Climate alarmists blame global warming before blizzard

Storm packs lighter punch than expected for some parts of Northeast


This is a rush transcript from "The Five," January 27, 2015. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Eric Bolling along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Juan Williams, Dana Perino and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5 o'clock in New York City, this is "The Five."

Well, the predictions for New York City were dire.


BILL DE BLASIO, NEW YORK CITY MAYOR: This will most likely be one of the largest blizzards in the history of New York City. This is not gonna be like other snowstorms. Prepare for something worse than we have seen before.


BOLLING: But after all the catastrophic warnings, all the doomsday forecasts, the blizzard of 2015 hardly bruise -- blue through the Big Apple after all. Many parts of the northeast had been hit very hard but, the fact is meteorologists blew it. And so did the climate change alarmists, kind of alarmists who were already blaming global warming before the storm even hit.


JEFFREY SACHS, EARTH INSTITUTE, COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY: We're really seeing a lot more of this kind of extreme event. That's what we expect. That's what the climate science says.

ED SCHULTZ, "THE ED SHOW" HOST: We have not seen temperatures of the water this high contributing to this weather pattern. So, in a sense is this somewhat new territory for us in the meteorological world.

BILL NYE, CLIMATE CHANGE ENTHUSIAST: The very strong winds that will be associated with this storm in the next day or couple days, these could be connected to climate change.

BILL FINCH, BRIDGEPORT CITY MAYOR: Thank you for your show, reverend. You know you've been fighting the good fight on climate change and we can see crazy climate here.


FINCH: And we'd like to have a little bit more of you down in Washington.


BOLLING: Alright. So Greg, -- you have to ask if the best computer models that money can buy on the planet blew it completely, just kind of blew it for this whole area. How did they know that the climate -- the earth is warming by 2/100 of a degree over decades?

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Yeah. It's where you -- you have to separate this out. The hype on -- the storm is unavoidable. It's like trying to predict a drunk who's stumbling down a hill. It's gonna take an odd bounce, but you know it's coming. So that's why I don't -- I don't think the meteorologists were that wrong, it's just that they're predicting a drunk, which is like predicting me. No one ever wants to play down something, because if you play down something and there's death, you have death on your face. Having said that, the link between extreme weather and climate change has never been proven, and has not been proven and Bill Nye even admits that, which is why he offered not a single scintilla of proof, when he was speaking. The worst storm ever in the northeast was in 1888, they had something like 58 inches in Saratoga Springs. So if this blizzard, this current blizzard in fact proves climate change, the logical conclusion, the logical conclusion is that climate change is awesome, because a storm 130 years ago was much worse than a storm now. That is a logical conclusion that flies in the face of all these idiots who have absolutely no evidence linking extreme weather to climate change. It's almost -- I mean, using hypothetical models is wrong, like saying that 2014 was the hottest year. They used to fixed models, they even used satellites, the satellites show otherwise. It's all bogus.

BOLLING: Don't you find it funny that they know for a fact that the global warming climate change is a fact without any dispute. There's no question in their minds, yet they can't figure out where this storm is going to go. I mean, I found it hugely, hugely, hugely hypocritical.

GUTFELD: Well there's no -- there's also no trend in insurance losses from extreme weather, despite more people and more CO2, maybe the science guy can explain that.

BOLLING: Alright, can I get K.G. to weigh in on this.


BOLLING: Speaking of -- what did you call it? Idiot extremist -- whatever he --word, term he used, can we apply it to the mayor who had -- who had the crazy thought to say, hey, Al Sharpton, thank you for your stance on global warming.

GUILFOYLE: Crazy big bird strikes once again. I mean, I don't know what to tell you this guy, I mean -- at least he plowed the upper east side of New York this time because that was getting weird. You know, no one can predict weather really, let's be honest. I think the weather service did a pretty good job of predicting big events. But guess what, because I called Mother Nature this morning on an exclusive and she said, hey, sometimes I just don't tell you exactly what I'm gonna do. A slight change in temperature, et cetera, can throw a storm completely off track, move it in a different direction. That's the beauty of nature and of events that we can't completely control or predict. You do your best in an abundance of caution. Today they did that, because guess what? If they didn't, we'd all be screaming about it.

BOLLING: You can't predict weather but you can predict the global warmist (ph) -- the alarmists coming out in droves saying look what climate change is doing to us.

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: But also it's the explanation for everything. So, because the storm wasn't that severe, that is also because of global warming. Because it is 52 degrees in Rawlins, Wyoming where my aunt Patty Sue (ph) has the bowling alley.

GUILFOYLE: Bowling alley.

PERINO: Memory Lane and she sent me a photograph today, saying 52 degrees at 11 a.m. and you should be jealous. That -- the climate change folks would also say that's because of global warming. It becomes the catch-all for everything. I agree with Kimberly, I think we ask too much of our meteorologists. I think that the hype is a little overdone but I also don't think we can ever ask them to predict precisely how many inches of snow are we going to get on this with a day and I think that's part of the wonder of the world. Mother Nature is still very much in charge.

BOLLING: Do you want this one or do you want President Obama?

JUAN WILLIAMS, CO-HOST: I'll take this one. It strikes me that, you know, it's a lot like people who make political predictions and they often are wrong. I don't know why you guys are giving them a pass. Today you guys are like oh, the meteorologists, letting them go. I've got to tell you something, they're paid to be right and they were wrong.


