Press playing word games with global Islamic terrorism

We are a country more worried about our reaction to evil than evil itself


This is a rush transcript from "The Five," February 16, 2015. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Greg Gutfeld along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Bob Beckel, Eric Bolling, and she gets lost in a shag rug, it's Dana Perino. This is "The Five."

A gunman shouts "Allahu Akbar" on a rampage through Copenhagen, targeting a bar mitzvah, killing two. The root cause? Obviously, a criminal gang.


NIC ROBERTSON, CNN CORRESPONDENT: New details emerge about the 22-year-old gang member who killed two civilians and injured several police officers in a frightening attack over the weekend.


GUTFELD: Yes, you see he's a gang member. And here we have the latest installment of "NIDNI: Nope, It's Definitely Not Islam." It's that reoccurring game show where a paralyzing case of Islamophobia dictates no linking Islam to terror.

Yes, whether it's beheaded Christians or murders at synagogue, there's never a common thread. Well, unless you count climate change, which creates a brutal heat that drives men to murder. If we haven't been driving all those SUVs, those folks might have lived.

So never mind the "Allahu Akbar" shouts or killer targeting the Mohammad-drawing cartoonist. The synagogue? Totally random. He thought it was a Best Western. Because for the media and our president, Islam is that scary neighbor who plays music too loud and we're all too petrified to ask him to turn it down.

So instead the press finds another worry, something called "mission creep." Yes, that shift toward long-term military commitment. I mean, you can see ISIS is now a threat in eight countries. The U.S. says it wants to defeat ISIS. Isn't mission creep inevitable now?


CAROL COSTELLO, CNN ANCHOR: You can see ISIS is now a threat in eight countries. The U.S. says it wants to defeat ISIS. Isn't mission creep inevitable now?


GUTFELD: And so, we're a country more worried about our reaction to evil than to evil itself, which leads to one question: Who guards you from the maniacs we cannot name? The answer won't be found on CNN, but maybe at the golf course, his head still buried in the sand trap.

All right K.G.


GUTFELD: It was a banner weekend for evil, you had the attack at Denmark.

GUILFOYLE: Evil stole the show.

GUTFELD: Yeah, and you have a horrible video of 21 Egyptian Catholic Christians being beheaded. Where do we go from here?

GUILFOYLE: How about let's eliminate the word degrade from the Lexicon and let's just go with destroy. Because no matter what anybody says like Bob to my left and I do mean to my left, this is not a problem that is going away. They are not getting weaker. In fact, they are gaining ground. Now it's not just the United States'problem and I agree with Panetta. We've got to step in and do something about it. Otherwise, it's going to be a problem. You can't continue to try and look for someone else to lead, take the charge. We certainly now I think have enough support from other countries because it has become everyone's problem. So let's unify with this and have our president do that.

GUTFELD: You know, Bob, Egypt Air Force bombed ISIS targets in Libya. That's a good thing, right?

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Absolutely.

GUTFELD: When does this become an argue genocide? When do we look at this the same way we might have looked at Rwanda and get away from this?

BECKEL: When it comes to Catholic Christians, it is genocide. This is the first religion in that area, and it historically go back and now, they're murdering. It's genocide and the worst type of genocide. You know, the most frightening thing that happened is there's not a communications link cable to Europe from the Middle East and it's one country you don't want to pick on. Egypt is one of them and Saudi will be the other. Egypt with a strong air force and good intelligence and they took their own country.

Eric, what do you make of this? The fact that CNN goes and looks at the background of a killer and says well, he's part of a criminal gang?

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: All weekend long all of these are local criminals who are easily persuaded to join a fight, but not part of any terrorists. I heard that over and over all weekend long. That's not unlike what could happen here. That's part of the problem. If there's no link to another group of people, they could say these are lone wolves and maybe what they're doing over there is the -- I don't know, the model for what may happen here. Can I talk about the ISIS video for a second?


BOLLING: I've watched all of them. This one, for some reason, particularly stood out to me. To see that many people executed at once. Look, I don't recommend doing it unless you're already saying how much worse can they get? If you're there then watch this one because they do step it up. It's not one person -- it's not one person burned, it's one person or two people being beheaded. This is 21 people and they're crying out by these men who are being beheaded is chilling. It's awful. It tells you what the ISIS group is about. If you want to really get angry and you want to really just re-synthesize yourself to what's going on, just watch it. It's five minutes long and it's a well produced video. But I will tell you, you'll come out of that with renewed hate of ISIS.

GUTFELD: You know, the thing, Dana, the people that were executed were not soldiers. They were laborers. They're just guys.

