Watters' World: Least sexy college edition

The University of Houston was voted the least sexy college in America, Watters investigates

This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," November 7, 2013. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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O'REILLY: In "Back of the Book" segment tonight, "Watters' World," the least sexy college in the country, at least, according to the BuzzFeed Web site.

You may remember, earlier this week, Jesse Watters traveled to the University of Wisconsin, which leads the league in sexiness, or so they say. Well, the day before Halloween, Watters traveled in the opposite direction, to the University of Houston.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS CORRESPONDENT: The University of Houston just ranked the least sexy university in America.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE 1: I don't believe that.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE 2: What?

WATTERS: Yes. What are we going to do, man.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE 1: I don't know. We've got to get better women here. I don't know.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

HENRY WINKLER, ACTOR: Kid's got a good point.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: What happened.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE 3: Some people don't have enough cleavage, I guess.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED ACTRESS: Can I show you something.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE 2: I think there are pretty sexy people on this campus, so --

WATTERS: Really. Can you find some for me.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE 2: Uh.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BEN STEIN, ACTOR: Anyone, anyone.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: You think you might be contributing to the problem.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE 2: No.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOE PESCI, ACTOR: Are you sure.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Sexy Dorothy. Is the Wizard going to come knocking.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE 4: Oh, the Wizard already came.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: Uh-oh.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: What do you guys do for fun around here.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

CLAIRE DANES, ACTRESS: Don't even use that eyebrow move on me. It's not going to work.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Do you guys like party.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE 5: Is this going to get me in trouble.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY: It would be a lot cooler if you did.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Do you think the costume is a little too tight.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE 3: No.

WATTERS: Do you know what I mean.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE 3: It's good.

WATTERS: Everywhere?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE 3: Everywhere.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TOBY MCGUIRE, ACTOR: Looks uncomfortable. It gets kind of itchy.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Have you tried speaking with a raspier voice.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE 5: What do you want.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MARILYN MONROE, ACTRESS: Happy birthday to you.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Satin sheets, listening to Marvin Gaye.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE 2: Do you think I should.

WATTERS: You need to be the Paul Revere of sexy.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE 2: Give me sexy or give me death.

(LAUGHTER)

(BUZZER SOUND)

WATTERS: That's Patrick Henry.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE 2: Oops.

WATTERS: Play hard to get. That could work for you.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE 1: OK, all right.

WATTERS: You know.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE 1: Now, I've got to learn from the master. You've got to teach me these things.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

RODNEY DANGERFIELD, ACTOR: A good teacher. He really seems to care.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: So, let me see your sexiest look right now.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE 6: Like this.

(BUZZER SOUND)

WATTERS: Try it again.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE 6: Oh, this.

WATTERS: You almost had it. One more time.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE 6: OK.

(LAUGHTER)

WATTERS: Much better. Do you like guys or girls.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE 2: I like girls.

WATTERS: Definitely?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE 2: I'm completely straight. Yes. Yes. I like girls. Completely. Completely.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

PIERCE BROSNAN, ACTOR: I think we understand each other?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Give me a wink.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE 1: I don't know if I can wink.

WATTERS: Looks like you have something in your eye. It's more just - - it's more like there's a subtle little --

UNIDENTIFIED MALE 1: I'll practice at home.

WATTERS: Lick your lips. No, that looks like you have food in your teeth.

Do you ever do the Thighmaster?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

SUZANNE SOMERS, ACTRESS: So, it's easy to squeeze, squeeze your way to shapely hips and thighs.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE 7: No.

WATTERS: Go get out there, come on.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE 1: All right.

WATTERS: Get out there and be sexy.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED ACTORS: Yes, drill sergeant!

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Do you ever watch THE O'REILLY FACTOR.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE 7: Sometimes, I just wish he would tone it down a little bit.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

O'REILLY: It's not all about me.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE 8: He's really witty. He's on-the-spot.

WATTERS: What's your favorite part of the show.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE 5: "Watters' Report."

(BUZZER SOUND)

WATTERS: "Watters' World."

UNIDENTIFIED MALE 5: "Watters' World?"

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE 7: C, o, u, g, a, r, s. Cougars, fight!

WATTERS: Now, that's what we're talking about.

(LAUGHTER)

(END VIDEOTAPE)

O'REILLY: Now, was anybody upset. First of all, it looked like they didn't know, all right.

(LAUGHTER)

WATTERS: No, this was news to them. I don't know if it should have been. I mean, listen, I was trying to give them the pep talk, OK.

O'REILLY: We know what you were doing.

WATTERS: I know you'd find this hard to believe, Bill. I, myself, was unsexy for a period of time, OK.

O'REILLY: Was that when you had the collar up on the shirt or --

WATTERS: No, no. I had long hair for a period -- I wore plaid. I drove a Chrysler Le Baron.

O'REILLY: You're wearing plaid now, Watters. I hate to break it for you, you know.

WATTERS: No, but this is Gingham. This is Gingham, OK? All right?

O'REILLY: Now, now, if I were the guy in the banana suit, I would have punched you, man.

(LAUGHTER)

I really would have duked you out.

WATTERS: I said, "Listen, guy, I've got to split."

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

"I'm out of here."

O'REILLY: You got banana split, OK. All right, now, University of Houston, all right, in the town, --

WATTERS: Yes.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

O'REILLY: -- fourth largest city. I've got to say here. I worked in Dallas for two years, the best-looking women in the world are in Texas.

WATTERS: I mean, you would think so.

O'REILLY: Yes.

WATTERS: Right. I mean, there's oil money there, there's a hot sun, --

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

-- Latino population. I don't know what's going wrong there.

O'REILLY: I don't know either. I don't know what's going wrong at the University of Houston but the BuzzBeat says, --

(END VIDEO CLIP)

-- whatever. All right, we're not going to tell anybody what your next assignment is but it's going to be on Monday.

WATTERS: Yes.

O'REILLY: And you're going to like it. Watters.

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