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The Five

'The Five' reacts to Obama's address at White House summit

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," February 18, 2015. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Kimberly Guilfoyle along with Juan Williams, Eric Bolling, Dana Perino and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5 o'clock in New York City and this is "The Five."

Day two of the White House summit to counter violent extremism, President Obama just delivered remarks and addressed his administration's reluctance to connect religion to terror.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Leading up to this summit, there's been a fair amount of debate in the press and among pundits about the words we use to describe and frame this challenge. Al-Qaeda and ISIL and groups like it are desperate for legitimacy. They try to portray themselves as religious leaders, holy warriors in defense of Islam. We must never accept the premise that they put forward, because it is a lie. Nor should we grant these terrorists the religious legitimacy that they seek. They are not religious leaders, they're terrorists. No religion is responsible for terrorism. People are responsible for violence and terrorism.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUILFOYLE: State department spokeswoman Marie Harf, stunned a lot of people -- alright, we're going to just wait on that for a second. So let's get to your remarks and comments to what President Obama just had to say.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Well, I mean, acknowledging terror without radical Islam is like blaming a hit-and-run on the car. It makes absolutely no sense. It's called Islamic state, it's not called terror state and you can't win a battle if you do not identify who you're battling. The first step, as we always know in solving a problem, is admitting you have a problem. The problem here is terror denial. President Obama cannot accept the cause of this terror. He's a terror denialist and it's all due to his Islamophobia. He has a fear of Islam. You should just admitted, come out with it, and then we can move on.

GUILFOYLE: Yeah, but it doesn't seem that he's willing to do so. In fact, he's being consistent --

GUTFELD: He's in denial --

GUILFOYLE: He's in --

GUTFELD: He's a terror denialist.

GUIFOYLE: He's in denial, but I think there's no cure is the problem, Dana, because he's consistent in his remarks that he will not name and state the word Islamic extremism.

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: So, we can -- we've been round and round on this for a couple of months. And this is what I think the President and the American people are not quite communicating well, OK? What the President is trying to do is I think is, it's understandable. He is saying we are not at war with people who are -- Muslim. We are at war however, with people who call themselves part of the Islamic state. That's what the American people hear. So they are confused and he seems to be caught up in what pundits think rather than articulating and leading us to why we should believe that he's got the right answer here. I understand what he's trying to do overall. I also think with changing circumstances on the ground and the absolute -- as it was referred to, the genocide, the attempts of genocide of Christians and Jews by this group, they think of this as a religious war. They are fighting for their religion. That's what they think that President Obama can say that's a lie, but that is -- if you are a radical Muslim that decides to join up with ISIS, you actually think you are doing it for your religion. That's what they think. So we have to think like they do.

GUILFOYLE: OK, well, they're a little different from probably the majority of the people in their religion. It seems that this is genocide that's happening, Eric.

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: So the speech started out just fine, in my opinion. He addressed why they refuse to say Islamic terrorists or Islamic extremists, OK, that's fine. You have your opinion. We have another opinion whether you should be doing it or not. But then he kind of backed and fell into almost an apologetic mode to -- Muslims around the world. Not only Muslims in America, Muslims around the world. He actually cited the three Muslim students that got shot. Like bringing that up didn't seem the right place to do that, because there's -- the jury's still out whether that had anything to do with their faith or if it was over a parking spot. I'm not sure, don't know, parking lot wasn't the place to do.

GUILFOYLE: Just like he brought up --

BOLLING: But --

GUILFOYLE: He can say it in Christians.

BOLLING: In a Christians -- but then it turned into something that I was shaking my -- I couldn't believe he did that. Marie Harf, after getting all the grief she got for saying that, "If we just understood the jihadists a little more, for just provided them with economic job opportunities, they might not be extremists." He went there with the same line of thought. Right now, while people are being burned, their organs are being harvested.

GUILFOYLE: Harvested.

BOLLING: We're sending 4,000 troops to Kuwait, 26 members of the coalition are right now in Saudi Arabia trying to figure out how to kill these guys, and President Obama spends a good amount of time talking about how we, as a global community, should offer more opportunities for underprivileged people. Like -- like somehow, if we just fix the poverty problem in the world, there won't be violent extremism, there won't be terror anymore. It's ludicrous.

GUILFOYLE: The poverty has nothing to do with it. Because in fact, they've been able of many of these guys that have joined up and has been really -- you know, have responded to this call for jihads are well educated, come from very good families, they're not hard up for jobs. They in fact, love the jobs that they have on their resume builder which is beheadings and burning -- and burning people alive.

JUAN WILLIAMS, CO-HOST: You know I love mockery, that's why I come to visit. Because I think you guys are really mocking Marie Harf today, and now by extension President Obama. But I think that what's going on is really, that President Obama spoke a very important truth. Again, I think what Dana said he's on target. He's not speaking to us at this table. He's not speaking to the American people about this. He's speaking to the Muslim world saying we do not have a war against Islam. We are sensitive. We are a nation that believes in religious tolerance and all the rest. And when it comes to what Marie Harf said specifically about jobs, I think she's saying there's a bigger picture. You can fight the militarily and there's no doubt we are fighting, United States of America.

GUILFOYLE: The jobs isn't that cause. (ph)

WILLIAMS: Has been fighting seven months of airstrikes.

GUILFOYLE: Yeah, I --

GUTFELD: But the point -- the point is there is actual research, factual data that shows there's no connection between poverty.

