This is a rush transcript from "The Five," May 21, 2014. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Hi, I'm William Devane, along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Bob Beckel, Eric Bolling, and Andrea Tantaros.
This is "The Five."
GUTFELD: The White House seems caught off guard by the VA scandal. But they seem caught off guard by the sun. I haven't seen an entity more constantly surprised by its own ineptitude since Brick Tamland.
How did this happen? Well, this is what you get when for president you elect a Navy captain, a war hero held captive for five years. Oh, wait, we didn't. Well, then, you get what you pay for and everything comes with a price.
And what do we get for turning an election into self-expression theater? The selfie administration, one that puts whiners before warriors, Flukes over forces.
Commencement speakers say "get involved," but they really mean self-involved and that means serving you, not your country. Using fake concern, selfishness is the new selflessness and real sacrifice is viewed as sucker's work.
This perversion of priority is helped by an absent media, once the watchdog, now the lapdog. They give Obama a pass on all things because he's like them. He's their selfie.
This leads to a White House that shuns responsibility as it clumsily bumps into real world chaos as if it just learned to walk. It's no wonder vets feel like toys in the attic, a country no longer needs. They serve us and then expect help from those whose ideology mocks them?
Please, you have been to Iraq, Afghanistan, Kuwait, Korea, Germany, but you really need to get out more. Build a solar-powered windmill then we'll talk.
So, K.G., we have had the ATF, the IRS, the DOJ, the NSA, and now, the V.A., we're running out of letters to make up for the scandals.
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: If only we could develop a new alphabet --
GUILFOYLE: -- to add some more scandals to the roster because that's the only thing this administration seems to do really, really well, is one scandal after the next, call for an investigation, then sit on the documents, then you have to get an outside nonprofit agency to submit a FOIA request only to get thousands and thousands of pages of redacted and blacked out.
So, the most, quote, "transparent" administration has turned up out to be one that, in fact, is the cement block administration.
GUTFELD: Bob, they're going to be looking at 26 facilities. So, this isn't going to go away, is it?
BECKEL: No. It's not going to go away. By the way, you said that the press was -- I mean, look at the front page of every newspaper. It's all about --
GUTFELD: For how long?
BECKEL: Well, how long before the Phoenix did it? Nobody else have gotten in touch of it. The Republicans didn't say anything about it.
The other thing I'd say is you can call these scandals you want , until you got a smoking gun, until you have proven that someone has done something wrong, I'd be careful about calling it a scandal.
Watergate was a scandal. Iran/Contra was a scandal. This is yet to be a scandal.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Why? Forty people are dead because there was a secret waiting list in Phoenix, and there could be a whole hell of a lot more. That's not scandalous?
BECKEL: Well, it's scandalous -- of course, it's scandalous. But it's the people who did the list.
BOLLING: I'm not sure what you're talking about.
BECKEL: The way you're assuming this is you're saying Obama is responsible for 40 people dead.
BOLLING: I didn't say that. I never once said he was responsible for the 40 people being dead. I said he's taking -- he said he was going to take responsibility going forward. He was going to fix things. He didn't.
But he's blamed Bush. He's blamed the GOP and Congress. He said he hadn't heard about it yet until he saw it on the news. He said he didn't have enough money to do certain things. He's blamed everything except for what he should be doing, blaming Eric Shinseki.
He's the guy -- he's the top of it. He's the coach of the team that's losing. You fire the coach. You can't fire the whole team. You have to start over otherwise.
But I have a suggestion. Here's -- let's -- instead of pointing fingers, let's move the ball forward a little bit. Why not take one V.A., test case. Start over. Privatize the whole thing. Bring in your own people.
See how it works. Whatever you learned in the test case, apply it to all the V.A.s around the country. I'm not saying change the V.A. I'm saying this works, let's keep it. This doesn't work, let's fix it. But use that as a test case.
GUILFOYLE: But that's best practices. That's what we do in the free market, because what works, you stick with, what doesn't, you'd end.
Bob, bottom line is Obama and the administration knew about this as far back as 2008. So, what have you done for me lately?
BOLLING: They knew about the problems, the overburden of the V.A. That's right. Not about Phoenix.
GUTFELD: Well, most of the criticism, Andrea, though, reflects on the right being partisan no matter what? I mean, the media will always say, it's just another attack on Obama and not an actual, legitimate issue.
ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: And liberalism, right? So, if there's anything to be learned from this lesson, liberalism fails, big government fails, and conservatism wins. That really should be the message, that every time you have government delivering a service from the Post Office to the DMV to the V.A., people who work in monopolies are not incentivized to succeed.
They deliver crappie service, they deliver long lines, the quality is just terrible. There's not a lot of choice. And I have held up British headlines. Yesterday, I read from an article in the U.K. The White House knows this.
Donald Berwick, who used to head up for the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid, said that he loves the NHS in the U.K. They love the Canadian health care system.
This is exactly what it is and you know what it should put to rest finally this V.A. scandal or push for big government? The single-payer. This is single-payer. It's just like Medicaid and it doesn't work.
