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The Five

Worst Christmas presents for men and women?

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," December 24, 2013. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: Well, welcome "The Five's Christmas special. We are so happy that you could join us tonight. Many of you are probably curled up right now by your fireplace drinking eggnog or maybe even exchanging gifts with family. And we are going to exchange some gifts too. But first, we want to talk about some of the worst gifts men and women give each other according to The New York Post. Let's look at the worst presents that women give to men. OK, clothing like ties. That's always a popular one. What else do we got here? Anything gadgety. I thought guys like gadgety stuff. Grilling equipment. Sports fan crap, a watch. Eric, do you like watches? That's a little odd. Monthly grooming subscription, a cheese tasting course, a DVD set of a TV show. Protein powder -- who gets a guy that? Or a couple mani-pedi. OK, Greg, have you received any of these gifts from women in your life?

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: No, actually, thankfully, I've been very lucky. Can I just say I'm seated next to a huge -- what are these, poinsettia?

TANTAROS: Yes.

GUTFELD: Yes. These are -- these plants are what I call the beneficiary of Christmas welfare. If it wasn't for Christmas, no one would ever have a poinsettia. They are ugly, red, monstrosities.

TANTAROS: Ho, ho, ho.

GUTFELD: The worst thing I ever gave a woman is hepatitis.

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Oh, my God.

(LAUGHTER)

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Yes. Well –

TANTAROS: Dana, have you ever given any of these gifts.

PERINO: Well, certainly. Of course, I've given clothing, what else is there to get guys out of this list. I mean, I've never given anyone a couples mani-pedi, though I'm tempted to get one for Bob Beckel. Onesie pajamas aren't on the list either. But I think those are a little bit more popular this year than before.

TANTAROS: You know what didn't make it on here but I guess it sort of counts Eric, a nose hair trimmer.

BOLLING: What are you trying to say?

(LAUGHTER)

BOLLING: Really? OK, listen, guys there is no bad gift. If a woman gives you a gift, whether it's a mani-pedi or a nose hair trimmer or a sweater or tie - -

PERINO: Would you go to the mani-pedi?

BOLLING: I will not get trapped into that, Perino. I'll go if you go.

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: You ought to say, gosh, it was a wonderful thing you did for me and then you put it in the closet. A couple of things, first of all, the mani-pedi, forget about it.

(CROSSTALK)

TANTAROS: I thought you like massages.

BECKEL: Well, I do, but a different kind of place. A cheese-tasting course? Now, who the heck would go to a cheese tasting course.

BOLLING: I would.

BECKEL: You would?

BOLLING: Yes.

BECKEL: Really, I don't care, that's good. And a watch -- if somebody gets you a watch it would be 30,000 bucks, you can't afford it. And then gadgetry, the problem is, Dana, that you get stuff that nobody uses. Anything that looks like a wrench is a gadget and you usually get things that are European style, you know, millimeters instead of inches –

PERINO: One time I gave Peter one of those remote control helicopter things. That was a good gift.

BECKEL: How long did it last? A day and a half? I've had those too –

TANTAROS: I think these are good gifts on here, except for protein powder, like a cheese-tasting course, I would think would be fun, or a cooking class where you can drink while you're cooking. Doesn't that sound fun?

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: No, not all. But with grooming you send the message you look like hell.

GUTFELD: The problem with all these that no one likes is they all smack of self improvement. If you give somebody something that says this will help you, it's insulting. Nobody wants to be told that they need help at Christmas.

BOLLING: Or a nose hair trimmer.

GUTFELD: Exactly. The thing that you give them is supposed to be fun, a bottle of booze or some kind of sporting equipment, and it should never take up much room, because if you hate it, you don't want to have to look at it. Whatever is purchased need to be able to be fit in a drawer, so that once you look at it, you just put it away and never look at it again.

BECKEL: You know, the sports things that they gave out, I can't tell you the number of times I've gotten sports memorabilia from teams I hate. They get it completely wrong. I mean, I'm a Redskins and they bring me Cowboy crap.

TANTAROS: OK. Don't give Bob any Cowboy crap. OK, sand how about the 10 worst holiday presents that men give women. Again, I look at some of these. I don't see the problem with them. OK, some of them are bad though. All right -- a digital pedometer, a high end scale. Yeah, don't get a woman a scale. That's really stupid. A toaster oven, a vacuum cleaner. How about no appliances, men? Unless she asks for it.

