This is a rush transcript from "The Five," January 10, 2014. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Greg Gutfeld, along with Andrea Tantaros, Bob Beckel, Eric Bolling, and she sprinkles lady bugs on Corn Flakes --
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Yummy.
GUTFELD: -- it's Dana Perino.
This is "The Five."
GUTFELD: All right. It's day two of the Christie scandal, and he still hasn't apologized. Oh, wait, he did.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GOV. CHRIS CHRISTIE (R), NEW JERSEY: I come out here today to apologize to the people of New Jersey.
All I can do is apologize. I'm just going to apologize, I think that's all you can do. I apologize to the people of New Jersey today and I apologize specifically to the people of Fort Lee and to apologize to folks. So, I'm going to do that.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Well, that apology wasn't good enough. Oh, wait, the Fort Lee mayor accepted it.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MAYOR MARK SOKOLICH (D), FORT LEE, NJ: I accepted his apology.
REPORTER: Are you glad he came?
SOKOLICH: I'm glad he came. I'm glad he came.
REPORTER: Do you believe him that he didn't have anything to do with it?
SOKOLICH: I take him for his word, which is he had nothing to do with it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: OK. So, what do we do now, dear media? Do we keep chasing a rabbit we already caught? The rabbit we skinned, blackened and washed down with your favorite merlot. We have given the story 44 times more coverage than the IRS scandal, and the Gates book is already old news.
Don't get me wrong, Christie is worth covering, but now you've awakened from journalistic hibernation, there must be battered bunnies out there to chase -- like all the stuff the White House has never said sorry for before, you know, like Fast and Furious, Solyndra, the GSA, Tony Rezko, Geithner's tax dodge, hiring Eric Holder. Silence.
The only thing President Obama apologized for is that people were dumb enough to believe him about ObamaCare. And what of hiding disasters like ObamaCare, Benghazi, the DOJ and the IRS to save an election. The White House is better at covering up things than Maybelline.
So, Obama has given us more flubs than a blooper real. Thanks, of course, to an adoring media, coddled more than the royal baby, Obama never has to face his mistakes, which is why he makes so many.
So, it's no surprise the media now pivots to Christie to prevent itself from becoming its own lame duck dynasty.
It's another win for O., who may never ever apologize, and really, why should he? Do you want sorry? The sorriest people ever are those who voted for him, twice.
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: How could you have come up with a bigger hack opening than that? That was unbelievable.
GUTFELD: I took a Christie scandal and I turned it into an Obama --
BECKEL: Nobody has heard about Tony Rezko for years.
GUTFELD: I know.
BECKEL: Why didn't you put Reverend Wright on there?
GUTFELD: I didn't have time. By the way, I could have had Bill Ayers.
BECKEL: Yes, you could have.
GUTFELD: So much to choose from, Bob.
BECKEL: Hawaii, the $2 million.
GUTFELD: The cocaine.
PERINO: How about that plane that they sent over New York? Remember that?
GUTFELD: By the way, what did he close? Obama closed the D.C. monument, he closed the National Park. He didn't just close the freeway.
BECKEL: No, no, the Republicans in Congress voted to close the government.
ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: No, that was done as payback as well.
GUTFELD: I do admit, though, Bob, that was a very hack kneed monologue, but I'm proud of it because it's right.
Look at Andrea because she didn't have a chance to comment. Here's the thing -- so, it's going to be thousands of pages that are going to be dropping from the sky, documents, God knows what's in there. But it only needs one, one e-mail or one little thing and the whole thing explodes like something.
TANTAROS: It has to prove that Chris Christie knew about this and either OK'd it or it came from him. Or it's the alternative, which is what he said yesterday, that this staffer, who either had a nervous breakdown, or is a complete megalomaniac, which is by the way what they're saying --
TANTAROS: That she was drunk with power, acted on her own. If something comes out in those emails, Greg, yes, he's in real trouble.
TANTAROS: But I have seen this story before in politics. You have a big rising star as a boss. You have somebody who has extreme power. And the staff assumes the persona of that person. And it's oftentimes gets a bigger ego. And so, they oftentimes become vindictive.
I mean, look, I've had my own run-ins with the Christie staff, OK? And I'm someone who has been an ally to them. There's a perceived person in his operation that doesn't like me that shut me out, wouldn't comment and do talk radio, even when Christie said he was willing to come on numerous times.
There's some attitude going on, and it's a culture that I think is systemic in not just his staff, but it happens a lot in politics. And I think this is -- this is a perfect example of a staff that needs to get their -- not all of them -- but their egos in check.
GUTFELD: Yes. I mean, I think -- in a way, you're also talking about Dana Perino, who has the same issue.
TANTAROS: I was exactly talking about Dana Perino.
