This is a rush transcript from "The Five," April 1, 2015. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: The Democrats have a major corruption problem brewing on multiple fronts and at the highest levels of the party, legal, political and moral. We're the only ones connecting these dots. Three examples, legal first, minutes ago Democrat Senator Bob Menendez was indicted on corruption charges. He's accused of conspiracy, violating the travel act, bribery and fraud, but a few weeks ago, the Democrat claimed he did nothing wrong.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SEN. ROBERT MENENDEZ, D-N.J.: I have always conducted myself appropriately and in accordance with the law, and I am not going anywhere.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: Now political, the Hillary e-mail scandal is growing. James Carville has worked for the Clintons forever. Now, he's cleaning up her mess.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JAMES CARVILLE, POLITICAL COMMENTATOR: I think that what she did was totally legal. The committee asked her, she gave a press conference, I'm sure she's going to answer this again, just like every other quote, Clinton scandal that we've been through. At the end of the day, I predict this whole thing is going to amount to deadly squat.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: And now more, get ready for your head to explode. Here's Democrat Leader Harry Reid's wild explanation about why he lied about Mitt Romney's not paying taxes. That lie delivered from the Senate floor. So, does Mr. Reid have any remorse?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DANA BASH, CNN CHIEF CONGRESSIONAL CORRESPONDENT: So no regrets about Mitt Romney, about the Koch brothers. Some people have even called it McCarthyite (ph).
SEN. HARRY REID, D-NEV.: Well, they can call it whatever they want. Romney didn't win, did he?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: Well, lots of layers to the onion, the Dems -- the dirty Dems. K.G., start with Menendez first, this is the Breaking News.
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Right. So this is a pretty big story. This is significant, because just even on one of the bribery charges that he's been indicted on, he's looking at 15 years potentially, just one charge alone. There's multiple count. He's got charged with conspiracy, violating the travel act, eight counts of bribery, three counts of honest services, fraud and one count of making a false statement. He got hit really heavy by the grand jury today. So, I don't know how this guy will going to be able to avoid some jail time, because he's got to go down on at least one of those things.
BOLLING: Juan, some people are saying -- I mean, with all those charges in those party (ph) ridiculous. Some people are saying because he pushed back on the Iran nuke deal.
JUAN WILLIAMS, CO-HOST: No. Some think this is political. I think it's the public integrity division of justice and the interesting part about this is whether or not he can, in fact, save himself, because Congress people, senators and congressmen are protected by what they call the speech and debate clause which says, you know, I'm free to say and do anything I like within terms of my congressional affairs. And he's charged basically with helping a friend who was, you know, having trouble with fraud on Medicare payments.
BOLLING: That's one of the -- among, among other things.
WILLIAMS: That and -- well, basically, that's it and it is something in the Dominican republic about a shipping deal the United States, whether or not they should approve it. So it again, the same guy by the way, could get some of that deal.
BOLLING: And there are more layers to that.
WILLIAMS: But those are the big things.
BOLLING: All right. Dana, you want to stay on Menendez? Or you just want to point out?
DENA PERINO, CO-HOST: Yeah, I'd just point out that so, the Public Integrity Unit of the Justice Department, they're usually made up of career official that doesn't mean they don't have political leanings one way or the other, but they are supposed to be straight up civil servants. They did not have a great track record. If you recall the Senator Stevens case, that took place several years ago, was basically full of holes. They ruined him. And it was a disgrace at the Justice Department. This is the same unit that is bringing the charges against Menendez. And so it is possible that their lawyers, part of their defense, will try to look for any sort of problems with the case that would be similar to that. That was an unfortunate situation with Senator Stevens.
BOLLING: Greg, Menendez, Reid, Hillary Clinton, what's going on with the Dems?
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Well, to me, what qualifies as a scandal these days for a Democrat, because Menendez, there's been talk about this for a long time. So you have to wonder, when does the press care about a scandal? It seems to me when it comes to the Democrats, they bring the scandal. The only time the scandal happens is when they walk into it, because no one actually looks for it. Like Anthony Weiner, no journalist found that. He was his own Woodward and Bernstein, by continually sending out photos of whatever, he caught himself. None of these guys have been -- were exposed by journalists. To qualify as a scandal for a Democrat among the press, what does it take? If they drove -- but Democrat drove a bus off a cliff filled with nuns and orphans, the press would call it a field trip.
BOLLING: You know Breitbart was good at that though.
BOLLING: Once -- that thread, he will keep pulling out that thread. Keep pulling once awhile he finds --
PERINO: And also, if I can just comment on that because, when the -- when minority get to that, but when Reid said that about Mitt Romney, here at fox news, we cried foul and then it was the Fox News cooties problem that all.
PERINO: Fox thinks it's a problem, nobody else should cover it.
GUTFELD: Yeah, it was amazing. We were the only and nobody listened.
PERINO: Even now.
PERINO: Because it was us. And none of the press chased him. By the way, Harry Reid is the political equivalent of a hockey goon. They send him out to destroy people, and he's proud of it. He's like a hockey goon. And he's such a creep. But -- I mean, it was amazing. That moment of honesty that we got from him, he said yes, I have the character of cat dander, and he besmirched a guy, he besmirched the guy calling the tax dodge (ph). Mitt Romney, who gives so much money to charity, this guy, this guy --
GUILFOYLE: It's unbelievable.
GUTFELD: Reid is unbelievable. I almost admire it.
GUILFOYLE: There really is.
BOLLING: Can I post on that?
GUILFOYLE: You know what? I'm glad that he was honest. We complain.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, they're lying, they should tell the truth. He told the truth.
GUILFOYLE: He was transparent. That was the only part of this whole administration that was. When he's like, oh, yeah, we did him in.
