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The Five

IRS hearings expose more questions than answers

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," June 24, 2014. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Eric Bolling, along with Andrea Tantaros, Bob Beckel, Dana Perino and Greg Gutfeld.

It's 5 o'clock in New York City and this is "The Five."

(MUSIC)

BOLLING: Why did Lois Lerner's computer crash ten days after she was asked for her emails surrounding the IRS targeting of conservatives? Why did the contracted archive company Sonasoft stop archiving Lerner's emails the exact dates in question? And why does Lois Lerner continue to plead the Fifth?

IRS commissioner John Koskinen has answers but doesn't seem to think he owes any to the American people. Republicans like Darrell Issa are getting frustrated.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REP. DARRELL ISSA, R-CALIF.: I subpoenaed you here tonight because, frankly, I'm sick and tired of your game playing in response to congressional oversight. You testified under oath in March that you would produce all of Lois Lerner's emails subpoenaed by this committee. Commissioner, at a minimum, you did not tell the whole truth that you knew on that day. We have a problem with you, and you have a problem with maintaining your credibility.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: Trey Gowdy did a masterfully job dismantling the commission. She was a few seconds of a five-minute pounding.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REP. TREY GOWDY, R-S.C.: You have already said multiple times today that there was no evidence you found of any criminal wrongdoing. I want -- I want to you tell me what criminal statutes you've evaluated.

JOHN KOSKINEN, IRS COMMISSIONER: I've not looked at any.

GOWDY: Well, then, how can you tell our fellow citizens that there's no criminal wrongdoing if you don't even know what statutes to look at?

KOSKINEN: Because I've seen no evidence that anyone consciously --

GOWDY: How would you know what elements of the crime existed? You don't know what statutes are in play.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: Amazingly, Democrats didn't seem to care that the IRS, the most feared agency to regular folks, may be hiding a corruption that leads all the way to the White House. The Dems instead used their allotted time to apologize.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Therefore, I begin by a series of questions simply by offering you an apology. I deserve -- I believe you deserve one.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I don't think I have seen a display of this kind of disrespect in all the time I've been here in Congress, and it's unfortunate that anybody would have to be subjected to it.

REP. ELIJAH CUMMINGS, D-MD.: I appreciate you coming here, giving it the best you got. And then having to come in here and go through this hell.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Badgering this commissioner as virtually every member on the Republican side has done is shameful. And it's got to stop. As far as I'm telling you, one member here is going walk out and not return.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Oh, please?

BOLLING: Bob, why are Democrats OK with covering up a conspiracy that may lead all the way to the big house, the White House?

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: You ought to be careful making that comment about may lead to the White House. There's not a scintilla of evidence that that's a case. So, I would be a little careful about saying that.

Is there a cover up somewhere in the IRS? Obviously, in my mind there is. I mean, I think the most damning part of this is her taking the Fifth. From that point forward, there's seem to be a trigger of events whether she was responsible for it alone or whatever. But to suggest that somehow it's a White House cover up is --

BOLLING: Look, he said I don't know 20 times. I'm not sure. Trey Gowdy points out that he didn't look up the statutes. So --

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: So, I will say this. I agree what the Democrats said, I've never heard a committee of Congress be that rough on somebody.

BOLLING: Would you be wasting your time apologizing for this guy?

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: OK. You got to ask, why are they kissing up to the guy? Because he's a donor. They're not going to go after him. It's like a hooker going after your pimp.

I haven't seen this kind of cover-up since Robin Williams played "Mrs. Doubtfire." And it shows.

BECKEL: Did you work on that all day?

GUTFELD: No, I'm going to work on you all day.

BECKEL: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

GUTFELD: What does it take for the mainstream media to take -- to care? Does the IRS have to execute Tea Partiers for them to notice? Or would "The New York Times" say, oh, I hope those bullets are recyclable?

This shows, the IRS scandal, with the V.A. stuff, with the POW, it shows that every part of the Obama apple is bad. Used to be able to eat around the worm. Now, it's all worm and no apple.

BOLLING: Dana, do you pointed out -- well, maybe didn't point -- maybe I heard the guy, that smile, that arrogance, that contemptuous smile he had going on there.

PERINO: Right. So, Koskinen sits there like butter would not melt. OK? And that I think also is the other thing that is really irritating people. Not just the guys on the committee but people watching at home thinking how can he sit there.

And the thing is, I think Greg points out something. He's a big time political donor. He was doing his public service. But by public, he doesn't mean working for all of us. He means working for the Democrats.

And that's what I think is amazing that for the -- think of the position that President Obama's administration has put the Democrats in. In an election year where they have a tough situation with their own turn out anyway. The Democrats are now in a position of bending over backwards to defend the IRS. That is quite astounding.

