This is a rush transcript from "The Five," January 7, 2014. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Andrea Tantaros, along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Bob Beckel, Greg Gutfeld, and Eric Bolling is back outside again, braving the polar vortex in midtown Manhattan.
It's 5 o'clock in New York City, and this is "The Five."
TANTAROS: Well, new temperature records are shattered as the bitter cold air that gripped the Midwest makes its way to the South and Northeast today.
It's so cold that in an escaped prisoner in Kentucky actually turned himself in to escape the freezing weather. So cold the polar bear at Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo has been moved inside. It's so cold that it's warmer at the South Pole and Antarctica that in parts of the country today.
Here in New York, a 118-year-low record was broken when the mercury dipped to 4 degrees.
Now, Eric Bolling is crazy enough to be outside right now in his hometown Chicago Bears uniform. Eric, I've always thought there was a little something off with you.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: You think so?
TANTAROS: I do, and now I know for sure. What's wrong with you?
BOLLING: Listen, Ands, maybe I'm a little crazy for doing this, but you know what? Colin Kaepernick, who? I just had to try. Anyway, we have everyone represented here. We have the Midwest, Minnesota, right?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes.
BOLLING: Are you cold?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It's pretty normal for us.
BOLLING: Normal Minnesota weather. How about you? You're from Maryland, right?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Correct.
BOLLING: And how's this for you?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It's a little cold for me.
BOLLING: All right. They're cold. How's this, we have the West Coast represented, we have Los Angeles? How about you guys, expecting this cold?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No, we're dying right now. It's so cold.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I have never worn this much clothing and still freezing.
BOLLING: Still freezing. He lost a glove, too. I'm like, what glove? Glove, what glove?
And I also have Ireland. What's going on with Ireland, you guys?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: To be honest, we were expecting colder.
BOLLING: You were expecting colder than this?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Considering we only arrived this morning and considering what has happened a few days before.
BOLLING: She has rosy cheeks. You were expecting colder too?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It's just the wind that's cold. I thought it would be worst.
BOLLING: Wind-chill, that's what we call wind-chill. And guess what we have here? People who left -- get this -- 100 degree weather to come here. What were you thinking, Australia?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We love your city, and this is as cold as we have ever been in our lives.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It wasn't this cold in any of our previous visits. This is the worst.
BOLLING: But what you were thinking, you left nice, warm weather. It's summer in Australia.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: We didn't think it would be this cold.
BOLLING: And it is this cold.
Can you get a shot of the temperature back there? You see, 5:02, check it out, 8 degrees, you guys.
Ands, I'm going to throw it back to you. Do you have questions for these great people braving the cold weather to join us here on New York City with "The Five"?
TANTAROS: At least they're wearing hats and gloves and scarves and mittens. Where is your hat? Where's your mittens? Where's your gloves?
BOLLING: I know. I'm just praying my wife and son aren't watching right now, because I know what she's going to say -- if you get sick, I'm not going to help you. I'm not going to take care of you.
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Hey, Eric, I got two questions for you. First of all, for the Irish family that's there, have they been drinking?
BOLLING: Bob Beckel wants to know --
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Oh, my God.
BOLLING: -- if you had cocktails to keep you warm?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No, not yet. We only arrived this morning, as I said, but we'll grab a few.
BOLLING: Wouldn't be a bad idea, maybe.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes, I think it's needed.
BOLLING: It's needed. It's well-needed. What's the other question, Beckel?
BECKEL: Well, the other question is, are you going to get stiff out there? Are you going to make it into the show?
BOLLING: You know what I think, Bob? I think you should lose the skirt and come out and join me for the B-block. What do you think about that?
BECKEL: Oh, what a tough guy. I'm not that dumb.
BOLLING: I've got to be honest with you. I'm from Chicago. I bared cold weather before. This is of the coldest.
BECKEL: I bet you have bared cold weather.