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: There is no rule about civilians or soldiers any longer in this fight. I think there was a time I told the story before but I think it's worth repeating. In Syria, the war against civilians has basically blurred the lines because the war is actually here on your phone. I remember in the story of the young man told by the checkpoint guard to give him his phone. Didn't want to give up his phone, the soldier insisted give me the phone or I'll shoot you. He hands over the phone, he was forced to give up his password. The guy scrolled through his Facebook page, sees something he doesn't like, points to a sniper up on a building, and they shoot him dead in front of his brother. This is a type of psychological warfare that's going to go on. That's why we call this war and how we define it is going to inform how we decide to fight it for the long run. This is not going to end by the end of the administration.


PERINO: As much as they might like to be able to say this is going to be over, the ideological warfare will go on for 50 or 60 years, and then something we're not absolutely prepared to plan for because of what you said earlier, which is this mission creep. They have already creeped on our mission.


PERINO: So we have to do something about it.

GUTFELD: Yeah, these creeps need a mission creep.


GUTFELD: I want to transition because you made a good point. There is a Graham wood, Kimberly wrote an article in the Atlantic basically asking a question we have asked many times, how do you fight something that cheers its own near obliteration? They don't mind being murdered.


GUTFELD: Because they see that as the next step to Nirvana.

GUILFOYLE: It's part of their path.

GUTFELD: Yeah, so how does America fight that? Is mission creep inevitable?

GUILFOYLE: I guess. We shouldn't be worried about that. We should be worried about taking them out completely and destroying them, obliterating them, so nobody can be attracted to the Jihadist ideology that they spread. Just shut it down completely. They're naive to think they're not going to. Even the pope guessed it and is speaking out about it. It's sad to me that in this day and age, what is it going to take for people to build the strength to combat and confront them and unify over it? That's the problem. What else is it going to take? How many beheadings? How many people burned alive? How many countries are they going to gain ground in, Bob? You say their losing steam and I say they're not. They're marching forward and look at all the areas that are compromised, Central Asia, too.

BECKEL: What I find amazing is they are building a coalition for us.


GUILFOYLE: They don't care.

BECKEL: Well, they don't care, but what they're doing is adding the opposition it feeds more and more strength to our side of the state and I think they're not stupid people. They're evil people, not stupid. There's got to be a reason they're doing this. And for some reason, it's like they want to get Egypt brotherhood stirred up. I don't know.

BOLLING: They've moved the fight up. They said we're not going to keep this within the Arab world anymore.


BOLLING: They point to Rome and said we're going to conquer our Rome next.

GUILFOYLE: What did Italy say?


BOLLING: Killing people on the shores of the Mediterranean Sea, with the blood. I mean, you literally see blood rolling in the surf. It says look, we're actually Europe, too. Whatever they're doing, they don't care who they're ticking off. They will tick off Arabs.


GUILFOYLE: They're blind by Jihad.

BOLLING: But it's also recruiting. We talked about 20,000 foreign fighters who have taken up arms in favor of ISIS because of stuff like this. Honestly, I don't know if you know. Last week, I mentioned do something like we know Rocka (ph) is their headquarters -- it's their administrative headquarters. They have several training areas around. Date certain, April 1st, May 1st, whatever date, get out or you're going to be obliterated with the rest of them and just carpet bomb the places and see what happens. Because whatever -- what do they call them? Whack-A-Mole air strikes, it doesn't seem to affect them.

GUILFOYLE: Well, this is what we have been saying from the beginning. Let's just wait and see. We don't want boots on the ground. Let's just hit them but it hasn't been sufficient. In fact, it's been woefully insufficient. Because now, they have ground in Iraq, they have ground in Syria, they have ground in Indonesia. If you look, they're actually -- the map is quite disconcerting. Take a look at it right there. These are countries with ISIS or affiliate activity, and they're getting help and support from groups like (inaudible) as well. This is spreading and proliferating. Don't get me wrong, when they see videos like this, it's (inaudible) for depraved sociopaths that want to join up. I don't think the well is going to run dry at recruits.

PERINO: That map does not include Boko Haram and Nigeria.



PERINO: . which has been in direct communication with ISIS. It doesn't include the Houthis that just took over the government in Yemen. And you have Hezbollah which is increasing its muscle in Lebanon. And so I think that the other thing we have to look at is the underpinnings of all of this. So you have ideology war and Iran that very much wants to be the leader.

GUILFOYLE: Nuclear Iran.

PERINO: That's where it all comes down to that debate which is why I think hopefully, when the president comes back and the congress gets back, it will be time to get serious about it.

BECKEL: The thing they need to get serious about here -- we're way past the Islamic terrorists -- you know, what are you really going to do? That strategy I think I said this last week, I can't in good conscience stick with Obama on this. I've slept through fairly rough seas I'd say, but on this one, I don't get it, I don't see where it's going and I just think at some point -- you know what is going to end this? I think probably another terrorist organization. I mean, if you look at one that says these guys are going to take over this whole movement? Is this going to be their time? I don't know.

