This is a rush transcript from "The Five," May 4, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: By now you've heard of President Obama's infamous Internet campaign, the life of Julia. Julia is a fictional woman taking care of by Obama's policies from birth to burial. Yet through her life, she relies on Obama for college loans, health care, getting a job, having a kid, Medicare and so on.
Julia begins at age three with Head Start, which I find odd. I mean, how dare they deny her mom the right to abort her.
And yes, the slides also show that with Romney, none of these goodies would actually exist. So, what's missing in this utopia? A husband, for Julia is married to the government. Actually to Obama, by proxy. He's with her every step of the way. Maybe this is the composite girlfriend we have been hearing about.
But substitute anything else for the government and in this ad, you get a junkie -- booze, a hopeless drunk, pills, a listless drone. She's a government assistance junkie. And remember, anyone the government assists that much, they control, proving once again the bigger the government, the smaller the citizen, which means Julia is tinier than me and Dana combined.
Anyway, this reminds me of "Goofus and Gallant." You remember that Highlights cartoon comparing a good child to his foolish counterpart? Here's why I love Julia the most, never has the choice between dependents and individualism being shown more clearly. What's left out is who pays for this free ride. Gallant must pay for Goofus. Romney must salvage Obama, and an economy dies under a nation of Julia's.
Anyway, Julia's chart ends at 67. But a woman's life span here in the United States is 80. I guess her time was up.
Bob, what did you make of the whole campaign itself? When you keep adding each program on top of each other, it seems like there's no sparks of initiative on her part, other than to seek out a program.
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: You know, Julia is not a fictional character. It is a real person.
Look, to be perfectly honest, first of all, this is nothing they listed there that hasn't been with every president since LBJ. But, frankly, I'm not so sure I would have used that as sort of a campaign montage.
BECKEL: If they got to the Romney stuff, fine. But the fact is they focused on Julia stuff. I find it a little odd, frankly.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: I have -- let me jump in here if I may, Greg?
GUTFELD: No, you can't.
BOLLING: President Obama last week exposed -- and this week -- exposed himself as the ego maniac he is by taking the military pictures or photo ops. But today, the campaign exposes their agenda. This is pure and simple, a redistribution socialist agenda. It takes from a three-year-old up to a 67-year-old woman, relying on the government every step of the way.
I mean, really? Absolute, pure and simple, unadulterated communism and Marxism, stateism, Obamanomics.
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: I think that Eric has given this about 100 hours more thought than the campaign ever did.
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Right.
PERINO: Because, I think, you can just imagine, like, hey, it would be cool if we put together this PowerPoint, I mean, put it online. They could be like, oh, we can name her Julia and it would be great. And meanwhile, they should actually hire a couple of conservatives to sit there and go, well, you guys are crazy, you realize what you are about to do, and I thought showing someone who is helpless and incapable of success without the government is basically what they are trying -- I know that wasn't their intent, but that's how it's been ridiculed.
GUILFOYLE: And they are sexist? Why does it have to be a Julia versus a John?
GUTFELD: That's true. Why couldn't it have been transgendered?
GUILFOYLE: I think this works against them actually. I think it's quite fabulous, because it just shows what kind of America do you want to live in. Do you want to be one of the fair share types, or do you want to work hard and see what you can make of yourself and your family and the land of opportunity, the land of free market capitalism?
BECKEL: You know, when it comes to Obama, Eric hasn't spent 100 hours studying anything. But leaving that aside, what president doesn't get his picture taken with the troops, number one. Number two, about virtually every college student in America has gone and taken advantage of these programs.
BOLLING: They shouldn't.
BECKEL: Well, if you want -- if you want to say the programs shouldn't exist, you go ahead and say that.
BECKEL: But to say as if these are created by Obama, which they were not, they've been here all along. And secondly, most people take advantage, 75 percent of Americans are in one form or another on government welfare.
BOLLING: Yes. And that's the unfortunate part.
But, Greg, there are few screens that they left out. Slides that they left out. This week, Julia and 552,000 of her friends pulled themselves out of the labor force so the unemployment rate wasn't so bad --
GUTFELD: Yes. Where's the unemployment? That's true.