BOLLING: You know what? Here's the thing -- I watch all these reporters with their mittens, with their gloves coming off their face. Come on, come on, Bob. Bob, you're wearing a scarf inside. Good lord. What's going on?
BECKEL: Yes, that's right. It's about 75 degrees in here, so it's perfect.
BOLLING: K.G., Greg, what about you?
GUILFOYLE: Go ahead.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: No, you go.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, I was going to say this just proves again how awesome the Irish are, how tough they are. We knew it would be cold, no problem. I love that. Those are my people.
TANTAROS: Greg, do you have a question?
BOLLING: A lot of fans of the Irish people being tough. What about the Australians? They're here in the 8 degrees.
TANTAROS: Oh, boy. Eric, I just got back from L.A. I want to ask the people from L.A., why now come to New York?
BOLLING: Why come to New York when it's 8 degrees? Why now?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I love the cold, but I don't know anymore.
TANTAROS: Me, too, girlfriend.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We weren't expecting 8 degrees.
BOLLING: What about Midwest? Seriously, what are you doing here in New York?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I came from Maryland.
BOLLING: And you came down here?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It's pretty cold.
BOLLING: We go back to the nice, warm studio. I'll be out here for a couple more minutes.
TANTAROS: All right. We'll check back in with you in a minute.
BECKEL: Don't get stiff on us, will you?
TANTAROS: I want to turn to Greg Gutfeld.
Greg, the polar vortex -- what do you think of all this? I know you don't like to wear so much clothing. But --
GUTFELD: For one thing, it sounds like some kind of move an ice skater would make, like the triple polar vortex. But the thing that bothers me is the polar bear. If you're a polar bear that has to go inside, you're no longer a polar bear. You're dishonorably discharged from that species.
It's like finding out a rat no longer wants to spread disease or a gorilla refuses to eat bananas. You are not a polar bear if you have to go inside. You're a Chicago bear. That's what you are. You're a disgrace.
GUILFOYLE: He was expecting, you know, global warming.
BECKEL: It is global warming. Global warming is the reason for this vortex.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh.
TANTAROS: Bob, guess who agrees with you, shockingly.
TANTAROS: A member of the mainstream media. Charlie Rose is wondering, I didn't know he was a scientist, but Charlie Rose recently wondered if this polar vortex is the cause, as Bob says, of global warming.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CHARLIE ROSE, TV ANCHOR: Is it definitely convicted to global warming?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Potentially, it's connected to that.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I mean, these have been happening already. What's new progress (ph) is the fact that the winds may actually be weakening. That could be due to warming in the Arctic, changing hemisphere circulation, therefore making it more likely for that cold, dense air to escape the vortex, spilled (ph) down to us.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
TANTAROS: OK. Explain it, Greg.
GUTFELD: This is absolute baloney. How does the left explain the weather? When it's hot, it's global warming. When it's cold, it's global warming. When it's OK, it's Sarah Palin's fault.
I don't care about what activists say or what skeptics say. The media should not push unsupported assumptions when there's a cold snap. You can't push stuff that you cannot prove.
Here's what you can say, Bob, let me finish -- the cold wave does not prove that global warming is here. The cold wave does not prove global warming is not here. That's all you can say. It's extremely boring, and the media can't get a story out of this unless they push the panic and pushing the panic is not fair to the people at home because it's not true.
BECKEL: Why do you get so upset about it if it's so boring?
GUTFELD: Because I have to keep reading this stuff to explain it.
BECKEL: OK, let me explain it to you.
When the cold air -- when the arctic is as cold as it should be as opposed to warmer, it keeps the cold air up there.
BECKEL: When it gets too warm, it opens up a trough and comes right down. That's why global warming --
TANTAROS: Here's my problem. Here's my problem.
OK, we watched so many on the left claim to be health care administrators, doctors, engineers, remember, they're going to design a solar panel. Now, all of a sudden, Bob Beckel is a scientist?
And the reason that I get angry about the global warming push is because it's all done so they can control our lives. If they can convince the American public it's happening, then they can control every aspect using our taxpayer dollars. That's my issue.
