This is a rush transcript from "The Five," May 7, 2014. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Kimberly Guilfoyle, along with Bob Beckel, Eric Bolling, Dana Perino, and Greg Gutfeld.
It's 5 o'clock in New York City and this is "The Five."
The same Muslim terror group responsible for the kidnapping of nearly 300 school girls has just killed hundreds in an attack in northeastern Nigeria. The Islamic extremists from Boko Haram want to impose an Islamic state in the country where nearly half of the 170 million people are Christian.
Meanwhile, the United States and Britain are both trying to help find the girls who were abducted last month.
Here are President Obama and Prime Minister David Cameron.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIPS)
BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: We've already sent in a team to Nigeria. They've accepted our help -- a combination of military, law enforcement, and other agencies who are going in, trying to identify where in fact these girls might be.
DAVID CAMERON, BRITISH PRIME MINISTER: This is an act of pure evil. This is not just a Nigerian issue. It is a global issue. There are extreme Islamists around our world who are against education, against progress, against equality, and we must fight them and take them on wherever they are.
(END VIDEO CLIPS)
GUILFOYLE: So David Cameron is right. This is an act of pure evil. This is something that everyone should rally around internationally to produce a good and just result. They need to be held accountable. And those young girls need to be brought back to their homes.
You see the footage, Eric, of the mothers, they're so upset, talking about, listen, no one's doing anything for us, no one's trying to help us, nobody's done anything in the government to go and get our girls back. And the reports that are many of them have been raped, are pregnant and are struggling with none of them to help them.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Some of them are babies, 9 years old, 10 years old.
It's a true terror group. It's the definition of terror. They're kidnapping schoolgirls. They're also -- they believe that girls shouldn't even be in school.
But another thing that they've done is they've burned down churches in the past, schools as well. I think Greg pointed out just before we started. He may have been talking about this earlier.
But what they're trying to do is trying to set up Christian versus Muslim. That's what they're trying to do. They're trying to exploit that and see if they can intensify that kind of religious war going forward.
But there's two challenges. Number one, get the girls back. That's the short-term challenge, these 300 or however many.
GUILFOYLE: And safely.
And then, what do you do after that? Do you put this group down? Do you put them out of existence? And how do you do that? Or do you try and contain it?
Now, that's a big debate right there. Like any terror group, can you eradicate a terror group or do you just try and contain them? My guess is going forward the short-term get the girls back and then contain this group.
GUILFOYLE: All right. Dana, talk to me about the messaging here. From a communications perspective, you have the remarks from President Obama, David Cameron, a little bit different in their tone, their rhetoric. What do you take from that?
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: I think those two leaders have different approaches to how they communicate things. And I think that David Cameron's rally, rallying cry is slightly more persuasive. But President Obama obviously -- I don't think there's anybody in America who disagrees that this is abhorrent and that we could do something.
I think there is a debate on whether we should do something. And I'm for doing something. But I'm for doing something just about everywhere and I get criticized for it. But that's fine with me, because that's what I would do.
But I'm curious about our decision as Americans to go and try to help these girls. I'm for that. I have been from the beginning. I would like to help the boys who were murdered earlier by this group.
But this -- since this Syrian civil war started, there are almost 8,000 children who have been killed by the government, and we just kind of throw up our hands and say, well, at least we got the chemical weapons out, but we really didn't.
What happens when the Taliban resurfaces and starts to do the same thing to girls again? Where is our consistency in our foreign policy? And that's not a President Obama thing. That is a decision that everybody in America needs to make decisively.
GUILFOYLE: And this seems to be a very easy decision for international leaders like President Obama and David Cameron to make. What's the difference, Greg, with this situation versus Syria?
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Well, actually, I think it's great that people are outraged over this, but it's not an anomaly. We've been discussing this for years. Bob's been in front of talking about this.
And that's why -- what I like about what Cameron, the point he's making is very important. We have in America, we have to go through these like -- we have to be so flexible in our approach when we talk about this sort of thing because we're always worried about being labeled Islamophobic.
So, this is more about a war on girls. We're talking about education. We're not talking about what it really is, which is a war on civilization. There are boys killed. There are girls killed. There are humans killed every day because of Islamic radicalism.
But for some reason now, the media is outraged. The media's behind this because they found a way to approach this that is not perceived as Islamophobic. It's now about girls.
Well, it should be about humanity. It should be about the attack on humanity. And that whenever you hear a man shout "Allahu Akbar" in a crowd, people get scared. That's what it's about.
GUILFOYLE: So, Bob, how does this story make you feel? When you see what seems to be pretty decisive leadership in this regard where you don't in others.
