This is a rush transcript from "The Five," October 25, 2013. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Eric Bolling, along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Juan Williams, Jedediah Bila, and Greg Gutfeld.
It's 5 o'clock in New York City. It's "The Five."
BOLLING: Kick back, put your feet up and get ready to be informed, because we have a jam-packed hour of power full debate.
Mother of all web failures, Kathleen Sebelius -- Greg, you like that?
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: What?
BOLLING: The hour of power?
GUTFELD: Yes, that threw me off.
Kathleen Sebelius says, hey, listen, y'all, I don't work for you.
Plus, actor Russell Brand showing off the commie chops, calls profit, quote, "filthy". Excuse me, Russell, have you looked in the mirror lately?
And Gutfeld takes an ax to academia as liberal colleges advised not to wear the offensive costumes like cowboys, Indians or white trash.
First up, here's that outrageous sound bite from our health and human services secretary, Kathleen Sebelius.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KATHLEEN SEBELIUS, HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES SECRETARY: The majority of the people who are calling for me to resign, I would say, are people who I don't work for and who do not want this program to work in the first place.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: K.G., your best and most awesome comments and thoughts on that?
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Yes. I mean, I have to think, she should go into hiding or something, because she becomes a national embarrassment. When I see her, I just say, chagrin, because it's awful.
She should say "I'm sorry" to the American people, "I'm sorry, Mr. President, banish me to the place where I will not be seen for the next five years, because this couldn't have gone worse." And there really is no excuse for it, and she actually doesn't seem to care.
BOLLING: Doesn't seem to care.
Juan, do all of the Democrats not realize that they work for the American taxpayer?
JUAN WILLIAMS, CO-HOST: That's not what the lady said, by the way.
BOLLING: What did she say?
WILLIAMS: I believe she said the people that want to fire her, and she is talking about a lot of the insincere concern coming from the right wing, so all of the sudden for Obamacare, that suddenly that they're so concerned that it worked properly and, gee, I wonder where that is coming from?
GUILFOYLE: We pay her.
WILLIAMS: I just wonder why.
GUILFOYLE: We pay her.
WILLIAMS: You know me, I'm a cynic. I'm a cynic, Eric.
BOLLING: So, that being said, who was she referring to, I don't work for them, I therefore work for whom?
WILLIAMS: Well, I guess the man who put her in the job, appointed her as cabinet secretary.
GUILFOYLE: Who pays her?
BOLLING: That is right.
GUILFOYLE: -- the American people.
WILLIAMS: And let me just say, she works at the pleasure of the president of the United States.
BOLLING: At the pleasure.
GUILFOYLE: The pleasure has left the room.
BOLLING: Jedediah, on a scale of one of 10, how outraged are you at Kathleen Sebelius?
JEDEDIAH BILA, CO-HOST: Eleven.
BILA: And that's because, you know, we heard for months about how great this was going to be, how proficient, how efficient they were. They put out a Web site that's a disaster. People -- forget about the rising costs and the rising premiums and the decreasing quality of care, and all of those things. They put a Web site that doesn't even work, where people now can't even get on there and figure out the options. People are losing their insurance by the day. She should absolutely 100 percent be fired immediately.
Somebody has to take accountability here. If she's not going to take accountability, if Barack Obama is not going the take accountability, and who can we point to? Who we suppose to point to and say, it's your problem, you fix this?
BOLLING: Greg, anywhere else in the private sector, she would have been fired almost four weeks into this, and they still can't get this straight. She should have fired right away.
BOLLING: At least by now.
GUTFELD: She could not run a lemonade stand. God knows what she'd have used instead of lemonade.
The creepy -- the creepy thing about Sebelius is the unquestioning glassy-eyed faith in government she possesses. And when you think about it, it's the same kind of glassy-eyed look she'd see in Sebelius, Pelosi, Valerie Jarrett, all have this thousand yard stares that happened when they talk about the government, they are Obama Stepford wives. They are automatons that believe in the greater good, even if the greater good rolls over everybody on its way to this utopian dream that never happens.
BOLLING: You know, Juan, we want -- I want to stay on this, because she -- they blew the rollout. They absolutely bungled it.
WILLIAMS: Yes, no question about it.
BOLLING: They should have fixed it. They should have tested it. They said they didn't have time to test it.
But this is important. This is an important function, and it is important for us to point out they can't handle this -- a $3 trillion piece of the economy -- and it's failed.
WILLIAMS: Well, look, first of all, you are right. In terms of the symbolism, it is just a killer. I mean, it's just bad news.
Remember, they've got to get people enrolled. And what does this do symbolically? It plays to your argument -- these guys can't handle it. Government can't do anything.
GUILFOYLE: They can't.
WILLIAMS: Oh, how do they handle the information if I give it to them?
You know, woe is me, and people is going to give up. If that's the case, it could have a terrible impact, but let me finish this point.