GUILFOYLE: You're absolutely right, and then more regulations, more imposition on our personal choices and freedoms. And I'm sorry, I would be all for the solar panels if you didn't have to take a cold shower after. That's all I have to say.
GUTFELD: You know what killed the Donner party? It wasn't transportation, Bob. The cold weather --
BECKEL: You didn't want another.
GUTFELD: It was taking a short cut when they shouldn't. Cold weather is as bad as new as Larry King's liver. It's been around forever.
The problem is, the media --
GUILFOYLE: He doesn't drink.
GUTFELD: The media has the long-term memory of a flea. The polar vortex is not a new phenomenon. It has been around. The ice age was not caused by SUVs. The mini Ice Age was not caused by SUVS or Republicans or Tea Partiers.
TANTAROS: I have been told not to have a memory of a flea today and forget Eric Bolling, who's outside.
Eric, are you still with us? Are your fingers and toes, can you feel them? How are they?
BOLLING: I'm listening to this whole conversation. I have two questions for you. Number one, if a weather person, a meteorologist can't tell us if it's going to rain tomorrow or be, you know, 20 degrees or 50 degrees, how can they tell us when it's going to be 2,100 years from now that this whole global warming thing, what we're doing now is going to affect then?
The other thing is, even if it's some of the carbon that we're emitting, the dioxide that we're emitting is manmade, how much is it? And is it really the reason why the globe is increasing in temperature? If it is, ever so slightly?
I mean, there's so many questions. The hoax is that if a meteorologist were to say or a weather scientist were to say that, yes, this is normal, it's weather, it's cold, it's hot, it's normal, then they wouldn't get funded. All these big projects wouldn't be funded.
BECKEL: Eric, I just want to say to the audience, because I'm sure they're worried about. We're going to get him back on his meds and back to the hospital. It's fine. He's going to be OK.
BOLLING: I've got to say, this whole thing about being cold, it's overrated. You get used to it.
GUILFOYLE: But you know what, Eric? It's s amazing. Your tan looks great, your hair hasn't moved.
BOLLING: It's glued. It's glued down.
GUILFOYLE: It's locked in.
BECKEL: You went to Puerto Rico. That's why you got a tan, right?
BOLLING: That's right, Bobby. All good. We love you.
BECKEL: Get down here, will you?
TANTAROS: Greg, piggy banking on what you said about how the media can't make up its mind, proof of that, 1974, "Time" magazine blamed the polar vortex on global cooling. And now, in 2014, they're blaming it on global warming. So, doesn't it prove that can't make up their mind?
GUTFELD: Yes, their models have always been inaccurate. They believed in 2007 that reduced snowfall was going to be caused by global warming. Then every year, the snow increased, so they said, OK, the increase in the amount of snow is the cause or the evidence of global warming.
So everything is now caused by global warming. This is not science. It's a scam.
And I will say this, this is what Bob and I should reach a midpoint, real scientists want to be proven wrong. They don't look for stuff that proves their assumption. That's the scary part about global warming activism, is that they said the science was settled, and no scientist ever says that.
I want to be wrong. I want you to prove me wrong, which forces me to keep reading and keep listening.
GUILFOYLE: Right. Credible scientists don't say that.
GUTFELD: Yes. You have to want to be proven wrong because it makes your position stronger. That's why everybody is so skeptical about global warming activists, because they don't want to be proven wrong.
BECKEL: I think we can reach an agreement on that, except that the one thing I have to ask you is that there are a lot, and lots and lots of scientists who believe in global warming.
BECKEL: They're real scientists, bona fide scientists. Why -- you think they're perpetuating a scam? I mean, what do you think it is?
GUTFELD: I think it became an ideology, and I think there are legitimate scientists like Bjorn Lomborg, who believes in -- he's a lukewarmer, he believes there are slight increases that could be beneficial, maybe harmful in the long term, but there are others who are too invested in it.