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Well, I think it's sad that it took 300 girls to do this, but it finally, finally brought the world's attention and the media's attention to what has been going on for a long time. Not just in Nigeria but a lot of other Muslim countries. And I think that what bothers me, of course, is that once again, once again, I've not seen any Muslim leaders in countries beyond Nigeria who are willing to stand up and say something about this.
But this has galvanized the world in a way, and you can't walk away from a story like this. I think Greg's right, they grabbed hold of it because it's girls. But at least it's on the front page of "The New York Times." I mean, finally.
BECKEL: There have been churches burned, there have been children killed, as Dana pointed out, going back for several years. And yet for some reason nobody wants to cover it because they're afraid of these people. And I think this may be the most important thing that's happened. If we get these girls back, it will be.
And if we lose them, it is -- they will have been martyred in a way that finally woke the world up.
Now, can we take these people out as Eric suggested? Let's remember, Nigeria's a big country. They control a big section of the country geographically. So, it probably would be very difficult to do it.
But I think whatever it takes. This guy in my view, the head of this radical group, is the new bin laden. And I think he ought to be put on top of the list and be taken out.
GUTFELD: But here's the issue with that, though. That's what he wants. I mean, he is actually looking at this as excellent PR, because in the current state of this world going back, I don't know, centuries, anti- West venom pays. If you can be -- if you can position yourself against America or the West in general, people will turn you into a hero. He understands that.
And it actually does happen, even in America. Even on our campuses we have so much anti-west venom that would actually seek the root cause out for this group's pain and --
BECKEL: Well, he may want to become a hero, but with a drone down his butt, I think that will be the answer to that.
BOLLING: But here's the problem. Here's the -- the bin Laden -- let's call it the bin Laden trap. So, you take this guy out.
What have you solved? There's another bin Laden ready to go.
GUILFOYLE: It's like whack a mole. Whack a terrorist.
GUTFELD: But you kill that one, too, because if you -- sometimes when you whack a mole, it teaches another mole not to come up. That's how it works.
BOLLING: Listen, I'm not saying we shouldn't -- I do think we should go after this guy and as you say, drone up his butt, whatever you said over there. But let's not confuse that with solving the problem. I mean, the way to do it in my opinion is get the CIA in there like we probably are, we don't know for sure, and provide -- U.N. involvement and get as much financial aid that the Nigerian government will need and take to eradicate the group.
GUILFOYLE: Let's take this to the next level because there's been additional news developments because now juxtapose what's going on here, and it's almost shocking because the latest development, the sultan of Brunei imposing Sharia law in his country. And this has set off protests at the Brunei-owned Beverly Hills Hotel by celebrities. So, indeed, we're seeing some action here by celebrities, you know, finally.
But, what an odd time to impose this.
PERINO: For the sultan to have done it? I think that we underestimate, because we are so self-absorbed, that we underestimate what is actually happening with religious extremism all around the world. It's not just in Brunei. I mean, there are court cases happening, mostly all over Britain right now and in Western Europe but some in the United States where you have challenges being brought to American courtrooms about Sharia law, and I think that's why there's been a little bit of a wake-up call.
And if this is what it takes for Hollywood to be involved and to be on the right side of something, I'm for that.
GUTFELD: What a sacrifice, though. I'm no longer -- I'm not staying at the Beverly Hills Hotel. I'm going to the Sunset Marquis. But I agree.
GUILFOYLE: I recommend the Peninsula.
GUTFELD: It's about time, I guess.
BECKEL: Sharia law is a direct assault on human rights, something that this country has stood for, for a very long time. People make fun of Jimmy Carter, but he brought human rights front and center. I say what we need to do is stop all economic activity with Brunei, shut down their hotels here.
Anybody that establishes Sharia law in their country, it is a law that runs against humanity. And we have no reason to have them in any way represented in the global nations. Just do away with it.
I bet you Brunei's going to have a hard time without the United States' economic assistance to be able to build here. And I'd take their hotels -- hell, I'd burn their hotels.
GUILFOYLE: Now, they're even joking about it on the late night shows. Listen, this is Jay Leno comparing a protest -- comparing --
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JAY LENO, COMEDIAN: There's nothing extreme happening here. These aren't crazy feminist wackos. They're women who just want to protect other women. And gay people protecting other gay -- I mean, it's just -- I don't know. Berlin 1933? Hello. I mean, just does it seem that far off from what happened during the Holocaust?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: So, now, we're hearing from Jay Leno in a whole other venue. What do you think about him getting involved in this, being an activist in this situation, Dana?
PERINO: Well, everybody wondered where Jay Leno was going to show up next and what late-night show he was going to have. But one of the things I think is so wonderful about somebody like Jay Leno is that they can take their celebrity and use it for a very -- to give voice to people who aren't able to speak for themselves. When it comes to Sharia law in particular it's women that it targets and that it doesn't allow for you to be a free individual and participatory in the world.
