The big show here on Fox News. The new prime time one on Fox Business. We do 'em…this crazy debut week; you can't stop talking about 'em.
"Neil, I just wanted to give a 'yodel' out to the Fox Business Network for moving you to your new time slot..."
"...as much as I enjoy all of the shows on both the news and business networks, there seemed to be a dearth of truly quality programming during this slot on either network."
"Neil, I watched both your shows yesterday…did you not have your daily donuts? You were an unrelenting attack dog with your guests. Loved it!"
Marc in Minneapolis.
"May I suggest you get your own show on the smart ass comedy channel?"
Jane and Victor D. in Phoenix.
"We thought your Fox Business show would be just like your Fox News show, so we never bothered. But wow, were we ever wrong..."
"...it's like you let your hair down and go wild. Ok, not wild, but hot...well, not maybe hot...but different...very different."
"You’re the most unlikely prime time host in the history of TV...plain, kind of frumpy, not all that handsome. You don't scream or shout or cut a guest's mike..."
"...but there's something about you at this new hour that compels me to watch. It's like evil death rays are coming out of your eyes and you've got people in a trance..."
"...and lent their TV remotes useless...I don't know what it is, but I’m hooked. It's weird, but I’m hooked."
Talk to Nancy, Eddie, because she doesn't seem remotely "hooked." she emails:
"You’re the nerdy guy I happily turned down for the junior prom. You're still nerdy. You're still in love with yourself...and I see you're still ugly and have snap-on hair. Yuck then. Yuck now."
Nancy, is that you? Man, you are still "so" not over me!
David in Wilmington, N.C... laments my tough time period.
"So, now what am I supposed to do? Who scheduled you at 8 o'clock…this is a tough choice. I mean, I can't base it on dress code because y'all are pretty even on that score..."
"...excitement? It's a close call... Okay, so you have a better wit than those guys… this has given me pause..."
"...only time will tell. My wife tells me to turn off the TV and read a book. Didn't O'Reilly write one?"
Carol in New Brunswick, New Jersey.
"I love you and Bill, and I discovered both your shows repeat, so thank the lord."
So, good to know you can now watch me live at 8, Carol, and catch bills very fine repeat at 11…it's a win-win!! Good for you!"
John in Las Vegas.
"I’d rather put needles in my eyes than catch your phony dribble, defending the one percent. It's "the factor" for me…all the way."
Good for you, John, because it's not as if my friend bill is "in" the one percent, right?
"Neil, I am on my 4th straight day of watching you, and Bill who?"
Zachary via Yahoo.
"You don't seriously think you're going to rule your new time period, do you?"
Of course not, Zachary, I think I’m going to rule…the world!!!
Sara in Fort Lauderdale.
"Let’s say you do become the most watched personality in prime time, how would that make you feel? After all, Bill helped make you what you are..."
"...letting you appear on his much better show so many times, he gave you great exposure. How would you return the favor?"
I'd make him a contributor, Sara. He'd be my Dennis Miller.
Alex via AOL.
"You couldn't beat CSpan 2 at three in the morning, even if you had the Rockettes doing your opening number."
Well, I’m not up against CSpan 2 at three in the morning, Alex. Though you're onto something with this Rockettes thing.
Gary in Rockford, Illinois.
"Congratulations on your move, but don't turn your back on Mr. O."
Don't worry, Gary, I won't.
"Hi Neil, just watched you on your 8 p.m. Show. You are so "right-on"! You are soooo smart and wise. I just love to hear you..."
I wish I could figure out how to black out all the other channels so everyone would only listen to you. Then we all would be smarter."
Alas, teena, there are some who don't get Fox Business though. So only some can get smarter.