BOLLING: We did it because we want him win for 2012.
GUILFOYLE: OK. We put the knife and guess what? We won and Romney didn't. There you go.
BOLLING: Can you talk to me for a second about why Reid should be allowed to say -- to utter a boldface lie that he clearly knew about, because he's protected speech on the Senate floor?
GUILFOYLE: Yeah. That, that to me I think is really reprehensible, because in a courtroom, defense attorneys say a lot of stuff, but there has to be a basis of truth or fact behind it, otherwise, you can objections to the court. Here, they're allowed to say anything. So they're allowed to lie to the taxpayers, the people that are paying their salary, say, do anything to win or to drive their ideology home or get the votes. That's what we saw here. But now, guess what? He's probably just going to let it all fly, because he's out of a job, because he's retiring.
BOLLING: And Juan.
GUTFELD: That's break though.
GUILFOYLE: It has that.
BOLLING: The White House pushed back saying, we're not going to comment on something that happened three years ago.
WILLIAMS: I don't blame them. What's to say?
BOLLING: How about, we don't condone that kind of activity, those --
WILLIAMS: Hey, look. This is politics. This goes on -- you know, the funny thing about this conversation is --
PERINO: I know. There's a difference between politics and lying.
WILLIAMS: This goes on all -- this goes on all the time in Washington and people say --
PERINO: You don't think there's a difference?
GUTFELD: That's accidental (ph).
WILLIAMS: No, and I don't think, by the way --
PERINO: You don't think there's a difference between politics and lying?
WILLIAMS: No. There is no lying.
PERINO: You don't think there's a difference?
WILLIAMS: I think that he challenged.
PERINO: He said it.
WILLIAMS: He challenged Mitt Romney. Mitt Romney responded. Mitt Romney was found to be telling the truth.
PERINO: You know that's what I said. Juan, I can't believe you murdered that person this morning.
WILLIAMS: That's, that's -- you know, beat your wife --
PERINO: And then you'd have --
WILLIAMS: No, no, no.
PERINO: That's ridiculous.
WILLIAMS: But this was different, because of the relationship between Reid, Romney, you know, that was a whole different thing. That's why he was thought to have some special knowledge and it was wrong.
PERINO: No, he said --
WILLIAMS: But let me just say, this is a one-sided conversation, you guys don't talk about, oh, Republican malfeasance and corruption. How about that? I guess so --
GUTFELD: You know 99 percent of the media are doing that.
WILLIAMS: No, no, no. Because in fact, that to your point, what about The New York Times breaking the Hillary Clinton story? Did -- the left-wing New York Times.
GUTFELD: Yeah, but look --
WILLIAMS: So nobody --
GUTFELD: But that they -- they're doing that so --
PERINO: They got her out of the Benghazi hearing, because Trey Gowdy --
GUILFOYLE: Trey Gowdy bird (ph). Yeah, he's the one --
WILLIAMS: No, no, New York Times (inaudible) --
PERINO: They're the ones who are doing the investigation.
GUILFOYLE: I know. But Trey Gowdy is the one that's been on top of this, because he's the one that unraveled everything about Benghazi.
WILLIAMS: That's fine, I'm just saying --
GUILFOYLE: Now he's the one holding her, just the fire (ph) of it. Testify for me first.
WILLIAMS: I'm just saying that left-wing media has been all over Hillary Clinton on this. We could talk about Bob McDonnell going to jail for gifts. We could talk about Aaron Schock. We could talk about Mike Grimm, good Republicans.
BOLLING: I love you brother but you know, we're not talking -- it's not media. It's these three Democrats who stepped in it. It's not a media problem.
WILLIAMS: That's what I say. I think it's a political problem. We have politicians and just like you're saying about Harry Reid.
BOLLING: If the media is saying -- I don't know, somehow mistreating -- mistreating the situation. These guys, these guys are done in. Menendez indicted Harry Reid, admitting he lied to win an election. Hillary Clinton, wait until we find out what Hillary quits on the other end of some of those e-mails from Hillary Clinton.
WILLIAMS: That's not --
BOLLING: Just wait until we get that.
WILLIAMS: You think that won the election for Obama? Oh, great.
PERINO: No, and actually, that's an interesting point. I think that they must have been much more worried about Mitt Romney than they let on because, they -- with the wink and a nod, they allowed Harry Reid to make such a claim on the Senate floor, because I think they were more worried about Romney than they would --
GUILFOYLE: They sure were.
BOLLING: On two occasions, he did that. On two separate occasions he claimed that Mitt Romney didn't pay taxes. On one occasion he said he didn't pay -- Romney didn't pay taxes for 12 years.
GUILFOYLE: And boldface lies. I think if people make statements like that, especially that are injurious and damaging to a reputation, they should be sued and thrown out of the Senate.
BOLLING: Is it -- is it why.
WILLIAMS: The end of talk radio.
BOLLING: They hate politicians?
GUTFELD: Well, there are too many reasons why people hate politicians.
BOLLING: One of them?
GUTFELD: Yeah. It's one of them. No -- I think what's -- to Juan's point, I got to go back, because I didn't get a chance to respond. The New York Times went after Hillary, because they're doing it now to get it over with, so they appear to be objective. When they get into whoever's camp, which will be the left camp in -- what? 8 months, 12 months, 14 months, so they're going after Hillary now, they're vetting her now, so they --
GUILFOYLE: Check the box.
GUTFELD: They're checking the box. And maybe it's because they do want a more left candidate than her.
BOLLING: I hope that --
PERINO: I think as they can say, then they can say --
GUTFELD: Look --
PERINO: That was like, two years ago, dude.
