This is a rush transcript from "The Five," December 23, 2013. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Merry eve of Christmas Eve. I'm Bob Beckel, along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Eric Bolling, Dana Perino and Greg Gutfeld.
It's 5:00 in New York City. And this is "The Five".
(VIDEO CLIP PLAYS, "The Five"'S CHRISTMAS JIBJAB)
BECKEL: Who were those people?
It's my favorite time of year. The family gets together, and some relatives you want to see and some you don't. Everyone is in good spirits.
The kids especially, the little ones can't wait for Santa to come down the chimney.
But things can be also a little chaotic this time of year. If you procrastinated you know what I'm talking about. The last-minute shopping, the good news is there is a lot of cool stuff to choose from out there.
(VIDEO CLIP PLAYS, COOL CHRISTMAS COMMERCIALS)
BECKEL: OK, now, Eric, let me start with you. Did you like any of those ads particularly?
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Yes, I like the second one.
BECKEL: The one with the guy --
BOLLING: Joe Boxers.
BECKEL: I got trouble with that one before.
BOLLING: You got in trouble with that one. We went around the table and said boxer briefs --
BECKEL: Are you ready for Christmas?
BOLLING: Do you want to talk about you saying nothing. We lost it.
BECKEL: Yes, we did, didn't we? Never mind you.
Dana, have you done all of your Christmas shopping?
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: I did something that I think a lot of women do which is I went to get my husband a present today to make sure I was ready for Christmas, and I bought three things for myself: because they were on sale.
And I'm wearing one -- I shouldn't have said this because he's probably watching.
There will be something under the tree for him, I just don't know what it's going to be. I thought the commercials this year weren't as annoying as other years. I like the Home Depot commercial. We didn't show that one.
Like the Apple one, it's pretty good. Good year.
BECKEL: We'll look at the Apple one, but first, let me look at this apple.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: You know, I'm looking at that Joe Boxer ad with the men in the boxers, I just want to make a point. It is called Christmas Eve, not Christmas Steve. It makes me sick to my stomach the way this country is going. It's offensive to me.
PERINO: Are you joking?
GUTFELD: I could say I'm joking yes. I like people not to know.
OK, a couple of thoughts here. One, why doesn't someone come up with a delivery wrapping van, a van that comes to your house like a food truck and wraps your presents, because I can't do it. And I don't want to buy the wrapping stuff. Just somebody come and do it for me like a food truck that wraps gifts.
The other thing, there are millions of people like you. I went shopping on Saturday, 90 percent of the people were buying stuff for themselves. And I'm like, can't you just wait for a month so jerks like us could get through our Christmas shopping?
BECKEL: Greg, you ought to shop online and you check the thing that says wrap.
PERINO: Not every -- but, see, retailers are not consistent in the wrapping and gift message part. That's where online shopping could improve.
BECKEL: Well, I'll tell you -- how about you, are you all set? Are you ready?
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Yes.
BECKEL: How is your son, by the way?
GUILFOYLE: He is doing very well. Thank you. And we picked out a Christmas tree and then I went to go get lights, like we're all sold out light to make -- you have no Christmas light. Like, sorry, man, I ran around to every place I can get. So, we got some red, some green and some white. We got all colors. So, it's good.
BECKEL: Do you decorate your house?
BOLLING: Inside, yes, quite a bit.
BOLLING: Where are you going with this?
PERINO: We're talking about Christmas.
BECKEL: You mentioned the controversial ads. Let's bring the Apple commercial up here.
(VIDEO CLIP PLAYS, APPLE AD)
GUILFOYLE: Very cute.
BECKEL: That's heart-warming I guess.
GUTFELD: What? What's the point? Why are we doing this? What a waste of time. We're doing -- people come to watch the show, not to look at stupid commercials. What was that about?
BOLLING: Can I say on the other side of that?
BOLLING: Let me -- I have a 15-year-old who spends his whole time, whenever we are at dinner, wherever we are, he's like this, right?
And so what that was, was that was the kid who removed himself from what was going on from the family. Meanwhile, what he had been doing was videographing or videotaping all of the nice things that were going on in his family.
GUILFOYLE: And he put it together.
BOLLING: That's one of the ads when I literally welled up when I saw it because I didn't get it. But when you see it at the end, you're like, whoa.
GUTFELD: You cried?
BECKEL: The only thing I know for sure, is my kid is still going to be texting and not paying any attention to me.
What about you, Dana?
PERINO: I thought the commercial was good the first two times I saw it.
On the 18th time I've seen it, I'm tired of the morose teenager.
BECKEL: You are? OK.
GUILFOYLE: But you sit next to one.
BECKEL: Kimberly, we're going to skip the Grinch until the end here.
GUILFOYLE: No, I love the commercial. I thought it was great for Apple.