GUILFOYLE: Juan, this is the reality. Nobody is playing anything. This is the results. These are the facts. It's a failure across the board.
WILLIAMS: No, no. It's not a failure across the board.
GUILFOYLE: Nobody can log on and we can't pay for it, and come on. Not one good thing about it. That's the problem.
WILLIAMS: Kimberly Guilfoyle is Chicken Little and the sky is falling.
GUILFOYLE: Thanks to Sebelius.
WILLIAMS: And to what? A technological failure for a moment, and three weeks in a six-month rollout.
BOLLING: But, Juan, we don't know how much more it's going to go wrong --
WILLIAMS: We don't know, OK.
BOLLING: They can't even sign up, we don't know how many people are going to walk away, how many people are going to opt for the fines --
GUILFOYLE: Plus, the increase in premiums.
BOLLING: Let me, Greg, Juan was talking about symbolism. What about foreshadowing?
GUTFELD: I love that word.
GUTFELD: You know what it is -- Obamacare -- it's not, and I think, Juan, you're going to have to agree with me on this. It's not really about the site. In the long run --
WILLIAMS: There you go.
GUTFELD: -- it's about the law. And the foreshadowing is about what's going to happen.
Obamacare suffers from being a reverse Robin Hood, in the sense that it's groping in all of us, but it's taking from the poor, young student who makes less money, and giving it to the wealthier, older person who has more ailments. So, it's talking from the poor and giving to the reach.
It's a financial model that actually punishes people who voted for Obama in droves, which I find hilarious.
WILLIAMS: And you are enjoying it?
GUTFELD: But, no, you get -- I guess what I'm saying is that the Web site in and of itself is a catastrophe, but this economic model is apocalyptic, because it can't happen.
WILLIAMS: Well, first of all, Dr. Gutfeld, is this the case that normally, you would be mocking the word foreshadowing?
GUTFELD: Yes, I would.
WILLIAMS: And we are on a serious topic, OK. OK.
GUILFOYLE: And can I say something, and this is for real -- this is how sad this is. The Domino's Web site ordering a pizza online is far superior, and you can track the pizza, and order two medium-sized pizzas --
WILLIAMS: What are you doing?
GUILFOYLE: I'm telling you, for 20 bucks, it shows tracking of your pizza until it gets to your door.
GUILFOYLE: It doesn't crash.
BOLLING: The other day, on his radio, Sean Hannity, at the recommendation of our president, called the Obamacare hotline and the operator who talked to him was honest and transparent. That honesty and transparency cost Earline Davis, Earline Davis, her job. The Obama administration fired her the next day.
Earline appeared on Hannity last night and explained. Take a listen.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
EARLINE DAVIS, FIRED OBAMACARE OPERATOR: I got escorted to H.R., which is human resources, and it was four of us, including myself in the office, and they locked both the doors and they waited until they had me on the speakerphone with one of the head ladies and then they got in contact with her, and then I could barely understand what she was saying, but I did hear her say that we can't have that type of stuff at the job, and that we have to release you. And that's when I put my badge on the desk.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: So, Earline is fired, but Kathleen is hired. Is it backwards day in the Obama administration?
BILA: Absolutely, and if you listen to that, she said and did nothing wrong. She was just giving an honest assessment of a Web site that's completely broken and an honest assessment that people calling in were frustrated. What exactly did she do wrong?
WILLIAMS: Can I answer your question?
BILA: The message is that if you disagree with the Obama administration, you may lose your job. But if you fight to uphold what the Obama administration wants, even if you're wrong, it's a keeper.
WILLIAMS: Can I just answer your question quickly?
WILLIAMS: Which is to say that no company, including the federal government says that you are authorized to start talking to the media without authorization.
GUTFELD: I don't think that she knew though.
GUILFOYLE: When you lie and cover up the administration's failures, then you get a promotion.
WILLIAMS: Oh, is that right?
GUILFOYLE: This poor hardworking woman told the truth, was punished and fired.
GUTFELD: Can I point out a really positive thing here? Now, that she's fired, she is eligible for unemployment and food stamps, otherwise known as the Obama spa package.
BOLLING: Very nice.
WILLIAMS: Especially for those college students.
WILLIAMS: By the way, you know they didn't often have health insurance.
GUTFELD: Yes, and they are generally healthy or some catastrophic accident snowboarding or hitting their head. Obamacare has nothing to do with the catastrophic health care. What it has been doing is paying for something that essentially they don't need.
Obama is the Thomas Edison of socialism that he keeps inventing new ways to transfer the wealth. In this case, it's health redistribution. It's moving health redistribution that was originally paid to people like me who are older to people who don't need it.
BOLLING: Can we also point out that Sean Hannity has: (a), offered to help Earline. Is that right, Earline? And also set up some sort of, I believe, a Web site that people can go to.
GUILFOYLE: And people called into the radio show and a lot of offers for jobs for her, for financial compensation, because she lost her job and she's making what --
GUTFELD: And he also bought me a panda. They bought me a panda that's in the trunk of my car.
