5 reasons to be thankful for president's reelection

Gutfeld: Giving thanks for Obama


This is a rush transcript from "The Five," November 22, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Thanksgiving is the time to give thanks, I'm not sure why exactly, but that's what the Hallmark people tell me.

So, here's five reasons why you should be thankful the president was reelected.

One, it's like tearing off a band-aid in one shot. Come on. You think if he lost, he was going to come back in eight years to run again with grayer hair, making him three times more trustworthy. See, Kofi Annan, or Kofi Anim, who knows?

So, it's like having dinner with the in-laws. You want to get it over with. Then he could go off and become emperor of Europe.

Two, we're now 52 percent less racist, although I doubt the left will see it that way. In fact, I bet they think reelecting Obama makes us more racist, because we actually forced him to run when we should have anointed him, or at the very least recognized that he was born among us to forgive our sins, amen.

Three, Eva Longoria can run for Senate and get off Twitter. If she promises young voters they could stay on their parent's health care until 50, she could be president.

Four, watch President Obama become more conservative. As Malia hits

18, you think the president really wants her to date an Occupy Wall Street? Hell no. He'll call Mitt to see if his grandsons are of age.

Five, Obama's dog is safe for another four years, if it's still the same dog. After all, the best way to hide a canine diet, eat the same dog over and over again and replace it with the same type. It's what's she doing to Jasper.

Don't you think I'm right, Eric, that it's good that he got reelected because you knew he was going to run again anyway?

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Well, sure. I think there are a couple of groups that could be happy he got reelected. The illegals are going to be happy because they'll be amnesty in the second term, no question about it.

But here's one that no one has really talked about, and I think this is going to happen in the second term. I think he's going to set up an infrastructure bank. He'll set that up. He'll put billions and billions of dollars, taxpayers dollars to it, and the unions are the ones who are going to benefit from it. He's going to dole out union contracts through the infrastructure bank. God knows we need infrastructure help. But it's going to be American taxpayers.

In other words, it's the stimulus that he did the first time around the second time around.

BECKEL: And it's only 7 percent unions in the construction business.

BOLLING: And guess what, Bob? Guess what? They're benefitted from the stimulus, benefit --

GUTFELD: You know what's great about this? It's like this is like a Thanksgiving dinner where I've accidentally introduced politics into it.

BECKEL: Yes, sir.


TANTAROS: That was on the list of faux pass and things not to do.

GUTFELD: I know. I know.

PERINO: Now, the food is getting colder.

GUTFELD: I'm sorry, Dana.

BECKEL: Let me just say, I think it's a blessing the president got reelected for all of who realize that. But more importantly, you know, you can say how he divides the country, this great division against the 1 percent versus 99, and yet the Republicans divide the country with 47 percent versus 53 percent. So, I think the award for dividing the country clearly to the Republicans.

BOLLING: And how did they do that?

BECKEL: You're the one who said talked about all the time, 47 percent don't pay taxes.

BOLLING: They divide it if you take Mitt Romney's words and put them in a blender and it comes out like this stuff right here. And saying that he -- he wasn't talking about. He was talking about people who received benefits. He wasn't dividing the country.

BECKEL: Yes, he does.

TANTAROS: Yes. By the way, all we had to listen to this year is Obama lambaste the rich. He's been openly hostile to businesses. That's how he got elected. It was class warfare.

BECKEL: No, not class warfare.

TANTAROS: Absolutely how he got elected.

BECKEL: One percent is class warfare, 1 percent versus 99 percent?

TANTAROS: Absolutely.

GUTFELD: Where did that come from, Occupy Wall Street?


GUTFELD: Where did you get the 99 percent and 1 percent? That's from Occupy Wall Street, which was all about class warfare.

BECKEL: That's all he wants to do, is raise taxes on 1 percent.

GUTFELD: No, he wants to do more than that. And we know that.

Raising taxes on 1 percent --

BECKEL: Thank you very much for introducing this on Thanksgiving Day, OK?


PERINO: What I'm thankful for is that the election is over, and that it was decisive and that he won, and now, the Republican Party is going to have to regroup. I think that that was good for everybody, get it done, over with and move on.

GUTFELD: Dot-org.

PERINO: If you will.


PERINO: Anyway, I think it's good. I think people are -- Thanksgiving will be good time to just press the reset button so to speak.

GUTFELD: Andrea, also, if he had lost, the media would be devastated and we'd have to deal with that.

TANTAROS: That -- I would be thankful for that. I'm not thankful that he got reelected. I'm sorry. I can't say it's a good thing for the Republican Party. I don't. I don't think it's a good thing for the country.

I'm not thankful for it. I don't care that it gives us four more years to regroup. I think the damage he's going to do in four years is going to be pretty detrimental. So, I'm not going to hit the reset button. I'm going to hit the button on the box of wine and pour some wine through the next four years.

BECKEL: Maybe the next four years, you're all available to tell us what the Republican Party stands for.

GUTFELD: The thing is we don't have that problem.

BECKEL: Yes, you certainly do.

GUTFELD: No, they don't have the messenger. They have a message. You guys never had a message, but you have a message.

BOLLING: Can I agree with him? I agree with you, and I agree with both of you. I think the Republican Party doesn't have the proper focus on a message. It's a splintered group. There's a far right who believes in one thing.


BOLLING: There's a center.

GUTFELD: That's OK, though.

BOLLING: They believe in something completely different. But I agree with Andrea, the next four years could be really, really detrimental.

TANTAROS: I think the left has a message. It's dependency politics.

They got a message and a messenger.

Our message, which is not the dependency politics, they don't like it, people like goodies.

BECKEL: Well, if you buy a house and you take a mortgage, you get all that off your taxes, then you're dependent too, right?

TANTAROS: And it looks like the Democrats might actually do that and embrace Romney's idea?

BECKEL: Flat tax, flat tax. Do away with all loopholes.

GUTFELD: I have to say, I don't mind there's a division on the right. I think it's good and I think what's more important is finding a leader that is inspirational, a Ronald Reagan -- you know, Ronald Reagan, you disagreed with a lot of stuff that Reagan did.


GUTFELD: It didn't matter.

BOLLING: Here's what happens when you have a split faction on the right, the vote turnout doesn't happen, because the people who don't like the candidate say I'm not going. We had 3 million fewer votes this time around.


BECKEL: You still leave something for the right to become president of the United States?

BOLLING: I think someone from the right will be the next president.

TANTAROS: Can I just make a good point, too, about this dependency politics? You know, President Obama tried to limit charitable deductions and it's Thanksgiving Day. That's going to prevent a lot of people from giving, to a lot of very good causes.

Now, this is a Democratic idea. So, Bob, I'm interested to see what happens with this fiscal cliff. If to pay for all these social programs, they're going to limit deductions to charity. I think it's terrible they're taking the deduction away from the billion dollar a year hedge fund people. I think it's just horrible.

BOLLING: Did you read number two on your list of things not to bring up, fiscal cliff is number two.


TANTAROS: It was? On the "Woman's Day" list.

GUTFELD: I'm really cool guy that's coming over to dance.

BOLLING: That's got a lot of money.

GUTFELD: Yes, fiscal cliff, is going to be spinning some records.

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