BECKEL: What's wrong with the vacuum cleaner? You ought to be using it more.

TANTAROS: That's the point Bob. A gift card from Home Depot, a tool kit. Actually, I need a tool kit -- I don't have a tool kit. I need that.

PERINO: My parents gave –

TANTAROS: Every time someone comes to my house, they are like, hey, do you a screwdriver –

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: I thought you were asking for a drink.

TANTAROS: Santa-themed lingerie. What's the problem?

BECKEL: I'm all for that. Again, what is wrong with that?

PERINO: My parents once gave my sister and I these little tool boxes for Christmas and we were so annoyed. We were like, what kind of gift is that to give? And I ended up using that tool box for years. It had everything you needed in it when a guy was not around.

GUTFELD: That is a great story.

TANTAROS: And, Eric, you have given your wife chocolates and a teddy bear -- it's on the list here.

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: You know like that big teddy bear – you know that huge, life-sized, like human-sized teddy bear, she put it in the back seat for like -- Valentine's Day – she put it in the back seat for like three months – so she looked a little crazy. Don't get a woman a diet book. Are you out of your mind?

BECKEL: Yes, exactly.

GUTFELD: That is a great way to break up.

BECKEL: Talk about a quiet night for yourself, that's going to be it.

BOLLING: Or break up later.

TANTAROS: And what about this one, Bob -- cheap jewelry, isn't that the truth? If it turns her finger green, probably don't get it, right?

BECKEL: Well, it doesn't turn green for about a month, right?

(LAUGHTER)

TANTAROS: Are you betting on dumping here in a month, then get it.

BECKEL: I'm going to sell this stuff out there. But the thing that bothers me here, when they talk about a diet book, I can understand why that's a problem. But when it says a teddy bear, instead of a teddy bear, how about just a teddy?

PERINO: It says that. Santa-themed lingerie, is also one of the worst gifts, apparently.

BOLLING: I would push back that being on the worst list.

BECKEL: I would think it would be a wonderful gift. It would be wonderful thing to find under the tree.

TANTAROS: Well, let's hope that somebody isn't receiving Santa-themed lingerie. And our little gift exchange. OK, up first, Secret Santa time to Eric.

BOLLING: Oh!

PERINO: But before you open it, Eric, we have to play this sound from earlier in the year.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: I had three years of pictures and videos, three years of great memories, my son going away, all of my contacts, baseball, Eric Chase, various vacations or whatnot, and I never synced it, I never backed it up on a computer and those are gone now forever. So parents, as Dana points out very importantly, she said this will be a great one more thing all of the parents out there, sync the phones and make sure they are on a computer so if you lose it and someone steals your car.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: So, that's what happened, your car got stolen and the phone went it. This is something that might be able to help you preserve some of those memories in the future.

BOLLING: Wow, check it out. Photo -- oh, I've seen this. This is fantastic. All I have to do is put my iPhone on it and sync the photos –

PERINO: And, well, then you can choose to print them. It’s a printer.

BOLLING: And you can print them.

GUTFELD: I like the fact it has a little handle.

(LAUGHTER)

GUTFELD: You can take it with you wherever you want to go.

BOLLING: That is an awesome, awesome gift. Thank you.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Well, it depends on what kind of pictures you want to print from your phone, Bob. Well, some –

BOLLING: You cannot borrow this.

TANTAROS: Don't let him near the photo cube.

BECKEL: All right.

BOLLING: Who is up?

TANTAROS: To Dana.

GUTFELD: Oh, look, a dog.

BECKEL: Oh, God.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: All right.

BECKEL: Tell me, is it a dog-themed thing?

PERINO: This is it.

GUTFELD: Oh, pretty paper.

PERINO: Oh, look, it will fit me and Greg. No, it will fit the dog. I love it. This is so cute.

BOLLING: It's a sweater for Jasper. Is there another one?Greg, you could really fit in this.

GUTFELD: It looks like a leg warmer for a fat person.

(LAUGHTER)

BOLLING: I think there is another gift down there somewhere, no?

BECKEL: Is that for your dog?

PERINO: Yes, it is for the dog. You put the two legs through there and you put it around like this and it's an American flag. See?

BOLLING: Yes.

PERINO: Thank you. That is weird, we got each other.

BOLLING: Freedom has the same one. He looks so cute.

PERINO: They could get together and be twinsies.

TANTAROS: I'm seeing a Jasper photo somewhere in the future.

PERINO: Definitely. I love it. Thank you.