WILLIAMS: He bought you a panda?
BOLLING: Something you mentioned yesterday was important. You said that people, a lot of the enrollees in the Obamacare Web site aren't actually enrolling in Obamacare. They're looking for Medicare and Medicaid.
GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. So, the push -- actually, I mean, Medicaid is extremely expensive. It's like $400 billion and it's going to be $700 billion and it is going to be the states and the federals paying for it, but at least it helps the poor and it does not force people to get into it. Medicaid, and maybe what, maybe the benefits of Obamacare, and the disaster of Obamacare is turning Medicaid into some bizarre overpriced expensive savior
By the way, studies on Medicaid show it does not help. It doesn't increase longevity. They compared it to control groups. They don't see any benefits in health.
WILLIAMS: They don't see any benefits of health?
WILLIAMS: You went a step too far. You are telling me that I should not have health care and you don't want health care, is that right?
GUTFELD: There is -- it is a bizarre fact that there is no evidence to show that Medicaid actually improving your longevity.
WILLIAMS: Let me say human beings benefit from health care.
GUILFOYLE: Yes, but let's have good health care. Let's have competition across state lines. Let's have premiums that actually make sense that aren't like punitive and then when you can't get on the Web site, let's not penalize people, and tax them and fine them. That sounds like a sicker country, not a better off --
BILA: And the truth is that without young healthy people, this whole thing collapses.
WILLIAMS: I agree with you.
BILA: If they don't have the younger people to balance out the older sick people, Obamacare collapses.
WILLIAMS: Just and imagine this, Jedediah, just imagine this. So, Gutfeld gets off the show, he goes outside. He opens the trunk, and in it is a panda left by Sean Hannity, and the panda attacks Greg. Where does Greg go for help? Well, he goes to the hospital, and if he doesn't have insurance, Juan gets the bill and Juan does not want to pay for Greg.
GUTFELD: Well, but then instead, I'm 49. There's a 29-year-old who is going to end up paying for that panda accident.
BOLLING: Or not, the 29-year-old is going to say, I won't pay and take the fine and the whole system starts to collapse.
WILLIAMS: Oh, wishful, wishful.
BOLLING: No, no, Juan, I'm not wishful. We've been saying this. We have been talking about this for the better part of three years that this is going to happen. No one saw that the first step was going to be the web site. You still have shoes to drop on price, on economics on --
WILLIAMS: You really want it to work?
GUILOFOYLE: They pushed it through for the partisan reasons, before it was ready to go --
WILLIAMS: Let me ask all of you, I know we have to go. Do you guys want it to work?
BOLLING: It can't work. It cannot work.
BILA: It's bad policy, and it cannot work.
BOLLING: It is impossible and not feasible to work.
GUTFELD: Kimberly, the bigger issue is that people knew this was a problem, and put it off like the Benghazi stuff and the IRS stuff to win scandal. That's the real scandal here.
And also, what about the panda? Who is taking care of the panda?
WILLIAMS: Well, that's right. Where did Sean get the panda? I'll tell you, there is a scandal.
BOLLING: All right. On that note, next, Katy Perry's ex-boy toy commie Russell Brand wants to start a revolution, a redistribution revolution. You'll hear his rant.
Make sure also to check out our Facebook page at Facebook.com/TheFiveFNC.
GUILFOYLE: All right. Russell Brand unhinged.
Now, in an interview with "Britain News Night", the 38-year-old actor and comedian called for a socialist revolution and massive redistribution of wealth, and here is the $15 million funny man in his own words.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
RUSSELL BRAND, ACTOR: I think a socialist egalitarian system based on the heavy massive redistribution of wealth, heavy taxation of corporations and responsibility massive for any of the companies that are exploiting the environment, and they should be the constants of profit should be hugely reduced. David Cameron says profit is not a dirty word, I say profit is a filthy word, because wherever there is a profit, there's also deficit. And this system currently doesn't address these issues. So, why would anyone vote for it? Why would anyone be interested in it?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: Then, give us your money. If he is so against the profit -- I get it, he is an intellectual, or he prides himself on being, and, Greg, you have a bizarre man crush on him, if you would like to talk about that.
GUTFELD: I lived in London and I found him highly entertain, but he is afflicted by student-itis. He has the intellectual capacity of a student, not in a good way, because she is not capable of learning, but he was capable of sitting in a coffee shop and pontificating about issues that have destroyed hundreds of millions of lives without thinking about it, because to him, it's only world, he is a 17-year-old who comes home from college for Christmas and thinks that he is smarter than his dad, but he is advocating a totalitarian system that has killed hundreds of millions of people.
And I want to point out that after 9/11, the Halloween after 9/11, he came dressed at a MTV party as bin Laden. So, this guy was a pacifist. He finds great humor in atrocity. He is a complete and utter hypocrite and he used to be so funny, and now he's just an ass.
