Gutfeld: Do liberal celebrities think we're idiots?

Stars take stage at Democratic National Convention


This is a rush transcript from "The Five," September 7, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: This is a Greg News Alert. Liberal celebrities are a chuckle buckets.


EVA LONGORIA, ACTRESS: Mitt Romney would raise taxes on middle class families to cut his own and mine. And that's not who we are as a nation. Let me tell you why, because the Eva Longoria who worked at Wendy's flipping burgers, she needed a tax break. But the Eva Longoria who works on movie sets does not.


GUTFELD: Yes, Eva Longoria wants you the sacrifice because she is doing the same, offering up an entire class of Americans who aren't as stinking rich as her.

Remember, the not-so "Desperate Housewife" makes millions mouthing other people's words, so it's easy for her to give away other people's money.

Sacrifice is cake when whatever the government takes still leaves you with enough cash to buy a small island. There is no difference lifestyle-wise between $50 and $25 million. Even Kimberly can't spend all that on shoes.


GUTFELD: But in Eva's head, small family business is just like her. What a fake.

I'd call her an actress, but that's too mean. She is just a cool kid sacrificing the uncool because they didn't get rich playing make believe.

Then there is Kerry Washington.


KERRY WASHINGTON, ACTRESS: Today, there are people out there trying to take away rights that our mothers, our grandmothers and our great-grandmothers fought for, rights that we fought for, our rights to vote, our right to choose, our right the affordable quality education, equal pay, access to healthcare, and we, the people, cannot let that happen.


GUILFOYLE: My goodness.

GUTFELD: She thinks someone is taking away her right to vote.

Wait, maybe she is in a character for role for as a crusader for abused women in Afghanistan. Where do these people live? What America do they inhabitant? In the coked up called Hollywood, Kansas becomes Kabul.

Finally, Scarlett Johansson claims her friends need Planned Parenthood. Wow, some friend you are. You're worth millions. Why don't you help them instead of me?

Look, no one is trying to take away their pills either, Scarlett. Frankly, I don't want Hollywood to reproduce but I'm not going to pay for that option.

Don't you see the difference, Scar Jo? Don't you get it? If you'd like to discuss it further, I'm free for dinner. And I'll pay. I know how helpless women can be.


GUILFOYLE: Oh, my goodness.


DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: I am so glad you will be picking up the check.

GUILFOYLE: I mean, for once!

BOLLING: That was a little angry.

GUILFOYLE: You're fired up.

GUTFELD: You're kidding me, I don't care. Do you think I really care?

Here is the thing, Kerry Washington, I want to -- I want to ask Dana a question. You can still play with your phone.

Washington was so into it, she created so many straw men there, it was a fire hazard. There is nobody trying to do any of those things. Nobody is trying to take away the birth control or right to vote.

PERINO: I was trying to think what does she mean by taking away the right to vote? I suppose if she were an illegal immigrant who was voting illegally and there was a voter ID law, maybe --

BECKEL: That's what she's talking about.

PERINO: But she is not an illegal immigrant. No one taking away American citizen's right to vote.

BOLLING: Woman's right to vote.


PERINO: You're the one, Bob, who always says that women should haven't the right to vote.

BECKEL: Who says that?

PERINO: You do.


BECKEL: Wait a minute. When did I say that?

GUTFELD: You say it all the time. You're not included with the conversation you're playing with your phone and these people are --

BECKEL: Because everybody else does it.

PERINO: In a commercial break.

GUILFOYLE: Not when we're live, Bob.

BECKEL: What do you mean I say woman --




GUTFELD: -- that there are too many celebrities spouting off their political opinions and not making quality entertainment. I can't find a good movie to see. And it's their fault.

BOLLING: I actually it's funny. She delivered -- you know what? What's her name, Kerry Washington?


BOLLING: She delivered a Joe Biden, Barack Obama speech.

GUTFELD: Very emotional.

BOLLING: Very emotional, well-delivered and I absolutely had no idea what was coming out of her mouth.

GUTFELD: I want to go to K.G.

GUILFOYLE: As Eric was saying, this is what is upsetting about these women. What country do you think we're in? It's demeaning for all the accomplishment and rights that we are able to enjoy every day in this country when other people are suffering, like you said, the women in Afghanistan.

It just makes them look fake and hypocritical and just absolutely ridiculous. They have no creditability to say this. It's hysteria with no truth behind it.


BECKEL: I'm trying to catch a fly.

PERINO: I think it's a mosquito.

GUTFELD: We have bugs in there. I don't know who brought them in.

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