GUTFELD: But wait -- but Juan.

WILLIAMS: They were wrong.

GUTFELD: Juan, we were doing it too. If you looked at our network --

WILLIAMS: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

GUTFELD: I mean, we were --


GUTFELD: We were shouting --

WILLIAMS: I was coming, baby. I was on my train, because the media hyped it too.


WILIAMS: Oh, we jump on it because the ratings are there.

BOLLING: Can I add something to that mix? When that happens, -- the store shelves sell out. I mean Kale -- there was a story about Kale --

PERINO: So it's good for the economy.

BOLLING: Well, it might be. Well, no, no. You are 100 percent right. It happens --

GUILFOYLE: Kale? People ran out to buy Kale?

BOLLING: It was a yucky nightmare on the upper west side last night.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, it's disgusting.

BOLLING: Kale and gluten-free products -- gone, off the shelves.

WILLIAMS: Let me tell you something, though.


WILLIAMS: Did you listen to the radio? Like if you listen to all news, the weather station, old -- old people, they just scare them to death. You better run to the grocery store now.


WILLIAMS: This is it. It's Armageddon coming.

GUTFELD: It's like Democrats saying we're going to steal your social security.

WILLIAMS: Oh, gosh.

GUILFOYLE: My, gosh.

BOLLING: Let's get to this. Let's get to this. On a bigger picture, much grander scale, President Obama who's bend in India (ph) is pressing the country to do more to fight climate change and to no one's surprise, he apologized for America's role in global warming or cooling or, you know, when the weather changes.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: With rising seas, melting Himalayan glaciers, more unpredictable monsoons, cyclones getting stronger. Few countries will be more affected by a warmer planet, than India. The United States recognizes our part in creating this problem, so we're leading the global effort to combat it.

(END VIDEO CLIP) BOLLING: Wow, Dana, really?

PERINO: Well, OK. For a long time there has been an international effort to try to get some sort of international climate agreement. The key protocol was the big one. President Bush withdrew from that and I think he was right to do so. At the end of the bush administration after having said, we can't know whether or not humans for sure caused it so let's err on the side of caution and do something about it, there was a big international agreement on the table with China and Australia, called the Asian-Pacific partnership, this administration came in, ignores that and tries to go to for the big ball again and they -- basically they have nothing to show for it. I mean, our emission are dying in (ph)

WILLIAMS: They tried -- they tried in Copenhagen and they failed, right?

PERINO: Right. That's right.

WILLIAMS: Right. But --

PERINO: What I'm saying, they took the things they're on the table and not away from them.

WILLIAMS: Well no, but I'm saying they couldn't get everybody to buy in. It wasn't the --

PEIRNO: Right.

WILLIAMS: It wasn't the United States. Let's not blame USA.

PERINO: You just buy what you did.

WILLIAMS: What I'm saying, the USA -- and I think both administrations tried very hard to get a deal, because they recognize it's in our interests, in our financial interests in our health interests to get something done. So go over it --

PERINO: But what I was gonna say, Juan, is that the key is that our emissions in the United States have continued to go down and they will continue to do so, even though we consume a lot. But we have better technologies. China, India, Brazil, the big emerging countries.

WILLIAMS: Yeah, that's true.

PERINO: Where he said -- when President Obama says, we're basically we're at fault and you're going to be in -- harm's way because of our actions, I don't think that's the most responsible way to deal with the situation.


BOLLING: And there lies in -- we gonna get Kimberly in here. And there lies the problem that he went and apologized for our own -- contribution to global warming instead of calling out the countries, including India, including China, including some of the other industrials -- industrializing countries, saying you need to get on board too.

GUILFOYLE: I know. Well, he's the apologizer in chief. We're sorry about everything. We're sorry about offending people with our words. We're sorry that we're awesome, that we're America, we're sorry for exceptionalism. (ph) I don't know what to tell you, it's sad. It's just like OK, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I got an A on the test, sorry I studied and I worked hard or I built a company, you know? Is this is all about like punishment and retribution and preparation.

WILLIAMS: Can I -- can I suggest another way to think about this that maybe, maybe -- of course in history, historically, we did in fact because of our manufacturing superiority and we used it. But secondly, that this is a point of leverage to get India on board.

BOLLING: It's telling -- telling India --

WILLIAMS: It's like we're willing to do something --

BOLLING: Telling India that we're at fault because of the leverage.

WILLIAMS: No, that's what we did with China. And China grew -- China.

BOLLING: People find a way on the left of applying leverage.

WILLIAMS: Oh, stop.

BOLLING: Greg, jump in.

GUTFELD: That the -- I said this before, for the left, man-made global warming is their war on terror, because they can at least identify the villain, which is always going to be America, that is how your educated on campus and the media continues this idea. We are always at fault. But there -- what if the warmists (ph) who believe that man-made global warming is real and causing a slight increase in temperature, 200 some (ph) of a degree, they may be wrong but not in the way that they think. If the warmists (ph) say their man made global warming is real, that in fact might be good, because cold is deadlier than warmth. Any slight increase on average temperature actually saves lives around the world because of increase of vegetation and you have less of a spike during the wintertime that kills thousands of people. Cold winter spikes are worse than summer spikes. So in fact, we should be -- we could destroy this internal -- this internal debate by saying, yes, it's real and we love it.

WILLIAMS: You know what?