GUILFOYLE: That's one of the schools of thought that says let them go, fight each other, and battle it out, that's not a good strategy.



PERINO: It wasn't just a member of a criminal gang, he might be a different type of terrorist, this new psychological profile of a criminal who actually then gets some direction from ISIS in order to carry out the attack in Copenhagen. When you want to shut down our borders to say well, let's let all of them fight it.


PERINO: It's in our interest. What happens matter over there, does matter to us.

GUILFOYLE: It does matter. It's like saying let the bloods and creeps shoot it out in Compton.


BECKEL: To add this coalition of ours, whatever you want to call it, it's nothing but a good thing. I mean, the more you talk, you bring in the people to help on our side. I think it goes back and forth. The best recruiters not just for terrorists, but also for people.


BOLLING: So is this going to be a third World War? Is it going to be the radical Islam?


GUILFOYLE: We're already in it.

PERINO: We're already in it. They won't label it that.

BOLLING: The problem is the coalition is there, but the coalition isn't completely there.



GUILFOYLE: No one wants to call it World War III.


GUTFELD: This is a big a challenge as communism was, I think.


BECKEL: World War I, World War II, we had to defeat entirely nations, right?


BOLLING: That's the problem. It's the Islamic state. Once you declare a state a nation then maybe you do get a coalition and have everyone.

GUILFOYLE: You do. They're electing their own leaders and they're printing their own currency.


GUTFELD: Where do they get all their pickup trucks?

BECKEL: That's a good question.

BOLLING: From Syria.

GUTFELD: Oh, OK. You see all these new pickup trucks. Let's go to the dealer.

BOLLING: I think the Iraqis gave it to them.

GUTFELD: All right, we got to move on. That's one of President Obama's former defense secretaries voices concerns about his ISIS strategy. Stay tuned.


GUILFOYLE: Now, that has just put me in a good mood, but this doesn't.

President Obama and his advisers frequently like to remind us that he ended the war in Iraq and Afghanistan.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: As we pointed out, we have 180,000 troops in Iraq and Afghanistan when the president took office and there are 15,000 there now, so history is hard to judge in the moment. And I think history will record that he did bring those troops home.


GUILFOYLE: But is that legacy really something to taut with ISIS and other terror networks retaking control of parts of the region. Even the president's allies on the left and in the media are questioning his foreign policy strategy and his commitment to defeating ISIS.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We have another American hostage killed and congress and the president goes off to California to do a fundraiser and some other stuff and the congress goes on vacation and we'll debate what to do on all this. But we're going to do it as long as it fits into the schedule.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You said the U.S. should have armed the moderate rebels in Syria a couple of years ago. Do you think that would made a difference at this point in this fight against ISIS?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: There's no question in my mind that some mistakes were made here.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: There's never been a time when there are more threats to the United States than there is now. So as I said once before, we're either going to fight them there or we're going to fight them here.


GUILFOYLE: So that's the decision as it presents itself. And that was Senator Dianne Feinstein, do we fight them there. I think we have to fight them on both fronts to be quite honest, especially with what we've been seeing with Copenhagen and terror attacks abroad. They're bringing the fights to shores just like you said, Eric, with the blood spilling in the Mediterranean Sea. They want us to feel that ISIS is everywhere.

BOLLING: They're on the march. That's their next conquest. They're going to take Europe. They talked about getting the White House, too, taking out the president's family. They have eyes on the prize. They want to continue to expand. I find it interesting you hear CBS now saying well, maybe the president should not have golfed this weekend or the fundraised. You have Dianne Feinstein who has become strong in fighting ISIS. It just proves -- there is more proof that no one really knows what to do with them. We do have 250,000 fighters in the area, we do have 200,000 or so Iraqi fighters.

GUILFOYLE: But why have we been so slow to help arm the Kurds properly?


BOLLING: That has always been the recommendation absolutely from this table. There's been no one that disagreed arming the Kurds to the fullest extent. The question is putting American boots on the ground or Arab boots on the ground fighting ISIS? One of the other questions has been -- I guess one of the sound bites pointed out should we have armed the rebels in Syria and we know some of those rebels went off in ISIS. So the question is it gets really dicey in the Middle East. Again, I think you continue to bombard them from the air, Americans, and let the Arabs fight.

BECKEL: You know, you said that's a fundamental question. I think that is. Let me ask you how you win this. Other world wars we've had, we've won by taking a bomb, or we have taken a place that was symbolic or in fact, the head of the capitol of that country. We don't have that. (Inaudible). Where do you stop and say OK.


BOLLING: You said that's a good start.

BECKEL: I'm just asking. How do you declare -- let's say you put all the boots on the ground. How do you declare?