GUTFELD: Yes. I mean, just an awful human being. You know what I noticed? I was watching another network that I won't name, but they found it -- they found it -- they were skeptical about that woman. They called her a lady, that that lady would have been responsible for this, which I thought was quite sexist.
PERINO: Because there's -- you know, the Republican men are waging a war on women --
PERINO: I actually wouldn't be surprised if there were more people who came out to try to defend her, and all of a sudden, she'll be running for Senate.
PERINO: The media hates acceptance of an apology, because then the story stops.
PERINO: Right. In the press gaggle yesterday where the Fort Lee mayor was being a stand-up, gracious, smart public servant, he's saying, yes, I accept his apology. Yes, I accept his explanation.
And they're like, really, no. Come on, we have been standing here for hours. Can't you give us more to talk about?
Eric, this isn't going to end, obviously. What do you predict happen?
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: I think there's a thousand -- literally a thousand pages that they're piling through right now, of documents.
GUTFELD: They won't read it, though?
TANTAROS: They will.
GUTFELD: They won't read the ObamaCare bill, but they'll read --
BOLLING: They'll read this. If there is one (INAUDIBLE) Chris Christie, if there's one innuendo that he knew about it, he's in deep do- do.
But here's what I perceive happening. So, the media loves it because it did one thing. Yes, Chris Christie is a big name, big politician. I don't think -- I think the media actually likes Chris Christie. I think the mainstream media actually likes this guy because he did the bear hug with President Obama.
But the most important thing that the media has done this week is distance President Obama from Gates' book. Gates' book comes out on Monday. It's all everyone is talking about. It shows that President Obama and Hillary Clinton -- well, Hillary Clinton had her opinion developed about war strategy based on politics. Obama sent 30,000 of our kids into battle based on something he didn't necessarily believe, didn't trust his commanders.
And so, that was bad. That was damning. This is going to go big, become bigger. It's going to be, you know, grow upon itself, and then the Christie stuff. Wow, this is a great opportunity for us to pivot from President Obama, to take the attention away from that, and let's look at a Republican.
I will tell you, though, this Gates stuff, it keeps making more and more coming up.
PERINO: Well, there's a "60 Minutes" interview on Sunday.
BECKEL: You should get the Gates book and just read it verbatim on the show. Every time you have a question, you say, I'm not answering that and go to page 68, and keep reading.
BOLLING: You know, Bob, it's not OK President Obama sent 30,000 of our kids into harm's way and later said that he wasn't sure about the politics. Could you imagine being one of those parents sending your kid to war and then the president of the United States says, I'm not sure it's the right strategy?
BECKEL: I can't say absolutely, but I would just imagine every president sends people off to war at some point has doubts in their minds about it.
BOLLING: No, no, not only doubts, expressed in front of Gates and Hillary Clinton that he developed his Iraq strategy based on politics. Wow.
BECKEL: That was back during the campaign. It's not when he was president of the United States.
BOLLING: No, Bob, he also said that in front of Gates that he wasn't sure of his strategy after he sent people in.
BECKEL: Have you had any of the positives things, a lot of them, that Gates says about Obama.
BOLLING: No, he does say a lot of positive things.
BECKEL: He does.
PERINO: The new excerpt that came out today from Gates' book that just recently was released a few hours ago that I read, it's not so flattering about President Obama. There are some things, including one of them being a topper that Gates thinks Obama made the right decisions.
So, he's your commander in chief. That's really -- that's the most important thing. Did you make the best decisions? Right. Are the politics messy along the way?
This recent excerpt shows just how politically minded the White House was in all of the meetings, even with Gates, and then also just shows what I think everyone assumed, but it confirms how thin-skinned the president and his team are with dealing with the military and even suggested, "Do they not respect me?" That kind of language is not attractive.
BECKEL: Why don't you do your monologue on Gates' book?
BECKEL: All we're talking about is Gates' book, you should have done your monologue about Gates' book.
GUTFELD: I actually want to go to Andrea if we can talk to her about what really matters right now, which is, of course, "The Bachelor", which started a few days.
TANTAROS: I'm so into one.
GUTFELD: Yes, I know, who isn't? Chris Harrison, is that his name? Was on "The View" talking about this very controversy with our lovely companions over there.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: People died because of this!
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No, no, wait. Let's back up. First of all, the liberals are just foaming at the mouth. They could -- this is like porn for them. They're so excited to finally get at this guy, which we don't know anything about.
They're accusing him of murder already. It's like, easy big fella.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Andrea, this guy just came out, not in the traditional sense of coming out, but he just came out as a non-liberal by doing that.
TANTAROS: It's harder to come out as a non-liberal than the other thing. If I had a rose, Greg, he would get the final rose, Chris Harrison. In the dramatic rose ceremony ever. I bet they did not expect that from him.
TANTAROS: It's extremely true. And even with the Gates book, again, as Dana said, I think a lot of people knew President Obama did it for politics, right, he didn't want to lose Afghanistan on his watch. So, he continued to prop up a kleptocracy for his benefit, but people died.
