This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," January 18, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
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O'REILLY: Thanks for staying with us. I'm Bill O'Reilly.
In the "Miller Time" segment tonight, President Obama is set to travel to Orlando, Florida, tomorrow. Going to Disney World to promote tourism. He wants to make it easier for overseas visitors to come to the USA.
Here now with some thoughts on the president's journey, the Sage of Southern California, Dennis Miller, joining us from Los Angeles. You say?
DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Billy, heck of a show. Tell Juan Williams he was great. My compliments. Always great.
Tell Tonya I picked up a little bilateral pucker. It's going around out here. I don't know. Shake it off. Let's roll.
O'REILLY: OK. Magic Kingdom, Barack Obama, and you say?
MILLER: I guess he wants to draw people to the United States. Aren't they going to be surprised when they find out it's harder to get into Disney than it is to get into the actual country.
Listen, you couldn't even get Disneyland out of the blocks today, OK? He's going to be speaking in front of that castle. They come in and hang that up in permitting with code violations. Too much draft in there. Mr. Toad, endangered species, forget it. Matterhorn. can't cut down the tree to get the log thing, because Daryl Hannah is sitting in it. Nemo's sub might bump up against the Delta smelt. Forget that. F-1 Race, the tires are a little uninflated. Forget it. Haunted Mansion, shut it down. Get those people back to Chicago to vote. Canyon roller coaster, can't have it. Coal burning. Space Mountain, defunded along with NASA. And by the way, Pluto no longer a planet or a dog. Forget the Tea Party ride.
Walt Disney himself, imperious 1 percenter trying to make out at the expense of your kid. Trust me: the only Mickey Mouse operation Obama wants to see up and running is the federal government.
O'REILLY: Isn't that the tea cup ride?
MILLER: I had to stretch it a little for humor purposes there. But I was rolling there.
O'REILLY: You were. I thought that -- yes.
MILLER: By the way, somewhere in the middle of that joke, that whole bilateral pucker loosened up on me. I'm feeling good.
O'REILLY: All right. Now we just have to say that there is a serious reason why the president going down there. It's kind of tough now for people, particularly from certain countries, to come to the USA to get visas and all of that. He wants to drop that down so they come and spend more money, which is a good thing, in my opinion.
All right. Now Miller is an expert on vacations, having taken one every, you know, once every three or four weeks. And cruise ship. You know, there's nice people, 4,000. Floating along. Off the coast of Tuscany, it's "The Poseidon Adventure." And you say?
MILLER: Well, listen, it's a bad sign when the captain beats the drug mules off the ship at that point. And I mean, for God's sake this guy ought to croak himself. This is where the Japanese have it down with the shame concept. This guy is probably going to skate. He'll get manslaughter. He ought to note, much like Tom Hagen going in to visit that guy in prison. Open up a wrist in a bathtub, pal, and do the right thing, because you're joy riding.
I saw a story on an old couple from Minnesota that saved up for this thing. They're trapped under there? They're dead, because this guy's joy riding?
For God's sakes, this is a monstrous story. Thank God it took place in Italy. At least Dante's inferno. The symbolic retribution. I don't know where this guy ends up and what can...
O'REILLY: I think he's going to get convicted of manslaughter. I think he's going to get convicted of manslaughter in Italy. I don't know how much time you get for that over there, probably two and a half months. But I think that he's -- he's going.
MILLER: Well, you know what they do to Newt Pesch (Ph) in ship shank. And let's hope it happens to them.
I'll tell you what. Cruise travel is starting to look shaky to me. At this point, if I want to explore foreign waters, I would suggest everybody just swim there, OK, because the boats are getting a little shaky at this point.
O'REILLY: OK. And finally Miller's a football expert, as you well know. And you've got two big games this coming weekend. You've got the New York Giants and San Francisco and the Baltimore Ravens at New England. And who are you picking?
MILLER: Well, listen, I love all these teams, but I grew up in Pittsburgh, so physical always sells with me. I'd like to see... you know, listen, I love Brady, too, but I think Baltimore more physical in that one.
O'REILLY: Are you picking -- you're picking Baltimore over New England?
MILLER: Just because I don't know Ray Lewis and that breed of warriors.
O'REILLY: I'm going to take some of that action there, Miller. Are you ready to go for that on a dinner?
MILLER: Sure, I'll bet a dinner.
O'REILLY: All right. Excellent.
MILLER: If you ever get a free night from taking all your Dick Morris dinners. Yes, I'll buy you something.
O'REILLY: Dick Morris never pays. I'll make you pay. And then the Giants going to San Francisco. Nancy Pelosi, I understand, is going to be one of the cheerleaders for the Niners? Did you hear that?
O'REILLY: That will spur the team on.
MILLER: Oh my God, San Francisco versus the Gents. I've got to go with San Francisco. That puts it hardball vs. hardball in the Super Bowl. We haven't seen a brother act like that since Cain vs. Able, except Eve was wearing more clothes than the cheerleaders do.
O'REILLY: All right. Now, everybody understands that I've got the Pats and he's got the Ravens on Sunday.
All right, Miller, thank you very much.
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