'Deflate-gate' tarnishing NFL reputations

How should parents explain cheating allegations to children?


This is a rush transcript from "The Five," January 23, 2015. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Kimberly Guilfoyle along with Julie Roginsky, Eric Bolling, Dana Perino, and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5 o'clock in New York City, and this is "The Five."


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Can you answer right now? Is Tom Brady a cheater?

TOM BRADY, NEW ENGLAND PATRIOT QUARTERBACK: I don't believe so. I mean I feel like I've always played within the rules. I would never do anything to break the rules.


GUILFOYLE: Deflate gate has forced a lot of parents to have difficult conversations with their kids over the last week. Our own Elisabeth Hassleback is one of them. Take a look at this picture. The Fox & Friends host posted on Instagram of her 5-year-old son Isaiah, he watching one of his heroes, Tom Brady, yesterday at his press conference and asked, "Mommy, did he cheat?" Elisabeth told him Brady is innocent until proven otherwise, but this is what happens when you get close to that line that separates right from wrong. While many came out to defend the Patriot's star quarterback.


DARRELL YOUNG, WASHINGTON REDSKINS FULLBACK: I did believe Tom Brady just because he's a guy who has won a lot of football games in the NFL. I don't think Tom Brady would stoop to that level.

JAY FEELY, CHICAGO BEARS KICKER: This is a guy that I've known for 20 years, back to 18 years old. He is one of the greatest competitors I know. He is also a man of incredible integrity. And when I saw him say that he didn't cheat and when he texted me and said, "You know, I have nothing to hide," this is a guy that understood how important this press conference was for his legacy. He is a guy that I know that I can trust his word and I'm going to trust his word and I'm going to believe him.


GUILFOYLE: All right. But others aren't convinced Brady didn't tamper with the footballs at Sunday's championship game.


STEPHEN A. SMITH, ESPN COMMENTATOR: The quarterback is involved with touching the football more than anybody. That is where my assertion about Tom Brady's involvement comes from, nothing else that about his personality, his history, or whatever. I'm just using logic. If you are the quarterback, you directly touch the football more than anybody. That's all I'm saying. And the case of Bill Belichick for one game, I would like to think he is preoccupied with more things than air pressure in a football.


GUILFOYLE: A very passionate response. We are seeing a lot of responses, right? People who know Tom Brady are saying, "Look. He is a good old boy. He is not a cheater. Come on. Give him a pass." Do we (inaudible)? What do we think of this football scandal?

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Me? Do you want me to start? I think.

GUILFOYLE: Dana, would you like to start now?

BOLLING: I'll just throw it out there. I don't think it matters. I honestly think that they need to change the rule right now. It's time to change the rule. It doesn't matter if you -- if you're a quarterback and you like a less inflated ball, throw a less inflated ball and let the other team have a more inflated ball. Throw the ball you want. You're using the same ball. It's just an inflation. Who cares? It is not like the other team is going to be throwing the ball that you -- the one that you like. It's not like in basketball where if you steal the ball you go down the court. You're using the same ball. They were -- it's always a different ball. Change this rule right away. This is getting (inaudible).

GUILFOYLE: Yeah. Should it matter each quarterback gets to pick his balls and Tom Brady throws (ph) it?

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Excuse me. Look. You're missing the point here. We began this show -- we began this show talking about the children. What about the children? And I.

GUILFOYLE: And you are a spokesperson for children.

GUTFELD: And what do you tell children when they're faced with something like this? I don't think you can tell kids that cheating is wrong because how would the cheaters feel? It would be mean. You are smearing the cheaters. I'm with President Obama, no one is a cheater. They are undocumented rule benders. Let's get serious about this. My little one at home -- my little one at home asked me -- he asked me -- he asked me, "Daddy, is this cheating? Are those big men on TV cheating?" And you know what I said to my little one? I said, "Holy crap. My parrot can speak the King's English. So I strangled it and ate it because it is possessed." You know a story -- you know a story is dying when it shows resort to how do you to explain it to kids. That's when you finally squeeze all of the juice out of the story lemon. My advice is ignore your children.

GUILFOYLE: Thank God you are not a parent (ph).

GUTFELD: How do you know that?

GUILFOYLE: Well, I -- wow. We don't have enough time for that. Julie?

JULIE ROGINSKY, CO-HOST: I've got mascara.

GUILFOYLE: She's crying. We have already broken her (inaudible).


ROGINSKY: I'm proud of you to give three minutes of work Obama in there.

GUTFELD: Yes. He should be pitted (ph) over this.


ROGINSKY: Definitely. It's hard for me to say because I'm stunned by the hotness before me every time I see this man on television. I'm sorry to Greg Gutfeld. But also I'm talking about the Patriots quarterback. So Tom Brady, you know, it's disappointing because.

GUILFOYLE: No one cares if he cheats or not.

ROGINSKY: . nobody cares if he cheat or not. He's too good looking. So, no. Cheat, don't cheat, I don't care.

GUILFOYLE: But that's -- look at him.

ROGINSKY: Look at him.

GUILFOYLE: Some of the fans are saying that.


GUTFELD: It's like it's OK because Peyton Manning looks like an ogre's big toe, he can't get away with cheating?