GUTFELD: Yeah, exactly. That's so over. We covered that.
BOLLING: Called it veto, veto? Is that --
BOLLING: Peter. But I hope there's another Andrew Breitbart out there looking, because that string is hanging -- that's string is hanging on these e-mails.
GUILFOYLE: I know.
BOLLING: There's going to be a tieback to the Clinton's foundation.
GUILFOYLE: Trey Gowdy is going to do it.
BOLLING: I just believe it's going to happen. Maybe Trey Gowdy is out there.
GUILFOYLE: I'm all over it.
BOLLING: Maybe a media figure. All right, let's talk about Democrat messaging. Take a listen to this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: My mama said, whenever you go to somebody's house you have to give them something. Don't come empty-handed.
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: All right.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: So, I have green lipstick. One for your --
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Your first wife -- I mean --
OBAMA: My first wife?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I mean --
OBAMA: Do you know something I don't?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh.
OABMA: I'm all right with the president wearing jeans. I'm not all right with the president wearing those jeans.
(LAUGHTER) UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Can I just say something?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: This is mean and I don't think there's anything wrong with the jeans you wear.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: So far this year President Obama sat down for interviews with three YouTube stars, Vox, BuzzFeed, Huffington Post, VICE News and Jimmy Kimmel yet, he's not granted interviews to Fox News, The Washington Post, New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Associated Press, or USA Today. We said for a long time, right here, President Obama is more concerned with being hip and cool, rather than having America a superpower and a leader in global positioning. Greg, well you've said that as well.
GUTFELD: Yeah, President Obama -- you shouldn't blame him for this, because it's actually entertaining. And Republicans should probably try to do this, although they won't be afforded the same amount of comfort and space. However, the choice he's making is very simple. New media means neophytes, impressionable kids and entertainers who don't know anything about politics and who would never ask him a single tough question. It would be like having a Victoria's Secret model interviewed by Bill Clinton. But nobody's going to ask him the tough questions.
GUILFOYLE: Oh my, gosh.
GUTFELD: Justin Bieber interviewed by a 10-year-old girl.
GUTFELD: Well, you wouldn't be able to concentrate.
GUTFELD: Yeah. That's one -- he's never going to get a tough question from an entertainer.
BOLLING: How about it, Juan? What about mixing in Fox News or any -- how about this -- Associated Press?
WILLIAMS: Look, I've just -- I think he should do those, you know, media outlets, but the fact is, they're trying to reach unconventional audiences, people who don't pay attention to the news. He was trying to do it in one specific instance because he's trying to boost signups for his healthcare.gov, and it worked. These things, you know, between two potted plants so whatever, it reaches young people. Farms, ferns.
PERINO: Fern, ferns.
WILLIAMS: Ferns, whatever it was.
GUTFELD: That was Dan Quayle's lawyer.
WILLIAMS: Yeah, or this thing with this woman with the green lipstick who's bathing in Froot Loops. You know it's ridiculous. At the same time, it's not me or you they're trying to reach. I mean, we don't -- we read the papers. They don't read the papers.
GUTFELD: It hurts my feelings, Juan.
WILLIAMS: I know it hurts my heart.
PERINO: I think that is -- there are some consequences to not doing some of the traditional media, and I think you can see that in his approval ratings. So, with the young people, he's doing fairly well. But overall, with older people, married people, people that are going to be reliable voters, his approval rating is round the 40s. Maybe it can't get any better, but he could try. I think he's trying to be persuasive. It is very difficult for a Democrat to try to win a third term after -- well, for either party. If your president has been a Republican or Democrat, but two terms, it's hard, then, for that same party to win a third term. Usually, that president needs to be around 55 percent approval. That's how it was in 1989 with Reagan and then Bush. That's the only time it's happened since World War II. I think if President Obama actually was willing to be serious for half a moment, and to talk to some of these news outlets, he might be able to see his approval ratings rise, and he might not. To me, it is a risk worth taking, because he's got the young people. He doesn't need them.
GUTFELD: But the point is he can't talk about Iran with the young people. So he can't do the serious thing. He can't talk to Jimmy Kimmel. He can't do between two ferns on Iran. He should be articulating his vision --
GUTFELD: About what we're doing with Iran to the American people. These are not the avenues.
GUILFOYLE: But I also think that --
GUTFELD: Young people don't care.
GUILFOYLE: President of the United States, he should make himself available to all the media outlets to not look like he's playing favorites or just courting the people with the same kind of political ideology. There's no courage enough.
PERINO: But he said he did that in a press conference. He said that, well, look, we've had press conferences, I'm taking questions from the press, and then he had two off-the-record meetings with columnists in which somebody at this table was actually got to be there. But there again.
GUTFELD: It was great.
PERINO: Off the record, so I --
GUILFOYLE: I can see the influence.
PERINO: A little more risk on his part.
WILLIAMS: But let me say that -- you know --
GUILFOYLE: Yeah, but why not? It doesn't seem very courageous is the point. If you're the president, what have you got to hide? I mean, if you're playing for our team, you want best -- what's best for this country --
WILLIAMS: But let me just say --
BOLLING: Hold on for seconds --
GUILFOYLE: Come here and talk to us about the economy and about foreign policy and about your viewpoints. Persuade us.
BOLLING: How about an ultimate idea?
BOLLING: It's just more fun to do those instead of the Fox News.
WILLIAMS: Well, let me just say --
GUILFOYLE: We have fun, nice people here.
WILLIAMS: Yes, we do. I agree with you.
GUILFOYLE: I mean -- just fair.
WILLIAMS: Yeah, we have sweethearts. We have lovely people. I think I would do if I --
WILLIAMS: If I was president for a day, I would say, oh, Greg, please come over. Greg, please?