GUTFELD: That destroys the whole debate.

WILLIAMS: You have frozen my brain.



WILLIAMS: Because I mean --


WILLIAMS: Wait a minute.

GUTFELD: Listen.

WILLIAMS: If snow is rising --

GUILFOYLE: Perfect segway. (ph)

WILLIAMS: If the polar ice caps melt, and New York City is flooded -- you say that's good news.

GUTFELD: We have record by the way.


GUTFELD: We have record -- we have record sea ice in the Antarctic.


GUTFELD: We have more -- we have more polar bears and we can shake off.

WILLIAMS: They're you guys.

BOLLING: Speaking of frozen, Juan --

GUILFOYLE: They are crazy, Juan.

WILLIAMS: They are crazy.

BOLLING: The Obama administration is actually sought tone list Disney's help to push its climate change agenda. Remember this movie?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) DEMI LOVATO, SINGER: Let it go, let it go, you'll never see me cry. Here I stand...

(END VIDEO CLIP) BOLLING: Now listen to what the state department's representative for the arctic is suggesting. He thinks the film should be used to teach our kids about global warming.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) ADMIRAL ROBERT PAPP, U.S. SPECIAL ENVOY FOR THE ARCTIC: In explaining why we wanted Disney's assistance on this, I said you've taught an entire generation about the arctic. Unfortunately, the arctic that you taught them about is a fantasy kingdom in Norway.


PAPP: Where everything is nice. And I said, what we really need to do is educate the American youth about the plight of the polar bear, about the thawing tundra, about Alaskan villages that run the risk of falling into the sea because of the lack of sea ice protecting their shores.

(END VIDEO CLIP) BOLLING: Alright, so much for that.

GUILFOYLE: I don't know what to say.

BOLLING: Go ahead.

PERINO: So much.


GUILFOYLE: I mean, I hear this song in my head, it -- so many times. I think this should be part of the new enhanced interrogation program, just play Frozen over and over again on a loop.

BOLLING: What part of what he said had any sort of accuracy?

GUTFELD: Everything. Let me -- let me tell you -- I'll tell you why because -- people go after global warming skeptics or anybody who questions the hysteria saying you don't read the science. I read the science and I go for the credentialed people. Roy Spencer is a climate scientist. He was a senior scientist for climate studies at NASA's Marshall Space Flight Center. His satellite -- satellite monitoring stations show that we are not getting warmer and that there's an abundance of evidence that we are just as warm 1,000 and 2,000 years ago as it is today. He believes this is all about funding. That's all it is.

WILLIAMS: You know what though, let me -- you've got the National Science Foundation, you've got the National Center for Atmospheric Research.

GUTFELD: And they were inaccurate.

WILLIAMS: And all was saying the same thing.

GUTFELD: No, no. But they say 200 --

WILLIAMS: But you -- but you --

GUTFELD: 200 of --

WILLIAMS: You know what?

GUTFELD: To be increase.

WILLIAMS: Let me just say this.

GUTFELD: That's right (ph)

WILLIAMS: You know what I feel this table is frozen. I feel frozen because it seems to me.


WILLIAMS: That all you guys -- it's just become a political conversation.

GUTFELD: With what? I just give you facts.

WILLIAMS: It is all about the weather.

GUTFELD: What? I just give you facts.

WILLIAMS: No, no. It's the right. The right says, no climate, we're denying it ever happened.

GUTFELD: I have no -- OK. Hey, I did not deny a single damn thing.

WILLIAMS: Oh, oh, like I said.

GUTFELD: I presented science to you.


GUTFELD: And you're denying the science.

WILIAMS: You were just -- you presented one scientist that this is my guy and therefore, end of story.

GUTFELD: That's the smartest -- you just brought up -- so you brought up the end -- we gonna do bring up? --

WILLIAMS: National Science Foundation.


WILLIAMS: The National Center for Atmospheric Research.

GUTFELD: Alright. Tell me -- tell me the degree increase that they said for 2014.

WILLIAMS: I think it was --


GUTFELD: 200 --.

WILLIAMS: Of a degree, alright. But that's part of a larger --

GUTFELD: It falls (ph) within the margin of error. 1998 is warmer.


WILLIAMS: They've says, I think it's 14 of the -- of the warmest years on record have happened in recent years.

GUTFELD: Because of the margin of error, it could be any --

GUILFOYLE: Not in New York, freezing here all the time.

BOLLING: Can I get Dana to answer. Walt Disney was a conservative. He fought environmentalists so that he could open up Disneyland, Disney world, a few resorts, he would be rolling in his grave if he knew that Disney wasn't let them use Frozen.

GUILFOYLE: But he's frozen too, I think.


GUTFELD: Yes. You know his head is frozen.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, just the head.

GUTFELD: His head would be rolling.


PERINO: I don't know about his environmental perspective, but I do know he was a great story teller and he was great for children. And I think that we should let kids be kids, OK? Let them watch a show without having to have some sort of political ideology shoved down their throat.

GUTFELD: Great one.

PERINO: They gonna get it all through their lives and we have responsibilities -- just want them to have -- let them -- also, can I just say one thing about the guy from the arctic? So they're so concerned about these little Alaskan villages that may or may not for sometime in the future fall into the ocean. But yesterday, President Obama announced that he was basically taking all of Alaska's future oil growth off the table.