GUILFOYLE: No. That's right.

BOLLING: If he's going to cheat with a football, you don't think he's going to cheat on Gisele?


BOLLING: That moral.

GUILFOYLE: So do you think Gisele.


DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: How do you explain that to the children?

GUILFOYLE: How did he won up Gisele? I mean how does he -- yes?

ROGINSKY: Didn't he cheat on somebody to get to Giselle? Did he cheat on his first baby mamas to be with Gisele?

BOLLING: I think he did.

GUILFOYLE: All right. Well, this is not part of the call.


GUTFELD: Dana, you have an amazing theory on this.

PERINO: I didn't study for that particular part of the conversation. I think they will change the Carrie Underwood theme song to her other one and nobody care who gets that. Folks at home, you know exactly what I'm talking about, right? Tweet me. I think you do.

GUILFOYLE: Can you explain it to us?

PERINO: She has a song about cheating.


GUILFOYLE: Oh, I thought (inaudible) that he dated her because she dated Tony Romo.

PERINO: No. No. No.


ROGINSKY: I think what she's saying is it's a country song about cheating. Is that what you're trying to tell?



ROGINSKY: Why? All right. Just one. That country song is about cheating.

PERINO: You know, can I go back to the press conference which is really the only thing I kind of know about. So when he was asked, is Tom Brady a cheater? I think just he should have said "No. Next question," because this -- only in America could a story like this get this big.

GUILFOYLE: OK. And then some people are criticizing whether or not he should have dressed up for the occasion. I think he did it perfectly. I think that was planned and well orchestrated. If he wore a suit and tie he would look like a perp walk in the courtroom.

PERINO: And if you saw all of the press statements today from the organization, the team, all the different players, they are really long. They thought out -- they're thinking about the lawyers and they're all trying to focus on the fact that they are going to play this game and are going to try to figure out a way to beat Seattle.

GUTFELD: You know, we haven't heard from care (ph) because clearly this is another example of Islamophobia. What is the football made out of?

BOLLING: Pigs (ph).

GUTFELD: Yes. And that is Islamophobia.


GUTFELD: As you know I played for the Raiders in the 1970s under my assumed name, Mark van Eeghen, and we pull this stuff all the time. We did some crazy stuff, Casper, Hendrix, Matuszak, Stabler, Biletnikoff, Upshaw, Ray Guy, Shaw (ph). We did some naughty things. You know, what we did once? We poisoned the Gatorade of the entire USFL. That is why you don't hear from them, they are all dead.


GUTFELD: I'm going to keep going. I can't stop doing (inaudible).


BOLLING: We need six more minutes of (inaudible).


GUILFOYLE: I know. Bolling, where is the NFL on this now because obviously Tom Brady wants to get out and ahead of the story and say -- go on the record and say that he didn't cheat that he had nothing to do with this if anything was done. Obviously, he was trying to say that it is without his knowledge because he's the one who'll take a hit for it, right?


GUILFOYLE: So he's handler said, "You get out there first." BOLLING: Belichick gets out and throws in -- throws Brady under the bus. Brady picks himself up and throws the equipment manager under the bus. The NFL is under a lot of scrutiny because of what went on with Ray Rice a few months ago, right? So now, they have to come back tough. What they did though, they issued a statement today to the Kraft family -- the Kraft group which owns the Patriots saying we are going to go deep and far into this to find out what is really going on. And Kraft said, "You have open access to everything." So they are going to find out what happened if anything. The problem is they may find out nothing happened.

GUILFOYLE: And then what?

BOLLING: What I -- the latest I have heard is that the ball -- they bring the 12 balls to the referees. They don't really even check them for pressure. They look at them and make sure they're not overly stuffed (ph). They squeeze them a little bit. If it feels right, they'll go bring them out to the game.

PERINO: Like a grapefruit.


BOLLING: This could be the referee. Like a grapefruit.

GUILFOYLE: We have one issue here. Let's take a listen to this. This is Tom Brady contradicting himself. This is where people think he could be in a little bit of trouble.


BRADY: I like them at the way that I like them which is at 12.5. To me that is a perfect grip for the football. They did not feel different from the first half to the second half when supposedly they were inflated to the, you know, original -- even more inflated. I didn't notice any difference. I dint feel any difference between what was 13 pound football or 11 pound football the other night. So it's pretty irrelevant to me.


GUILFOYLE: Anyway, that was a whole other conversation about the Raiders. Anyway, so what do you think? So Brady gets out there and says this but this is a little bit of a contradiction because he is talking about the way he didn't feel the difference between the first half and the second half when supposedly they were inflated to the original or more inflated. What do you think about that? Because depending on how the way the score went down.

BOLLING: Scandals (ph). I cannot believe he said that. He contradicted himself.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, God. Can I tell you something?

BOLLING: I've tried.



BOLLING: I know. You are.

GUILFOYLE: I am going to vote Eric Bolling for the fool of the week for like the next 10 months.

BOLLING: Can I just tell you everyone.


BOLLING: I will be fool for the week because I have had (inaudible), you know, it's like coming out of my ears. But KG, you're doing a stellar job.