When Whoopi Goldberg said, people died, that was the appropriate response for Benghazi. That is what they should have said with Benghazi. When there's a scandal on the Democratic side, people lose their lives. This Chris Christie thing pales in comparison to the other scandal.
BECKEL: Oh, oh.
TANTAROS: It's still important because we don't know what the payback was for. That's still a mystery, what was that for? But it's not the IRS scandal. It's not "The A.P." scandal.
TANTAROS: All of the other scandals really dwarf bridge-gate.
GUTFELD: Well, let me just that and Chris Christie is a rising political figure. It's not surprising at all he's going to get this much coverage, and there are people buying it. There were 20 kids on a bus who got asphyxiated --
GUTFELD: Oh, stop it. This didn't work yesterday. It didn't happen. You dreamt this.
BOLLING: We were number one in the ratings last night. Maybe because when you said that, everyone went, what is he saying? Kids on a bus that died?
GUTFELD: What about the lawsuits that are springing from this? Is that going to be an issue? I don't know.
PERINO: A lot of time and a lot of taxpayer money for a really stupid political decision by staffers of Chris Christie who have now been fired. Can I mention one thing about the guy Chris, the bachelor guy?
PERINO: I think what he did on the view when he surprised them is he expressed what we were talking about yesterday, with most people not identifying with the Republican or the liberal, or the Democrat party, and because they just don't see things in such black and white ways -- I mean, Whoopi Goldberg is basically saying that Chris Christie killed people, and he's like, wait, hold on. That's not right.
And even -- and for people on the right who were trying to, you know, defend Christie without actually looking at the facts first, I think that's why people are starting to pull away, and somebody like Chris -- what's his name?
PERINO: He's very cute.
TANTAROS: Whoo --
PERINO: That's what people were thinking.
BECKEL: Democratic Party.
BOLLING: This is a guy who left his wife for one of the contestants?
TANTAROS: He can still be cute.
BOLLING: Observing something.
BOLLING: When Chris Christie became the darling of the left with the whole Obama thing around hurricane Sandy, they were just fawning over this guy from hurricane Sandy all the way through the election. Now, you see these liberals on talk shows, they don't know where to go with it. They don't know if they should trash Chris Christie because they loved him or trash because now, he's a Republican or trash him because now he's a potential Republican 2016.
TANTAROS: They will never really love Chris Christie. They will never really Chris Christie because he has an "R" behind his name. It was all phony.
The minute he runs against a Democrat in a real sense like a Hillary, they're going to kill him. We sat on the New Year's show and I predicted, they're going to go after him. They're going to call him a bully.
The cover of "USA Today", "I am not a bully" -- when you're explaining in politics you're not a bully, you're losing, and we're only nine days in. I mean, they're set to get him in a big way.
BECKEL: Well, where he gets the reputation of being a bully because he was a bully.
TANTAROS: Stronger than a storm. OK. He proved and his staff proved they are stronger than a storm. That was their slogan in New Jersey.
BECKEL: Stronger than a storm?
TANTAROS: Stronger than a storm.
PERINO: Don't you know the song?
TANTAROS: It's the campaign.
GUTFELD: You know, to Eric's point, it is about removing the strongest contender for Hillary. I think that's what it is.
But the other thing, too, if you noticed last night, a lot of the coverage of Christie was about his weight. Almost every late night talk show talked about how fat he was.
And I wonder -- I was talking to Bernie from the Imus show, and he said, if Hillary gains weight, I mean, is that OK? Is that OK? You can't. Double standard. Christie's fat, we get it.
All right. Ahead on "The Five", a Facebook free-for-all. Send us your questions for us now at Facebook.com/TheFiveFNC. We'll answer what you ask us, I guess.
Plus, if you're wondering what the football players at next month's Super Bowl are going to be wearing, which I do all the time, we're going to show you. We got the clothes here. Pretty exciting.
BOLLING: Welcome back to the fastest seven minutes in TV news. Three exceptional stories, seven evanescent minutes, one effervescent host.
PERINO: And a partridge in a pear tree.
BOLLING: First up, Justin Bieber earned him spot in the fastest seven again. Check out the little pop star getting angry, bad neighbor style. Watch the eggs fly and listen to the voice in the background, which is alleged to be the Biebs.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JUSTIN BEIEBER (allegedly): I see you. I (EXPLETIVE DELETED) see you. (EXPLETIVE DELETED) Hey (EXPLETIVE DELETED) you.
I got another one for you, actually.
UNIDENTIFIED SPEAKER: Hi, I'd like to place an assault.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: All right. So that allegedly is Bieber in the background, egging, I guess the neighbor's house or the neighbor's car.
GUTFELD: I love the fact, I'm placing an assault, like you're placing an order for Chinese food.