PEIRNO: So people who might get jobs in that industry in Alaska, that's -- GUILFOYLE: He shut it down.

PEIRNO: I'm actually worried about those people today.



GUILFOYLE: He's the village destroyer, killing jobs.

BOLLING: Great way to tie up the segment.



GUTFELD: What do you -- how do you feel about that?


WILIAMS: I know how I feel but I think --

BOLLING: Alright.

WILLIAMS: You know what? I won't start now.


BOLLING: Alright, next on The Five, breaking new developments on Bowe Bergdahl. Could he be getting charged soon with desertion? What the Pentagon says, after this.


PERINO: It's been seven months since President Obama announced the controversial prisoner swap that freed Bowe Bergdahl from the Taliban. Bergdahl platoon mate accused him of desertion and the army launched an investigation. We've been waiting for the results ever since. NBC is reporting the army will charge the former sergeant for leaving his post and a former military intelligence officer told Bill O'Reilly the same last night.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) LT. COL. ANTHONY SHAFFER, MILITARY INTELLIGENCE COPRS: The army has come to its conclusion and Bowe Bergdahl -- Sergeant Bergdahl will be charged with desertion. I'm -- I've been told, I've been confirmed by two other sources that his attorney was given, or we call a charge sheet. A charge sheet essentially is the -- the results of the investigation listing out the articles of the uniform code of military justice which have been violated. The key violation is desertion. And this is -- this has been done, the decision has been made.

(END VIDEO CLIP) PERINO: But the Pentagon was pressed on the subject today and it denies that any decision has been made.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) REAR ADM. JOHN KIRBY: No decision has been made with respect to the case of Sergeant Bergdahl, none. And there is no timeline to make that decision. I think it is extraordinarily premature for anybody to say that they know what the General Milley is gonna decide and when he's gonna decide it and when he's gonna transmit that. We're just not there in the process.

(END VIDEO CLIP) PERINO: So the Pentagon pushing back hard on that, Kimberly.


PERINO: I'm thinking that it could be that no decision has been made yet but this is a decision that they're marching towards and it's possible that the president has asked to be back in the country by the time this decision is made. But then, Admiral Kirby, maybe he knows something that we don't know so we possibly have to trust him. The question for you is, what is the penalty, if it is decided that he is -- was a deserter, what is the penalty or the range of penalties that he could face?

GUILFOYLE: Well, he could be killed. He could be executed for do I think this is gonna happen? No. You gonna have to make a decision, this is someone who was held as a prisoner of war essentially, right, is what he's saying for five years. It was that sufficient or should he face some other extreme punishment. The one thing is the president is bound to uphold to these military laws and so therefore, he wouldn't be able to per se step in the way of it. But, maybe they'll give him some kind of sentence and dishonorable discharge, something to that effect, and perhaps some time, we'll have to see. But this is amongst the most serious charges that you could face as a soldier.

PERINO: And this is an investigation, Eric. That seems to have gone on for a long time. I was cautioned today by someone in the know that said that this is not unusual that the army was trying to be as thorough as possible, so maybe that's why it's taking so long. But the White House did make a decision to have a big PR event around the release with the father in the rose garden. Is this something they're going to continue to regret?

BOLLING: So -- so The Daily Beast ran a piece by Nathan Bethea who was in the same battalion as Bergdahl. He said everyone in that battalion, everyone knew that Bergdahl had walked off camp on his own volition, he just left. It wasn't that he was lagging behind on a mission, he literally walked. That said, he outlined six people who were killed looking for Bergdahl.

PEIRNO: Right.

BOLING: So two -- two killed by IED, one shot in the face, two killed in an ambush and one stepped on a land mine. That -- add that to the five bad guys, the terrorists that we traded for Bergdahl, if there's any truth to this -- K.G., I don't know, I mean there are a lot of people who are dead or who will be dead.


BOLLING: Based on Bergdahl walking away. He may get more harsh.

GUILFOYLE: Well, he could. I mean, but if there's key language in here as well, which is basically what they deem to be fit. Such other punishment as a court-martial may direct. So in the court's discretion, that could be even up 10 years. I just don't think that they're going to save his life to take it.

PERINO: And in fact Greg, we were saying at commercial break that after the army went through so much to try to find him.


PERINO: And to rescue him, it was very -- it would be unlikely that we would execute him.

GUTFELD: Yeah, that would make little sense. But it does lead to one conclusion that I have -- I've said before about the administration. I don't think President Obama knows the price of things. He doesn't know the price of GITMO. He doesn't know the price of health care. He doesn't know the price of the unity of a nation. He squanders value because he never bothered to look at the price tag of these things he doesn't take seriously. He's like a billionaire's spouse with a Martini and a credit card, never checking the price of anything and squanders these things of value. The question is not about whether -- not just about the desertion but whether the trade was worth it. He gave away five terrorists for one -- for one guy. Essentially gave up a Ferrari for a hot wheel. And all for a rose garden moment, all to make Obama look like --

WILLIAMS: With just likely to say Greg, you know what --

GUTFELD: He will put to make him look like a savior.

WILLIAMS: You know what? Forget politics for a second. We bring home American soldiers and I think we've done that from the day of the founding of this great country.

BOLLING: So, I can so add?


WILLIAMS: No, no, let me finish up, alright? Because you guys -- I just want to say --


WILLIAMS: Hang on. The administration has made some terrible misstatements, Susan Rice calling his service honorable and all that. But there's no question that whenever you can get an American soldier back home, you should do it.

