Psaki: No record of Hillary signing separation statement

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," March 17, 2015. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino along
with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Juan Williams, Eric Bolling and Greg Gutfeld. It's
5 o'clock in New York City and this is "The Five."

It's taken days to get the answer to this very simple question, did Hillary
Clinton sign an agreement to turn over all official documents to the
government before she left office? Documents including work related e-mail
sent through her private account, today, finally an answer from the State


Clinton's official personnel file and administrative files and do not have
any record of her signing the OF-109. In addition, after looking into their
official personnel files we do not locate any record of either of her
immediate predecessors signing this form. It's not clear that this form is
used as part of a standard part of check out across federal government or
even at the State Department. So we are certainly looking into that.


PERINO: Joining us now, someone who has been pushing for the truth, Megyn
Kelly, host of The Kelly File at 9pm Eastern. Her show filed a request for
that form under the freedom of information act last week. And Megyn,
without your pushing Jen Psaki might not have has finally been able to get
an answer to give to all of us and I'm sure she's probably thankful to you,
to finally push this enough that she got an answer from the higher.

MEGYN KELLY, HOST OF "THE KELLY FILE": I don't believe in Jen Psaki.


KELLY: I actually think Jen Psaki is an honest broker, but she answers to
people who may not be totally interested in getting the truth.

PERINO: You're right. So you had to push them.

KELLY: Yes, we had to push them, because we wanted to know whether or not
this form existed. And if they said yes, then we would know that she signed
it and if they said no, it doesn't exist then we would know that she did
not and else, she's been force to answer, there's no 109. At least, they
have not been able to recover of -- an OF-109, which saves Hillary
potentially from a perjury charge. Because if she has certified that she
have returned all her records, we all know that she had been done -- had
done that, she would have been a lot of trouble today. I don't know,
sitting here today, whether it's true or not.


KELLY: I don't whether there was a form last Tuesday and today, said form
has suddenly disappeared, and we'll probably never know, although I will
say, they're gonna have to certify something at some. It's a lot more
official than what she just did and if they maintain that story there, then
we have to take them at their word. The bottom line is, what she said today
was an attempt to wiggle out of responsibility. There was a form. There
should be a form, and guess who's responsible for ensuring that these
documents are maintained? The head of the State Department.


KELLY: Hillary Clinton. When she was there, she was one who had ultimate
responsibility for making that the employees signed this form which is
required at the State Department, and she did not -- she did not sign it,
she didn't see it through. And Jen Psaki attempt today, to say -- let me, I
have it here. There's a difference between secretaries of state and staff
at lower levels. Trying to say that's why she didn't sign it, because she
was the secretary of state is completely untrue and viewers need know that
right now. Because, the regulations specifically say, presidential
appointees confirmed by the Senate are included in the regulations.

GUILFOYLE: Which is secretary of staffs? (ph)

KELLY: Hillary Clinton. And Jen Psaki either knows that and is dodging or
didn't do her homework. But, there's no question, Hillary should have
signed this form and she was required to and didn't.

PERINO: Before we take around the table, I have one other question. So
yesterday, the Hillary Clinton camp, not Jen Psaki at the State Department
but Hillary Clinton's camps came out with a revision and said, when Hillary
Clinton said that all e-mails had been deleted, the personal emails.

KELLY: After just a word search.

PERINO: After a word search. Now Nick Merrill, the spokesman says, no,
actually they were reviewed one by one. But as a lawyer, if you're
reviewing documents one by one, don't you make a log of documents like

KELLY: Well, you do in litigation, because you may have to produce to it a
judge to justify which ones you kept and which ones you didn't. But I'll
tell you what stinks to me about that the most is, that will be the first
thing you say. We went through every document, we trust us, we had an
attorney, we had a team. We look at every single document and then we
called them in a following way. You wouldn't even mention a word search.
You'd say, we had a live human being looked at every document and we made a
pile of the ones that were office related or federal records and the ones
that were not. And we're comfortable with the delineation, they didn't say
that. They say they did a key word search.


KELLY: You know like, official business, State Department, Benghazi,
whoever it was, and if you fell in that category, they say they produced
it, and if you didn't, they say they deleted it. And then only when the
country said, what?


KELLY: So, if it didn't happen to fall within what you viewed as a relevant
word, you just declared it not a federal document you deleted it?

PERINO: Right.

KELLY: That they came out with their new story.

PERINO: Like what if an e-mail said, hey, President Obama, call me at 9:59
p.m. The night of the Benghazi, we would know that they talked at 10:00
p.m. which has been one of the questions.

KELLY: This was -- this is so egregious. Let me tell you, that this is a
complete dereliction of duty to the American people. They had an obligation
that they put upon themselves by the way, at the State Department with
their own rules, their own manual that they did not follow, and who was in
command at the time? Hillary Clinton. And she -- she had somebody fired for
in part not following the rules when it came to federal records, but she
didn't hold herself to the same standard. And now, Jen Psaki gets out there
today and the first thing she says, which is an obvious attempt to try to
diminish what Hillary Clinton did although, we didn't find one for Powell
or Rice either. Well, guess what? They weren't entirely off line like
Hillary Clinton. The certification was more important in this case than it
was for anybody.

GUILFOYLE: Because the difference --

KELLY: Because Powell and Rice did business at the State Department, on the
State Department computers and with real life human beings there. Hillary
Clinton did everything, from Chappaqua and her individual device which was
controlled by her server, so it was important than ever. That when she
left, the State Department, she sat down with the records official as she
was required to do and showed him the documents she had and they came up
with a determination of what was appropriate to take and what wasn't,
because you know what? Those aren't her documents, they're yours.


