This is a rush transcript from "The Five," October 31, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: The real devastation is too hard to comprehend. I speak for San Francisco libs who suffer from the fear of Obama loss. This is their Sandy.
Yes, according to "SFGate" article, Frisco libs or "Fribs," for short, are suffering so much they can't exercise in their home gyms. They suffer from panic attacks. They are sleepless for days.
So, while East Coasters face real danger, these folks tremble at a world without Obama. Whose fault is that? Well, Sandra Fluke didn't work. Big Bird floundered. Smearing Romney failed. So, all they have left is fear. Their own. And this is what happens when you make politics personal to cut yourself off from the rest of the world.
These folks only know hard-line progressives, so to them it's not an election. It's the war of the worlds. We're like aliens bent on eating their brains -- a light meal -- which is why the Obama campaign keeps courting the same votes over and over again. They don't know how to talk to anyone else. That's why there are no Blue Dog Democrats anymore. They left the planet.
Putting birth control before Benghazi is like trick-or-treating on skipped record. Continually hitting the same house after all the candy is gone. You preach to the choir without growing it.
Could there be a link? Maybe Obama should declare San Francisco a disaster area, but I guess that's redundant.
Should we get Red Cross out there right now, Eric?
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: While you do that, I just look over to Bob. Oh, you're such a good sport about some of this stuff sometimes.
GUTFELD: I'm not talking about Bob! Bob knows as many conservatives as he knows liberals.
BOLLING: What is the difference between San Francisco lib or New York lib or lib-lib?
GUTFELD: They're all the same.
ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: Can we also point out that Bob has been so stressed because of this election, he's actually started to go to the gym to blow off some steam.
GUTFELD: He's lost a lot of weight.
TANTAROS: I know, he looks great. I'm glad he's going.
GUTFELD: No, Bob, you do -- you do hang out with a lot of conservatives. A lot of these people don't. They compartmentalize their lives so they think the other side are monsters.
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Picking on San Francisco is a little extreme. That is a bubble within a bubble in a bubble. I mean, it's not like being here where you run across conservative, in my case, every day, every hour, every minute.
But you know, I think it's -- yes, there's a lot of fear going out there and for good reason. I mean, this is going to be a close election. I still think Obama is going to win. But it's going to be very close.
And these people are -- I don't think they know what they will do without him. And Romney scares them. He really does. He scares me.
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: The article says that they have Romney derangement syndrome before he's elected.
PERINO: I wonder if we could ban a phrase? Well, ban a thing. When liberals meet, they will say, you know, I am a Democrat. I'm a life-long liberal. I hate all conservatives. But you seem OK.
They start every argument like that. Every sentence, it doesn't have to be an argument. I hardly ever argue with them.
GUTFELD: Or do they'll say something like, do you really believe in that stuff? Hey, I want to get to this ad, the new ad for Obama. For celebrities are backing Planned Parenthood. It's called "Yes, We Plan."
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP, POLITICAL AD)
BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: We've got to keep moving forward.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We've got to keep moving forward.
OBAMA: We've got to keep moving forward.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: We've got more work to do.
OBAMA: We've got more work to do.
Q-TIP, MUSICIAN: Yes, we plan.
OBAMA: I don't think your boss should decide what is best for your health and safety.
I don't think your insurance company gets to decide what care you should get.
JULIANNE MOORE, ACTRESS I don't think your insurance company gets to decide what care you should get.
OBAMA: And I sure don't think any politician should decide.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And I sure don't think any politician should decide.
OBAMA: The only person who should decide about your health care, is you.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The only person who should decide about your health care, is you.
MARY J. BLIGE, MUSICIAN: You.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: All right. Andrea, here's the thing. Some celebs like one person and some like the other.
But there is something so eerily, scarily lock step. It's a fifth column. These are people who were supposed to be edgy when they were growing up and they wanted to be cool. They are zombies.
TANTAROS: Yes, a lot of original thinkers in Hollywood.
And by the way, how many ads has Julian Moore done? How many ads does Scarlet Johanson done? Does President Obama have real people he could put in an ad besides -- I mean, the article you cited earlier. That woman, picture of the woman who couldn't work out in her home gym. That's like, I can't drive my Maserati.
I mean, are these celebrities going to be able to eat arugula?
PERINO: Well, under Obamacare they get free Prozac.
TANTAROS: Well, that's good. Maybe they'll leave the country.
BECKEL: This is about campaign. This is targeted media.
BECKEL: Targeting it for young people and minorities and women. That's exactly what it is about. It wasn't for the general consumption.
So, don't worry about it. It's not going to be feed in your living room.
GUTFELD: But that's Bob that's my point, in my Gregalogue that this was -- Gregalogue -- monologue -- was that they keep hitting. It's like going trick-or-treating to the same house over and over again. You already got all the candy. There's no more of them.
BECKEL: They needed to turn out.
TANTAROS: But they don't have the candy, which means they're in really big trouble. They can't even get independents, they can't get the candy, they got the pill. Right.
BOLLING: Dana's joke is great.
GUTFELD: What is she insulting?
PERINO: Someone needs to turn out the light. You know that's what you do in your house when you are out of candy. You turn out the porch light so that everyone knows there's no more candy there.
GUTFELD: But you do that at 5:00 p.m. Because you hate children.
PERINO: Trick-or-treating -- we're going to talk about this in "E" block. Treat-or-treating in New York, if you are living in an apartment, let me tell you something. If you are from Wyoming and Colorado, you have to work for the candy. When you go door to door in an apartment, that's not really hard.
GUTFELD: All right.
TANTAROS: Are you calling New York City kids lazy, Dana?
PERINO: A little bit.
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