GUILFOYLE: Well, now, he doesn't have Katy Perry. So, he's like a nobody.
BOLLING: So, Russell brand is begging for the social egalitarian system one where the massive redistribution of wealth and corporations are taxed massively. Look no further, my man, you found the right place, President Obama and the wizard behind the curtain, Valerie Jarrett, are doing that right here in America. We'll take you. Come on. Denis McDonough, the chief of staff, and there you go, the new chief of staff.
WILLIAMS: Are you joking?
BOLLING: Well, let's --
BOLLING: Massive redistribution of wealth, check. Taxing corporations massively, check. Profit is a filthy word, check.
GUILFOYLE: Well, this guy is a comedian, and he is like a lot of women.
WILLIAMS: Well, I take what Greg said seriously and I thought that what Greg said, you know, this guy is juvenile, that he's just going off. He's coming out of his mouth, but he's not a great thinker.
WILLIAMS: But I will say this, how can you call America a socialist state, and I think that America corporations --
BOLLING: I'm we are headed that way.
WILLIAMS: Wait a minute, and wait a minute, it's the word of the day, for sure.
GUIFOYLE: I'm having fun with this. A lot of women find him very attractive. That's what we are talking about during the commercial break.
GUTFELD: He hasn't bathed in 10 years, Kimberly. His life has scabies.
GUILFOYLE: All right. Let's go to this. We talk about this as well, which is Occupy Wall Street.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You don't believe in democracy. You want a revolution, don't' you?
BRAND: The planet is being destroyed. We are creating an under class. We are exploiting people all over the world, and the genuine, legitimate problems of the people are not being addressed by our political people.
The Occupy movement made a difference if only in the introduced to the popular public lexicon the idea of the 1 percent versus 99 percent. People for the first time in one generation are aware of massive corporation and economic exploitation. These things are not nonsense. And these subjects are not being addressed.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: -- class.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, you're talking. Go ahead.
GUTFELD: No, I was saying, he's a student who took his first class. And one more point, because I am gabling. He was at the G.Q. Man of the Year Award --
GUILFOYLE: You stalk him? Because you seems to know --
GUILFOYLE: What he is wearing.
GUTFELD: Well, I did this story last night. He linked Hugo Boss to the Nazi ties, as a way to get press attention, but his believes are no different than any kind of Nazi socialism, or totalitarian coercion. He doesn't care about the consequences of putting your thumb down on the man. He believes -- he believes in enforcing socialism from above.
GUILFOYLE: But he doesn't put his thumb down in the voting booth, because Russell doesn't vote. What about that?
BILA: Yes, he doesn't sound like a student. He sounds like a college academic. He sounds like every teacher I ever had, who was talking about the 1 percent. They live in the ivory tower. They're removed from reality.
What I think is interesting also is that he is talking to the young people. That's his audience. Young people want to grow up and keep some of their hard-earned cash. They don't want to go to graduate school, go to college, pursue a job and then hand the money over to someone else.
So, I think that a lot of the young people are going to be looking at this and say, what are you talking about? This makes no sense. I want to make money. I want a nice house. I want a car.
WILLIAMS: And people want the upward mobility. You know, people want the opportunity to succeed. And when you have a increasing class society divide and we know it here in America, you have to start asking, well, Russell is kind of daft, but it's not that he's out of touch with the reality.
BILA: But not by taking from someone and give to another.
BOLLING: How do you move up the income ladder, as you so speak? Russell Brand suggests it is government. To give more and more handouts.
WILLIAMS: No, no, I don't know. I don't think they heard that.
BOLLING: He said that profit is filthy, and redistribution is --
WILLIAMS: Over excess. When you get into the greed, that's a problem.
BOLLING: You say over excess, that's profit.
WILLIAMS: No, no, he was talking about the energy and the oil companies that make trillions and pay no taxes.
GUTFELD: And what about the film industry?
BILA: And the oil companies employ people, and I hate the nullification of big company, because people work for those companies.
BILA: That's like vilifying the wealthy. Guess what? Rich people hire people like me.
WILLIAMS: No, no, I like corporations. I love corporations. I was talking about greed, greed.
BILA: OK, but you can --
WILLIAMS: When these people put all of the profits in the Cayman Islands if they were good Americans.
BOLLING: That's you talking. That's not what he said.
BILA: He's talking about profit, in general.
BOLLING: He said that profit, period, is a filthy word.
WILLIAMS: That's hypocrisy, because that guy is rich.
GUTFELD: What he said was where there is profit, there is deficit. So, he is misguided in the belief that the pie, the financial pie is finite. So if you make $100, I will lose $100. He has no idea that the whole point behind the free market capitalism is that you build wealth so I can make $100 and you can make $100.
GUTFELD: But he is a socialist, the pie is finite.
GUILFOYLE: Sometimes, you can't just get enough.