You know what they should do? Test case isn't bad. Maybe Phoenix is a good place to start. And you know what they should model it after? The charter school system, tax credits --
TANTAROS: -- vouchers, allow these veterans that are on these waiting lists to use a voucher and go to another hospital or pick three different hospitals and see how it works. It took Hurricane Katrina to sweep in and destroy New Orleans. Now, they brought in the charter school system, sensational results for those students. We owe that idea to our veterans.
GUTFELD: You're not saying that we need a hurricane.
TANTAROS: No, I'm not saying, but maybe the figurative hurricane of conservative or something like that.
GUTFELD: There you go.
BECKEL: I was going to say, if this all fails, let me say this, does the air traffic control fail? Does NASA fail? Does the Department of Agriculture fail? Does the highway system fail?
I mean, where are you talking about failure? I mean, everybody is ready to jump on the government for everything. You want to listen -- the way you listen to you people, you might as well do away with government altogether.
GUTFELD: I'm for that, except for the military and the roads.
BECKEL: The con artists at Wall Street, right? That's what you want to do.
GUTFELD: No, they don't defend our country.
Hey, I want to go to this sound on tape. But President Obama when he's asked about Shinseki, whether he's offered his resignation -- roll.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
REPORTER: Has Secretary Shinseki offered to resign? And if he's not to blame, who is?
BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Rick Shinseki I think serves this country because he cares deeply about veterans and he cares deeply about the mission. And I know that Rick's attitude, if he does not think he can do a good job on this, if he thinks he's let our veterans down, then I'm sure he's not going to be interested in continuing to serve.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: So, K.G., this was an interesting response because he's saying that I would never ask him to resign. If he feels he's not doing a good job, he would go. It's kind of a wishy-washy, to be polite -- a wishy-washy answer.
GUILFOYLE: Well, yes, because you expect the president of the United States, to come up with an idea. Not to just say that he's angered, outraged about something. And here, he's taking a pass, right? He's just saying, OK, well, if Shinseki thinks that he's not doing the job and he's not serving the veterans, then he should step down.
I think it was very clear during those hearings that this four-star general has no intention of stepping down and what you heard from this conversation is the commander-in-chief has no intention of asking him to relieve his position. So, where are we now? Where are the veterans?
BECKEL: I think he's a four-star. Is Petraeus a four-star general? Whatever. How many stars he has, he said today that the V.A. provided excellent service, did thousands of procedures every day. He was not willing to see Shinseki go until he saw some evidence.
Now, here's a guy that has a lot of soldiers who have reported to him. He knows a lot about the V.A., and he says they're getting excellent treatment. That's enough for me. More than from you guys.
GUTFELD: But, no -- yes, but, Bob, I've got to tell you, every time we do this topic, you go home, you go to Twitter, you go to Facebook. The letters that you get from just every day soldiers, nothing good to say about their treatment at the V.A. They go there and they're afraid that they're going to get worse. I have worked with people who tell me that the V.A. is terrible.
So, a lot -- I guess -- I mean, I'm not a big fan of anecdotal evidence --
GUILFOYLE: Or becomes drug addicted.
GUTFELD: Yes, that's not fun.
TANTAROS: That's why this isn't going to go away, because you're going to hear story after story after story.
TANTAROS: And most veterans like the V.A. until they get sick, right? Everyone loves free health care until they actually really ill, have to stand in line, have to wait to get a doctor's appointment.
The other thing with the V.A., they have the worst prescription drug plan because there's no competition. We are giving our veterans the crappiest drugs imaginable. And, Bob, you say that the system is great, it works. It's wonderful.
BECKEL: I didn't say it's great. I said --
BOLLING: You said it was good enough for you.
TANTAROS: It's failed for a really long time.
BOLLING: Petraeus said it's OK, so it's good for you. Forty are dead so far. We don't know how many are going to die on these waiting lists.
BECKEL: How many people are dead in the premarket hospital system --
BOLLING: According to Shinseki, it was an isolated incident. We went from that, now we have something like 26 different states are talking about secret waiting lists.
GUILFOYLE: And all the whistle-blowers are coming forward.
BECKEL: How many people die in the hospitals in the free market system?
BOLLING: I don't know. I'm not sure, Bob.
GUTFELD: I think you'd rather be in a free market hospital.
BECKEL: No, I wouldn't.
GUTFELD: No? Wait --
BECKEL: I'd take a V.A. hospital over a free market hospital any day.
BECKEL: Any way.
GUTFELD: All right. We should try that.
BOLLING: These are the people who should be getting better treatment than the average person.
GUILFOYLE: What about the doctors that -- wait, what about the doctors you have praised on the different illnesses and medical things that you've had -- said how great they are.
BECKEL: There are a lot of very good and very committed doctors at the V.A. I'm just saying, let's not throw out everything out there, the baby out with the bath water, by saying, because you have this incident in Phoenix and maybe other facilities, there's 254 or something like that.
GUTFELD: I agree with you. There are a lot of great people that work at the V.A. and I think that you can't malign over this.
