to make a speech in a few minutes, he will do that.

So, their -- this is Nashville, this is Tennessee, this is the south. Lots of second amendments supporters, lots of sportsmen, and gun rifle folks. A lot of women here, this is not a gun show where they are actually selling things. They are demonstrating, it's more like a home show or boat show where you can look at what's coming out next year. Lots of women here, lots of younger voters and the National Rifle association is by far and away the biggest and oldest, it is 144th anniversary of their convention here this happening and 70,000 people are coming from around the country for this convention. So (inaudible) the Republican Party, they are all expressing their support for it, whether they are here or not.

PERINO: OK. Julie, you have a question, (inaudible).

ROGINSKY: Hi, Carl. You said that Chris Christie and Rand Paul couldn't make it for whatever reason. I thought there weren't -- there is no room apparently for everybody to be invited so they weren't invited. Is that right? They are actually weren't invited? Or could they have not come?

CAMERON: I loved that you asked, Julie. I'm glad you asked Julie, because there's, there is a lot of controversy about this here. What some organizers said was they were actually requested by most of the candidates to send them invitations. Rand Paul didn't ask, because he planned his announcement around this week. And then, it is also true that Rand Paul has a real affinity for the National Association for Gun Rights. It's more of a fundraising operation for candidates who support gun rights, but Rand is kind of aligned with that.

And he didn't ask for an invitation, because he was going to be announcing but, he's got an A with the NRA, there's no rift here. He's not picking sides among pro -- second amendment groups and he is worth knowing that -- he is not here now, but next year, the convention is going to be in Louisville, where he announced and where all NRA folks who are telling me today, they truly expected to be in attendance.

PERINO: Let's go to Kimberly.

GUILFOYLE: Alright Carl, who is getting the best reception, most enthusiasm from the crowd there that they seem pretty fired up about -- kind of intense.

CAMERON: Well, I got to tell you, Rick -- yeah. Rick -- Rick Santorum was throwing out some pretty good gun blasts and the retort of the reclosed being heard. People here are getting the most standing ovations hands down and for Rick Santorum that is a huge deal. He has been a lifelong member of the NRA. His wife Karen, he brought about this all the time. He is a big gun fan and she was telling him what sort of pistol she would like and one thing she wanted for her coming birthdays and holidays is, more ammunition. So, he really went over pretty big here. He is trailing in the polls, so this is one of those real pillars of the Republican base where he scored well today.

PERINO: Alright, last question, Eric Bolling.

BOLLING: So Carl, just give us a quick one -- Walker, Jeb Bush or Rubio. Tell, tell us -- who really brought it?

CAMERON: Walker brought it. Jeb Bush was reading his remarks from prepared marks on the podium. He wasn't using much of the teleprompter. There was sort of a feel that he was kind of ripping through it. A number of people sort of remarked that it seemed rushed. Scott Walker was at ease, he wandered the stage, he talked about his work in Wisconsin to protect the second amendment, they all applied domestic security of the second amendment and the right to bear arms and then, turned it into a more broadened criticism that President Obama who they have been hammering this week on foreign policy. So it's not just protecting your castle and the right to bear arms, it's about protecting the world from Islamic terrorism and one there was one quick line that said, rather than trying to take weapons out of the hands of law abiding citizens, maybe he got to try to take them away from terrorists.

PERINO: Alright, Carl.

BOLLING: Thanks Carl.

PERINO: Thanks so much for joining us. Ahead, dozens of Fort Hood victims finally get the recognition they deserve. Years after the terror attack, the government initially labeled work place violence, but there is still a battle for some to receive combat benefits. That update, next.


GUILFOYLE: Today, 47 victims of the Fort Hood shooting in 2009 were finally awarded their long overdue military honors. They were held up, because the government initially designated the terror act, an act of work place violence. The 13 people killed and more than 30 wounded were awarded purple hearts for defense of freedom medals earlier. Sergeant Shawn Manning was one of them. He was shot six times in the attack and is surprisingly, still being denied benefits for his injuries.