PERINO: I love assault. It's delicious.
GUTFELD: Exactly. So this is really tragic because Justin Bieber's music is so great. I kid. It's terrible. This guy is Leif Garrett without a spine. He's Bobby Sherman without guts. He's David Cassidy with a uterus.
BOLLING: I have to think -- I have to think if you're Justin Bieber, you don't get yourself into situations like this.
PERINO: If I was Justin Bieber?
BOLLING: Dana Perino, would you egg a neighbor's house?
PERINO: I would never egg a neighbor's house.
Do you remember when I was a country music deejay, from 2:00 to 6:00 a.m. on Public Colorado, one night, you think nobody is listening to you. All of a sudden, there were eggs being thrown against the window, right by my face, like 3:00 in the morning. Very humiliating.
GUTFELD: I'm sorry about that.
PERINO: I did therapy. I just needed to get that out because I have been embarrassed about it for years.
BOLLING: Bb, you love the Biebs. Your thoughts?
BECKEL: I don't really love the guy. I've egged my neighbor's house and still do. This kid is getting himself into one thing after another after another. It's a classic pattern of a kid who was allowed to run wild and got too much attention too quickly. I actually feel sorry for him in some ways. I think this is just the beginning of the spiral down because as Greg pointed out, I'm not sure his music is going to carry him for the next 10 years, right?
TANTAROS: He said he was going to retire, and then he said just kidding -- got me excited for a little bit.
I don't know if I should judge him on this because I did as an adult toilet paper a man's car and my almost --
BECKEL: Why? Because he dumped you.
TANTAROS: No, no, it was our campaign manager's husband. We were working on a campaign. Also, I almost played ding-dong ditch with my nephews last week, but I didn't do it.
BECKEL: Ding-dong ditch?
TANTAROS: Ding-dong ditch, Bob.
BOLLING: We've got to move on. Ditch with the D.
Next up, something you may not have known. Dan rather used heroin. Well, tried heroin, you know, for a story research.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Dan Rather in 1955, you tried heroin as part of a story. What did you experience while high?
DAN RATHER, TV ANCHOR: Otherworldly.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Did you ever want to go back to it?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: OK.
RATHER: Let the record show, did this in the police station, under police supervision, which is the one and only time I ever want to do it. It gave me a hell of a headache.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: That's going all out, a lot of research for this.
BECKEL: First of all, I can't imagine a cop shop is going to let somebody come in and hit up heroin. A, they don't know if it's a hot shot or not. The guy has never done it before. They're going to let him shoot heroin.
BOLLING: What is a hot shot?
BECKEL: Hot shot is a very strong heroin, it kills people, because they can't take it. But the idea they do it at a police station is crazy. And the other thing is frankly, I have had little experience with this, very little, but I would not describe it as otherworldly. I would describe acid as otherworldly, but this is exactly the opposite way you would feel.
TANTAROS: Well, his explanation was, and I love watch what happened live, he was doing it as part of a story. Is that what we're calling a story now? He didn't just want to report on the story. He wanted to be part of the story.
Bob, you wanted to be part of the story to the '70s, '80s, part of the '90s.
TANTAROS: He also hallucinated. He had a flashback, and he hallucinated George Bush's military resume.
BOLLING: Where are we going with this one?
GUTFELD: This revelation is meant to be edgy, coming from a journalist. If he really wanted to become brave, he should have said he voted for Reagan or said that he supported the Vietnam War or maybe that he was a Republican. Say you tried heroin gives you strange new respect to score cool points, but it's stupid.
PERINO: Well, I have one thing to say, which is I doubt the story because heroin does not give you a headache.
BOLLING: And you know this.
PERINO: For a story.
BECKEL: I tell you what happens in the horse barns out there, you know?
PERINO: Does it give you a headache?
BOLLING: OK. Let's do this. It's Friday, let's have fun here.
A couple ladies taking dives. One on purpose, one not so much. First, the rarely seen face to groin dive. Watch.
(VIDEO CLIP PLAYS)
BOLLING: Now, check out the gal who really, really didn't want that speeding ticket.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
OFFICER: She's going to jump in the river.
She just jumped in the river.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: So what happened was she ditched. She was in a stolen car, but she had a long rap sheet, and she's fine. She jumped the car, she's fine.
BECKEL: Why do you keep coming to me every time there's something --
BOLLING: I just love it.
BECKEL: Because I had a little experience.
GUTFELD: You had experience in both. Before you do this, let's do the "Price is Right" one more time, face to groin.
(VIDEO CLIP PLAYS)
PERINO: He's a model that's showing the displays. They have male ones now.
BOLLING: Is that right?
BOLLING: A male model?
PERINO: I think so. The guy showing the display.
BECKEL: He's going to be speaking in a squeaky voice.
BOLLING: He laid down for a little bit.