What I believe, though, when you're looking at 26 or 27 places, seems almost endemic.
Can we move to the second SOT?
This is President Obama coming out of the gate, saying he will not tolerate misconduct -- or not.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
OBAMA: When I hear allegations of misconduct, any misconduct, whether it's allegations of V.A. staff covering up long wait times or cooking the books, I will not stand for it. Not as commander-in-chief, but also not as an American. None of us should.
So, if these allegations prove to be true, it is dishonorable. It is disgraceful and I will not tolerate it, period.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: Can I take this one?
GUTFELD: Yes, sure.
BOLLING: OK. Fine. I will not tolerate it, I won't stand for it -- but you stopped short.
Or else what? Or who's going to get fired? Is anyone going to get fired?
I listened to the whole press conference. He never said that.
BOLLING: He never said, heads will roll.
BOLLING: These people will be fired. They'll be removed. By the way, wait until we find out how many people are stealing money from the V.A. Wait until we find out how many people are purchasing managers and whatnot. And they're lining their own pockets.
This thing is just beginning to break open, Bob. I guarantee. You can't say it's just -- it's a few isolated --
BECKEL: You're not suggesting that Obama knew about this?
BOLLING: I'm suggesting if you spend $154 billion, doubling the budget over the last five years, there's going to be lot of waste, fraud and abuse.
BECKEL: But the taxpayers bailed out your buddies on Wall Street.
GUTFELD: All right. That's called deflection.
TANTAROS: And I'm sure that after this investigation that he kept referring to, the solution will be throw more money at the problem, which won't fix it.
I don't think that Eric Shinseki is the problem here. I don't. I think if you make him resign and do the sort of the predictable Republican thing to say, he should step down -- you're just going to replace him with somebody who's not as decorated and is not as committed --
GUTFELD: I mean, he's a good man. He's a disabled veteran.
TANTAROS: He is. Well, he's not to be conflated with Kathleen Sebelius. I think a lot of people are just saying, oh, this is just you know, top of the agency issue -- I don't agree with that.
But something has to be done. And what I -- what bothers me about President Obama is when he stands up at the podium, how many days after this story? Feeling pressure because we're coming on Memorial Day and he pretends like he's not a part of the government, right? Like he criticizes the government and he gets really angry.
But he is the government. And, Greg, even if he's the smartest president in the world, and he has magical powers, he can't even fix this. It doesn't matter who he fires or who he hires. The problem is too huge that right now, there are -- the only answer I say is to put some competition in the V.A.
GUTFELD: But you know what's scary? What if there was no growing outrage, because generally, vets by their nature don't complain.
GUTFELD: They're too modest to complain. If people like us aren't yelling, would he even respond?
GUILFOYLE: That's the point. He doesn't respond because he already knew about this to begin with, again, that there were these problems with the V.A. So, if it was supposed to be a priority and we're supposed to be giving our veterans the very best that we have, because they have already earned this right to have excellent Medicare and health care, right?
So, this is failure on the part of the United States to deliver this to them. The president should have made that an utmost priority, especially the issue was highlighted.
Hold on, Bob. They chose not to. So, the fact is like feigned outrage right now is just -- is disheartening. It's just not enough. He can get up there and say these platitudes that he's upset or angry about it, but he's not doing anything constructive to fix it. That's the issue.
BECKEL: These problems go back to Ronald Reagan, George Bush, George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, it's a bipartisan situation. The V.A. has been in trouble --
BOLLING: Do you know how many veterans -- do you know how many veterans who can afford, that would go to the V.A. for just their prescriptions and then go to another doctor to get treatment?
BECKEL: I thought Andrea said they're lousy prescriptions.
BOLLING: But they're cheap.
TANTAROS: Very cheap.
BOLLING: Go to the V.A., get the prescription, go the doctor and trying to get --
GUILFOYLE: They go and get the pain meds at the V.A. --
BECKEL: You think they can't find good doctors at the V.A.?
BOLLING: I'm saying that they're not the cream of the crop, by far. I'm sorry.
TANTAROS: No, there are good doctors, but any time you take -- you disincentivize people to work really hard, like the post office, you get slower service and you keep adding more patients because of the wars that you brought up. So, they're not able to perform. There's no incentive for them to outperform. There's no auto correct for really terrible service.
BECKEL: The vast majority of people who work at the V.A. perform exceptionally well.
GUILFOYLE: I think doctors are frustrated by it, too. And many of the reports detail -- for example, a cardiologist will see two patients a day, where a normal cardiologist in private practice will see eight heart patients a day. So, there's a failure to serve there.
GUTFELD: I think that Bob's point has to be well-taken, which is that this does go back a long way. But the difference here, Bob, is that the media is different. The media is no longer functioning as the watchdog the way it used to, back then, which enables things to fester, and things like Benghazi and the IRS because they don't want to tick off President Obama.
So, this stuff -- it grows like black mold. I think it's been around. But I think it's worse because the media is no longer watching.
BECKEL: I still have black mold in my bathroom.
GUILFOYLE: That is so gross.