BOLLING: I think you can, can you?

GUILFOYLE: This is part of the problem, Dana. First of all, let's talk about this. Pull up this full screen. Fox News poll on ISIS strategy, does the president in fact have a strategy? The administration for defeating the Islamic extremist group ISIS, Yes or No, 73 percent say no in this poll say no, 19 percent say yes. Dana, what is the strategy and how does he communicate it to a point where he can coalition bills. Be I think the time is now.

PERINO: I would imagine the White House would say we have told you over and over again what our strategy is.


PERINO: I pay pretty close attention to this. I actually don't understand the strategy. They need to figure out some way to crystallize it for us to say this is what we're trying to do. Because it seems like every week there's another nugget that comes forward. However, I am for all the other countries getting involved. Let me give you an example.


PERINO: The entire military, all branches of the Emirates -- the United Emirates military is 60,000 people. The entire military in Saudi Arabia is 100,000 people and probably not very sophisticated. Jordan has about the same, 60,000. That's the things the military is supposed to do for those countries. And if we lead from behind and let them take the lead, that presents consequences that we might be opening up -- sorry, Greg, a Pandora's Box of problems in the Middle East. I think America is stronger when we're leading the world and the world is a better place for it. I'm for these people helping, but they can't do it on their own. They don't have the capacity or the capability to do it. It's a pipe drain to think that they do.

GUILFOYLE: It's actually a recipe for failure if we don't take the lead on it. Because as you said, the rest of our allies that are trying to do their best, they have limited resources, so how is it that we can expect -- no, Bob. In terms of a conservative effort, put forward the strategy with the leader at the beginning of this, at the helm, taking the wheel versus America in the little basket on the side of the bike.


BECKEL: That is unfair. Come on.


GUILFOYLE: No, Bob. It's a matter of being focused and say this is what we're doing. Stop looking for everyone else to clean up the mess.


BOLLING: If you add these numbers together, we didn't include Egypt which is out in front. They have a much bigger military. And I want to know what you're talking about. The United States pilots who are bombing over there. We've spent the last decade a trillion dollars.


PERINO: Totally squandered by President Obama.

GUILFOYLE: Yeah, squandered because.


PERINO: Why are we fighting ISIS now, Bob?


BECKEL: I think we are fighting ISIS.

PERINO: No, because we took our eyes off.


PERINO: How did that allow them to get so much territory and to recruit so many people and to operate with absolute abandon?

BECKEL: ISIS has been around and whatever you want to call it, for a very long time and do I think they took advantage of the politics? Yes, I think they did. These people are determined to be successful and I want to know where it is we put together a coalition willing to fight every extreme radical that is a Muslim. I don't see it yet. You say put your best foot forward, I didn't see -- England hasn't done as much as the United States does, Canada, Australia.

GUILFOYLE: Have we done as much as we can do, Bob? That's what you need to be focused on.


BECKEL: I think the answer to that is we're doing absent soldiers on the ground, I think we're doing what we can do.

GUILFOYLE: We're not. That's not a truthful statement, Greg.

GUTFELD: The underlying philosophy here is that President Obama is bummed. Radical Islam is the flat tire to the Go Cart that was supposed to take him to this wonderful road of fundamental change. He wasn't interested in the world at large. He was interested in changing the United States to suit his progressive needs. And somehow, evil got in the way. He's guilty of what I would call, ocean privilege. He felt he didn't have to worry about what was going on out there because the United States was impervious to these invading hoards. It's an incredibly selfish attitude. It's not that he doesn't think that terror is a big deal, it's just not the biggest deal to him. We have so many other things like gender and race and global warming, the apocalyptic threat to our freedoms by radical Islamic hoards, just doesn't rate, so he had rather sit it out like a bad storm. He's sitting in a diner waiting on the storm to pass so he can get back on the road. It's not going to pass and he's got to face it.


GUILFOYLE: Evil in ISIS is Obama's buzz kill.


GUILFOYLE: Global warming and everything else.

Coming up, Jeb Bush clears a major hurdle if he decides to run in 2016. His mom. What Former First Lady Barbara Bush has to say now about another family member trying for the White House.

Plus, Saturday Night Live's 40th fiesta.

Well, the highlights from SNL's reunion extravaganza ahead.


PERINO: Governor Scott Walker getting a lot of attention in the GOP race for 2016, making him a ripe target for scrutiny in the liberal opinion pages. The New York Times just published a hit piece on the Wisconsin governor, an op-ed by Gail Collins, titled "Scott Walker Needs an Eraser." But Collins didn't do her homework, and she's the one who ended up having to issue a correction after falsely blaming a politician for teacher lay- offs in the state that occurred before he was even governor.