GUTFELD: They need all the help they can get with advertising because they are doing so poorly.
GUILFOYLE: Oh my gosh. I thought it was -- I love Christmas. I like the fact that no matter what's happening in your life, you actually have to stop, slow down, and think about other people and the true meaning of Christmas and the blessing of Jesus. And I think that is a very nice thing
BECKEL: Greg, now, you stepped on that. Go ahead.
PERINO: Christmas jeez.
GUTFELD: I don't know -- what you already, I find the whole thing nauseating. No, Christmas, I just find the idea of watching commercials on a TV show stupid. Commercials, they pay to be on programs, they pay you.
You don't do it for free. Especially Apple, they make -- they are the most
-- the richest country -- business on the country which --
BECKEL: I had liberal professors.
You like Jimmy Fallon, right? Here's Jimmy Fallon did a little --
GUILFOYLE: Can you cheer up?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JIMMY FALLON, COMEDIAN: So, should I call you a cab?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Baby, it's cold outside.
FALLON: You know, it's really not that bad.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It's cold outside.
FALLON: You can still catch the bus.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I'm going to make breakfast for us.
FALLON: It's just two blocks away.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Tomorrow, we'll hang out all day.
FALLON: I have an early thing tomorrow.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Got a toothbrush I can borrow.
FALLON: I have a meeting at my work.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The guy (INAUDIBLE)
FALLON: You really can't stay.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It's starting to storm out.
FALLON: But baby, it's warm outside.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BECKEL: I do not have a clue what that was about.
PERINO: She wants to stay the night and he doesn't want her to stay the night so they sing a song about it.
BECKEL: That's not what I would do. I would just throw her out.
GUILFOYLE: Like bye-bye -- well, you have a different arrangement.
BECKEL: What is that all about it?
GUILFOYLE: The fans.
BECKEL: OK. Well, speaking of arrangements, Eric, you did the show before.
BECKEL: Look, I'm doing the best I can here.
GUTFELD: You're doing break.
BECKEL: This is a very big deal. So, you want to talk about ObamaCare?
BOLLING: Can I be honest with you? If ObamaCare had Apple advertisers in the P.R. department, they might be able to sell that --
PERINO: We're going to talk about ObamaCare in the next block.
BECKEL: We are?
BECKEL: OK, we're going to deal with it.
See, I was hoping we would get through this. That is why they put me on the front end before we got to take ObamaCare.
PERINO: Can I ask you a question?
BECKEL: Yes, go ahead.
PERINO: OK. When you opened the show, you said there are some relatives that you want to see and there are some that you don't want to see.
PERINO: What relatives do you not want to see?
BECKEL: They are all dead, from drinking. So --
PERINO: I was going to show who will show up.
BECKEL: No, there's a few I'd like to see. I enjoy most of them.
GUTFELD: But that's a good -- you know, the only way that I can shop is to drink. Like Saturday before I went out, I went to a bar, had two huge glasses of wine because that is the only way I can stomach going into large department stores and I bought quite possibly the worst gift I've ever purchased and I have no idea what I'm going to do.
BOLLING: Call that sputter is it?
GUTFELD: This was a gift from FOX News.
GUILFOYLE: Dana --
BECKEL: And, Greg, you said this is going on too long.
Directly ahead, the president makes a couple of surprise moves on ObamaCare. Ed Henry has the latest and he'll join us here.
Plus, "Duck Dynasty" Phil Robertson may not be breaking down -- or backing down.
Excuse me. Look, I just started, give me a break, will you? I'm doing my best. They give me the A-block and what do I got? Commercials and Greg going nuts.
We'll tell you what he's saying.
Before we go, my good friends and co-hosts Andrea Tantaros and Juan Williams as you've never seen them before.
(VIDEO CLIP PLAYS, JIBJAB)
PERINO: So, today was supposed to be the deadline day for most Americans to sign up for ObamaCare. But the administration has just expended that to tomorrow -- that's Bob's phone -- on Christmas Eve, in anticipation of, quote, "high demand".
BECKEL: I'm sorry, man.
PERINO: Meanwhile, over the weekend, Democratic Senator Joe Manchin once again called for a delay of the individual mandate, warning of disasters if there isn't enough time for the rollout.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SEN. JOE MANCHIN (D), WEST VIRGINIA: Here's at the end of the day, if it's so much more expensive than we anticipated and that the coverage isn't as good as we've had, you've got a complete meltdown at that time. So this transitional year gives you a chance to adjust the market and to see if the market will absorb and buy the product. It falls at its own weight and basically the cost becomes more than we can absorb.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: But according to President Obama, everything is just fine.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: The basic structure of that law is working, despite all the problems. Despite the Web site problems, despite the messaging problems, despite all of that, it's working.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: We learned today that the president himself has just enrolled for a bronze plan that the White House admits will never be used any way because he gets healthcare from his employer.
