This is a rush transcript from "The Five," April 20, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: So, George Clooney will host a $6 million fundraising dinner for Barack Obama at his L.A. home. And people can donate there are 3 bucks to win a spot at the table. I wonder if they're serving free range terrier.
Yes, it sounds like a presidential kissing booth. But what's weird, only $3? That's what Dana pays her intern Gorick (ph) for a day's work.
Poor Gorick, he came to America to chase a dream, and now, all he does is wax spelling bee trophies from 1989. I guess his quiet sobs are music to someone's ears.
But 3 bucks? I guess $4 would be too much to hear Obama say, wow, these organically grown fair trade green beans are delish. Hey, Biden, would you eat with your mouth closed please?
Here's the point of this "win a date with a 1 percent" event, a bunch of Hollywood zillionaires invite unwashed slob (ph) to Clooney's place -- and the Republicans are elitist? I guarantee you they'll be eating with silver spoons.
And celebs like Romney are so special -- Clooney, excuse me. Boy, that was a slip -- are so special they can't even live in America. It's so small a playing field and doesn't make them special enough to their countrymen. Patriotism is so red state.
But this fits perfectly with Barack's philosophy of American un-exceptionalism. So, now, some lucky winner can sit around the table with these wealthy internationalists and hear lines like -- wow, I would say this is exceptional chicken. But if it's American grown, I say it's no better than anyone else's chicken.
If that doesn't make you a Republican, you're hopeless.
Dana, would you have dinner with Clooney? I know you're enamored by the fellow.
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Really? You think I am? No, not really.
GUTFELD: I see you writing your journal.
PERINO: I like the one where he had to drive across the country in order to (INAUDIBLE). I saw that on a plane. Really good.
GUTFELD: That wasn't him.
PERINO: It wasn't?
GUTFELD: That was Robert Downey, Jr. "Due Date," that was a fantastic movie. Oh my goodness!
PERINO: Sorry. "Jeopardy!" is going to go really good tomorrow.
OK. Look, this smacks of desperation. We have desperation in the "A" block, we've got desperation in "C" block.
They were able to fundraise in Obama 2008. They even had cat lovers for Obama. Donate $5. Now, it's only $3 to have dinner with George Clooney? I mean, things are not going in the right direction.
ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: The dog lovers for Obama is not going to be garnering a lot of fundraising either.
GUTFELD: It depends on what kind of dog lover you are.
TANTAROS: True that.
PERINO: He's got to take (ph) foreign money.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: I signed up to Obama's bracket challenge during the March Madness. He beat me.
But ever since then I'm getting these e-mails, you know, come hang out with George Clooney. Michelle Obama is inviting me everywhere, 3 bucks.
I keep telling them, but do you realize I don't get along with you guys that well. Maybe I would. That would be --
GUTFELD: It would be great if you won, though.
PERINO: Well, I have fun actually.
GUTFELD: Let me ask Bob, who -- you know, the Republicans have a hard time finding anybody as glamorous as George Clooney. Who could they raffle off as a date? Have you ever thought about that for the Republicans?
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Newt Gingrich.
PERINO: A lot of people would like to be with him.
BECKEL: I think the Republicans -- they, let me see, who do they have as a celebrity supporter?
TANTAROS: Jon Voight.
BECKEL: Jon Voight -- there's one.
PERINO: Gary Sinise.
BECKEL: Now, Gary Sinise would be good. Jon Voight might not make it to dinner.
BOLLING: Katherine McPhee.
BECKEL: No, I don't think so Katherine McPhee -- what is the point here?
This desperation -- I mean, he has so much more money in the bank than Mitt Romney has, it's beyond belief. He's keeping the space of last year, I mean, of the 2008 campaign. He will raise somewhere about $800 million to $900 million. If he does do Clooney for $6 million, what's the big deal?
GUTFELD: I don't think it's a big deal. I just think it's a topic to talk about on a Friday. Gee whiz, why are you being mean to me?
Andrea, would you go to the dinner if you won?
TANTAROS: I would go I guess if I won. But I don't think I would enter. I'm not a Clooney girl. I don't know, I mean, we make jokes about it but there's something about it. I think because he's a liberal.
BECKEL: Let's talk about Clooney.
GUTFELD: Rosemary Clooney.
TANTAROS: He's not my favorite. Yes, Rosemary Clooney, exactly.
PERINO: Now, if Robert Downey, Jr. --
TANTAROS: I did not tell you off the air I like George Clooney. No, I just don't -- I haven't really dated liberals. So, I don't know if I would actually --
PERINO: But why do we keep going back to the Clooney well? Isn't there -- I mean, they had all of Hollywood, why can't you choose someone else?
GUTFELD: Can I move on? This is a hilarious article. On Mediaite, a writer named Tommy Christopher (ph) noticed a sign that was behind Mitt Romney at a speech in Ohio. The sign said "Obama isn't working."
And according to Tommy Christopher, this slogan is evocative of a nasty racial stereotype about black men. So, here is my question. If you see that sign and immediately think it's about lazy black men, aren't you the racist? Isn't Romney Christopher the racist for pointing that out?
He presumes to know what's in your head because it's in his head.
TANTAROS: No, that's liberalism.
GUTFELD: Not all liberals are like this.
TANTAROS: It's not all but three's a lot --
BECKEL: Did somebody in their advance team could have thought to say, Obama's policies are not working?
GUTFELD: Obama is not working. It's great, because that's what you say. You go like, this ain't working.
TANTAROS: But, Greg, even Obama admitted that he was a little bit lazy. Remember?
BECKEL: I'm not a racist. That's the first thing I thought about as soon as I saw --
TANTAROS: But even the president said he was a little bit lazy before.
BOLLING: Can I just defend "Mediaite" a little bit here? They're usually -- they are very good. If you say something wrong, they call you out on it. Not partisan by any means -- with the exception of Tommy Christopher who makes his business to be far left liberal as he can.
And if you remember, Tommy Christopher, Greg, is the guy who went at it with Andrew Breitbart quite often, giving him a hard time all the time.
PERINO: If you are looking to be insulted, you will find it everywhere.
GUTFELD: That's true. Especially when you're around Dana Perino.
PERINO: I was going to say thanks.
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