SHAWN MANNING, RETIRED U.S. ARMY STAFF SERGEANT: I think it is almost unheard of for someone to receive the Purple Heart and not have their injuries classified as combat related, and the fact that you have an al- Qaeda inspired terrorist attack, that we were shot in and that is not combat related, I think it's just ridiculous.


GUILFOYLE: There is no way to spin this. It's horrible that this is still happening that they haven't done something about this, Dana. Why is it that these people that were injured, that were killed, that are getting us (inaudible) still can't the benefits that they are entitled to?

PERINO: It is shameful. And it is something I think that the White House should have called over to the military, if that really was where the hang- up was, and said, "Get this fixed tomorrow." And I think they would have done it.

GUILFOYLE: Yes. Bolling, here's a good example for the president to use the executive pen that he loves so much.

BOLLING: Uses it quite often. So two people injured in that attack have committed suicide waiting for some of this stuff.

But Sergeant Shawn Manning has to wait for his benefits, but Bradley Manning gets an on-the-house sex change operation. Right? I mean, how screwed up is the system where that's going on. These people all should have gotten benefits from the beginning. They mischaracterized the attack from the very beginning. Had they done it, likely everyone would be getting the benefit.

Get this guy his benefits already.

GUILFOYLE: It's terrible. While they're running for cover and getting pommeled with bullets ripping through their flesh, and someone's yelling "Allah Akbar," what is the confusion with labelling this, right from day one, a terrorist attack, giving them their benefits? I mean, this is awful behavior for the United States of America. And what is the president doing about it? Busy playing footsie with Iran, busy releasing people from Gitmo and doing terror swaps, letting five go for Bergdahl. Great.

GUTFELD: You know how they say justice is blind? And bureaucracy is blind, and it's deaf, and it's dumb, and it's obsessed about the narrow interpretation of the law. In this case, it has to be combat-related.

When you're at war with radical Islam and one of their warriors, a coward, comes in and shoots you, that's combat-related. I don't see how you can't see that. And you're right: the president, I don't understand this.

When you look at the specific issues in people that the president chooses to care about, whether it's athletes or it's pop stars or comments on every minor media kerfuffle. You'd think you could find five minutes to just deal with this.

This is -- you know, people start Kickstarter do really stupid things to buy a Twinkie. This is the perfect thing. Kickstarter is made for these benefits that the government won't get off their butts.

PERINO: You just said three words, though, that you have to understand, that the government, the bureaucrats are taking their direct lead...


PERINO: ... from the president of the United States. You said we are at a war with radical Islam. That is not how they characterize it at the White House. You cannot say war. You cannot say radical, and you can't say Islam.


GUTFELD: Or say sorry.

GUILFOYLE: ... he's concerned about words that Christians use that he finds offensive and actions that they engage in. He's all the way back.

ROGINSKY: I have a personal story about this. So I actually was dating a JAG officer at the time who was...


ROGINSKY: Bragger, right. He was great and still is, involved in the Fort Hood shooting. I flew down there the day after the shooting happened, because he was actually in the crossfire. I saw his clothes; they were covered in blood. This was not workplace violence.


ROGINSKY: And I want to just say -- I mean, this was a horrible situation. And if you were down there, as so many people were and you saw the blood- soaked clothes that these people were covered in. The people that saved, the people that deserve these Purple Hearts saved a lot more lives than we can count. They deserve every single...

PERINO: Should not even be a question.

ROGINSKY: Should not even be a question. They deserve it. This was not workplace violence. This was absolutely a combat situation. The combat just happened to be on our soil and not abroad.

GUILFOYLE: Right. And the commander in chief has opportunity here.

GUTFELD: It's bureaucracy. It's disgusting. It's like somebody -- if you can do something about it, then you do it. It just -- this makes me ill.

I didn't even know about those suicides.

GUILFOYLE: It's terrible. I mean, this is an opportunity for the commander in chief that's also on his business card to, like, step up and do something and rectify the situation. It won't even take, like, three minutes of your time, Mr. President.