PERINO: Are liberals are so desperate, Greg, to tear down any potential GOP nominee that they don't even bother learning more about them before they write?

GUTFELD: You have to understand that. You can't blame Gail Collins. This is her volunteer work for the DNC. Any -- any smear piece that you see or a hit piece tells you exactly who frightens them most.

So when they do it on Scott Walker, that means he's the guy that they think is going to hurt him. You won't see -- they're not going to do a smear piece on Donald Trump, because they know he's not running. And they know that he's not -- he's not taking it seriously. But they look at this guy. They know he's powerful. He took on the unions. He's the governor. And all she's trying to do is the job that she is supposed to do, which is help the DNC take this guy down. So I really can't blame her for being an incompetent boob.

GUILFOYLE: Volunteer work, though. Yes.


PERINO: How much time should a potential Republican nominee spend worried about the liberal media?

BOLLING: All the way through the election.


BOLLING: Remember what happened to Mitt Romney? They went back to his high school, whatever, the boarding school. And they interviewed some kids who said Mitt was mad -- was mean to some kid at some point?

PERINO: Yes. But only in high school.

BOLLING: So apparently, it goes on and on. In fact, I just read that TIME magazine just tracked down Scott Walker's high-school science teacher to do an interview.

PERINO: Are you serious?

BOLLING: Science teacher. He's one of 24 potential nominees, and they're doing this.

GUILFOYLE: Uh-oh. What happened in the science lab?

BOLLING: Well, guess what? It's -- that's the nature of politics now. Whoever the Democrat nominee will be will probably be under the same -- I would hope will be under the same scrutiny that the liberals do to the conservatives.

PERINO: We'll see. OK. Bob, this weekend, Steven Hayes in a "Weekly Standard" wrote a long piece, relatively long, listing all the potential GOP candidates and their strength and weaknesses and his personal thoughts on them. He put in his top three, Rubio, Walker, Bush as -- again, in his top three. Do you think that's about right?

BECKEL: No, I don't. I think, first of all, the one thing about Thompson (ph) we've got to keep in mind is, anybody who's running for president from my guy Mondale to Gene McCarthy, border states of Iowa do well, because that's your name (ph).

But leaving that aside, I think if Jeb Bush is running -- we know he's running now -- Rubio's -- all his resources here, I wouldn't put him in -- I wouldn't put him in the top ten. I really wouldn't. I just don't think -- you can't take on a guy as popular as Bush was in Florida after he retired from the governorship.

GUILFOYLE: Top three, then?

PERINO: Yes, who is your top three?

BECKEL: Top three? I'd say...

GUILFOYLE: Don't say Ted Cruz. I know he's your man.

PERINO: I would say Bush. No...


BECKEL: No, I don't think Walker. I don't think Walker. I think the answer to that may be...


BECKEL: I got that. I mean, I look at this list, and it's so hard to predict these things. If Rick Perry gets his...

GUTFELD: What about Kasich?

BECKEL: Kasich's problem is he's too liberal. He's pro-life. He's got a very...

GUTFELD: Wait, but that's...

GUILFOYLE: Pro-life is not liberal.

BECKEL: Yes, what is it?

GUTFELD: Pro-life.

BECKEL: Yes, right.

GUTFELD: You say he's too conservative?

BECKEL: No, I didn't say too conservative. He's too much of a liberal. He released a whole lot of people in prison on drug charges, for example, and they don't like the sound of that. And then after that, you -- I can't figure it out. You tell me. Look at this list.

PERINO: Let me ask Kimberly this.


PERINO: Because one of the things that Jeb Bush did not have in his win column was his mom's approval. And this weekend she said she changed her mind on too many Bushes. What do you think of that? Do you think that helps him?

GUILFOYLE: I love it. She's all in. She said, "Let's do this." I love this. I mean, you want to have the support of your family and of your mother, of course. You know, to be for what you're doing and a message that he has and his world view for America.

I think it's wonderful that the family is behind him. There's certainly a tremendous amount of experience there, and he's going to be the beneficiary of that going forward. I mean, it's fantastic.

GUTFELD: What can she say?

PERINO: Well, at this point, right.

GUILFOYLE: She means it.

PERINO: I think she said it initially, because she, one, was worried about the toll what -- it takes on you and your family.

GUTFELD: I always think the first thing you say is the honest thing. Well, you know.

GUILFOYLE: But it depends on the context and the timing. And at that time, I think it was difficult for the family, everything that they were hearing and having to go through. Maybe time has kind of made it a little better.

BECKEL: I think Bush -- I think Bush, a couple of things happened which have been very much in the press conference. One, the hits have come early because you got out there and they had to. So they're throwing everything at them, including being a bully in high school. And so -- and also a crowded field in Iowa. And there will be a crowded field. It's going to thin out what you're going to need to win. And I think Bush by name alone will pick up.

