This is a rush transcript from "The Five," September 1, 2014. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone, happy Labor Day. I'm Kimberly Guilfoyle, along with Bob Beckel, Eric Bolling, Andrea Tantaros and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5 o'clock in New York City, and this is "The Five."
Hi. Well, thank you for joining us tonight. On this Labor Day, while millions of Americans remain unemployed, President Obama won't give up trying to convince us that we're all better off with his economy.
(BEGIN VIDEO TAPE)
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: It's pretty hard to find an economic measure where we're not significantly better off. We recovered faster. We've gone farther than almost any country on earth. The good news is the economy clearly is getting stronger. Things are getting better. Thanks to the decisions we made to rescue and rebuild our economy and you hard work and work in resilience, America's leading again.
(END VIDEO TAPE)
GUILFOYLE: But are we really better off? Because more than a third of Americans say they are worse off than they were five years ago, according to a new Federal Reserve report. Less than half those surveyed said they couldn't even cover a $400 expense without borrowing or selling something. In a recent poll shows 76 percent of adults lack confidence that their kids will have a better life than they do. So, are we all better off with President Obama's economy? Ask yourself that question, Eric.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: I said, I see what you did there. It's Labor Day. You're talking about jobs, right? That's very good, K.G. Did you know 109 million Americans actually get some form of welfare? So clearly one in three Americans are somehow getting something from the government.
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Including Social Security net?
BOLLING: I'm including everything, Bob, 109 million Americans getting something. They are not money that they paid in, talking about welfare, transfer payments...
BECKEL: Not Social Security, OK.
BOLLING: So that coupled with 63 percent labor participation rate, one of the lowest in the last 40 years, household net worths are actually down since President Obama took over. It's a sad picture, it shouldn't be Labor Day, it should be lazy day, people aren't working. The biggest...
GUILFOYLE: But why aren't they working? Because they don't want to, they're not out getting the jobs, or the jobs quite simply aren't there?
BOLLING: Here's what going on. The manufacturing and the tech jobs, they're going overseas. This week we heard about, you know -- but those are high- paying administrative jobs -- they're going elsewhere, they're going to Canada, they're going to other countries. What we are having -- what we do continue to have is fast food workers at the Burger King at the french-fry counter, not at the management level. So we're creating all these part-time fast food jobs, and all our important, high-paying jobs...
BECKEL: Is that why Obama is wealthy? He orders them to send people out of the country?
GUILFOYLE: Warren Buffett is one of the biggest finance contributors.
BOLLING: Business environment that we have here in America, that's what's going to happen. The good jobs are going to go elsewhere.
GUILFOYLE: Right, so Andrea, we have the, you know, punitive essentially tax system in this country where the more you make, the more we will punish you and stifle the creativity and the entrepreneurship out of your body until you're lamed at life, unless you have no choice but to move to Canada.
BECKEL: When he gone?
ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: And that's exactly what Burger King -- it's funny, Eric, should mention that -- Burger King last week tried to become a Canadian citizen. So you have companies, K.G., that are running away from the United States of America instead of to the United States of America, because of our oppressive tax system.
BECKEL: Reverse border issue.
TANTAROS: President Obama tried to tackle this with a Simpson Bowles Commission, which it's one thing, Bob and I agree on. They came together. It wasn't a perfect tax structure that they proposed, but it was a bipartisan plan, and the president, he didn't touch it. I mean, maybe he used it for kindling this winter, and burns it up because no one looked at it on Capitol Hill. We have the highest corporate tax rate. So it's really hard to create jobs and ObamaCare has really shifted us into this part-time anemic economy. Now, the Fed Chairman, Janet Yellen, though they've pumped tons of money into the economy, you have a number of people who I do believe want to work, but you've got people, K.G., Ph.D. master's degrees, as Eric points out, working part-time jobs. It's a really sad state. They can't find full-time work. More people are working part time than in the state of Washington alone. That's a huge number of people. And I know, Bob's going to go yeah, but the stock market, the stock market, when Clinton at least was in office, you had a raging stock market and a raging labor market. We only have one. You need the labor market.
GUILFOYLE: We had some other raging things when Clinton was in office, too, Greg.
TANTAROS: He had a couple.
GREG GUTFELD, CO- HOST: Well, I'm really depressed. Happy Labor Day, everybody. OK. Let's go find the nooses. Go down to the hardware store to hang yourself. Look, actually, this is a testament to the strength of our free market system, that it can sustain such internal attacks by those in charge. Leftism is like a massive trailer that you attach to a race car. And the economy, the capitalist economy is that race car that just moves a little slower as it pulls this burden of liberalism. In a weird way, President Obama is praising the very system that he despises when he says look, things are coming together. What's he's really talking about is the resiliency, the cyclical nature of our economy, its ability to withstand the kind of damages that a bloated government does. Now, remember, the government will always continue growing. To him, that is an economy. He looks at a government as its own separate economy. And profit is seen as debt and then in the government, debt is actual profit because it means you've expanded. The economy actually shrank by 3 percent. That means the government actually grew by comparison. That is a victory in his mind.
