This is a rush transcript from "The Five," November 13, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: So last week, Mediaite got hold of a letter from Fordham University President Joseph McShane -- yes, that guy -- to his students condemning College Republicans for asking Ann Coulter to speak on his campus. You know, because she is Satan.
He said her rhetoric is needlessly provocative, something you never see on a college campus. Apparently, he's never set foot in his actual classrooms. You want needless rhetoric? Try talking to one of the tenured Marxists on faculty. Actually, that's noxious rhetoric.
But Joe is not a bad guy. He's just predictable.
I'm kind of ticked at the College Republicans who apologized and rescinded the invitation to Ann -- wusses. You never appease those who want to destroy you, even when they bully you. So, in bastion of free expression, the student group was cowed into pathetic retreat, show of liberal in intolerance that closes the book on debate.
Speaking of which, what a great time for my book, "The Joy of Hate", to come out, for it reveals the ultimate lie of the tolerant left. I call them the "toleradic," tools who pretend to be tolerant until they actually meet a conservative. It's why Coulter gets thrown off campus while assorted left-wing haters still parade in.
So, congrats to the College Republicans, Fordham and its president is proud of you. Me, not so much -- which is why I'm sending my book to you, perhaps in the spirit of free expression, you can burn it.
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Can you explain to us this thing you brought out here on the stage?
GUTFELD: This is the bus. This is the bus.
BECKEL: They're actually putting a bus that size with you in it?
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: No, not that size.
GUTFELD: You making a height joke about me getting into this bus is rather rich.
PERINO: It is rich. That is rich.
GUTFELD: Yes. This is going to Gulf Coast from November 28th to December 1st, starting in Florida and going all way --
PERINO: Do you feel like you have just given birth to a book?
GUTFELD: If I knew what it was like to give birth to anything, I could answer that question. But, yes, it's a long -- it takes about nine months. There's a lot of pain.
GUTFELD: You are often throwing up in the morning.
PERINO: A lot of excitement.
GUTFELD: Yes, there's a lot of excitement.
ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: Although you would have been one of those mothers that drank during her pregnancy because in your book, you actually say that it took a lot of alcohol and prescription meds to get through it.
GUTFELD: I wrote this book in a bar.
BECKEL: You know, this is exactly kind of bus that drug -- that rockers carry around the country where they do lots of drinking and lots of drugs.
GUTFELD: But that won't happen here. Because I'll meet a lot of excellent Americans who want to read my book and get a signed copy.
BECKEL: Do they do this for other authors?
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Can I be the first to shake your hand? I read part of it.
GUTFELD: Thank you.
BOLLING: I also read the back where you mention us a little bit. Could you spare the words?
BOLLING: Bolling in there --
BECKEL: Did they --
GUTFELD: I did mention you. I mentioned you on the back.
BOLLING: I know.
BECKEL: Did they have a picture?
GUTFELD: He knows.
BECKEL: Greg, you didn't put his picture in it.
GUTFELD: No, I thanked everybody.
Bob, Eric, Kimberly, Juan, Andrea. And I mentioned Dana and Dana's husband, because, well, Dana --
PERINO: Did you mention my book? No?
BOLLING: You forgot Jasper?
GUTFELD: I forgot him.
PERINO: What is your favorite story that you tell in the book? What's your favorite anecdote?
GUTFELD: I have to say I like -- there's a whole chapter on pop culture and about rock music and how rock stars pretend to be edgy and rebellious when, in fact, they're not. They have almost the same political temperament across the board. They won't let their music be played in Republican rallies. They throw a fit.
But they are supposed to be rebellious but they're not, but they still kiss power's butt. Look at the way they flock to Obama.
The real rebellion are the people who rebel against rebellion, the people who actually look at people who pretend to be edgy and actually say, I don't need to do that.
BECKEL: Well, let me just say this -- this book was directly pointed at my crowd. I will say, having read it, you'll actually enjoy reading it, folks, if you read it.
PERINO: I thought it had a broader base. It's a fake outrage that drives you crazy from both sides.
BECKEL: Well, most of it was centered on the left.
GUTFELD: But it's not about you, Bob.
BECKEL: You would get in Fordham. You should go to Fordham. The difference between you and Coulter is your book tells the truth and actually can be supported by facts. That's why I think --
TANTAROS: No, but Greg addresses this in his book. Liberals talk about free speech and diversity and a marketplace of ideas on college campuses. Yet, they ban someone for their marketplace of ideas.
And also, another point, Greg, you bring up is, you can be anything you want except for a conservative woman.
TANTAROS: Then they go after you.
BECKEL: I would include yourself. You're conservative, Dana is conservative, a lot of are conservative women are wonderful and smart and excellent. Ann Coulter ain't one of them.
GUTFELD: Oh, c'mon.
BOLLING: I heard your interview this morning. By the way, how are you handling all this extra fame? It's crazy --
GUTFELD: I can't walk down the street without getting mobbed. People outside --
PERINO: Or mugged.
GUTFELD: Or mugged, yes.
BOLLING: No, your description of Christianity versus --
BOLLING: -- intolerance versus Islam is interesting.
GUTFELD: Yes. Well, the fact is you can say just about anything you want. You can put on plays to mock Christianity, or Mormonism, but the media is too smart to do that to Islam, because they watch people die.
BECKEL: When you walk down a street, you must feel like China man in an NBA rally.
PERINO: Oh my God!
BECKEL: Chinese guy. Chinese person.
BECKEL: Chinese person. Chinese person. I'm sorry.
PERINO: He is the tallest midget.
PERINO: OK, listen, let me ask you something.
PERINO: The book was dedicated to?
GUTFELD: Andrew Breitbart. He's a very close of mind. He inspired me. He's a guy that was -- what I would call a happy warrior. You could fight back and forth but you also had a sense of humor about it. He never took yourself too seriously. That's what this is about. It's not getting angry be, just trying to be honest.
BECKEL: You're going to sell a gazillion copies of this.
TANTAROS: You are going to the Villages.
TANTAROS: And I just want to know if anything crazy happens on the bus.
GUTFELD: I heard some wild stuff happened in the Villages. I can't wait.
BECKEL: I've got some extra prescription drugs you might want to sell when you're there.
PERINO: And you're going to Reagan Library, which is so cool. This is great. Congratulations.
GUTFELD: Thank you.
BECKEL: You deserve it.
GUTFELD: Stop it.
BECKEL: All we had to do is listen to you talk about it.
PERINO: He is blushing.
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