GUILFOYLE: Poverty and --

GUTFELD: And care. If this was because terror is caused by a lack of jobs, you can explain it away with -- Fort hood. That was workplace violence. The guy had a job and he still killed a bunch of people. Job or no job, radical Islamists kill people. And I agree with you, he is talking to a specific audience.

GUILFOYLE: In the name of religion, not poverty.

GUTFELD: He's talking to specific audience. But he might want to talk to Americans.

PERINO: Right.

WILLIAMS: I agree. GUTFELD: Might want to look at us and go --

WILLIAMS: You know --

GUTFELD: I get this, they're crazy.

WILLIAMS: I think we found a common ground.

GUTFELD: Yeah.

WILLIAMS: I think that's exactly right. Somebody was saying to me -- you know, the other day. As you know, if you're so smart Juan, why doesn't he send two letters?

GUILFOYLE: Yeah.

WILLIAMS: You can send one letter to the international.

GUTFELD: Right.

WILLIAMS: Muslim community, but why can't you say anything to Americans who see directly in front of them that this is Islamic terror?

GUTFELD: Yeah.

GUILFOYLE: Right, exactly. All right, Juan --

GUTFELD: I agree.

WILLIAMS: Well, that's rare. I don't know --

GUILFOYLE: Juan, you can stay.

WILLIAMS: I just stay more.

GUILFOYLE: State Department spokeswoman Marie Harf stunned a lot of people, right? When she said we have to help terrorists get jobs in order to win the war. Well, last night, she went back on television to address her critics and accused them of being the ones who don't get it.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MARIE HARF, STATE DEPARTMENT SPOKESPERSON: Longer term, we have to look at how we -- we combat the conditions that can lead people to turn to extremism. If there are 10,000 men in a country who are willing to blow themselves up, because of what that persons on the internet, that's much more dangerous. So how do you get at those 10,000 people? How do you get them not to pick up the ak-47 and instead, do something more productive and positive with their life? Look at -- it might be too nuanced of an argument for some.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUILFOYLE: Oh, are you related to Jonathan Gruber? Or are we just stupid? Too nuanced of an argument, here's the SEAL who killed bin Laden.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ROB O'NEIL, NAVY SEAL WHO KILLED BIN LADEN: The state department, they're into diplomacy, and that's the kind of stuff they're going to say. Right now, I don't think we need diplomacy. We're going to need to use our military strategy. Right now, the people of ISIS, if you can call them people really, they get paid to cut off heads, to crucify children, to sell slaves and to cut off heads, and I don't think that -- you know, a change in career path is what's going to stop them.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUILFOYLE: All right, Bolling, good point. Is this about jobs? Is it about poverty? I mean, they don't need an ISIS job fair, do they have the local college campus.

BOLLING: Marie Harf had an opportunity to explain herself a little bit better -- where she was coming from. I actually understand where -- what the argument is. I get what she's coming, which is not -- now is not the time. But for her to say --

GUILFOYLE: But that doesn't apply in Detroit, Bolling.

BOLLING: Wait a minute. For her to say -- hold on.

GUILFOYLE: Instead of here?

BOLLING: For her to say -- hold on, you guys just don't get it, it may be too nuanced for you small people with smaller -- smaller minds and not as smart as us. Let me give you a quick story. I'm in a trading for spent 18 years on the trading floor. We loved when those Harvard and Columbia graduates would come down on the trading floor. We just adored it, because they spent their last five or six years in the books and not on the streets. They didn't know what was going on. We took all their little trust funds away from them and sent them back on their way. That's what this is. This is a Political Science (ph) major who is now -- somehow who got a nice job in the state department is now speaking on behalf of the American people saying, it's all about jobs, not about terror, you're not -- you know -- and if you don't get that, you're not smart enough. That's offensive and dangerous by the way.

GUILFOYLE: Well, she's part of that Kabal, (ph) though. This is what they believe. The American apologist, that American exceptionalism, American greed, and lack of sharing opportunity with beheaders is a result now of what we're seeing in this jihad. I know you look quizzically at me now, Juan. Why is that?

WILLIAMS: Because I think she was saying that the people who went after her on the internet and who's made it seem as if the United States wasn't fighting a war in addition to saying we have to address issues like poor governance in the Middle East where you have all these dictators and mullahs and people who want to tell you everything. To me this is a legitimate argument. I think air Eric's right. I understand the argument, but if you want -- you know, just focus on the fact that she said nuanced.

GUILFOYLE: But it's not that --

WILLIAMS: It's like we're back.

GUILFOYLE: Yeah.

WILLIAMS: We're just -- we're just making fun of her, but gosh, I think she was something --

(CROSSTALK) GUTFELD: It's such a weird thing when -- when people make fun of people for -- no one ever made fun of Sarah Palin for what she said.

WILLIAMS: Oh, is this payback?

GUTFELD: Yes, it's.

WILIAMS: Oh, I think --

GUTFELD: It is payback. I mean, she's as nuanced as a cartoon Malik, (ph) for her to even like say, that into say -- people aren't as smart as she is, saying -- her calling somebody stupid is like the moon calling something round. I'm sorry, but every time you hear her, you cringe. What's scares me is, we are up again -- I said this before, probably the most cohesive caliphate attempt in a millennium. And you turn on the T.V. and you see that, you see a skit. A skit of pretenders, this is not a serious person who should be up there defending or talking about how we're going to defend ourselves. When you listen to her talk, and you see a lot of these people in the White House, you feel like you're watching the model U.N. or some weird camp show at Epcot center. I don't even know what I'm saying.