GUTFELD: You know, Obama, he never did Redeye.
WILLIAMS: He never did Redeye (inaudible) --
(CROSSTALK) WILLIAMS: I know. I said to them, I said to them --
BOLLING: That's his downfall.
GUTFELD: That is.
WILLIAMS: To Redeye.
GUTFELD: I have so many. I had Rand Paul.
WILLIAMS: Yeah, O'Reilly.
GUTFELD: I have Rand Paul --
WILLIAMS: But let me just say --
GUTFELD: I have Rand Paul and Dennis Kucinich.
WILLIAMS: I -- I covered so, this will --
GUILFOYLE: We paid Dennis.
PERINO: There and the other guy.
WILLIAMS: This will reveal how old I am. But I actually covered Ronald Reagan.
WILLIAMS: So Ronald Reagan would do things like, oh, I'm not talking to you Washington Post, me and look can people like that.
WILLIAMS: Oh, well, I am going to talk to the local anchor from Des M Moines, right?
WILLIAMS: And they're not, they're not prepared. So what's the difference - -
PERINO: That's not necessarily the case. Actually, when President Obama has done local interviews, that's when he's actually gotten the most trips.
WILLIAMS: Yeah, but I'm saying that's the strategy that these guys use. So Dan Pfeiffer who was the president's top communication adviser said to me.
BOLLING: All right.
WILLIAMS: That's their model right now. They're moving away from conventional mainstream media.
PERINO: Well, it's going very well.
BOLLING: We've got to go. They're yelling. I swear they're yelling. All right, the Iranian nuke talks are still in overtime. Is it time for the west to walk? Next.
GUILFOYLE: I like that.
PERINO: Today is April 1st, but you'd think it was Groundhog's Day. Negotiations over Iran's nuclear program have stretched into another day. The State Department says Secretary Kerry will remain in Switzerland until at least tomorrow morning as progress is being made, but no agreement yet. Senator Tom Cotton thinks it's time for America to just walk away.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SEN. TOM COTTON, R-ARK.: We were in a position of strength, because of the sanctions that Congress had imposed on Iran, and if the world is following, but the president lifted those sanctions just to bring Iran to the negotiating table, and we've continually given away the best cards we hold. The best approach would be to walk away now, to reinstitute those suspended sanctions, and then to impose new sanctions, to get back to a position of strength so we can negotiate a better deal.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: The prime minister of Israel is calling on the six world powers to insist on a better deal, after an Iranian general vowed to wipe his country off the map just yesterday.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BENJAMIN NETANYAHU, ISRAEL PRIME MINISTER: Yesterday an Iranian general brazenly declares, and I quote, "Israel destruction is none negotiable, get back to a position of strength so we can negotiate a better deal. But evidently, given the Iran's murderous regime, a clear path to the bomb is negotiable." This is unconscionable. The concessions offered to Iran in Lausanne would ensure a bad deal that would endanger Israel, the Middle East, and the peace of the world.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: So there you have it. Greg, I think that President Obama should be reassured that there is honor in walking away. But there's no shame in walking away. He would be supported.
GUTFELD: He's not going to walk away, because his ego requires one foreign policy accomplishment, because he slips so far, he slips the world looking like Panama City after spring break. This is about his legacy, we can agree. He's not happy being the first black president with a government program named after himself. He wants something else. What if the situation reversed? What if Iran where in a position of strength the way we are in America was it there a weak position? We wouldn't be having this conversation because we'd already be dead. Iran would have already wiped us off the map. So we need to define what a deal is. A deal is not a compromise between two adversaries' desires. It's a compromise between two countries or two nations or two beliefs. But you don't -- you're not making a decision about what two things your adversary wants, which is what we're doing right now. It's completely wrong.
PERINO: And they see it very differently. Here is the Iranian Foreign Minister Zarif, yesterday.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MOHAMMAD JAVAD ZARIF, IRANIAN FOREIGN MINISTER: Iran has shown its readiness to engage with dignity, and it is time for our negotiating partners to seize the moment and use this opportunity which may not be repeated.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: Eric, you know obviously in Iran, they have a state-run media organization. So what - they are -- the kind of information that they are going to give to their people is going to be whitewashed a little bit. But, in some ways, they're actually -- they're actually almost accurate in their description in saying, we've been honest negotiators. They basically have said oh, yeah, we're not going to do any of the things that we said before and the United States is saying OK.
BOLLING: The basic negotiation 101, it's a battle. You want the other side to be weaker than you. So going into a battle, you don't fortify their side, which is what President Obama did. He lifted some of the sanctions. He had some of the oil sanctions still in place, but he left -- lifted some of the banking sanctions that were in place, some of the sanctions on top leaders of Iran. He lifted that so it gave them more strength to bring to the bargaining table. That was foolish. President Obama, if want you to play poker, when you're done with the White House, come to my house. What we needed to do is Tom Cotton honest (ph) to right. Put the sanctions back in place and then we'll come back to -- look, we couldn't get it done now. We'll come back and we will revisit this maybe in June, which is what they were talking about, but Greg's right. He is not walking -- the reason why there are two days, or there will going to be two days over is because they are close to getting a deal. And again, President Obama and the White House had said, a deal is better than no deal. Even a bad deal is better than no deal. So we're going to get a bad deal. And by definition, the place -- the world's going to be a more dangerous place.
PERINO: Juan, even this morning, Howard Dean, one of a Democrat said, it probably makes sense to walk away, at least temporarily, and he is not saying he doesn't want to get a deal, but he's saying at this point, shouldn't we just walk away from the moment and take stock of the situation?
WILLIAMS: I don't know the taking stock would give us any advantage. I think what it would do is potentially scare the Iranians and say.
