Secret Santa surprises on 'The Five'

Christmas is about giving


This is a rush transcript from "The Five," December 24, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Well, thanks for spending part of your Christmas Eve with us. This is the second Christmas for "The Five" and we're glad to be spending part of it with you.

Now, as you know, the spirit of Christmas is about giving. So, earlier this month, we did a little secret Santa. Now, it's time to find out who picked who.

Bob, you're up first. So, we've got a little gift for your here.

Kind of big, actually.


DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: That's beautifully wrapped, too.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Be careful. It's inflatable.


GUILFOYLE: Remember the spirit of giving.

BECKEL: I think I've got a few of those in my life.

GUTFELD: No, it's a wrap for the beach.

GUILFOYLE: Can you get one of those for under $10?

GUTFELD: Yes, you can, on Times Square.

PERINO: Really?


GUILFOYLE: And then you have to figure out -- oh, this is a good gift. Figure out who gave it to you. Who is your secret Santa, Bobby.

BECKEL: Is this -- foosball. That's very nice.

GUILFOYLE: I love it. I bought two of those for my little munchkin.

BECKEL: Let me see, this is from -- let me guess -- this is from Eric.

GUTFELD: That is amazing. That's a table --



PERINO: Isn't that cool?

GUILFOYLE: Why did you pick Eric?

GUTFELD: For ages 5 and up. Perfect.

GUILFOYLE: Chronological age.

PERINO: Yes, I gave -- I chose that for you.

BECKEL: You did?

PERINO: Here is why. You know in your Christmas -- when we showed the video, that we'll see later of the house when you do the lights and you made the sign that said here this is for all the kids in the neighborhood and for the big kid who lives here.

BECKEL: Right.

PERINO: I figured this is something you might want to play in green room.

BECKEL: That's actually right. That's very nice.

GUTFELD: Can I make a point? How much you want to bet Dana was on a flight and ordered it from Sky Mall.

PERINO: No. Walking down 57th Street. That's why window shopping works. When they decorate the windows and things --

GUTFELD: I don't believe you. I think that's a Sky Mall order.

PERINO: I'll get the receipt.

GUILFOYLE: They sell like hotcakes. They're not easy to get.

GUTFELD: Nobody buys hotcakes.

PERINO: How is it possible you never played foosball before?

BECKEL: I just never have.

PERINO: Oh, well, I guess it's first time for everything. I thought you would love that.

BECKEL: I do. I think it's great.

PERINO: I think it fell flat.

BECKEL: I'll take Eric on, because he's so competitive, that means he will whoop me and he'll probably (INAUDIBLE) it.

PERINO: Last year, I got you chocolate.

GUILFOYLE: Actually, it's a good stress reliever, so when you're fighting, having a little bickering or someone --

BECKEL: We don't bicker. We don't bicker. We --

GUILFOYLE: You snicker.

BECKEL: Snicker, right.

GUILFOYLE: OK. Well, that's cute. Isn't Christmas a present is making noise? I don't know what that means.

GUTFELD: That means it might be the dog. I forgot to poke holes in the box, though.

GUILFOYLE: Didn't you love to shake them when you were little?

BOLLING: Wait a minute, Christmas vacation.

GUILFOYLE: By the way, somebody must love you, Greg. This is the biggest present I have seen yet in two years.

GUTFELD: It has pretty parts to it.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, this got a little -- a hat. It's for Greg from his secret Santa.

So, you're going to open this up and try to guess who it's from. Play along.

GUTFELD: All right.

PERINO: Wow, it's three presents. This is present one upmanship.

GUTFELD: This is somebody who is mocking my anti-holiday sentiment.

That's kind of nice.

PERINO: Backwards.

GUTFELD: Backwards?


GUTFELD: It's very nice. All right. It's got a hat.

GUTFELD: What? It turns on. Somebody tells me it turns on.

PERINO: Well. You open, I'll try to figure it out.

GUILFOYLE: I think it's on the side.


BECKEL: Look at the top of it.


GUILFOYLE: I think that is fabulous.

PERINO: You look like an elf.

GUILFOYLE: You look like the Grinch. Look at the face and the eyebrows.


GUTFELD: This looks like I have a medical disorder.

BECKEL: That's a given.

GUTFELD: Yes. I think if this goes on for four hours, I have to go to the emergency room.

BOLLING: Call your doctor?