KELLY: Yours and mine.


KELLY: All of the viewers, they are not Hillary's.


GUILFOYLE: And this was also tell you that --

KELLY: They're Greg's too, believe it or not.


GUILFOYLE: State Departments -- I think they knew, they knew that Hillary
wasn't going to be complying with this, that she was gonna be using her own
private e-mail server. She didn't sign the form. She knew that. She was
intending to run for 2016 and she didn't want anybody going through her e-
mails, so that she could be the one to decide. That's why I feel that the
server should be turned over. Let's see exactly what was on there, because
of this dereliction of duty that she did not follow the law, that she held
herself above the law.

KELLY: And let me tell you something else.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Kimberly, only Bill Clinton turns over
the servers.


KELLY: Exactly.

GUTFELD: There still a little levity here.


KELLY: We got the -- if we got the server --

GUILFOYLE: We'll see.


KELLY: We'll see. They will see it. Because the only way you can really
delete something into these days, just as something that you might wanna
know, I mean your own personal business for whatever reason. Because the
only way you really delete something is if you overwrite it. Just deleting
it doesn't get rid of it.


KELLY: You have to actually go into the document, write different stuff and
then save it. Just in case you ever need them.

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: So, and you --

KELLY: But we would be able to see when she did that. So she did it last


KELLY: We could tell.

BOLLING: We call it an egregious situation, a dereliction of duty, so the
next step would be, would it not be that the DOJ says, look, where we want
it, were gonna subpoena the server.

KELLY: Oh, I think Eric Holder is on there right now.


KELLY: Yes. He's gonna be very --

BOLLING: I won't be though.

GUILFOYLE: Right before you leave.

KELLY: He said he care about.

BOLLING: Why does, he does?

KELLY: You heard the messaging for state. You heard the messaging from the
White House. They're all -- I can talk to states, talk to Hillary,
whatever. You know, this is how we do it over at the White House and no one
is taking responsibility. This -- no one cares about the American public's
right to know. There's a reason they have Federal Records Act. It's so that
we get to have the history intact about the Clinton years at the State

GUILFOYLE: It's a theft crime, to say (inaudible) this of it.

KELLY: And there is a reason that we have the Federal Records Act. We're
entitled to know what our government looked like, what history looked like,
what the documents were, what they said and which something important comes
up like Benghazi, there's a record of it. You're not allowed to dodge our
knowing and congressional oversight as James Carville admitted was her goal
and all of that.

PERINO: Can I toss to that James Carville thought.

KELLY: Yeah.

PERINO: Because, we have him and Ron Fournier talking about this. Let's
listen at the clip and take around.


is not following this. Because they know what it is? It was something that
she did. It was legal. It amounts to nothing but a bunch of people flapping
their jaws about nothing.

spin. They are scared to death. And there's a lot of them who are already
starting to think if she really the best candidate for us.


PERINO: Juan, do you think that Ron is right, that Democrats are scared
even a little bit?

JUAN WILLIAMS, CO-HOST: Maybe a little bit, especially in
terms of the way they've handled it because I think people are concerned
that it looks like they allowed to it steam roll, to -- you know, gain a
lot of momentum. It took hear long time to get out there and say anything
about it, and when she did, she got panned not only by conservatives but by
liberals in terms of the press conference who expected her to have some
kind of finality and conclusive statement about she was saying stated so
refuel the fire at that point. I will say again, just to pick up on what
Carville was talking about. I still think it's the case that she broke no
law. I think that's what all of this --

GUILFOYLE: But you don't know?

WILLIAMS: We got to find a document, we got to this, we got to do that,
people are so afraid of her on the Republican side. They are just trying to
tear her down.

KELLY: But how do you say that? If the law says that it's a violation to
willfully conceal your records.

WILLIAMS: The people at the Federal Records Act say she broke no law. But
we're looking at --


KELLY: I'm an attorney and she had Coffin as an attorney, you work in the
White House and I'm telling you I looked at the law. I believe there's
obviously room for disagreement on this.

WILLIAMS: I don't think she broke any law. And I think that by the way --

KELLY: Based on what?


KELLY: I'm telling you the standard is willful concealment.

WILLIAMS: There's no willful concealment that you can prove. So, I mean,
the question --

KELLY: Why not?

WILLIAMS: I don't think there's a --

KELLY: How can I not do this?

WILLIAMS: In America.

KELLY: How can it not be proven?


KELLY: When she had 30,000 documents...


KELLY: You asked me a question, let me answer it.

WILLIAMS: Let me finish it. She said.

KELLY: She has all the documents on her computer, Fournier request

WILLIAMS: Alright.

KELLY: Congressional demands are coming in. Litigation request are coming
in. She doesn't produce any of the documents. How is that not concealment?

WILLIAMS: It's no concealment, she said she had nothing classified
(inaudible) and she said even --

KELLY: At the different question.

WILLIAMS: She said nothing sensitive and anything that she wrote.

KELLY: That's a different question. And you believe her?

GUILFOYLE: You're taking her word for it.

KELLY: They just matter, if they taking it for question.


WILLIAMS: But I'm just saying, what we heard today from Jen Psaki was, no
other secretary of state ever signed this document, but it fuels your
conspiracy feelings, I understand that. I feel I'm offered transparency and
accuracy of history and I think we can't set a precedent about this, it's

KELLY: I have no conspiracy theory. What I say is that --


KELLY: If willful concealment under the law is illegal.

WILLIAMS: What is she concealing?

BOLLING: We don't know.