GUILFOYLE: I don't know that they would even hire her. Dana, what should she be saying?

PERINO: Well, I think, she should not.

GUILFOYLE: She should not speak anymore.

PERINO: OK.

GUILFOYLE: Perfect. PERINO: No, this is my point, and this is a little bit of advice. If the deputy spokesperson at the Department of State is the lead story for three days in a row --

GUILFOYLE: Well.

PERINO: You have a serious problem. There are several people in the State Department, career Foreign Service officers, political appointees of some stature and Senate confirmed, who should be out trying to explain the president's policy. Instead, they have her go into it, and I think she's got some good points, but I think when you are a spokesperson, you become the story. The spokesperson is the story. You have got the formula wrong. So that's why I would just stop talking.

GUILFOYLE: And that's why she didn't handle it.

BOLLING: Do you remember who the other spokesperson from the State Department was? I think it was Boko Haram, Jen Psaki, who held up a sign with #bringbackourgirls. What are they doing? This is how they combat terrorism with.

GUTFELD: That's their strategy.

BOLLING: Bringbackourgirls sign.

GUILFOYLE: We have choices, 2016.

BOLLING: And let's get jobs through terrorists.

GUTFELD: Their strategy is --

GUILFOYLE: But they're -- they're not juxtaposing (ph) extension of the administration, so this is what you get, so think about your choices, 2016.

WILLIAMS: Well now, I think Dana's on target. I mean obviously, if she's the -- if Marie Harf is the story, the administration is losing.

GUILFOYLE: She's 100 percent right, yeah.

WILLIAMS: But let me just say, I -- I just think that the premise at this table is you've got to have a military approach.

GUILFOYLE: Right.

WILIAMS: And that's not going to win.

GUTFELD: No, no, no.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: You have to have a strategy. And right now the strategy that they have is symbolism. There's no substance here. There are hashtags, there are seminars.

WILLIAMS: What you think we're fighting?

GUILFOYLE: Yeah.

GUTFELD: There are pastries and ice water.

WILLIAMS: We're not fighting?

PERINO: And what happened, Bob -- what happened Juan to --

GUILFOYLE: We're fighting at linguistic war.

PERINO: The whole re-election was based on the tide of war is receding, and Al Qaeda is on the run. Now, let's just take it a step further. The thing - - the follow-up question to her is, then, OK, so then what is the administration's plan to provide jobs?

GUILFOYLE: Well, let's see. Let's take it a step further because.

GUTFELD: Put them on the third layer.

GUILFOYLE: Former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld addressed the ISIS threat on Fox News last night. He brought up history to remind Americans to recognize what's happening today.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DONALD RUMSFELD, FORMER SECRETARY OF DEFENSE: It brings back to mind the period before World War II where people said I didn't know, or I was just following orders, or it's random. But when you kill, systematically kill Jews and kill Christians, and say that's what you're doing, it's not random. It's purposeful. The only way you can deal with something like that is to put it up on the table, call it what it is deal with it.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUILFOYLE: All right, Greg?

GUTFELD: Well, just to finish my thought, tactics without a strategy, it feel like musical instruments without a song. It's like a child banging a piano. That's why you get that -- you get this feeling when you're listening to Harf. It's like you feel like the adults have left the room. And -- also, I do, and I will say this again. These are -- these are people who are victims of ocean privilege or practitioners of ocean privilege. They're not taking this seriously, because it's way, way far away, and it won't affect them. And this whole job thing was a distraction away from religion. ISIS has created more jobs than President Obama. Sadly, they're all shovel ready.

GUILFOYLE: Well, Dana.

PERINO: No kidding.

BOLLING: Nice.

PERINO: My -- so, my husband Peter was driving last night and listening -- listening to Fox News.

GUTFELD: Let's be nice.

PERINO: In the Greta's show. And he called me afterwards, and he said that interview was Rumsfeld was excellent, and I can see why. Now -- some people bristled at his kind of plain talk, OK? I like it.

GUILFOYLE: I like it.

PERINO: The American people like it. When you have academics speak that only speaks to a certain part of the population that understands, because they understand nuance so much better than we all do, it is refreshing to hear someone say, here's the deal. We've got a problem. It is complex. Here's what we should do. Here's how we should back it up, period. Then people will follow. That's what leaders need to do, be very clear so that they can get people to come along.

GUILFOYLE: Yeah, we're picking up what he's putting down -- probably.

BOLLING: Very quick, he maybe that's the strategy. Maybe, it's put Marie Harf up there, make her say something as ridiculous as that is, and everyone says, "Oh my gosh, Marie Harf, did you hear what she said?" Instead of saying, "We really don't have a strategy and ISIS is winning."

WILLIAMS: You know I have to --

BOLLING: I don't know if --

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: I shouldn't say that.

WILLIAMS: I just want Jordan, the Saudis, the Arab Emirates -- I want those guys to get involved. I think their people are getting killed now very publicly, in the way that we've seen others targeted. You know, Secretary Rumsfeld talked about Christians and Jews. Muslims are getting killed.

PERINO: Right.

WILLIAMS: Where's the Muslim world in this fight?

PERINO: They are -- I don't think that's fair. Fair, but they're not.

WILLIAMS: Of course it's fair.

PERINO: But I'm saying that they are -- they are fighting. They are providing arms.

GUILFOYLE: They're -- they're stepping up.

PERINO: They're providing money. They're providing the --

BOLLING: Airstrikes.