For more on that news, let's bring in chief White House correspondent and one of our favorite guests, Ed Henry, from Washington.
BECKEL: Speak for yourself.
PERINO: Ed Henry is one of our favorite guests.
ED HENRY, FOX NEWS CHIEF WHITE CORRESPONDENT: What does Bob have against me? I don't like that.
PERINO: No one is against you. We are all for you, Ed Henry.
HENRY: Thank you.
GUTFELD: I hate you. I hate you, Ed.
PERINO: Ed, can you bring us up to speed on what the White House is thinking and what are they doing? Are they completely disconnected or do they think that they are on strong footing going into 2014?
HENRY: In private, they are realistic, more realistic than they are publicly. You won't be surprised to learn to say to me candidly that they are still nervous. That while they keep saying the Web site is getting better, they're nervous it's going to breakdown again because they just don't know. They have been burned before. They also are cautiously optimistic that the benefits of the law are going to start kicking in.
And so, while this is this glass half empty feeling among the president's critics, they still have the glass half full. That if you can get past these bumps and these are big bumps, just not tiny little speed bumps, they are hoping this thing is going to turn around.
We're going to find out in the next few weeks frankly while it's going to play out over the next six, eight, 10 months. The next week or two, we're going to find out whether these enrolments are for real, or, whether, you know, the 2 million people the president touted, if some of them on January
1 or 2 go to the -- and find out the premium didn't make it to the insurance company and they're not really insured, quote/unquote, "being enrolled" is a sham and he'll have a problem on his hands when you have Democrats like Joe Manchin saying we could be headed for a meltdown.
Now, he's a conservative Democrat. He's never been a fan of this president, we should know that. But nonetheless, he's a Democrat who's saying that this thing could be headed for a meltdown. They've got to pay attention to that.
PERINO: And, in fact, let's listen to one more person before we turn it over to Eric. He's going to ask you a question. This is Robert Gibbs echoing similar sentiments on "Meet The Press" yesterday.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DAVID GREGORY, NBC NEWS: This is a test, Robert, of big progressive government solving a big societal problem. That's what he took on. That is a big project of his presidency.
ROBERT GIBBS, FORMER WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY: No doubt about it. I would say this is the worst year the presidency does beat out 2011.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: So, I'm going to turn it over to Eric who's going to ask you a question and maybe you can comment on that ad.
BOLLING: So, it really strikes me. Here is the most transparent president in the world and it was going to be that way, but then again he signed up for ObamaCare but it turns out he didn't because he doesn't have to.
It's almost -- it's a joke. It is becoming a charade. The American people have to look at this go and we don't know what's going on. They delay the employer mandate, they delay parts of the individual mandate, there are waivers.
The law has become a shambles. We don't even know what it is. What are the rules? We don't have any idea what is going on.
BECKEL: Is there a question in there somewhere?
BOLLING: The question is, Ed, how are they're going to handle this? Is there any salvaging this for the administration?
HENRY: Yes, they still believe there is. Look, I think Chuck Todd asked a question, the other day, which is, you know, he didn't quite go as far as you just did a moment ago, but he said, look, you're the president who keep saying we've got to stop the Republicans from repealing the law, you're basically repealing the law on your own piece by piece.
The president, of course, pushed back on that as you played in that bite earlier, and said, look, the core of this law is still there. But there are real questions about whether the core is that strong. When you add up net-net, how many people have enrolled and again, we still have to see if they're going to have insurance in January, maybe most of them will.
But when you subtract the folks who lost their plans, what's the net-net here in terms of how many, quote/unquote, "new people" have actually gotten health insurance. So, if the goal here is to add millions more to the rolls, are they going to be able to show that in the next two or three months?
PERINO: All right. Bob is next.
BECKEL: Ed, it's really nice to see you and I was really only kidding. I think you are a great guest.
And, by the way, can you tell me, has the president played golf yet in Hawaii?
HENRY: Yes, I think he's played, at least, this is his second round. He is out on the golf course as we speak. Live, local and late-breaking, he's out on the course.
BECKEL: OK. And has he gotten his Christmas shopping done?
HENRY: You know, I didn't ask him that question. I know his new year's resolution is he is trying to be nicer to the White House president corps.
I'm not sure, I mean, I think he's honest and trustworthy but I don't think he really meant that.
PERINO: Bob's questions are about as hard as the White House press corps'
questions to Obama.
BECKEL: I was trying to see if I had any luck of changing the topic.
Go ahead, Kimberly.