BECKEL: She was not some -- this was not a thin model.
PERINO: That wasn't a model. That was a contestant.
If I had ever won the price is right, I would definitely have done something -- I would have had the same type of reaction.
BECKEL: You would be blushing for years.
TANTAROS: I really just hoped he used Dial.
BOLLING: Oh, goodness. No one wants to talk about the jumper off the bridge.
GUTFELD: Interesting, she landed on a camel and made her way to Utah, so it was a happy ending.
BOLLING: It's not surprising. If you have a rap sheet, you've got a stolen car, you're going to try to get out of the situation.
PERINO: That's extreme, though.
GUTFELD: She must have known the area, because she must have known that was a short bridge.
BOLLING: She left the car.
TANTAROS: Or she didn't want to live anymore.
GUTFELD: That's the kind of analysis on "The Five".
BOLLING: On Friday, after a long week.
We're going to go now. Coming up, 120-pound mother of four attempts to devour a steak that weighs the same as some newborn children in less than three minutes.
GUTFELD: A metaphor.
BOLLING: What do you mean?
GUTFELD: While she's eating and picking up a baby.
BOLLING: Weighs the same, weighs the same. You must stick around for this one. You must.
Facebook Friday up ahead, back by popular demand. We answer your questions. Send them now, Facebook.com/TheFiveFNC.
We'll be right back.
TANTAROS: Well, is President Obama making America's youth miserable? According to a new analysis by the Young Americans Foundation, yes. The so-called youth misery index, a measurement of youth unemployment, average student loan debt, and national debt per capita, has hit an all-time high, making them miserable.
Now, Obama won the vote of 18 to 29-year-olds by a 23 percent margin in 2012, but they're quietly being left behind.
So, Bob, these are the same young adults that voted in droves for President Obama, arguably handed him the White House. Not once, but twice. And he's causing them to be literally miserable because of their high unemployment and student loan debt.
BECKEL: I think it's his fault the colleges charge as much as they do. I'm sure Obama gets them all together and says increase your tuition because we want people to pay a lot more. Let's also keep in mind that Obama was the president who gave relief to student loans and cut the percentage they had to pay back. But it's not surprising when there are not a lot of jobs out there and they do have a lot of debt. Sure, they're going to be miserable.
TANTAROS: I know you're being sarcastic, but he did make student loans cheap and easy. And that is a sign to the universities that you can just, Eric, jack up the tuition and charge whatever you want, letting them have free rein to have a higher education bubble.
BOLLING: Cheap easy and he may excuse your student loan so people takes on a lot of more debt.
So, this misery index -- by the way, this foundation, Young Americans Foundation, you have to go there, a conservative cornucopia of resources.
BECKEL: I was about to make that point -- not just conservatives, right wing.
BOLLING: OK, right wing, whatever, but it's fantastic. You can find a ton of great stuff there, go there.
But the index, unemployment, youth unemployment. I can -- I think we can hang that on Obama.
BECKEL: Oh, really?
BOLLING: The student loans, you can say it's not his fault, fine, take that one out.
But the third and most important in my opinion is national debt. Students, young people's share of national debt, and that's the meat of it, the biggest portion of the misery index comes from, is absolutely ballooned under President Obama. So --
BECKEL: You think these kids know how much of the percentage?
BOLLING: It's not up to them.
BECKEL: Oh, I see.
BOLLING: They're not polled. This is an index that has nothing to do with what they think.
BECKEL: This right-wing think tank comes up with things like that and says, OK --
TANTAROS: OK. Well, forget the right-wing think tank, Dana. "The New York Times" had a column recently that highlighted a study by Stewart Friedman. He conducted in `92 asking millennials their inclination to have kids.
Back in the day, in '92, it was 78 percent. He just conducted the study recently and found out only 42 percent of them want to have children. And the reason they say they don't want to have kids is because they don't see how they can make it work. They don't have jobs. They have crushing student loan debt. They just see a pretty abysmal future.
Isn't that a troubling thing for the United States?
PERINO: Yes, I think -- well, definitely because demographically because if you look at Europe or Russian where they have a low birth rate and Japan, you end up having problems down the road because you need people to be reproducing so that we can keep things going.
But this is delaying everything. So, they can't find the jobs, so then they're maybe defaulting or late in paying back their student loans. They're not buying that second car. They're not buying homes, and their happiness is delayed and marriage actually -- a committed relationship provides people a certain sort of good feeling about it, so that you wouldn't be in the misery index.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't want to blame President Obama for any of this. I think these are long-term trends that have been happening for a long time, that have to do with the foundation of our education system and the fundamental change of the economy and the technology that we're not prepared for in this country.
TANTAROS: Greg, I really want these young people to have kids because they need to pay my Social Security and your Social Security. But shouldn't liberals be encouraging kids to have sex? Instead, they're giving out free birth control, right?