But they are -- got to hand it to their loyalty, they are walking in lock step to try and protect the IRS from what I think everybody, including even the media talking this morning, all the talking heads like, we know, obviously, there is a stinking fish. And where does that lead? I mean, I would -- if I were the Democrats, I'd be blaming the Obama White House for putting themselves in this position.

BECKEL: Can you name one political appointee who never gave money? One? I mean, go back to your own --

PERINO: I'm sure there's probably many.

BECKEL: I bet there are not.

PERINO: I bet there are.

How about -- I'll be one. I never donated anything. How about that?

BECKEL: But you're not confirmed.

GUTFELD: Just so selfish.

PERINO: I did get confirmed by the Obama administration.

BOLLING: Let's not derail this. Let's stay on this particular scandal.

BECKEL: Well, you're the one who raised the thing about the money --

BOLLING: Ands, arrogant, contemptuous or strategic -- if you control the facts and information, kind of control the debate and the people.

ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: That's right. So, when we talk about the NSA spying on average Americans and the administration says, well, we're doing it for national security purposes, that is why that's the second biggest scandal because in a normal administration, the IRS would just be functioning the way it's supposed to function.

So, we're supposed to believe that the Obama administration that is using the IRS to target conservative groups that is also collecting data on every single American is not going to use that type of information for political reasons? You would be completely foolish and naive. And if this were a Republican president, we would be on the road to impeachment.

I mean, think about Rose Mary Woods, President Nixon's secretary. Everybody knew who Rose Mary Woods was the woman who supposedly accidentally, there she is doing the Rose Mary reach, trying to demonstrate to the media how she was just happenstance deleting that tape that everyone was obsessed within the country. I mean, she was the fall girl for a president of the United States. And the media was obsessed with it. Everybody in the United States of America knew who this woman was.

Now, you have the death of legitimate journalism by the press saying we're not going to report on this. And you know what? They're just as bad, because the IRS targets people financially. The media targets people with their pens or their computers. They do the same thing. That's why they think this is OK.

BECKEL: Let me ask you a question with all due respect you got to be unbelievable naive to believe IRS and other administration didn't target people. I mean, it -- not at this level, maybe.

BOLLING: Bob admitted as much that they targeted -- they're not allowed to do that. They can't --

BECKEL: I understand they're not allowed to do it. But to suggest that the IRS is purely an institution that doesn't target. I don't know about you. Why do I get audited during Republican administration?

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: They targeted conservatives before a reelection campaign. Hello?

GUTFELD: When I was a child, my mother said, just because other people are doing it doesn't make it right.

BECKEL: Well, that's fine. I understand that.

GUTFELD: So, this is wrong. It's wrong.

PERINO: Also, the destruction of evidence is an obstruction of justice, which then takes it to the next level. And so, the political appointee that acts like he doesn't have to answer any questions to the Republican congressman, you have Democrats that are -- I just think this is a path that will backfire on the Democrats.

BOLLING: Can we move on to this one right here? See this "New York Times" front cover? You don't see any mention of this. No mention of the IRS scandal. You need to go 19 pages in to find the story. But even liberal talking head Mark Halperin, along with "The National Journal" editorial director Ron Fournier want answers.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MARK HALPERIN, BLOOMBERG POLITICS MANAGING EDITOR: I think with a different administration, one that was a Republican administration, this story would be a national obsession and instead it's getting coverage here and a few other places.

RON FOURNIER, NATIONAL JOURNAL: A year ago exactly tomorrow, I called for a special prosecutor in this case while giving the president the benefit of the doubt. I now realize how naive I was to give the administration the benefit of the doubt. This needs to be investigated by an independent prosecutor.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: All right. Ands, you want to take this one?

TANTAROS: Special prosecutor, Ron Fournier, is absolutely right. And also, you heard Trey Gowdy in that exchange that you played earlier, Eric, talk about how the commissioner doesn't realize the crimes that have been committed. He doesn't even know the statutes, which I don't believe. I'm sure that he knows.

He was supposed to report if there's a loss of data to the U.S. Archives. Last night, U.S. archivist David Ferriero stood under oath and said they committed a crime.

BOLLING: By law, yes.

TANTAROS: They absolutely committed a crime. So they do need a special prosecutor to investigate.

"The New York Times" also yesterday, the lead story, the big story on a Monday driving the news cycle, the headline was, rotting lettuce, basically. I mean, that's not what it said, but it was about how there's compost issues and kids aren't eating their lettuce and what are they going to do about it?

It is the death of legitimate journalism and it is telling people in power that, you know what? You can get away with this kind of stuff -- and the media is letting them do it.

BECKEL: Let me make sure I understand what you all saying. There were a group of people at the IRS or maybe the White House who sat down together and said, OK, let's destroy her emails, let's make sure the company that provides the e-mail coverage is brought into the conspiracy as well and let's make sure that everybody up and down the line at the IRS is in the conspiracy. You really believe that?

