This is a rush transcript from "The Five," August 23, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: So as the economy becomes the ominous sound track to the apocalypse, the DNC has decided to strike up a different band to drown out the noise. Their convention committee has just revealed a list of speakers that includes abortion rights leaders and activist Sandra Fluke -- or Fluke. I can't remember. And why not? Fluke is the media darling who by demanding birth control from religious institutions, won over our very won smitten president -- for she is his Julia. You remember that animated symbol of female dependence on the ever expanding sugar daddy of a state?
Congratulations. I now pronounce you entitlement and wife.
So, their convention is going to be another war on women orgy. But how should Mitt respond? That Obama doesn't discriminate. He is waging a war, not just against women but also men, cats, dogs, marsupials, circus performers -- you name it. This incompetency doesn't see race, creed or color. It hurts everyone.
So, forget birth control pills. It's the Obama economy that's the real contraceptive. Birthrates are dropping because no one is having kids in a dying economy. You want free birth control, it's called misery.
So, will the phony war work? It insults women if you are all Julias, Obama could take you home just by paying for dinner.
In the absence of hope or change, Obama becomes Monty Hall, showering you with parting gifts to hide the fact that policies behind door number two really are number two.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Well done.
Dana, weird numbers coming out -- 175,000 fewer women held jobs in July than June. Couldn't you argue that Obama is leading the war against women?
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Very effectively, I might add.
PERINO: So, at the beginning of the financial crisis, a lot of men lost their jobs, because of construction in manufacturing. But as the economy, you know, not even keeping up with inflation but adding 95,000 jobs here or there a month.
Women have actually lost more jobs. They're not coming back to the workforce, in as strong numbers. The take home pay is squeezed. Now with gas prices, everything leading up to this election, economic insecurity that women feel is increasing, rather than decreasing.
I don't think it's good for President Obama.
GUTFELD: But they get free pills, Dana.
PERINO: This is President Obama's mistake. Instead of free birth control pills, he should have done free menopause patches. Those are very expensive.
I'm not on one yet but I know this.
GUTFELD: I am.
PERINO: The youth poll today that 50 percent of the youth are like furious with Obama. Forget the youth. You need senior citizens and the women to come out with senior citizens and the women to come out with senior citizens menopause patches would have been a much better deal for them.
GUTFELD: I got to look into those.
Andrea, I want to call for a quote. This is from Senator Barbara Boxer, a Planned Parenthood luncheon on Tuesday. She says, "There is a sickness in the Republican Party. Not kidding. Maybe they don't like their moms or their first wives. I don't know what it is."
So, when Boxer, which she brings your mom into this, all bets are off. It's an old playground maxim. If somebody says somebody about your mom, you can say whatever you want about that socialist hack, right?
ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: I love my mom, for the record. I just want to say that.
You know, there is a danger with overreaching. And I think the Democrats have crossed that line.
All of these statements could be effective if women were idiots and women aren't. Women are not going to sit at home, I am woman, hear me beg for birth control?
And if they can't afford birth control, what does it say about Obama economy, really? War on women, four years ago -- let's think about what was happening in the Democratic Party? Oh, right, they were running a woman out of the race in the most disrespectful way humanly possible. So, I wouldn't believe a word that they say when it comes to women.
GUTFELD: Juan, every point she made is brilliant.
JUAN WILLIAMS, CO-HOST: It's stunning. I'm tongue-tied. I'm just thrilled. You are so right. So far right that you are falling off the cliff. But it's OK.
GUTFELD: Completely disrespected. Talk about a war against woman.
WILLIAMS: Imagine politics in America. Imagine how Romney and Obama talk about each other. But now you talk about a woman like that, you're disrespectful. Is that right? Come on.
GUTFELD: You think this strategy is going to work?
WILLIAMS: Look, I'm going to tell you something. What you're going to see at Republican convention is an effort to woo American women.
Republicans know they are losing.
GUTFELD: Single women. Not married. Yes.
WILLIAMS: Especially among single women. But even among married women right now, it's a close race between Obama and Romney. Women in America feel as if in terms of social values, beginning with abortion, by the way, but extending to things like defunding Planned Parenthood, why are the Republicans, why are the old men so angry at women?
PERINO: I think he's wrong. I think that might have been true decades ago. It is not true today. Economic issues matter most to American women.
And I want to ask President Obama a question: Does Obama stand by what Barbara Boxer said? Or does he want to distance himself by her?
WILLIAMS: Well, what's that a part about the first wives or moms?
Republicans don't like their moms?
PERINO: Yes. There is a sickness in the Republican Party.
GUTFELD: We love our mothers.
WILLIAMS: Yes, and your first wives.
PERINO: We got to hear from Eric.
GUTFELD: Eric, I got to get Eric into this, because we don't have a lot of time. Eric --
GUTFELD: Moms, new study, moms are bearing the brunt of this recession. It's a war on moms.
BOLLING: Greg, you nailed it in your monologue. Obama is the real warrior on women not Republicans, Romney, et cetera, bishops.
But I just want to point out Sandra Fluke e-mailed me yesterday. You know President Obama, Michelle Obama has been e-mailing me. Sandra fluke e-mailed me. In a recent statement that was factually inaccurate and on and on, she's going to speak at the DNC. She wants my 3 bucks.
PERINO: It's ridiculous that Trump might speak at the RNC convention?
TANTAROS: Who is Sandra Fluke? Why elevate someone who claims to be successful woman -- no woman should be aspire to be her. She claims to be the smart woman, and she can't afford $9 birth control?
WILLIAMS: She was a student. She's a student at Georgetown.
BOLLING: A 35-year-old --
TANTAROS: She's lazy -- she won't get a job and pay for her own bills. Just you guys.
GUTFELD: Aren't we all students in life? We got to move on.
PERINO: I'll tell you in the break. I'll tell you in the break.
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