PERINO: Airstrikes, the kind of pilots.

WILLIAMS: Very few.

PERINO: They only --

WILLIAMS: Very few.

GUILFOYLE: Because they have. WILIAMS: They should be on the front lines, not the United States.

PERINO: The entire military of Jordan is 60,000 people, the entire military.

WILLIAMS: Right.

GUILFOYLE: Yeah.

PERINO: So what more could they do? They could put all 60,000 there. Then - - that's not enough. But the point is --

WILLIAMS: Well, they can get together, get Jordan --

GUILFOYLE: Jordan isn't slushy.

WILLIAMS: Get the Kuwait -- PERINO: That is a pipe dream.

GUILFOYLE: Including their thing.

PERINO: That is a pipe dream.

GUILFOYLE: All right. Let's get along. Next on The Five, your 2016 update including a big foreign policy speech today from Jeb Bush, who had some tough words for President Obama's global strategy. Stay tuned.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: New 2016 developments. Let's begin with Jeb Bush, the likely GOP contender gave an early preview of his foreign policy vision today in Chicago, and he shared these thoughts about President Obama's global strategy.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JEB BUSH, FORMER FLORIDA GOVERNOR: The great irony of the Obama presidency is this. Someone who came to office promising greater engagements with the world has left America less influential in the world. They draw red lines, and then erase them. With grandiosity, they announce resets and then disengage. Hashtag campaigns replace actual diplomacy and engagement. Personal diplomacy and maturity is replaced by leaks and personal disparagement. The examples keep piling up. President Obama called ISIS the junior varsity, four days after they took Fallujah.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: The former Florida governor also used the opportunity to distinguish himself from President's 41 and 43, his father and his brother, on foreign affairs.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

J. BUSH: I've also been fortunate to have a father and a brother who helped shape America's foreign policy from the oval office. I admire their service to the nation and the difficult decisions that they had to make. But I'm my own man, and my views are shaped by my own thinking and my own experiences. New circumstances require new approaches.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: OK, so Juan, everyone's been waiting for this, right. Each of the candidates has having to distance themselves from somebody. Jeb probably has the more difficult task than all of them. Do you think that he did it well?

WILLIAMS: Yeah, he did.

PERINO: Today?

WILLIAMS: You know -- I confess, I think he's pretty strong candidate, but the problem is his last name for people who think, oh, we've had enough of Bush's in the White House, the last two Republican Presidents.

GUTFELD: Like Clinton.

WILLIAMS: Well, yeah, that's a good retort. That's legit. That's not a joke. I mean, seriously, you could say that, especially if Clinton is the opposite. So here he comes, and I think the most important thing he said today, all the anti-Obama stuff you can expect, but what he said that was important is he's his own man. Now, clearly people who are going to say oh, you know, don't forget the last two wars, we're not happy. Weapons of mass -- go on and on, or go back to his dad on the military, the CIA. Here he is saying he's separate. And now, I'm not sure that he laid out how he's separate, but the idea that he would be willing to take the family friction, I imagine when he goes home, somebody's going to say what do you mean, you're separate from me? But --

PERINO: I think that they all expected it. Eric, I wanted to ask you this about, his -- the first shot that he took was against Obama. And it was about Iran, which is -- there's actually bipartisan agreement in the Congress against what the administration is planning to do with Iran.

GUILFOYLE: It's a good choice.

PERINO: Not complete, but a lot of -- disappointment with the President on that. Do you think that was a smart move, or should he have done something a little bit more risky?

BOLLING: I think he was -- I think you're right. It was a very safe and multi (ph) your point of sending out that's important. He was a very safe - - address. He talked about the things you would expect him to talk about. I don't think he varied from -- of the script whatsoever. But why should he right now? He seems to be the front liner -- runner. He seems things seem to be going his way. The issues that are going to haunt him -- yeah, maybe the Bush name will haunt him, but the things like -- you know, his stance on Common Core, his stance on immigration, those are things.

PERINO: Right.

BOLLING: That he'll have to work through.

PERINO: But we're talking about --

BOLLING: This is --

PERINO: Foreign policy, OK.

BOLLING: Were -- fair enough, but again, -- was he going to bring anything new to the table? I'm not sure.

PERINO: Well, I don't know if you had a chance to view the Q&A. He gave a discriminated peach and then afterwards a Q&A that was pretty free-ranging. What did you think?

GUTFELD: You know I've been skeptical of -- Bush. I have to say this is a very key speech, because of the foreign policy. A candidate that has going to win, no Beyonc,, no gay marriage, no war on women, you -- President Obama and his administration has handed you the issue, and that is the world is in peril. Jeb criticized Obama on Iraq, on Iran, on ISIS, on Israel. Isn't it weird that everything Obama's screwed up begins with the letter, I?

(LAUGHTER)

GUTFELD: Anyway. The key --

GUILFOYLE: Whoa, yeah.

GUTFELD: Yeah. The key is -- Jeb Bush has to renew America as a -- as an intimidating military power that should be more feared than liked. Expressing strength in certitude of mission? You do that you will win the White House, because that's what America looks for. Stay away from the social stuff, foreign policy all the way.

PERINO: So that's interesting. Kimberly, I was going to ask you about this. So, foreign policy usually is not a very big determinant in a -- Presidential election. It's usually more --

GUILFOYLE: The economic.

PERINO: Economic stuff. Unless there is reason for there to be foreign policy at the front center and right now, the election were held tomorrow, that certainly would be forefront.