GUILFOYLE: I can't wait till your block. I am going to destroy it. Bolling is not allowed to speak for the rest of the block. Dana?


PERINO: OK. I think that, one -- here is the problem. There is too much time between the final game, the championship game and the Super Bowl. OK. I think they need to compress that so it is just one week so that something like this doesn't slow the momentum of excitement for the actual Super Bowl. How about that?

BOLLING: Wow. That's really good.


GUILFOYLE: There's too much money involved in football. That is why they will not take any of this down before the Super Bowl is played. It's the truth.


PERINO: There is a lot -- and I guess people want to buy their tickets and everything but, you know, (inaudible).

GUTFELD: But isn't the real crime here that Katy Perry is performing at the halftime show? That's the real crime here.


BOLLING: (Inaudible) and would that be considered cheating?

GUTFELD: They should put her in prison for a year as a symbolic gesture so children learn not to cheat because kids aren't going to pay attention until they see you are in jail. Does that make sense?

ROGINSKY: Because she cheated on her husband. I think as the whole cheating theme going on.

PERINO: Basically, you've got to come out.

ROGINSKY: I'm just starting that rumor. I don't know. You know what? We're on the cheating subject. Maybe somebody writes a country song about it. I don't know.

GUTFELD: I have no idea. All I know is I am having problems with the revolving door. Have you noticed the one outside?

GUILFOYLE: I am ignoring that. You know, this is obviously a train wreck. This is what happened. And now I am the captain of this titanic. Let's listen to something humorous.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And dance, gonna dance good friends. Chickichick jabajab. All I know is I know this is the bad guy and I know this is a good one. (Inaudible). Move. That guy bumped me. So what you are saying is you don't like her and then you buy a girl a second hand handbag? I think my face is happier fuzzy. I wonder how much do I offend you? Friends of mine know I don't like you. Oh, that's nice. Pick up that penny. I wasn't loved as a baby.


GUILFOYLE: All right. Well, you know with the NFL they got to poke some fun at themselves because they have had one scandal after the next. Dana, it doesn't stop.

PERINO: They'll be good. I believe that everyone in the NFL management is probably going to be very glad to have this season put behind them and have a clean slate. They have marketing and PR work to do. And I hope that they figure out a way to get fans reengaged. And not that people aren't going to watch, as people just sort of looking and go, "They don't love the institution as much as they could." And they have -- so I -- this is a good opportunity if them.

GUTFELD: I don't know -- I don't know if people really are paying attention to this. I mean not this but the actual controversy. I think this is something that fills type until the game like you said.

BOLLING: Well, it might do them.


GUILFOYLE: Ahead, could Saudi Arabia be the next domino to fall in the Middle East following the death of King Abdullah. That and much more coming up on The Five.


PERINO: Today Saudi Arabians said goodbye to their king. King Abdullah was buried this afternoon in the capital of Riyadh after passing away yesterday at age 90. His brother, Crown Prince Salman, has taken over the throne. Abdullah's death comes at a time of great turmoil in the Middle East. Yemen has just collapsed. ISIS has taken over parts of Iraq and Syria and Iran is moving closer towards a nuclear weapon. Here is more from Charles Krauthammer.


CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: The Saudis are looking at the Iranians in the north, the Iranian allies, which is essentially Iraq, Syria and Lebanon, on one side and Yemen now to the south and west under Iranian dominance and they are scared to death. That is why this is a double attack on us. It is a loss of an ally against Al-Qaeda and a huge geopolitical gain for Iran extending its influence over Arab states.


PERINO: Kimberly, the king's death did not come as a great surprise. He's been ill for a long time, but it comes at a time, as Charles Krauthammer is saying, that when we are looking at some great challenges in the Middle East. Do you think that there will be any abrupt changes?

GUILFOYLE: Well, I think obviously this does not help. The lack of stability to already such a troubled region and two areas, a portion as the president held up as great successes like Yemen. And so we see those have not been successes but failures. USD 340 million sunk into that area. Saudi Arabia has proven to be a crucial ally in gaining that stability that we need in that region. I'm actually encouraged that they acted so quickly with the succession plan. I think they are going to work fast to stabilize that area. I don't think Saudi Arabia is at risk. But let's be honest. Iran is in charge in Yemen now, which is a big problem. And we are going to be probably forced to not operate out of our base there which is crucial for us in terms of where we send out our predators, our reapers (ph) all from there. So that's not going to be good for us.

PERINO: And just three months ago, it was President Obama said that was a model of.


PERINO: . moderate democratic success in the Muslim world. Can I ask you, Eric? Do you see anything happening in the oil market? Gas prices are already way down. Oil is way down. Saudi sort of acts as the stabilizer.