GUILFOYLE: All right. Well, that was an interesting take on it. Bobby.
BECKEL: (Inaudible) Well, this is Labor Day. (Inaudible) Listen, all this is -- we have a high corporate tax rate. That's right. We also have the most number of deductions available to corporations. They pay lower taxes than an awful lot of European countries do. And under Obama, I have not seen corporate taxes go up all that much. I don't know what everybody's talking about. Now, individuals have gone up some. Not much. I mean, Eric's went up. Mine went up. Probably the three of us here went up a little bit, but...
BECKEL: Yeah. But I don't understand the -- and you know, here's the other thing from a political standpoint.
BOLLING: Fact check here a little bit. We have the highest corporate tax rate in the free world.
BECKEL: Yeah, but we have the highest number of deductions.
BOLLING: But we have the highest corporate tax rate in the world. All right, Bob, how would you explain Pfizer, Burger King, Jumping Ship going to other countries?
BECKEL: Because a lot of these third-world countries have now become prosperous like Brazil and India.
BECKEL: And these guys will sell their country out in a second with their cheap labor.
BOLLING: It's not cheap labor. They're not sending managers over there to get cheap managerial labor.
BECKEL: Yes, they are.
BOLLING: They're going over of that, it's called an inversion. It's a tax inversion. They're going over there to specifically to capture lower income tax, corporate...
BECKEL: The other thing about why this is not going to be a big political issue is compared to where people thought they were five or six years ago, things are better. And so it's not a...
GUILFOYLE: But where are you getting that from, because that's in direct contradictions to the polling.
BECKEL: No, no, it's not. What did you say the number of people said they were worse off five years ago?
GUILFOYLE: What was it, 76?
GUTFELD: Bob's getting at actually a fact. Sometimes very shocking, but you are getting to a fact. The offspring are actually better off, but it has nothing to do with how much money they're making. It has to do with life span and luxury. A poor kid today has more gadgets and electronics than the king of England at the turn of the 20th century. We lead better lives thanks to progress in medicine, we have amazing hygiene, ulcers are gone, AIDS is a manageable disease. Some cancers, they're cured, if they're caught early. We actually live in the greatest time to be alive on this planet, but that has nothing to do with the money that we're making. It has to do with the innovation of the American people and their ability to create things. What's missing, however, what we're losing in all this, family tradition, meaning patients, the community is dying. We're watching that. The strike that we're seeing in our country has to do with the decline in community.
BECKEL: That's the most important point because by the way, every industrial country in the world is exporting jobs out to cheap labor markets. Come on.
GUILFOYLE: You know what, Bob, why can't we want to do more and to make it better? Who cares who is in office for? Look at this guy, he's president until 2016. What's he going to do to encourage citizens to stay here in this country and stimulate the economy?
If you're a CEO of a business and you have a responsibility to get a big bottom line, and you know you can get cheaper labor by going over to...
TANTAROS: ObamaCare has any business that's above a certain number of employees that has to cover these employees, many of these businesses have cut their workers down to part-time status, OK? A lot of these businesses like, Eric, mentions Pfizer, one of the first companies to the table to push for Obamacare. Then goes and pulls a huge hypocritical move and tries to move over to the U.K. to hide his taxes.
BECKEL: I know you know a lot about ObamaCare, but I sat next to, Eric Bolling, (inaudible) ObamaCare, Obamacare, one issue that's going to be out there in November.
BOLLING: That's because of every ensuing scandal has piled up about the IRS, we've got the DOJ, we've had the...
BECKEL: We have 1 person of the vote will be on ObamaCare.
GUILFOYLE: All right, but let's about this, because you touched on November and the midterm elections, everything coming up. How is this going to impact? Will the economy play a big role in the mid-term elections? Let's take it around.
BECKEL: No. It will not because everything else, expectations matters in politics. And expectations about the economy are better than they were before. I think the democrats will take a bidding (ph) because of the turn- out. I don't think there's a lot of excitement about there but the best thing going for the democrats is they're running as republicans. So by far, this Republican Party today is the worst most vacuous Republican Party in history.
BOLLING: So, Bob, you would agree that looks like he, obviously though, the republicans, they were taking the house and they had a very good chance of taking set...
BOLLING: So I think, yes, if that's -- if there's no other indication, then that's it. You get the house, you get the senate, republican and then, you know what really is weighing on the American people, $4 a gallon gasoline. I don't care what you say. You go to Middle America and you pull into a gas station, it's 4 bucks a gallon. It doesn't matter how much money you make on the east coast or west coast, it stinks and that is...
BOLLING: The only time it's ever been $4 a gallon is...
BECKEL: Is when?
BOLLING: In spite President Bush opened up offshore drilling, it went back down, it's never been 4 until Obama append almost a full term of...
GUILFOYLE: Andrea, what issues do you think are going to be big play right now for the democrats coming up if they're going to be able to try and hold at least half, what are we going to see from there?