GUILFOYLE: And change position.
GUTFELD: And there's a lot of scientists who are actually very skeptical who are left out of the debate.
GUILFOYLE: Yes, because they have to be open to new information, new research coming in. Science doesn't stand still. So, when you shut it down and say the science is settled, then you're just putting yourself in a close position, which then you lose credibility when you say there's bona fide --
BECKEL: I think Greg made an enormous amount of sense, which may be the first time in the global warming debate.
GUILFOYLE: Yes. I think you got dressed together this morning. You're like little Christmas --
GUTFELD: Yes, we're both wearing red ties.
BECKEL: I don't have a tie -- or a sweater like that.
TANTAROS: I mean, you have to agree, it is at times when you watch certainly people talk about, like Charlie Rose and global warming, you look and you go, what makes you a scientist.
I mean, none of us are scientists. We just read the data and see there's too much conflicting data. You have "The New York Times" coming out and saying, you know, the numbers are kind of funny on the stuff. I think the public believes something is happening. But when it becomes a crisis, they're going, so now what do we do? Spend millions of dollars to assume we can actually fix it?
GUTFELD: You know what makes Charlie Rose and all of us scientists? Having a cable show.
Every day, you've got to fill up the bucket with something. And you can't just say it's cold out there, so you've got to say something else.
BECKEL: I'm not a scientist. All I would say I graduated from college with a 2.0001 on a football scholarship, that's because I dated the French teacher and she gave me a passing grade.
TANTAROS: Eric, get back in the studio. We'll see you for the B- block, in moments, right?
BOLLING: I'm telling you, it's cold. So, there's no -- turn the global warming switch on for me, would you?
TANTAROS: I wish they were right, don't you?
GUILFOYLE: Oh my God.
BOLLING: I do. I'll see you in a minute.
TANTAROS: We want to see how you are braving the cold at home. So, tweet us your best polar vortex snap shots @fnthefive, #thefive, and we'll feature some of them later in the show. And when we come back, LBJ and the Democratic Party declared a war on poverty almost 50 years ago, and taxpayers have spend $15 trillion to fight it. We'll examine the results next on "The Five".
GUILFOYLE: Tomorrow marks 50 years since President Lyndon Johnson declared his famous war on poverty during his first State of the Union.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
LYNDON B. JOHNSON, THEN-U.S. PRESIDENT: This administration today, here and now, declares unconditional war on poverty in America. We shall not rest until that war is won. It must be won in the field, in every private home, in every public office, from the courthouse to the White House.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: Half a century later, where do we stand?
Well, poverty levels have only dropped slightly since 1964, but government spending on welfare over the same period has skyrocketed by 11,000 percent. Not much bang for the buck.
Now, despite the dismal results, President Obama is still pushing for more government spending and more government dependence, today in the form of another extension of long-term unemployment benefits.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: When times get tough, we are not a people who say you're on your own. We're people who believe that we're all in it together. And we know, there but the grace of God go I. So, that's the values case for this. That's the moral case for this.
Congress should pass this bipartisan plan right away, and I will sign it right away. And more than one million Americans across the country will feel a little hope right away. And hope is contagious.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: Well, President Obama, you, sir, have been in charge for five years, and you're saying that times are still tough, so what is he going to accept some of the responsibility and perhaps do something to change the course?
BOLLING: One of the other lines in the speech, honestly, I couldn't believe he said this, he said, quote, "voting for this extension creates jobs." That's not the definition of what he's trying to do right there, socialism, where you take an earned dollar from a maker, you take it from him and you give it to a taker. What you get was -- is you discourage the good behavior of work and capitalism, and you encourage the bad behavior of let's not rush to get a job.
As Charles Krauthammer puts out, when you subsidize apples, you get more apples. When you subsidize unemployment, you get more unemployment. Now, we tend to agree with --
BECKEL: What about the fact that you are always talking about jobs fleeing this country. What if these people can't get work, what you do then? Let them starve?