BOLLING: Also, Julia declares that she's 1/32 Cherokee and runs for Senate.
BOLLING: Honestly -- what they did, Dana, was they opened themselves up to a lot of jokes, a lot of rhetoric, and I can't believe Obama would be happy.
PERINO: Every single one of those programs -- Bob is exactly right -- been around for a long time. I think it was almost more alarming to look at it in its totally and think, what have we been doing as a country? There are safety nets that you might need along the way in your life.
Starting out, you might need some help, like the Head Start program that they talk about, which is -- there is dispute as to how effective it is.
BOLLING: Don't swear at it, Bob.
PERINO: And there might be a time when you need unemployment benefits. Medicare, if we do a little bit of adjusting, could be there in the long term so you could live to be 80 and have some help.
But I thought Dana Loesch had a really good point, where she said, does anyone notice that it's really creepy that President Obama is president for her whole life?
BECKEL: But, see, this is the point. The way you set this up and Eric made the point is, all these things have been around under Clinton, under Bush, under Bush, under Reagan. I mean, this is not anything new. Dana makes a good point.
GUTFELD: They are creating more of it.
BECKEL: Well, maybe one or two -- maybe one.
BOLLING: But is this the ideal woman?
BOLLING: Is this what a woman strives to be on every one of those programs?
BECKEL: The point is, if these are programs you don't want and Romney doesn't want, then let's put it out on the table and say, we don't want Medicare, we don't want Head Start.
BOLLING: Hold on. Is it the safety net or is it the example of the -- perfect example what a person in America needs to have? If it's not the example of what Americans --
BECKEL: Give me one of those programs you don't think is necessary?
BOLLING: Probably a lot of them are necessary. I could eliminate a few. But a lot of them are necessary. But why make it a campaign slogan that you don't worry, we're going to take care of you --
PERINO: And not for every woman, it should be in exceptional circumstances that you would ever need to have. We should not aspire to have more people take advantage of a Head Start program. That should be something that is for a very few amount of people that absolutely need it.
Plus, you need pro growth economic policies in order to make sure that, one, you are paying for this. Nowhere in this PowerPoint do they talk where they're going to pay for it.
GUTFELD: I just want to bring up something that Eric brought up about the 1/32nd Cherokee, Elizabeth Warren got into some heat because she's running against Scott Brown and she has touted her Native American heritage. It turns she is 1/32nd Cherokee, but the controversy is she has been listing herself in a law directory as a minority, Harvard Law School has been touting their diversity based on her.
Kimberly, isn't this -- this is kind of a big deal because diversity is what liberalism is all about and she's been using it to her advantage.
GUILFOYLE: Yes. It's a bad move on her part. And so -- I mean, she needs to rectify the situation, it is disrespectful to other minorities out that she's trying to say, oh, one of the arguments was she was wanted to get invited to a certain party, so she checked that and she wanted to make friends.
PERINO: They have five different explanations, I think that's almost the more alarming thing, that she's -- the campaign was so inept that on the fifth try, they came up with the final one that they are trying to stick with. I think that says more about her.
BECKEL: Eric is 50 percent Apache and he hasn't taken advantage of it all.
PERINO: Aren't we all 1/32 Cherokee, anyway? Probably like if you go all the way back?
BECKEL: I know I'm 1/32 convict from my family.
GUTFELD: If she had a Native American name, it would be "Dancing With Baloney," because she also accused -- she was accusing Scott Brown of being rich and she is far wealthier, and we have a SOT of her talking about why she kept lifting herself as a Native American --
BECKEL: Can you explain SOT please?
GUTFELD: Sound on tape.
BECKEL: OK, thank you.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ELIZABETH WARREN, D-MASS., SENATORIAL CANDIDATE: The directory I was listed in the directory because I listed it myself.
REPORTER: So why did you stop being listed?
WARREN: You know, it was a long time ago, but mostly, I was listed because I thought I might be invited to meetings where I might meet more people who I had grown up like I had grown up and it turned out that's -- there really wasn't any of that. So, that was that.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: She seems Native American to me. I don't know.
BOLLING: Is it wow or how?
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