Dennis Miller on Newt Going Negative

Comedian sounds off on Gingrich going after Romney's private sector experience plus San Francisco nudists?


This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," December 14, 2011. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment tonight, our pal Dennis did not like Newt Gingrich going after Mitt Romney's private sector experience.


NEWT GINGRICH: If Governor Romney would like to give back all the money he's earned from bankrupting companies and laying off employees, over his years at Bain, then I would be glad to listen to him. And I'll bet you $10, not 10,000, that he won't take the offer.


O'REILLY: The sage of Southern California joins us now from Los Angeles.

That, of course, in reply to Romney saying he should give back the money. I think it was 1.2 million that he got from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, consulting for them. And you say?

DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: I say these GOP guys got to start childproofing their campaigns. Because I tell you, they find the one sharp corner in the room, and they smack their head on it. We had Perry with the "heartless" comment.

What could Gingrich have said this week to dampen this campfire that he's got going except to go over and talk about capitalism like it was a serial killer or something? For God's sakes, Perry did it. I think Newt Gingrich has done it here.

Last week we were talking, Bill. I said, well, if the guy has had an epiphany, the love of a good woman, you know, he's re-found his Catholicism, he has kids, and he's seeing the light? So be it. In the space of one week, he reminds me that he's still Newt Gingrich.

And you know something? The smart money, Victor Davis Hanson, George Will, Brit Hume, Mark Steyn, Charles Krauthammer, all those smart guys who have reservations about Newt, I get it this week. I have reservations, too, now. He shouldn't have said that. It was stupid, stupid, stupid.

O'REILLY: Well, when -- how should he have defended himself against the Romney...?

MILLER: He shouldn't have.

O'REILLY: No? He just should have ignored it?

MILLER: It was like Gandhi laying down at the horse hooves, man. That's what made Gandhi impressive.

He should have said, "I told you that I've changed. He can say whatever he wants. I'm saving my rancor for Barack Obama. He can say whatever he wants. I wish him well. He's a good man, Mitt Romney. I don't have time for this sort of stuff."

Now, listen, if he had done that, here's what I'd like to see. Maybe Romney is the candidate. But we do a Cyrano de Bergerac thing where Gingrich gets in his ear with an earpiece and, during the debates, he tells him how to shred Barack Obama.

O'REILLY: Yes. Right. All right. Miller and I were not invited to the global warming conference in Durban, South Africa. We were at -- otherwise occupied in Orange County, where we had a great time last weekend. But the conference did not turn out well, Miller.


O'REILLY: Even Canada now has pretty much had enough, and they're pulling out of the Kyoto treaty after the South African exposition.

MILLER: Yes. I'm trying to think of a place I would have -- I would less rather be than Durban, South Africa.

O'REILLY: It's actually a pretty town. It's right on the Indian Ocean.

MILLER: With sharks (ph).

O'REILLY: It's a nice place.

MILLER: Well, listen, Deanna Durbin was a lovely woman, too, but I don't want to be there with these idiots, because to me it reminds me of the Occupy movement, but they wear hemp instead of smoking hemp.

And you know something? When they say that the science is settled on global warming, I just want to say, "Hey, time out. What happened to Pluto as a planet? Anybody remember when that was etched in stone. Now all of a sudden, somebody tells me Pluto is not a planet.

It is not etched in stone. And until these guys start holding these climate-change things over the teleconference where I know they're serious, that they don't want to travel, let's face facts. This is a nerd fest. These guys go here to meet women. They should do it on teleconference.

O'REILLY: Go to meet woman. Hot women, right?

MILLER: Hot women. Exactly, Billy. Global warming women.

O'REILLY: They go there to meet women. Do you have documentation on that, Miller?

MILLER: As much as they do with that hockey stick thing.

O'REILLY: It could be true because, you know, India and China, it's tough to socialize, you know, with a lot of...

MILLER: You go to a resort during the day, Bill, it's bad. Then you get loaded and cruise chicks.

O'REILLY: All right. San Francisco another "c'est la vie" place, celebrating Christmas in a way that is unlike any other place on earth. Trying to get as many naked Santas as possible to get into the Guinness Book of Records, who does not even have naked Santa category. And you say, Miller?

MILLER: What the hell happened to San Francisco? When did it turn into the Island of Misfit Liberals? And who in the Guinness book draws the short straw and has to go out and be with these morons seeing how many nude Santas? That's the new kid at Guinness, by the way, who gets sent out.

I understand now they can go into restaurants. That's exactly what I want, is to go into a buffet line and go up to the Swedish meatball station and have a naked fat guy with a hairy back in front of me who's gone commando.

The only thing about this I do like is it lends credence to the old seasonal axiom, Bill, that small things come in small packages.

O'REILLY: Now, it's not against the law to be naked in San Francisco. You can be, any time you want, on any occasion, to do anything. Now, with the Santas, it's a little problematic, because as I said yesterday, I don't know how they're going to slide down that chimney in that state.

MILLER: You can use your head for only one thing in San Francisco any more. And that's to put it up your own tookus. Let's face facts. The city is gone. It's a pretty bridge, but at this point it's a bridge to nowhere.

O'REILLY: Now what about the kids of San Francisco? Remember the Michael Douglas film called "The Streets of San Francisco"? What are the kids thinking here?

MILLER: Well, the kids are thinking they don't want Santa to come any more, because they're afraid of him because he's big and bulbous.

O'REILLY: Bulbous?

MILLER: Yes, bulbous.

O'REILLY: I got it, Miller. Yes, that might -- "You know, Mom, maybe we don't have Santa come this year in that present state."

MILLER (singing): Up on the roof top there's a naked fat guy. Oh, my God, I don't want presents.

O'REILLY: Very catchy tune, Miller. Thanks, as always.

And a couple of footnotes. Miller continues to support the USA Cares charity, which helps veterans. The Web site,, if you'd like to help them out.

Also, the Miller-O'Reilly Bolder Fresher show in Santa Barbara February 25 nearly sold out already. So if you want to see us, go to and get your tickets quick.

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