BOLLING: In two and a third years, they can't get work?
BECKEL: I guess not. I think some of these -- not all of these people are all scam artists.
BOLLING: Look, the whole idea of welfare is to help people get through, to get the job. When it's two and a half years, or two and a quarter years, at some point, you have to say enough is enough.
Here's the other thing, if President Obama on one side of his mouth says things are getting so much better under ObamaCare -- well, then, why are we spending trillions and trillions.
GUILFOYLE: Right, the math doesn't make sense.
BECKEL: Let's talk about Lyndon Johnson. That's what we started the war on poverty. I'd like to have a discussion about that.
GUTFELD: Look at Detroit.
GUILFOYLE: Thank you, Bob.
GUTFELD: Who needs a real war when you have the war on poverty? And an invading army with the best weapons in the world couldn't achieve what the war on poverty has done to Detroit, Oakland, Baltimore, Newark.
The real truth is, the war on poverty is the war on America. No one has to invade us. We're doing a great job on our own.
It was of the best intention. However, a war on anything that isn't a real war, fails. Whether it's a war on drugs, which is a bust; the war on poverty, which is a bust; the war on Christmas, which is a sham.
And now, if you look at unemployment benefits, we're putting politics over people. The Republicans cannot say no to this because they appear to be the Grinch. You'll be painted at the Grinch. Even though studies show it will lead to longer unemployment -- but you can't say that, because you're seen as mean, so extend the benefits another three months. And hopefully, maybe, that's it.
But if you say no to it, you're painted as a monster.
TANTAROS: And it happens every single year around this time. It's strategically planned. It's usually right before Christmas. So politically, people don't want to say they're against it, because it's not a good argument. OK?
Poverty is a very serious issue. It's not a joking matter, but this is not a country -- we don't live in a country giving up on poverty. We have Medicaid. We have WIC. We have food stamps. We take care of our poor.
If you believe the liberals, Bob, then we are exactly where LBJ said that we were. I mean, he thinks we're in the same exact place, and you steam to agree.
But, if I could finish, unemployment insurance was not meant to be a pension. It was meant to be a Band-Aid. It's not a lifestyle. If you continue to put able-bodied people on the dole, they'll stay there.
And I have an idea, how about this? What would you say to this, Bob? If you require people are going to go on unemployment insurance, after 99 weeks, they would have to do community service, they would have to volunteer, be teacher's aids. They could help build houses for returning vets. What would you say to that?
BECKEL: I think that's a pretty good idea. Let me try to put this to some context.
TANTAROS: It's not mine. It's FDR's idea.
BECKEL: All of the war on poverty was not successful, and all of it -- some of it was quite successful. The war on poverty includes Medicare and Medicaid. The war on poverty includes Head Start, which I think everybody -- just most people will agree is a good program. The fact of the matter is right now, we're spending less as a percentage since the Welfare Reform Act of the '90s, but here's the thing that's the real problem.
Those of us who supported this, housing and other things, we did it with the best intentions and we made some mistakes, and we did breed some dependency that we have to take responsibility for. The last thing I'd say is we can't take responsibility for families breaking down. Children in poverty in the country, 44 percent of them are from single-mother households, 11 percent are in married households.
BOLLING: Can you explain, what have we done right with the war on poverty? Because the poverty level hasn't gone down in 50 years.
BECKEL: Yes, but it was going up every year before we got there.
BOLLING: But it's still almost 16 percent, and that's unchanged.
BECKEL: There's going to be a percentage of people who will always be in poverty.
BOLLING: When you win a war, you defeat the enemy, the enemy being poverty. We haven't budged.
BECKEL: We can't take responsibility for families breaking apart in the inner cities.
TANTAROS: Why can't you? That's not fair.
I think this administration in particular as pushed the notion hood of single motherhood, which you and I agree is the fastest pathway to poverty, even though it's the hardest job in the world, but they have furthered it with the life of Julia. And what they have done, they want women to be dependent on the government and kids dependent on the government, and they have kind of let American men out to be onesie wearing Doofuses.