GUTFELD: Thank you for that.
BECKEL: All right.
GUILFOYLE: What else is in your apartment?
TANTAROS: Not surprised.
GUTFELD: More to come on the V.A. nightmare and why it should make all Americans concerned over the health care mess that awaits the rest of us?
Bob, you're going to love this segment. It's not ObamaCare.
BECKEL: Oh, yes. It will be great.
TANTAROS: When President Obama finally addressed the V.A. scandal earlier, he pointed out how overloaded the health care system is for our veterans.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
OBAMA: There are 85 million appointments scheduled among veterans during the course of a year. That's a lot of appointments. That means we got to have a system that is built in order to be able to take those folks in in a smooth fashion, that they know what to expect. That's it reliable.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
TANTAROS: But if the government can't handle their appointments, how can we expect for it to handle the rest of Americans when ObamaCare sets in.
Here's Rush Limbaugh, Bob's favorite.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)]
RUSH LIMBAUGH, RADIO HOST: There's rampant income me tense here and inability to run the medical treatment of veterans affairs system. We've still got to find a way to convince people that this ObamaCare can't work and that everybody is headed for a similar potential as these deaths in the V.A. Here is a microcosm of what ObamaCare is going to be when fully implemented.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
TANTAROS: And isn't that, Kimberly, today, why when you finally heard the president speak, he wasn't going after the system -- the actual V.A. system and I how it works and why it could be failing. He started to take about Eric Shinseki and what a good man he was, and investigation, and he feigned outrage, but didn't get to what the V.A. was or I should say is, which basically is single-payer.
GUILFOYLE: Well, that's the problem, because if he shines a light on that, right, we actually have some, you know, illumination there, then you'll see this is really what the rest of you all are going to get -- one big fat V.A. system in the form of ObamaCare. But we can't show case it, because it doesn't work.
So, they have failed to be able to adequately care for the veterans that desperately need this help and have earned it and deserved it. And so, now, we want to trust him with our taxpayer dollars to take over all the health care systems. That to me doesn't seem like a reward put in the right place, given the failure that we have seen.
TANTAROS: Bob, you take --
BECKEL: Take over -- take over the health care system?
GUILFOYLE: -- the last block.
TANTAROS: You went down the list and you named all these former presidents that have presided over the V.A., but none of those presidents have reformed one-third of our economy with something like ObamaCare which actually is some kind of single payer, horrible hybrid.
BECKEL: But you know what the crap of this block is, that somehow you're equating ObamaCare with the V.A. The V.A. is owned and operated by the federal government. It is government-operated health care.
ObamaCare has nothing to do -- not a single hospital will be owned by the government. Not a single doctor will be owned by the --
TANTAROS: Bob, they're government-mandated plans with government- mandated benefits. It's a hybrid.
BECKEL: Because it gives you a nice little thing to talk about in this block. And, by the way, it's nice to see Rush Limbaugh again. We haven't seen him on this air for about, what, three hours. I mean, come on. Can we come put with somebody besides like Rush Limbaugh for --
BOLLING: You know what the problem is with President Obama using the 85 million visits which is accurate. The problem is there's 6.7 million enrollees. That's in the V.A. system. That means 13 visits per vet per year, right?
Now, let's just do straight numbers. President Obama wanted to insure 40 million new people under ObamaCare. If you add -- do the same math, 13 per visit, per enrollee per year, you're talking 585 million visit, half a billion visits, Bob.
If 40 people are dying, how many people are going to die in ObamaCare? How many people do you think?
BECKEL: And you're --
BOLLING: Let's just do the math. It's going to be about 500 people per year that are going to die waiting -- apples to apples -- 500 people will die on ObamaCare. Are you OK with that?
BECKEL: I assume the (INAUDIBLE) system will take care of it, right?
TANTAROS: Greg, right now, there's 2.9 million people waiting on waiting lists in the U.K., which does have single payer. ObamaCare is not single payer. But Medicaid --
BECKEL: Got to be close.
TANTAROS: Medicaid, Bob, which is part of ObamaCare, we talked about it here, Greg, hundreds of thousands of people are signing up for Medicaid under ObamaCare, very similar to the V.A.
GUTFELD: Well, the point -- I don't think you need to look at the V.A. to predict how badly ObamaCare will work. All you have to look at is ObamaCare.
GUTFELD: It was the worst rollout since the Titanic. And there wasn't even an iceberg. ObamaCare Web site didn't hit anything and it still imploded. There was no iceberg.
Look, the problem with this, it's a principle that Bob and I will always disagree on, but I firmly believe that bureaucracy cannot do business. Demand always overwhelms supply in bureaucracy. It's like asking a carrot to sing opera.
GUILFOYLE: Doesn't happen.
BECKEL: This not a bureaucracy in ObamaCare. It is simply a system using the free market enterprise. Free market hospital --
TANTAROS: Bob, you keep saying that. These are government-mandated plans with government-mandated benefits --
BECKEL: So what?
GUILFOYLE: He doesn't care.
BECKEL: What does that to do with the doctors in the hospital you're taking about?