What's it like to be the most under-dressed person sitting at a table with the president of the United States? Well, you're about to find out from the man in the polo shirt himself. It's coming up next in "The Fastest Seven."


BOLLING: Welcome back. Time for...



GRAPHIC: The Fastest 7


BOLLING: ... "The Fastest Seven Minutes on Television." Three captivating stories, seven concise minutes, one convivial host.

First up, Sandra Bullock has a crazy stalker, who's just been ordered to stand trial after breaking into her home last year. Yesterday in court they played the 911 call she made that day while she was cowering in a closet. Listen.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: 911 Emergency Operator 214. What are you reporting?

SANDRA BULLOCK, ACTRESS: Yes, I'm in -- Someone broken into my house. I'm hiding in the closet.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: They're in the house now?

BULLOCK: Yes, they are. I saw them walk under the attic.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: A man or a woman?

BULLOCK: I think it was a man. I'm locked in my closet. I have a safe door in my bedroom, and I've locked it. And I'm locked in the closet right now.


BOLLING: Joshua James Corbett has pleaded not guilty to all the charges, K.G. That ain't going to cut it, though, is it?

GUILFOYLE: No, it's not going to cut it. In fact, my friends from L.A. D.A.'s office from the stalker unit are prosecuting this case. They're doing a great job. So, you know, this is a real problem for a lot of celebrities, high-profile people, especially out in the Los Angeles area. You can't imagine the case volume that they have coming through there. And thing about it. If you're in your house and somebody who's been stalking you, inappropriately sending messages...

GUTFELD: I apologized for it, Kimberly.

GUILFOYLE: Well, we still haven't gotten past it.


BOLLING: Apparently, they found guns in his -- a machine gun, automatic machine gun -- automatic or semi-automatic, whatever, in his home.

GUTFELD: Yes. He's a freak. But I just always have to go back. I don't like the idea of 911 calls being released, because it's so private. Like, if you're terrified, and she's terrified, it's -- I don't want to hear that.

And I think that public 911 calls make it less likely for some people to make 911 calls. For example, if I am in a dangerous but embarrassing situation -- let's say I fell on something. I'm not going to call 911, because TMZ is going to be like "Greg Gutfeld, here's his 911 call."

But what if it was a friend and your friend overdoses or your friend gets stabbed? You don't want to be on the 911 call, because you know it's going to be everywhere. Did I spit on you?


GUTFELD: No, I'm sorry. But you know what I mean? Don't you think that maybe this is a private thing, that for the court but...?

ROGINSKY: Can I go back to something? What you would be falling on? What was that something that you'd be falling on?

GUTFELD: I'd be falling on some steps.

ROGINSKY: That is embarrassing. That is embarrassing.

GUTFELD: I'm very clumsy.

BOLLING: Fell on something.


BOLLING: Dana, hiding in the closet.

PERINO: Well, it's -- I can see your point, but I also think that she is brave. Well, she -- of course, she is brave. She was in the closet. She was calling; she was trying to protect herself. But it actually could also have the other effect, which is to encourage people to call or to know how to be safe within their homes if they are the victim of...

BOLLING: Good point. Prepare in advance.

OK. If you had the opportunity to sit in a meeting with President Obama, what would you wear? This guy was selected to do just that from a crowd, but check out what he was wearing at the time. A little awkward. Here's that guy explaining it himself, on "FOX & Friends" earlier.


LANCE FUTCH, SURPRISED TO SEE PRESIDENT OBAMA AT MEETING: The first thing to go through my mind was "I am definitely most underdressed person in this room."

I was extremely nervous. I hadn't realized I would be sitting there with the president and the senator. Luckily, they asked other people questions first, so it gave me a couple of seconds to calm my nerves and actually put together what I wanted to speak about.

My mother definitely had a conversation with me afterwards when the picture came out. She was like, "You were in a white polo. The pictures got you with your elbows on the table." I definitely -- she had a nice talk with me.


BOLLING: Julie, you point out something very important.