WILLIAMS: And you're not going to get a deal.
GUILFOYLE: But that's now.
WILLIAMS: So I think that's a negotiating tactic as described by Howard Dean. But what you guys are discussing is basically, I think you guys don't want a deal, you don't trust Obama and you don't trust the United States to get a good deal that would stop Iran from getting a bomb.
GUTFELD: And don't trust Iran.
WILLIAMS: You know --
(LAUGHTER) WILLIAMS: The thing is --
(CROSSTALK) WILLIAMS: If you don't trust Iran, then you would want a deal. I think Greg, because when you want.
GUILFOYLE: No, no, no.
WILLIAMS: Something written down that would say.
GUILFOYLE: No, no.
WILLIAMS: We have a right to inspect your facilities, to make sure that you're not getting a bomb.
PERINO: They're not even talking about writing that down, Kimberly.
GUILFOYLE: Right. There are -- yeah.
PERINO: There are so many holes in it, right? Like its holes like, Swiss cheese.
GUTFELD: Well, well done, Dana.
PERINO: Thank you. Because they're saying that Reuters reported today, that there was like an unwritten sort of thing and maybe there will a sort of handshake agreement.
GUILFOYLE: Yeah, but this means nothing. There is nothing that enforceable about or binding. Right now, we are operating from a position of, you know, diminished returns. We're not getting what we want. We're not even -- we shouldn't be even sitting at the table agreeing to these terms that we've already conceded. So why have we given up our leverage? Step back, put the sanctions back on, show that we're serious, there is a very big risk here.
WILLIAMS: Oh, Kimberly, not because things are going so well in the Middle East?
GUILFOYLE: No. But just let me tell you -- that's -- it doesn't matter. Because that's -- that's a nice approach, Juan.
PERINO: Want to make them worst, you gave then Juan, a big --
WILLIAMS: No. I'm saying if you want to make it better, you get the Iran's deal .
GUILFOYLE: If you think it's better to have a bad deal.
WILLIAMS: No, no, no.
GUILFOYLE: I think it's better to have no deal --
WILLIAMS: No. Please.
GUILFOYLE: And the U.S. operates from a position of strength and say, you come to me now, you show.
WILLIAMS: Five million (ph).
GUILFOYLE: You give me something.
WILLIAMS: Well, the --
GUILFOYLE: Because we're the ones.
WILLIAMS: I know.
GUILFOYLE: That has superpowers that have all the ability to say yes or no. Start acting like it.
WILLIAMS: So miss muscles, let me tell you. I know you are powerful. You are America.
WILLIAMS: Yeah. But let me just tell you, the Middle East is going to hell in a hand basket, and it would be good if we get.
GUTFELD: The last.
WILLIAMS: Iran to act in a responsible manner, and you have a president right now, who's taking a great risk, as we can see from the reaction at this table.
GUILFOYLE: And this you know --
WILLIAMS: Of saying let's talk. Let's see if we can get something done.
GUILFOYLE: Juan and this deal will put the Middle East and America's interest in a worst position.
WILLIAMS: Oh, you know that, because you are --
BOLLING: Can I get --
GUILFOYLE: Everybody knows that.
WILLIAMS: What do you put that an applicator on cable?
BOLLING: You know what? So, let's to say Iran gets --
GUILFOYLE: Psychiatric friend's network?
WILLIAMS: Yes. That's what I was thinking.
BOLLING: Iran gets the bomb, whatever that breakout time of that. It's a year, two years, five years. You going to tell me Saudi Arabia doesn't want Egypt, doesn't want Jordan, doesn't want -- there are other all going to --
WILLIAMS: Do you remember that clear --
BOLLING: Weapon. You know after that.
WILLIAMS: Let me tell you something --
BOLLING: He wants 15 --
PERINO: We've got to go, guys.
WILLIAMS: Remember, this is a deal to stop them from getting a nuclear weapon.
PERINO: To that we'd say oh, OK.
GUILFOYLE: OK. Now we get it.
GUTFELD: That Sunrise clause.
PERINO: All right. We got to go. A lot of Americans wish the IRS didn't exist, and Ted Cruz hopes to make that happen if he becomes president, but the head of the agency vows it will never happen.
GUILFOYLE: So he gets thrown out?
GUILFOYLE: Well, it's that dreaded time of the year again, tax time. Now, can you imagine an America without the IRS? I dream of one. Ted Cruz wants us to.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SEN. TED CRUZ, R-TEXAS, PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Instead of a tax code that crushes innovation, that imposes burdens on families struggling to make ends meet, imagine a simple flat tax that lets every American fill out his or her taxes on a postcard. Imagine abolishing the IRS.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: He's hoping to make that a reality one day if he becomes president. But the head of the agency has some news for him. Somebody has to collect the money. John Koskinen mocked the senator and other Republicans yesterday, saying, "You can call the IRS something else if it will make you feel better."
How about don't call us, and we're not calling you. Eric, you're a big fan of this idea, though.
BOLLING: I like flat tax. I like fair tax better.
GUILFOYLE: Explain the difference.
BOLLING: Flat tax, you have a rate and that's what everyone pays. You pay a percentage of your income. The fair tax, in my opinion, is better, because it doesn't tax production. It taxes consumption. So everybody pays taxes. It doesn't matter if you're on welfare, which there is a welfare built into the system, or if you're wealthy, if you're a pimp, prostitute or hooker or whatever, a drug dealer, you still pay taxes, too, because everything you buy, you pay a tax on.
You'd need the IRS only for the collection of the -- their idea is 23 percent. You take the 23 percent across the board. And then you send it out to the various areas.