We'll get a little bit more of Russell on the voting. Does he? Doesn't he?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BRAND: It's not that I'm not voting out of apathy, I'm not voting out of absolute indifference and weariness and the exhaustion from the lies, treachery, deceit of the political class that's been going on for generations.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: He is so exhausted. I'm so exhausted and frustrated I can't vote. What is wrong with this guy? I can't take it.
WILLIAMS: He is a little bit off, wouldn't you say?
GUILFOYLE: Completely, but he is influencing the young people, and he doesn't want to get up in the morning to vote.
WILLIAMS: I mean, when he talks about the exploiting people, don't you think he has something there?
BOLLING: So, vote. So, vote.
WILLIAMS: Well, of course.
GUILFOYLE: Back it up.
BOLLING: That's asinine. That's pure stupidity.
BILA: And he should -- you know what? I think he should give all of his money away. If he feels that strongly, and give it all away to charity, you know, make it practice to come to the U.S. and pay taxes. We will take the money, right, Greg?
GUTFELD: You know what? Like I say, I find him entertaining, but the -- you have to always look at the hypocrisy of the peaceful progressive pacifist, because at the end of their belief is always force, because you never realize this utopian world, so that you have to force people into it. So, what he is advocating is the same thing that all academics in Mao's regime or Stalin's regime that caused the deaths of hundreds of millions of people, he is advocating that, but he doesn't know it.
GUILFOYLE: Because he only went to the first day of class like he said.
GUTFELD: And he just bought Howard Zinn or Noam Chomsky.
BOLLING: Last thought?
GUILFOYLE: Yes, last thought.
BOLLING: Last thought -- the highest income, the widest margin between the upper and the lower is socialist government. Income inequality is at the widest point in socialism and communism.
WILLIAMS: I see. Well, I don't want us to go there, and I think we can rein in some of the excesses tat however nutty he is, that he is touching.
BILA: And who defines what's excess? The government?
WILLIAMS: Well, I don't want -- I don't want people who are super rich, you know, living on top of the mountain while people are down below in America --
BILA: Then, let's create opportunity for everyone.
WILLIAMS: There we go.
BILA: Instead of taking from one and giving to another.
GUILFOYLE: I am thinking that comedians might be getting paid too much.
All right. Coming up, Hollywood costumes are supposed to be frightening, but according to the PC police at University of Colorado, they shouldn't be hurtful. Don't hurt anybody's feelings. There list of so- called "offensive costumes" students should not wear. It's costumes correctness run amok, when "The Five" returns.
And please check out our new Web site, at FoxNews.com/TheFive.
GUTFELD: And another attack on our precious costume industry, the University of Colorado-Boulder has asked students not to dress up in potentially offensive get-ups, including stuff related to sex works. This is academic whim speak for please don't dress up like a sexy hooker and anger a lonely feminist with no plans for that night.
But also, they've said no to cowboy costumes.
GUTFELD: And no over-sexualizing a culture. Well, there goes my Halloween.
I just spent four weeks crocheting sexy Eskimo hot pants. I guess we are back to being a goblin, although I imagine that being a goblin is offensive to the deceased, i.e., the MSNBC lineup.
Look, this is all part of what I call cower power -- schools pretend to care about the sensitivities of certain groups, when they're really just terrified of victimhoods. Victimhoods are thuggish cry babies who sit and wait for something perceive as hurtful, even when it's just dumb fun like dressing up. This is a politically correct, fully realized as a bullying mob. They aren't really offended by costumes, it just feels good to have a impact especially when you are a zero.
So, now, they are the intolerant skulls (ph). They're like Dean Wormer of "Animal House", only much poorer and way dumber. So, what am I going to be this Halloween, well, I'm going to go, as Chris Matthews, I'm not going to go to the bathroom for six days so by Halloween, I'll be full of crap.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh. Here we go. Starting another fight.
WILLIAMS: I know one.
GUILFOYLE: Can I (INAUDIBLE) crocheted Eskimo hot pants.
GUTFELD: Well, Kimberly, since you've already started talking, aren't these people covering their tracks saying like, you know, you can't be a cowboy, because they don't want you to be a Indian, and they don't want to be geisha. We don't want you to be a criminal. We don't want you to be a cowboy, because they want to be seen as equal opportunity controller.
GUILFOYLE: They are the killers of fun. I mean, this is just sad. You know, I look for we are having a little Halloween festival at my little boy's school, and in all caps it says absolutely no costumes allowed. So, now, it's not something that is offensive, the whole idea is that we are supposed to have a festival or a Halloween, but it is no Halloween in it, so I guess you just like bring some treats and just talk about the good old days, but when you are 5 or 6 or 7, you have never been able to do that at school, it's a little bit disturbing.
GUTFELD: You should have your son dress up as me, because we are the same height.
GUILFOYLE: Yes, he is a little taller than you when I comb his hair a certain way.
GUTFELD: Yes, thanks for that.
Juan, isn't it more activism than actual offense?
GUTFELD: Activist -- coming and yelling and picketing and getting angry.