GUILFOYLE: To all (ph) there is reason, big reason to focus on it, to put it at the forefront of the issues, and that's why people have a choice. And you know what? I'm going to evaluate him on his own merits. I don't care what his last name is. I want somebody whose going to be decisive and strong and formidable in the White House. And if he's the guy, then so -- so be it. Good, he has the benefit of experience from being right there up close with the family, with the two predecessors, with his father, with his brother. OK, great. But guess what? When Bush left, we were in a better position than we are now after six years of President Obama with respect to our relationship with our allies, and we were certainly more feared by our enemies. So I'll take that any day of the week.

PERINO: Well --

WILLIAMS: Let me pick up on what Greg said. I quiet.

PERINO: I quiet.

(LAUGHTER)

PERINO: No matter -- let make no mistake, to use somebody's.

GUTFELD: Yeah.

PERINO: Favorite phrase, that no matter who the Republican nominee is, the left will tag them as wanting to take them back into the Bush years.

WILLIAMS: Yeah.

GUILFOYLE: Right.

PERINO: That will be the tagline.

WILLIAMS: That's right.

GUILFOYLE: Any Republican person has to combat against that.

PERINO: Yeah.

GUILFOYLE: And try to distinguish --

BOLLING: But they will stay for years.

GUTFELD: Yeah. What heard (ph) is that?

GUILFOYLE: There is. That's my point. We were better off. And people knew Bush was --

PERINO: Got a line point?

GUTFELD: Well, this -- goes back to Hillary, though. Why is she so entitled? Because she -- she was secretary of state, and the reset button turned out to be a detonator. There's nothing that she can claim that worked. So I don't see how the Democrats can just say, OK, it's you after all of this.

GUILFOYLE: But who else is --

PERINO: But watched them.

GUILFOYLE: Elizabeth Warren.

GUTFELD: Yeah.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: What's his name?

BOLLING: Who?

PERINO: Which one?

GUTFELD: The dude. I can't think, Webb.

BOLLING: What?

WILLIAMS: Jim Webb?

GUTFELD: Yeah.

WILLIAMS: What Webb?

PERINO: From Virginia?

GUTFELD: Yeah. We had him.

PERINO: OK, sure. I like him.

BOLLING: He's the candidate --

WILLAIMS: Oh, oh, oh, that is a candidate.

PERINO: Yeah, I got to run.

WILLIAMS: Oh, I see.

BOLLING: Is Chelsea Clinton in politics at all?

WILLIAMS: No.

BOLLING: Because I can't handle this.

(LAUGHTER)

PERINO: I think she will be.

GUTFELD: Wait a minute. What about Roger Clinton?

GUILFOYLE: Aha.

PERINO: OK.

WILLAIMS: That's a good one.

PERINO: I'm going to go. Ahead, one of the President's --

(LAUGHTER)

PERINO: The cousins (ph) closest adviser says there have been no major White House scandals over the last six years. Really? Greg helps jog David Axelrod's memory, next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: David Axelrod is proud of what, you say? Listen.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DAVID AXELROD, DEMOCRATIC ADMINISTRATION: I'm proud of the fact that basically, you've had an administration that's been in place for six years in which there hasn't been a major scandal. And I think that says a lot about the ethics, you know, of this administration.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Clap. No major scandal? No major scandal? Maybe if you adhere to some absurd high standard, it's true. It turns out Joe Biden is not a crayon-eating space ghost. And Obama hasn't been devouring expensive show dogs as midnight snacks. And no, John Kerry is not really a highly-evolved tree. Some were wondering.

Axelrod's logic only works if you ignore slight matters like the IRS targeting civilians over their beliefs and covering it up. Blaming terror on a video that no one saw. Millions losing health care after being told they would keep it. The Bowe Bergdahl freak show. The tragic, forgotten V.A. deaths. The EPA's collusion with the green lobby. The Solyndra sinkhole.

So yes, no major scandals at all: the EPA, DOJ, NSA, HHS, V.A., IRS, ATF. If these aren't scandals, they're one hell of an eye chart.

The real scandal is this two-headed beast. One of ideology and one of accomplice. A mix of toxic ideologies immunized by fan boys in the media. If a progressive breaks the law in a forest full of media suck-ups, did it really happen?

The scandal isn't Obama's actions but those whose job was to report them. Instead they knitted their own blindfolds. To them each scandal was progress.

So sorry, Dave. Saying no major scandal is like saying no major pregnancies, especially when the media is your own personal Planned Parenthood.

GUILFOYLE: Wow! There's a lot going on there.

GUTFELD: There was a lot going on there. I'm a little hung over.

K.G., is this what you'd expect, though?

GUILFOYLE: Yes.

GUTFELD: Like, can you blame Axelrod? This is his side. It's his political ideology, and that trumps truth.

GUILFOYLE: Last time I checked, he wasn't on the payroll. What's the excuse? I actually prefer the honesty that we've seen from people like Leon Panetta, others that haven't been afraid to come out and tell the truth.

Axelrod knows better. He's a bright guy. I'm surprised that he can actually say with a straight face that there have been no major scandals. I mean, this is an administration that has been replete with scandals, and that is going to be a problem for Hillary Clinton, because if Obama's wearing the pants, she's the belt.

GUTFELD: Nice.

GUILFOYLE: Yes. You like that?

BOLLING: It's very nice.

GUTFELD: Eric, I liked the applause at the end. Wasn't that great applause?