BOLLING: There's another, Dana. The producers have misplaced it but we'll find it.

PERINO: We're going to find it, because you know what, Christmas should last all year.

TANTAROS: Are you ready? Bob, from Secret Santa.

BECKEL: Who is my Secret Santa?

GUTFELD: Guess what, it is me. And I thought long and hard about what to get you and I feel pretty good about this. I think you'll be really happy.

BECKEL: I really will?

GUTFELD: Yeah.

BECKEL: Is it something I can show on television?

GUTFELD: Yes.

BECKEL: It's heavy.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BOLLING: Help here.

BECKEL: Yes, please.

TANTAROS: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

TANTAROS: That's awesome.

BOLLING: Who is it from?

(LAUGHTER)

GUTFELD: It is a new paper back of "Joy of Hate". That's my –

BECKEL: Greg Gutfeld –

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: -- Greg Gutfeld. If you haven't bout these been bought these yet, please go out -- and "Score Card" by Greg Gutfeld. OK, I missed that one along the line. Everybody taking notes now because you can go to Amazon. They're all available, and "The Bible of Unspeakable Truths" by -- you got it, Greg Gutfeld. Greg, I can't tell you how moved I am by this.

GUTFELD: Guess what -- I've ordered this for you. The new book "Not Cool" which comes out in March but I've ordered it so you don't have to pay for it.

BECKEL: I just can't tell you how moved I am. These are going to take place right on the top shelf of my bookshelf. OK. So you all go get these things because when this new book comes out, we're going to promote it for six months. What is it called again?

GUTFELD: It's called "Not Cool."

BECKEL: "Not Cool." Thank you very much, Greg. A appreciate that.

GUTFELD: I couldn't resist it.

TANTAROS: And who is that? Is that to you?

BECKEL: And that is from me.

TANTAROS: I love it, Bob. It is you draped in a Greek flag. Can we get a close up of this? I just don't know where to put this.

PERINO: Wow, how did you think of something –

TANTAROS: And it says, Greek heavy weight boxing champ, Bob Beckel.

BECKEL: That's right. And now you'll see why. You have another thing there.

TANTAROS: Oh, boy.

BECKEL: The Greek flag.

TANTAROS: Opa! Thank you, Bob.

BECKEL: You're very welcome. Yes.

TANTAROS: This is really terrific.

BECKEL: The Greek flag is to put around you when you get in the boxing ring with me. And then this here, your very own Greek boxing gloves. And you and I have been boxing for seven years and so, I figure -- gee, it doesn't look like it fits your hand. Greg, can you do this?

(LAUGHTER)

TANTAROS: At first I thought it said Greg but it says Greek.

BECKEL: I know why it is like that, because you always hit me on the leg like that.

TANTAROS: I do poke you when it is time –

BECKEL: Don't drop your flag. This country is in enough trouble as it is. OK, good.

TANTAROS: OK. Gregory.

BECKEL: That looks like a serious present.

GUTFELD: This is like something that you get in a box. How did you know I wanted paper? I love paper.

BOLLING: It's beautiful paper.

GUTFELD: It's beautiful paper.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: There you go.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: An Adam Levine T-shirt. You know I'm going to be wearing this.

BECKEL: What does it say on the front?

GUTFELD: You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to wear it tomorrow and surprise him.

BOLLING: Did you see the back? Show the back. The back is the best part of that.

GUTFELD: I finished second.

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: Greg, that is all right.

TANTAROS: Greg, the original T-shirt that I wanted to get you was actually Adam Levine basically naked.

GUTFELD: I think I have that one.

TANTAROS: I figured you had a fitted sheet –

BECKEL: You know, how everybody does -- you missed one down there?

TANTAROS: Two more. Santa just delivered two more. OK. Dana.

PERINO: Oh, wow.

GUTFELD: And Eric too.

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: Can I swap these Greg Gutfeld books for that?

(LAUGHTER)

BOLLING: I would trade anything for that.

PERINO: Oh, very fun. This will provide hours and weeks of entertainment. A Chia Willie. Not that kind of a Willie – Willie Robertson.

BOLLING: "Duck Dynasty". By the way –

BECKEL: It grows a beard.

GUTFELD: It sounds like a medical condition.

BOLLING: We ordered this, weeks prior to the –

PERINO: -- to the controversy.

BOLLING: -- to the controversy, yeah.

PERINO: And who wouldn't?

GUTFELD: That looks pretty cool actually.

BECKEL: Is that from you?