So, I think what Jay Leno is trying to do is at least elevate the discussion and to be one that you could actually have it on the front page of "The New York Times."
GUILFOYLE: Does it help?
BOLLING: Yes, I think this is exactly what has to happen. It's amazing in this day and age that number one, the first story with the young girls being kidnapped and other kids being kidnapped, people being kidnapped.
And number two, that the sultan of Brunei is so tone deaf to what's going on in the world that he's going to start instituting Sharia law, which we know condones stoning people for adultery, women for adultery.
BOLLING: Amputations. It's absolutely Stone Age. It's ridiculous.
And I think when Jay Leno or other celebrities finally do stuff like this, look, I'm all for the protests. It's the American way. I get it. That's fine. And we're shining a light on something that needs to -- needs some light shined. And it's the process and --
BECKEL: Can I just make one point? I did not mean to suggest we should go burn down hotels. This shows you how upset I can be about these people.
But there are two things that need to be done right away -- any country, any country that adopts Sharia law should be dropped out of the United Nations and we should have no recognition of one. And two, the only way we're ultimately going to deal with this is the countries that harbor these radicals who are afraid to take them on are going to have to -- we can't do it ourselves. The Saudis are one of the worst about this because they fund a lot of this stuff. We need to have the Arab and Muslim countries come together and say this is beginning to hurt us economically and force them to be hurt economically because they harbor these absolute horrible, wretched people.
GUTFELD: Well, to the point of this protest in Beverly Hills amongst celebrities, is this finally now the end of cultural relativism, where good-natured people will look to other countries and say oh, they're just different? You know, and saying that it's different, whether the difference involves female circumcision or women not being able to drive, it's part of a cultural difference and you have to respect that. Are we finally going to agree that's a bunch of B.S.?
BECKEL: Yes --
BOLLING: Bob, there was an issue that came a couple of months ago when the Obama administration backed off on the economic sanctions to Iran, and you were all for us releasing or easing some of the economic sanctions to Iran. The biggest state sponsor of terror and probably the biggest exerciser of Sharia law would be Iran.
Now, you're calling for us to cut off relations and trade with Brunei and maybe Saudi Arabia but not Iran?
BECKEL: Wait a second. I was dealing with that in terms of nuclear weapons that they were developing.
BOLLING: I know. But what you're doing is cutting Obama administration slack when they didn't deserve --
BECKEL: I'm not giving anybody any slack. This is a topic I haven't given anybody any slack at all. I mean, I've been --
GUTFELD: They can't wear slacks there.
BECKEL: Yes, that's right.
GUILFOYLE: Good point.
BECKEL: This is no -- Jay Leno is right. I would say this without any hesitation, and I'm not taking this back upstairs, and that is that Sharia law is as bad as the Nazis were and as we did not recognize Nazi Germany, we should not recognize Sharia law and recognize they are one and the same.
They are murderers. They're thugs. And they do to human rights the worst possible thing. They pick on children. And so, they are Nazis.
GUILFOYLE: Eric's fastest seven, up next. Including, Lynn Cheney's theory that Hillary Clinton might have been behind Monica's new tell-all about Bill.
Plus, a concerned dad is arrested at a school meeting after speaking out about a sexually explicit book his daughter had to read.
And an emotional tribute by the NBA's new MVP to his mom. Swap those.
Don't move. All that ahead when "The Five" return.
BOLLING: Welcome back to the fastest seven minutes in news, cable or otherwise. Three spicy stories, seven spirited minutes, one spry host.
First up, the story that keeps on giving. Sixteen years ago, Monica Lewinsky had an affair with President Bill Clinton -- blue dresses, cigars. But why would she tell her story, her side of the affair right now?
Here's Lynne Cheney and Kirsten Powers on a theory we tossed around this table yesterday.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
LYNNE CHENEY, WIFE OF FORMER VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY: I really wonder if this isn't an effort on the Clintons' part to get that story out of the way. Would "Vanity Fair" publish anything about Monica Lewinsky that Hillary Clinton didn't want in "Vanity Fair"?
KIRSTEN POWERS, USA TODAY: The idea that the Clintons are behind this just seems like a real stretch to me. Not because I don't think they're capable of it but just because I don't think Monica Lewinsky would ever do anything to please them.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: I don't know, D, doesn't it make sense to get it out of the way? How about this? Let's just throw it up there and see what happens and see what the response is and see how big an issue it is going to be for 2016.
PERINO: I maintain my theory that there's no explicit direction from the Clinton campaign suggesting it. It's just that the left communicates in like a secret code language that we can't understand, they use like that special ink to be able to understand it. It's not a right-wing conspiracy. It's a silent left-wing conspiracy.