ROGINSKY: Did he just come from the interview straight to "FOX & Friends"? He's still wearing that same white polo.

Good for him. You know what? You don't have to dress up to meet the president. I think it's OK. I think it's fine. You know what? You want to see what real Americans wear, that's what real Americans wear. Why not have it?

GUTFELD: You know, he worked for...

ROGINSKY: "FOX & Friends" is a different story. You might want to put on a tie. But that's, you know.

GUTFELD: That's true.

He works for a solar energy company. So that's their version of a power suit. That's so Lance, though.

I mean, he depressed me. You look at the meeting. Everybody looks so miserable and bored. This reminded me of when we went to lunch with the boss, and I wore that pink sweater, because I didn't know the boss was going to be there. I wore a pink sweater with an alien face on it, and I sat down. And the boss looked at me and was like, "I hired this guy?"

GUILFOYLE: ... than that. I don't know.

PERINO: Did your mom have a talk with you?

GUTFELD: No, she didn't have.

BOLLING: Is that the one where Bob choked on the...

GUTFELD: Yes. Thank God you saved Bob, because they forgot about the sweater.

GUILFOYLE: It was. It was a distraction. Should have passed some shrimp around the table.

The best part is the name card that says "President Obama" that he's, like, sitting in front of. It's so funny.

GUTFELD: I know.

BOLLING: He also, Dana, he said his mom was upset that he had his elbows on the table.

PERINO: Right. I'll sit back. I do that a lot.

I think being under dressed is a terrible feeling, actually. If you are not dressed for an occasion where you're supposed to be, it will help -- it will decrease your confidence. So...

GUILFOYLE: Isn't it better to be overdressed than under dressed? I would rather err on that side.


BOLLING: Look at this. This is interesting. Check out this North Carolina mom with six boys, finding out her seventh baby is going to be a girl. Cher Lehrer's (ph) gender reveal cake reaction is priceless.




BOLLING: The gender reveal. Apparently, the color of the cake inside is either red or blue.

GUTFELD: We are developing way, way too many rituals for stuff when we can just talk. WE should do this for other things, you know. "Doctor, do I have cancer?" "Well, cut into the cake."

You are in court. Is the defendant guilty? Let's cut into the cake. It's just crazy. You don't need a cake.

BOLLING: By the way, the Lehrer (ph) family is apparently big fans.

ROGINSKY: I hope you feel bad. These poor people know how lame you think they are. GUTFELD: Let them eat cake.

PERINO: It will be great. I'm thinking she'll be the most protected and spoiled little sister in America.

GUILFOYLE: I get super excited. It looked like delicious cake, too.

ROGINSKY: I just hope she's OK, because I'm not sure you're supposed to get that excited when you're pregnant. You're not supposed to fall; you're not supposed to go into labor.

GUILFOYLE: Well, congratulations from "The Five," right? Very exciting.

BOLLING: Congratulations from all of us.

GUTFELD: Seven kids.



BOLLING: Six boys and a girl.

All right. Ahead, it's the last weekend before April 15. If you've been procrastinating on doing your taxes, we have a few tips ahead that could help you out possibly. Next.


ROGINSKY: This weekend is going to be a busy one for a lot of Americans who haven't filed their taxes yet. The deadline is on Wednesday, and I become a Republican for one day. (ph) has some tips on what to do if you can't finish on time. You can file for an extension that will give you another six months to finish. Just get the paperwork in by April 15, and if you owe IRS money you don't have to pay up, even with an extension.

BOLLING: You do.

ROGINSKY: You do have to pay. But if you're owed money back you won't be penalized if you don't file. You just won't get your refund until you do.

So the question is, Greg, have you done your taxes yet? Because...


ROGINSKY: Congratulations. That's very early.

GUTFELD: I filed them, and I will say that the best tip that I have when you pay your taxes is alcohol. Alcohol was invented for doing your taxes. It's the only thing that numbs the pain when you write that check, is a big glass of scotch.

ROGINSKY: So you're not getting a refund is what you're telling me?