BOLLING: He's selling a book.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BOLLING: He is -- that's what he's doing. He sat down with O'Reilly and made a couple of comments about Obama's pushing back on evolving on gay marriage and those types of things. So he's just being outrageous just to sell a book. This is what they seem to like to do.

Look, the left really doesn't think these are scandals, though.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BOLLING: I was reading a piece this morning from MSNBC, and they're literally quoting some of the things that we said at this table and saying...

GUILFOYLE: Again?

BOLLING: Yes. We're ginning up and manufacturing the story when there isn't one when we know the American people want to know what's going on. They want to hear about it and let us decide if it's scandal or not. Not the guy selling the books.

GUTFELD: Yes. Juan, you believe nothing that I mentioned at all on that list was a scandal?

WILLIAMS: The eye chart part, that was scandalous. But, I mean, people make mistakes. We were talking about everything from Fast and Furious to...

GUILFOYLE: IRS.

WILLIAMS: ... IRS. People make mistakes. People stumble. People do stupid things. Was any of it intentional and intended to line somebody's pocket? Is it a scandal in the way that we think about it? I just don't see it.

BOLLING: No, but you can also be scandalous by hiding it after the fact, like when people died at Benghazi, as Greg points out, they blamed the video. That's scandalous.

WILLIAMS: I mean, people loved (ph) Benghazi, I'll say that. But I don't see the scandal yet.

GUTFELD: The IRS e-mails. The IRS e-mails, the EPA. The EPA thing was crazy, Dana.

PERINO: The EPA was the director of the EPA, who is not supposed to be e- mailing off of her government account but had set up an alias named Richard Windsor.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: And she was e-mailing, like, all of the different groups. And then she just resigned quietly, and then it all went away, because the press didn't focus on it.

WILLIAMS: I agree, but how much of a scandal is that?

PERINO: Well, if the media doesn't press it, and that's to Greg's point. If you were to ask David Axelrod, OK, then that's your perspective. What were the scandals of the Bush administration?

GUTFELD: Right.

PERINO: They would say Karl Rove and Valerie Plame. Hmm. Turns out Karl Rove didn't leak the name. It was Richard Armitage, and the prosecutor knew it the whole time. But that's the scandal, because that's what the media followed for all of those years.

GUTFELD: Exactly, and put them in "Vanity Fair" as heroes.

PERINO: Yes.

GUTFELD: All right. Enough.

A-Rod -- who's he? -- resurfaces from his doping suspension with a dopey handwritten apology. Next on "The Five."

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BOLLING: Welcome back. Time for...

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(MUSIC)

GRAPHIC: Fastest 7

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: ... "The Fastest Seven Minutes on Television." Three diverse stories, seven dynamic minutes, one decorous -- or DEC-orous host.

First up, yesterday Alex Rodriguez delivered a written apology to baseball fans for taking performance-enhancing drugs. In it, he says, quote, "I take full responsibility for the mistakes that led to my suspension for the 2014 season. I accept the fact that many of you will not believe my apology or anything that I say at this point. I understand why, and that's on me."

But some are less likely to accept the serial late-season fader. It wasn't so long ago he swore he wasn't juicing, and then he was.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

KATIE COURIC, "60 MINUTES": For the record, have you ever used steroids, human growth hormone or any other performance enhancing substance?

ALEX RODRIGUEZ, PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL PLAYER: No. I did take a banned substance. And, you know, for that, I'm very sorry. And deeply regretful.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: So should we forgive and forget? We're going to take it around the horn starting at third base -- K.G.

GUILFOYLE: Well, I think it's never too late to apologize. I like a handwritten note just as much as the next gal.

BOLLING: OK. Shortstop, Juan.

WILLIAMS: I wouldn't believe a word out of his mouth. I mean, this is just so self-serving at this point.

GUILFOYLE: Well, better to have note said or done nothing at all?

WILLIAMS: Well, you know what? You notice he didn't go on TV and didn't have anybody talk to him about it.

BOLLING: Yes, but then we played it and showed him how he said, "No, I didn't. Yes, I did."

WILLIAMS: I'm sorry, not my hero.

BOLLING: Centerfield says you know what? You could eliminate all this if you just stop making performance-enhancing drugs against the rules in baseball.

Dana, second base.

PERINO: Excellent penmanship. I don't know. I don't really care.

BOLLING: OK.

PERINO: I mean, the thing is for me, I don't know enough about the sport. I don't -- I don't think people should do drugs. I don't do drugs. I think that he shouldn't have an unfair advantage over people.

And -- but baseball, it seems like you could get tens of millions of dollars, it doesn't matter what you do.

WILLIAMS: I thought you did steroids.

GUILFOYLE: Look at Greg's face.

GUTFELD: "Oh, I don't do drugs, so nobody else could." Well, let's create all the laws based on what you do.

PERINO: Oh, the world would be so calm and peaceful. Anyway...

GUTFELD: Oh, my God, it would be horrible.

PERINO: Wow!

GUILFOYLE: Wow.

GUTFELD: All right. But you said exactly what I was going to say, which is the story is the penmanship. His penmanship is amazing, because nobody...

GUILFOYLE: No one.

GUTFELD: ... can write anymore, because we're all using computers. Do you know that I got a check...

PERINO: That's why I like this.

GUTFELD: ... a check sent back from the bank, my mortgage check, because they said they couldn't read the number 13.

Tell them to wait. We're packing the show with too much crap. Have you tried to dial a rotary phone? You can't. You can't. Because you don't have the muscles!