And right on cue this morning "The Washington Post," one of the columnists writes a piece that says, well, well, well, Lewinsky must have just done -- might have just done a favor for Hillary Clinton.
So I think that the left knows they want to get this out of the way and now after all this if Hillary Clinton's asked about it she can say you know, what she's spoken, I've spoken, I think that we can all just put this away now.
BOLLING: Bob, we didn't get your opinion last night. What do you think of this? What's behind the timing of 16 years later --
BECKEL: Well, first of all, I can't -- I've written it in my invisible ink and I can't get it to come up here.
PERINO: I don't think they gave you the code any longer.
BECKEL: They didn't, and they took my ring away, my secret ring.
The idea -- listen, I did a show with Lynne Cheney for three years. I actually like the woman, but this is -- I mean, she's been out in the thin air in Wyoming too long. This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.
A conspiracy -- first of all, Powers is right. Lewinsky wouldn't go along with it. This story is probably the worst thing that could come out for them right now. Because why do they want to revisit it? It's been 11 years.
PERINO: They have to.
BOLLING: Better now than --
PERINO: Yes, a year from now.
BECKEL: And you don't think -- so you think it's not going to become an issue in the next election?
BOLLING: I think they can judge it a little bit. Your thoughts on it, Greg?
GUTFELD: Who's behind Monica?
BOLLING: Oh, stop.
GUTFELD: Probably Bill.
BECKEL: Whoever's behind the tape is probably behind Monica.
GUTFELD: I think Mrs. Clinton should do the right thing because Monica has been in the wilderness for 20 years. You know, hire Monica Lewinsky, put her an her staff for a change. It might be good.
GUILFOYLE: I think this benefits Hillary Clinton to get this out there and toss it around. What?
GUTFELD: I have no idea what you guys are laughing about.
BOLLING: Actually, what I'm laughing about is Bob has a cigar.
GUILFOYLE: Ay, ay, ay. That's dangerous in his hands.
BECKEL: You got a blue dress?
BOLLING: Stop it.
GUILFOYLE: I'm just saying the timing of it benefits Hillary and it's kind of good to get it out there, talk about it, and don't hide it, worrying, waiting for it to rear its head again. As for Monica, again, she's going to do what she wants and she thinks. She's not trying to help Hillary win.
BOLLING: Stay right there. I'm coming to you first on this one.
This is sure to make any parent's blood boil. William Baer (ph) was protesting a raunchy book his 14-year-old daughter was forced to read in school. Here's the school board meeting, the protest, and the aftermath.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It's absurd. Everybody's -- nobody's talking about censoring the book. Nobody's talking about banning the book or burning the book or anything.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Sir, would you please be respectful of the other people?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Like you're respectful of my daughter, right? And my children. You put this book out. Why don't we read the notice that was put out?
What are you charging me with?
POLICE OFFICER: You're under arrest for disorderly conduct.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Disorderly conduct?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Because he broke the two-minute rule?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: Come on, K.G. --
GUTFELD: Two-minute rule.
GUILFOYLE: I mean, honestly. I have to check to say where am I? What are my coordinates? Longitude and latitude. Are we in America?
Why can't he speak up at a parent conference like that or a meeting and say what he thinks? And by the way, I wrote to my son's school when he came home with "captain underpants" and the potty pan whoever book. I'm like no wonder he can't read.
GUTFELD: That was my book.
GUILFOYLE: That was your book? He borrowed it from you from the Gutfeld library?
But he has to be able to speak up and I like the parents paying attention and looking at what's happening in the classroom, what kind of books are being taught, what they're giving as reading material.
BOLLING: Can you believe this? Can you believe they arrest a guy for --
BECKEL: Yes. I hope he gets -- I hope he gets a big heavy fine.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh.
BECKEL: Look, there are rules in these school board meetings. This guy went over -- this book had been out before in his school, the year before. He's shooting his mouth off. He doesn't like -- there are ways to go about doing this and you don't have to sit there and interrupt and act like a total jerk. And I think he's right to be arrested.
BOLLING: I think you are all for protests and sit-ins and things like that.
BECKEL: Not if you're a father --
BOLLING: Oh, because it's a school --
BECKEL: Would you do that?
BOLLING: If my kid had to read a raunchy book, absolutely.
GUILFOYLE: Absolutely. Me too. I'd be carried out.
BOLLING: Dana, your thoughts on this. Should he have been arrested?
PERINO: Well, I think -- no, I don't think he should be arrested. Especially when they said he broke the two-minute rule.
GUILFOYLE: That's so silly.
GUTFELD: You do that all the time.
PERINO: Once they had removed him from the classroom and they said we are going to arrest you, they could have just said you know what, why don't you just -- if he would have left, if he would have just been willing to leave, which he probably would have done at that point, they wouldn't have had to arrest him.