KELLY: All of those.

WILLIAMS: We don't know?

KELLY: No, no, no.


KELLY: We do know. We do know about that. Don't buy into this unless it's
classified she's off the hook.

PERINO: Right.

KELLY: If she had which we know she did, 60,000 documents, our documents on
her home computer and FOIA requests are coming in and congressional
subpoenas are coming in and litigation demands are coming in and she holds
on those documents and doesn't produce those to those issuing the subpoenas
and to the State Department that has to be responsive, that you can argue
is willful concealment. She never produced the documents even upon leaving.
She didn't hand them back to state. So that it could comply with its
obligations under the law.

GUILFOYLE: Yes. She did that.

WILLIAMS: I thought she did that. What I think she said she turned over


KELLY: Juan, how many, how many FOIA requests? How many subpoenas? How many
congressional demands are there?

WILLIAMS: Are you (inaudible)

KELLY: In those six years, prior to the date that she did handed it over.

PERINO: Alright, we approximate --

KELLY: First, you have to answer that question.

WILLIAMS: I would be glad --


GUTFELD: Oh no, I was thinking about what I'm eating later.

PERINO: Greg, let me ask you something.

GUTFELD: What are we talking about?

PERINO: Do Democrats --


PERINO: Can I ask you to react to this. Given all of this, there are facts
and there's so questions, but Democrats seem to not care.

GUTFELD: Well, I --

PERINO: They say that they will still gonna vote for her.

GUTFELD: Well, the --

PERINO: I mean, they don't --

GUTFELD: They are not going lose an election based on a form.

PERINO: Correct.

GUTFELD: The Republicans still have to come up with a reasonably articulate
and intelligent and witty candidate which I haven't seen yet. So they're
gonna lose an election or either win an election, because Hillary didn't
fill out a form. But the dems, they are freaking out. This is like a star
of an upcoming big budget film. There's been caught with a goat and the
goat is married.


GUTFELD: They need, they need right now. They need right now, they need to
find a Nicole Kidman to replace their Sandra Bullock. That's what they are
doing right now, they are not saying it, but that's what happening.
Meanwhile, they are also worried about another thing and it's not just the
e-mail thing. It's her own character, personality, the way she carries
herself. She's not into this. She's not into the campaign. She's not into
going through all the hard work. She wanted to be anointed. She reminds me
when I'm shopping with my wife, or like men in (inaudible) class, they
don't want to be there. She doesn't want to be there. She wants to go to a
quiet place and have somebody ring the doorbell and go, hey you know what?
The election is over, you won, you can come in now, because she doesn't --
she's not into this stuff. That's why during the press conference she never
looked at anybody. She felt it was beneath her to look you in the eye. She
thought it was insulting that a reporter was asking her a question. And to
her, it's still insulting and will be insulting to the very end, because
she's a Clinton.

BOLLING: Can I throw one more thing in there and it's gonna matter.
Because, as we find out these documents, as we find out what she's up to,
more and more things bubble up. We heard about the 60 companies that
petitioned the State Department that she spoke for on behalf of them
overseas and maybe donations were made to the Clinton foundation.

GUILFOYLE: Well, that's a question.

BOLLING: There's a new one that came up yesterday.

KELLY: Why - why do the e-mails? What's in the e-mails?

BOLLING: Right. Well, let us see. Let's make sure that everything she does
is above board, legal and transparent.

GUILFOYLE: Right. But it's just that?


GUILFOYLE: Because she broke the law to begin with by not turning it over
right there and there's the second layer. What would do the documents.


BOLLING: $2 million to Chinese Intel firm.

WILLIAMS: As it good (ph) things.


BOLLING: Turned over to the Clinton foundation.


BOLLING: At about the same time.

PERINO: Yeah, and like why?


BOLLING: Why would they donate $2 million to the Clinton foundation,
Chinese firm? Maybe it's legit. Let us know.


KELLY: Can I say two things. What interesting though is, Kimberly and I are
both lawyers, and I think as lawyers, we zero in any illegalities of it
because, fidelity to the law is important.


KELLY: And the rule of law at base is what holds this country together. And
she is a lawyer.


KELLY: And she wants to be.


KELLLY: The commander-in-chief and the president of the country. It
matters. She happens to be married to a man who lied under oath while he
was lawyer and was president of the United States, which was also a
dereliction. So, the standard of honesty has to be above more. She expected
to do more not less. The political issue is separate issue and you know
they may, intertwine.

PERINO: Right.

KELLY: But the legal issue is the one that I've been throwing in on.

PERINO: Right.

KELLY: Because to me as a lawyer, it's a phantom (ph) it's important to
uphold that standards and if it crosses over, it so agree just it crosses
over into a political issue and that's for the public --

GUILFOYLE: And she has to be held accountable for breaking the law --

PERINO: Will you have more on this tonight, on The Kelly File?

KELLY: No, we're not going to cover this at all.


GUTFELD: Over the case, you have to.

PERINO: I don't know if you want to invite Juan on to continue that cover

KELLY: We've got you know, we've got Shannen Coffin who is the person who
actually dug up that OF-109 to begin with right for national review.


KELLY: And we are gonna advance the story tonight on another regulation and
something else that we have found.

PERINO: That's what they called it a tease. Alright, coming up the polls
closed an hour ago, Israel and someone has declared victory already.


PERINO: Speaking development from the poll scene follow around the world,



GUILFOYLE: Polls in Israel are now closed after the nation's tight
parliamentary election. And although official results won't be released
until Thursday, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is already declaring
victory for his likelihood (ph) party.