TANTAROS: I think, Bob, makes a very good point about republicans and getting their act together on messaging. The unemployment rate was so much lower under President George Bush and democrats were screaming from the rooftops, but it is all relative. I mean, people are saying the economy was falling apart in 2008. And now, it's better than it was before. However, you mentioned managing expectations, Bob. President Obama said he would fix all of this, and he promised the millennials a lot. Even though they have all these gadgets and these great toys and this wonderful technology innovation, they don't have jobs. And they're strapped with amazing astronomical college debt.
BECKEL: I couldn't agree with you more.
TANTAROS: Businesses are petrified to move forward because they don't know what's going to happen. The one thing they do have certainty on is possibly gridlock for the next two years. But I really do think Obamacare is going to be a lot bigger than you think. My sister said as she deliver these news to her small businesses on health care, she said look, you can keep your plan. Obama said you can keep your plan, but it will go up 100 percent. People are feeling not good about this economy, Bob.
BECKEL: Two, the right wing of the Republican -- the Tea Party people that everybody said was such a great infusion has cost the Republican Party dearly. They should have won the senate the last two times around. They should have. They put these witches and wackos.
GUTFELD: There were three of them, unlike the 20 or 30 in your party. The Republican Party is not defined by the extremists the way your party is.
BECKEL: Yes, it is.
GUTFELD: Your party may have, by exception, a few moderates, but your party has veered so left. we now have a democratic candidate who's running as a conservative by comparison. Hillary is a conservative compared.
BECKEL: You're exactly right. They have suffered from being liberals. But if you look at the polling, these are facts that the American people have a very negative view of the Tea Party and they worry about the Republican Party which they used to think was a reasonable party, because unreasonable, they thought the democrats were reasonable for some time.
GUTFELD: I think that they feel critical of everybody in government. From the Tea Party and one end to occupy Wall Street and the other. Look, about the midterms, people who are worried about the country and care will vote. The people who don't care will not vote. That's the power of dependency. You don't have to vote. If you're already getting what you need, you don't have to vote. That's the beauty of being a liberal.
TANTAROS: I think that visual, Bob, of the president golfing and being detached and the democrats piling on to him for not being as engaged, I do think when you pile that on to all of the scandals, the IRS, when you pile that on to the V.A. scandal, when you look at what's happening with the world burning and Obama teeing off literally playing golf and going to bachelor parties, I think it's really a bad situation for democrats right now.
BECKEL: There's no doubt about that, but it's not nearly as bad as it could have been. The republicans should win this thing in a romp.
GUILFOYLE: Right, and Bolling, you're saying the number one issue, the people should vote with their pocketbooks, right? Do I have cash to put a gas in my car and feed my kids and pay my bills.
BOLLING: And they will, but the problem, and Greg, you're right. You don't have to vote when you're getting stuff, but they do vote so they can continue to get this stuff and therein lies the problem, by the way, once you hit 51 or 52 percent, forget it, you'll never see another republican in office again. That's why if you're a republican you're sick of it and you've got to get out and vote. You got to make sure you don't hit that tipping point.
BECKEL: And become a minority (inaudible).
GUILFOYLE: All right, well, that was a very interesting block. I like it.
GUILFOYLE: Exactly. Next on "The Five."
BECKEL: More upbeat than the first one.
GUILFOYLE: It's that time of year again, back-to-school time. College freshmen are beginning their first year on campus, and we've got advice for them on how to survive their first year and beyond coming up. We're sending Bob back to school.
GUTFELD: A website made a list of rookie mistakes that freshmen make in their first week in college. Most of it was stupid stuff like locking yourself out of your dorm room.
The real mistakes? Not forcing students to learn these four things.
Number one, where stuff comes from or how things are made.
Number two, how stuff gets paid for like your tuition, iPad and prescription medication.
Why most of the world is still a mess as America prospers for now.
If you teach these three things, then every anti-western professor on campus looks like a moron, which is why they avoid such truths and you must learn it on your own.
The fourth thing one must learn -- and it's important -- do not mistake sheep for rebels. You'll be swamped by people who acclaim that they are outspoken and edgy. They will try to impress their differences on you as a method of expressing their fake uniqueness. They will wish to raise awareness and debate gender politics loudly. They will wear victim hood as a badge of honor, when it's just a substitute for identity.
It's an alluring shtick and weaker minds and spines fall for it. Identity politics is the 7-Eeven of self-esteem, a quick stop to become whoever you are.
But if it's so easy, how could it be unique? How could it mean anything?
Like all ideologies, it creates a dead mind. It stops thought, the kind that challenges their narrow view. So they go to college, and their mind atrophies.
So here's my tip, when the lockstep comes lurking, masquerading as rebellion: Tell them you got over that in kindergarten.
All right. Andrea, do you have any tips for college incoming freshmen, things that they should know about?
TANTAROS: I do.
GUTFELD: I'd like to hear them. In alphabetical order, please.
TANTAROS: Let's see, A, taking too much advantage of your meal plan. The freshmen 15 is real, everybody. Girls, it's very, very real, so be very, very careful.
GUTFELD: Should they care if they're gaining weight?
GUTFELD: They should?
TANTAROS: Yes, you should. Believe me, you should. You should, you should.