Taxation in itself, though, is theft of wealth.
GUILFOYLE: Right. Well, there's a lot of criticism of the IRS, you know, Juan, people very critical, saying this is unfair. They have been accused and, in fact, been proven to discriminate against certain groups, political ideology, which is really inappropriate. So they're at an all-time low in terms of their public appeal if they ever had any.
WILLIAMS: Well, nobody likes the IRS, but after Lois Lerner and then, don't forget -- I know that Eric would remember this -- the hot tub in Vegas. That's where the rich hang out.
BOLLING: Yes. The two glasses of wine.
WILLIAMS: Remember that? OK. That would drive it down.
But, you know, this whole business that Eric just endorsed, "Oh, let's just have a flat tax. You know, it's these crazy liberal Democrats. They are the ones that like taxes. And if we Republicans got together, we'd do away with it." Ben Carson, Cruz, all the rest.
But you know what? Who pays for the military? Who pays for our government to function? It's our tax dollars. And who puts in all the tax credit? Who puts in all the special exemptions? It's the big corporations. The big corporations, I want to see you tell the special interests at the big oil companies, "Oh, yes, you guys get no more tax breaks."
BOLLING: No. There's no more income tax, Juan. That's what happens with the fair tax. Income tax would...
WILLIAMS: No, there's going to have to be taxes on corporate profits. Oh, fair tax, you're talking about now.
GUILFOYLE: The fair tax versus flat tax. OK, there you go, Dana.
PERINO: Well, I think that people, you're right, the frustration that people have with the IRS, especially people that are Republicans or conservatives, are frustrated. Just today we find out that Lois Lerner will not face any criminal charges, so showing once again that the civil servants are protected by the government, by their unions, and even by the Justice Department, even though there was wrongdoing. She won't face any consequences for that.
I think the big question here is how many days are we willing to work a year before we try to push back? This year, everybody in America, you have to work 114 days into the year before you start earning any money for yourself. All the rest of it goes to the government.
And if I were Hillary Clinton or the Democrats, I would say that a simpler fair tax code is actually the best way to try to close the income gap that they're worried about.
PERINO: So I think we could actually all work together on that.
GUILFOYLE: Sure. I mean, there's a lot of appeal there.
PERINO: You know who it would help a lot? Women.
GUILFOYLE: Yes, it would help women.
PERINO: There you go.
WILLIAMS: Wait a second. Why?
PERINO: Because I think that all of this preparation, the things like you're having to work two jobs, and you're having to work all that time to pay the government rather than paying yourself back, you have stronger economic growth, that could only help women.
WILLIAMS: You're a man hater, girl. What do you mean? Why would it help you and not me?
PERINO: Two can play this game.
GUILFOYLE: Whoa, there you go, snap.
GUTFELD: What's the guy's name, the head of the IRS that was just...
GUTFELD: OK. The funny thing is, both Cruz and Koskinen were saying exactly the same thing, which is replace it with something better. And it doesn't matter -- the point is, everybody knows this current system is bad. But you don't abolish the bad system. You create something better. Like nobody...
GUILFOYLE: "Breaking Bad."
GUTFELD: ... abolished -- nobody abolished rotary phones. Something better came along. Nobody abolished CDs when you got -- MP3s just came along.
The fact is, a persuasive candidate must introduce a platform that explains it simply and plainly, what is better. Whether it is a fair tax, flat tax, sales tax, and explains it in a way that everybody goes, "I get it."
And you could still call it the IRS. You can call it whatever you want, but it is a simple and superior plan. That's what you do. You don't just say abolish. You don't abolish things. You introduce something superior that makes that irrelevant. The IRS then just goes on its merry way. It becomes obsolete, because you've got this new, better thing.
WILLIAMS: You know what? This is one time that you and I are on the same page. I just think it's the big corporations who like their exemptions and tax special interest deals, but they would never let it happen.
PERINO: If everyone had the same cut at the same time, it wouldn't matter.
PERINO: Then it's equitable.
GUILFOYLE: Thank you. Next, the incoming host of "The Daily Show" has some skeletons coming out of his social media closet, but Comedy Central is standing by Trevor Noah. Greg has the tweets that critics don't find amusing ahead. Stay with us.
GUTFELD: Do you "Noah" who Trevor Noah is? That's OK, I've never heard of him until yesterday. But he's the new guy replacing Jon Stewart.
Yes, he's a guy. Talk about sexist. What is this, the 1950s? I guess women should stick to baking cookies and having babies barefoot.
But Trevor is a young black South African, a smart choice, for he's neither a white male or from this country, just like our president.
But now Noah is really famous for his tweets that jeer Jews, the obese, women, the Jews and, yes, the Jews. Mostly the guy has a thing about Jews, just like our president.
Seriously, I'm not offended as I am bored by it all.
Now, when Trevor got the job, the left assumed the right would attack him. But it's the left that's tearing him apart now. That's because, as conservatives we're not supposed to care about careless words. We invented the phrase "lighten up." We can take a joke, even if it's not funny. It's why we tolerated Rob Schneider.
We also know scouring the web for hurtful words is actually a much, much greater evil, especially in an era of beheadings and mass rape.
The fact is, if you've never said anything offensive in your life, you're probably really boring.
Of course, if Trevor were a conservative, he would be frog-marched into oblivion, but that's OK. That's a price that you pay for living in a safari park for lefties. We have the target on our backs. Not Noah.
So he will be fine. The rest of us, we won't be so lucky.
The irony here, Dana, right, we will defend this guy to the ends of the earth. But on "The Daily Show," he's going to nail us every day.
PERINO: That is exactly right. I think it is right to stand up for him, but mark my words, he will never defend you, OK?