BOLLING: Even if he deserted?

WILLIAMS: I -- I'm telling you that was --


WILLIAMS: Yes. No. He was held -- nobody disputes he was held as a prisoner of war, he was in a cage.

BOLLING: No, no. But he walked down, down the --

GUILFOYLE: But the other --

BOLLING: He was on the side.

WILLIAMS: He's a crazy kid.

BOLLING: Would he still --

WILLIAMS: He made a mistake. If it's my kid and my kid makes a mistake, I want my child back. If he is in the army uniform of the United States military, bring the kid home.

BOLLING: What about this -- can I bought (ph) those six?

WILLIAMS: Hey, they were soldiers. They know what they're in for. Bergdahl made a mistake.

GUILFOYLE: No, no, but for his conduct of desertion and going wandering, he left on his own volition and was asking and looking for the Taliban. That's -- those are the facts that we have. That's why he's going to be charged.

WILLIAMS: You don't think mistakes are made -- you think mistakes are made in the course of war?

GUILFOYLE: He's a soldier and he has to be held accountable because other soldiers' lives were lost because of his conduct.

WILLIAMS: I'm just telling you, we have all kinds of misconduct and reports of crazy.


WILLIAMS: Leadership in that platoon. So let's not go crazy here.

GUILFOYLE: Don't you dare -- and you have to promise and have to leave.

WILLIMAS I will, I will.

GUTFELD: I will agree with Juan and that, we have to be honest about hostage efforts. It's very easy to make these decisions when you don't have skin in the game, and you have to think in your head, if it's my wife or if it's a child, you would do anything possible to get that person back, so when you make these decisions and you make these calls, you have to say, am I willing to sacrifice that for this.

BOLLING: I would agree with you if in fact he was taken.


BOLLING: If he did lagged back on one of the --

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my god, of course.


BOLLING: Missions and he was taken, I would totally agree with you. But if he didn't, which a lot of these people seem who on --


BOLLING: In his -- in his battalion think, he walked off in the middle of the night after they had already returned from the mission.


BOLLING: Got up, left his stuff neatly piled --


WILLIAMS: Grant the truth. I -- let's say I grant you your point. Don't you understand what I'm saying about American -- a guy -- an American flag on his sleeves?

GUILFOYLE: Yeah, but --

WILLIAMS: I wouldn't trade one good guy, let alone five bad guys for him. I think America want --


GUILFOYLE: And now he became the tipping point for an unprecedented policy of prisoner swapping with the United States and that is the worst outcome of this besides the loss of U.S. soldiers' lives looking for him.



PERINO: How I cheated. (ph) Coming up, Bill Maher said a lot of controversial things lately about the U.S. military. One of his guests just set him straight and the showdown didn't end well for Maher. We have that next.


GUTFELD: All right. Sorry, over. OK, last Friday Bill Maher trashed a Navy ad he saw on the television. Roll the ad, Francis.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: To get to you, they have to get past us. America's Navy.


GUTFELD: Which led Maher to ask dumb questions about the Navy's role in fighting terror.


BILL MAHER, HOST, HBO'S "REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER": Who is "they" that the Navy is guarding us from? Because certainly, the 9/11 attackers didn't have to get past the Navy. I don't think ISIS is planning an amphibious assault on New York City. So why do we need more money for the Navy if the people we are fighting against don't have to get past the Navy?


GUTFELD: That's when smarty-pants Bret Stephens cleaned his clock like a world-class clock cleaner.


BRET STEPHENS, AMERICAN JOURNALIST: Who took out Osama bin Laden in Abbottabad?

MAHER: Do we need 11 aircraft carriers to do that?

STEPHENS: We need -- we need aircraft carriers to reassure our allies around the world. We need force to make sure that at least Russians or Iranians or Chinese are deterred from aggressing in the Persian Gulf against Israel, against Japan. Yes, we do need those things. And I think we live in a safer, better world where we can sort of casually talk about "Ha, ha, isn't it funny? Why do we need a Navy?" If we hadn't had SEALs in Abbottabad, bin Laden would be alive today.

MAHER: I'm not saying we don't need a Navy.

STEPHENS: So would you like that? So it is a matter of fact that, because we had a base in Afghanistan, the war you opposed, we were able to go and kill bin Laden. That's how we got him.


GUTFELD: Crushed him.

Now I bring this up not to trash Maher but to expose his schizophrenia. Recently, Maher bravely identified our enemies.


MAHER: Because it's the only religion that acts like the mafia that will (EXPLETIVE DELETED) kill you if you say the wrong thing, draw the wrong picture or write the wrong book.


GUTFELD: But then he wonders if those who fight these enemies don't really need more help. That's what I would call a disconnect. It's like proclaiming your love for Whole Foods but condemning the trucks who get the chow there. I mean, do you really need all those vehicles to get my free- range kale on the shelf?

But look, it's Bill. He's learning. The Islamic threat is an education for liberals, the same way murderous communism was for them decades ago. As the tens of millions of bodies piled up, many on the left could no longer applaud such utopias. Of course, some still do, denying communism's massive death toll, instead infecting this toxin into matters like climate change and race. For under every race baiter and climate hysteric is a thirst for the death of the west.

But Maher represents a needed deviation, as liberals realize that the language of the left built the Islamophobic shield that now harbors evil.