WILLIAMS: Discuss?


GUILFOYLE: Sorry I have little (inaudible). So what do you think?

BOLLING: So, he's declaring victory. I'm not sure that it's not premature.

GUILFOYLE: But the AP is also reporting this sensitively.

BOLLING: Hopefully he's right. I just find it -- read this whole scandal
regarding the money that State Department -- U.S. State Department under
President Obama sent to a group called One Voice Movement. $350,000 to One
Voice Movement, a subsidiary of One Voice Movement is called Victory 15,
which is anti Bibi Netanyahu campaign.


BOLLING: So, its fungible money right? They -- so in essence, some of the
money that the U.S. State Department under Obama has gone into the coffers
of Voice One which is to get, unseat Bibi Netanyahu. On top of it, the
Jeremy Bird, he used to work for President Obama in 2008. Deputy campaign
director is now a senior adviser to the Victory 15. If do you need any more
proof that President Obama didn't want Netanyahu as prime minister of
Israel going forward. If any other reason other than, he's gonna keep the
Middle East safer, I'm all for Bibi Netanyahu win this, I hope he pulls it

GUILFOYLE: So what do you think distinguishes this time, because there are
other times the United States have been involved in elections or unseating
people. So why as this time Dana, that perhaps this is a little bit more

PERINO: Well, I think that President Obama has made it clear that he
doesn't personally like Netanyahu and I think that, that actually then is
reciprocated. But, you have to work together no matter who wins this
election, whether it is Netanyahu or Herzog. We actually in America
shouldn't we really care, what they do economically. I mean, we should want
free markets to rule and for them to have a good economy, but that's not
really our business. And what people of Israel were voting on today, were a
whole host of issues most them being domestic policy and economic policy
govern (ph) in their own country. If President Obama thinks that the
foreign policy decision making of Israel is going to change with this
election, he's probably wrong. Now, might he be able to deal better with a
Herzog because, they would have a better personal relationship, that could
be but, the bottom line in terms of Israel not wanting Iran to have a
nuclear weapon and to take decisive action to make sure that doesn't
happen, that is not going to change with this election.

GUILFOYLE: OK. So Greg, does this seem more like a personal grudge match?

GUTFELD: No, I think it's an ideological -- grudge match?

GUILFOYLE: But in what way?

GUTFELD: Because this -- progressives don't like Israel. This has been --
if you go on the campuses these days that's what you see. They always, they
always see again in the power versus the powerful versus the powerless
structure, the progressives will always see Israel as the villain. Why
should we care now? Israel, whether you disagree with Netanyahu or not,
there's a lot you can disagree with him on, they are our pals in a lousy
neighborhood. The problem with our country right now is our president is
partying with the lousy neighbors. We used to be friends with the good
neighbors, but now we're playing with the crazy neighbors. Israel is like
that -- is the hard-working family that mows the land. Iran is the country
that has a car up on blocks and a pitbull in the yard and Obama wants them
to have more pitbulls.

GUILFOYLE: Yeah -- therefore --

GUTFELD: So that's the problem. The problem, the reason why this election
matters and the reason why the story is important is not just because it's
Israel, because of the context of what's happening now.

BOLLING: You know pitbulls can be nice too.

GUTFELD: They can. You know what? You're absolutely right.


GUTFELD: Pitbull, pitbull owners do not --

PERINO: It put me all day long.

GUTFELD: And tweet -- yes, yes, send your complaints to Eric Bolling. That
should end.


BOLLING: Well, pitbull.

GUILFOYLE: Anybody who knows the animals it depends on whether the animal
is properly socialized.

BOLLING: Correct.

GUILFOYLE: And that to do in large part by its owner.

BOLLING: And you did know that?



GUTFELD: Thanks, Kimberly.

GUILFOYLE: There you go. Alright --

WILLIAMS: By the way, by the way.


BOLLING: What pitbulls?

WILLIAMS: pitbulls?



BOLLING: You raise them nice and being in loved with --

WILLIAMS: Look, I am saying, who hangs out with pitbulls? Guys who lack
testosterone and drug dealers --



PERINO: You're going to get it now.

BOLLING: You trash the whole pitbull league.

WILLIAMS: I'm just telling you, you walk down the street and you feel
threatened by --

BOLLING: I don't. I don't. Go test two today.

WILLIAMS: Oh my, gosh.


GUTFELD: Pitbull performer.

BOLLING: You spend though (ph).

GUTFELD: I'm not a big fan.

GUILFOYLE: I like it.


GUILFOYLE: Alright, anyway. So let's --


GUILFOYLE: Eyes on mama. So here's the deal.

WILLIAMS: Yes, mama.

GUILFOYLE: Do you think it's appropriate for our president to act in such
an overt way to show his disdain for Netanyahu to try to undermine.

WILLIAMS: Well, I think --

GUILFOYLE: In Israel with one of our biggest.


GUILFOYLE: And most important allies in a region that's fraught essentials

WILLIAMS: As you know I have such high regard for Eric Bolling -- it's just

GUILFOYLE: OK. Want to ride with him?

WILLIAMS: But I must to tell the viewers that, you know what? Guess what?
Netanyahu actually had a Republican consultant working for him. And guess
what? --

PERINO: She write (ph) in the State Department?


WILLIAMS: No, no, no. He was talking about people who work for Obama --

BOLLING: No, no, no.

WILLIAMS: Advising --

BOLLING: My biggest problem is the $350,000.


WILLIAMS: But, no, no, but that's the way you said --

BOLLING: The State Department grand --

WILLIAMS: How about -- hold it, let me think about this. The Sheldon
Adeleson, Las Vegas.