GUTFELD: Yes, I do. There are red flags everywhere.

When she set up the question when after she was asked about the emails, they suddenly went away. What a coincidence this is.

But just so -- we have to give up on the media about when it comes to scandal. They abdicated their spines. But the ultimate consequence is you're watching the administration fall apart like a chair under Kirstie Alley's butt because they're immuno-deficient. They have no protection. Their arrogance has grown so wildly, they aren't even aware that they're being corrupt. And that's why it's falling apart.

And now, you're seeing guys that were making fun of FOX News for looking at this scandal. They're always laughing at us who are now, wow, there's really something stinky here.

BOLLING: There's there.

GUTFELD: There's something there.

BOLLING: Yes.

Hey, Dana, the brain room did a little research for us, the IRS scandal turns out broadcast news three minutes and 14 seconds of it in their first week. On bridgegate, Chris Christie did 112 minutes and 23 seconds.

PERINO: Isn't that incredible?

BOLLING: And it goes on and on and on. That's just broadcasting, as we point out.

Today, the day that there's growing last night on the Hill, 19 pages before you see it in "The New York Times."

PERINO: And the interesting was, it wasn't that the testimony wasn't dramatic or that the hearing wasn't dramatic, it happens in the evening. It would be a little bit, you would think that it could actually find its way into the front page.

But I also think that people are getting their news in lots of different ways. That's the other thing I think the reason that the Democrats will find this backfires on them because people are not -- the trust of Congress is lower than just the next one up. The next lowest is the media. So, I think that -- as Greg said, Republicans count on them.

BOLLING: Bob, can I ask you something?

BECKEL: I want to ask you this. This is your "Wall Street Journal", the most conservative newspaper I would guess in a good way.

BOLLING: I wouldn't call it that.

BECKEL: It says U.S. seeks data and inquiry to Dean Foods, Clorox. I can't find it in the front page story in "The Wall Street Journal."

BOLLING: All right. Hey, Bob, let me ask you. You say that it's really harebrained to think that there's a conspiracy but do you know what the odds are on June 3rd, 2011, Lois Lerner got the letter saying show us the emails, 10 days later, her computer crashes. The hard drive goes away. The backup archive company says we lost that period of time.

I mean, what's far more unlikely is what they expect us to believe.

BECKEL: I think the conspiracy was that -- my own guess is Lois Lerner and one other person, maybe two, decided to destroy her emails.

BOLLING: For what? What's in them?

PERINO: But they were lying from the beginning. Somebody also was lying from the beginning. Remember they said that the whole situation was started by two rogue agents in Cincinnati. That is not true. That lie had to start that somewhere.

BOLLING: Jay Carney started that.

PERINO: Well, or he got it from somewhere. I mean --

(CROSSTALK)

TANTAROS: How many times have they visited the White House? And that's why if Republicans were smart they would, especially in the House of Representatives, they would pass bills to strip the IRS of its enforcement authority on Obamacare and have Democrats put a vote up as you pointed out earlier to defend the IRS in an election year. Have them defend a vote saying, no, no, the IRS should be able to enforce --

PERINO: Make them swallow the worm.

TANTAROS: -- the Obamacare mandate.

BECKEL: Outside of the right-wing, who do you think really cares about this?

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: That's a good question. That's a really question. America should, because the IRS is being used as a coercive force. And the media doesn't care. So, it's up to the citizens to act on this.

BOLLING: And the Democrats on the Hill apologized or made a joke of the hearing. That -- there is the problem.

BECKEL: Why is that a problem?

BOLLING: Because the American people --

BECKEL: That's their job.

BOLLING: -- deserve more than them apologizing.

PERINO: That's not their job.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: The job is to bend over for a donor. That's what they did.

TANTAROS: His polls started to dip when this scandal originally broke last spring. If you look at the start of his nose dive, President Obama, it was this scandal that started it because every person fears the IRS in this country.

BECKEL: I agree that there's a scandal here. I just don't agree this is widespread as you're suggesting.

BOLLING: Well, we'll never -- we won't know --

GUTFELD: You said that about the (INAUDIBLE)

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: Coming up, stunning new claims of the abuse and the V.A. scandal, another scandal, including disturbing reports of veterans neglect, the department's mismanagement and death cover-ups. All the breaking details next on "The Five."

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: Many people may not know this but the motto of the Department of Veterans Affairs is a quote from President Abraham Lincoln, "To care for him who shall borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan."

So, how has the Obama administration fulfilled this promise? Well, according to a new whistleblower from the Phoenix V.A, in a shameful fashion.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DREW GRIFFIN, CNN: Somebody is going on that electronic wait list and where people are identified as being dead, somebody is changing that and saying, "No, they're not dead."

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Correct.

GRIFFIN: To hide the fact people died on that list?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: That's my belief.