GUTFELD: You know what this is? You can't blame the dad, bob, because he's watching a world that has become completely antagonistic toward his values as a parent. It's as though he no longer has control over what is being fed to his kids when he's not there. And this march toward whatever it is, it's unquestioned by the media and by the schools.
It's a small protest that he's arrested. But he's one man shouting enough. And I think that's symbolic of something. And I don't know what it is. But he's shouting stop in the name of -- to progress that he feels --
BECKEL: How about this for a reasonable person? Why not organize other parents to make a protest?
BOLLING: That's what that was.
BECKEL: He interrupted the school board meeting?
BOLLING: No. It was a meeting for that specific reason. He was doing what he was supposed to. He's being a good father.
GUILFOYLE: And he wasn't even out of control.
BOLLING: How about this one, finally? K.D. is a superstar athlete. K.D. is a good guy too, especially off the court. Check out Kevin Durant accepting the NBA's highest honor, this year's most valuable player.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KEVIN DURANT, NBA'S MVP: You made us believe. You kept us off the street. You put clothes on our back, food on the table.
When you didn't eat, you made sure we ate. You went to sleep hungry. You sacrificed for us. You're the real MVP.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: A couple days before mother's day.
BECKEL: If there just were more athletes like that. I mean, I -- it's heartwarming to see it. A lot of people, a lot of athletes talk about their mother. But that was quite a way to do it, you know. And the MVP award, he could have said a lot of other things about his teammates.
He talked about his mother. And I think that's wonderful.
GUILFOYLE: I love it. I'm emotional. Dana's emotional.
I think it's incredible. He's a great role model. God bless his mom for doing such a wonderful job. I think single moms, they have a hard time and --
BOLLING: He's the real deal, too. He means every word he said.
PERINO: I don't know what else to say. I think he's amazing and I'm glad he said it.
BOLLING: Yes, deserving.
GUTFELD: You should always thank your mom. You'll never see that in a pro-choice video. I'd like to thank my mom, but I'm not here.
GUILFOYLE: Ay, ay, ay. Really?
PERINO: That's true.
GUTFELD: Yes. I wish I could be here to thank my mom.
GUTFELD: I would thank my mom, but I'm not here.
BECKEL: In a pro-choice video.
BOLLING: All right. We'll leave it right there.
On that note --
BECKEL: I can't believe it but I get it.
BOLLING: We'll show you how the mainstream media has been helping President Obama to push his primary agenda. Greg's on deck with that.
GUILFOYLE: You loved that. You loved it.
GUTFELD: The science is settled: If we don't something now, we're all going to die.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Each day that's as close as we are going to get to this fire.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Even more extreme. That's the basis for the new National Climate Assessment report.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Torrential rain, flooding, heat waves, drought and wildfires. It's all getting worse.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: On the heels of America's warmest decade, more heat waves and periods of severe drought.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: All these are set to be more severe, according to the latest National Climate Assessment put out by the White House Tuesday.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: That's the media's loving take on the White House's new climate change report. I'm telling you, the incestuous bond between the media and Obama makes Norman Bates's crush seem wholesome.
So why does this report call for a course of panic? To beat you into cowering submission so your wallet is more easily lifted? Perhaps.
Or it could be that the data just isn't enough. The computer models have failed, as most predictions flunked (ph). The prior hysteria didn't help. They put politics before science, so trust is essentially dead.
The scientists used to embrace skepticism. It helped them shake the truth. But global warmers marshal only those who agree to ostracize the rest. It's intellectual bullying by governmentand media together that's meant to silence those who do not perish.
The panic, the doomsday rhetoric, is so in sync, with suffocating superiority that you're a leper just by questioning it. I'm one now.
See, the media used to ask questions. Now they're a megaphone for their masters on everything from climate change to gun control, Benghazi, ObamaCare to the IRS. Which leaves only one real question left: What can the average person do when he's this outdone? Where do you go when no one speaks for you? The beach? We've got the weather for it.
Bob, we go back and forth over this. It really is about how do you have a reasoned debate when it seems like the debate is kind of poisoned? There's like -- they think we're dumb, or they think I'm dumb. I just want to ask questions, but they say if you ask questions you are a truther.
BECKEL: Well, listen, first of all, those of us, and myself included, who believe in global warming, I was glad to see this report. I was glad to see that it was supported by as much scientific data as it was and was supported by a lot of people in the business community.
But having said that, there is a debate on the other side. What I'd like to see is people who don't think global warming is a big deal to get together a group of scientists, people with substantial reasons to sit down and have a debate.
GUTFELD: I would love to see a debate.