BOLLING: The beard grows.

GUTFELD: How ironic. He's growing a beard.

BECKEL: Now who is this?

TANTAROS: This is another one, I'm guessing from you?

BECKEL: Oh, yes. Are you sure you don't want to make a trade here? You get four for one.

TANTAROS: Is this like a statue of the Acropolis or something?

BECKEL: Four for one. Let's do the deal. What is this? See, I went way out on this one.

GUTFELD: You bought something at Brookstone.

BECKEL: I did.

GUTFELD: You are the first person to buy something from Brookstone.

BECKEL: I know.

PERINO: Oh, how cute.

TANTAROS: That is really cute, Bob, slippers – you mean comfortable shoes. I don't own any.

BECKEL: I thought I would give you something serious.

BOLLING: Do you know how cool those are? Right? They have the Temper-Pedic bottom.

PERINO: Yeah you'll never want to take them off. And you know what? They're going to be great for when you finish your mani-pedi, the couples mani-pedi that I'm going to get for you –

BECKEL: And let me just say those cost one-one thousandth of what your shoes cost.

TANTAROS: But they are going to feel lot better, huh?

BECKEL: Yeah, they are. They're going to feel a lot better. You got to go.

TANTAROS: OK.

Coming up on "The Five." Lots of hot movies out this Christmas, "Anchorman 2", "Wolf of Wall Street" and more. We'll tell you what we're going to go see and some of our favorite Christmas movies of all time, up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BOLLING: Welcome back to "The Five's " Christmas special.

A lot of you are heading to the movie theater this holiday. And if you haven't, figure out what to see. We've got some function for you.

First up, my buddy Ron Burgundy back in "Anchorman 2". Here is Ron.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

WILL FERRELL AS RON BURGUNDY: Oh, wow, did you see that, right on the lip.

What's up player? There is a new player. The player's player.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: If you touch Ron again, I will burn your face with a curling iron.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: If you did that, I would be forced to drown you in a dirty fish tank.

FERRELL: Boy, this is awesome.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: I'm definitely going to see that one. And also do we have wolf of Wall Street queued up? Take a look at this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: This right here is the land of opportunity.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You just tried to bribe a federal officer.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: This is America.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: This is my home.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: This is for you, little man.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He is a little man.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The show goes on. They're going to need to send in the National Guard to take me out because I ain't going nowhere.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: They both look good to me.

They also, Greg, what are your thoughts.

GUTFELD: First of all, I don't need to see "Anchorman 2". I've seen it. I mean I've seen so much of it.

And also, that one scene that we saw where he is dating a black woman. I'm tired of the white clumsy guy acting stupid in front of the black family. Aren't you tired of that cliche? I would expect more from what's his face.

What's the question?

BOLLING: Will Ferrell.

GUTFELD: I don't go to movies during the holidays because I don't like going to see movies when people don't go out and they go out and talk to themselves and shouting and kids crying. I like to sit at home and cry.

BOLLING: Your favorite Christmas movie.

GUTFELD: My favorite Christmas movie of all time is "Blue Velvet", the classic David Lynch movie. I'm not sure it is a Christmas movie but for me it reminds me of Christmas because there is a lot of nitrous oxide.

BOLLING: And, Dana, are you planning to see any movies?

PERINO: I like to watch at home, so whatever is available on Netflix or Apple TV, I'll try to catch that. And I have the grandchildren from Scotland are coming, 7-year-old twins, so I have feeling we'll figure out where the Disney Channel is.

And my favorite movie ever, Christmas movie, and I'm serious, Greg, don't grump --

GUTFELD: Don't do it. Don't -- no, no.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: No, worst movie ever. It is not even a real movie.

PERINO: How can it not be a real movie?

GUTFELD: I think you dreamt it.

PERINO: And I love that movie. Jeanne Momma (ph) gave that movie to me, about five years.  I didn't watch it the last two years so I think this year I'm due.

BOLLING: Jeanne Momma?

PERINO: Jeanne Momma gave to me.

BOLLING: Bob, are you going to see more --

BECKEL: The reason this two don't like to go to movie theaters because they can't --

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: Because stand to see guys with baseball caps turned sideways and women that looked like they just walked off the (INAUDIBLE)

BOLLING: What's my favorite movie, my man?

BECKEL: My favorite movie is going to be "The Wolf of Wall Street" because I want people to be exposed about how bad the capital system has ripped us off and only one of them went to jail. There are a lot more that should have gotten more.