GRIFFIN: What would be the other -- any other purpose?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: There wouldn't be any other purpose.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: The whistleblower also described the horrifying experience of finding out that the V.A. was too late to offer help to one veteran's family.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GRIFFIN: Then came the call she had to make in early December. She finally had found an appointment available for a Navy veteran who had come to the V.A. months earlier urinating blood.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: So, I called the family and that's when I found out that he was dead.

GRIFFIN: They called you and said --

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I said, "What is this regarding?" She goes, "We have a primary for him." I said, "Really, you're a little too late."

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: Andrea, one of the things that happens with these scandals is that whistle blowers who might have been too afraid to speak out before start feeling a little bit more emboldened and they want to tell what they learned.

We've always maintained that there might be more. Do you think there is still yet more to come after this?

TANTAROS: Yes, I do. I think this is the scandal that's going to continue on and on and on, because it seems a lot worse than we originally thought. We originally thought it was isolated to the Phoenix, the Arizona V.A. And now, it's much greater. So, I do think you're going to see people start to say, well, wait a minute, this happened to a family member of mine.

And, Dana, I know I made the comparison before but they operate the V.A. like a single payer system, very similar to the British system. If you just look at this week's headlines in England, Dana, they are the same as you have been hearing from the whistleblowers and these families coming out.

So, just two days ago, a man died in England, he was an epileptic. He was waiting to get the proper shower installed in his bathroom. So, he had a drowning death.

Also, you had a man with a hernia the size of a football. He was accidently wiped from a surgery waiting list in England. Now, he's been told there's nothing that he can do.

I have three more of this type of headlines. It's the same thing. It's why that single-payer argument that, Bob, I you know love it, but can we just give it a rest? Can we finally have the progressives admit that that is not the ideal situation that government doesn't do health care very well and health care has gotten worse under President Obama from Obamacare to this?

PERINO: One of the solutions on the table is offering the veterans vouchers so that they can go to private hospitals.

TANTAROS: Very start.

PERINO: It could be a market oriented approach.

And there's a big report out from Senator Tom Coburn, claiming more than 1,000 veterans may have died from 2001 to 2011 as a result of misconduct and mismanagement at the V.A.

The senator addressed his new findings just moments ago on FOX.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

SEN. TOM COBURN, R-OKLA.: Anything from harassing patients to overutilization of police, to stealing veterans things, to rape, to accosting patients to ignoring patients, all criminal activity.

Poor management is the problem. It's not money. It's not access to available facilities. It's lack of management.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: Eric, Tom Coburn leading the charge to find out more what is going on in the V.A., started well before the scandal actually erupted, absolute financial malfeasance. The American people not getting what they paid for. So, what's the recourse?

BOLLING: One of the recourses, you get rid of Eric Shinseki, which is what happened, and replacing someone who can do the job. Here's the deal and these are their numbers -- 80 percent of the Phoenix V.A. management were given performance bonuses. One hundred percent of senior management in the V.A. system, system-wide, received a positive job --

PERINO: Review?

BOLLING: Review, right, exactly. Ten million dollars to Phoenix in bonuses, $400 million system-wide for performance bonuses. You've got to stop that.

Obviously, this whistleblower says she was told to take a picture of people who were on a waiting list and put it in the desk because it wasn't going to get on the waiting list. They were going to get to it later and she said she had literally thousands of pieces of paper in the desk.

It's a failure of management. Coburn is right. There's plenty of money there. They just need the right people in place and do a sweeping change. Just get rid of a bunch of people.

PERINO: Let me ask, Greg, to that point, get rid of a bunch of people that would include the bureaucrats. How does it happen that a culture develops in an organization where they think it's OK to cheat and lie and on the backs of our veterans.

GUTFELD: If you've ever read a Russian novel, you know that you can't spell bureaucrat without a rat. This is a bureaucratic sin. It's not a military one.

All these sins are out of greedy desires. The deaths are hidden because people want their jobs and their bonuses. It is like a -- it's a horrible Russian novel, a misery garden that's alive to feed bloated bureaucrats.

And remember, the V.A. was just another thing that Obama was going to fix. But he's like the opposite of a handyman. Everything he touches turns to liberalism.

BOLLING: Nice.

Before I get to Bob, can I just add one more thing in here? The reason -- one of the reasons why the culture is as you point out? Unions. Eighty-three or 85 percent of the V.A. is unionized.

TANTAROS: You don't think, Dana, you see the president being as vocal about this is because it would undermine his signature achievement, which is government-run health care.

PERINO: I think the other thing, Bob, is that they've been able to say that there's an investigation. So, when there's an investigation, they can say we can't comment on it any more. But you maintained from the beginning, this is what you thought was the worst scandal of the Obama administration.

BECKEL: I think was worst political scandal.

PERINO: Do you think that there's anything that -- can you see any activity that they are doing to try to get in front of it?