Islamophobia is the modern anti-anti-communism, a device to prevent criticism of barbarism. "How many terror attacks does one really need" is the same question as "how many millions must die before you condemn communism?" Sadly, it's always more.

So, Juan, you're about as old as I am. Isn't Islamophobia the modern anti-anti-communism? It's to prevent any kind of criticism.

WILLIAMS: Yes, I think you're right.


WILLIAMS: I don't think there's much question about it. The thing about it is Maher has been pretty strong...

GUTFELD: Exactly.

WILLIAMS: ... on this point.


WILLIAMS: But I must agree with you. I thought Bret Stephens was like, you know -- he was like the professor...


WILLIAMS: ... with the student in the back of the room who's been playing the dunce all day. How can you not understand the importance of having the Navy?

GUTFELD: Yes. It was -- it was quite...

WILLIAMS: I don't even think that it's about bin Laden, by the way. I was more impressed by the idea that you want to deter aggression by the Soviets or by the Chinese.


WILLIAMS: And we've recently had examples like that. I don't know where it is.

BOLLING: Let me just throw out here, Maher seems so unprepared to defend that comment. It's almost like he just said it to walk back some of the prior comments that were, frankly, awesome.


BOLLING: He literally called radical extremists Muslims what they are. And now he got a lot of heat for it and maybe he's walking it back.

Can I just point something out, one big inaccuracy in Maher's comment right there? He said there -- what is ISIS, what are they going to mount some sort of offensive on American soil? Today we found an ISIS video and they're saying -- they called out President Obama saying, "We're going to cut off Obama's head in the White House. And we'll transform America into a Muslim province."

So maybe they do want to come here, and maybe we do need the Navy to help shield us.

GUTFELD: Maybe. You know, Maher represents the kind of progressive who embraces big government, but that big government stops at our shores, correct?

PERINO: Right. Well, if you look at something -- bear with me. So Sweden today makes an announcement that says, "Hmm, maybe we should not have let our military decline so much. Maybe we should have invested more in our military. But now we're screwed." But they're facing the same kinds of threats we are. That's not exactly an apples to apples comparison, the United States and Sweden.

GUTFELD: Apple strudel.

PERINO: OK. That's a good one. I always think of how someone could have handled something differently. And when Bret Stephens calls out Bill Maher and says, "Well, you had the Navy SEALs there," it would have been great if Bill Maher had said, "Great point."

GUTFELD: It was.

PERINO: And then he could have moved on and not had that situation.

GUTFELD: Yes, that was...

GUILFOYLE: He was woefully unprepared. He doesn't even understand in the slightest way the role of the United States Navy or what they do. It's by air, by sea, by land, OK. They just don't hang out on big boats all day. That's not what they do. That's not what they did with Jessica Lynch or with bin Laden or any of the other capture-and-kill operations that they're involved in. They work with other Special Forces groups. So basically, he was just a dumb bleep.


GUILFOYLE: Besides, it was a great ad.


BOLLING: It was a great ad.

GUTFELD: It was a really good ad.

WILLIAMS: It got my attention.

GUTFELD: Definitely.

WILLIAMS: You know, I'm not against, by the way, military reform and all that.

PERINO: Yes, who isn't? We're for that.

GUTFELD: All right.

A Super Bowl alert is next. It involves reality nightmare Kim Kardashian. We dated once. I don't want to talk about it.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, right.

GUTFELD: Stay tuned.


GUILFOYLE: Super Bowl XLIX is just five days away, and a lot of people expected Deflate-gate to dominate the talk at media day today. But Patriots owner Robert Kraft was able to sidestep most questions about the scandal. He did offer this staunch defense of his team yesterday.


ROBERT KRAFT, OWNER, NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS: If the Wells investigation is not able to definitively determine that our organization tampered with the air pressure in the footballs, I would expect and hope that the league would apologize to our entire team, and in particular Coach Belichick and Tom Brady, for what they have had to endure this past week.


GUILFOYLE: Communicate with me, Dana Perino. His message too late?

PERINO: I -- they're on -- what is it in wrestling when you're on your back and you flip someone over like that? There's a wrestling move.

GUILFOYLE: You pin them?

PERINO: Yes. It's called someone. I'm not a big wrestler. But what he did was he just went back on offense. So he just said, "OK, you're going to owe me an apology." But do you know what I mean?

GUTFELD: It's a reverse triple Indy.

PERINO: OK, yes, that. He did that. Anyway, from a communications standpoint if I were his people, I would say I thought he did a nice job of getting it back on track for the Patriots.

GUILFOYLE: But should he have said it earlier? He gets up now. For a while it was like crickets. We didn't hear anything.

PERINO: Crisis communications is a big industry now. And really nobody knows what to do initially. You always want to do the right thing...


PERINO: ... and do it as quickly as possible, but they didn't have the information. They didn't have the investigation.

BOLLING: So here's what -- it was strange to hear him say -- come out and say that today. The only thing I can think of is that someone internally, whether it was with the Kraft organization -- his company, the Patriots, or NFL says this whole -- this whole scandal is driving viewers to what they think is going to be a record number of viewers for the Super Bowl, and they're perpetuating it.

This could die. This could have gone away if he doesn't get up and say, "The NFL owes us an apology. People owe us an apology," right, Dana? That keeps the story alive another day or two. Right?