BOLLING: We'll see how this works. We give the producers the favorite movie of all time and they pull video of that movie and then we talk about it while they roll the video. And "The Wolf of Wall Street", your favorite movie --

PERINO: No, you had a good one.

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: My favorite movie of all time is "Miracle on 34th Street."

BOLLING: And now we'll roll video of that. And I would agree with that, best Christmas ever.

GUTFELD: I never saw it.

BECKEL: You didn't? Oh, man, you've got to see it. I'll invite you over to see it.

PERINO: That's pretty good, though.

BOLLING: That's good one, too.

You haven't seen "It's a Wonderful Life".

GUTFELD: No, I refuse (ph).

BOLLING: Honestly, that's a timeless movie. You can see that and it will apply to you any time.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: The title to lie.

PERINO: He'll get more use out of the Adam Levine t-shirt.

TANTAROS: Your next book, it is a terrible life.

BOLLING: Are you going to see a movie?

TANTAROS: I probably won't make it to a movie theater but this is what I want to see when it comes out. Definitely "Dallas Buyers Club" with Matthew McConaughey, "American Hustle", I want to see that for sure, and "Wolf of Wall Street" because it's a true and the guy Jordan Belfort was interviewed for "Vanity Fair" and it was fascinating story about drugs and money -- it sounds like Bob' life a little bit.

BECKEL: Yes, I did a lot of that. I'd say that.

BOLLING: They figured out a way to bilk small-time investors, not wealthy people, out of a ton of money. That "Wolf of Wall Street" is pretty darned accurate.

Your favorite movie of all time?

TANTAROS: "White Christmas". Every year, it's a routine. We watch it as a family and I just think it's really good. And that -- it's just classic humor. It's very, very funny. I just love it.

PERINO: It looks like you have movie watching to do.

GUTFELD: You know what was good, the Laurel and Hardy one with the march of the soldiers. Every morning that was on.

BOLLING: Was that movie?

GUTFELD: No, I dreamed.

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: Would you get out today and walk around as Grinch around your neighborhood.

GUTFELD: I think I have the flu. I'm seeing two Bobs.

BOLLING: All right. Very quickly, not my favorite Christmas movie of all time because all of the good ones were taken, but a great, fun movie and in an afternoon, you have nothing to do, watch Fred Claus. It's Vince Vaughn who palys the brother of Santa Claus, but this scene is one of my favorites, the brothers -- famous brothers, and so there is Steven Baldwin, Alec Baldwin's brother, that was Clinton's brother Roger.

GUTFELD: Roger.

BOLLING: And the boxer's brother as well -- Rocky's brother, Stallone brother --

GUTFELD: Frank Stallone.

BOLLIGN: Frank Stallone, and it was more. So, a lot of fun. And they are all in an AA meeting.

TANTAROS: And who doesn't love Vince Vaughn.

GUTFELD: It's kind of like what Grant Beckel has to go through with his brother.

BOLLING: Exactly what I'm going to say.

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: Beckel included in that group.

BECKEL: Yes, he should have. But he turned into a right wing because he listened to you guys.

GUTFELD: I just saw him in "Scandal".

BECKEL: Is he in "Scandal"?

GUTFELD: He played a bereaved father.

BECKEL: I didn't know that.

BOLLING: We need to go. They are telling me we need to go.

Not even Christmas is sacred in the eyes of the president. We'll tell you what he is asking people to do now.

And later, Bob decks his home for the very last time and our cameras followed him again this year. Don't miss the final Christmas Beckel extravaganza coming up.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(NEWSBREAK)

GUTFELD: For the holidays, our president competed that for your Christmas to be merry and bright, include a conversation about ObamaCare, which makes me wonder, would a Republican ever do the same thing? I doubt it. For them politics is never personal. It's just politics. An ugly separate activity one must do to keep the others guys from ruining your lives.

Think about it, if there was no Republican Party, your life would be run by the government. You can't say that if the reverse true. If there were no Democrats, the Republicans would stare at each other and go play golf drunk in their under pants.

But Democrats knew life is an opportunity for more power, which is why Obama would so cluelessly suggest contaminating your private life with public nuance. It's so ingrained in its being, bless him.

Here is a suggestion, Mr. President, for your Christmas, why not include a conversation on Benghazi, "Fast and Furious," The IRS. If you want to make our Christmas political, do the same thing. Discuss people losing their health insurance for no reason or the rampant cronyism in your government? Wait, is that too unsavory for your dinner?