BECKEL: The notion they want women to be in poverty is just so ridiculous.
TANTAROS: They want them to be dependent.
GUILFOYLE: Let's talk about something here, get your take on it, because this is getting a lot of buzz. This is Brit Hume and he's saying, look, if the administration is asking for this extension of these benefits is basically saying they failed, an admission.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BRIT HUME, FOX NEWS: The administration's appeal for a further extension of unemployment benefits may succeed in putting congressional Republicans in a tight spot if they resist. In that sense, it may be a shrewd political move. Yet embedded in it is an extraordinary acknowledgement of failure by the president and his party.
Upon taking office, the president and his party set two big goals. One was to revive the economy, the other to reform health care. The ObamaCare mess tells us where we are on one. The call for further unemployment benefits tells us where we are on the other.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Well, yes. President Obama says you can have both, an improving economy while keeping this safety net in place. However, again, what is missing is what I said before, the fear of debate. You should want to have the discussion based on research, the research saying that if benefits are extended, so goes unemployment. You've got to have that discussion or it's never going to change.
GUILFOYLE: They don't want to. If you ask to have the discussion, then you're pegged as mean-spirited and uncaring, unfeeling party.
GUTFELD: Which I am, by the way. I am.
GUILFOYLE: OK. Bolling?
BOLLING: And the thing is -- I mean, they like to peg this as a class war fair thing going on, but the vast majority of the money that is being redistributed is coming from the middle class. It's on the backs of the middle class. Ask a guy who's making $30,000 or $35,000 a year paying 35 percent tax, if he feels good about handing over more money for someone who has been frankly on welfare for 99 weeks.
BECKEL: If you don't mind me pointing out, this money comes from workers compensation funds. When you're employed, you pay into workings compensation funds. So, basically, they're taking money they themselves put into this system.
And the idea that somehow these million people -- you keep saying these dislocated jobs, that's true. Some people aren't going to be able to get jobs. So, what are you going to do? Again, I ask the question, unless you retrain them --
TANTAROS: I think there's a lot of political votes in keeping people down. They want the dependency culture. And I'm going to go back to this -- Republicans, you missed another opportunity by approving this. Next time, they have to require that if they're going to renew unemployment insurance, they get a tradeoff from Democrats. Community service, build homes for veterans, teachers' aides, help with the DMV, it was FDR's idea, it's brilliant, use it next year, Republicans.
GUILFOYLE: There you go.
Coming up, Jameis Winston led Florida State to victory last night in the BCS championship. But how did he handle his victory lap after the game? We'll show you what he said.
And later, more gibberish from Dennis Rodman on North Korea. We're going to play the tape to see if you can understand it, (INAUDIBLE) decode.
All that and more, ahead on "The Five".
BOLLING: Welcome back, everybody, to the fastest six or seven minutes in cable news. Three spectacular stories, seven speedy minutes, and one psyched host.
First up, NCAA football national champions crowned last night in a gutsy last minute drive by Heisman Trophy-winning and red shirt freshman, Jameis Winston, with 13 seconds left, down by four, Florida State captain incredible come-from-behind drive on the back of their young quarterback, by the way, on his 20th birthday. Listen.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JAMEIS WINSTON, FLORIDA STATE UNIV. QUARTERBACK: When they took the lead, we took the initiative to show that we deserve to be in this predicament that we were in. We wanted to win. And we had to. And my team got on my back and we just went the whole way, man.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: So, some were saying maybe, Ands, a little cocky, but you know what? He earned it.
TANTAROS: A little bit cocky, but you know what, if they would have lost, everybody would have blamed Winston for the loss. So, he's taking a little bit of credit. He did do a gutsy move.
I was amazed at the turnaround. Right at halftime, I switched over to "The Bachelor", and all this people in Twitter were going, don't do it. And I came back, and it was amazing.
BOLLING: Your thoughts?