BOLLING: The swing (ph) producer. And in what's going on recently, a lot of people believe that the kingdom -- Saudi kingdom has decided to let oil prices fall not pulling any production off because they're the ones that can speed up production or pull it off. Let prices fall, keeping the oil markets kind of flooded because they have always had a problem with Russia and they've always had a problem with Iran and they frankly don't like the fact that we are producing so much of our own oil here so they are allowing prices to fall. The way it works is there is a Saudi oil minister who represents OPEC. He is just a minister in name only. The real decisions are being made by the king -- by the king and the crown princes. Now, King Abdullah dies. King Salman takes over. Assuming this has been discussed that this is a policy that they go forward to continue to flood the oil markets. I would expect to see lower prices. If, on the other hand, King Salman is more inclined to raise price -- raise the price of a barrel of oil, which he could do overnight, that would help the Saudi king quite a bit. He may want to be, you know, to get kind of support -- yes -- from his people. He may want oil prices higher. The oil market didn't react today. At first it did, but kind of corrected itself. No person will really know exactly what their policy is going for.

PERINO: Interesting. Julie, let me ask you about modernizing and trying to push Saudi more into allowing women, for example, to drive. The king was considered somebody who was actually quite modern but that was relatively speaking. Vice President Joe Biden was going to go to the funeral. Do you think it is time to press the Saudis to do more on the social scale?

ROGINSKY: Well, you know, I think we can't and I, unfortunately, say that with a lot of reluctance but I think we can't because we do use the Saudis, as Eric pointed out, as the bulk work against the Iranians. And right now, what is going on is Saudi is very rightfully pumping they know too much oil but they're doing it to stabilize Iran. They're more concerned about Iran. We're more concerned about Iran and the rights of women than Saudi Arabia. Again, I don't say that with any joy, but I think our geopolitical interests take precedence over human rights interest. That's real politics (ph) that always has been and has been through every single administration, Republican or Democrat. There is too much going on at stake in the Middle East right now to rock the boat with the Saudis.

PERINO: Let me ask Greg. You were called to go as part of the delegation to the funeral. You turned it down. I would like to know why.

GUTFELD: Well, I got a lot of laundry to do. You know, it's just weird hearing about kings. It's like nothing ever changes in this troubled region. It's like the earth has its own game of thrones. It will never change. The disturbing thing, as you say, is this is a progressive ally that has Raif Badawi -- much I believe is his name -- who has received 50 lashes of 1,000 lashes for insulting Islam. He is trying to get a delay on the rest of the lashes because he might not be healthy for it. So apparently modernization includes flogging people for blasphemy, which is - - shows you how bad it is in this troubled region and it will always be troubled. And until we realize that religious ideology excuses such brutal behavior it will continue, which is why we must frack and we must drill and lay pipe instead of less we have to depend on fanatics the better. And then ideally one day, let's just build a dome over the United States.

PERINO: Like a bio dome?

GUTFELD: A bio dome and just say, "Screw the world."

BOLLING: Dana, can I ask a question?


BOLLING: Richard Engel of NBC, right? He reported today that President Obama issued a statement, a very robust statement, close statement with -- in sympathy of King Abdullah's death but Richard Engel points out that they didn't have a good relationship.

PERINO: So Richard Engel who has been reporting in the Middle East for as long as I remember, he is an expert and he knows this relationships very well. Of course, the president of the United States put out a nice statement last night saying he was close to the king and that they were good friends. And Richard Engel said that he was surprised by that because, in Engel's words, he said it was well known that the king did not even like -- actually, he said, he cannot stand President Obama. So the truth is probably somewhere in between. But sometimes you're friends with people on the world stage that you have to be because of security and stability and geopolitical reasons. So it's not like they are chums. How about that? I got to go to Saudi once.

BOLLING: How was it?

PERINO: Well, I got to go twice. I went -- it snowed.

BOLLING: Really?

PERINO: . one day when I was there. Yes. I mean it must have been like a global warming freak thing. But I was at the king's horse farm during President Bush's visit. It was very interesting and they were very nice to me.

BOLLING: That's great story.

PERINO: One guy told me not to eat a lot of hummus because I would get fat.

BOLLING: Well, there you go.

PERINO: And I was like, "Wow. Thanks for that tip." So that's a tip for all of you.

Ahead three YouTube stars landed interviews with President Obama. You're going to see one of the most unconventional interviews ever, next.


BOLLING: Welcome back. It's time for the fastest 7-1/2 minutes on television. Three appealing stories, seven (inaudible) minutes and one opposite (ph) host. First stop, the other day, we highlighted the hypocrisy of Al Gore and the climate hustlers crying climate foul from Davos, Switzerland where 1,700 private jets brought the worlds richest to talk about things like climate change and income inequality. You can't make that up. Our pal, Jon Stewart, followed us and took it even further.


JON STEWART, AMERICAN POLITICAL SATIRIST: 1,700 private jets. I can't you all have to fly around with private planes. Could you just jet pool? Can you believe how much climate we changed? And the other conference topics that may seem juxtaposed with the world's largest fleet of private jets seem achingly lacking in awareness? Global inequality, actually, the in flight magazine of the 1,700 strong Davos jet police (ph). It's the monsters of money.


BOLLING: OK. Jules, there it is. There it is. The hypocrisy alert.

ROGINSKY: True. Very hypocrite (ph) these guys, I love this. What is Davos all about? You tell me. You worked with them (ph). What do these people do? They get together. They -- I have seen pictures Charlie Gasparino on Facebook meeting Swiss Miss. I don't know what that is all about. I mean literally what do they do over there? Do they just count their money?