BECKEL: Not as much as they should be.

But let me make a couple of points here. There are millions and millions and millions of visits by servicemen to the V.A. every year. It's not hard to pick out these horror stories, one. Two, they said -- Coburn said 1,000 people died in 10 years. Seven years under the Bush administration, three under the Obama administration.

I don't believe for a second that the Obama administration or Bush administration wanted to see people died. It means that somewhere down the line, I think, Eric, you shouldn't be giving performance bonuses for anything having to do with medical care.

But this is not an Obama issue per se. It is -- it wasn't a Bush administration per se. It goes back to the time it was started. So --

GUTFELD: It's a government. It's a bureaucratic issue, is what I said. As government expands, this is what happens.

TANTAROS: Yes, you're right, Bob, both parties have thrown money at the problem.

BECKEL: And the union thing, the union thing is about as ridiculous a comment --

BOLLING: You know how hard it is to fire a union worker, especially a federal union employee.

BECKEL: They are down to 8 percent of the workforce. I don't think it's that hard to fire them.

BOLLING: I'm telling you, somewhere around 80 percent of the V.A. is unionized. I mean, that's the culture.

BECKEL: Let me give you a thinking here, the reason this is happening and people are dying is not because of unions.

BOLLING: Yes, that's a false --

TANTAROS: There's no incentive. There's no competition.

BOLLING: Right. There's no incentive to do better. To -- if you're failing at your job, you get rid of them.

TANTAROS: There was an incentive to do better if you covered up the number of people that were deceased or that there was a waiting list or the corruption. Then, you got the money.

PERINO: And you got the performance review that got you the bonus, as well.

OK. When we come back the Minnesota legislature recently passed a law outlawing the name "Asian carp" because some say it's offensive. Greg is going to break down the carp controversy.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: So a few months back we were told that Asian carp were destroying the ecosystem of the Great Lakes, gobbling up plankton like a Michael Moore with gills.

But according to one dopey Democrat, it's the fish's name that's really awful. They're called Asian carp. Look at that.

In April Minnesota state Senate approved an amendment changing it to something that doesn't cast Asian cultures in a negative light. The bill's sponsor, a time waster named John Hoffman, moronically explained that words hurt.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOHN HOFFMAN, SPONSORED MINNESOTA STATE SENATE AMENDMENT ABOUT ASIAN CARP: Our state and our nation has learned that words, nicknames matter, often at great expense in hurt feelings, inappropriateness and money. I propose to Madam President and members that we -- we not allow the official use of Asian carp, a terminology hurtful to valued members of our communities that as the official language of state government to describe basic carp.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: John, they're called "Asian carp" because they're from Asia.

I'd call Hoffman an ass, but I know that words hurt, and I don't want donkeys to picket FNC.

As Mediaite reports, the bill was signed in May, and now the fish is officially known as "invasive carp," making them from Invasia.

So John, why stop with Asian carp? What about German measles? French kissing? Mexican jumping beans? That's the point: We're all from somewhere. So can we now lose all ethnic prefixes? No more Italian- American, African-American, Native-American and just be American? I doubt that.

If the fish are bad why not just call them American? After all we really are the bad guys, responsible for all wars, global warming and, of course, Katy Perry.

Why not be really honest, however? These fish are feckless things, devouring all in its path without considering the consequence. Just call them Democrats.

I did that for you, Bob. It's a cheap shot. Bob, even you've got to agree this guy should be laughed out of town.

BECKEL: It's -- I mean, I am the fish, and these things are dangerous as hell. They got over here, because they're brought over in fishing trawlers.

GUTFELD: Right.

BECKEL: They're bringing live fish from China to be processed here. These things are really dangerous. They are from Asia. You're right. I mean, you want to rename the black plague the purple plague? I mean, I don't -- I can't -- I wouldn't have the guts to stand up in the senate and say that. I mean, that's the thing that's more important. If you're a politician you're going to stand up there and defend the Asian carp? I mean, I don't get it.

GUTFELD: Eric, isn't it kind of cool to be named after something dangerous?

BOLLING: Great, all I can say black coward (ph) hello, yellow tail hello, black race and what about white race? What about white race?

By the way, his name is John Hoffman. Right?

GUTFELD: Yes.

BOLLING: So his next thing that we need, stop calling toilets johns.

GUTFELD: Good point.

BECKEL: That's good.

GUTFELD: Andrea, we're doomed as a country. This is -- this is our obsession. Changing language.

TANTAROS: When I saw it was Minnesota, I thought let's see what's on the cover of the Star Tribune to see what other pressing issues are happening that this man isn't really concerned with? Floods. They are experiencing massive floods.

President Obama, I understand, is going there, I guess to blame the floods on global warming. So their priorities seem to be pretty out of whack, the Democrats in Minnesota.