GUTFELD: I expected him to take more credit. I mean, I wouldn't call him the Bill O'Reilly of college football --
GUILFOYLE: Are you saying --
GUTFELD: I'm more perturbed by the fact he's a red-shirt freshman. Kind of racist. I thought we had moved beyond that.
BOLLING: Oh, brother.
BOLLING: Twenty-year-old. Are you watching?
GUILFOYLE: Yes, I pulled an Andrea. I did the same thing. We were like twinned because I was watching "The Bachelor" with Juan Pablo, and the game --
BOLLING: Oh, brother.
GUILFOYLE: Equally thrilling, equally thrilling.
BOLLING: I want -- quick thought, and then we have to move on, Bobby. You picked Florida State, but did you pick them with or without the points?
BECKEL: I think without the points. But with that aside, Winston, I tell you, Winston did a remarkable job in that drive.
GUILFOYLE: I picked Auburn and lost.
BECKEL: But he did not play well in the first half.
TANTAROS: He did not.
BOLLING: But they did. Auburn covered with points. Let's be clear.
All right. Moving on, from a guy who had a lot to say to a guy who can't buy a vowel. Superstar director Michael Bay was the man behind the camera for films like "Pearl Harbor", "Armageddon" and "Transformers". Mr. Bay met his match on a stage in Vegas.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MICHAEL BAY, HOLLYWOOD DIRECTOR: What I try do as the director, I try to -- ah. The type is all off. Sorry. I'll wing this.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Tell us what you think?
BAY: We'll wing it right now. I try to take people on an emotional ride. And -- um --
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The curve, how do you think it's going to impact how viewers experience your movies?
BAY: Excuse me, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: OK.
Ladies and gentlemen, let's thank Michael Bay for joining us.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: I can't -- you have no idea how cringe worthy that is, Greg. You sent that around last night.
GUTFELD: Yes, I mean, it's hard. To speak in public. I think --
GUILFOYLE: Like now.
GUTFELD: Forget it.
GUILFOYLE: Lock the door. Lock the door.
BOLLING: Stage fright, but man, that's the worst.
GUILFOYLE: I think he was prepared to read exactly what they said, talking points, and then he lost it. He should just talk about what an awesome director he is, and any medium is going to make the film even more entertaining. Something, and they tried to help him.
I felt bad for him.
BOLLING: Do you ever have stage fright?
BECKEL: But, you know, my brother was in "Pearl Harbor" as an actor. He said this guy was a very nice guy, good director, but he was very in control of everything, which obviously is the case. When you don't have a prompter, you're in trouble. We learned about that on New Year's Eve, didn't we, Kim?
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God. H's so creepy. He's right there. What a weirdo. Hi.
GUILFOYOLE: You know what I think happened? He's trying to one up you and show you he's a man, too. Look, oh, my gosh.
BOLLING: Can we have security for Greg?
TANTAROS: You know what I think happened to him? He knows what he's talking about when it comes to his movies and directing. The problem is he was there to indorse a product, a TV, and he didn't prepare. So, you know what that's like. If you don't read your one more thing and you're asked to talk about it, he didn't prepare.
GUILFOYLE: You mean Bob every day?
BOLLING: President Obama's teleprompter goes off, he goes off prompter, and you know what that tends to do.
All right. Be prepared to be creeped out. This ad for Old Spice moms singing about losing their teenage sons to women because of the body spray's allure.
(TV COMMERCIAL CLIP)
BOLLING: Well, let's go to our mom.
GUILFOYLE: I don't like that. That really freaks me out. I find it frightening.
BOLLING: It's creepy, right?
GUILFOYEL: Yes, children of any age, or even over 18, don't watch it, right? It reminds me of the devil or something.
BOLLING: I happened to be watching that without the sound up, but if you watch it without the sound up, you have -- it looked like an ad for walking dead.
GUILFOYLE: I don't like it.
BOLLING: Greg, you were right.