WILLIAMS: Well, you know, to me, they have to have something to be angry about. This is foreshadowing, because they don't have an actual offense.
But I will say, the only time I heard of it is that there were frat boys who are dressing up as pimps and hookers and the people thought that it was a little bit over the line with the black stuff, and it was caricaturing black people, and rich white people and making fun of the poor black people. And I go, well, you know, it's a little insensitive. But I don't think it's anything to put out a warning about I mean, I don't know. That's the way I feel, but maybe I'm not --
GUTFELD: Yes. And students can be idiots. That's why you're in college to be an idiot. I was an idiot for almost four years, no memory of it, Eric.
GUILFOYLE: -- four years.
GUTFELD: This segment is over.
Eric, isn't Halloween now an excuse for men to get women into sexy costumes? That's what it's about.
BOLLING: Well, perhaps. Here's the thing, I love Halloween. Everyone is like, oh, are Christian and it is a pagan holiday.
No, I love Halloween. It's so much fun. They are taking the fun out of it.
I have a question, though, how can you dress up as a -- I'm trying to figure, they said don't dress up as white trash, what do they mean by that?
GUTFELD: I think I know what they're talking about. Didn't we do a story about people dressing up as "Duck Dynasty" and somebody got in trouble? And so, they were characterized as white trash, dressing as what Bob would say, as a red neck.
GUTFELD: Jed, what's your thought on this, or Jedediah?
BILA: Well, I taught for years, and the list would get every year longer and longer of the things kids couldn't do. You couldn't have face paint. You couldn't wear anything religious, couldn't dress up as a nun or a priest, just go longer and longer, to a point where finally you have parents coming out and saying, this is Halloween, give my kids a break.
So, I think the PC world is starting to get a little bit out of control in all levels.
GUTFELD: I dress up as a priest, but not Halloween.
BILA: I'm going as you so, I'm offending everyone.
GUTFELD: Fantastic. Well, your knees will hurt, because you have to get down on them.
BILA: I'm going to crouch down really low.
GUTFELD: All right. Someone --
GUTFELD: Someone stole Kimberly's outfit for tonight and she wants it back. Can you guess who dressed up as the bride of SpongeBob? The answer is coming up. Stick around.
GUILFOYLE: How attractive.
BILA: Before Caylee Anthony, before Natalee Holloway, before the Chandra Levi murder case, there was JonBenet Ramsey. The 6-year-old child beauty queen was found murdered in the basement of her family's Colorado home the day after Christmas in 1996. Her parents John and Patsy fell under great suspicion, but always denied they killed their daughter.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JOHN RAMSEY, FATHER: I did not kill my daughter, JonBenet.
PATSY RAMSEY, MOTHER: Let me assure you that I did not kill JonBenet.
We together are not going to rest until we find out either if this person is still living, we're going to find them. Or if this person is deceased, we are going to know that, because I'm not going to rest until that happens, nor is he.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BILA: Seventeen years later, the case remains unsolved. But a previously sealed indictment of JonBenet's parents has just been released.
Kimberly, what can you tell us about the indictment?
GUILFOYLE: This is really interesting because grand jury, the one that's based upon a secrecy that it's supposed to be remained sealed, signed. But now, we are hearing that, in fact, an indictment was reached, through (INAUDIBLE), to indict the parents for child abuse resulting in death and accessories to the crime, which is a pretty powerful charges. But more interesting is the fact that the district attorney at the time elected to not proceed with charges against the parents, and it seems because they felt they couldn't win the case.
So, all of the evidence, and information and there was 30,000 pieces of evidence that the grand jury has presented in front of them to consider at arriving at their decision is going to remain sealed. So, we are sort of left with a lot more questions than we are answers at this point, and she would have been 23 years old today.
BILA: Thank you for the update.
Now on to another story making headlines today. The attorney general of Maryland has a lot of explaining to do after a photo surfaced on the Internet of him surrounded by a slew of teenaged drinkers. It was taken at a party over the summer.
Democrat Douglas Gansler --
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DOUGLAS GANSLER (D), MARYLAND ATTORNEY GENERAL: What he could have done is to investigate if there was drinking going on, and then taken action on that and for that, I probably should have done that in hindsight, certainly.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BILA: Democrat Douglas Gansler now admits he made a mistake by not investigating whether the partiers were underage.
BOLLING: There was nothing on the sound bite. OK.
GUILFOYLE: That was not your fault.
BILA: All right.
Eric, I have to ask you, you are a father. If you had walked into the beach house party and you had seen -- obviously, kids were on top of tables. There were plastic cups out. How would you have handled this situation?
GUTFELD: You have been shot (ph).
GUILFOYLE: Stop, stop, stop.
BOLLING: College aged kids, right? Alleged beers in cups, I don't think I would have done -- I definitely would not have called the cops. I just wouldn't have done it. But I I'm not the Maryland attorney general, top cop, and running for governor 2014. Those are the reasons why you would make a different decision, not as a father, as the guy who wants to be the governor of the state, this guy has proven himself he is incapable of that job.
