'The Five's advice for newly minted college grads

Who needs boring commencement speeches?


This is a rush transcript from "The Five," May 24, 2013. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Who in the name of God was that song?

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Cameo. That's Cameo.

BECKEL: It was awful.

All right. It's graduation time. College students from the Class of 2013 are about to enter real world.

We'd like to take a moment or two to share our own advice for grads. Each of us have a tip or two. And I'll kick it off.

First of all, let me just say this to you. Don't buy any of this notion that America is on the skids, we're in trouble, we got big deficit, the rest of it. If you want to listen to that, go to the Republican meetings. You'll get it.

The fact of the matter is, the country has always come back. It's going to be fine. Don't worry about the jobs. You're going to be fine.

The other thing is, there are no good deals in life. You're going to find some things, you're going to stumble on. You're going to find that things look back at the moment. Look back six months later and it was either an opportunity or they weren't as big a deal as you thought it were.



GUTFELD: My first one is forget everything you learned in the last four years. It's all poison from ponytail perverts.

BECKEL: From all those --

GUTFELD: From the liberals.

And don't follow your dreams. Everybody in those stupid commencement speeches tells you to follow your dreams. That's a lie. Dreams are way to majestic. They end up paralyzing you, because all you do is you dream instead of doing something.

So, don't dream, go to work. Join the military. Join a gym. Do something but don't dream.

No, the fact is over time you figure out who you are, and all that dreaming does is delay you from figuring it out.

GUILFOYLE: You sound kind of bitter, like weird or something.

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: I think it's impassioned.

GUTFELD: Yes, thank you, Dana.

BECKEL: On that note, Dana, what's your advice.

PERINO: My advice is take some type off, do a road trip across America or take a section. I love that drive from the black hills of South Dakota to San Francisco. I like going South to --



PERINO: Moab. I like Moab, Grand Canyon. This is good advice because you can get to see America.

I learned a rule today from someone on Twitter, who said, on a road trip, never eat at a chain restaurant, so that you get to know the local people, local folks.

GUTFELD: Great. Way to attack the American economy.

GUILFOYLE: You can also get incredibly sick, food poisoning.


BECKEL: You got another piece of advice.

PERINO: My other piece of advice --

BECKEL: Written notes.

PERINO: Oh, yes, handwritten notes. Don't forget to take your memory pills.

GUTFELD: You should write a handwritten note.

PERINO: No, handwritten notes are really important.

GUTFELD: You should write a note to Bob Evans and say I'm sorry.

PERINO: But really if you trace how I ended up being at the White House, I wrote handwritten notes of to friends of mine. I kept the network going. It means more than an e-mail or Facebook. I try to keep talking.

BECKEL: Let's go ahead with you.

GUILFOYLE: Filibuster.

OK. So, for college, I said it's a good idea to travel abroad. Maybe you get an opportunity to go study at another university and do a semester there. I think that's nice. I did that actually in law school and studied at Trinity College, in Dublin, Ireland.

PERINO: Any beer there?

GUILFOYLE: Was there beer there?

PERINO: Uh-huh.


GUTFELD: I bet you were invited to go to a lot of trips abroad.

GUILFOYLE: And they still keep on coming in. OK.

BECKEL: What about the rest of your advice?

GUILFOYLE: The rest of my advice is to take internship opportunities. One of the internships I took was working at the district attorney's office. That's how I knew that I loved it and wanted to be a prosecutor instead of working in private practice. I'm sure glad that I got to do that.

And I did work in private practice, too, as internship and then I decided eh.

And also, don't drink too much and definitely don't do drugs. That worked for me.

GUTFELD: There goes all the fun.

BECKEL: It's worked for me, Greg.

PERINO: Use hand sanitizer.

BECKEL: That's right. Now, let's come to the guy most successful graduate in recent memory who made millions of dollars on the commodities exchange.

GUILFOYLE: Eric Bolling.

BECKEL: Eric Bolling, who had notoriously bad record at school.

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: No, I didn't. I was a good student.

OK, a couple of in my opinion sound advice. Number one, look for any opportunity. Take any job you can get and look for opportunity to call Easter eggs in gamers. You know what I'm talking about. In other words, look for a door that's going to open up. Even if it's not what you want. If you see that door open, have the guts to take that job.

The next one, trust your gut. Make sure that whatever you do, make sure you weigh both opportunities. I do stay where I am or do I go through that door. Your gut will always tell you. It never lie to you.

By all means, the number one most important thing -- my mom told this to me, the last words out of her body before she passed: never quit. Find your dream, see it, and never quit.

PERINO: But you should never trust your Gutfeld.


BECKEL: I like that as well.

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