BOLLING: No, no, got to move on.

GUILFOYLE: OK, Andy Rooney.

BOLLING: Boston has been hammered with snow this winter, and it seems Bostonians are crazy. They started a new fun thing, jumping from their windows. Snow jumping as they call it. But Mayor Martin Walsh thinks that's a bad idea.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MARTIN WALSH, MAYOR OF BOSTON: It's a foolish thing to do. And you could kill yourself. So I'm asking people to stop their nonsense right now when it comes -- these are adults jumping out windows. And the last thing we want to do is have to report to an emergency call where somebody jumped out the window, because they thought it was a funny thing to do.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: All right. So to get an idea of what the mayor is warning against, take a look at some of these stunts compiled by Jimmy Kimmel.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Jump.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Aaa!

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Blizzard challenge 2015. Three-story roof. Come on, baby. Woo-hoo!

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Shot out the (EXPLETIVE DELETED) window! Dang. Dang.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: All right, Greg.

GUTFELD: I'm all for this. I'm a big -- I'm a big proponent of survival of the fittest. If you can thin the herd, I'm all for it. Also, I don't like the government telling me what I can do with my body.

GUILFOYLE: Clearly, you don't listen.

PERINO: If you went into one of those drifts, no one would ever find you.

GUTFELD: Oh!

GUILFOYLE: What about you, Dana?

WILLIAMS: Ooh.

PERINO: I think that -- OK.

GUILFOYLE: Just a little snowflake.

PERINO: I would say to them, "You will be the last to be picked up by the ambulance if you do this. And when the ambulance comes, the charge will be times five, no appeal. You have to pay it."

GUILFOYLE: OK. Juan, you've jumped off a roof into snow, haven't you?

WILLIAMS: No.

BOLLING: I've done it.

WILLIAMS: You've done it?

BOLLING: Hell, yes. Yes.

WILLIAMS: You did this?

BOLLING: Yes.

GUILFOYLE: This explains everything, by the way.

BOLLING: One story, though, not three. One story. And I certainly went feet first, contrary to what all the liberals might think.

GUILFOYLE: I would never do that. I would only jump head first.

BOLLING: Did you hear the shot I just took from the left, from second base over here.

GUILFOYLE: Second base. He should have been the shortstop, actually.

BOLLING: This is amazing. Check out this "Wheel of Fortune" contestant nailing a 17-letter two-word puzzle. First you try it at home. Nina, roll that first part.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

PAT SAJAK, HOST, "WHEEL OF FORTUNE": The category is event, and Rufus, we start with you. A letter, please.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: "T."

SAJAK: One "T."

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: Did you get it yet? No? All right. Let's do it over now. Here's Rufus. Behold his amazingness.

GUILFOYLE: What was the...

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

SAJAK: A letter, please.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: "T."

SAJAK: One "T."

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Championship match.

SAJAK: Yes, that's right. Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa!

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUILFOYLE: Whoa!

BOLLING: How cool is that, Dana?

PERINO: I love "Wheel of Fortune." Here's the thing. If you are aware of the category and you're going to try to figure it out, you've got to start thinking about the category. There's not enough emphasis on that.

GUTFELD: Can I -- I have to disagree. That was one of the easiest puzzles I've ever seen. You look at the number -- you can tell just by the size of the words what it is by the number of syllables. If you -- I could have done that in the dark. By the way...

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh.

GUTFELD: He shouldn't have won, because he didn't frame the answer in the form of a question.

BOLLING: Exactly.

GUILFOYLE: That's "Jeopardy!" Whoa! I thought at first somebody's sleeping with Vanna, because how did he get the...

WILLIAMS: Oh, my goodness.

GUILFOYLE: I was just kidding.

BOLLING: Sajak is a big...

GUILFOYLE: No, with Vanna. Not with Pat.

BOLLING: Go ahead. No, no, I got what you mean. He was sleeping with Vanna; she gave him the answer prior to the...

GUILFOYLE: Not Pat. Not Pat.

BOLLING: Obviously. Anyway.

GUILFOYLE: Hi, Pat.

WILLIAMS: That was amazing. That was unbelievable. Because you know, I've got to think going back, the only way that I can deduce that he did this was that "championship" is such a long word.

GUTFELD: Long word. That's my point. It's easy, it's easy.

PERINO: Event, right? That's a category analysis. It's very important when you play every night.

GUILFOYLE: You should go on that for sure, but not with Kareem because that was a little awkward.

BOLLING: We've got to go. Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WILLIAMS: Last week the University of Massachusetts at Amherst decided to ban Iranian nationals from entering certain engineering and science programs. It cited a 2012 federal law that denies Iranian citizens visas if they plan to participate in coursework for a career in nuclear power in Iran. But after the decision made headlines, the State Department stepped in, and the school has reversed course -- Eric.

BOLLING: So the State Department stepped in and talked to the school, and they changed their mind, but in 2013, the Department of Homeland Security clarified the ruling, the 2012 ruling, saying Iranian -- this is their line, "Iranian citizens are ineligible for U.S. visas if they can seeking to participate in higher education in preparation for a career in Iran's petroleum, natural gas, nuclear energy, nuclear science or nuclear engineering fields. It's pretty plain right there in writing. They say they're not allowed.

WILLIAMS: So what the university said -- right. So what the university said is, "It's just getting too difficult to get through all the bureaucracy to clear anybody, so instead we'll just ban them." So what do you say, Dana?