BOLLING: Primary --

WILLIAMS: American citizen.


WILLIAMS: Oh, why is he influencing this? Maybe he does -- Oh, I see --

GUILFOYLE: Juan, you can spent of whatever --

WILLIAMS: Going in other word --

GUILFOYLE: Juan, this is completely different scenario. We're talking about
the president of the United States.

WILLIAMS: The president of the United States didn't spend a time. What the
question was --

GUILFOYLE: Using -- No. You mean to say --

WILLIAMS: Whether or not the State --

GUILFOYLE: The State Department like some shop on pastry, that's what he

WILLIAMS: No, we support democracy moments worldwide. So --

BOLLING: What they though?


BOLLING: Are you assuming that Netanyahu is an anti-democracy?

WILLIAMS: No, no, no. You said he went to what? The money went to a group -

BOLLING: An anti Netanyahu.

WILLAIMS: That's all it did. Now, whether or not Netanyahu --

BOLLING: No, to unseat Netanyahu.


BOLLING: Yes. Victory 15 was to unseat --

WILLIAMS: But let me just say this. I think --


WILLIAMS: I think that what you have here is a situation about economics in
Israel. I think that's largely what this is about. I don't know that they
are actually voting, and the person who intervened by the way, who brought
national affairs into this -- international affairs into this was
Netanyahu, when he came over here and spoke to our Congress.

PERINO: Good for him.

GUILFOYLE: You know what Juan?

WILLIAMS: I'm happy.

GUILFOYLE: I don't know. I'm not feeling you today.

WILLIAMS: Yeah, mama don't --

BOLLING: He's having a tough day (ph).


GUILFOYLE: I know, get a little legal sandwich earlier, didn't go so well
for here. Coming up next, in the Fastest 7, crazy pranks, flying cars and
Bill Clinton's love child? Stay tuned.


BOLLING: The Fastest 7 minutes on television cable, broadcast or hand-held
device, three exceptional stories, seven express minutes, one exegetic
host. First up -- is you're alright? You cool?

GUILFOYLE: I don't want to get at the source of the e-mail, thank me later.

BOLLING: OK. Again. Alright, first of --

GUTFELD: You should do, you just sit in front of the source and --

BOLLING: I do. I do. I'll probably get those interesting for you, for sure.
First off, I love pranks, love watching them, love pulling them and have a
good sense of humor usually, when they are pulled on me, that said. Here's
a crazy prank that definitely would be a challenge not to flip out on.
Check out the prankee and his reaction.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, my God. How do you get into a gated community?
(beep). Are you kidding me? (bleep) How do you clean this up?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: How do you do neighbor?



UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Wrong man as --

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: What are you doing with your --


BOLLING: All right, K.G., can you imagine coming home -- that's Howie
Mandel, by the way.

GUILFOYLE: No, I know who he is. That is just -- I got to tell you,
toilet paper is very expensive these days; and if it's double ply, my word
-- I mean, I just don't know. It's too much. I'd be pissed.

BOLLING: What do you think of this one?

GUTFELD: Pranks are OK. I hate it when rich people perform pranks, like a
humble brag: "Look how much money I spent on a joke" The real prank would
be if he'd burned the house down. That would have been hilarious.


GUTFELD: Any good pranks you pulled?

GUILFOYLE: You don't want to encourage the pyromania.

PERINO: The only thing I could remember was on April Fools' Day years and
years ago. I think I was maybe ten. The little -- you know, in the end
faucet at the kitchen, there was the rubber hose you use?

GUTFELD: The nozzle.

PERINO: The nozzle is what we came up with in the break. I tied a rubber
band around that so that it was on so that when my dad came in in the
morning and he had his suit on, ready to go to work, and he turned on the
faucet, and he got soaked with that.

GUTFELD: Tell the rest of the story.


GUTFELD: Well, he got -- he got an eye infection and died.

That's not true.

PERINO: But it's not the only prank I pulled. The other one I did at the
White House, we made up a fake A.P. story and we put it the seats of a
senior staff meeting to freak everybody out.

GUTFELD: Tell the rest of the story. When that guy...

PERINO: Then they declared war.

GUTFELD: The guy jumped out of the window and died, because he thought it
was real.

PERINO: It's only one story.

BOLLING: That is the down side, that people will pull a prank and
something happens.


BOLLING: Any pranks, you?



BOLLING: What are you looking at?

GUILFOYLE: He's looking at me.

WILLIAMS: Can you blame me? But I didn't think you were going to do an
exegesis and explain the grip of...

BOLLING: I don't get it (ph).

WILLIAMS: Yes. What does it mean to do pranks in America?

BOLLING: I don't know.

WILLIAMS: Once my brother -- once my brother baked some cookies with Ex-
Lax in them.

PERINO: Oh. Did he give them to you?

WILLIAMS: That brother of mine, I tell you.

BOLLING: Next on "The Fastest Seven" watch this.





Bolling: The flying car just a prototype a few months ago. We showed it
to you then. But now Aeromobil released the latest version of that vehicle
at South by Southwest, where cool gadgets and innovation are the
conference's main event.

I love this one.


PERINO: Well, I kind of like it, except I know what it's been like for my
husband, who's been trying to get a private pilot's license, and it takes a
lot of testing and a lot of work and a lot of commitment. And I don't know
if people are going to have to do the same kind of test to drive one of

BOLLING: Very good point.


BOLLING: What do you think of it?