BOLLING: It literally is a week of talking about all the economic issues that trouble the world but it -- like we pointed out, 1,700 private planes when these people one of the things they talk about is climate change, and that alone, that carbon footprint of Davos has to be bigger than most things.

PERINO: But this is the biggest problem facing the world.

BOLLING: That's true.

PERINO: They also talked a lot about currency issues happening in Europe and the United States. In particular, there is a big vote coming this weekend in Greece that has to do a lot with their economy. So this is a meeting where they all get together so that they can rub elbows and make connections. I don't mind the face-to-face meetings. I do mind the preaching and the hypocritical preaching.

ROGINSKY: It sounds like -- remember Spectre and James Bond when they all get together like number one and number two rubbing the kitten.


ROGINSKY: That is what it sounds like -- Dr. -- that was just based on (inaudible).

BOLLING: Dr. Evil?


GUTFELD: You -- OK, you've got to focus on who is there. You've got Tina Brown. Remember Tina Brown. She's in "Talk" magazine and had a horrible show for a while.

Can I read one of her tweets? "Love my room at Hotel Europe, overlooking the snowy peaks. Raucous fondue dinner with the team, prepping our Women of Impact dinner tomorrow."

It's an odious stick of pretension. They do nothing for the world. It's for their ego. Then you've got Jeff Green, massive billionaire, left-wing billionaire, telling people that you should live within your means. This is a guy with a $200 million house. I'm sure when he says...

GUILFOYLE: How about the yacht and the plane?

GUTFELD: The yacht and the plane.

GUILFOYLE: Have you seen it?

GUTFELD: Yes, yes. And so he's telling America, the world to live within their means. I'm sure his poor nanny is really happy to hear that.

BOLLING: K.G., this feels like just another opportunity for every year the titans of business to get together and expense everything they want to expense for a week, including guests (ph) right now.

GUILFOYLE: Well, I've got a saying (ph), Greg. You have all these people there, the socializing, all the guys that have the yachts in the Hamptons and down in Florida. The guys that are flying and the G-6, G-7, call me. You know, it's a lot of fun. What can I say? They go there to take selfies with Angelina Jolie. They pat themselves on the back. They're really helping themselves and their own social standing. That's it.

GUTFELD: You're telling me that you won't date a guy with a G-6 but a G-7 is OK.

GUILFOYLE: I actually get motion sickness unless I have the bands on.

GUTFELD: Some people find that a turn on.

BOLLING: The president won't meet with Bibi Netanyahu, America's greatest Mideast ally, when he visits the U.S. in March, but he did find time to meet with someone else. GloZell Green is a YouTube celebrity whose videos include GloZell sitting in a bathtub filled with Froot Loops and milk and eating away. Mmm, mm, mm.

Now pardon me if I'm not beaming with American pride when I announce this sound bite. Here's our commander in chief with GloZell.


GLOZELL GREEN, YOUTUBE STAR: I cut all the hoods off his hoodies. I did. I did that to protect him, because I'm afraid when he goes outside...


GREEN: ... that somebody might shoot to kill him. And it's not like regular folks. It's the popo.


BOLLING: So, D., I get the youth outreach. He's gone too far, though?

PERINO: Well, let me say, I think that if I had gone into the Oval Office and said, "Hey, Mr. President, I really think that it would be a great idea if you did an interview with GloZell," he might have said, "What are you talking about?"

Now that said, I do admire President Obama for putting that aside, because he's figured out a way to reach all of these young people, with 43 million YouTube hits for GloZell. She was able to land an interview with the president.

It's not like he doesn't do a million other interviews. I don't think I would have recommended it, but I look at this and I think -- I think that any number of Republicans who do an interview with her and come out looking really good and really even be surprised that they were able to reach to people they hadn't reached before.

BOLLING: Right. Rick Riat (ph), a friend of yours, wrote a piece today on, saying that the Republicans need -- yes, the Republicans need to do more things like this. You agree with that?

GUTFELD: I don't know. It looks like she just sucked face with Kermit the frog. I don't understand.

GUILFOYLE: Don't knock it until you try it.

GUTFELD: You're into the frog thing, too, Kimberly?

GUILFOYLE: You have the unicorns.

GUTFELD: You're into SEALs and now frogs?

All right. I'm not outraged by this. I often think that a lot of these are antics that are meant to tweak the noses of the right. They know that -- when he sits down, he goes, "I'm going to do this, because I know that, you know, everybody at FOX is going to be ticked off." And he enjoys it.

So I prefer to, like, sit it out. This is like the equivalent of President Bush, you know, doing a sit down with Gallagher. Kind of tacky but who cares?

BOLLING: Can I throw this -- too many of them, though? Remember, Pimp with a Limp?

PERINO: I didn't like Pimp with a Limp, especially with the war against women, the so-called war against women that the Republicans are supposedly waging, and then he did an interview with Pimp with a Limp, and no one said a word.

GUILFOYLE: This just seems like they're trying to be too tool, like social media pandering. Seems sort of obvious and what's the point? I'm more concerned about the fact that the Middle East is on fire.

GUTFELD: Iran is terrified of him now.