GUTFELD: Yes, you have to call your doctor, if this goes. I better take it off.

BECKEL: Up for more than four hours.

GUILFOYLE: I think that's very funny.

GUTFELD: This is amazing. A fold your own unicorn 2013 calendar. This is amazing. Somebody went to a lot of trouble.

PERINO: That's very thoughtful.

GUTFELD: This is going to make me look bad.

PERINO: I think foosball looked lame.

GUTFELD: All right. This is a Foc News sticker on it.

GUILFOYLE: A freebie.


PERINO: The box is --

GUTFELD: Be careful when you say freebie.

Oh, my God. What is that? Jeez! I thought it was something alive.


GUILFOYLE: My goodness. How cute is that? A little unicorn.

GUTFELD: That is as adorable as it is creepy.

GUILFOYLE: It has a thing to ride it look like.

BECKEL: You could sleep it with.

GUTFELD: I think I might.

BECKEL: With your other one.

GUTFELD: Although I might get arrested for. That's has great dark eyes. It has Jasper eyes. Soulless beast.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my Gosh.

GUTFELD: I have to guess who gave it to me.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, but I think it might be somebody that has some assistance.


GUTFELD: That means it was Bob. Who helped you with this?

BECKEL: A bunch of people upstairs did. Thank you very much because I don't shop.

PERINO: I like that you can make a hipster unicorn. Remember I didn't know what a hipster was earlier.

GUTFELD: Yes, it's true.

BECKEL: You didn't know what a hipster was?


GUILFOYLE: That's actually very creative. I like it a lot. You give those gifts -- the triage. Two thumbs up.

GUTFELD: It makes me feel very, very special inside.

GUILFOYLE: Eric, you want to open yours up next? Right there. Looking gorgeous.

BOLLING: Sure. "The Five" logo all over it. Fantastic.

GUILFOYLE: This is a lot of fun, isn't it?

BOLLING: Who is left? Kimberly, Dana, Greg, right?

BECKEL: Sharper image. We know that much.

GUTFELD: That is pretty awesome.

BOLLING: A snowball thrower.


BOLLING: This is perfect! Wow.

PERINO: That would be great if there wasn't global warming.

GUTFELD: You know what's funny?

BOLLING: This is going to be fun.

GUTFELD: This might be first evidence that anybody bought something from Sharper Image. Everybody walks around and looks around. This is killing time for a flight.

BOLLING: This could be the perfect gift.

GUILFOYLE: Is that not the cutest thing ever?

BOLLING: This is amazing.

GUILFOYLE: Whoever got that gift is amazing.

BOLLING: So you scoop, you make the snowball. You lock it.

GUILFOYLE: Lock and load, baby.

GUTFELD: You know what, though? This is a sign of a decline in society we can't make our own snowballs.

BECKEL: By the way, there's no snow, what you got to do?


BOLLING: Takings notes for the rest of the show. Snowball. Go like that.

BECKEL: I beg your pardon. That was --

GUILFOYLE: You can do it with Eric Chase.

BOLLING: Make a snowball. You open it. Camera six?


GUILFOYLE: Incoming.

GUTFELD: That is great.

GUILFOYLE: Sharper Image.

BOLLING: I'm supposed to guess. Kimberly.


BOLLING: Post-it note if you were the one --

GUILFOYLE: Oh, I did get it for you. They just didn't know what it was. Talking in my ear.

BECKEL: So, we know who gave the other two.

GUILFOYLE: Well, no, I think this is a good gift because you had to think about the person involved and Eric not only --

BECKEL: It's good gift.

GUILFOYLE: -- dancing in oil. He was playing baseball.

BECKEL: Here's the good news, is that there is no snow.

GUILFOYLE: Thanks to Al Gore because he --

BECKEL: That's right. Global warming, it's what it is.

GUILFOYLE: Should I open mine next? How are we doing?

BOLLING: That would be the best thing to do.

GUILFOYLE: I'm doing a Christmas audible here. I'm going next.

Oh, my gosh! Every year I'm getting a picture frame. Is this really, really? Is this you again?

GUTFELD: I don't know. I'm not saying --

GUILFOYLE: Dana saw in my picture. Photo shop one.

PERINO: It's creepy, it's you as you if you were sitting there.

BECKEL: Let me see.