You're absolutely right. It is. And I never ask you to do that. I may be a weirdo, but I'm not a jerk.

Does anybody -- Andrea, when you go and meet with your family, is there anything there that talks politics.

TANTAROS: Yes. ObamaCare did come up during Thanksgiving.  Remember, he ordered us to talk about. It came up because everyone was whining and screaming about how terrible it was, and then it turns this conversation about what a bad president he is and we all get angry and we drink more red wine and we get really drunk and we say inappropriate things to each other.

So, it does come up, believe it or not, but not the way he wants.

GUTFELD: I feel bad for Bob, because you don't drink. The only solution to such issues when you are involved in a political thing is you just drown your sorrows.

BECKEL: I would like to talk about politics. I talk about it all of the time, but I'll be happy to talk about ObamaCare and it is getting better and better and millions of people are signing up.

GUTFELD: What about you, Eric?

BOLLING: They're not paying quite. And most of them are signing up for Medicaid.

So President Obama, you talk about ObamaCare at Christmas. How about this? I'll make you a deal. We'll talk about ObamaCare, if you let us take pictures of what is going on behind the scenes at the White House. He is on vacation right now in Hawaii. Remember there were pictures of him in the surf and eating ice cream.

TANTAROS: Shaved ice.

BOLLING: Right. Shaved ice. Correct. Now, it's a black eye. No one can get pictures of that. I'd like to see what goes on behind the scenes.

GUTFELD: What do you think, Dana, is there certain words you should avoid completely?

TANTAROS: At dinners, family dinners, I think so. I think America needs a timeout, a political break, talk about all sorts of different things.

You know, there's actually even little games you can get where if you need a conversation starter because you can't think of anything else to talk about beside politics, there are tools out there that can help you.

GUTFELD: You know, I play this game where I get a bottle of wine and I find a closet and I close the doors and I drink the bottle.

TANTAROS: It's like seven minutes in heaven, but yourself.

GUTFELD: It's basically four minutes in heaven.

BECKEL: You sound like Christmas and dinners are so wonderful things.

TANTAROS: They are.

BECKEL: I mean, a lot of food gets thrown against each other.

TANTAROS: Well, maybe at your table, you get food --

PERINO: We're going out.

GUTFELD: That is a good thing, to go out.

PERINO: And it is just me and Peter, so I don't think we'll talk politics. We'll just talk about Jasper.

BECKEL: Oh, no.

GUTFELD: He probably can't wait.

Any way, all right. Next, Christmas is a time of giving. I've heard that. And Dana went all the way to the Congo to give you a look at an organization that is worth giving to. She'll take you behind the scenes of her Africa trip, coming up.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: All right. Friends the five will remember my husband and Peter and I took a visit to Africa to visit Mercy Ships, a charitable hospital ship that's on its first mission in Congo. Fox put this package together when we got back.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

PERINO: Getting ready to leave on the trip. Having a scratch and shake.

(MUSIC)

PERINO (voice-over): And off we went to Africa on a more than 6,000- mile journey to be a part of the Mercy Ships first mission to the Congo.

We flew from New York to Frankfurt, Germany, and then Libreville, Gabon, where the plane refueled and then finally to our destination, Pointe Noire, Congo.

Shortly after we arrived, Peter and I were greeted by Mercy Ship founders Don Stephens and his wife Deyon. They launched their faith-based organization in 1978 to help the forgotten poor.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I want to welcome her --

PERINO: Over the past 35 years, Mercy Ships has visited 575 ports in 72 nations. But it's the first time to the Congo and they will be there for the next 10 months. Most people there don't have access to basic medical care and many haven't ever seen a doctor.

On board the floating hospital, I met the man who steers the ship.  Captain Tim Tretheway and took a tour of he bridge. I also met Buck, the 180-pound training and drill exercise dummy. And I even got a tour from the head chef Ken Hatfield from North Carolina.

He and his staff serve anywhere from 1,200 to 1,700 meals a day.

(on camera): When I go home, if I gain any weight, can I call and complain?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You can call it mercy hips instead of Mercy Ships.

PERINO: OK.

(voice-over): The entire crew, including the heroic doctors and nurses, are all volunteers. Nearly half of them from the United States.  And you never know who you might meet. Including the security team of these six Gurkhas (ph). Believe me. The ship's in good hands.