GUTFELD: Yes, yes.
PERINO: And you could actually start a little meter.
PERINO: When he starts at "The Daily Show," how many attacks he has against FOX News on a nightly basis. And you know, we should make some money on it.
GUTFELD: We're paying his salary, I believe.
GUILFOYLE: And he's a comedian.
PERINO: That's what I'm saying. But he would never defend Greg.
GUILFOYLE: The world out there.
BOLLING: But you know what, what the problem is? And I watched a lot of his stuff from the Apollo, a lot of his stand-up stuff. He's not that funny. I mean, look, I'm not trashing him. He might be amazing.
GUTFELD: That doesn't matter.
BOLLING: No, no. And again, there's a lot of people who are...
GUILFOYLE: He has 2 million Twitter followers. They're impressed with his social media presence.
BOLLING: Yes, but a lot of people are upset with some of the things he's tweeted. I don't have...
GUTFELD: Can I read them?
GUTFELD: Let me read them. All right. Here are three tweets. I'll read them right off.
First one: "Almost bumped a Jewish kid crossing the road. He didn't look before crossing. But I still would have felt bad in my German car!"
"South Africans know how to recycle like Israel knows how to be peaceful."
"When flying over the middle of America, the turbulence is so bad, it's like all the ignorance is rising through the air."
So what he did, really, is he checked all the lefty boxes. Jews, Jews and Americans are racist. He deserves this job! He earned it!
BOLLING: It's not even that funny. That's my problem.
GUTFELD: He's evolved, Eric. He claims he's now very funny.
GUILFOYLE: But he tagged in women, too. So 2001 when he wrote, "Oh, yes, the weekend, people are going to get drunk and think that I'm sexy," he said a quote that he attributes to fat chicks everywhere. See?
WILLIAMS: He went after -- he went after...
GUILFOYLE: See? Dana doesn't like it.
WILLIAMS: ... fat chicks or obese chicks lots, right?
WILLIAMS: He went after black folks, and you know, said black folks should stop with the cars.
GUILFOYLE: So he's an equal opportunity racist.
WILLIAMS: No, no.
GUTFELD: He should not be getting any grief for this.
WILLIAMS: That's a good point.
GUTFELD: I think it goes back to the fact that I think we are realizing that Twitter might, in fact, be evil because we're now voluntarily -- we're not even getting paid. We're voluntarily putting ourselves at risk. Every day you go on Twitter...
GUTFELD: ... like me, drunk, and you say stuff. And now Twitter is the first all-you-can-see bathroom wall. The stuff you write there stays there. This guy should not be bothered about this. But there are people out there waiting to hit all of us. All of us.
BOLLING: To his credit, too, he left those tweets up.
GUTFELD: Yes. That's true.
BOLLING: Once he got pushback, a lot of people, oh, give it 24 hours. It will be gone. And I'm pretty sure he left them up.
PERINO: I got some this week.
PERINO: Because I said I wouldn't want to watch the Ed Snowden movie.
PERINO: Don't try to offend Ed Snowden.
PERINO: He's got people. But they all have ten followers each. So I wasn't really that bothered.
GUTFELD: It's just -- Juan, it's just easier to attack on Twitter, and it's easier to write a story about it. So you have a lot of bloggers. Noah gets the job. They run out of writing about it, so they look at his tweets. It's an opportunity.
GUILFOYLE: Guess what? He actually should get a cup, like a unicorn cup, and then everyone will give him a pass and they'll say, "Don't take him seriously, because he's making a joke." I'm not kidding.
WILLIAMS: No, but I think comedians do get in trouble. I think, you know -- what's the guy on "Seinfeld" who was making...?
GUTFELD: Yes, that was a joke.
WILLIAMS: But he thought it was funny. I personally can't stand a lot of these comedians that use the "N" word all the time. Look, I'm a guy that's gotten in trouble for saying things that people don't like. OK?
PERINO: Oh, really? Like what? You want to relive that?
WILLIAMS: Something I'm not repeating.
PERINO: Should we relive it?
WILLIAMS: Yes. No, thank you.
GUTFELD: But the fact is people get off on outrage. And there was a book written a couple years ago on this. I can't remember what it was called. "Joy of" something. I can't remember. Oh, you producers. How did you come up with that so fast?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GRAPHIC: Greg Gutfeld's book "The Joy of Hate"
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Wow. Anyway. Ahead, has Amazon started a shopping revolution with the push of a button? Up next.
WILLIAMS: It's 5 p.m. You've probably run out of some household items like paper towels, detergent. You know, you don't have to go shopping now; you've got to watch TV. So Amazon has just come up with a speedy, simple solution.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Don't let running out ruin your rhythm. Introducing the Amazon Dash button for prime members. A simple way to reorder the important things you always run low on, so you never run out. With prime shipping, you'll get new products delivered to your door before you run out and never miss a beat.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WILLIAMS: So this is like you just push that button, and it goes right through your smart phone and orders more detergent or whatever, and then they deliver it to your house. And you know, they're making a big deal, because they can deliver it, you know, within a day or whatever if you're a prime member or whatever. So Eric, is this the answer to all of your problems?
BOLLING: I can't imagine having all those buttons around the house with the brands, No. 1. And No. 2, you know the brands that they choose to have, Amazon, are -- isn't that -- that's not really a free market at all.
GUILFOYLE: It's a monopoly.
BOLLING: It's a monopoly. It's like Home Shopping Network.
GUILFOYLE: You know why? They probably have better margins. That's what I think. They've got a better deal with Tide or some of these other things.
Kids love to press buttons. Can you imagine how much toilet paper I would end up with?
WILLIAMS: Well, they've got protection: They only process one a day. But you don't like it. I can see from your face.