GUILFOYLE: What's he going to do, put the fire out in the Middle East with GloZell Green's, like, bath milk? I don't know. I don't understand what's happening to this country. I have to go deal with my dual citizenship.

ROGINSKY: How dare Barack Obama talk to people who are not in the Washington press corps? How dare he reach out to young people who are on YouTube? Come on. This is like the same thing.

GUILFOYLE: What about Netanyahu? Can you give him ten minutes of his time?

ROGINSKY: He's given Bibi Netanyahu more than 10 minutes of his time. Why not talk to other people, too?

BOLLING: I've got to do this, because it's three stories. Finally, check out the finalist -- I'm sorry, a finalist, for the Doritos Crash the Super Bowl contest. It's awesome.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hey, Dad, can we have some Doritos?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Sorry, guys. I don't think I can reach that far. I guess I'll have to eat them all myself.

Man, I'm getting pulled over.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Mom, Dad is going to be a little late.


BOLLING: K.G., good one?

GUILFOYLE: I love it and I love Doritos. It's very funny, and they had such nice penmanship. Didn't they? Like the little fellows.

BOLLING: Greg, your thoughts on the kids in the back saying, "It's not our dad"?

GUTFELD: You know what? My -- what am I going to say? Oh, why does Doritos need to advertise? It is the most uniquely magical product ever made. There's no taste like Doritos in the natural world. I do not understand how absurd it is that people eat fish, which is a grotesque, foul, slimy urchin (ph), for dinner, and they relegate Doritos as a snack.

And I realized why it's a snack, because it tastes so good you can't have it as a main course. You can't have a Doritos steak because you would collapse. You would die. So you've got to turn it into, like, little snacks. It just shows Doritos trumps nature in the world of sustenance. It's also the one food that you can put on any other food, and it makes it better.

GUTFELD: Exactly. You put a Dorito on a Dorito.

GUTFELD: Didn't they have the Dorito tacos they brought in? They were so good. I don't know why you didn't work that into this segment.

PERINO: I used to love Doritos, but I have this whole list of foods that I can't eat anymore or don't eat anymore, and unfortunately, they're on it.


PERINO: Some people are blessed with -- you know, like you.

GUILFOYLE: I always eat the salsa (ph) chips that they have for the guests.

GUTFELD: Why do you hate Doritos? What's your problem?

PERINO: I don't hate them. I love Doritos, but I can't have them.

ROGINSKY: I actually hate Doritos.

GUTFELD: You hate Doritos?

ROGINSKY: I hate Doritos.


ROGINSKY: I do. Sorry, I do.


ROGINSKY: I hate Cheetos, too. I don't like the way they taste. I like Pringles.

GUILFOYLE: You don't like cheese?

ROGINSKY: No, I like Pringles. I don't like Doritos.

GUTFELD: Pringles is not -- Pringles comes in a can.

ROGINSKY: Exactly. That's the brilliance of it.

GUTFELD: You know what this proves? Liberals.

ROGINSKY: This is it. This is the partisan divide.

BOLLING: All right. Still to come on "The Five," my "Fool of the Week" and more. Stay tuned.

ROGINSKY: It's you!


GUTFELD: The New England Journal of Medicine ran a letter linking e-cigs to cancer, and the panicky media gobbled it up like a pot brownie. But how sturdy is this research? What might happen if you tapped lightly on their findings?




GUTFELD: Yes, under closer scrutiny, this blockbuster collapsed faster than Michael Moore in a spin class.

According to experts, the researchers found that vaping produces lots of formaldehyde, but only if you overheat the system. Meaning if you use the device wrongly, in a way that a user can't even tolerate, then it's harmful.

This would be like concluding that broccoli is deadly if you eat 300 pounds of it in one sitting. This would be like saying driving a car is deadly if you floor it in reverse on a narrow cliff while doing JELL-O shots in your underwear.

The point: if you create an unrealistic climate for harm you create the harm you seek, which allows researchers to elevate the risk, and that lands them in a prestigious journal.

As Reason magazine's Jason Sullum points out, the study author, James Pankow, is already backtracking, telling NBC, quote, "We are not saying e- cigs are more hazardous than cigarettes" and told Reuters they should have provided more context, admitting the authors just wanted to get it out.

Ah, science. What used to be about facts is now about fame, and the casualties are folks trying to quit a bad habit and get healthy. It makes you wonder what the New England Journal is smoking.

I've got to credit Leonard Gilroy, the director of government reform from Reason and Jacob Sullum from Reason for doing a lot of good work on this.

I'll go to you, Julie, because we've never talked about this before.

ROGINSKY: We've never talked about vaping, that's true.

GUTFELD: No. We haven't. And I have a theory that e-cigs don't necessarily look that cool, but by making them sound dangerous, they're turning it into an even cooler thing, which is precisely the opposite.

ROGINSKY: You think this was an industry study planted in the...?


ROGINSKY: You're right.

GUTFELD: Thank you.

ROGINSKY: You're right. I actually think vaping looks really creepy. I agree with you.

GUTFELD: Oh, I think it's great. Look.

GUILFOYLE: He loves it.

ROGINSKY: Oh, you vape?

GUTFELD: I vape every day.

GUILFOYLE: He's vaping.