BECKEL: We do.
TANTAROS: Not you, Bob.
GUTFELD: I have to comment on this misery index. Personally, I think it's insulting to our grandparents and to our great grandparents and to me who had a much, much worse growing up than the kids have now.
I just want to go thru a list of what my life was like. Acne. We didn't have anything but Clearasil. You guys have everything. I look at teenagers. Their skin is perfect.
Stray dogs. When I grew up, remember, you had stray dogs. They would walk around. I haven't seen a stray dog in 30 years.
There was no ESPN. You had three channels and you clickers. You remember your remote control clicker? Half the time it didn't work.
Eating? Do you remember TV dinners, how crappy they were? You would open them up, there would be peas in your beach cobbler. You don't even see that stuff anymore.
The 1980s when I was in high school and college, AIDS and herpes. In the 1970s, Jimmy Carter and slacks.
Are you more miserable now? Hell no, you have ESPN, you have Xbox, you have Apple. This is the best time of your life.
TANTAROS: But they have Justin Bieber.
GUTFELD: True. That destroyed it.
BECKEL: That was really an interesting rant.
TANTAROS: We've got to go.
GUTFELD: How miserable it is? It's good.
TANTAROS: When we come back, your questions for us answered on Facebook. I had a pimple earlier in the week.
Plus, our picks for the big NFL playoff games this weekend.
Stay right here.
PERINO: All right, we have the best fans here on "The Five".
And now we turn the show over to them. Tons wrote in -- what did I say? I didn't mean to.
PERINO: Anyway, these questions from Facebook.
OK, Eric, you're going to be first.
PERINO: "Saw you were wearing sweetness's jersey out in the cold the other day. Do you agree the '85 Bears were the greatest NFL team ever? Da bears!"
BOLLING: I absolutely not only agree with that. The song, you remember the Super Bowl shuffle? That was the best Super Bowl song. That was the best, William Refrigerator Perry, he's a big offensive lineman that they put in as fullback.
And by the way, that team won the Super Bowl, I believe, by the widest margin, up until then.
BECKEL: Buddy -- what's his name? Buddy, the defensive --
BOLLING: Buddy Ryan.
BECKEL: -- got in a fight --
BOLLING: With the coach.
PERINO: That Super Bowl shuffle was a genius PR move. I wonder what the Broncos will do.
Did you like that?
BOLLING: I got that.
PERINO: OK, Eric, you have one more. Do you think "Homeland" will be back, and if so, will it be better without Brody? Lynn D.
PERINO: I love "Homeland" with or without Brody. It's probably time to move on.
But I'm going to talk about one more thing, there's a new one. "True Detective", HBO series starting Sunday. Got to watch that.
BECKEL: When do you get time to do all this watching?
BOLLING: Sunday night, after football.
PERINO: All right. Andrea is next. I know you attended wrestle mania 3. Are you still a WWE fan?
Who is your favorite wrestling superstar?
TANTAROS: No, but when I was little, I don't know why I loved it. It was something about the drama and fighting. I loved Miss Elizabeth. Obviously she was with Randy Macho Man Savage.
I loved Hacksaw Jim Duggan. I liked the British Bulldog.
BECKEL: How do you know all these things?
TANTAROS: I don't know why. As a little girl, I liked watching WWF on Saturday mornings.
PERINO: Now, it's WWE. They're going backwards.
TANTAROS: I don't watch it anymore.
PERINO: OK, question for you, Andrea, number two. If you were a junior high or high school teacher, which subjects would you like to teach and which grade, seven through 12?
TANTAROS: I wanted to teach political science or government, or writing. I love writing class. That was my favorite class.
BECKEL: What age?
TANTAROS: The older the better.
PERINO: You want to get them young, if you're teaching politics.
TANTAROS: That's true. I'll take the ninth graders.
PERINO: Greg, you're next. What do you like to do in your down time, Greg?
TANTAROS: Be careful. You're talking to America.
GUTFELD: All right, what do I do in my down time? I don't have down time.
I watched the greatest movie I have ever seen called "The Act of Killing" which I watched last night. It's Werner Herzog, Errol Morris movie in which they got these Indonesian mass murderers -- this is a documentary -- that killed over 2.5 million people and had them re-enact their crimes in a movie.
It's quite possibly the greatest movie I have ever seen in my life. It will probably win an Oscar this year, but it blew my mind, two and half hours. Get it on iTunes. It's fantastic.
BECKEL: Saw it on "Wolf of Wall Street".
TANTAROS: It's wild.
PERINO: I have that, "The Cub of Wall Street."
BECKEL: That, man, is wild.
PERINO: "The Cub of Wall Street" for film people.
GUTFELD: Oh, that's --
PERINO: Very good.
Your second one, Greg, is how has emergency changed your opinions of some things?
BOLLING: Of marriage?