But I thought about this. What would be an accurate comparison, Greg? What about Greek cheese? And then rename it to something more offensive like stinky cheese, like they did with invasive carp. I think we should...

PERINO: ... Bob.

TANTAROS: ... Bob. Why don't we just name it after the Irish, like the fighting Irish carp because Irish people love when you name stuff after them.

GUTFELD: That's right. They're called the fighting Irish. Their little mascot is a guy who wants to beat you up.

TANTAROS: Irish coffee, Irish car bombs. The Irish don't care. They love nicknames.

BECKEL: Listen, before Danny gets here, we'd better be careful. These things are a serious matter. The fact that this guy is making it almost an unserious matter, these things are destroying the fish system in the Great Lakes. And they're not...

BOLLING: You're not suggesting how to fix this.

BECKEL: That's what I mean. If they come up with some new poison for Asian carp.

BOLLING: I have an idea.

GUTFELD: What?

BOLLING: Call it the redskin carp.

GUTFELD: There you go. There you go.

Dana, what Eric is saying in right. We are seeing a war on language. It's a symbolic gesture that actually isn't constructive at all. It doesn't help anybody.

PERINO: But it's all relative.

GUTFELD: Right.

PERINO: OK? So you think of the Chilean sea bass.

GUTFELD: Right.

PERINO: OK, the Chileans love it, because they're like "Look at us. We are called something that wasn't necessarily from Chile, the Chilean Sea Bass."

BECKEL: Most of it's not (ph).

PERINO: Right. It's not. So what we really need to do is find out if Asian carp is delicious.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: And if so we can always turn the whole thing around.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: And feed the world.

GUTFELD: I eat Chinese food all the time, but it's made, like, on 9th Avenue.

BECKEL: And they wouldn't eat it. The Chinese wouldn't eat it.

It's just another way for the Chinese to invade this country. I'm telling you: dangerous single country that we have to face in this world.

GUTFELD: Ah, jeez.

BECKEL: And now they sent their fish over here to screw up our fishing system.

GUTFELD: That's kind of a conspiracy.

BECKEL: It is. That is a conspiracy.

PERINO: Next thing you know they're going to lose our emails.

GUTFELD: All right. Fish don't have emails. They don't have little fingers. How are they going to type emails? That's silly.

Directly ahead, the "Blurred Lines" singer makes a desperate plea to win back his estranged wife after their highly-publicized split. But will Robin Thicke's new music video be enough for him ex, Paula Patton, to forgive and forget? We'll show you next on "The Five."

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

TANTAROS: Robin Thicke showed the world what a lady's man he is with that "Blurred Lines" video. So many western surprised when he and his estranged wife, Paula Patton, split earlier this year amid allegations of the singer cheating.

Now Thicke's on a desperate mission to win back his ex-wife with an entire album dedicated to her, including the song "Get Her Back." Here's a clip.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(MUSIC: ROBIN THICKE'S "GET HER BACK")

(END VIDEO CLIP)

TANTAROS: OK. So Dana, if your husband did something wrong, not on the level of Robin Thicke but let's say comparable, would you take him back if he penned an entire album with songs like "Love Can Grow Back," "Still Madly Crazy" and "You're My Fantasy"?

PERINO: If Peter could make a music video like that, I might have to tell him to knock himself out. I mean, that would be amazing.

First, here's what I think about Robin Thicke. First, I love "Blurred Lines" as a song. I love it. I think the song he's just written is really average. Mediocrity abounds. And he should just man up. I think that this makes him look like not a lady's man; I think it makes him look pathetic. And so you can't win back somebody by looking pathetic.

BECKEL: Can you win somebody back? You're trying to get your old lady back, you're going to get some broad jumping all over you with her hands all over you naked? I mean, what is that?

PERINO: It might work for you, Bob.

BECKEL: Do we have the picture of him with the woman he was cheating with?

TANTAROS: A lot of people haven't seen this picture. But this is what got him in some trouble.

BECKEL: Pay close attention.

TANTAROS: We had to blur it out, speaking of blurred lines, because he was pointing but accidentally his finger slipped and ended up in that blonde's skirt.

So what do you think, Eric? Do you think it's going to work for him? A lot of people think he's trying to make money off of this cheating incident.

BOLLING: Well, I think so, too. He's going for that oh, look how nice. What a nice guy.

But here's -- let's flip the script here a little bit. So Adrian was in that picture, and some guy had his hand where Robin Thicke had...

TANTAROS: The sun don't shine.

BOLLING: Right. And I'm not sure that it would break up my marriage. I mean, I would have to have words with the guy. But I'm pretty sure when...

BECKEL: Are you kidding me?

TANTAROS: Let's just say that was the tip of the iceberg. There were other reports of him cheating and embarrassing her, and he actually fights it in this song, where he says -- she says, "I kept trying to warn you, you're pushing me too far, I don't even want to make love to you," that type of thing.