BECKEL: Did you gain 15 pounds?
TANTAROS: I gained a couple pounds.
BECKEL: I see.
TANTAROS: I did. Getting sloppy at house parties, that's another one. First impressions are everything. You will get a reputation if you do something really stupid at a fraternity party.
BECKEL: When you call it stupid (inaudible).
TANTAROS: Well, most people would agree with me, Bob.
GUTFELD: You went at a different time, Bob.
GUILFOYLE: Thank God.
TANTAROS: Choosing to stay together with your high school sweetheart, I'm telling you, you spend so much time on the phone having these long conversations, oh, I miss you, I miss you, too, I miss you, too. Forget it, it's not gonna last. He'll probably cheat on you, you'll cheat on him. Just go out and have fun with your girlfriend.
BECKEL: Did you ever have one in high school?
TANTAROS: No, never. And I'm always, like, just break up with him and have some fun.
GUTFELD: That is so sad. All of us have either been on one side or the other of that relationship. Somebody goes away and then they call and then you do the same thing and then everything happens.
TANTAROS: And you spend your freshmen year sobbing instead of going out...
GUTFELD: I ended up three years in jail for that one. Eric, anything that you -- a tip that you would give to a young...
BOLLING: Live on campus.
GUILFOYLE: I like that.
BOLLING: Just at least your first year, if you want to move off after your first year then do it.
TANTAROS: Senior year.
BOLLING: Absolutely. Eventually, but at least one or two years, I happened to live in the fraternity house for four years, loved it. But stay -- you almost did. But get to know the campus, get to know the people. It's a great experience. Also, I would stay single for a while. And Ang, I agree with you that keeping that person, that significant other from high school is a bad thing...
TANTAROS: Dump them today. Dump them today. Pick up the phone.
GUTFELD: There are children watching this show going, these people are evil.
TATAROS: No, we're right. We know.
GUTFELD: I said children because I'm very old. Bob, do you miss college and its perceived lack of responsibility?
BECKEL: Oh, absolutely. But listen, here's one of the things. I want to -- you've got an opportunity now so, maybe three or four days of college so far, because Greg's right, every college is a communist, socialist, disgraceful, anti-western, anti-capitalist place. Get out. Go to trade school. That's what you need to do.
BOLLING: Oh, right.
BECKEL: The fact of the matter is, there really are some schools like that, not all. I think college is the best four years of my life. And I went through the anti-war movement, it was pretty ugly. We had some kids killed at Kent State, in Jackson State. But it was still a wonderful time. I had - - well, you could do whatever you want and drugs were -- you don't want to use drugs now because they're much more complicated now. When I was there, they were straightforward. But the other thing is...
GUILFOYLE: This is not good advice.
BECKEL: The other thing is, I would stay on -- that's exactly right. And don't fall for this love of the first one you see. I was out taking my daughter to boulder, they're everywhere, everywhere, man. Just don't pick right now, you know, they'll be around just take your time.
GUTFELD: You truly are the Buddha of advice.
BECKEL: Thank you.
GUILFOYLE: Here's the advice, don't break up with anybody, keep them all. Breaking up makes people sad...
BECKEL: You know a lot about that (ph).
GUILFOYLE: You don't enroll in just one class in college, do you?
GUTFELD: Good point.
GUILFOYLE: You take several. Go home and see your boyfriend when you go back home. See your parents. See everybody. Have your boyfriend in college. It's all going to work out.
BECKEL: Oh you kept two. You kept one in college and one at home?
GUILFOYLE: I'm just saying.
BOLLING: What happens when you call your boyfriend at home, he calls, hey Kimberly, little Kimberly, turn your iPhone on, I want to Facetime you. Now go around the room and show me what's going on in your room. It's a little different now.
GUILFOYLE: Hi, sweetie, I'm in the bathroom, just call you in 15 minutes.
BECKEL: Who is that under that blanket over there?
GUTFELD: A suggestion, if you're in college, you've got to somehow create a phone-free zone. So your stupid behavior doesn't follow you the rest of your life because it's different.
GUILFOYLE: It's different nowadays, that's the problem, the texts, this and that. Now you have to be available versus like oh, I can't call you back because I have to stand in line for the pay phone in the hallway. Now, those were the days.
BECKEL: Big surprise, I got really loaded when I got in line for breakfast the next morning, I was at the wrong college. I said, gosh, this is much better food. What happened?
GUTFELD: The ending of that story could have been far worse.
GUILFOYLE: Far worse.
GUTFELD: As I woke up one morning and just...
BECKEL: You ever lost your car when you're loaded?
GUILFOYLE: No, Bob.
BECKEL: I lost my shoes and my car once.
GUILFOYLE: And your mind.
BECKEL: That was gone a long time ago.
GUTFLELD I think this is the point where you close the segment.
GUILFOYLE: I think so.
GUTFELD: All right. Next, if you're one of a lot of people looking for jobs this Labor Day, we've got some advice for what not to do when you land the job interview, so stay tuned.