PERINO: You know who's going to Iowa next week? Governor Rick Perry.

BECKEL: Governor Rick Perry.

PERINO: I commend the article by Steven Hayes. It's called "A Herd of Elephants." It's on the Weekly Standard website. And you can maybe weigh in with our rankings, let us know what they are.

Next up, the "Fastest Seven" featuring "SNL's" big night, "Fifty Shades of Grey's" big weekend. And a meteorologist's big reaction to a rare weather phenomenon.




It's hard to believe that this show has been going on for 40 years.

CARVEY: You mean this show right now has been going on for 40 years, because it really feels like it?

MYERS: Yes, pretty much.

CARVEY: How about it?



BOLLING: Welcome back. Time for...



GRAPHIC: Fastest 7


BOLLING: ... the "Fastest Seven" -- maybe six and a half minutes -- on television. Three potent stories, seven precipitous minutes, one (UNINTELLIGIBLE) host.


BOLLING: Pulicent (ph).

First up, "Saturday Night Live" celebrated 40 years of making us laugh last night, and boy, they did it in style. Twenty-three million tuned in. There were clips from the past. Land shark, Dougie (ph), Stefon, and this guy.




BOLLING: That's Chris Farley as a Chippendale dancer with Patrick Swayze.

Fallon, Will Ferrell, Chris Walken, cast members, hosts, actors, athletes. It was truly entertaining for those of us who literally grew up watching and loving "SNL."


STEVE MARTIN, COMEDIAN: So it's really comedians who have dominated this stage for 40 years.

TOM HANKS, ACTOR: Comedians? Steven, what about actors?

MARTIN: Oh my God, it's America's Tom Hanks, ladies and gentlemen.

Oh, my God, it's Melissa McCarthy.

Peyton Manning, ladies and gentlemen.

PAUL MCCARTNEY, MUSICIAN: What about singers named Paul?

PAUL SIMON, MUSICIAN: What about us?


MARTIN: You heard him, a resounding no.


BOLLING: All right, bring it on, Greg. Somehow they had 40 years packed in about four hours.

GUTFELD: Yes, you know what else turned 40 this weekend, Miley Cyrus. Well, at least her liver did.

I didn't watch it. I missed it. But you notice one thing about "SNL." It's not necessarily a great place to work. It's a great springboard for a movie career. A lot of those people we saw. It was pretty impressive, the -- the incredible talent that was there.

BOLLING: Yes, a lot of them.

PERINO: I loved -- I loved the open. I actually kind of loved the first hour. I bailed after the Bradley Cooper...


PERINO: ... Betty White kiss. Even though I like both of them very much. I thought that skit was a little bad, so I turned it off then. I just think that maybe the show needed an editor, right? Three hours -- three and a half hours was too ambitious. If they would have done two hours they would have probably had their best stuff.

BOLLING: I admit, I watched the hour red carpet leading up to it and the whole show. Listen, I grew up watching that stuff, Bob. Forty years of that Amazing comedy.

As Greg points out, springboards for everything. Not just film. Stand up, TV, everywhere.

BECKEL: My kids grew up watching that. I was in the bedroom.

PERINO: Civil War?

BECKEL: Civil War. Well, it turned out well. I thought -- I thought my job, particularly on the Disney show, what was that thing, the weekend show? Jeanette? "The Musketeers."

BOLLING: Anyway, all right.

GUILFOYLE: That was really weird.

BOLLING: K.G., a quick thought?

GUILFOYLE: Yes. My favorite on "Saturday Night Live" is Toonces the cat that drives the car. I think it's so funny.

BOLLING: Very good. Let's move on to this. Next up, "Fifty Shades of Grey" was panned by the critics, but the film crushed Valentine's weekend box office totals, taking in an estimated $90.7 million through Sunday.


JAMIE DORNAN, ACTOR: You should stay clear of me.


BOLLING: So if those numbers hold up, it would become the highest growing February premiere ever, surpassing "Passion of the Christ," which took in $83.9 million in '04. And check this out: 60 percent of the movie goers were female; 58 percent of moviegoers were over 25 years old.

GUILFOYLE: People want to fire it up. This freezing weather and the polar vortex, people are -- want to make babies or something. I don't know. They're excited.

BOLLING: Bob, you -- they didn't care that the critics panned the movie.

BECKEL: No, they didn't care. The question is, you've got to sustain these kind of numbers.

GUILFOYLE: it's making money.

BECKEL: I don't think it is going to do that.

But just one other thing about "Saturday Night Live." You all, never mind.


BECKEL: I've read it. It's boring.

BOLLING: Ninety million dollars in the first week. And they estimated $500 million worldwide.

