Miller Time: Miley Cyrus performs racy song

The 'Sage of Southern California' on Miley Cyrus, Chelsea Manning and Al Jazeera America


This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," August 28, 2013. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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O'REILLY: Thanks as always, I'm Bill O'Reilly. And the Miller Time segment tonight, three hot topics on the table. So, let's get right to the sage of Southern California, joining us from Santa Barbara. So Miller, what about this Miley Cyrus person? Lots of people were offended by her performance on TV the other night. Were you?

DENNIS MILLER, TALK SHOW HOST: First off, I want to see Carville and Ablow with those little horns that she has on her head next time they're on.

O'REILLY: We'll try to work that out.

MILLER: Thanks for having me on. And I feel I'm the only person with hair on tonight's show.

O'REILLY: Thank you, Miller. I believe I have a little bit left.

MILLER: Other than the fleur-de-lis-decal on the helmet behind Carville. I might to tell which is the same helmet and which is his skull. Anyway, Miley, you know what they say, Billy, Miley-wild inch dip. But I want to send a message out to the kid, listen, I know, I'm old squared out, I'm supposed to be shocked and I'm supposed to be scandalized. Honey, I'm none of those. I, and most of America, are now officially bored. We are bored with people like you incessantly feeling the need to shock us square.


You're insipid, because you don't have an act. That foam finger you used is going to last longer on the landfill than your career. And you know something I would say, I hope you got something tucked away. If I was Robin Thicke, I'd fire my people. He's got the hottest song in America, the kid can actually sing, and all of a sudden he's in a, you know, Gulliver's travel on Spanish fly. But I will say this to Miley, I got a good look at that tongue. And the coloration was bad, baby. That's the same caliph that Picasso worked in on Guernica. You got to get a good look at it. And I had a long, long look at it because it was constantly unfurled like the fire hose that Bruce Willis used to go between floors in "Die Hard."

O'REILLY: There's a lot to digest in that, Miller.

MILLER: That's what I think, Billy.

O'REILLY: I want to recommend to Mr. Thicke's tailor that he might get glasses. What about that suit, Miller? I think you and I should, you know, have those suit on the bold or fresh tour.


MILLER: If we come without that pose, we will --

O'REILLY: No, we're not going to do that.

MILLER: .suit, I thought the Kingston trio was on stage there for a minute.


MILLER: You and I come out in Nehrus and medallions.

O'REILLY: All right. So, I like your take on Miley that we're board. We're bored with it!

MILLER: We're bored!

O'REILLY: We're board with it. OK. Now, Bradley Manning, and you will not see that name in the "New York Times." They have officially announced they're going to call him Chelsea.


O'REILLY: And I understand from your publicist, Miller, that you now want to be called Tiffany Miller. Is that true?

MILLER: Well, listen, I almost said something that would have got me kicked off THE FACTOR for the rest of my life.

O'REILLY: All right. Don't do that.


MILLER: Once again, I'm just bored with this kid. Listen, I'll kick in for the operation, I'll give you an extra five bucks. Can you just shut up about every detail of your life for a while? Go in. I don't care. Listen, at what point in the sexual metamorphosis did they transfer you over from the Andy to Shawshank wing into the civil dunning prison flick wing? When does that happen? All I know is this, operation or not, there's a good chance, Bradley, you're living the next 35 of your life as a woman. And you don't want to get the name whistleblower in there. That's all I'll tell you.

O'REILLY: Yes, we don't have to go near that description.

MILLER: That's a bad prison nickname.

O'REILLY: But I mean, look, this is an embarrassment across the board. And then, what gets lost in this, of course, is that the man committed espionage against the United States. That's all lost in his crazy "I want to be a woman" got thing.

MILLER: The only part of it that's not a freak show is if a guy is a woman and has to become -- listen, when somebody does that, I take that seriously. I mean, what a drastic step for a man to do that. So the only part of this that does make sense to me is if the kid -- I don't want to pay for it. But if the kid feels that he's a woman trapped in a man's body, I feel empathy for that. The whole rest of the thing is a freak show.

O'REILLY: Right.

MILLER: But I will tell you this, if he does go ahead with it, he's going to look a lot like that Linda England chick from Abu Ghraib. Because she looked the other way. They might pass in the night.

O'REILLY: I vaguely remember what the woman looks like. We're just going to move on to Al Jazeera.

MILLER: All right.

O'REILLY: Have you been watching the debut week of the Arab-backed network?

MILLER: Well, listen, the other day somebody said, Al Jazeera launched, and I quite frankly went into the bunker when I hear those words. You know, I was watching Al Jazeera, and they had an Al Jarreau concert on. And it was followed by an Al Jolson film, which surprised me because he's a Jew. Now listen, they have the equivalent of "60 Minutes" over there. And I'm telling you, if you're watching the Al Jazeera "60 Minutes" and you hear tick, tick, tick coming from your TV, you need to dive out of the room.


O'REILLY: We don't want anything to do with that, right? I don't think Al Jazeera is going to be successful. I don't think there's a big demand for it. And one of their ads, they go no talking points, a reference to your humble correspondent here. And you know, that's fine with me. No talking points.

MILLER: Yes, well, they may not have your talking points, Billy but they got even less your ratings, brother.

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