GUILFOYLE: Please make it stop. It's getting bigger every year! Oh, my God, it's growing. It's not bad enough I have a picture. Now --

BECKEL: You promoted that book so much. Next one is full size.

GUILFOYLE: Santa baby.

GUTFELD: The reason I want to do is I've been noticing in my apartment, things missing. My door bell, there will be stuff gone. I figured. We took a DNA sample, it's Kimberly.

PERINO: Secret Santa is supposed to be making it secret and someone guess who --

GUTFELD: Dana, you gave it to her because you had it for a year and you got sick of it.

GUILFOYLE: Let me tell you something. Is this from the book budget? Because you seem like the eyebrow is arch slightly more, in a little pointy elf direction. Bigger, nicer photoshop photo of you.

GUTFELD: It's actually life size. That's the size of my head. So, you can go to Sharper Image and buy a body pillows and put my head on the body pillow and you'll never --

GUILFOYLE: That happens, commitment.

BECKEL: The picture size, too.

GUILFOYLE: I mean, this is hilarious.

BECKEL: Look at that face. Doesn't he looks like the Texas chainsaw massacre?



GUILFOYLE: OK, I think it's very cute. I like at it lot. Right next to the baby one. Obviously, Greg got it for me.

GUTFELD: Yes, that should be --

PERINO: Do you -- do you realize you had her last year and I had Bob last year.

GUILFOYLE: I think for once I am going to make money off of your stalkerish obsession, because I could probably sell this now. I throw in one of your books.

GUTFELD: Yes, I think so.

GUILFOYLE: I could put it on eBay or something. Look at this.

GUTFELD: I think you should put that next to be the picture of your child and give him a complex.

BECKEL: Is he even stalking you? He's still stalking you?

GUILFOYLE: Look at the split screen of you. Sort of creepy.

PERINO: Do the eyebrow.

GUTFELD: I can't do it on my --

GUILFOYLE: So much Botox.

BECKEL: How can you get more hair?


GUILFOYLE: You can't do it anymore. He can afford it now. What?

OK, what's in the red bag? I see a little --

BOLLING: It must be for Dana thing, right?

PERINO: It's my turn?

GUTFELD: It's going to be dog-related.

GUILFOYLE: I thought we had a special delivery.

PERINO: That's good.

GUILFOYLE: Man, I want that.

BOLLING: Can you do this one first?

By the way --

BECKEL: You do this one first, you just took that one out.

PERINO: Oh, very good.


BOLLING: I know because --

PERINO: And vampire wine.

BOLLING: No, here's the deal. I just bought that wine. This is true. I found the coolest wine for you. It's called dog wine. And it comes with pictures of dogs.

I had it and I had it sent from California. I swear to you, if it comes within this hour, we're going to bring it out. It's FedEx. It's on its way.

PERINO: They should have FedEx guy put on Santa hat and bring it in.

BECKEL: If it gets here.

PERINO: Can I still drink this wine?

BOLLING: Absolutely.

PERINO: Thank you and this is great. You know, my love of my life.

GUILFOYLE: Actually, you can never go wrong with a bottle of wine.

BECKEL: Yes, you can. Believe me you can.

BOLLING: The dog wine, if it gets here in time.

GUILFOYLE: So, this is what we want to do, we'll get close, share with one another. That feel-good type of thing. You don't have to buy medication for it, Greg.

Let's talk about what Christmas was like when we were little as a kid -- Eric.

BOLLING: Wait. This segment is not over yet?


GUILFOYLE: It's only just beginning.


GUTFELD: I'm told we have three minutes.

BOLLING: We have three more minutes. Really? OK.


BOLLING: When we were little kids -- yes, Christmas was cool. I mean, Christmas was fun. We had a lot of money. We had beautiful, wonderful, wonderful parents. When are we doing --

PERINO: Did you have a lot of snow in Chicago?

BOLLING: Snow is always a white Christmas. There is me on a good Christmas. That's me about 4 years old or so.

Do you have the other one? Look at that. That's me --

BECKEL: I thought your hair went from blonde to black.

BOLLING: Crying. I was destroyed. I did not like Santa --

PERINO: You did not like him.

BOLLING: That's it. That's good enough.

GUILFOYLE: OK, that was your -- it sounds like it was nice Christmas.

BECKEL: What's that?

GUILFOYLE: All right. Dana, how about your Christmas?

