All right, folks, I have a confession to make.
I did it again.
Eric Holder caught me.
Yep, if not for us at Fox News making such a big deal out of saying Islamic extremism, no one would be making a big deal out of the White House not saying Islamic extremism.
Not this Democratic congresswoman.
Or this former top Obama intelligence official
They say words matter too. But it's Fox News making the big stink, so that's all that matters.
And it got me thinking, it happens sometimes, I know I've heard this before. This White House mentioning Fox News thing before.
Wow. I am so busted. Pick a crisis. Any crisis.
You name it, Fox News is behind it. Worse yet, Fox News created it.
And I'm here to admit, the White House ain't telling you the half of it.
How clever we are. How devious we are.
If only I had known.
If only I had known Fox News said you could keep your doctor, when you couldn't keep your doctor. Not the president.
Or that it was Fox News' plan to send your health insurance premiums skyrocketing, and not the president's plan.
Or that Fox News dismissed ISIS as the JV team, and not anyone on the president's team.
Or that Fox News was the one spying on our very own James Rosen, and not the Justice Department spying on our very own James Rosen.
That Fox News was the one targeting conservative groups, and not the IRS targeting conservative groups.
God knows what other controversies we caused,
I'm sure it's just a matter of time before it all comes out. So let me just 'fess up now and spill the beans. Everything bad, every time Fox.
All this frigid weather? Yep, Fox News. Don't ask how, we just did.
This whole measles outbreak thing? Bing-oh, Fox-oh!
This tepid economic recovery? Umm, sorry, Fox News.
The housing meltdown that preceded it? You guessed it, Fox News started it.
The internet bubble? Fox News created it, then we burst it, so we could keep milking it.
The energy crisis back in the 70s? Fox News, which is amazing, because we weren't even around in the 70s.
But that didn't stop us from having a role in the JFK assassination.
That was a Fox News guy in the grassy knoll.
The Titanic? Yep. The captain? Soo Rupert Murdoch, with a beard. Now you know why the movie was so good. We wrote the script!
Pearl Harbor? Fox News knew the Japanese were coming.
The potato famine, even Fox News' Irish-American anchors did nothing to stop it from coming.
Tsunamis? Fox News.
Earthquakes? Fox News.
Tornadoes? Fox News.
That meteor hit in Russia that blasted buildings a couple of years back? Fox's little Putin payback.
Oh, yea, this goes way back.
To the dinosaurs. Fox News killed 'em off.
And the Big Bang. Fox news started life itself up.
Only to toy with all living creatures since, and make a mockery out of political leaders today.
It's a wonder we can even look in the mirror.
It's a wonder the folks who say this nonsense have even bothered to do the same.
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