GUTFELD: No. It's a scam. That's not a flying car. It's a plane that
you drive. That's all it is. They're just driving it around and then they
fly it -- that is not a flying car. It's a driving plane. And all this is
done so that they can get money. This is all done so they can get money
for investment. People have been doing this for 20 years, the whole flying
car thing, and it's never going to take off.

BOLLING: Very good. However, do we want...


BOLLING: Based on some of the people who are on I-95 when I'm coming to
work, do I want those people in the air flying?

GUILFOYLE: Absolutely not. But I bet if it was a flying golf cart I know
someone who would invest.

BOLLING: Interesting.


GUTFELD: Way to put that in.

BOLLING: Juan. South by Southwest pretty cool conference. Lot of
innovative stuff going on.

WILLIAMS: Yes. You know, I mean, to me this is one of the big changes in
my lifetime is the idea that there's going to be a driverless car. Now
they have flying cars, all these drones. I mean, to me it's like an
invitation to chaos. I mean, I think everything's going to smash, smash,

They have trouble with airspace just controlling the regular airplanes
coming to New York, because there's not enough of it. I don't know what's
going to go on now with cars?

BOLLING: Flying cars. Wings fold down. You can put it in the garage.

GUTFELD: It's a fraud. I want an underwater bicycle.

WILLIAMS: An underwater -- well, what about those boats they have? You
know, those duck boats that drive around and then you go right in the

GUTFELD: I have one.

WILLIAMS: You never invited me.

GUILFOYLE: Can you use that with your little water wings that you have?


GUILFOYLE: So cute with the little unicorns.

BOLLING: Let's check this one out. Jimmy Fallon poking fun, some fun at
Bill Clinton's extracurricular activities. Watch.


Governor Scott Walker announced that both of his sons are skipping college
this fall to help with his campaign. Hillary was, like, "I wish I had two
college-age sons to help with my campaign."

And Bill was like, "I have something to tell you."


BOLLING: Greg, one of the fringe benefits of a Clinton running for

GUTFELD: Yes. This is -- this is the sad part if Hillary leaves, because
there's going to be nothing better than Bill Clinton being the first man in
the White House, or the first husband. He's already building the girl
catapult, you know, to get the women out fast when Hillary comes home.
They're going to be flying out of the lawn. And it's a shame to see that,
if she's not -- she's the nominee and wins, it's an amazing four years or
maybe one year.

BOLLING: Very good.

GUILFOYLE: Wow. Yes, I don't know. One year. How about zero years after
what we've seen? Although I have to tell you, I would rather have Bill in
than Hillary.

BOLLING: So what is it going to be? You would rather have Bill than
Hillary in the White House?


BOLLING: Maybe Dana knows. It's the first gentleman?

PERINO: I don't think they know yet. I think it's unprecedented, so maybe
they'll get to decide. They might have to consult their thesaurus.

GUTFELD: You never forget your first.

BOLLING: First dude?

GUTFELD: First...

BOLLING: First whatever.

PERINO: All right, gentlemen.

WILLIAMS: I don't know. You know, the odd part of this.

GUILFOYLE: President Clinton.

BOLLING: Yes, but he's the first something.

GUILFOYLE: What's his name, his title?

WILLIAMS: Yes, but I think he's looking for an equivalent.

PERINO: Yes, but he's not going to want to take a step down. Like once
president, always president.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, that's it.

BOLLING: Interesting.

WILLIAMS: He's going to have to do an equivalent. Because, well, you like

GUILFOYLE: No, I didn't say anything.

GUTFELD: First dude.

WILLIAMS: First gentleman.

GUTFELD: How about first dibs?

BOLLING: There you go.

GUILFOYLE: First in.

BOLLING: You heard saying. First in. Let's get out of here.

Starbucks is hoping to brew up a conversation about race in America with
two words on your next cup of coffee. Juan is going to tell you all about
that coming up.



WILLIAMS: Yes, indeed. In the land of lattes and frappuccinos is aiming
to unite this country one cup at a time. Here's the CEO of Starbucks on
his company's new plan to help race relations in America.


HOWARD SCHULTZ, STARBUCKS CEO: What can we do to create more empathy,
compassion, more understanding, not only within our own company but how can
we do it so that we elevate that sense of humanity inside our stores with
our customers.

So what if we were -- what if we were to write race together on every
Starbucks cup. And if a customer asks you what this is, try and engage in
the discussion, that we have problems in this country with regard to race
and racial inequality. You can do that with one customer a day, then we're
making significant progress as we go forward.


WILLIAMS: Now Eric, I must say, I'm looking for someone here who will say,
"You know, I just want a cup of coffee," and I'm choosing you.

BOLLING: You know, I actually like this idea.


BOLLING: I do. I think it's a great way to start the conversation. A lot
of -- so many people look for their first start. When you move into a
town, there's a Starbucks. You look for a Starbucks. We love the coffee.

And fantastic that they're going to take the discussion from behind the
counter to the people. I think they said there were several hundred
comments that they acquired from baristas around the country and starting a

I know a whole lot of people are going to have a problem with me saying
this, but I think it's a great place to start. I love it. I think Schultz
has been on the cutting-edge of a lot of things, and I think hopefully he's
on the cutting-edge of improving the race relations in this country.

GUILFOYLE: That's not all they write on those cup.

WILLIAMS: What do they write on the cups?

GUILFOYLE: Different things.

WILLIAMS: You mean rudeness?

GUILFOYLE: No, like you know...

PERINO: Do they ask you out on the cup?



GUILFOYLE: Comments.

PERINO: Really? That's never happened.

WILLIAMS: Never happened to me. I have to say that.

GUILFOYLE: Right now I'm getting more free drinks from women than the men.