PERINO: I happen to think this could be very dangerous. I haven't gone to a store to buy household items in a long time, because I do order them over the Internet. I do wish I had invested in cardboard.
WILLIAMS: All the boxes.
PERINO: Seems to me -- everybody is getting plastic or cardboard. Everyone is getting these boxes every day. It has to be a good deal.
WILLIAMS: I was at Greg's house. And I said, "Greg, guess what, Greg? There's no Tide. There's no detergent here," right? So I pushed the button, and then came a drone right through the window with the detergent. I said, "Greg, you are so hip, so cool."
GUILFOYLE: With outdoor space.
PERINO: I actually live with six belly dancers, so I'm constantly surrounded by buttons.
WILLIAMS: That's why I came to visit.
GUILFOYLE: Yes, that's your story (ph).
GUTFELD: All right. That idea -- go to the supermarket. You get the free samples. There's divorced women.
GUILFOYLE: You don't go there.
GUTFELD: I know.
WILLIAMS: All right. "One More Thing" coming up next.
BOLLING: All right. Time for "One More Thing." I'm going to kick it off. Yesterday I saw this story, a great family on "Imus." Check out John Paul George, is the name of this young little boy. Take a listen to this story.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANNETTE GEORGE, MOTHER OF JOHN PAUL: The first point that we do is we pray and then we get other people to pray, too, because I think it is really a community of prayer that has saved John Paul. I mean, no matter the religion, the faith, the spirituality, it's all that coming together to encompass John Paul and prayer. And I think that's what helps us through.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: And so what happened was John Paul George was born with half of a working heart. Doctors said he wasn't going to make it. But through faith and prayer and a family and some great doctors, he's now 20 years old, by the way.
BOLLING: And here's the book. It's called "Heart of a Lion: The Story of God's Grace Through Family and Hope." Check it out on Amazon.
All right. Dana's up next.
PERINO: All right. NASCAR's Food City 500 race is coming up at the Bristol Motor Speedway in Tennessee April 19. And why would I mention this? Because miracles of miracles happen. I'm getting the honor to do something I never thought I'd do. I'm going to be the honorary starter.
BOLLING: Get out.
PERINO: So I'm going to be holding the flag.
PERINO: Kicking off the race.
GUTFELD: Will they be able to see you about the fender?
PERINO: This is the question. I've been wondering about the height, my height, if they can see me, and also if I'll be able to handle the weight of the flag.
GUTFELD: That's true. You might float away.
PERINO: And also what I'm going to wear.
PERINO: So hopefully, you'll check that out.
PERINO: Fun, right?
PERINO: Going to be good.
BOLLING: Greg, you're up.
GUTFELD: It's time for -- long time.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: "I Hate These People!"
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: All right. As you know -- so as you know, today is April Fool's Day. It's a day for humorless people to mistake idiocy for funny. A prank that's done on a day that is intended for pranks is self-defeating and stupid. So if anybody pulls a prank on me...
GUTFELD: ... I will shoot you with my prank gun.
BOLLING: Very good.
PERINO: I pulled a prank this morning, and nobody cared.
BOLLING: You know why?
GUILFOYLE: They didn't know.
GUTFELD: Because pranks on April Fool's is stupid.
PERINO: No, because -- did you believe me? I said I was resigning, effective immediately, and nobody cared.
GUTFELD: I was seriously disappointed in you. I was like -- I just shook my head quietly.
GUILFOYLE: I kept zooming it on my eyes, because I thought it was a typo or like autocorrect. I'm like what is she thinking about.
BOLLING: I congratulated her.
GUILFOYLE: You congratulated her.
PERINO: Yes, the producer, he really helped me out by saying it's about time.
GUILFOYLE: So here's a very charming little story, if you'd like me to tell you in the moments we have together.
Three sisters from Brazil...
GUTFELD: I like it so far.
GUILFOYLE: ... got married -- amazing -- on the same day. And look at them, absolutely gorgeous.
PERINO: And that gorgeous.
GUILFOYLE: Can you imagine? But actually probably saved money. They had 600 guests but everybody at once. One band, think about it, maybe three cakes. They wore the same dress, had different color bouquets. There was some confusion as to which groom belonged to which bride, just kidding.
But this very lovely family has a tradition of getting -- having relatives getting married on the same day. So I thought it was very nice. Oh, and their names are Tagiane, Rocheli and Rafaela. So hope you enjoy wonderful, beautiful lives together.
GUTFELD: Now, things don't work out, do they all have to do that at the same time?
GUILFOYLE: Yes, there will be a triple divorce.
BOLLING: They didn't marry three triple dudes? Right?
BOLLING: All right. Juan, you're up.
WILLIAMS: So Kevin Durant, superstar of the Oklahoma City Thunder says in an interview that he intends to finish his career with the Oklahoma City Thunder. And I hope the people in Oklahoma City don't believe this, because he's coming to Washington.
As a long-time, long-suffering Washington Wizards fan, we've never won anything. Kevin Durant is a hometown champ. And wouldn't it be great, Kevin Durant, if you came back? And we would treat you so well.
The people in Oklahoma City, I don't think they really understand the game. They just think you're like a tall guy.
And so don't even pay attention to what Kevin Durant said, because it's not that important. So Kevin Durant, if you're listening, come to Washington and play basketball for people who love you.
GUTFELD: He watches "The Five" every day, I've been told.
WILLIAMS: Is that right?
PERINO: Did you get suckered into that from our producer from Oklahoma City?
WILLIAMS: You mean Porter?
GUILFOYLE: I thought it was a nice tip (ph).
BOLLING: We've got to know. That's it for us. "Special Report" on deck, coming up right now.
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