Bob, you've messed up a lot of times in relationships.

BECKEL: Yes.

TANTAROS: Is this going to work? Should she take him back?

BECKEL: Listen, my advice to any guy that's cheating is as simple as this: Don't ever admit it, because if you do, they've got it in the bank for the rest of your life. I used to say to guys, "If your wife walks in and you're in bed with somebody, say her eyes are bad." I mean, it's -- just never admit it, let alone write a song about it; let alone write a song about it with some slinky broad hanging all over you when you do it.

TANTAROS: Greg, I know you're more obsessed with Alan Thicke, Robin's father from...

GUTFELD: Who wouldn't be?

TANTAROS: ... was it "Growing Pains"?

GUTFELD: Yes. He wrote the songs.

TANTAROS: "Growing Pains"?

GUTFELD: Yes.

Well, here's -- the big thing about this video is what you were watching were actual texts from his wife, back and forth. He was texting his wife. And that's the thing that most kind of -- the strangest thing about it is he put the texts up here.

But if you watch the video to the end, you find out that it's not about his wife at all. When you look at the video text, all the way to the end, you find out it's about a different woman completely.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GRAPHIC: "Sorry I said I hated your dog. It's just that all you do is talk about your dog. It's not like he's George W. Bush. He's a dog. Jasper this, Jasper that. It's kind of hard sometimes. I promise I won't feed him chocolate ever again."

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: He's apologizing for hating Jasper.

PERINO: Well, I'm glad to see you can dub very well.

GUTFELD: Thank you.

TANTAROS: I think he can probably get Jasper back with a peanut- butter-covered dog bone.

PERINO: I would never give Jasper up.

TANTAROS: That's true.

Up next President Obama takes a dig at the United States, saying we should be more like France, and Bob agrees. Find out why moments away.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECKEL: Sorry. OK. I'm proud to be an American, but when it comes to issues like workplace benefits, including balancing family and jobs demands, and getting paid for time off for the birth of a child, some countries, even France, beat us. But don't just take my word for it. Here's President Obama.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: There's only one developed country in the world that does not offer paid maternity leave, and that is us. And that is not the list you want to be on by your lonesome. It's time to change that, because all Americans should be able to afford to care for the family.

Other countries know how to do this. If France can figure this out we can figure it out.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECKEL: The French can't figure much out, and I'm sorry we used that as an example for those of you who share my disdain for the French. But even their women are ugly. Don't but into it. But they are.

BOLLING: That is so untrue.

BECKEL: It is true. But anyway here's the point.

GUTFELD: How about Brigitte Bardot?

BECKEL: Brigitte Bardot, she -- Have you seen her now?

The -- Obama is exactly right. We're the only developed country that does not pay women when they have -- when they're pregnant and have babies. That is a shameful -- it's like a third-world country we're living in.

GUTFELD: No, it's not a third world. It's a first-world country. Why are we adopting the customs of the runner-ups and the losers? Obama is just mad at the Cold War his side lost.

BECKEL: No. The Germans are not what I would call losers. Would you?

GUTFELD: No, I'm saying -- no, they were runner-ups. The Germans lost World War 2, I think it's fair to say.

BECKEL: And the first one, too, but that's not the point. And they gave us Hitler. But the -- there are a lot of developed countries that do this, and it seems to me it just makes sense. I mean, why not pay people?

PERINO: Some companies are deciding to do. And the market is figuring it out, actually. There are a lot of developed companies that do this, and it seems to me this just makes sense. I mean, why not pay people?

PERINO: But some companies are deciding to, and the market it figuring that out, actually. It doesn't have to be mandated. There are companies in America that are starting to say that that will be one of the perks of the job, so it becomes a competitive issue. To get good talent. To get good talent.

BECKEL: I suppose you have faith that they're all going to do it, Eric?

BOLLING: Here's what happens. President Obama yesterday decided to say we should be more like France in this respect.

France yesterday just told us that it's likely it's going to be in a full-blown recession as of next week. Unemployment rate is 10.4 percent in France. The GDP per capita in France is $35,000 a year. In the United States, it's $53,000 a year. They have the Socialist Party running the place, who declared into law 75 percent top tax rate.

The problem is President Obama has no idea what a free market capitalist system is. He knows how to redistribute wealth, not to create it. Obamanomics is an oxymoron.

BECKEL: That's -- OK. Don't you think this makes sense?

TANTAROS: No.

BECKEL: You don't? In Greece they do it.

TANTAROS: Look where Greece is right now. That's not the right example to say. And I've lived in Paris. Most people think the French know what they're doing, because they spend time at Le Bastille (ph) or by the Eiffel Tower.

BECKEL: They know what to do with certain things.