GUTFELD: I haven't -- I don't think I've gotten a refund in ages. I don't even know what a refund looks like. But it's true. It makes everyone that -- it makes everyone a right-wing jerk, taxes.

ROGINSKY: It does. It does. I become a huge member of the Tea Party for about five days, starting...

BOLLING: Why do you go back?

ROGINSKY: Because I forget. Because I forget. Then I'm, like, it's all good.

GUTFELD: You can't be liberals when it matters. Liberals can only be liberals when it's fun. But when it's serious, you've got to be a conservative!

ROGINSKY: No, Greg. It's just that I don't mind paying a little extra to help other people unlike you, because you're very selfish.

GUTFELD: I know. I want everybody to die and starve and live on the street, even though I pay -- I don't even know what I pay. Can't even...

BOLLING: Fifty-three percent. (UNINTELLIGIBLE) sales tax.

ROGINSKY: That is because you're loaded.

GUTFELD: I'm loaded, but a different reason.

GUILFOYLE: Capital gains. And then there's inheritance tax. It's a nightmare. Thanks for that call before the show, Jay, that ruined my life.

ROGINSKY: All right.

GUTFELD: Your accountant?

ROGINSKY: You were complaining, and you're right. You're saying that when you...

PERINO: My husband and I are self-employed.


PERINO: So we have to pay quarterly, but it's actually turned into doing it monthly. Because you have to spend so much time and money to even prepare your own information to send to the tax preparer.

GUTFELD: Is Jasper a write-off?

PERINO: No. He's not a write-off, and he -- if someone were to get in the Oval Office and figure that out, that would be great. Dogs are people, too. Kidding.

But it is entirely too complicated. And when you are -- when you are on Capitol Hill and you have these nice conversations about a flat tax or retail sales tax. We've been having them for four decades. And it would be great if somebody were to actually run on it. I think Hillary Clinton could try to -- she could kind of catch fire if she were to really come out for true tax reform. But she won't.

ROGINSKY: Well, I think a flat tax she would consider to be regressive.

But Eric...


ROGINSKY: ... you are, obviously, as a man of insane means much like Greg Gutfeld.

GUTFELD: Where do you get this?

ROGINSKY: Because you said you're paying a tremendous amount of taxes. Only really, really...

GUTFELD: People who work hard for a living pay a lot of taxes.

BOLLING: We pay a huge percentage of our income.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, you do. Which I would like to reinvest, in a charitable way.

ROGINSKY: So would you like to get rid of the income tax and replace it with what? With what?

BOLLING: Completely. With the fair tax.

ROGINSKY: The fair tax?

BOLLING: I love the fair tax.


GUILFOYLE: And then he would even settle for a flat tax. But he is the biggest advocate of a fair tax.

BOLLING: Can I tell you one thing, though, that really kind of ticks me off? My accountants had to go to New Jersey Department of Taxation four times already this year just to talk to somebody. Can't get anyone on the phone. And I'm convinced it's because employer says "Fox news corporation."

Roginsky: Right. I think it's because Chris Christie is your governor.

"One More Thing" is up next.


GUTFELD: ... somebody. Time for "One More Thing." I'm going to kick it off. Megyn Kelly gets results -- I'll say that -- for her segment about this teacher that forced her third graders to write get-well letters to a convicted cop killer, Mumia whatever his name is. Let's run something from that. Shall we?


GUTFELD: He didn't feel well, and they wanted to raise his spirits, but he gave me this great idea. With get-well cards, why don't we have get-sick cards? Seriously. Because this guy deserves a get-sick card. I'm not saying I hope you die, but "I hope you get diarrhea. Love Greg."


GUTFELD: Anyway, results: administrators today suspended New Jersey elementary school teacher who goaded her third-grade students into writing get-well cards to convicted cop killer Mumia al-Jamal [SIC]. Her name was Marilyn Zuniga.

BOLLING: With pay.

GUTFELD: Oh, with pay? Oh, you just killed it.

PERINO: Send her a get-sick card.