ED HENRY, FOX NEWS CORREPONDENT: I'm Ed Henry in Washington with a look at the headlines. President Obama spent part of his Labor Day in Milwaukee. The president told a friendly audience he'll press congress to raise minimum wage in the same way he courted his wife, never taking no for an answer. Meanwhile, the president is still taking heat from critics over his statement that he does not have a plan yet for dealing with ISIS terrorists in Syria. Senate Intelligence Committee Chairwoman Dianne Feinstein, a top democrat, told NBC that ISIS is a major varsity team, a play off the president's junior varsity characterization earlier this year. Today British Prime Minister David Cameron is calling for new laws to give his government power to seize the passports of Britons suspected of traveling abroad to fight with the terrorist groups. Friday, Britain raised the terror threat level from substantial to severe. Now back to The Five in New York with the latest.
TANTAROS: Well, a lot of Americans are unemployed and looking for jobs this Labor Day. And if you're one of them and need some tips on what not to say during a job interview, we've got them. Here are some things that career advisers suggest.
Don't tell the interviewer you're really nervous. No company wants to hire someone who lacks confidence. So fake it that you're not.
"Let's talk money." Don't ever discuss salary in the early stages of the interview process. Only near the very end when they really like you and you like them.
And then there's this one: "My current boss or employer is awful." It's not classy, and it will just make you sound bitter if you trash them; negative and petty.
So Greg, do you have any other tips for people who may be going on job interviews now that the hiring market speeds up?
GUILFOYLE: Positive tips.
GUTFELD: I will say this. That I remember when I was much younger looking for work a lot. These stories are the same. They're always the same. They're recycled crap. Everybody knows this. Everybody knows this. These are the incompetent people that are writing this. Don't listen to these people.
Actually, you know the most important thing? It's not the questions. It's not the questions you ask. It's how you ask them. The problem with present generations is the English language, saying "like" all the time. It's something that, when I looked at -- when I was starting to hire editors and writers, I was always genuinely interested in how they spoke, and that told me how bright they were.
And also, I hate small talk. I like -- I like silence. I like people who -- I hire almost all the time people who -- no, but I only hire quiet people. I really do. And then -- because then you know that they're thinking. They're thinking. The hardest part...
GUILFOYLE: You're making that assumption.
GUTFELD: ... is don't flirt with me. Just don't flirt with me in the interview, because that never works. Ever. Ever.
GUTFELD: That's why I didn't hire Dobbs.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh. You have done it now.
TANTAROS: Eric, what are your employment tips?
BOLLING: Look, stay focused.
BOLLING: Stay positive. None of the negative stuff. As Greg points out, this literally could have been a segment 25 years ago on a talk show.
And one other thing. If you get turned down, don't take no. Go back and say, "Is there another job? Maybe there's a job that I wasn't applying for, a job pays less."
GUTFELD: Job stalking.
BOLLING: Well, yes -- no, because you just want in. If you really -- if that's where you want to be, I mean, whatever. Yes, let's just leave it at that.
BECKEL: My advice to y'all is very simple. Know a lot about the company before you get in there. That's good.
GUILFOYLE: This is real advice. That is good.
BECKEL: It's -- I mean, really know. From its stock price to whatever else you need to know about it.
Then the next thing is, guys, take a shower within a week of the interview. Ladies, forget this conservative dress stuff. You're probably being interviewed by guys here.
GUTFELD: No, Bob.
BECKEL: Wear some of your best stuff.
And then the other thing is, I would look over -- it takes some initiative. Don't be a wuss. Look over and say, "You know, this company sucks. I could do so much more if you hired me to make this thing work. OK? Look at it, your stock prices are down. You've got a bunch of wussy guys from Harvard here. Come on, I could help you out."
TANTAROS: OK. Kimberly, do you have any new tips for interviewers, or would you just like to rebut Bob?
GUILFOYLE: Yes. I would say do everything the exact opposite of what...
BECKEL: No, I said the serious thing.
GUILFOYLE: You had one really good one, which was know a lot about the company. I think that's true. When people come here and want an internship, want to work for FOX, they can't even tell me what the lineup is of, like, who we've got on.
GUTFELD: You're made because they don't know who you are.
GUILFOYLE: That's a big -- not me, but they should know, like, O'Reilly and Hannity, for the love of God.
BECKEL: You -- how many of them do you think are Republicans and how many Democrats?
GUILFOYLE: That's a layup. I don't know.
But you know what? I do think you should dress the part. Like if you want to go in and get a job, work in a place -- even if you have to make an investment. There's places out there you can buy clothes, you know, not too much. Look good. Make sure it's clean. Don't go with a big, greasy chipotle stain on your chest, unless you want them to look there.
BECKEL: And a short skirt, too.
GUILFOYLE: No. Not a short skirt. It depends on who you're interviewing with. You don't want them to think you're a liability or a distraction in the workplace.
GUTFELD: He is a liability and a distraction in the workplace.
TANTAROS: Every moment of the day.
I think yours was really good. I remember my first job interview. It wasn't what I really wanted, but it was a job. And I let them know that I was willing to learn and do whatever it took. And they hired me. And I didn't like it. But you just have to get your foot in the door. And then you can move around quickly.