ROGINSKY: Oh, my God.

GUTFELD: I haven't had a cigarette in a year.

ROGINSKY: Why can't you just quit like a normal person?

GUTFELD: This is -- I did quit.

ROGINSKY: Because I quit overnight. I just decided I was going to...

GUTFELD: You're a weirdo.

ROGINSKY: You have no discipline. You have no discipline. This is disgusting. Just quit.

GUTFELD: You are telling me I have no discipline?

GUILFOYLE: How dare you?

GUTFELD: And you support a president who raises taxes every time he wakes up?

ROGINSKY: But I quit since when I woke up...

GUTFELD: How dare you?

ROGINSKY: I woke up in 2005...

GUTFELD: You get out of here.

ROGINSKY: ... and I said, done, I'm out. You're going to throw the table (ph) off.

GUTFELD: This show stinks.



BOLLING: The guy over there.

GUTFELD: That guy over there. The guy Kimberly is mad at.


GUTFELD: This study, to me, seems like it is rushed out as politicians were pushing for a ban, like Cuomo is pushing for a ban right now.

BOLLING: And why?


BOLLING: And who is telling Cuomo, "You need to ban vaping"?

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

BOLLING: The tobacco industry. I'm sure there's some sort of monetary -- money tie...


BOLLING: ... there's a string somewhere with -- with a tobacco lobbyist saying, "We really need to ban vaping, because look at this study. Look how bad it is for you." Because as -- it's cheaper than smoking. Is it not?

GUTFELD: Yes. I saved 20...

BOLLING: So even when tobacco companies buy the vape companies and now they own it, they're still not going to turn the profit they would if you were smoking two or three packs a day. It's much more revenue friendly to them to have you smoke a cigarette instead of a vape.

So this is the way government and politics works. They want something done. They'll hit the lobby. The lobby hits the politicians. And then they back it up with some study that has probably been funded somewhere, some way, somehow. Am I wrong?

ROGINSKY: No, you're right, actually. I don't know about Cuomo, but you're right about that. Yes, for sure.

PERINO: I think you're wrong.

GUTFELD: OK. Answer, young lady.

PERINO: Because I think that the opposition to vaping actually, it doesn't necessarily have to do with the lobbyists, per se. It's just that -- just the -- there is such a visceral reaction against smoking and blowing that in my face, that people are holding onto past perceptions about smoking.


PERINO: And they don't realize what this is and how it is helping people.


PERINO: You've taken, like, five years off your face just by not smoking.

GUTFELD: Thank you for that. Where have I put it?

PERINO: That's the other thing. If people worry that they quit smoking, that they'll gain weight...


PERINO: ... this is a great way for you to stop smoking and not feel like you're going to gain weight.

GUTFELD: I think -- I don't know if that's the case, but I'll buy that.

Kimberly, I've said this before. If vaping had maybe been around 30 years ago, we'd have a lot more family members, probably, around because they would have stopped smoking and replaced it with something that doesn't have all the tar.

GUILFOYLE: I think it's a great alternative. I'm sure that it's not ever starting it or picking it up. But if you do, and you care and you want to make sure you're around for your family members, try it.


GUILFOYLE: Why not? I mean, the science is there that it's good. It's a good alternative. It's healthier and safe. And that's what you should be going with.

GUTFELD: There might be risks involved. You need to do research. But the research has to be real and it has to be accurate.

PERINO: And there's risks in everything.

GUTFELD: Yes, there's risks in everything. That is true. And on that note, we're going to go to a break.

Coming up, what Hillary Clinton's camp really thinks about President Obama. Hear it from a Clinton insider next.


ROGINSKY: One of the big questions ahead of 2016 is will Hillary Clinton distance herself from President Obama if she decides to run? According to one of her associates, her team is discussing it and told the National Journal, quote, "Obama can blame Republicans on all sorts of structural problems and get sympathy from a lot of us, but voters don't want to hear that. They want bleep done. He hasn't gotten bleep done."

So Dana, I'm going to come to you. When you were George Bush's press secretary, how much did you hate people calling you about anonymous sources close to the president, and you had no idea who it was or even if it was true?

PERINO: Well, I ran such a tight shop it didn't really happen to me very often.

No, anonymous sources are what they are, especially at this stage in the game. There's no --the campaign is not authorizing anybody to speak on the record, because she doesn't have a campaign. So it's all of this intrigue.

Plus, there's about 40,000 people who work for the Clintons who are trying to help her get reelected this time, and they all want to make sure that they're front and center with her so that they can get the plum jobs that they've been dying for since the year 2000.

There's four things this person said that could be different, that she's a consensus builder whereas Obama is a loner. She's a plodder and she's not a celebrity. I might quibble with that one. A listener, not a lecturer. Possibly. And a doer not a talker.

I think all of -- that's actually on the -- you're just writing that on the back of a piece of paper, and you say this is the campaign, how she would distance.


PERINO: I think that, at least for her at that point, in that moment in time, that is fairly persuasive.

ROGINSKY: Does that sound a little focus grouped to you? They decided to do attribute testing...

PERINO: The Clintons? Focus group?

ROGINSKY: ... and decide what four best attributes? What do you think?