TANTAROS: When you have even the "New York Times" writing about the mass exodus of wealth leaving France that it risks sliding into economic sclerosis. That's from "The New York Times." You know you have a problem. I mean, in that country everyone is equally miserable. It's fun if you're there on vacation, but when you look at the neighborhoods, the bonyeur (ph) that surround Paris, it's a very dismal situation.

BECKEL: The bonyeur (ph)? The bonyeur (ph)? I don't know what a bonyeur (ph) is, but I could guess.

The...

TANTAROS: It means "neighborhood."

BECKEL: By the way, all these countries were fleeing, all these socialist countries. Where are they all going? Does anybody know?

TANTAROS: They're going to England. That was one of the stories in "The Financial Times."

BECKEL: That's -- they tax a whole lot, too. So where do they go?

TANTAROS: Not almost 75 percent.

GUTFELD: That's a club downtown. A high cover.

BECKEL: OK. Well -- and once again, let me just say, wish we hadn't used the word "France." We could have used "Germany." But "One More Thing is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BOLLING: All right. Back for "One More Thing," starting over on screen left -- Andrea.

TANTAROS: OK. So this just proves how stupid liberals in academia are.

The Koch brothers, who are Republicans that liberals should be able to love, are trying to donate $10 million to Brooklyn College, which is part of the College of New York, CUNY, and they said no. They would rather turn down $10 million in donations than have money from the Koch brothers.

PERINO: Wow.

TANTAROS: This is also a state-funded school. New York state not doing very well with its balance sheets that instead of just taking the donation to do good work, they would rather have them keep their money.

BOLLING: Wow.

TANTAROS: How stupid.

BECKEL: Don't take that -- don't take that money, on your last breath.

TANTAROS: All those kids -- all those kids that could get scholarships. It's shameful.

BOLLING: Well, your buddy Lawrence O'Donnell would disagree with that. Go ahead, Bob. You're up.

BECKEL: Elvis Presley, who is my hero he had that, remember that big jump suit he had near the end when he weighed 350 pounds? See that one right there. That has sweat stains on it. It's go all kinds of stains on it. It's up for auction, and it's going to go for at least $200,000. And I wish I had the money to buy it. Eric, you do, so why don't you buy it for me?

PERINO: That would be a nice thing to do, yes.

BOLLING: Two hundred grand?

PERINO: Sure.

BOLLING: OK. Can we move on? All right, let's.

Chris Christie and I both played high school baseball. I went on to play pro baseball. Chris Christie went on into politics. Probably two good choices. Here's Chris Christie yesterday at Yankee Stadium, with Boomer Esiason, at a charity event, charity softball game at Yankee Stadium yesterday. Check it out. But you've got to say listen, the guy is getting around pretty darn good.

PERINO: Yes, he looks good.

BOLLING: Darn good. Good job, Chris Christie.

All right. D., you're up.

PERINO: So, you know the government really wants you to be healthy, and you hear this all the time. They want you to exercise more and eat right and everything. But in D.C. last night in all of its wisdom, just when you think it couldn't get worse for the government, they passed a yoga tax.

This is a tax on wellness in D.C. to fund the city government. It's a new 6 percent sales tax on any personal trainer or exercise class that you want to go to. And you know that old adage: the more you tax something, the less you get of it. It seems very short-sighted to me. But then again...

BECKEL: Speaking of, where's my yoga package?

PERINO: Friday.

BECKEL: On Friday?

TANTAROS: Didn't news just break it was the fittest city, as well, D.C.? Someone saw that it was the fittest city...

PERINO: Might as well tax it?

TANTAROS: Exactly.

BOLLING: They're taxing wellness?

PERINO: Yes.

BOLLING: That's insanity. All right. Greg, you're up, brother.

GUTFELD: Well, you know, robots, they're coming for us, i.e. news anchors. Well, not really news anchors. I'm just a gorgeous man.

But in Japan, they're creating the world's first news-reading android. They're lifelike, and they will do the news for you. So all I have to say is watch out, Bill Hemmer, your days are numbered. However, I will still hire you. Or maybe you can do some catalog work as an underwear model.

BOLLING: I thought you were going to go with the whole CNN primetime lineup.

BECKEL: Do those things walk?

GUTFELD: Bob, there are things that you will probably find interesting things about them in about a couple of years.

BECKEL: OK. So they're working on it?

GUTFELD: They're working on it, Bob.

BECKEL: That's all I've got -- got to say.

PERINO: You want them to deliver food to you?

BECKEL: That was what I had in mind. That's right.

BOLLING: Want to do a score update?

TANTAROS: Sure. Greece beat Ivory Coast 2-1.

PERINO: I'm sorry, friend. I care about Team USA.

BECKEL: That's the first thing that Greece has won in 15 years.

TANTAROS: That's true.

BECKEL: They should be happy with it.

BOLLING: We're going to leave it right there. Don't forget set your DVR so you never, ever miss an episode of "The Five." We'll see you back here tomorrow.

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