GUILFOYLE: OK. I have a serious question about the compliance and enforcement. If we're not going to have an ability to really fund this, a lot of people that even signed up, they won't have the insurance coverage because if the payments haven't gone through, then I'm expecting sometime before the State of the Union, we're going to hear the IRS or someone else doesn't have the man power or the personnel to be able to enforce the individual mandate.
Is there discussion about that, yet another delay?
HENRY: Yes. And I think there are two points I would make. One is, this is really what Democrat Joe Manchin is getting at.
You know, he used the world meltdown and that sound bite gets picked up but behind that is a real policy he is pushing, which is he saying there should be a delay of up to a year for the penalty for the fine, for the individual mandate, because he is saying, look, if folks have problems with the Web site or if now they're having problems getting -- once they've gotten on the Web site, but the paperwork is not going to get to the insurance company in time, how can you have the IRS penalize people, how can you have to fine people if they're trying to get health care and they can't do it.
That is a real question that this White House has not confronted yet, number one. And number two, that's the Democrat saying that. I'll give you what Republican was saying today, Fred Upton, wanted the House Republicans who's been leading these hearings, proving, you know, the botched rollout part of this. He said, today, look now they are changing by 24 hours, you know, the sign-up from today to tomorrow for people that are queued, he said, what's next? What's the next holiday surprise?
And you have to wonder, say Christmas Eve or the 26th or the 27th when a lot of people might not be paying attention, are there more changes in the works? We don't know yet but I think that's something we could watch for.
PERINO: Greg, you said earlier that the only way that you could go Christmas shopping is that if you have a lot to drink. How about shopping for ObamaCare? Do you recommend it?
GUTFELD: Well, I want to answer Bob's question about has President Obama bought his presents? He doesn't buy them. He distributes. You know?
But I want to make a statement and then a question. ObamaCare reminds me -
- I had a friend in college that had a 1974 Honda Civic in which there were more fixes to the car than the actual car. He had like the blinking license plate, he had mud flaps, racing decals, hydraulic lifts and spoilers, at the end of this machinery, there was nothing left but this stuff which is what ObamaCare is.
So here is my suggestion, remember that Harvard kid two weeks ago during finals. In order to get out of finals, he called in a bomb threat -- should President Obama called in a bomb threat on ObamaCare? Just get out of it and say, oh, my God, it's a disaster and leave?
BECKEL: He just broke the law.
GUTFELD: Yes, that was a metaphorical.
HENRY: Greg, you often have me about 85 percent of the way in and then on the last 15 percent you go off the runway with this bomb threat.
GUTFELD: I know he I mean, like he could call in and say it is over and done.
BOLLING: We could start a war. Take a shot at Iran.
HENRY: Look, I think what he can do is have to try to grind this out.
What they started out with was a grand vision they had. You know, all of the levers they were pulling and this was the perfect law. Of course, there were going to be minor tweaks here and there. But they thought they had it and it was going to add millions of people.
Instead what we found is it's not all there and they have been tweaking and tweaking and retweaking, and I think they'll have to do some more over the next 30-60 days because there's going to be a whole host of issues we don't know yet.
For example, the White House continues to say, you know, the plans that were lost were the folks who bought their own plans, whatever, that the 85 percent of employer based is fine. I've talked to various small business people around the country who keep telling me they are getting irate calls and emails from employees because their plans didn't largely change but on the other hand, their deductibles have gone from $400 a year to $2,000 a year. Or some number like that.
And so, once the folks that have employer-based care that wasn't supposedly not touched pay more out of their pocket every time they their kids to the doctor in January and February, that could be another problem the White House is not dealing with yet.
GUTFELD: They are not tweaking, they are twerking.
PERINO: I was going to say that.
PERINO: I'm sure, Ed, that the speechwriters are having a blast writing the State of the Union speech during this holiday.
Thanks so much for coming, Ed, and merry, merry Christmas.
HENRY: Merry Christmas. Thanks for having me.
GUTFELD: Bye, Ed.
PERINO: All right. Coming up, several new "Duck Dynasty" developments over the weekend, including a new statement from the duck patriarch under fire Phil Robertson. Find out what he is saying, next.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
LIL' WILL: So, what are we going to do next?
PHIL ROBERTSON, DUCK DYNASTY: We're going to wait approximately 10 minutes for the low fire into that.
LIL' WILL: Ten minutes?
ROBERTSON: You've got to wait, wait, wait. Good things come to those who are waiting patiently.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You know how bored they get in --
ROBERTSON: Yes, that's why it's a good lesson learned.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: -- over the weekend, patriarch Phil Robertson who was suspended by A&E for his comments about sexuality spoke out on his own defense.
Robertson says he's, quote, "a lover of humanity and not a hater."
Now also over the weekend, there was a big reversal by Cracker Barrel, the restaurant initially decided to pull "Duck Dynasty" merchandise from its shelves but after an uproar from customers it issued this statement.