TANTAROS: It's a hybrid.
BECKEL: It is not. Don't try to get people to believe that this ObamaCare has anything to do with V.A. It's nothing.
BOLLING: Can we just ask this? Under ObamaCare, do you think people have to wait for treatments?
BECKEL: No. I think it's going to be -- I think people have to wait in emergency rooms. The same people you're talking about, who do not have insurance, were lining in the emergency rooms. I think ObamaCare -- you guys got worried about it, ObamaCare is starting to work now. It's starting to work and it's working well.
TANTAROS: How can you defend government-run health care after this V.A. scandal? How? In any form, how?
GUILFOYLE: Because he's Bob Beckel.
TANTAROS: How? People are dying.
BECKEL: Because it is a small percentage of the Veterans Administration. But we're talking -- I'm not going to defend something that's apples and oranges. You talk about insurance that's mandated, which should be because insurance companies got away with doing everybody on the cheap and going to the free enterprise system you're talking about.
TANTAROS: With government plans.
BOLLING: But, Bob, the hospitals have to be paid by somebody.
BECKEL: Oh, yes, I'm sure they do.
BOLLING: That's where ObamaCare comes in. They're going to go back to the policyholders. Hey, who is paying? Well, government is going to pay. If they don't pay, the doctors are going to say, hold on, I'm not taking ObamaCare anymore. I'm going private.
BECKEL: How many people do you think are going to pay for by Obama?
GUILFOYLE: Because they're not going to do charity, Eric, right? They're going to go private. Why would they do that if they're not going to stay in the system and work as a doctor for free in some kind of like failed enterprise? They're not going to do it. They don't have to.
BECKEL: -- the streets of this country because of health care?
GUTFELD: There is -- there is one fair comparison you can make between the V.A. and ObamaCare and that is the way the incompetence endures because it's protected by people who aren't using it. So, there are proponents of ObamaCare who oddly enough aren't users, the celebrities. Then, there are people like Bob who says, "I love the V.A." You're not -- you don't go to the V.A.
BECKEL: I'm using ObamaCare and I got a colonoscopy today.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, here we go.
GUTFELD: I can't wait to see the pictures. I hate these polyps.
TANTAROS: Fasten your seat belts because Eric's fastest is coming, featuring a former presidential candidate who wants Republicans to leave America, we've got a senator who thinks Ronald Reagan is to blame for the collapse of the middle class, oh, and the ear wax-eating congressman who says communism works.
Don't go away.
BOLLING: Welcome back, everybody. "The Fastest Seven," loony liberal edition. Plenty of material to choose from today. Three new stories, seven laser minutes, one lively host.
First liberal loon: Howard Dean, who still is best known for blowing the chance at the White House with that looney liberal Dean scream. Here's Dr. Dean taking a cheap shot at Republicans.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
HOWARD DEAN, FORMER DNC CHAIR: This country has been sold down the river by the right wing for their own purposes. This is a Republican Party that has decided they like power so much that they think it's OK to win by taking away the right to vote. They are not Americans! They seem more comfortable in the Ukraine or Russia. But stay away from our country. This is based on the right to vote!
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: All right. Quick round. K.G., any Republican you ever hear looking to take away people's right to vote?
GUILFOYLE: No. That's the problem. And if you look back historically, it was, in fact, the Republican Party that was championing the right to vote. So bottom line is, he's missed (UNINTELLIGIBLE). He should have stayed under that little screaming rock that we found him under before. Crazy, crazy.
BOLLING: Yes, that Dean scream. I wanted to roll the Dean scream again, but we were...
BECKEL: But a Republican and United States senator who frequents hookers in Louisiana, New Orleans, on a regular basis is still in the Senate.
GUILFOYLE: What? What, Bob?
BECKEL: That's all I've got to say.
BECKEL: You bring up the loony Democrats, do that -- I've plenty of them, I've got -- I'm not going to talk about this. It's ridiculous.
GUILFOYLE: You just said it, Bob.
BECKEL: I said that -- what I said is I want to introduce you to a Republican senator who frequented whorehouses in New Orleans who is still there.
GUTFELD: I get it.
BOLLING: You do?
GUTFELD: I get the logic.
GUILFOYLE: He's talking about somebody.
BOLLING: Howard Dean said Republicans should move back to Russia.
TANTAROS: I don't know what -- what to say when it turns into Bob Beckel's true confessions. I'm just going to pretend that didn't happen.
All I will say about Howard Dean is this: He was too wacky for his own party.
TANTAROS: The end.
GUTFELD: That's why they kept him around. They kept -- the left kept him as their base level insane-iac, so everybody else looks less crazy.
But the whole quote is amazing. He said that he had enough of politics of anger, politics of hate, and politics of division. This is after he said the Republicans aren't Americans. He's not Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He's Mr. Hyde and Mr. Hyde. He's Hyde!