PERINO: I -- I think that not having a clear policy leads to very sloppy results. And I think that if you -- out of the sectors that Eric just listed -- petroleum, natural gas, nuclear energy, nuclear science, nuclear engineering -- those are basically the fields that you would study if you came to study chemical engineering in the United States.

WILLIAMS: Right.

PERINO: I think it's a mess.

GUILFOYLE: A mess and you think they shouldn't have reversed course or no? I'm curious.

PERINO: I'm not sure. This is what I think. If an Iranian wants to come here and study, I think that we should allow them to study and then convert them to be working for our CIA. How about that?

WILLIAMS: That would be good.

GUILFOYLE: Interesting.

PERINO: Or let them stay here.

GUTFELD: That's what -- I was thinking, really, this is kind of a Cold War strategy. You really want to mess with Iran, have their students take the horrible classes that our students are already taking like women's studies or gender studies or social science, because they will learn absolutely nothing that will help them in the real world. They won't be able to get a real job. They will be completely useless. Teach them stuff that makes them...

PERINO: They might be nicer to women when they go back.

GUTFELD: That's a fair point.

WILLIAMS: But remember, there was a real story where, in fact, the CIA was giving the Iranians bad plans to make nuclear weapons, and then somebody told.

GUILFOYLE: That's hot (ph).

WILLIAMS: That led to a problem. But that would be a good way to do it. That would be, like, a spy novel.

GUILFOYLE: Well, they're less than a year away from being a nuclear breakout nation. So good job that we're ahead of the game.

WILLIAMS: All right. "One More Thing" coming right at you. Stay with us.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUILFOYLE: It's time now for "One More Thing." Greg, you have anything good?

GUTFELD: Yes. You know, one of the precursors to "The Five" was a classic show called "The McLaughlin Group," which I watched. It got me into politics. I watched it all the time. Well, now they're actually auditioning for new panelists. But when you're doing that, remember, you should always make sure that your panelists can get out of the chair. Let's take a look.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(VIDEO OF A BEAVER SITTING IN A CHAIR, THEN USING HIS TAIL TO PUSH HIMSELF ONTO A TABLE)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God, that's hilarious.

GUTFELD: Apparently, he'll be replacing Fred "The Beetle" Barnes.

PERINO: Oh, OK.

GUTFELD: I had nothing.

GUILFOYLE: OK, that was weird.

All right. Let's get on to one that's awesome, mine. OK, so, while people are snow diving head first or even naked in Boston -- it's questionable -- there is sunshine in another part of the world. Yes, Atlantis does exist. That is Ronan having a great time with a dolphin. I never got to do this.

GUTFELD: Who's the bald lady?

GUILFOYLE: That's a dolphin.

BOLLING: Why is she kissing him?

GUILFOYLE: Exactly.

GUTFELD: Perverse.

GUILFOYLE: Got to take it where you can get it. And feeding the dolphin, which is very cute, named Damini (ph). But anyway, and there he is. So a good time was had by all.

GUTFELD: That dolphin is a photo hog.

GUILFOYLE: Yes. There you go. I know, right. He's like "Take my picture again."

All right, Eric. What have you got?

BOLLING: OK. So today is Ash Wednesday, kicks off Lent for many, many Christians around the world. Advent Evangelical Lutheran Church in Florida, I think maybe? Florida? Ohio, I'm sorry. Decided to come up with an idea, drive-through ashes. You get your cross put right on your forehead. A lot of people are up in arms about it. I for one am absolutely OK with it. Listen.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

CAROL PASILLAS, PARISHIONER: I'm glad that he did a prayer. I miss having the communion, but I can do that on Sunday. So that's OK. I think God understands.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: Totally agree with that.

PERINO: Absolutely.

WILLIAMS: Yes, you know, my church does it at the Subway stop.

GUILFOYLE: I like that. I think it's good.

PERINO: It's nice.

GUILFOYLE: OK, and it's Chinese new year, too. So Ash Wednesday.

GUTFELD: Some facts aren't necessary.

GUILFOYLE: Thank you, Juan.

PERINO: It's also Wednesday.

WILLIAMS: Anyway, so it's a one-year anniversary of Jimmy Fallon on "The Tonight Show." And last night to celebrate, he and Taylor Swift, well, they pretended they were at the ballgame and did the dance cam. Take a look.

GUILFOYLE: Whoa.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JIMMY FALLON, HOST, NBC'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JIMMY FALLON": We're famous Jumbotron dancers.

(MUSIC)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Hey, Juan, you know when the producer gives you something for "One More Thing," you don't have to use it.

WILLIAMS: No, I liked that. Dana wanted to know if it was real. Dana was impressed. Come on.

GUILFOYLE: Dana said, "Do you think that's funny?"

WILLIAMS: Dana said to me -- didn't you ask me if it was real?

PERINO: I asked you if it was real because it wasn't funny. That's why I asked you if it was real, because it wasn't funny.

GUILFOYLE: We're running out of show time. This is why you're last, because you can get us out. Go.

PERINO: OK. I have a follower named Rory Holmes on Twitter, and he sent me this great "One More Thing" idea. So yesterday Greg talked about Brown University and how they were wanting to ban the ROTC. One kid was wanting to ban ROTC. A different things happens at Quinnipiac University. The men's hockey team wore camo. All their uniforms were camo, and when they played their hockey match the other day in honor of the student veterans...

GUILFOYLE: We're out. Bye.

PERINO: That's it?

GUILFOYLE: That's it. Bye.

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