PERINO: It's an interesting theory but not one I share.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, interesting. What a diplomatic way to say, "Shut it down." How about this, Juan, should he have borrowed a line from Hillary Clinton and said, "What difference does it make?"

WILLIAMS: Well, that's the point. That's the...

GUILFOYLE: Because of the second half?

WILLIAMS: You know what? This is the problem.

GUILFOYLE: You're putting up the points.

WILLIAMS: The problem is that there really were footballs that were underinflated. So I mean...

GUILFOYLE: Yes, but not in the second half.

WILLIAMS: So apologize? No, you're talking about the outcome of the game. I don't think there was any question the Patriots were the better team. But I'm saying you shouldn't cheat. You shouldn't cheat.

PERINO: Right.

WILLIAMS: OK. So the question is -- it seems to me that, you know, he says, "Oh, the NFL and this Wells investigation, they're going to owe an apology." And he says Belichick and Brady are like family to me, and these guys have never lied to me. And, therefore, why are you picking on us?"

Gee, do the Patriots have a little history here? Oh, gee. And oh, gosh, it's all about you? It's not about the game?

GUILFOYLE: OK. It sounds like you don't like the Patriots.

WILLIAMS: I don't mind the Patriots.

GUILFOYLE: I have to defend Tom Brady.

GUTFELD: He's not patriotic.

GUILFOYLE: We want to get to Greg's alleged ex-girlfriend, Kim Kardashian. It's a little weird; I don't believe it. But anyway, she's going to be featured in Super Bowl, one of the ads, and we've got a little taste for you.


KIM KARDASHIAN, REALITY TV STAR: Hi, I'm Kim. Each month millions of gigs of unused data are taken back by wireless companies. Tragic. Data you paid for that can be used to see my makeup, my backhand, my outfits, my vacations, and my outfits. Sadly, all lost. Please, help save the data.


GUILFOYLE: Are you sympathetic for your former love interest?

GUTFELD: You know, she made herself the butt of her own joke.

This proves Dana Perino's point that you made last week. This game should have been played weeks ago, because there's absolutely nothing to talk about, about the game, and you know that when you -- when Kim Kardashian enters the story pitches for "The Five," it shows how thin the gruel is. That right now we're on our hands and knees, searching for crap to talk about the game, when we're at this point talking about her.

BOLLING: That's a very good point. I mean, they added this week, this week off for media and for us to do stupid stuff.

PERINO: And then you've got to feed the beast if you're going to do that.

GUTFELD: Her name is Kim. How dare you! How dare you!

WILLIAMS: You know people today paid $28.50 to go to a media day?

GUTFELD: I know. And they call -- they call media day a yearly -- an annual spectacle. The game is an annual spectacle. If that is an annual spectacle, so is my hangnail.

GUILFOYLE: I think people like the commercials.

BOLLING: The players hate it.


BOLLING: They despise it. They don't want to be there. They don't want anything about it, but they have to do it. They can get in a lot of trouble and get fined.

GUILFOYLE: Well, it's part of their job.

WILLIAMS: What about this guy -- what about this guy Marshawn Lynch? Fined 10,000 bucks. Doesn't say a word. Now he's got a commercial. Apparently, he's going to -- you'll love this, Dana. He's going to praise rainbows. They're going to ask him if he likes rainbows.

PERINO: Oh, that's sweet.

WILLIAMS: I thought you'd like that.

GUILFOYLE: All right. What we were really talking about during the break was whether Kim Kardashian's butt was real, and Greg said he thought it was. I don't know if he has any...

BOLLING: I'm going to go with implants. I'm going to go with that.

GUILFOYLE: I think Juan said implants too, right?

WILLIAMS: No, no, no. I didn't.


GUTFELD: Who cares? Who cares? We have time to talk about Lance Armstrong.

GUILFOYLE: Immediately. Did Lance Armstrong just double down on doping? What the former cyclist just admitted that may surprise you, next.


WILLIAMS: Lance Armstrong was stripped of his seven Tour de France titles and banned for life from professional cycling in 2012. That was after admitting to using performance-enhancing drugs. So if he could go back in time, would he do it again? His answer might surprise you.


LANCE ARMSTRONG, FORMER PROFESSIONAL CYCLIST: If I was racing in 2015, no, I wouldn't do it again. Because I don't think you have to do it again. If you take me back to 1995, when it was completely and totally pervasive, I'd probably do it again.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: People don't like to hear that. But that's the honest answer.

ARMSTRONG: Yes, that's the answer.


WILLIAMS: He'd do it again, Gregory.

GUTFELD: Yes. But you know what? Finally, he's being honest. You know who is being dishonest about this whole thing, are the media, who are a bunch of hypocrites.

So he dopes to win races. How many anchors in any business -- CNN, FOX News -- Botox their face, wear wigs.

BOLLING: Why did you take me when he said that?

GUTFELD: That was a coincidence. Because I wasn't talking about you.

GUILFOYLE: A tan machine.

GUTFELD: I'm talking about all the work done. I know for a fact that, if you removed all the work done on Dana, she would be -- she would be a 76-year-old man from Queens named Sal.

PERINO: You're looking good for a Sal.

GUTFELD: How's the family?

PERINO: I don't know. I murdered them.

WILLIAMS: All right. All right.

GUILFOYLE: My God. What kind of show is this?

WILLIAMS: And you murdered them. You murdered them, right?