BOLLING: All right. Let's do this next loony liberal to make it on the "Fast Seven," Elizabeth Warren. Here's Senator Warren going off the reservation, so to speak, with an in-character Stephen Colbert.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SEN. ELIZABETH WARREN (D), MASSACHUSETTS: I grew up in an America that was investing in kids. It was investing in public universities. It had a higher minimum wage. That's how we built America's great middle class. Then starting in about the 1980s, we turned in a different direction. STEPHEN COLBERT, HOST, COMEDY CENTRAL'S "THE COLBERT REPORT": You mean when Reagan came in and it was morning in America?
WARREN: He had a couple of ideas. The first one was that they would fire the cops. Not the ones on Main Street but the ones on Wall Street. It was supporting having the regulators look the other way while the biggest financial institutions hit every trick and every track possible. And what ultimately happened by 2008 was that they broke the economy.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: That was refreshing: a Democrat not blaming Bush. She's blaming Reagan. Greg, how can she blame Reagan?
GUTFELD: That was really long. Her Native American name should Chief Full of Crap. But she's a proof of identity over character. She made it a big deal, of her Native American background, but she's an intellectual lightweight.
BOLLING: And, thoughts?
TANTAROS: I was shocked she was blaming something other than global warming and President Bush. So I actually think Warren's maybe a little more creative than I gave her credit for, although the Indian heritage was pretty creative.
BOLLING: One thirty-second, I think it was.
TANTAROS: One hundred and thirty-second.
BOLLING: Bob, you want to add to this?
BECKEL: Yes, sure. Sure. They -- under Reagan they deregulated Wall Street and allowed the robber barons took over. Look what happened. It's what put us in another depression.
BOLLING: Got you.
GUTFELD: What about the Community Reinvestment Act?
BECKEL: No, I'm just talking about the -- if you want to -- don't defend Wall Street and those bums.
GUTFELD: I'm talking about the Community Reinvestment Act.
BECKEL: They all should have been perp walked.
BOLLING: I know, but unemployment went down. Inflation went down. Job creation skyrocketed under Reagan.
BECKEL: For a while, that's right, it did. It was inflated, and investment bankers made billions and billions of dollars.
BOLLING: From his second year through his eighth year. I'm sorry. Go ahead, K.G.
GUILFOYLE: I'm sorry, yes. If you're, like, down on prosperity and the free market; and you want to have lower taxes, and you want less regulation...
BECKEL: That's because you want to marry a hedge-fund guy.
GUILFOYLE: What is wrong with you? I mean, a lot.
BOLLING: They're moving us along, K.G. We'll get you back on this one.
GUILFOYLE: Thanks. All right.
BOLLING: Remember Joe Garcia, the earwax-chomping congressman. Well, that alone should earn the lawmaker a spot in the "Fastest Seven." But get this: here is Representative Gross talking America, communism and immigration, all at once.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
REP. JOE GARCIA (D), FLORIDA: The safest city in America is El Paso, Texas. It happens to be across the border from the most dangerous city in the Americas; and two of the safest cities in America, two of them are on the border with Mexico. And of course, the reason is, you know, we proved that communism works. If you give everybody a good government job, there's no crime.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: Well, Bobby, another Democrat saying communism works. Now to his defense, he said he was tongue in cheek with that one.
BECKEL: Said he was tongue in cheek?
GUTFELD: Ear wax in cheek.
BECKEL: What wasn't tongue in cheek was a certain senator from Wyoming that tried to pick up a gay guy in a bathroom.
GUILFOYLE: What is wrong with you?
BOLLING: Really? What is this?
BECKEL: Maybe it was tongue in cheek. Maybe I was wrong.
BOLLING: Fastest derailing of a block?
GUTFELD: I get what -- Bob is saying like for every crazy person we can find, he can find another, and that's what...
BOLLING: Today? These are from today.
GUTFELD: I know, I know. But give him credit.
GUILFOYLE: But this is a problem. This is just in one day. And Bob's like going way back in the past to find to pull something out.
BECKEL: I don't have to go way back. I can find a gay...
BOLLING: Oh, brother.
BECKEL: ... in the House of Representatives who's Republican.
BOLLING: That's the whole point.
GUTFELD: I can find one down in Times Square, if you like.
BECKEL: I can find one out the door.
BOLLING: These three were from within in the last day or so, maybe couple of days.
GUILFOYLE: I mean, true. You can't make it up.
TANTAROS: He's right, it is one of the most effective means on the planet to destroy life, liberty, property, the pursuit of happiness. It does work. But you know what? The only thing is he's a bit of a hypocrite, because I didn't see him offering to share his ear wax.
GUILFOYLE: That's your party, Bob.
GUTFELD: Let me -- I've got to add this. Do you ever wonder what's going to be on your tombstone? This guy has to be wondering if, man, "I ate ear wax on C-SPAN" will be on his tombstone.
TANTAROS: Like "No Q-tips in sight" or something.
BOLLING: Exactly. That's one of those things, the Dean scream and that one. They ain't going away any time soon.
Next, Dr. Ben Carson touches a nerve with Whoopi Goldberg when he explains why the welfare system isn't doing the poor any favors. Hear Whoopi's response coming up.
