Miller Time: Nuke deal with Iran

Comedian on Iran, the 'knockout game', and President Obama's fundraising


This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," November 29, 2013. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.Watch "The O'Reilly Factor" weeknights at 8 p.m. and 11 p.m. ET!

O'REILLY: Thanks for staying with us, I'm Bill O'Reilly. In the Miller Time segment tonight, let's get right to the sage of Southern California before he begins cooking Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow in Santa Barbara.

I can just see you with a little apron on and basking, is that what they call it, basking? Basting. Basting the turkey.

DENNIS MILLER, COMEDIAN: I have a little apron that says "the spin starts here" as I make my cake batter. We're eating the traditional Miller Thanksgiving feast, which is turduckenty (ph). This is a turkey inside a duck inside a chicken inside New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. That's our regular thing.

O'REILLY: might take a long time to heat up.

MILLER: I would say to all our fans and listeners out there, please don't talk over politics over Thanksgiving dinner with your family. For God's sakes, these people are inept down there. Take one day off, don't discuss politics with loved ones.

O'REILLY: OK. That's good advice.

Now, Miller and I tried to book a bolder fresher show into Iran. We have not been successful thus far and threatened with beheading if we cross the border. So what do you think of the deal that was made?

MILLER: Well, I saw Charles Krauthammer, who is the smartest guy, say that it reminds him of Munich. And I don't think kids, quite frankly, know what that means. So let me try to update the reference a little. This is sort of like the Lou Broch (ph) for Ernie Brolio (ph) trade in the early 1960's. Maybe that doesn't even make it for kids. This is sort of like when the drummer for Napster or the drummer for Metallica sued Napster. That's how bad it is.

I never thought I would be able to have a set of circumstances that would allow me to say this out loud in public, Bill. But things are so screwed here on the home front, Iran getting a nuke is the least of my problems.

O'REILLY: The consensus is that there wasn't much of a deal.

Now, this knockout game business. I must say, a lot of viewers have written in to say don't call it a game. We're not calling it a game to diminish the violence attached to it. This is what it has been labeled on the Internet. This is why these idiot kids are going out to hurt people, and then put it on the net. What do you think about this?

MILLER: Well, let me take it back to the last topic real quickly, and say is Israel expected to ante up and prove they are civilized by taking figuratively speaking one sucker punch to get the game going from mad men in Iran? I don't think they are. I think this is one less phone call for Bibi Netanyahu to make when it's go time. And I don't think people over here owe it to be sucker punched by somebody, fall down, and potentially end their life to prove they are more civilized than the people that are sucker punching them. That's absolutely crazy.

Now, I know liberals fancy the future as a Waldon II (ph) type utopia. But I always thought this. When you don't have any rules and nobody is paying any attention to any rules, it doesn't yield Waldon II. It yields Anthony Burgess' "Clockwork Orange." Except nowadays the drugs are so whiny they won't go to a milk bar because they are lactose intolerant. But this is preapocalyptic here. And I'm just hoping that somebody who is doing the punching gets hurt before somebody who is getting punched gets hurt. And if that makes me a bad guy, a reactionary, so be it.

O'REILLY: You know, to be serious for a moment. The worst thing about this is, this random violence committed overwhelmingly by young black males is that it is your fault, Miller, and my fault. Because our ancestors may have held slaves, and we are the oppressive white power structure is responsible for all of this stuff. That still a big tenet of the liberal philosophy in this country. It makes me sick.

MILLER: All I'm saying is, if you are one of the kids going up to a 70-year-old woman and punching her in the side of the face, don't you dare put it on me, you coward.

O'REILLY: That's right. Coward is exactly the right word.

Finally, the president in L.A. this week raising money for a bunch of different stuff. Were you invited to any of the soirees, Miller?

MILLER: I missed my invite. I'm sure it came. This guy does more fundraiser --

O'REILLY: There is your pal Steve Martin.

MILLER: He does more fundraisers than a PBS CFO with a hidden cocaine problem for God's sakes. Take a day off. Maybe if you are going to do some of these fundraisers, don't do them for Democrats. Do it to pay down the national debt. If this guy did half these fundraisers to pay down the debt, Billy, we would be in the black right now.


MILLER: No, no, it's not racist. I'm saying it's a business term -- means operating at a profit.


MILLER: All right. I can't even make my point, Bill. I'm sorry. Things are uptight.

O'REILLY: Do these guys just follow you around Santa Barbara? They guys that are yelling at you? They go everywhere with you now?

MILLER: Well, it's the PC police and they work tight, Billy. They are right off your wing the whole day.

O'REILLY: Dennis Miller, everybody. Happy Thanksgiving to all the Millers.

MILLER: Happy Thanksgiving to you, Bill.

O'REILLY: Next week, Miller and I will announce the bolder fresher shows for 2014. We are trying to visit every part of the country.

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