BECKEL: I have one serious point. I have one serious point. Those of you who are going to make a lot of money and the next economy is up, start your own business. I mean, you're not going to make any more unless you're a hedge fund guy.
GUTFELD: But you're a liberal. You don't like small businessmen.
TANTAROS: You've got to get a little money in the bank first.
BECKEL: I do. You're wrong.
TANTAROS: OK. As summer winds down, we've got something very important to figure out next. What was the song of summer 2014? The one on the radio that you've been belting out while cruising down the highway and car dancing? Every summer has one. We'll tell you our favorites up next.
BOLLING: Well, every summer has a standout song that you hear on the radio, you know, five times during a 15-minute car drive. Summer 2012 was "Call Me Maybe."
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(MUSIC: CARLY RAE JEPSEN'S "CALL ME MAYBE")
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: Last summer it was definitely "Blurred Lines."
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(MUSIC: ROBIN THICKE, "BLURRED LINES")
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: Bob's traumatized.
BOLLING: 2014, here are a few in the running.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(MUSIC: IGGY AZALEA'S "FANCY")
(MUSIC: MAGIC!'S "RUDE")
(MUSIC: ARIANA GRANDE'S "PROBLEM")
(MUSIC: NICO & VINZ'S "AM I WRONG")
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: So what are our favorite songs of the summer? Or maybe our least favorite? So we're going to go around the table. We picked one. It's so hard. I love summer music. You're just kind of hanging out on the beach...
GUILFOYLE: Love it.
BOLLING: ... having a cocktail and just listen to the music that's playing. My -- probably the one that's going to remind me of summer 2014 the most -- here, we'll play a little piece of it.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(MUSIC: SAM SMITH'S "STAY WITH ME")
(END VIDEO CLIP)
TANTAROS: You're joking.
BOLLING: No, I love that song.
TANTAROS: Is that really your pick of the summer?
BOLLING: For the summer, yes. I absolutely adore that song, and some of his other work.
TANTAROS: It's very -- it's very sensitive of you.
GUILFOYLE: Yes, it is. It's kind of like romantic or something.
BOLLING: Summer is like you kick back.
BOLLING: You have a drink on the beach. You relax, get some sun.
BECKEL: You made -- you made this...
BOLLING: Listen, you know I love classic rock is, like, what I really like. But summer it's a little different.
TANTAROS: That's very metrosexual.
BECKEL: Let's get -- I never heard of the thing, but who's next?
BOLLING: Andrea's next.
GUILFOYLE: Yes, Andrea, liven it up.
TANTAROS: I remember seeing you rocking out, hanging out with you and your wife, to that "Rude" song.
TANTAROS: Katy Perry.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(MUSIC: KATY PERRY, "BIRTHDAY")
GUILFOYLE: Because it's awesome.
TANTAROS: So you're going to hear it over and over every time there's someone's birthday till the end of time.
BOLLING: That's horrible.
TANTAROS: And also the Lorde "Tennis Court" song. I like that one, too.
BOLLING: That's good. Lorde, "Tennis Court" is good too.
GUILFOYLE: This is why we have to remember to be uplifting and do Katy Perry Radio on Pandora instead of -- what was the other stuff? Thousand Years Radio and Christina Perri. We're like, "Ooh, hoo, hoo," crying. That's not uplifting.
TANTAROS: Sounds like Eric would like that.
BOLLING: Greg, do you have anything that's uplifting?
GUTFELD: I question the premise on this, because I don't listen to the -- who listens to the car radio anymore? And every long drive, everybody's doing their own thing. They're on their iPods. I have not literally turned on a radio -- I can't remember the last time I turned on the radio.
GUILFOYLE: OK. Like, you know, iPod, whatever, Pandora.
GUTFELD: Well, you know, I think human beings gravitate towards the things that they liked when they were teenagers. Like they find -- like so I listen to a band called The Horrors who have a new song called "So You Know," which sounds exactly like everything I listened to in the 1980s.
GUILFOYLE: I'm surprised.
GUTFELD: This is a huge band. But no, they remind me of every single band from the Echo and the Bunnymen from Public Image, Gang of Four, Clash. All of them in one big band.
BECKEL: You have a bunch of guys on bad acid trips is what you have.
BOLLING: Two of the greatest things, Shazam and Pandora, though. You hear something you like. Shazam, you hear something you like in a restaurant or a bar. You put it up and you find out. And then you can play.
TANTAROS: It's life-changing, that app.
BECKEL: Both of them, right?
TANTAROS: It is life-changing.
BOLLING: What's on your Pandora?
GUILFOYLE: OK. So when I drive my big, bad white Ford Explorer, I love to...
GUTFELD: You have a white Ford Explorer?
TANTAROS; She's O.J.
GUILFOYLE: And you can see me coming. You'll call me Danica Patrick.
TANTAROS: Jump out the room.
GUILFOYLE: Yes, get out of the road.
Ew, gross! This is the immaturity level of the show, OK?