Quote, "You told us we made a mistake and we listened. Today we are putting all of the `Duck Dynasty' products back in the store and we apologize for offending you."
OK. So, this is a good reversal. You like that? That's what you call a pro, baby.
GUILFOYLE: Bolling, since you were talking to me, you're up first.
BOLLING: That was really well done.
OK. So, here's over the weekend, A&E got heat and they got a comment saying they will continue to run the episodes that are already in the can with Phil. We expected that.
Cracker Barrel pulled items off their shelves and within 48 hours put them back on and apologized.
Now, here's the issue. They apologized and said, look, we made a mistake and answered to the free market, they did everything right. But there are people out there who said stick it to Cracker Barrel. They weren't there.
They made a big mistake in the first place.
I say don't stick it to Cracker Barrel. It is a good company and they admitted to making a mistake. America is about second chances.
BECKEL: Exactly. Have you ever been in a Cracker Barrel?
BOLLING: I have. It's fantastic.
BECKEL: I don't know why they missed it, but every one of those people in there would be "Duck Dynasty" people.
BOLLING: Listen, the founder, Mr. Evins, I know Mr. Evins, before he passed away. Great man. He would never pull the products. Had he been alive, that wouldn't happen.
GUILFOYLE: He's right.
BOLLING: But let cut him some slack. They made a mistake, they admitted to a mistake, Bob, we all make mistakes, right? That is a free market adjust itself.
All right. Dana, making faces.
PERINO: I'm tired of the story.
GUIFOYLE: Oh, you are?
GUTFELD: Boo hoo. What do you want to talk about? Dogs.
PERINO: I think people are underestimating how sensitive many people were to the comment and that they were hurt by them, OK? So then I also think that I can't judge anybody else, because I've got plenty of my own sins I've got to deal with and I'll deal with that with God.
I think people are ready for Christmas and to move on from this. A&E is not going to pull the show, Creighton Barrel --
GUTFELD: Cracker Barrel.
PERINO: Yes, Creighton --
PERINO: They don't have oatmeal there.
They have serving dishes.
PERINO: I think that people are ready to --
GUILFOYLE: OK, but real quick, from a communication perspective, do you like the way Cracker Barrel handled it and said we made a mistake, and we listened to our consumers and now this is what we're going to do?
PERINO: I don't know. I think that here's -- for a lot of these companies, they don't talk to the P.R. people before they make a decision like that. It's always after the fact.
Remember when the airline that charged veterans coming home from Afghanistan extra charges for their bags, and that was a huge P.R.
nightmare, nobody talks to the P.R. people before they make a policy decision, that's always after the fact.
GUIFOYLE: That's why I ask you the communication question.
GUILFOYLE: And to the purple person over there.
GUTFELD: I wish I made this point but my friend Gavin did. I was talking to him this morning, and he said, could you find anybody less obscure than Phil Robertson if he didn't have "Duck Dynasty"?
He lives in a swamp. He doesn't talk to anybody, he lives his own life.
It wasn't until "Duck Dynasty" came out that he became famous. So it's not like he was walking -- he walks down the street with a sign with his beliefs, telling everybody what he does.
GUILFOYLE: He's a private swamp person.
GUTFELD: Yes, he eats and kills frogs. So, I mean, it doesn't bother anybody. These are his opinions. These are not his actions. I think that is probably the most interesting thing.
GUILFOYLE: I want to get my friend Bob in.
BECKEL: You walked down the street carrying a sign. America, love it or leave it.
PERINO: And nobody can see it.
BECKEL: All of you professors get out, you are all deported. I agree with Dana, I think we've run this baby into the ground.
GUILFOYLE: OK. Let's run it some more.
GUTFELD: But we don't have a story yet to replace it.
GUILFOYLE: Yes, we do. I have another one coming out that you sent out as a pitch.
GUTFELD: Oh, that's right.
GUILFOYLE: A P.R. executive at a media company sends a tasteless tweet before taking off to Africa and it's fired before she even landed. What she wrote that got her canned. That's directly ahead. Stay with us.
GUTFELD: Friday night, a P.R. flack named Justine Sacco tweeted a tasteless joke as she was boarding a flight. It read, "Going to Africa, hope I don't get AIDS, just kidding, I'm white."
The blog BuzzFeed tweeted it as the worst feed of all time and as Sacco took off, she was completely unaware that down below on Earth, her world was disappearing. When she arrived in South Africa like 12 hours later, she's already been fired, unaware, all without a single chance to defend herself. Countless articles had already been cataloguing her demise as Internet mobs cheered.
In this modern world where bullying is condemned by famous names and faces, the true definition of bullying is sensing an opening and taking it many did.
