Miller hits the road with Romney

Comedian talks about hitting the campaign trail with the Republican nominee


This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," October 17, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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O'REILLY: Thanks for staying with us. I'm Bill O'Reilly. In the "Miller Time" segment tonight, the D-Man couldn't be here tonight because he's on the road, campaigning for Mitt Romney.

I'm not kidding. Miller is actually on the Romney plane. How frightening is that. But before he took off, I spoke with Miller last night.


So, Miller, you know, congratulations, after the "Bolder-Fresher" tour was so successful, the Romney people grabbed you at the opening.

DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS POLITICAL COMMENTATOR: They looked at our counts and said, "We've got to get somebody from that tour." And you're in the even-handed business, so I'm out there.

O'REILLY: So, what you have learned being on the road with the campaign and opening, you know, introducing. What have you learned you didn't know.

MILLER: That he really is -- you know, Bill, in a world where they throw the word, "great" around so capriciously, I mean, "Everybody is great," "Business is great," "That's great," he's a good man.

When I introduced him in L.A. a few weeks ago, he came offstage and I was thinking, in such a hipster world, this man came up to me, he put his hand on his shoulder and said, "Gosh, Dennis, what you just said was so nice."

And I said, maybe it's time for a "gosh" president in this country. You know what I mean. Hew as a -- he's genuinely a straight-shooter. And, listen, I'm a square. I dig his cats who are square.

O'REILLY: All right. So, you say that there's no pretense about him. When I covered him up in Boston, I didn't see that, you know. But he's shy. He's a shy guy.

MILLER: A little reticent. But, Billy, the key there is when he said that 87 percent of the democratic state legislature in Massachusetts was democratic and he worked hand-and-glove with them to yield the best school system, manna from heaven for moderates.

You know, that was the key line in that this thing about my five sons is sweet. He had good balance. He was solid in his base. But when he said that, I think people are so sick of the --

O'REILLY: Yes, polarization, yes. Well, you know, that was one of the highlights of the first debate. Now, when you go out there, I mean, do you do comedy. Do you do, you know, a few lines.

MILLER: You know, I'm not going to screw it up, Bill. You know what, I'm going to go out and I'll do a couple, you know, I got a couple lines.

I might say, "You know, I was backstage and I just had a cup of coffee and the coffee was so old and bitter." And I said, "What's with this coffee." And they said, "That's just Joe being Joe."

And so, yes, I might throw that shot in. But that's about as far as I'll go with it.

O'REILLY: You might mock Biden a little bit.

MILLER: Well, I'll take a shot at Biden. I was watching the debate the other night and I was looking at Biden's snides.

What does that remind me of. And it reminded me of the logo on the Cleveland and Indians hat. So, I went over and watched baseball for the second half. You know, that's what Biden looked like to me.


O'REILLY: Do you get any jazz for being on the FACTOR. I mean, do you get any, you know -- people, when they see you coming out and all of that.

MILLER: Listen, people. Billy, the show is even-handed. Can I tell you, anybody -- put it this way, anybody who watches the show kind of gives good marks to the FACTOR. The people who hate the FACTOR --

O'REILLY: Don't watch.

MILLER: I say when did you watch -- what particularly -- I wouldn't watch him. I mean, what are you telling me for that.

O'REILLY: So, you're warmly-received then when you go out on the Romney trail.

MILLER: Yes. But I will say this one, people come up to me and talk to me about you. They think you bust chops as much on conservatives on the show as they do liberals. And I know that's the thing for you.

O'REILLY: That's what I do. That's my job.

MILLER: So, it's not like I go out and it's just non-stop love fest. They just think -- you know what it is. You've got like a little Garroway in you. It's good broadcast journalism.

O'REILLY: A little Dave Garroway in me.

MILLER: Well, I'm just saying. I always think a communicator.

O'REILLY: He had his sweaters all the time.

MILLER: Yes, and you have -- and, you know, I have the chimp. You didn't have the chimp. He had a friend monkey.


O'REILLY: Almost had.

MILLER: But it's a solid -- you know, the show is like respected because they think it's solid pro-journalism.

O'REILLY: We're trying. OK, couple of things that came in today that you might not know about.

MILLER: All right.

O'REILLY: New poll that said, who would you rather babysit your child, Romney or Obama. This is ABC News. And they must have spent days thinking this one up, all right. So, Romney loses in the babysitting poll.


O'REILLY: So, I guess, they think he might outsource the job and you might have a Taiwanese guy there.


MILLER: But, I think, what that reflects is the fact that Obama has done such a good job over the last four years of instituting a nanny state that they figured, it might just translate on over to babysitting.


O'REILLY: You just knocked that up, all right. I wouldn't -- I don't think I'd want the President babysitting because, you know, Reverend Wright might come over and, you know, the kid would go, "Gun!" "What? Where'd you learn that?!" "Well, Reverend Wright came over."

MILLER: Well, at this point, after four years, I think Obama reminds them of the Saint Bernard in Peter Pan, you know.




O'REILLY: Can you imagine ABC News and "Washington Post" and this is what they're talking about.

MILLER: The well is dry, Bill.

O'REILLY: All right, who would you rather cutting your lawn, all right.

MILLER: The well is dry if that's what they're polling on now.

O'REILLY: And, Miller, are you going to break this tonight on the FACTOR. He's got a new book that he wants me to --

MILLER: Oh, yes. I asked them to put the cover up. Do you have it here. "Killing Lincoln Logs."


Now, there's nothing in the book. But, I figure, if they Google "Killing Lincoln," which has sold 53 million copies, they might not want to wait for the time delay to order that. And they might get "Killing Lincoln Logs." So, that's why I did it.


O'REILLY: Did you have Lincoln logs when you were a kid.

MILLER: I used to walk eight miles through the snow to build my Lincoln logs.


O'REILLY: You know problem with Lincoln logs, once the dog would eat them. And then you'd have to do the Heimlich on them. Well, then, there's the Lincoln log.

All right, Dennis Miller, everybody. Here we go.


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