BECKEL: OK. But the idea that somehow we sit back here, and we're doing this, that the media got together with Obama to fake global warming is absolutely ridiculous.
GUTFELD: I didn't say that. I said they climb -- they just climbed into bed with the assumptions. Assumptions based on climate models that have been deeply flawed.
BECKEL: Well, these scientists did not all get together and decide to screw people over.
GUTFELD: This thing has been rewritten politically time and time again.
BOLLING: So the climate report has now changed. It used to be global warming. Then it became climate change. And now it's called climate disorder. Because I guess they have to, you know, frame the discussion the right way. The media, the lapdog media, OK, great, no problem.
Meanwhile, the guy is the co-founder of the Weather Channel. Did you hear about this? Called this report agenda-driven and a total distortion of data. The guy who co-founded the Weather Channel called this report...
BECKEL: That doesn't interest me very much.
BOLLING: OK. Nothing will impress you. How about this one, Bob? Polar ice is up 50 percent versus last year. Was it anywhere in that report?
BECKEL: They just had the biggest ice melt in the...
BOLLING: Polar ice is up 50 percent versus last year.
BOLLING: Ninety percent of it is multiyear ice.
BECKEL: Where are you checking that out?
BOLLING: All right. Look it up.
GUILFOYLE: But the problem is, I mean, obviously, there's a political agenda behind this. It's part of the whole war on coal. War on fossil fuel. And this is what they need. They have to have something to drive their agenda. This is the vehicle they choose. But they don't have the science and the facts to back it up.
BECKEL: Do you really believe -- do you really believe that these scientists and others are making this up?
GUILFOYLE: Yes. They don't pay me extra to say that. Put it that way.
GUTFELD: But that's the thing. When -- with this debate, and you say OK, there are flaws in these computer models. There -- there are things wrong with your data, they go, "You can't really believe it's not happening." We never say climate -- climate does change. We know that.
PERINO: Yes. So if you're not -- if you're not part of the consensus, then you're outside and you can't be part of the cool group.
PERINO: And they think you're delusional. They might say flat earth -- the usually reasonable Dana Perino is absolutely off her rocker on climate change.
Here's the question also on the policy side of things. President Obama all of a sudden now in his sixth year of presidency, this is going to be his big push? But where's the legislative push? Where is the proposal? Where is the vote in the Senate on a climate change proposal? Well, guess what? They're putting politics ahead of their science, apparently because they don't want to have to take that vote.
BECKEL: You have a good idea. Maybe with the people who don't think that this is right, you ought to get an equally substantial group of people...
BOLLING: They do.
BECKEL: ... and then sit down, have the two of them sit down and challenge -- let them challenge the people who wrote this report. And let me hear a scientist on your side and a scientist on my side, have that debate. It would be very interesting. I just don't hear it.
All I keep hearing you say is agenda driven. It's politics. It's this, it's that. In the meantime, it's getting -- it's beginning to affect the world in a horrible way. But...
BOLLING: Which way?
BECKEL: Which way?
BECKEL: Your idea that...
BECKEL: Your idea that the ice has grown 50 percent...
BOLLING: Horrible way.
BECKEL: Your idea that...
GUTFELD: There's a very depressed polar bear.
BECKEL: It's so ridiculous that it's like saying...
BOLLING: Before you go bonkers on that one, just look it up.
GUTFELD: I saw a polar bear in Florida, and he was depressed. He was sad.
PERINO: Oh, no. Did you help him?
GUTFELD: Or it might have been Michael Moore in a fur coat. I'm not sure. OK. We've got to move on. You could call it highway robbery. Lawmakers in California are thinking about taxing motorists on every mile they drive. Dana has the details coming up.
PERINO: America's drivers already pay big bucks for gas and tolls, and in California they could start paying for every mile they drive pretty soon.
State lawmakers are considering a voluntary tax for motorists on each mile their vehicle goes. And I just want to show you one clip from a California motorist who thinks this is not a very good idea.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KIM ROBINSON, CALIFORNIA MOTORIST: I'm very opposed. I drive to Brentwood every day from Burbank, and I just -- I mean, I'm already paying more than I should be.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: Eric, I want to go to you first, because we ended up talking about this yesterday. I was curious about what I see as three problems.
That voluntary. What does that possibly mean? Rural communities getting -- I can't say that word.
PERINO: Yes. Thank you.
And three, tracking. The tracking. Once you tell the government where you're going, then the government will know.
BOLLING: And that's the only way you can keep track of it, is by some sort of GPS system. So the issue is voluntary. That would go away right away.
The other issue is five cents a gallon is what they're proposing in California. In essence, you have a car that gets 20 miles to a gallon. You're increasing the gallon price by a dollar a gallon, and it's another tax on top of the highest taxes in the country.