And did her tweet require firing? Probably. I thought it was a commentary at how bad blacks have it when it comes to AIDS. But she's in P.R., so she should know better.
I'm sure if a left-wing comic has said this, though, many would have chuckled.
But, look, you don't need pitch forks to form a mob. Just a junky blood thirst and an ignorance that you could be next. Watching the Web, waiting for Justine to land as they knitted a news, I came to one conclusion, when left to their own devices, literally, humans are creeps.
She apologized, a written statement saying she was insensitive to this crisis and was ashamed of making this AIDS joke.
K.G., should she have been fired?
GUILFOYLE: Yes, because sometimes sorry isn't good enough. I learned that from Ronin.
GUILFOYLE: You know, you can say sorry for something but it's just not going to cut it. How do you even think like that or say something so re reprehensible about a disease that has killed so many especially in Africa where certain parts are impoverished. You have children dying and children being born with AIDS. It's really nothing to joke about.
GUTFELD: I know. But the thing is maybe, Dana, I misread this joke, but I thought it was more of a white privilege analysis commentary on --
PERINO: White guilt.
GUTFELD: Yes, white guilt. Like we don't have this problem and they do.
PERINO: I thought you and I talk about that on Friday night when the tweet first broke and I said, Susan Sarandon, I said, well, don't you think she meant this? You said, yes, I think that's what she meant.
GUTFELD: It doesn't matter, though.
PERINO: (INAUDIBLE) she wrote is very good. I think as a P.R. executive, implementing a strategy to apologize, that was pretty good. But judgment is questionable. But I do think it reminded us we are all basically one tweet away from being fired.
PERINO: But this also is new H.R. territory. What are the policies? What are the lines drawn?
Can people have personal --
GUTFELD: If you do more Jasper junk, you could get fired from "The Five".
PERINO: I don't release those any more. Public collection.
GUTFELD: I knew it.
BOLLING: So, I had the same reaction. Like this is white privilege.
She's being maybe not funny -- don't try to be funny if you are not funny.
But there were other tweets that I read. She is like a repeat offender.
At one point, she made a joke about her and a handicap person and #fml -- look it up if you don't know what that means.
So, yes, everyone deserves a second chance but do you deserve a third and fourth.
GUILFOYLE: But she's not so innocent. She's a recidivist of bad taste and bad jokes, and inappropriate comments.
GUTFELD: I like recidivist. That is a great word.
She also said something, remember, she was on the plane and she talked about the body odor of a German. So, she clearly has a fixation on other cultures --
PERINO: She'll have a job with a reality show in about 20 minutes.
BECKEL: She's got -- she is in public relations and there is no excuse. I don't believe it is white guilt. I think she has a race problem and deserved to be fired and probably deserves -- well, let her go on. You don't say something like that.
AIDS have devastated that country.
BECKEL: And the idea that some P.R. flack would say something like that is just beyond comprehensive. I'm mobbing up against her.
PERINO: She wasn't a low-level staffer. She's had a substantial job as a director. She had a lot of responsibility, a lot of clients, and a lot of paying her a lot of money for her public relations judgment.
GUTFELD: Do you think because she was flying she was on -- you know, did a little pill, and then -- because I mean, she tweets like, can I get in trouble if I tweet while inebriated.
PERINO: She was looking for attention. She has 574 followers before this.
GUILFOYLE: And now --
PERINO: She doesn't have a job.
GUTFELD: She has more followers and no job.
PERINO: Right, which in today's world might be a success.
All right. Coming up, there is nothing worse than another boring family Christmas card. Well, maybe there is something worse. This.
Stay tuned for the most obnoxious -- they're called the Holderness (ph) family. God, I despise them. The Christmas jammy's next, it made me throw up.
Plus, we plug more of "Saturday Night Live", despite it being up against "RED EYE". You'll see that when we return.
BOLLING: Welcome back, everybody. Three fetching topics, 7 fleeting minutes and one fired-up host. Today we bring you the funny, the fun and the feel good. We start with the funny. In fact the really, really funny.
Check out "Saturday Night Live," Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon rapping as competitive package wrapping mascots. Hilarious. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, SINGER (rapping): This is my style. I think it's very vital.
JIMMY FALLON, LATE-NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST (rapping): To wrap...
TIMBERLAKE: ... a gift.
FALLON: It's tricky. Here we go.
TIMBERLAKE: It's tricky to wrap a gift. You wrap your print (ph). You make it work. It's tricky.
FALLON: It's tricky. It's tricky.
TIMBERLAKE: It's tricky to wrap a gift. You can roll up and lose its shape. It's tricky.
FALLON: It's tricky. It's tricky.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: I love it.
BOLLING: J.T.'s rapping. J.T.'s rapping.
GUILFOYLE: I want that dancing, rapping job.