On patient screening day, more including the security team of these six. Believe me. The ship's in good hands. On patient screening day, more than 7,000 people lined up to get care. All patiently waiting to be seen.

Alexandra (ph) is one of the amazing screening nurses. She helps determine whether doctors will be able to treat them.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Hello, sweetie. Hi. Do you want to come with me? OK.

PERINO: She told me about the joy she feels when she knows she will be sending someone through who Mercy Ships will be able to help.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: There is nothing compares to that. When you see a kid or patient come up who you know we are going to be able to help.  So being the first one and being able to say yes, it's saying yes to everything.

PERINO: Perhaps the hardest part of her job is when she has to inform others that there may not be anything Mercy Ships can do for them.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Unfortunately, the problem is caused by a problem that is in his brain. So because of that, it is not something that a surgery will be able to correct.

PERINO: Over the next 10 months, thousands will go through surgery to remove life-threatening tumors or have cleft lip repairs or orthopedic corrections and more.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: One of the most moving things, if you show them quickly on and show them that face in the mirror, they are moved that the face that always caused them shame is now -- they can see it better with the bandages on.

PERINO: There are so many angels aboard the Africa Mercy, like chief medical officer, Dr. Gary Parker, or surgeon, Mark Shrime (ph), or finance director John Wall (ph) to name a few.

I marveled at how they are so devoted.

A lot of people have asked me what was my deepest impression from the week-long trip in the Congo with Mercy Ships. It was a great reminder that kindness is at the heart of humanity. We can all learn a lot from the people who make Mercy Ship's missions possible.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

PERINO: So that brings back great memories. And mercy ships just signed a contract to be build, the largest charity ship ever. Donations have been pouring in since that report.

And in order to say thanks, Peter and I made a donation on behalf of the five equivalent of 10 surgeries that will happen within the next ten months and we got a message from the ship.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TIM TRETHEWAY, CAPTAIN, AFRICA MERCY: On behalf of the crew of the Africa mercy and all of our Mercy Ships, we want to thank the five for their participation and interest in us and we want to wish you a very merry Christmas.

(INAUDIBLE)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: I think she is so cute. What do you think?

GUTFELD: I love it when people make donations on behalf of me.

PERINO: Because then you don't have to? But you don't get to claim it with the IRS.

BECKEL: I think it is a wonderful thing that you did. But these people will be spending their Christmas helping people, and that is what Christmas is about.

PERINO: I think Christmas on the Mercy Ships might be one of the most wonderful, joyous places.

BOLLING: And hats off to you for doing that.

PERINO: And thanks for the FOX support. We appreciate it.

Coming up, don't miss Bob's last Christmas light show at his home in Maryland. Trust me, it is not something you want to miss.

Christmas at Bob's, next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECKEL: Many of you know I look forward to decorating my house in Brookmont Maryland. Every Christmas, it has been an annual tradition for 20 years in Brookmont and other places in Washington. But I'm going to be decorating my apartment in Manhattan from now on. So watch it next year, it will be the lightest and brightest of all of Manhattan.

Cameras followed me as we hung up my lights for the last time. And here you go. It's the end of an era.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

BECKEL: Another day, another Christmas, all righty.

You know, I tell you, I've been doing this for twenty some years now.

I don't suppose I'll miss all the work that goes into it, but I know the kids will miss it and that makes me feel a little bad, but it is a little sad. I bought enough Christmas tree lights to wire Manhattan. They make these things so that they can be absolutely sure that by the time you get to the next Christmas season, they're all broken. Every year, I got to go to the store.

Why would they build anything that lasts? Hell, if they did that, they wouldn't be able to sell everything every year.

Here we go. Help the local economy, buy more lights. All from China.

Another Christmas. A lot more money.

It's about time. Hey, it's my young son, the helper.

This is what it's all about. This display is for all the kids in Brookmont, which is my which is my neighborhood. From the big kid who lives here.

Hi, how are you?

UNIDENTIFIED CHILD: Good.

BECKEL: What do you think? Do you like it? Pretty twinkly. We have a good dog -- it's reindeer. So that --

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh really? You do great job! And it's time that we are putting this wavy!

BECKEL: Well, here we go. This is the end product of a lot of work and we have got to see if this thing will come on. This is the last one we're going to do here in Brookmont. In fact, the last one I'm going to do at a house. And we're going to try this. Three, two --

(MUSIC)

BECKEL: Whoa, it worked! Here you go. By golly, another year, another house - the last time.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

BECKEL: It has been a real pleasure bringing it to the kids in Brookmont and the kids from other neighborhoods that come and see it. It has been my pleasure and makes me a happy man, as soon as I'm done putting, of course, it together.