PERINO: Well, it's a hugely popular book. I mean, the -- it absolutely surprised the publisher. And they had this runaway hit on their hands. They couldn't print the things fast enough. And with all the constant media hype leading up to this movie, which has been months in the making -- months of media hype leading up to it, I think that 90 million sounds about right.

BOLLING: And any thoughts on 68 percent females going to this?

GUTFELD: I cried during the movie.

No, actually, I have to be honest, I don't like sex with plots. It's like having...

PERINO: You like plots with sex?

GUTFELD: No, I don't. It's like -- it's like alcohol and chocolate candy. They should be separate.

Like, if we take great movies like "Jaws," or "Star Wars," or "Casablanca," put a sex scene in it, it doesn't make it any better. I want to have a story and you have the other stuff for later.

But to put it -- and by the way, sitting in a movie theater watching a sex scene with strangers strikes me as a bit weird.

BOLLING: A little weird. Pee Wee Herman did that.

Hold on. I love this job. I really love this job. And loving your job makes it fun to come to work. That said, there's a guy who really, really loves his job. Check out the Weather Channel's Jim Cantore catching thunder snow on tape.


JIM CANTORE, THE WEATHER CHANNEL: Oh yes, yes, yes. We got it, baby. We got it. We got it. Woo! Woo! Oh, again. Again. That's a two-fer. That's a two-fer, baby! Yes!

You can have your $500 million jackpot in Powerball or whatever the heck you want. But I'll take this, baby.


BOLLING: Let's start over here and bring it around. Go, K.G.

GUILFOYLE: AccuWeather guy zone.

BOLLING: AccuWeather guy was very good. Greg.

GUTFELD: Thunder snow?


GUTFELD: That was my nickname in high school. I know. I was loud and white. I had a gastrointestinal issue.

What I want to know is...

GUILFOYLE: Ew. You still do.

GUTFELD: ... where are all the Boston students that are campaigning for divesting from coal? What's kept them warm during all this? Were they burning their issues of Mother Jones and Utne Reader?

BOLLING: Dana, Jim Cantore loves his job.

PERINO: I have to say, I don't think that he -- that was not persuasive. I don't think he was being sincere. I mean, nobody gets that excited for something.

GUILFOYLE: I think they do.

BOLLING: He really was that excited.

PERINO: Honestly?

BOLLING: Thunder snow, you know, you see a lightning bolt.

PERINO: I don't think I've ever been that excited in my life.

GUILFOYLE: About anything?

BECKEL: This guy is drunk. He's drunk from like...

BOLLING: No, no, no, no.

You like Jim Cantore, right?

BECKEL: Yes, I do.

BOLLING: He's very, very enthusiastic about the weather.

BECKEL: He is. Can you imagine being thrilled by the weather? I mean, some people do, I guess.

GUILFOYLE: I really love weather. I have all the little weather apps.

BOLLING: All right. We've got to go.

That's not what you do before the show out here?


BOLLING: Still ahead. Why you'll never find Charles Barkley on Twitter or Facebook. The Hall of Famer has sworn off social media. His reasons coming up.


BECKEL: Social media is not for everyone. Me, I still haven't figured out how to Twitter. My co-hosts are good at it.


BECKEL: Tweet, whatever. Twitter-twatter. One person who wants to -- nothing to do with it, Charles Barkley. Here's why. Charles.


CHARLES BARKLEY, BASKETBALL HALL OF FAMER: One of the reasons I do no social media whatsoever, I don't feel the need to talk to all these nitwits out there. So I never do any social media. And if people got to say something bad, they can just write it on the Internet and go into the air. Unfortunately, we've given all these trolls the opportunity to voice their opinions. Now listen, just because you watch "Grey's Anatomy" don't mean you can do the operation.


BECKEL: All right. Let me -- I didn't say anything bad before. But, Eric, could you live without tweeting?

BOLLING: I don't think so. I'm pretty much addicted to Twitter and Facebook and now Instagram. But look, Charles is...

GUILFOYLE: And Snapchat.

BOLLING: If you're thin-skinned, if someone says something negative about you and you actually take it to heart, then you shouldn't be on Twitter. Because God knows, there's a lot of it going on on Twitter.

GUILFOYLE: It's so abusive.


PERINO: I find it useful and enjoyable. I learn a lot when I'm on it. I have a little bit of fun. And I am able to ignore a lot of the bullying that happens or the nasty comments...

GUILFOYLE: Well, you're good at it, though.

PERINO: I am good...

GUILFOYLE: You really are.

PERINO: ... at Twitter.


GUTFELD: I only -- I've said this before. I never tweet sober. I don't - - because, like, if I'm -- if it's night and I'm home and I'm sober, that means I'm probably watching a movie or working.