GUTFELD: Don't you -- I would -- remember the Old Spice commercials? The guy would come out wearing a fisherman's shirt, saying, hey, how are you doing? I'm just going to go to the bar and pick up a chick?
This is now -- this is the kid from the Obama ads. This is for the kid who won't leave home. This is the kid who can't find a job, whose mother -- he's stuck in the basement with his Adderall and his Xbox.
GUILFOYLE: I hope this doesn't happen to me.
TANTAROS: And he leaves the Old Spice.
I think the mother-son thing was a little creepy. Old spice is marketed to that gruff man like a Bob Beckel type of guy, not a little boy. That was weird.
BOLLING: The Old Spice commercials, I think of Bob Beckel in his day was the Old Spice guy.
BECKEL: Well, whoever dressed that thing was the guy who did the night of the living dead, number one, and it looks like the exorcist, the head turned around. There's two different people.
GUILFOYLE: So weird.
BECKEL: I think it's a lousy ad. Frankly, I don't like Old Spice that much.
GUILFOYLE: Can you say something? You were funny. When Greg was outside, security was like, don't do that. He's like, I'm on "The Five", I'm on the show.
BOLLING: They're wrapping us. That's the fastest seven and a quarter minutes on TV.
All right. Don't move -- Kim Jong-un's BFF went wild this morning during an interview from North Korea. We've got the tape. Dennis Rodman's latest on-air meltdown coming your way in just a minute.
GUTFELD: Dennis Rodman, the self appointed ambassador to genocidal jerks, went on CNN to defend heading to North Korea, for the birthday of its bellicose butter ball of a dictator.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DENNIS RODMAN, FORMER NBA PLAYER: (INAUDIBLE) (EXPLETIVE DELETED). I don't give a rat's ass what the hell you think. I'm saying to you, look at these guys here. Look at them.
Ain't no shield. I got it. Let me do this. I want to tell you one thing. People around the world, around the world, I'm going to do one thing -- you're the guy behind the mike right now. We're the guys here doing other thing. We have to get back to America and take the abuse.
Do you have to take the abuse? We're going to take it. Do you, sir? Let me know. You're going to take it, we're going to give it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Wow. It's like a dictionary had a seizure. Maybe Rodman's a genius. Here he is assembling a team of NBA pros under the guise of diplomacy just to get close enough to assassinate the creep. It's like bunkary (ph) with a jump shot.
I kid. Rodman is an ass and a long line of Western pawns used to air brush the deeds of our enemies, whether it's Lillian Hellman, Jane Fonda, Walter Durante or Sean Penn, we rarely run out of totalitarian butt kissers desperately seeking recognition to disguise a defective intellect, so north Korea may be flawed, but we're far worse. Remember, Rodman in a burst of adolescent relativism said on Sunday TV said that we have death camps, too.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: A great guy puts 200,000 people in death camps.
RODMAN: Well, you know, guess what? We do the same thing here.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: What do you expect from a guy who once dated Madonna?
Rodman will never see the real North Korea, the dead, the starving, the suffering. Worse, he won't even ask to see it because he's a wimp. After all, he's going there to celebrate his bud's birthday.
Yes, Rodman is the Marilyn Monroe to Kim Jong's JFK. It makes him more than a patsy. To borrow from his own vocabulary, he's Lil' Kim's little bitch.
What is he going to do? He can't find me. Oh, you mean from other people.
GUILFOYLE: They'll find you.
GUTFELD: What did you make of his performance? Was he on drugs?
GUILFOYLE: I don't even know what he said. He had 25 U.N. interpreters. I don't know even know what was going on with it. I was trying to listen. I was hoping we were going to close caption it.
He sounded upset. He's actually, I think, making a fool of himself at this point. This is worse than the last one.
GUTFELD: Bob, do you think he really believes he's helping?
BECKEL: I can't imagine he could. I also don't know how he convinced these other guys to go with him.
But I'll tell you one, listening to him reminds me of what I sounded like when I was drinking and --
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