PERINO: Twenty seconds or less.
GUTFELD: The interesting thing about marriage is that there is no book written about it that is honest. And it will never be written.
PERINO: So why don't you write it?
GUTFELD: No, because I want to live.
PERINO: And stay married.
GUTFELD: And stay married, but no one will actually break the code and say this is what it's like. They'll say, you should really try it, it's good for you. Yes, it's good to me, but you didn't tell me about the other stuff.
BOLLING: And here's how to do it.
PERINO: Bob, we're going to move to you next. Why did you move out of your adorable house?
BECKEL: Well, I moved out of it because -- I actually still haven't moved out of it, but they moved me up here to do this show. And just one day, I was living in Maryland. The next thing I what uprooted and dropped here in New York City, which is a wonderful place to find friends. Serial killers --
BECKEL: No, but I still have the house, is the answer.
PERINO: Here's the thing --
BECKEL: I decorate it.
PERINO: -- people want to know why that is going to be your last time doing the Christmas decorations?
BECKEL: I'll be in New York City. If I have a house again, I'll do then them. Yes.
PERINO: Second one for you. What three things would you pack in your bag before taking a flight to Mars?
TANTAROS: Be careful, Bob. Be careful.
BECKEL: Oh, man.
PERINO: Mars. Mars.
BECKEL: Cigars. Yes. Xanax.
BECKEL: So I could breathe.
TANTAROS: I don't think you need it.
BECKEL: Oxygen. That's what I meant.
PERINO: Oh, here's mine. In your humble opinion, how long would Greg last as the White House press secretary?
GUTFELD: That's a good question. I could wing that thing.
PERINO: You could wing it, but would you be able to contain your temper?
GUTFELD: I would have a blast. I would come in and eviscerate all of them, insult them every minute.
PERINO: God, that would be great.
GUTFELD: Except for the dude from CNN.
PERINO: Which one?
BOLLING: Jonathan Karl?
GUTFELD: I don't know. Who are they?
PERINO: All right. My second one is would you consider yourself a country girl or city girl and why?
I would say I'm a country girl trapped in the city. But I like the city because I listen to my country music, but there's really no live country music here. That's kind of a problem, although 94.7 is helping with that.
Yes, I think that I could go both ways.
GUTFELD: Well, I hope that's taken out of context.
PERINO: Do we have time for this last one?
Quickly, this is for everybody. OK, this show, oh, my gosh. OK, who does the most show prep and who just walks in and wings it?
GUTFELD: That's obvious.
TANTAROS: Yes, pretty obvious.
PERINO: Is that obvious?
Bob, would you like to answer that?
BECKEL: I do the most show prep. You guys tend to all wing it. I spend hours getting ready for this show, and you guys just walk in here. Eric is on another TV show, and Andrea is out doing waitressing.
And you go out and smoke, and you don't do anything but read your computer notes. And I study. I study hard.
PERINO: We can tell. And we appreciate it. And our viewers appreciate it.
All right. That was fun.
Next, we won't know who is going to the Super Bowl yet, but we know what the athletes will be wearing. And that's what really matters, people. Bob has got football fashions. Plus, our playoff predictions, coming up.
BECKEL: That's -- never mind.
Super Bowl Sunday is just 23 days away, folks. And we're just getting ready for the first look at what some of your favorite players will be wearing. That's why I'm wearing this ridiculous jacket.
No, it's not ridiculous. Very nice. It is a nice jacket.
I was going to say it, because the Nike people were nice enough to give it to us.
This will be the first bowl ever played in cold weather in an open-air stadium. They played in Minneapolis, but it was a dome stadium, at the meadowlands in New Jersey.
So, the folks at Nike designed clothes to help the athletes stay warm. The products are made from the latest technology, including the dry fit base layers for protection from rain and snow.
OK. Now, listen, let me ask you a question, Eric. First of all, you've got on the --
BOLLING: I have on the AFC.
BECKEL: Don't do a George Zimmerman with that.
BOLLING: I love this thing. But our producers put their names on it, so I'm not going to walk out with it, don't worry.
PERINO: He's going to buy all of you.
BOLLING: I love this.
PERINO: All the producers, Eric Bolling said he's going to buy everything for you. Don't worry.
BECKEL: Show Dana the football. See if she can catch it in those --
PERINO: These gloves?
BECKEL: Very good. That's excellent. Dana --
PERINO: These are gloves, and they've got the high-tech things so I can keep doing my phone and stuff. Send selfies of me.
BECKEL: What do you have?
TANTAROS: I have the dry fit max t-shirt.
BECKEL: It sure is dry fit, no question about that.
TANTAROS: What's that supposed to mean?
BECKEL: It fits well.
TANTAROS: So weird.
BECKEL: Greg, how come you don't have something on?
GUTFELD: How do you know? I'm wearing the athletic supporter.