GUILFOYLE: I love that. Thanks, ladies. I can't reveal my sources.

PERINO: I want to try. Can I go in and see?

GUILFOYLE: Very cool.

WILLIAMS: Gregory, you know, I get distracted here, but are you the grumpy
one who will say, "I just want a cup of coffee"?

GUTFELD: I don't -- no. I'll tell you this. When anybody ever says that
they want to start a conversation, what they're saying is I want you to
agree that we are right and you are wrong.

So I will bet you the conversation on race will come down to you're
probably an unconscious racist. You live in a racist country. And there
needs to be change from within.

But do not berate me on race while I'm holding a cup of hot coffee, because
then it's going to be on you.

By the way, the only reason why Starbucks is really popular right now, it's
America's most successful private bathroom. Coffee is not their commodity;
it's their commode. People -- you go into Starbucks, because they're
tourists. And they wait in line for the bathroom, because it's the only
bathroom that doesn't stink like a Port Authority corpse.

And also, there's a fundamental misunderstanding here with what -- what
Americans conceive in the world of conversation where race lies. We're not
like the media. We don't like to sit around and talk about race, because
frankly, most of us don't give a damn. We go on and do -- look at St.
Patrick's Day right now. I'm seeing every color drunk out there, having a
good time. They don't -- if you think Ferguson is emblematic of the United
States, then you're an idiot who only listens to CNN and MSNBC, because
it's not.

The only time race ever comes up is when somebody is looking for a fight.
That's all it is.

WILLIAMS: Well, I disagree. I think race is an important topic. But


PERINO: I think what Howard Schultz is speaking to is not necessarily the
customers but the millennials that work for him. A couple of weeks ago in
the "Wall Street Journal," the front-page story, a feature story was about
how millennials want to work for some place that they feel like they are
making a difference. They want to get a paycheck, yes, but they most want
to know that they are making a difference. So I think that's what he is
trying to do here. It's a good reason for me to go to Dunkin' Donuts.

GUTFELD: Yes, the best coffee. Best coffee, Dunkin' Donuts. Dunkin'
Donuts is the best black coffee.

WILLIAMS: You really think? I love Starbucks.

PERINO: Can you say black coffee?

WILLIAMS: In the letter, what I think is relevant to us in this
conversation, is he said, you know, the politicians can't deal with
anything anymore. So let's us, Americans, have the conversation.

GUTFELD: But you know where his ideology is coming from. Let's say if a
conservative -- let's say Thomas Sowell, who's been talking about race for
years, did the very same thing? Do you think anybody would be
compassionate in the media towards that. They would ignore him completely.
Or Walter Williams...

PERINO: James Riley.

GUTFELD: Anybody like that.

PERINO: Jason Riley. Excuse me.

WILLIAMS: Kevin Williamson.

All right. Ahead, you know what today is. Huh, huh, huh? St. Patrick's
Day. So if you're wondering what my man Greg is thinking about this
holiday, you're one lucky leprechaun. It's coming up.



GUTFELD: Getting my lunch today, I came face to chest with men and women
clogging the streets, a shouting, staggering throng of incoherence; and for
once, it wasn't an Al Sharpton-led protest. Yes, this afternoon, on a
weekday, people are already wasted, because it's St. Patrick's Day. A
great day but also a day where thing you should be doing inside are now
being done outside.

Today adults called in sick so they can get sick on my shoes. I won't even
say what they're doing behind parked cars, but let's just say there are
facilities for that at Starbucks.

This is a blasphemy against alcohol. Abusing booze as a form of
celebration gives all drinkers a bad name. Drinking heavily for one day is
not an achievement. No, drinking moderately and calmly over a lifetime,
that's the goal worth shooting for.

Now I know some of the boozers at the parade today are on spring break but
not all of them. That's no sophomore pushing 40 zipping up by the trash

So who is drinking? Clearly those who don't have to operate heavy
machinery at work, i.e. ad men, P.R. flaks, people like me. But mostly
students. They can get plastered, because their work is not affected by
physical state. You can't lose a finger doing a term paper or a monologue
when you're drunk, which is why I'm wasted right now.

And so while I salute St. Patrick's Day, the parade shouldn't be an excuse
for amateurs to defile my doorway. I can do that on my own, thank you very

GUILFOYLE: Good point.

GUTFELD: Thank you, Kimberly. You look lovely in green.

GUILFOYLE: Thank you.

GUTFELD: And by the way, this is not a country thing. It's a city thing.
St. Patrick's Day in cities are terrible, because there are people right
now at 6 p.m., trying to get home on the train, and they're surrounded by

GUILFOYLE: It's rough out there already. I've got news for you. So you
should try and be safely inside your apartment way before 7 p.m....


GUILFOYLE: ... I think, because then it just starts to get really, really

GUTFELD: They were -- Juan, at 1 p.m. when I was getting food, there were
already people staggering up Sixth Avenue. And it just makes no sense to
me on a Tuesday that you should be doing that; but then again, I'm very
old, and I'm a grump.

WILLIAMS: No, you're not grumpy. And in fact, you know, people -- given
your size, people could say that you are a lucky charmer. You know what I



WILLIAMS: But I will say this. Today I was not -- today I was in my
office, right, on the 17th floor of this New York City skyscraper.


WILLIAMS: And you know, the noise from the celebration was so loud it was
coming right at me.


WILLIAMS: I never hear anything, you know, because the windows are sealed
so I can't jump out. But I mean, it's unbelievable.

GUILFOYLE: Well, everybody's are.