BOLLING: Get diarrhea card.

GUTFELD: All right. D.P. What does "D" stand for anyway?

PERINO: I'm just saying, that might be the first time that word has ever been used on Megyn Kelly's show.

GUTFELD: I know. That's true.

PERINO: I mean, you're just breaking ground everywhere you go.


PERINO: OK. So if you're in the airport or walking down the street or if you get "Glamour" magazine, I have a little excerpt in there that's going to be hitting news stands on April 14 and it's about my new book. It's called "And the Good News Is." And this particular excerpt is about the mentoring advice that is in the book, and it includes things like we talked about earlier: you -- for example, dressing for the job you want, not the job that you have.

GUTFELD: That's a life-sized photo. Right?

PERINO: It was a life-sized photo. It was really great -- it was really great of them to accommodate my small...

GUTFELD: What's the magazine called?

PERINO: "Glamour."


PERINO: "Glamour." And there's going to be an interview and things like that if you go to

GUTFELD: All right. Eric.

BOLLING: OK. So very quickly, Bill O'Reilly tonight, make sure you watch it or DVR it.

But it's Friday, time for...



GRAPHIC: Fool of the Week


BOLLING: OK, so Dzhokhar Tsarnaev's mother, Zubeidat, listen to what she had to say. She says, "The U.S. will pay for my sons and the sons of Islam permanently. My sons are innocent. How can a mother feel whose son is in the claws of a predator preparing to tear him to pieces like meat?"

So my point is, for blaming the U.S., blaming the victims, Mrs. Tsarnaev, you have earned yourself "Fool of the Week."

PERINO: And other things.


GUTFELD: All right, K.G.

GUILFOYLE: OK. So I have a great one for you. Anybody love the Blue Angels here at the table?


GUILFOYLE: Fantastic. Well, U.S. Marine Corps Captain Katie Higgins is now going to be named to the Blue Angels. She's going to be flying their aircraft called Fat Albert, a C-130, which is fantastic.. First woman to be able to do that and be with this team. So eight months out of the year, they thrill the crowds. I think they've performed and flown for about 500 million people have seen the Blue Angels. I used to see them in San Francisco and go on the roof top and watch them.

GUTFELD: That was every year we used to do that, Kimberly.

GUILFOYLE: Not together, really.

GUTFELD: Well, you didn't know I was there.

GUILFOYLE: Anyway, I loved it, with the shadow behind me, the short shadow.

So I'm excited for her. I think it's great. And I look forward to looking up in the sky and seeing her fly someday.

GUTFELD: I do, too.

GUILFOYLE: Without Greg.

ROGINSKY: Kimberly is going to the safe room with Sandra Bullock.

GUILFOYLE: Immediately after the show.

GUTFELD: I dress as a fern. Nobody notices me. Julie.

ROGINSKY: So people talk about how they don't want focus group politicians, how they want politicians to be authentic. Check out this picture of our vice president, Joe Biden. He stole the pacifier out of Michael Bloomberg's grandson's mouth and put it in his own. And that, my friends, is an authentic politician.


ROGINSKY: Maybe not hygienic.

GUILFOYLE: Can't he just kiss the baby?

ROGINSKY: Maybe not something that the mother would want done with my child. But nevertheless, Joe Biden.

GUILFOYLE: You don't even do -- you never did that with your son, right?

ROGINSKY: No. He didn't like pacifiers.

GUILFOYLE: No, but I mean, put it in your mouth?

BOLLING: He didn't put it back in the baby's mouth, did he?

GUILFOYLE: No one knows.

ROGINSKY: No, no. No, I think they washed it.

This is why I love Joe Biden. He's totally non-focus grouped, non- airbrushed. This is a...

GUTFELD: He truly sucks.

ROGINSKY: What you see is what you get. I love -- don't you go negative on my Joe Biden.

GUILFOYLE: And his midnight swimming naked, that I like.

GUTFELD: You never told me that, Kimberly.

All right. Have a great weekend. "Special Report" is up next.

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