But here's the reason why they're doing this. As cars get bigger and better gas mileage per government mandates and trucks and other vehicles, their tax revenues for gasoline -- gas taxes, diesel taxes -- are going down. They have to figure out how to make up for that lost revenue. And so what they're going to do is eventually implement a miles-driven tax.
Now, if it were strictly miles driven, then maybe you could go along with it. But you have a federal tax; you have the state tax; you have other highway -- you have other taxes. And this is just going to be another tax.
PERINO: I could actually agree, Bob, that we do need to invest more in our roads. I could be for that. But do you think that this is a serious solution? Or would it ever fly? Are we wasting our time having a debate about this?
BECKEL: If I could just say this from...
PERINO: Don't ruin my blog.
BECKEL: ... Arctic (ph). OK, the -- I think Eric's got a point here. They're now getting cars with higher mileage. They're not getting as much tax revenue, and they need to make that up.
And the voluntary thing. I can't believe many people are voluntarily going to pay this.
GUILFOYLE: It's crazy.
BECKEL: But the thing about voluntary that worries me is voluntary is very close to mandatory in these things. And that's the thing that's got me worried.
PERINO: Plus, Kimberly, you're a former California resident. There's people that live in the city -- If you live in the middle of San Francisco, you probably aren't driving the interstate system very much.
PERINO: But if you...
GUILFOYLE: In Los Angeles...
PERINO: You need a commute because you want to put your kid in a better school so you're willing to commute, then you're the one that ends up paying for people to subsidize them in the city.
GUILFOYLE: So does that formula make a lot of sense to you, Dana?
GUILFOYLE: It does not.
GUILFOYLE: Good answer. You can continue the block.
PERINO: OK, good. I have a question for Greg about tracking.
PERINO: We just had this big debate about the NSA and whether or not you can track Americans and their phone calls. But should we allow the government to know where we're driving? I mean, are we going to allow that?
GUTFELD: I don't know, Dana. It's a good question.
PERINO: Thank you.
GUTFELD: Can I answer a different question?
PERINO: What question would you like me to ask?
GUTFELD: All right. If you want to save California, you tax hypocrisy. Because what they're doing right now is they're punishing the population for doing exactly what the government told them to do, which was conserve gasoline and oil by getting fuel-efficient cars.
So they go and do that, and what do they do? OK. Now we're going to tax the roads. You don't -- by the way, there's no such thing as a voluntary tax. It's like voluntary diarrhea.
GUTFELD: Nobody opts for it. You know what this is?
PERINO: That's not exactly...
GUTFELD: I know a few models.
No, you know what this is? This is the same model the government is doing with smoking and why they're attacking vaping. Because smoking, they get taxes From cigarettes. People started to stop smoking. So they got less taxes. They look at vaping, which saves lives, and they're going, boy, there are going to be less smokers, less dying, less taxes. We need to stop the vaping. Vaping to them is bad because they lose money.
BECKEL: Can you believe that in Oregon and Washington state you have this voluntary program in place where people actually do pay...
PERINO: But they have this complicated rebate system so that if you volunteer then you can get some sort of a rebate thing taken off.
BECKEL: Oh, I see.
PERINO: So that's why people do it.
All right. That was spirited.
OK. Ahead a big birthday today for one of "The Five's" favorite people. People, people. We're going to tell you who, coming up.
MUSIC: .".. going to get me high."
BECKEL: Yes, get me high.
Last night was the first primary test for what type of candidates the Republican Party will put up this November.
A couple headlines tell the story of the results. From Politico: "Tuesday's Takeaways: GOP Establishment Prevails." And from the New York Times, "Establishment Republicans See Victory in the Senate Vote."
As an unofficial adviser to Republicans, of course, I have been recommending they keep away from the Tea Party, and it upsets me that they've actually listened.
Eric, I've said this often. You disagree with it. The Tea Party is becoming less and less of a factor in American politics. Do you think that any of this is a portrayal of that?
BOLLING: Well, I think there still is a far right and a -- let's call it -- centrist right divide, you know, that's going on. So last night North Carolina was an interesting race. Everyone was keeping their eye on it. And the more establishment-type candidate won.
However, you have to say let's do it this way. There's been a good influence on all the candidates. All of them are becoming better candidates because of the divide. We need to find the one that finds the nice mix between the two. The Tea Party has definitely influenced some establishment and so have the libertarians. And I think whoever ends up, you know, being able to encompass all three of those groups, the big party, the big tent, will win race after race.
PERINO: I am not falling, and I don't think any Republican out there should. Do not fall for the media's characterization of the Republicans.
The two headlines that you cite are from Politico and the New York Times. It helps them if there is a Republican divide. So why do they put establishment in the headline? To try to mix it up a little bit.