WILLIAMS: I was joking. I was trying to do a Greg Gutfeld. It's a joke.

GUILFOYLE: You're two doors down from him.

PERINO: It was good. Do it again, do it again. Keep trying.

GUILFOYLE: You're good, and I like your green and your spirit. And we are
black Irish together.


WILLIAMS: Go, brother. But you know, O'Reilly told me I can't even try.
He said, "Don't even try."


GUTFELD: Eric, thoughts? St. Patrick's Day, pro/con?

BOLLING: Pro. I will tell you that Eric Chase wanted to come into the
city from New Jersey.

GUILFOYLE: No, no, no.

BOLLING: And I said no, and he didn't. And I was walking around. I went
to St. Patrick's Cathedral today. It was packed by the -- and it was a lot
of high school kids.


BOLLING: A lot of young people on the street.

GUTFELD: I loved it back then, but I'm old.

BOLLING: I think it's because no one is going to arrest them for drinking
on the streets on this day.


BOLLING: Because there's so many of them.

GUTFELD: There are. They're everywhere.

You're a -- you know, you're not a liberal. So you're kind of a
leprechaun-servative. I just thought of that now, and it's really bad.

I actually like parades if they are celebrating an achievement like
military coming back after a war.

PERINO: I like the Macy's day -- Thanksgiving day parade.

GUTFELD: Because you like floats.

PERINO: I like -- I love the balloons. I love a spectacle. I like the
musical entertainment.

BOLLING: Yes, so do I.

PERINO: But I like to watch it from afar.

GUTFELD: Me, too.

PERINO: On television.


GUILFOYLE: I think it's important to be proud of your heritage.

GUTFELD: I'm glad you added that.

GUILFOYLE: Yes. We needed to make this a little bit more meaningful.

GUTFELD: OK, very good. Thank you, Kimberly.


GUTFELD: Yuck. All right. "One More Thing" is up next.


PERINO: It's time now for "One More Thing," and Eric is going to kick it

BOLLING: OK. So the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, also known as
CHOP, made a video recognizing children and the people who take care of
them when they're sick. Take a look at this.




BOLLING: And it goes on and on. It's a fantastic video. Go to our
Facebook page if you want to see the whole thing,
It's worth a couple of minutes of your time.

PERINO: And the kids love that Taylor Swift song.

GUILFOYLE: Who doesn't?

PERINO: I like it, too.

GUTFELD: It's a sham.

PERINO: I'm a kid.

WILLIAMS: It's a sham?

GUTFELD: A shame. I don't need to hear that song again. That was a
beautiful video, though. If they could just put a different song I'd be
really happy, because it's about me.

PERINO: OK. Well, guess what?


PERINO: You get to go next.

GUTFELD: Oh, yay. Hey, it's St. Patrick's Day, which means my book comes
out on paperback, "Not Cool." There it is. You can get it on Amazon or Major book retailers also carry it. Just buy it for that
beautiful, beautiful, beautiful cover. Look at that staring at you...

GUILFOYLE: You look so happy.

GUTFELD: ... piercing your soul.

PERINO: Should frame it. Like just rip the cover off.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

PERINO: And frame it in your living room.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

PERINO: I'm not going to do that.

Kimberly, you're next.

GUILFOYLE: OK. I've got a great "One More Thing." Iraq War veteran and
retired Army Sergeant Noah Galloway stole the show last night on "Dancing
with the Stars."




PERINO: Love it.

GUILFOYLE: What is so incredible because he left his left arm and leg.
He's still able to dance. Doesn't even have a knee on that one leg, and
he's able to do all this and compete. Tremendous heart and determination.
God bless him. And I know they were thrilled with him being on the show.

PERINO: I love that.

GUTFELD: That's amazing.

PERINO: All right. Juan.

WILLIAMS: That's inspiring. Terence Howard, who's the star of the hit
show "Empire," had a little disagreement with me. Seems to think that it's
OK to use the "N" word. Look at this.


conversation in most black neighborhoods. Why is it that we don't hear it
on TV anymore? Are white people afraid of it? Did they create the word?
But if this is something that we use on a daily basis, then let's address
what it really means.


WILLIAMS: Well, I'll tell you what it really means, Mr. Howard. I think
it's a historically demeaning, dehumanizing term; and sad to say, as you
point out, often used in the black community in everyday conversations but
specifically used by people in your industry -- the rap industry, the
entertainment industry -- just like they put down women, just like they
glorify violence, to sell, to make what you guys call crazy bank. It's
profane, rude, and you guys should stop it.


PERINO: Do you think that anyone would ever write that word on a Starbucks
cup? To start a conversation?

GUILFOYLE: No, you know what? Rosie Perez (ph) said today in the Latin
community they shut it down. There's a word people use, and you know what?
We don't use it internally; we don't allow people to use it externally. Do
the same thing.

PERINO: All right. I'm going to round out this "One More Thing" just
talking about a play that I went to see last night in New York. It's
called "Churchill: The Play." It's a one-man play. Ronald Keaton is the
actor. He was amazing. He stands there for two hours and tells you the
whole story about Winston Churchill, as if you read an entire biography.

And I had an extra ticket last night, and Juan was the champion; took the
extra ticket, came over and watched it with me. It was really good.

WILLIAMS: You know what? You are so gracious and, boy, did I get an

GUTFELD: Boy, I bet America loves one-man plays.

PERINO: Well, people love -- America loves Winston Churchill.

GUTFELD: That's true.

PERINO: OK? So you could learn a little something from that.


PERINO: If you ever come to New York I suggest you see it.

That's it for us. "Special Report" is next.

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