But if I have a glass of wine, that's the only reason -- if I'm on Twitter at like 9 p.m. at night on the East Coast, you can bet I've had two or three glasses of wine, because that's what it's for...

GUILFOYLE: Don't worry. Management's not listening.

BECKEL: You get interesting Twitters, don't you?


BECKEL: Tweets, don't you get interesting -- why are you looking at me like that?

GUILFOYLE: I'm trying to figure out what you're saying.

BECKEL: You like your Twitter, don't you?

GUILFOYLE: No! No, I don't.

BECKEL: Did I say something here?

GUILFOYLE: No, I'm just saying, here's why I like it. I like it for the news. I love the news -- and you get a lot of people that are very educated weighing in. That, I love. If I could siphon out the rest of it, just like...

BECKEL: In my case, I don't read them at all. Because if I had to siphon, I'd siphon 95 percent of them off. They always start with "you big, fat, liberal" -- and then -- and I used to get...

GUTFELD: That's from your brother.

BECKEL: Well, I got back to one guy said, "Let me ask you something: was it your mother that married your brother?"

GUILFOYLE: Too intense.

BECKEL: I would actually be supportive of you guys. I would be supportive of you guys. But, oh, no. That's right, hang it out in the wind. Let it go, boom. Cut his head off.


BECKEL: "One More Thing" is up next.

GUILFOYLE: That's insensitive.


GUTFELD: Time now for "One More Thing." Let's go to Dana Perino.

PERINO: OK. Guys, are you looking for a date? Excuse me.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God.


PERINO: Not with me. It turns out there's a study done in Britain, and one in five women said a man with a dog is instantly more attractive.

BECKEL: Oh, God.

PERINO: And a dog is twice as appealing as a large salary or a big house. So I think that you, if you're looking for a date, you know, a dog can make you look more responsible and caring. It shows that you're not selfish and that you're able to have fun...

BECKEL: You're exactly right. Because I used to rent a poodle, a poodle puppy from my next-door neighbor so I could walk around up by the National Cathedral, and I'd get a date out of it.

PERINO: There you go. See?

GUTFELD: There you go.


PERINO: A little dating advice.

GUTFELD: What I do is I go to a park around 2 a.m., and I claim that my dog is lost and could somebody help me find it.

PERINO: And then what happens?

GUTFELD: I get arrested. Something better than a dog is a hairless rat taking a bath. Look at that.




GUILFOYLE: So gross.

GUTFELD: Sometimes when you're feeling down, and you can't get out of a funk, think of a little hairless rat taking a bath.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, it's gross.

GUTFELD: By the way, that's not really a hairless rat. That's Bob Costas.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God.

GUTFELD: Bob, you're next. No, Kimberly is next.

GUILFOYLE: Was that an albino rat? What was that?

GUTFELD: Why does it have to be about color?

GUILFOYLE: I'm trying to see it. It doesn't have any hair? I mean, it doesn't have any pigmentation.

GUTFELD: You're up, racist Kimberly.

GUILFOYLE: Sorry. OK, let's talk about marriage, shall we? Mm-hmm.

So these two individuals have been married for 81 years. They are 99 years old.

BECKEL: Unbelievable.

GUILFOYLE: Dale and Alice Rocky, and they were honored by the Worldwide Marriage Encounter -- it's a Christian group based in San Bernardino, California -- as part of the organization's 2015 Longest Married Couple Project. I think it's fantastic they've been married so long. Listen to this...

BOLLING: To each other?

GUILFOYLE: Yes, Bolling. Five sons, 15 grandkids, 28 great-grandkids and six great-great-grandchildren. I mean, everyone else out there is just underachievers. Listen to their secret of success, really quick.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Is there a secret to how you guys have stayed together for so long?



ROCKY: I always let him have my way.


GUILFOYLE: That's so cute. That's going to be Dana and Peter.

PERINO: I'm always right.

GUILFOYLE: You'll let him...


BECKEL: I was married to a nice woman who didn't deserve me. OK, quickly. I'm going to go quickly. What I was going to say, I change my "One More Thing" and tell you one more time. And that list of Republican candidates, if you get past Iowa, the person next to Bush in my mind is John Kasich, governor of Ohio.

BOLLING: There you go.


BOLLING: So very quickly, Conan O'Brien spent this Presidents' Day weekend in Cuba, Havana, Cuba, taping a special that will air March 4. It's the first time a talk show will be taped in Cuba since Jack Parr did it, "The Tonight Show." I think it was 1950-something.

GUTFELD: Wow. Interesting.

PERINO: That might be useful.

GUTFELD: Really?

PERINO: Yes, I mean, spreading entertainment.

GUTFELD: I wasn't really asking.

PERINO: I'm sorry.

GUTFELD: That's it. "Special Report" is up next.

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