BOLLING: Timberlake, that's a occurring character for Timberlake, but if you add Fallon, you can't beat that.
GUILFOYLE: They have really good chemistry together, kind of like this group. And they even play off each other well. Clever lyrics, dancing.
It just shows if you have some talent and ability you can make anything look kind of good.
BECKEL: To make that look good, it takes a lot of talent. I don't get it.
I mean -- And who are they supposed to represent? Is this supposed to be like...
GUILFOYLE: They are packages.
BOLLING: Wrapping packages.
BECKEL: I order mine wrapped online.
PERINO: Their hands look like the guy from Hamburger Helper.
PERINO: And as a rapper, I would say that that was OK.
GUILFOYLE: Run DMC (ph).
Got to make a comeback album. How about Beyonce made a new album. Your fans are waiting.
GUTFELD: Is there anything on that could be -- competes with The Five"
that we like? Anything on? Anything? What's on at 5? You DVR and you watch that. What's 5 p.m. on CNN, is that good?
PERINO: I like to DVR, because I can watch it over and over.
GUTFELD: In your secret shrine.
GUILFOYLE: Because you know what is on it anyway.
BOLLING: You want this one or you want to move on?
GUTFELD: No, you can move on.
BOLLING: I can move on? OK, next, this family's video...
GUTFELD: I hate this one.
BOLLING: You're up first. Has gone viral. Twelve million views. Family tossing their day jobs to start a production company. Their first gig:
their own video starring the whole family. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: People in the front yard night and day. And the neighbors walk by, and this is what they say.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Are those Christmas jammies?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: They are Christmas jammies.
Check it out. We just bought a Prius B, and it matches these perfectly.
We're wearing Christmas jammies.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: All right, Craig, you are first.
GUTFELD: Yes. If you watch the whole thing, it can be really upsetting.
I don't like novelty cards, but I don't like that, especially - he's using his family in a way to start a business.
GUILFOYLE: This is a bust.
GUTFELD: He used to be a news actor. She's an actress, which you find out through the whole video, because he's selling, essentially, his family and his business making viral videos. So this wasn't really a Christmas card; it was just an opportunity for him to make money, which as a free market guy, all the power to him. I just never want to see it again.
BOLLING: Your thoughts on this one, D.?
PERINO: I'm just trying to imagine my family back in Colorado, us doing something like this, and I can't visualize it. Now Jasper...
GUILFOYLE: You can have leg warmers and a deer hat, and he's rapping it out. I love it.
BECKEL: I think it's horrible. It's just horrible. I mean this guy -- this guy wants to start a company? He ought to go back to banking.
PERINO: No, he was a news anchor.
BOLLING: Well, you know, he's a news anchor. She's an actress. That's a great point. She was an actress. But they put together a production company, and guess what? Twelve million views, and we're talking about it.
PERINO: How many people bought the jammies?
GUILFOYLE: I just don't like the stripes the way they were.
BOLLING: It was a little disturbing.
GUILFOYLE: And the whole bottom part of it, it's weird.
BOLLING: Well, let's do this one. Now the feel good. So many heartwarming stories this Christmas season. Here's one we all felt was really nice. Watch this young man as he realizes he's been accepted into Clemson University. Watch.
PERINO: So cool.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It says congratulations.
RION HOLCOMBE, ACCEPTED TO CLEMSON LIFE PROGRAM: I got accepted?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: "Pleased to inform you of your acceptance into the Clemson Life Program, for the fall of 2014, beginning August 17, 2014.
HOLCOMBE: They said yes?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: They said yes. What do you say?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: I love it.
BOLLING: That is Rion Holcombe.
PERINO: I love it. And I love it that schools seem to -- they're accepting students earlier, like right before Christmas you can find out.
And it didn't work out for everybody for their first choice, but a lot of families can breathe a little easier this Christmas, knowing that their kid got into the college of their dreams. This is a good one.
GUILFOYLE: It is super exciting, I like Clemson. Andrea's (ph) husband was a quarterback there. It's a great school, and I'm so happy that Rion is going to be able to go there. And it's really a joyful moment for the family. I love it.
BECKEL: I'll tell you, what I like about it is not only the looking at this, but Clemson has a special program for kids who are challenged like this and they take 50 a year. And they give them special classes, but they give them a chance to get a college degree. And I give Clemson a lot of credit for it.
GUILFOYLE: I love it.
BOLLING: Don't do it. Don't say something mean.
GUTFELD: I knew you guys were going -- I was going to say I hate this, because I could never get into Clemson. It was nice, very nice.
GUILFOYLE: Clemson is in South Carolina.
PERINO: Well, not when you say it like that.
GUTFELD: I'm not a sentimental person, I can't help it.
GUILFOYLE: Clemson is in South Carolina.