TANTAROS: What is it called? The jockstrap?
BECKEL: I want to thank Nike for bringing these things over here. I hope the players stay warm. Why anyone chose the Meadowlands for a Super Bowl?
BOLLING: It's a great idea. Are you kidding me? Did you watch the football game in Green Bay when it's l2 degrees below zero? That's football weather. I don't want to see a dome.
BECKEL: All right. Very quickly, very quickly, New Orleans Saints versus the Seattle Seahawks?
BOLLING: That's the toughest one of the whole thing. Seattle will get the points.
BECKEL: Indianapolis Colts versus New England Patriots?
BECKEL: All right. San Francisco 49ers and North Carolina Panthers.
And the big one, the San Diego Chargers versus the Denver Broncos.
TANTAROS: Denver Broncos. And I want to say this, all these people worried about freezing cold, you're a bunch of wussies. All our viewers in Wisconsin and all these other states are laughing at us right now, that we're so scared to be cold.
BECKEL: Broncos, 49ers, Patriots, and Seahawks.
OK, "One More Thing" is up next.
GUTFELD: All right. It's time for one more thing.
First off, "RED EYE", tomorrow night. It's on at 10:00, not 11:00. So, it's on earlier. And Beckel is going to be on with Stephen Baldwin. It's going to be kind of crazy.
All right, this is 120-pound lady named Molly Schuyler. Kind of impressive. She ate a 72-ounce steak in three minutes. There she goes. It's kind of frightening.
BECKEL: That is disgusting.
GUTFELD: That's like -- 72 ounces. That's like 60 pounds. She weighs 120 pounds. Look at that.
I don't know where you pick up this talent. Like how do you just discover you're a competitive eater? You know? How?
PERINO: I think it's mean to the cow. I mean, if you're going to eat a steak, you should savor it. It's not fair to the animal.
GUTFELD: That's not the point, Dana.
BECKEL: They're talking about killing him to get there.
PERINO: My turn, "RED EYE", I was on last night. And I never say anything to get bleeped, but look what these guys did to me.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Because this stuff could have prevented 9/11.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That is such (EXPLETIVE DELETED).
GUTFELD: Did you just say (EXPLETIVE DELETED)?
PERINO: I'm the only one who has not been (AUDIO DELETED)
GUTFELD: Wait a minute, what did you just say?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It might have gotten bleeps.
GUTFELD: I'm going to put in a bleep to make it look like you said something really bad.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'm the only one who hasn't been -- we'll just put a bleep.
PERINO: I told my mom to watch.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: I thought that was one of the very best, until, of course, when Bob's going to be on, of course.
BECKEL: Well, 30 years ago this very day, I was watching television, and Wendy's debuted a brand new commercial. Here it is.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It's a very big puffy bun.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Where's the beef?
ANNOUNCER: Some hamburger places give you a lot less beef on a lot of bun.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Where's the beef? Hey, where's the beef?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I don't think there's anybody back there.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BECKEL: Well, I got enamored with the ad. And I took that to him, he was about to debate Gary Hart, who was the front runner, and that's what happened with Mondale and where's the beef?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
WALTER MONDALE, FORMER VICE PRESIDENT: When I hear your new ideas, I'm reminded of that ad, where's the beef?
(END VIDEO CLIP)(
BECKEL: That ended Gary Hart's career. I'm proud to say, I also rode it through 20 years of speaking service.
GUTFELD: I think Donna Rice helped, too.
BECKEL: A little bit. That's right.
TANTAROS: This is a very meat themed one more thing with the steak eating woman, which looks like me on a Friday night when I don't have a wear these tight dresses on a Saturday. And yours was beef themed, too.
OK. Now, the cutest video ever. Look at this little polar bear. He takes his first steps ever at the Toronto zoo. Look.
BECKEL: Take those steps now before global warming ruins your habitat.
TANTAROS: Here he comes. Look how cute.
PERINO: You can do it.
TANTAROS: Come on, you're almost there, buddy.
PERINO: He's going backwards.
TANTAROS: Play "Eye of the Tiger."
GUTFELD: They're yelling at me. All right, polar bear.
TANTAROS: You have to watch the rest of the video.
BOLLING: Also featuring Bob Beckel tomorrow morning, weekend morning, not necessarily mandatory, but suggestion, 11:30 tomorrow morning, "CASHIN' IN" with Beckel and beyond.
NFL all day Saturday and Sunday, and then Sunday night, you've got have to check this out. I'm so excited for this. Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey, true detectives, the new cop drama.
BECKEL: On what?
GUTFELD: It's two gay detectives, right?
BOLLING: No, no.
GUTFELD: Yes, I think it's great you like that stuff.
GUTFELD: Anyway, don't forget to set your DVR so you never miss an episode of "The Five." We'll be here on Monday. Have a great weekend.
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