SHEPARD SMITH, FOX NEWS ANCHOR: That's breaking news now on FOX News channel. Shepard Smith from the FOX News desk in New York with an incredible story coming to us right now from Santa Ana, California.
A woman who was a teenager at the time, kidnapped 15 years ago -- excuse me, ten years ago almost this month, has now been found and is alive. Here's the story.
She was 15. Her mother believed that this one man, Isidro Garcia, had kidnapped her, but she didn't have any evidence. Now we know that this man not only kidnapped her, but according to the allegations, drugged her, provided her with a new name, kept her in a garage so she could not escape, got the two of them jobs so they worked side by side on an overnight cleaning service. Moved multiple times to avoid police.
The woman now 25, scared to death to call anyone, finally contacted her sister on Facebook, and the cops have arrested this man and brought this woman to safety. We'll have much more as the news develops. I'm Shepard Smith.
GUILFOYLE: All right. Ben Carson is back in the news again, this time for his remarks about welfare on "The View." Now the renowned neurosurgeon, who lifted himself up out of poverty, got Whoopi all riled up when he said this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TERRY CREWS, ACTOR: Do you believe that the welfare system is racist?
BEN CARSON, NEUROSURGEON: Let me put it this way. When you rob someone of their incentive to go out there and improve themselves, you are not doing them any favors.
So what would be much more empowering is to use our intellect and resources to give those people a way up and out.
WHOOPI GOLDBERG, CO-HOST, ABC'S "THE VIEW": Very few want to walk with their kids and take Food Stamps in there. Most people would rather work.
Now, I don't feel bad about being a welfare mother, because I contribute as an American. That's what we do. And because the welfare system is so bizarre, you can't work. They don't allow you to work. Because they take the money from you.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: All right, it's getting heated over there on "The View" today. So Greg, what do you think? Whoopi is making a fair point?
GUTFELD: Two things I need to -- two very important points. I never ever compliment "The View." It's a bridge club manned by chattering toucans, but it's nice to see them have Ben Carson on. That would be like "The Five" having Howard Dean on. I have to respect that.
Bu the big part of this story is, who else is on the table? Terry Crews, who is the greatest president of all time. He played President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho in the movie "Idiocracy." That is the man who should be running our country right there. Check out those guns!
GUILFOYLE: OK. That was very odd. Andrea, what do you think? I liked seeing the two of them talk about welfare in America. I mean, this is man who's held in high esteem, who did an incredible amount in his life -- his brother, as well -- to bring himself up out of poverty. Renowned neurosurgeon. Many people believe that, you know, he's their kind of conservative and that he could make a great president.
TANTAROS: Yes. And he wasn't saying that we shouldn't have welfare. His point was that welfare is not meant to be a lifestyle.
TANTAROS: It's meant to be a safety net. And I actually think Whoopi's second point is pretty much the same thing that Ben Carson was saying.
TANTAROS: I mean, she was also making a very good point, which is they disincentivize you to get off welfare and actually go and work. And right before the elections, the president did that himself.
Look, Ben Carson was very fortunate to have the mother that he did.
TANTAROS: He speaks about her a lot. She made a conscious decision to get off welfare. But now there's really no incentive to be the next Ben Carson. Where are we going to get the next generation of Ben Carsons if there's no incentive for these mothers to get off welfare? Instead, we have ObamaCare, which actually incentivizes people not to get married. And single motherhood is the fastest pathway to poverty. Fact.
GUILFOYLE: All right. But Whoopi is saying, Eric, that the mothers that are on this, on welfare, they don't want to be. They'd rather have a good job. But I think Ben Carson would also say, yes, let the free market take care of that, and let's create jobs and not punish entrepreneurs.
BOLLING: Ben Carson's fantastic. His ideas are just really, really spot on. I think it's unfortunate that he doesn't have more political experience, also I see -- he would really be a great candidate.
GUTFELD: Maybe that's good that he doesn't any.
BOLLING: Well, but can he campaign?
BOLLING: You know, Bob makes a great point about campaigning. It's a tough road out there if you don't have any experience. Romney got better at it as he's done it. It would take some time. He -- I would love to get him.
He -- very quickly. He makes a very good point. Just because you're against Obama's policies doesn't mean you're a racist. Just because you're against the expansion of the welfare system doesn't mean you don't have compassion for people who don't -- who don't have as much or can't afford to live. And just because you don't believe in climate change doesn't mean you don't hate the environment. If that message can -- if other Republicans can take that message and run with it...
GUILFOYLE: Channel Carson. All right. Bobby.
BECKEL: I think it was -- I think it was a legitimate argument between two people on two sides of the welfare debate, and I think they both make some points. Carson is a success story.
The problem is that the free market system simply does not have the capacity to take care of people who are on welfare.
GUILFOYLE: All right. Still ahead, some powerful testimony today on Capitol Hill from a young woman who survived an attack by the Islamic fanatics of Boko Haram solely because her family was Christian. Coming up on "The Five." Stay with us.
BECKEL: Welcome back to the liberal block, and on "The Five," I have one minute and 43 seconds.