BECKEL: We missed that, Greg.
GUTFELD: It's nice. It's very nice. If you're going to make something nice, it's easy for that.
BOLLING: Very good. Let's leave it at that.
PERINO: That was very touching.
BOLLING: One More Thing up next.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, I like it when you have this slot.
BECKEL: Back for "One More Thing." We're going to start with the Grinch or Mr. Potter. If you remember "It's a Wonderful Life." Greg.
GUTFELD: I loved Mr. Potter. He was awesome.
You know, it's the holidays, which means a lot of times you get invited to holiday parties with the Internet. It's always evites. Evites allow people to say they're going. Sometimes a lot of people will use the RSVP to say that they're not going. Hence...
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: I hate these people!
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: These are the people -- these are the people that tell you why they can't make the party, i.e., "Oh, I'm sorry. I'll be skiing in Aspen.
Oh, I'm parachuting in Sweden. The family is deep sea diving in Australia." They use the party invitation as an excuse to rub your face in all the fun things they do.
I hate these people. I hate them. You know, if you're not going to a party, just say, "I ain't going. I wish I could go." Don't tell us that you and the nanny are going to the wine country with a gorilla.
PERINO: You forgot soup kitchen.
GUTFELD: Oh, yes. "I'll be volunteering."
PERINO: That would be a good one. That drives me crazy, too. You can't one-up from that.
BECKEL: Dana, can you say that you're not? Go ahead.
PERINO: I cannot. And so one of the things you'll find if you're working this week, like some people are, that when you try to get in touch with others that you need to reach, that there will be an out-of-office reply.
And this is one of the ones that I liked the most. It says, "If I respond to your e-mail, my wife will kill me. If it's a -- what does it say --
(UNINTELLIGIBLE) please communicate by phone, text or voice mail. If you are trying to give me -- I can't see this. If you are trying to give me money, I'll be right over."
I actually got a -- anyway, if you have a creative out-of-office reply, good. If you don't need an office reply, please don't put it on there.
Please don't say you are out of the office for, like, ten minutes so you have to go, like, down to get your kale smoothie.
BECKEL: Eric, you're up.
GUILFOYLE: I don't even know how to do that out of the office reply. I swear.
PERINO: Well, you're never out of the office.
GUILFOYLE: No, I'm not.
BECKEL: But you're out of the office a lot. Go ahead, Eric.
BOLLING: OK. So one of the coolest things about working here. I'll show you what.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: Here it is: my Christmas wish coming to fruition. Sarah Palin and Elisabeth Hasselbeck on the "FOX and Friends" set, Christmas set. This is a great day.
ELISABETH HASSELBECK, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Merry Christmas.
SARAH PALIN, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Merry Christmas.
BOLLING: And Governor, your message to Bob Beckel?
PALIN: Merry Christmas, even to Bob Beckel.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: That was great. Also, Governor Palin's book, "Good Tidings and Great Joy." Awesome book. Pick it up. Christmastime.
PERINO: What did you like about it?
BOLLING: I loved everything about it.
PERINO: Oh, really?
GUTFELD: He didn't read it! He didn't read it!
BOLLING: Look, I'm on page 74.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my goodness. You did like that little thing with Sarah and Elisabeth.
Speaking of which, let's talk about New Year's Eve, because that's my favorite time of year and the biggest party. I like to go to after parties and eat the pigs in a blanket and put them in my pocket.
But at 9 p.m., you can find me with Bob Beckel, Bobby over here. He's rocking it out on the grandstand. I'll be sitting on his lap, because we only have one chair. It's going to be amazing.
PERINO: One chair.
GUILFOYLE: Not one chance of one chair. Make it happen. Nine p.m.
PERINO: And then Greg and I are on "Red Eye."
GUILFOYLE: "Red Eye," because we will be together.
And then before that you can get Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Bill Hemmer.
They'll be kicking it off at 10 p.m. Eastern. We'll be joined by people like Bill O'Reilly and Megyn Kelly and many more. So please spread the world.
GUTFELD: I want to say, "Red Eye" is 12:30 New Year's Eve.
BECKEL: Great. You're out of our way then. So good.
Listen, the -- One of the things I've thought about. You know, I always make this big deal about Christmas being my favorite time of the year but -
- and all the presents and all the stress and all of the stuff that goes into it. Let's keep in mind that this is to commemorate the birth of our savior, and it's important to take some time to think that through and think that this a moment where maybe you could reconnect with the Lord.
But whatever religion you are, take a moment to think things through.
And as a Christian I look forward to this very much, going to the church on Friday night -- or excuse me, on Wednesday night.
Anyway, don't forget to set your DVR so you never miss an episode of "The Five." And don't miss our Christmas special tomorrow. It's going to be a fun show.
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