I love the song "Fancy." "I-g-g-y" by Iggy Azalea. I think it's super fun. I know you like it. Listen.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(MUSIC: IGGY AZALEA, "FANCY")
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BECKEL: They all sound the same.
GUTFELD: I agree.
BOLLING: We played this already.
GUILFOYLE: In the intro, one of our songs of the summer. That's why.
GUILFOYLE: It was my choice.
BOLLING: All right. Bob, you're complaining a lot about the songs.
BECKEL: Well, this is awful. I couldn't name you one song that came out in 2014. I'm proud of it. The last movie I saw was "Seabiscuit." It was great.
And my favorite song of the summer was -- some of you out there will remember this -- this is really when music was great. Not these screaming over-drugged vacuous people who couldn't pass a third grade math test.
GUILFOYLE: Ay, ay, ay.
BECKEL: Hey, quiet. Here it is, folks. This is a classic.
TANTAROS: Oh, boy.
BECKEL: "Sealed with a Kiss." You don't have it?
GUILFOYLE: What are you throwing? Was that, like, disgusting?
BECKEL: Are you kidding me? You got those crappy songs and you don't have the best one?
BOLLING: Bob, Bob, Bob, you've got to tell them first before so they have it cued up.
BECKEL: I told them. I told them.
GUILFOYLE: And what was that stuff you were throwing?
BECKEL: It doesn't matter.
BOLLING: They want us to go so we have to go.
Still to come, a lot of people like to think they're forever young, but should there be an age limit on certain activities, like partying every night or getting belly rings or twerking? "The Five" debates how old is too old to dot, dot, dot. Next.
BECKEL: And like many things have an expiration date, like milk cartons, coupons and even us. So we want to ask the question how old is too old to do certain things?
Like, for instance, how old is too old to go clubbing? Or what about couch surfing? A friend's place instead of getting a hotel. And then there's selfies. How old is too old to take those? And my personal favorite, how old is too old to go to a conservative Miley Cyrus concert?
Eric, you go to all those things. You've done all those things, right? You're married.
BOLLING: Maybe certain times of my life I did all those. Not now.
So the thing is how old is too old? I don't know. Maybe not necessarily those, but I think beer funnels around 25 years old, you stop doing beer funnels.
BOLLING: Around 30, stop -- guys, stop wearing jerseys of the teams you love unless you're at the game. If you're at the game, it's OK. But when you're at -- I don't know -- out at the park or hanging out or out to dinner, definitely don't be wearing that.
And as far as talking about your conquests from years in the past, maybe 20 years ago you could have stopped doing that.
BECKEL: Mine are still good. Go ahead. Dana -- Andrea.
TANTAROS: OK. Too old to wear fluorescent nail polish.
BOLLING: Did you just say Dana?
BECKEL: No, I was thinking about Dana being straight. Go ahead.
TANTAROS: Fluorescent nail polish. I think the cutoff is 40, right?
BECKEL: For nail polish?
TANTAROS: For wearing bright-colored fluorescent nail polish.
You asked about clubbing.
TANTAROS: I think if you want to go clubbing, go clubbing, but I think you should cut it off at probably 60. Forever 21, don't shop there after you're 21.
BECKEL: Never heard of it.
TANTAROS: No woman is forever 21.
Getting a belly ring. I was just thinking about this.
BECKEL: Don't do it, man. Don't do it.
TANTAROS: No, no, I was wondering how old is too old.
BECKEL: Oh, how old is too old?
TANTAROS: Because Maria Menounos has one, and she looks great, and she's 35.
BECKEL: I don't know. I've seen them. I've seen them in anything from 21 to 58.
TANTAROS: Forty is...
GUILFOYLE: ... with one with the white bikini.
BECKEL: All right, Greg, what do you think is too old is too old?
GUTFELD: Well, in terms of clubbing, you should never do that. Those animals don't deserve to die. I don't understand. You people are monsters.
GUTFELD: Have you seen the videos?
GUTFELD: It's disgusting.
You know what? Imagine if time travel, a man from the 1960s arrives to see a city street of casually dressed modern men, how horrified he would be to see baggy shorts, you know, the faded T-shirts, the sandals, the wallet chain. Everyone dresses like German kids at fat camp.
TANTAROS: Yes, and have gone backwards. You guys have got to stop doing it after the age of 30.
GUTFELD: We've gotten so casual that we pretty much -- now we dress in these uniforms. We dress in uniforms.
BECKEL: What about you? You're forever young.
GUILFOYLE: I'm trying to understand this one. Couch surf instead of getting a hotel? I mean, that means like Kato Kaolin, like stay on someone's couch?
GUTFELD: Yes. "I'm going to go in San Francisco for the weekend. You mind if I crash at your place?"
You're supposed to say, "No, you're 30. Get a hotel."
GUILFOYLE: No, I say as long as you don't expect the hot tub after.
BECKEL: We've got to -- we've got to get out of here. First of all, I don't know what you said to me. I think it was probably something like "Don't blow this. We're always done with this segment." Right? "Don't say anything bad." OK, I won't.