BILA: Now, Juan, he has come out now and said this was a mistake, I shouldn't have done that. Do you think this is something that voters should look and say, well, it's water under the bridge, let's not hold him, you know, responsible for this. Or should they say this is a really bad judgment call?
WILLIAMS: It's a bad judgment. But, you know, I'm admiring Eric, because I thought Eric told you the truth, which is most of the adults, they walk in to that situation, a bunch of college kids out of control, they're drinking -- people aren't going to like, you know, call the cops. I don't think so.
Now, technically, yes, underage drinking, something is wrong here. And Gansler, the idea that he's in the picture, in the midst of this chaos, which looks like an out of control party, I mean, he is just looking around, and the problem is that it adds to the image of Doug Gansler. He wants to be the governor of the state of Maryland. He says that the party took place in Delaware. So, technically, he didn't have any legal responsibility.
GUILFOYLE: But what about as a responsible adult? I'm sorry, when you cross the state lines, you forget my responsible adult card at home. Plus, he said, I wasn't really sure, there was any drinking going on. When they have the little go cup, red plastic cup, that's a flag, that's a flag.
BOLLING: I fill you up. Let's have a party.
GUILFOYLE: And they are shirtless and like, waa! And feeling themselves, like, come on!
BOLLING: There's a picture of him talking video or picture --
GUTFELD: The other thing , what makes it kind of a problem here is that his son was there and he claims his son wasn't drinking, which is hilarious. I guess he is having Ovaltine.
But he's done PSAs against underage drinking. So, it highlights the point that there are different rules for like -- you know, I'm going to tell you that your kid cannot drink, but mine can. But it raises another question -- is there such a thing as off duty. When I'm at a party, I don't go to sit down at a table and demand that everybody talk politics, you know? Well, maybe I do.
BOLLING: Well, the cops are on duty even if they are off duty, and he is the top cop in the state.
BILA: Well, that is true.
GUTFELD: I told him not to start drinking before the show.
BILA: Have you ever called out sick from work without really being ill? Maybe sick with a hangover perhaps? Coming up, we'll read you some of the most outrageous, ridiculous, over the top sick day excuses that folks are giving their bosses nationwide.
Stay with us.
WILLIAMS: Hey, it's Friday. Do you feel like playing hooky or not going to work?
Well, just everybody has felt like that and according to a new survey, nearly a third have done it. Career Builders just compiled a list of some of the most ridiculous, and bogus sick day excuses.
So, here are a few: my false teeth flew out the window while driving.
WILLIAMS: How about this? My favorite football team lost on Sunday. So, I needed Monday to recover.
I bit my tongue and I just couldn't talk.
And I couldn't decide what to wear.
GUILFOYLE: That's for real.
WILLIAMS: That's for real?
GUILFOYLE: That's for real.
GUILFOYLE: I mean, if you can't decide what to wear, it can be a problem.
WILLIAMS: Well, wait a minute, why don't you put on something and go to work.
GUILFOYLE: Well, you can do that, but if you are like trying to figure out an awesome outfit, and you can't figure it out, and you call wardrobe.
WILLIAMS: Wait, that was one excuse?
GUTFELD: No, I think that was Buffalo Bill from "Silence of the Lambs."
GUILFOYLE: Terrible. Scary.
WILLIAMS: Well, I must say, have you ever called in sick when it was bogus?
GUILFOYLE: No, I don't call in sick, ever.
GUTFELD: You know, that's actually an interesting point, because there are people who call in sick that shouldn't. But there are a lot of people who don't call in sick who should. They come in and infect everybody, and then the entire floor has some strange norovirus.
GUILFOYLE: But that's not me. That's Bob.
GUTFELD: But you have explosive things coming out of every orifice.
By the way, you know the best way to call in sick, is use the camera phone. What you do is you always have a stock of the dents in cars or broken windows. And, you know you send, a broken window, apartment got broken into, waiting for the locksmith, because you already have the broken window or the broken door. You got the minor fender bender, and you're waiting for the tow truck. So, you're always have these pictures on your phone.
WILLIAMS: Jedediah, you are such a straight, honest person.
BILA: That is true.
WILLIAMS: So, you wouldn't imagine that you would lie. But I think that maybe one day you woke up in your life and you thought, I really don't feel like dealing with those fools today.
So what do you do?
GUILFOYLE: Well, it was not today. It wasn't today.
WILLIAMS: Me either.
BILA: If I'm actually sick, I call out sick. If I'm not, I go the work and hustle like everybody else.
WILLIAMS: But, Eric, what about a mental health day?
BOLLING: You are talking to the wrong guy. Like Kimberly, I don't take any time out.
GUILFOYLE: He becomes mentally ill and very unhealthy, yes, if he's not on four shows a day. He starts getting the shakes.
