Updated

I can't believe they're talking about Greece going belly-up again.

Can't form a government.

Can't do much of anything.

Didn't we just go through this?!

It just amazes me that a country that has so much on its soil is getting so soiled by this financial mess.

So this goes to all my Greek friends, and I have quite a few, by the way:

Guys, it's time to kick some Athens!

Because this is "your big fat Greek wedding" chance!!

Austerity obviously ain't cutting it...so I say, cut to commercial.

And commercialize what you've got.

And you've got a lot.

The Parthenon.

The Acropolis.

Olympia, site of the ancient Olympics.

Crete.

Santorini.

The temple of Zeus.

The temple of Poseidon.

The temple of Delphi.

I mean, you've got temples like they're going out of style.

Which, in your case, they have...at least a few thousand years ago.

But they look pretty good to me.

No wonder, even now, tourists flock to you.

Because all this talk you can't pay your bills? All Greek to me.

Here's why.

You're sitting on a gold mine...I say...start sponsoring it!

You heard me...slap company logos on it...

Each and every antiquity part of it.

And don't get all haughty on me...

--trust me, if the Mets can swallow Citi Field.

--and both the New York Giants "and" Jets can share Metlife stadium.

--and no less than our bank-bashing president can make his big re-nomination speech this summer Bank of America Stadium...

--you, my drachma drama queens...

Can live with "pep boys' Parthenon!"

Or "Olympic Paint" Olympia.

Or "Crate and Barrel" at Crete.

Or "micky-dees at Mykonos."

And you, the folks who invented Greek diners...could hardly take umbrage to a bunch of 'em taking turns sponsoring the "acropolis." it's a natural!

I've even got an ad campaign for that one:

"Eat up the history...but first, just eat."

Come on, you're telling me Pepsi would pass on promoting the Parthenon?

Or Zappos "anything" Zeus?!

Get with it, and slap a billboard on it.

Trust me on this.

You "can't" do any worse.

Like I said, look at the Mets.

And if you truly believe you're facing a financial apocalypse...

At least have a company underwrite the cost...

At the "Monsanto Monastery of the apocalypse."

So get with it!! You've got the gods! You've got the goods.

Your nation is your temple. Good god....you don't have to be Stephen Hawking...to realize...start hawking!

Or I’m telling 'ya...your whole country's the pits....

Olive pits...but you get the idea.

So quit whining and start hawking the wine!

And by the way, the "Delphi" automotive folks are on line one.

Guess what they want to sponsor?!