"One More Thing" is up next. Thank you.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

TANTAROS: It is time for one more thing. Dana, kick it off.

PERINO: Did you know that 62 percent of homeowners in America have a pet?

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: And that over 53 percent of them are going to buy their pet a gift. So, it could be a dog or a cat. Or like Greg has, you know, his parrot that he could maybe buy a gift --

GUTFELD: I don't buy them gifts.

PERINO: Do you know what Jasper is getting?

A 12-pack of tube socks from Walgreens.

BECKEL: That makes sense.

Why don't you get him a Cadillac?

PERINO: Because they don't know. He'll think tube socks are fantastic.

BOLLING: He can't drive.

GUTFELD: I bet Jasper can drive. Jasper can do anything.

PERINO: Jasper is driving this show.

(CROSSTALK)

TANTAROS: Gregory, you are up next.

GUTFELD: Some people might think it is a live show. It taped, only a couple of hours old but I wanted to surprise my mother because I wasn't supposed to be home for Christmas. But I'm actually home for Christmas right now. As we are watching this show because I told her I was busy. I told her I couldn't make.

BOLLING: What do you want to say to yourself?

GUTFELD: I want to say, Greg, that's a stupid collar. Why do you wear these collars? It's giant. It's like a stealth bomber landed on your head.

TANTAROS: You are probably going to be drunk?

GUTFELD: Yes. I am. Right now, I'm going, mom, it is you and that weird guy in the collar. Anyway, merry Christmas mom.

PERINO: That's cute.

TANTAROS: That's sweet.

GUTFELD: I hate to ruin this surprise.

BECKEL: Well, I'll be back home for Christmas today -- this morning, we had our first Christmas opening of presents. And now my two kids are coming over.

But most importantly, I want to thank Santa, because Santa is worldwide, making the world a better and happier place for big questions and little kids and I'm a firm believer in Santa's mystique and Santa being an important person.

TANTAROS: Nice. Go Santa.

Eric?

BOLLING: All right. I was going to put up a picture frame. Don't put it up. People don't get a lot of thanks, so I want to say thanks and merry Christmas to our producers, Mina Pertesis, Tommy Firth, Josh McCarroll, Sean O'Rourke.

GUTFELD: Not Sean.

BOLLING: Yes, Sean.

And our senior executive producer, Porter Berry. Merry Christmas to you guys. You've done a great job.

GUTFELD: They did OK.  I don't think they did great.

BOLLING: There is always room for improvement.

GUTFELD: Yes, there is room yes, if you say great, then they're going to think, oh I don't have to do that --

BOLLING: Pretty good. Next year could be better.

GUTFELD: I don't know who is good. Maybe average?

TANTAROS: We have the best team at the Fox News Channel.

GUTFELD: Well, maybe, I don't know.

TANTAROS: Well you had a "Red Eye" team. I just think "The Five" is the best.

OK. This is a picture, since you didn't put up a picture of your dog.

BECKEL: Oh, more dogs? How do you got dogs?

TANTAROS: Bob, look at this picture. My sister texted me this last night and it is a yellow lab and it says, "I ate the elf on a shelf", and the German shepherd next to them said, "I helped because he's creepy."

PERINO: They were shaming them.

BECKEL: Why don't you take all of your dogs on a cruise like a right around --

TANTAROS: Like a doggy cruise?

BECKEL: Yes, but just get them out of here.

TANTAROS: I bet there is something like that.

BOLLING: You wanted something nice for Christmas. If you have the ability to do it, go rescue a dog. There are so many dogs that need to be rescued. It's a great time to do it.

GUTFELD: I'd have to put them in jeopardy, just so I can rescue them.

BECKEL: I'd be happy to pay somebody to rescue one.

(LAUGHTER)

TANTAROS: One year my family didn't give each other gifts --

BOLLING: You can do that.

(LAUGHTER)

TANTAROS: I was saying something nice about giving to charity.

BECKEL: I am fine. I'll give to charity, and give them a dog bummed out.

TANTAROS: Give to a military charity.

(CROSSTALK)

TANTAROS: Before we go, we want to wish you all a very merry Christmas and to all of our troops that have gone into harm's way for our country, thanks for joining us tonight, everyone. Merry Christmas.

BECKEL: Merry Christmas to all of you dogs out there too.