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Jeff Dunham in 'No Spin Zone'

This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," October 25, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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O'REILLY: "Back of the Book" segment tonight. One of the hottest comedians in the country, our pal ventriloquist, Jeff Dunham. He has a variety of dummies who are very eager, very eager to comment on the presidential election.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

JEFF DUNHAM, VENTRILOQUIST: You, guys, got into another argument on the phone today, didn't you.

WALTER: She calls right back and she goes, "Did you hang up on me?"

(LAUGHTER)

I said, "I don't know. Did it sound something like this. Click."

(LAUGHTER)

O'REILLY: So, Walter, I wanted to talk to you because you're one of the folks and you are supporting Governor Romney for president. Why.

WALTER: Well, I think there's all kinds of reasons. There's all kinds of social reasons. He's a smart guy. He's a good-looking guy, don't you think.

I mean, I think looks has a lot to do with it. I think he's got a lot of things that we shall talk about. I mean, with $16 trillion in debt. Do you know how much that is, Bill.

O'REILLY: Sixteen trillion.

WALTER: Sixteen trillion. That's more zeros than they have hosts on MSNBC. Do you know what I'm saying.

O'REILLY: I think I do.

(LAUGHTER)

WALTER: Mitt Romney is a guy that, I think, we can get behind. He's a strong man, he's a good leader. The same on the vice president side of things.

O'REILLY: When, Walter, you watched the debate the other day --

WALTER: Yes.

O'REILLY: -- and you saw the President not being in command, what did you think.

WALTER: I thought to myself, he should be sitting on someone's knee.

(LAUGHTER)

O'REILLY: That's harsh though.

WALTER: Yes, I think it's the truth. Do you see any similarities between me and Joe Biden.

O'REILLY: Forehead. WALTER: Because there has been an email going around that Joe Biden and I look exactly the same. It's kind of a frightening thing. Do you know what the difference is between me and Joe Biden.

O'REILLY: What.

WALTER: Well, the guy that I work for knows what's going to come out of my mouth. Do you know what I'm saying.

(LAUGHTER)

O'REILLY: I see. Nobody knows what's going to come out of the Vice President's mouth.

WALTER: Exactly.

O'REILLY: Now, when you go to vote, Walter --

WALTER: Yes, sir.

O'REILLY: -- do you object to showing a photo ID.

WALTER: No, I don't.

O'REILLY: OK. So, you would happily show a photo ID in order to get into the polling place.

WALTER: What the hell is wrong with showing a photo ID, Bill. What is the problem with this. I don't understand why you shouldn't show a photo ID. You shouldn't be in this country without a freaking photo ID.

O'REILLY: It expresses the vote.

WALTER: It does not suppress the vote. It makes the ugly folks not show up. If you don't have that, you don't speak the language, you don't have the ID, go home.

O'REILLY: OK, so your theory is it does suppress the vote because it discourages ugly people showing an ID to vote.

WALTER: Yes, now, you're twisting my words. All I'm saying is you should have an ID. Right, you got me on that one, Bill. Well, you're a smarter guy than you look.

O'REILLY: That's for sure.

DUNHAM: It's Dunham.

PEANUT: Not when you look at it. It says Dun Ham, Jeff Dun Ham. Ham. You're the other white meat.

(LAUGHTER)

O'REILLY: Here's Peanut. And Peanut is a supporter of President Obama. Correct, Peanut.

PEANUT: Absolutely. I'm a supporter of President Obama. Of course I am. He's a great president. He's one of the greatest presidents we've ever had.

O'REILLY: What is the thing about President Obama that you like the most.

PEANUT: Well, first of all, image is important. I know Walter said looks is important but that's not it. Image, Bill. Image is important for the whole world.

He's the leader of the free country. Look at this guy. He is cool, don't you think so. The guys has drones and a kill list, you know what I mean. This is a cool guy.

O'REILLY: What about the economy, Peanut. It's not really doing that well.

PEANUT: Well, I don't know about the economy, Bill. I mean, unemployment, those numbers came out and it's below 8 percent for the first time in years.

O'REILLY: And you know what, it's about --

PEANUT: And that's even after Jim Lehrer quit after the first two minutes in the debate.

O'REILLY: That's right. But unemployment among puppets is about 35 percent.

PEANUT: Oh, wait. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

O'REILLY: Oh, I see. You're mocking me.

PEANUT: Yes, I understand he's trying to get rid of PBS. That's what Romney is trying to do. He doesn't want PBS anymore.

I will speak for Walter. He is for getting rid of PBS. Do you know why.

O'REILLY: Why.

PEANUT: Walter says that he wants a $1.35 for a Big Bird. He's going to go to Chick-fil-A.

O'REILLY: OK, he's going to get it cooked.

PEANUT: Yes.

O'REILLY: OK, do you object to showing an ID when you vote.

PEANUT: Well, Bill, you know, I love it when you ask dumb questions.

(LAUGHTER)

Do you think that I need to show an ID. Look at me.

O'REILLY: You are pretty unique.

PEANUT: Yes, I am pretty unique. And that's another reason I like Obama. He doesn't have a birth certificate either.

(LAUGHTER)

O'REILLY: So, you both have something in common.

PEANUT: Yes, no one knows. Are we from Hawaii. Are we from Kenya. I don't know. Are we from Mars. It doesn't matter. All I know is that I have a tag that says, "Inspected by number 4."

O'REILLY: But when you vote in a few weeks --

PEANUT: Yes.

O'REILLY: -- they are going to ask you for an ID.

PEANUT: And I love the fact that you think I vote, Bill.

(LAUGHTER)

Thanks for believing in the magic.

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