If you dig a little deeper, Thom Tillis, who won the Republican primary last night, actually, his polling showed that he appealed to both, to a wide range of Republicans.
So it could be that what you're saying is right, that Republicans have figured out some good candidates that can appeal to both and been influenced well. The other thing is it shows that there was a lot of enthusiasm last night, a lot of voters out there.
I just want to say Taylor Griffin gave it a real college try down there in North Carolina. He tried to primary Walter Jones, and he lost, but I really admire him for trying to run.
BECKEL: Do it again, kid. Walter's ready to go to his just reward. Go ahead.
GUILFOYLE: That was sort of nice, helpful advice.
I thought this was kind of exciting. I think what Dana's saying is right. And I think the Democrats would be mistaken if they tried to count out the Republicans and say there's a divide. They're not going to sit out the midterms. There's too much at stake. It's all about getting those seats. And this was indicative, in my opinion, that there is going to be a marshaling of effort and energy and, you know, campaign focus to be able to do this, to get the seats. If they don't do it now, I don't think they're going to be in a good position for 2016.
BECKEL: Greg, you went down there and volunteered, didn't you?
GUTFELD: Yes. I just always enjoy how the media loves to diminish the importance of the Tea Party. When you think about, consider their mere image in the last three years, which was Occupy Wall Street. Tea Party at least issued some principles. Occupy Wall Street just dropped poop on the street.
BECKEL: No, not all of them. "One More Thing" is up next.
GUILFOYLE: How charming.
GUILFOYLE: It's time now for "One More Thing." Bob.
BECKEL: Let's take a look at one of my favorite people, Miley Cyrus's latest video.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MILEY CYRUS, SINGER: You know, weed has never killed anybody. You guys know that, right?
The minute I started rolling all these joints, and I didn't smoke cigarettes anymore, I could get any guy and girl to (EXPLETIVE DELETED) make out. I wish cigarettes didn't kill people because I would (EXPLETIVE DELETED) smoke them all day because they are so delicious. But weed is much better, and weed won't kill you.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BECKEL: Well, the optimal sentence there is "The minute I stopped smoking these joints -- stopped smoking then started joints, I could get any guy and girl to kiss me." That says about all that needs to be said.
GUILFOYLE: I don't know, really, where to go from there.
BOLLING: OK. Here's something really funny. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What's one shocking thing about you that your kids don't know.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: That I like dope. And I like to smoke.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: My kids don't know that I adopted them. Just kidding.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I mud wrestled naked when I was in my high school.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: She did not know that?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: Jimmy Kimmel last night. Awesome.
GUILFOYLE: He's funny.
PERINO: I don't know what I would say. Jasper knows everything about me.
Lynn Cheney, she wasn't on FOX last night to talk about Monica Lewinsky. She was on to talk about her new book about James Madison. Let me just tell you, the "Publishers Weekly" review: "Meticulously researched, richly detailed, authoritative, conversational, certainly confident in its analysis."
She's worked on this for five years. If you want to learn about one of our amazing Founding Fathers, take a look at this really great new book.
Greg is already taking my advice.
GUTFELD: It's amazing.
GUILFOYLE: He's looking for the footnote.
GUTFELD: I'm looking for the very last -- this is cheating. She has 100 pages of footnotes.
PERINO: That's why it's meticulously researched.
GUTFELD: Banned phrase: "It's the blank, stupid." All right. This was said, Bob, what, like, 20-some-odd years ago.
BECKEL: Yes, in 1992.
GUTFELD: It's still being used. And I can't believe I haven't banned this already. Stop it, lazy headline writers. Please. It's annoying. It's the stupid headline, stupid, of all time.
GUILFOYLE: That was interesting. All right. So we have something kind of sweet and charming to do. And it's a happy birthday, baby, to Brian Kilmeade...
GUILFOYLE: ... who is very youthful and is turning the big 5-0 today. Can you believe that?
GUTFELD: Wow. He must eat meerkat blood.
GUILFOYLE: I don't think he eats meerkats.
GUTFELD: No, it's meerkat blood.
BOLLING: Are you referring to the birthday cake incident this morning?
BECKEL: What happened?
BOLLING: Oh, it was great. You didn't see?
GUILFOYLE: We missed it.
BOLLING: Elizabeth Hasselbeck was bringing a birthday cake out to Brian as a surprise, and someone came out of the crowd and took the cake and smashed it on himself. This is not -- I'm not making this up. You didn't see this?
GUTFELD: Where was this?
BECKEL: What do you mean?
GUTFELD: It's way too early for me. I'm doing my charity work with the kids.
GUILFOYLE: All right. Well, don't forget to set your DVR so you never miss an episode of "The Five." We're going to see you back here tomorrow.
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