PERINO: When he said I was going to be this joke, and I just said, "Oh, OK," in the green room. I will never do that again.

WILLIAMS: All right. All right. Back to topic. Back to Lance. What do you say, Eric?

GUILFOYLE: She's going to break up with you.

GUTFELD: I'm going to create another Twitter you-know-what storm.

GUILFOYLE: Then don't say it.

GUTFELD: Well, I won't say it. You know where I am on performance- enhancing drugs and whether or not...

PERINO: For it.


WILLIAMS: I don't get you. You, a man of -- you're a man of standards.

BOLLING: Here is why. Because, Juan, the people who use performance- enhancing drugs and get away with it win all the titles. They win all the championships. They win all the awards...

WILLIAMS: And you want to encourage them.

BOLLING: ... when they did get away with it. And if you just even the playing field by allowing it and letting people do it if they want to you or now, if they don't want to, you'd even the playing field.

WILLIAMS: No, but shouldn't allow it. Look, if you have to perform. If you're on a baseball field, as you pick (ph), you don't want some other guy all muscled up because he's taking drugs. Come on. Performance- enhancing.

BOLLING: They are anyway. They are anyway.

PERINO: Maybe we should require it.

GUTFELD: There you go.

PERINO: Everybody has to take performance-enhancing drugs. That's the other way to level the playing field.

WILLIAMS: What do you say? Now we were saying about Kardashians.

GUILFOYLE: He loved Afrin.

BOLLING: Afrin? What is this, beat up on Bolling?

GUILFOYLE: I love gummy vitamins. Look, if it was against the law, he wasn't allowed to do it, he shouldn't have done it. He shouldn't say, "Oh, because everyone else was doing it, then it's OK. That's not the way it works.

GUILFOYLE: That sounds like a mother talking. Yes, you heard from mom. Don't do it, because everybody else is jumping off bridges, do it.

PERINO: They should have asked him, would you still trash all the people that worked around you and ruin their lives?


PERINO: They should have done that part.

GUILFOYLE: Like drink green juice and eat kale instead, Lance, and cycle faster. Pedal.

BOLLING: There are all these protein drinks and certain other types of mixtures that you can take while you're lifting weights. Other people don't want to take it because it may affect your kidneys. So should those be banned as well?

GUILFOYLE: How about muscle milk?

WILLIAMS: What about the supplement Kim Kardashian took? We don't know.

"One More Thing" up next.

GUILFOYLE: Wrong. We heard Lou Dobbs produces the best take.


All right. Time for "One More Thing." Quickly, Juan's up first.

WILLIAMS: Well, Monday night in Somerville, Massachusetts, at 10:15 if you were lookingout you saw yeti. Yes, someone was dressed up in a yeti costume walking the streets, trying to hail a cab. Unbelievable. And you could have, in fact, gone on Twitter, @BostonYeti2015, to keep up with yeti's adventures, including apparently delivering food. This is crazy. I love the pictures, though.

GUTFELD: It was Lou Dobbs.

BOLLING: Thanks. All right, K.G. Yours

GUILFOYLE: OK, yes. So today was a big day for the New York schools, because of course, they were closed. So that means one of those great snow days. I never had one growing up in California, San Francisco, but Ronan got his toady. And let me tell you, he made the vote (ph) today. He hit the park with his buddies. And here he is with Andrew's sister, Libby (ph). And there he is, enjoying the sledding. Everybody was out there. So it was a positive way to celebrate the snow. And...

GUTFELD: So unsafe.

GUILFOYLE: Unfortunately, he had no helmet.

PERINO: Look how happy he looks.

GUTFELD: Terrible mother.

GUILFOYLE: And then he's like school tomorrow?

BOLLING: Honestly. Don't go to much school anymore.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh. It's one day.

BOLLING: Dana, you're up next.

PERINO: So if you live in Seattle get prepared. You could be tagged with a red tag on your garbage bag if you throw any food away. This is a new effort to try to get more composting in the city. They want to get their composting rate up to 60 percent.

So they actually have people going through the trash can. And if you threw away, for example, here is a red velvet cake, you get a fine. And you can pay dollars -- you can be fined up to $50 for throwing away food in Seattle. I hope that doesn't happen here.

BOLLING: Nice one, Sal. Good job, Sal.

OK. Greg, you're up.

GUTFELD: Time for...


GUTFELD: Greg's secret to happiness.


GUTFELD: All right. This is an important tip. This is why, when you want to go and get drunk do it at home, because if you pass out, you don't have to drive, like this fellow here. Clearly he had been tying one on for hours and fell asleep in his own drink. There he goes. But he doesn't have to worry. He can just go sit down and sleep it off.

GUILFOYLE: I think cats didn't like water.

BOLLING: It's vodka.


PERINO: Animal abuse.

BOLLING: We'll just keep watching the cat video.

PERINO: You never know.

BOLLING: OK. So over the weekend Chuck Todd, who hosts "Meet the Press," took a shot at Donald Trump, saying he might not be a credible candidate for president. That didn't sit well with the Donald. He had a series of five pretty angry tweets with our favorite being this one. Very quickly: "So many people have told me that I should host 'Meet the Press' and replace the moron who's on now. Just too busy, especially the next ten years."

GUTFELD: There you go.


BOLLING: All right. That's it for us. "Special Report" is next. We left you speechless.

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