I will say this. The one thing you're too old to do is please, please don't get tattoos. I'm going to start Bob Beckel's Tattoo Removal Parlor because all you people who got tattoos, particularly for women who put the names of their boyfriends in places is crazy. And they're all going to sink. And I'm going to wipe them all out and make millions of dollars. Don't get tattoos. It's ridiculous.
And look at the dudes that make -- make tattoos. God, they all look like a bunch of drunk...
TANTAROS: At what age do you put out a roommate? Don't you think people should stop having roommates after a certain age?
BECKEL: No. No, no, no.
BECKEL: No. Nothing wrong with that.
TANTAROS: I think 25.
GUILFOYLE: Yes. Like guys that then have roommates two, three. Please.
BECKEL: Well, I don't know. How many did you have last year?
GUILFOYLE: What are you talking about?
BECKEL: I thought you had a lot of roommates. "One More Thing" is up next. I've got to add that, right? Without swearing.
GUILFOYLE: Hi. Well, it's time now for "One More Thing." And there is a twist on this Labor Day as summer winds down. Each of us are going to share some of our favorite things we did this season, beginning with Eric.
BOLLING: A couple of very quick pictures. Bring up the first one. We put this huge massive flag up on the beach house. We absolutely love that thing. You can see it for miles. Everyone's talking about that. Love that.
But here's the greatest -- the best place on the planet out on the East Coast. The Black Whale at Long Beach island. Some great friends. And who's that back there?
TANTAROS: I wonder, who is that?
BOLLING: Back there.
TANTAROS: That's me.
BOLLING: We had some great times at the Black Whale, summer 2014.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, there you are. She's got her hat on. Got the hat on. Woo!
TANTAROS: That was a fun night.
GUTFELD: Oh, man. So many favorite summer moments. But I think the best one had to be the pool party at Lou Dobbs's house in the Hamptons. Hammer and Doocy were doing strip tequila shots with John Scott. It got really ugly, a little violent. Kilmeade ends up throwing up in the hot tub. They had to drain the thing. Stuart Varney punched Shep in the face for stealing his pitcher of sangria. But then the high point was when Hannity beat O'Reilly in Ping-Pong and they were using a Faberge egg as a ball.
That was unbelievable. The police came, closed the place down.
BOLLING: All dudes.
GUTFELD: All dudes. It was all dudes. We don't need ladies to have fun.
BOLLING: OK, gotcha.
GUILFOYLE: That was really interesting man party situation.
GUTFELD: It's called a marty. Male party.
GUILFOYLE: Male party.
TANTAROS: The illegal citizen.
GUTFELD: No, no, no. Are you kidding me?
BECKEL: Every one of them was -- oh, I can't.
GUILFOYLE: All right, we've got Andrea up next.
TANTAROS: OK. I couldn't pick a favorite moment. I had tons of favorite moments. So let's see some of the photos. I don't know, went to Bermuda in June. That was really fun. That's the view from New Jersey where I have a cute little beach place, not too far from the Bollings.
BECKEL: Who's this?
TANTAROS: That's a summer selfie.
GUILFOYLE: That's Andrea.
BECKEL: Oh, it is?
TANTAROS: Spent some time in the Hamptons, too. Had a lot of good fun. Definitely Long Beach Island, New Jersey. I'm on Bolling's porch there. His wife took that picture. She was in a different picture.
Anyway, it was a great summer. Awesome. There we are. That's with Sandy having some fun. Great summer. Freedom tour 2014, baby.
BECKEL: Yes. Go ahead.
GUILFOYLE: Freedom and it feels so good!
BECKEL: Did you do yours already?
GUILFOYLE: No, you're next.
BECKEL: I'm next? OK. Well, first of all, I didn't get to go to the beach because Andrea didn't invite me to her beach house. Eric didn't invite me to his. And you didn't invite me to your place out in the Hamptons. And Greg's the only one who doesn't have one, so I wasn't invited there. So thanks a lot. I wouldn't invite me either to a party.
BECKEL: I'm only kidding.
But what my most fun and the show because this really is my life, this show. It's the only thing I do. Well, it's not true. But the -- I went down during the World Cup soccer, which I find the most unbelievably boring sport. And I went down to a big soccer bar and went around, and here's some footage of some of these dudes and women I talked to. Do we have it?
GUILFOYLE: That's it.
BECKEL: Oh, there's no sound?
GUILFOYLE: No. It's...
BECKEL: Oh, I see. I don't get my song and I don't get my sound.
GUILFOYLE: Bob, we're running out of time.
BECKEL: I'm sorry.
GUILFOYLE: OK. Anyway, so we all had great summers. Right? And I love to spend time in the Hamptons with my little boy. He goes to camp. Hampton Country Day. There he is playing tennis in the backyard; raising him to be very sporty.
And there he is, getting on the bus in the morning and mom in her yoga pants but I don't go to yoga.
Anyway, lots of fun. Lots of good memories. And there you go, Gene Simmons and his tongue, most memorable TV moment of the 2014 summer. So far, so good.
I want to thank you for joining us on this Labor Day. We're going to see you right back here Tomorrow. "Special Report" is up next.
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