BOLLING: A couple of quick thoughts. Dana and Bob called out, right? Did anyone check their excuse?
WILLIAMS: No, no, Bob's daughter has a soccer game and not Bob.
GUILFOYLE: And Bob has got a soccer game.
BOLLING: And Dana is somewhere?
GUILFOYLE: Well, I get nervous about missing -- this is a no joke, it's true story. I had perfect attendance in law school. I got standing ovation from the class. I never want to miss. I don't want to miss school. I would cry if I have to stay home, I'm fine, really.
WILLIAMS: And what about those hospital residents who they make work like 72 straight hours and they fall down dead. They should call in sick.
GUTFELD: Well, the mentality of the I don't show up, I'm going to lose my job infects everyone who tries really hard has that voice in their head that like if I just stay home, I'm going to be replace and the employers love that attitude and they feed it into you.
I got sick, I had to be -- when I had the appendicitis. It was the only time. It was awesome. I was on Percocet for seven days, best week of my life.
BOLLING: Can I throw a quick story? Last night, there was a guy at the baseball game who didn't call in sick in advance. He decided to go to the baseball game anyway. He got fired and he held up the sign and said, I quit my job or I got fired to come to this baseball game.\
I swear to God, in high school, I took the opening day of the Cubs' opening day and I went right to the ball game, and foul ball and somebody takes a picture and I'm caught dead in the middle of the picture, and of course, I got in trouble. I swear on my life.
GUILFOYLE: And, you know, that sounds like a Bob thing.
WILLIAMS: Well, it is the girl that you were with and your wife was texting.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, troublemaker. Oh!
WILLIAMS: Ahead, the moment you've all been waiting for, the big reveal. Who is the celebrity behind the fuzzy mask of mystery? Find out, "One More Thing" up next.
BOLLING: My goodness. It's time for one more thing.
GUILFOYLE: Commercials are the best.
BOLLING: Wow. It's what we do. All right. K.G., you're first.
GUILFOYLE: OK. So this is a little bit of sad news here, because they have a child. So, Orlando Bloom and model and actress Miranda Kerr, they have separated. They have a little boy named Flynn. They were married in July 2010. And their little boy was born a year later.
So they're going to try and do the best they can to co-parent. I wish them all the best. I think that's really important to do when you split.
GUTFELD: How is America going to handle this news, Kimberly?
GUILFOYLE: Maybe she will come back on your show.
GUTFELD: Oh, gosh, I hope.
BOLLING: All right. J.B., you're up.
BILA: Yes. A Virginia woman, her name is Ashley Owens, rode her horse, which is named Sassy, by the way. There's Sassy -- to the Department of Motor Vehicles to get her license reinstated after a paperwork mix-up.
So, yes, she just got on her horse. How else is going to get there? You know, she couldn't drive, because her license needed to be reinstated. So she thought what can I do, let me get on my horse. The story how it impacted me, now I want a pony.
So, I think one of you, Greg, should buy we one.
GUTFELD: You know what she said to the DMV employee?
GUILFOYLE: Good thing it's the end of the show, you are running out of steam.
BOLLING: Oh, boy. All right. Tomorrow, "CASHIN' IN" at 11:30 in the morning. Last week, we told you, we found the privacy issue in Obamacare. This week, we unearth another one, very important thing. You've got to stick around tomorrow morning at 11:30. Juan is going to be on.
We're conservative, we're kind of a libertarian, and we are wall-to- wall capitalist. There you go.
GUTFELD: Tonight, you can catch me on O'Reilly, it's OK. Tomorrow, you got "RED EYE" at 11:00 p.m. That's me on the right. And we're going to have guest, Lou Dobbs. You might know Lou.
BILA: And --
GUTFELD: Sweet guy. Oh, and Jedediah. Forgot about you.
BILA: That's a lot.
GUTFELD: I have run out of steam.
GUILFOYLE: She is giving you her Friday night.
BILA: Thank you.
GUTFELD: One is really hot, and the other one is Jedediah.
BOLLING: You're up.
WILLIAMS: I want to look at this picture. I want you to and help me. Who is this? Who would you imagine --
GUTFELD: I think they answered it for everybody by putting the caption on it.
GUTFELD: Well done, producer.
WILLIAMS: But let me ask you- -- what is that on her head?
GUTFELD: It looks like --
GULFOYLE: It's called a bad hair day.
WILLIAMS: Bad hair -- what is it? Looks like a Triscuit. What is it?
GUILFOYLE: Triscuit, biscuit.
WILLIAMS: I have no idea.
GUTFELD: Looks like a McNugget.
BOLLING: Is she still relevant?
WILLIAMS: She had a tattoo of her panda on her leg.
GUILFOYLE: A panda again.
BILA: They keep coming up.
WILLIAMS: It was a unicorn, a unicorn.
GUILFOYLE: Again, a great thing.
BOLLING: Well, that was it. It's Friday. Thanks for watching. Have a great weekend.
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