PERINO: I grew up in Colorado, so we often had white Christmas as well. We'd go to Wyoming, to my grandpa's ranch, up there in Newcastle, Wyoming, or to Rawlins, Wyoming. So, that was fun.

I remember them fondly. That's my Grandma Perino. She unfortunately

-- she is passed away now. But she had been obviously in Denver, because he had this avocado green chair and drape. So, I kind of remember. That's me with my stocking.

But you have the other one when I got my favorite gifts ever.

BECKEL: You didn't grow much, did you?

PERINO: That's my sister. My mom had to put a tree in the playpen because -- I think it's because my sister would not leave it alone. So, that's Angie as a little one. Play pen. I don't know if kids are still allowed to be put in a playpen.

BECKEL: She wasn't crying.

PERINO: No, I was very -- I'm always good.

BECKEL: You're such a wuss.

PERINO: Very dignified. No crying. I don't know what that was.

That wasn't very good one.

Where is the other one? We have one more. Well, there was one I thought was the best one. It was when I got my Sesame Street diorama thing. I could carry it around and put all the different animals in it.

All the Big Bird and Oscar and put them all around, take them around.

GUILFOYLE: That is --

GUTFELD: Amazing. Amazing history.


GUILFOYLE: You could sell that to eBay as well.

All right. Greg?

PERINO: I also had a dog.

GUILFOYLE: What was the dog's name when you're little?

PERINO: What else you do want to know about me?

GUTFELD: I think we got -- I think I got a dog for Christmas. I can't remember, though.

PERINO: That's not necessarily a good idea.

GUTFELD: Oh, isn't?


GUTFELD: OK, Ms. Jasper.


PERINO: Because people get a dog for Christmas. They don't necessarily always take care of it.

My favorite Christmas present I ever got was the People's Almanac. I got that like 1972, a big fat book. And I sat and I read -- I just read it. They had a whole glossary of sexual terms.

My parents did not know what's in that book. Anybody my age knows the book I'm talking about.

BECKEL: I didn't.

PERINO: It was Walensky (ph). They also did the book of lists. They had stuff in there and you would learn stuff you shouldn't have learned. We had a fake pink tree for a while.

And it was really cheap kaleidoscope. Remember those things that you put behind the tree? And it go like this krrrr --

BECKEL: Where are your pictures?

GUILFOYLE: Yes. But you know what?

GUTFELD: I don't have any pictures. We chose to forget the Gutfeld history.

GUILFOYLE: Why? Because your mom is so cute and sweet. You must just have been very happy as a baby.

BECKEL: All right. Kimberly, you're up.

GUILFOYLE: Yes. We have -- Bob and I to go. I think we have a couple pictures of me. I loved Christmas. I still love Christmas. I think it's a very happy, special time of year. I loved to sit on Santa's lap.

And that's me with the Christmas stocking and I had Barbie's in it. I was 9 months old. That's obviously adorable. I mean, c'mon.

And that's me as a baby.

BECKEL: You weren't crying there either.

GUILFOYLE: And a pink outfit. I'm very happy.

BOLLING: Where's yours, Beckel?

GUILFOYLE: My daddy took me. I loved it. Kept going back.

BECKEL: That's cute.

GUILFOYLE: Yes. Go ahead.

BOLLING: Where's your Santa?

BECKEL: Well, I don't have any pictures, because they had not yet invented cameras when I was a child. So I really, my Christmas memories are -- the best ones I have were the last of the 15, 20 years. The early ones were -- well, let's put hit the way, they're probably forgettable, you know?

PERINO: Did you like try to make Christmas special for your kids then?

BECKEL: Yes, I did. That's exactly how I reacted to it, because we had -- we had many years there were no Christmas. So when I got out there, I finally had a chance to get it to my kids.


GUTFELD: Or whatever, or it was truly a white Christmas.


BOLLING: Before we go --

GUILFOYLE: Well, we're all family now, Bob, and you do nice things with all the lights for kids, which is very nice.

BOLLING: Can I show you guys? We have this for you guys? They have the logo.

PERINO: I wonder what Greg is going to put in there. I'll have water.

BOLLING: Dana, the coolest things --


GUILFOYLE: Andre's over there.

BOLLING: Andrea, her tumbler.

GUTFELD: Full of Jasper blood.


GUILFOYLE: I am not sure what you put in these. Whatever it is, you are going to drink a lot of it. It will be good, maybe some Christmas eggnog.

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