GUTFELD: I mean, if -- if she does actually win and become president, I would say in terms of, like, revamping Air Force One, don't let Jeffrey Epstein involved.

ROGINSKY: Eric -- yes, that's a good idea -- nervous breakdown, move out of the country if Hillary gets elected? Or are you going to suck it up another 12 years?

BOLLING: You know how disturbing that comment really is? Listen to what this operative said, or this person said. Obama couldn't get things done. If Hillary gets in, she'll be able to get more things done. President Obama got Obamacare. He got amnesty for 4 or 5 million illegals. And if that's not getting stuff done and she's planning on doing more, more liberal, we're in...

ROGINSKY: Well, so Kimberly, it's true: you really can't blame the president for not getting stuff done, at the same time complain too much that he's gotten stuff done that you don't like. Right?

GUILFOYLE: I don't know. I think she'll pander a little bit to the base and give them a little bit of a hug, keep -- you know, keep them in line and she'll be still friendly with the president.

But she can use it to her advantage to say, "Look, I'm going to get things done. I'm going to be able to work better, center right, work with both parties, more bipartisan stuff."

Plus, she can say, "Hey, look at the Republicans. They were obstructionists. They didn't want to get anything done, and the president wasn't able to work with them. Try something new."

ROGINSKY: Great point. All right, "One More thing" is up next.


GUILFOYLE: It's time now for "One More Thing." If you're paying attention you would know that you are first.

BOLLING: Oh, that's me? It's Friday. Time for...

GUILFOYLE: Yourself.



GRAPHIC: Fool of the Week


BOLLING: OK. So last weekend Seth Rogen compared "American Sniper" to Nazi propaganda. He got huge, huge blowback for that, so he apologized. He screwed up, move on. Right? Wrong.

Last night, Seth doubled down. He tweeted this. Check it out. We have a full screen of that. "My grandfather was a veteran. My comment about the movie was not meant to have any political implications. I'm sorry if this somehow offended anyone."

And the point is, look, Seth, you made a mistake; move on to eat it. Don't come back days later and try and make a bad excuse for whatever you did because it gives the implication you're not really sorry about what you did. So for that, Seth, you are "Fool of the Week."

GUILFOYLE: OK. That was weird.

BOLLING: It was?

GUILFOYLE: Well, there's context to that. Dana.

PERINO: Dana. I'm next. OK. You know the best thing about traveling? Is when you get on a plane and you get the Sky Mall magazine. The catalogue, the Sky Mall catalogue. Well, unfortunately, they are going to be filing for bankruptcy, because you know, technology has changed. They have WiFi. You can just order their right...

GUTFELD: What's WiFi?

PERINO: WiFi? It's this thing, Greg, that you'll learn about.

GUILFOYLE: That we don't have in Studio D.

PERINO: There are great products. One of the -- one of my favorites was the dog breed toaster.

GUTFELD: Really?

PERINO: You tell them the dog breed you had, and when you made a piece of toast, it would put your dog on the toast.

GUTFELD: Our viewers really like that.

GUILFOYLE: You can get that made with people's faces, Dana, actual humans.

PERINO: Yes. Well, that would be -- that would be weird.


GUILFOYLE: We did it.

PERINO: Anyway, so Sky Mall, it's not going to be there anymore.

GUTFELD: That's a shame.

PERINO: What are people going to do?

GUTFELD: I don't know.

GUILFOYLE: No one knows. Leave it up to a big mystery. Julie.

ROGINSKY: So, I don't know, ladies, if you've ever experienced true love like this, but a little boy today showed me exactly what true love is all about. Take a look at this.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: This is amazing. I got my first kiss today, and it's just so mind-blowing that I can't just feel it. It goes to my brain. It goes to my heart. It goes to my brain so much. It just goes kablooie.


ROGINSKY: All right. Well, the cynics around this table apparently don't really...

PERINO: Go out and play.

ROGINSKY: You know what? My first kiss was not nearly as nice. It was a guy named Ed. He wanted to go to second base right away. I said no. He told everybody I was a prude and told everyone else that, too. Did not go that well. So I salute you, Griffith -- Griffin, this little boy.

GUTFELD: Ed McMahon?

ROGINSKY: It was not Ed McMahon but close.

GUTFELD: Ed Henry?

ROGINSKY: It was Ed Henry. There you go.

GUILFOYLE: Good thing you didn't marry that WEIRD, bad kisser.

ROGINSKY: I did not.

GUILFOYLE: But if you did, you could divorce him and then you could get a machine gun and blow away your wedding dress. That's my "One More Thing" today. So there you go.

In Vegas, this is the new spa day. So and this is a way -- it's cathartic to, if you want to say, "Hey, listen, I'm moving on with my life, didn't work out," go on fully auto and blast away for $499. God, how fun.

PERINO: That might cost more than the dress.

GUTFELD: I'm on "O'Reilly" tonight, the show. And I'll be with Bernie. And we'll be discussing all sorts of things. It's going to be a delightful show.

GUILFOYLE: Wow. That's weird.

GUTFELD: Trust me.

GUILFOYLE: That's it for us. Have a great weekend, everybody. "Special Report" is next.

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