Howard Dean's latest rant

Likens Romney, GOP to Ahmadinejad at liberal conference


This is a rush transcript from "The Five," June 11, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: So, Saturday, I went to the museum. And checked out all the Greek statues from 200 to 300 B.C. They were naked. I realize the sculptures weren't good at all. The only reason why they are revered is because they're old.

Ands then it dawned on me the sculptors were pervs trying to get models out of their togas and it was time, and not purpose created the status. It's just porn.

Which brings me to another relic of dying era, Howard Dean. Dean, the most annoying M.D. since Patch Adams. He spoke at Netroots nation on Saturday. In case you don't know what that is, Netroots is like a Star Trek convention if you replace "Star Trek" with irritable bowel syndrome.


GUTFELD: Not a bad idea.

Here's Dean on all things mean; i.e., Republicans.


HOWARD DEAN, FORMER DNC CHAIRMAN: When people say Mitt Romney want to take us back to the '50s, they're not talking about the 1950s. They are talking about 1850s, with the know-nothing party. Does anybody remember the know-nothing party?

They hated immigrants. They didn't like Catholics. They didn't like Jews. They didn't like anybody. They didn't like gay people. But they didn't believe gays existed.

You know, there was some, I think it was President Ahmadinejad back in those days in 1850, they'd like it to like that again. I don't know what the Republicans want, but let them go someplace else and stop doing it to us, because our country is a great country.


GUTFELD: That made sense.

Howard, remember when you were relevant? Now, your perspective seems so quaint, so old fashioned, so 1850s, which is why so as long as the left is pushing division, the more likely Mitt is going to win.

For America is sick of seeing its identity split into warring factions all the time. Dean may be just handed Romney the message. Obama seeks to divide, but I see to unite. I don't see black, gay or Hispanic.

I just see red, white and blue.

That message is poison to the left for it's their message in reverse. The left doesn't see America. They only see separate identities demanding victim status. It's the toxic perspective that ultimately eats itself alive, which is why it belongs in museum with those other dead ideas.

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Tie it back.

GUILFOYLE: I was waiting for that.

GUTFELD: I wanted to bring up the fact I went to a museum with my family. That was the whole point.

GUILFOYLE: To look at naked statues.

GUTFELD: No, I'm walking around going everything is naked teen and we are acting like it's art. It's 2,000 years old. It's OK.

It's terrible. Art is terrible.

GUILFOYLE: What were you expecting? The fashion institute?

PERINO: One of my favorite dates with my husband we went to museum in France and he made up all the captions for all the statues, maybe slightly inappropriate, because I agree with you. It's disgusting and that's why I didn't go to museums.

GUTFELD: If I had my way, we would shut down all the museums. And we replace them with a big giant fast food court.

GUILFOYLE: I like natural history museum, it has dinosaurs.

GUTFELD: All right. Let's talk about -- speaking of dinosaurs, Howard Dean. Bob, not one of his best performances?

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: This is one dinosaur to another?


GUTFELD: You survived. Dinosaurs didn't survive.

GUILFOYLE: T-Rex was a good one.


BECKEL: You made the point well in your monologue, which is unusual situation. You said he was irrelevant. So the question is why are we doing this at all? The idea of bringing Dean up because he is good TV.

GUTFELD: Yes, he is.

BECKEL: Producer says be nice to me. I'll be nice. Good TV.

Listen, the idea of suggesting -- I know a little bit about the no- nothing party. To suggest the Republican Party is like them is ridiculous. And to suggest they are biased against Jews and Catholics is ridiculous. It's not the thing to say.

But also, we shouldn't be covering Howard Dean --

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: But he is kind of their pit bull. Look last week, the Wisconsin taxpayers --

GUTFELD: Can we play the clip of him talking about Wisconsin? Or do we want to keep --

BOLLING: I'm not sure what we are talking about now. Go ahead.

PERINO: He talked about Wisconsin.

GUTFELD: This is the funny part. We'll go back. Sorry. Apologize.


DEAN: First of all, we look at Wisconsin as a win. This is not reported in the mainstream media, we picked up a senate seat which denies Scott Walker majority of the Senate. We put the brakes on him at least until the next election.


BOLLING: Oh, yes. What I was getting to, last week, can of taxpayers open up a can of whoop ass on the unions. Then, President Obama has this issue with leaks. Obamacare is up for potential failure at the Supreme Court level.

Howard Dean has to get out there. He has to play that far left mouth piece and just being provocative. That is all he is good for.

BECKEL: You need whoop-ass on that. I mean, the fact of the matter is, the people of Wisconsin decided it wasn't the best thing to do, policy decision based on the recall election number one.

Number two, the side I was on to get rid of that scab outspent nine to one.

BOLLING: That is incorrect. Absolutely incorrect.

GUILFOYLE: You should see eyeballs on that side of the table when you said that, Bob.

I want to talk about Howard Dean ruined my vacation.


GUILFOYLE: I was finally on vacation at four years, had a margarita, hot tub. And my phone rings. Someone gave Howard Dean my phone numbers. When I was first lady and calling to ask for Gavin's endorsement and ruined the whole vacation.

PERINO: Did he give it?


PERINO: Gavin gave Howard Dean --


GUTFELD: This guy almost became the Democratic nomination for president.


BOLLING: Bob, do you have a can of whoop-ass for me?


BOLLING: You got to bring it.

GUILFOYLE: Fight, fight, fight.

BECKEL: Uh-oh!

GUTFELD: I got to tell you, that Netroots Nation Conference must have been the most depressing place to be this week.

BECKEL: It's almost as bad as the Conservative Political Action down in Washington.


BECKEL: You want some -- CPAC -- you want whoop-ass is that bring it.

BOLLING: Bring it.

BECKEL: You bring it, too.

BOLLING: Bring it, big boy.

GUTFELD: I almost don't want to. We want to apologize to children at home who don't know what they're talking about.

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