Six states held primaries yesterday, a Super Tuesday of sorts, for the 2014 midterms. Mitch McConnell, my favorite person, easily beat a Tea Party challenging in Kentucky. Another if win foe establishment Eric, I said to you the Tea Party was a passing phase. It is.
BOLLING: Well, look, there's no question some Tea Party favorites didn't win in primaries, but that was -- what, were there six primaries, Bob? So that's it, the Tea Party is done.
Look, whether the Tea Party is done or on the downslope may or may not be the case. But I will tell you one thing: Whatever they've done it's been for the betterment of the party. Smaller taxes, smaller government, more freedoms, most liberties. And that's what they're all about, and I think that's going to make every candidate going forward better.
BECKEL: OK. Andrea.
TANTAROS: You know what you Democrats do really well?
BECKEL: I don't know but you better say it quickly.
TANTAROS: I know. Well, they're hurrying us. You don't go after each other as much as Republicans do. There's something called profiteering like division, where Republican consultants are making lots and lots of money by these primaries that are happening. This last election, not the one yesterday, more money was spent trying to unseat Mitch McConnell than help Republican Ken Cuccinelli in Virginia. We love to have our fights very public with lots of cash. You Democrats, you don't do it as much.
BECKEL: Keep going at it.
GUTFELD: I mean, the Republicans have to understand there were differences in the McCoy family, but in the end their feud was with the Hatfields.
BECKEL: Very good.
GUILFOYLE: All right. I think fighting within a party isn't fatal. I think it's good to have some free discussion, debate, some vigor into the whole situation. And that's why the Republican Party is not going to sweat the deal about the Tea Party, evaluate based on the individual candidates and not label them and do it that way.
BECKEL: Dream on, dream on. "One More Thing" is up next.
GUTFELD: Time for "One More Thing" and it's time for...
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: I hate these polyps!
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: All right. Great news. I've got the results of Bob's colonoscopy report from this morning. Don't show it? Sorry about that. I have good news. He has a benign behind. He has a few polyps here and there, but they're not malignant and his rectum is quite clear.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God.
GUTFELD: He may be a pain in the butt to all of us, but there's no pain in his butt.
BECKEL: Thank you very much, Greg. I appreciate you doing that. OK.
GUILFOYLE: Did that just happen?
BECKEL: Yes, it happened about four hours ago. You can have those pictures if you want.
Deborah Peters testified on Capitol Hill today. She is -- her father was killed by the Boko Haram in Nigeria because he refused to renounce his Christianity. Let's take a listen.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DEBORAH PETERS, FATHER KILLED BY BOKO HARAM: They come. They're going to give him a chance if he deny his faith. But my dad, he refused to deny his faith. He didn't give up. And then he told them that God saves anyone that denied him in front of people. He's going to deny them in front of his dad in heaven. So that's how they shoot my dad in his chest three times.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Amazing. Kimberly.
GUILFOYLE: OK. So last night I had the privilege to attend an event for HireHeroesUSA.org, and check out their Web site. And this is a really much-needed organization. Hundreds of thousands of veterans are discharged, and they need to get jobs. They have served our country honorably, faithfully. And this organization, in particular, works with them so they can translate and communicate their value so that employers understand how lucky they are to have these veterans.
And today, I just want to say, because it's Memorial Day coming up, we have two incredible Navy SEAL veterans in the audience watching "The Five" today, T. Scolan (ph) and Marcus Luttrell. So we want to thank them for their service. And wouldn't you want to hire guys like this?
BECKEL: No, but...
GUILFOYLE: You're the worst.
GUTFELD: I've got to move on to Andrea.
TANTAROS: From Bob's heiny to American heroes -- can't say we don't have range here on "The Five." Angelina Jolie made an announcement possibly about...
BECKEL: She has polyps.
TANTAROS: ... a run for office today on "Good Morning America." Take a listen.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANGELINA JOLIE, ACTRESS: You know, if I thought I'd be effective, I would. But I'm not sure if I would ever be taken seriously in that way and be able to be effective.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
TANTAROS: You would be. And she also went after Hollywood moms, telling them to stop complaining and that she has all these benefits. And I just -- I like her.
BECKEL: I'd vote for her.
GUTFELD: I'd vote for her three times -- Eric.
BOLLING: Exactly. A Democrat, right?
Last night on the eve of the 9/11 museum opening, Bloomberg, Mayor Bloomberg rented the place out with Conde Nast and threw an alcohol-fueled party. Now, the reason why that's relevant and why that's ticking off a lot of family members of people who were killed in 9/11. It's because the remains of 1,115 people still remain on those hallowed grounds. So victims -- so Bloomberg, in essence, threw his own party, making it his own club, with table service.
TANTAROS: How tacky, what a jerk.
GUILFOYLE: There wasn't anything super-sized there, was it?
BECKEL: Greg, you're supposed to say something before we go.
GUTFELD: I know, I know. It's the end. Don't forget to set your DVRs so you never miss an episode of "The Five." We'll see you back here tomorrow.
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