This is a rush transcript from "The Five," November 30, 2011. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: San Francisco, the city where not only the dogs walk on leashes, has managed to ban McDonald's Happy Meals. The ban says in order to include a toy with a meal, restaurants must comply with the city's ridiculous nutritional standards. So, this Thursday, in the turgid town where deviants happily dine nude in local restaurants, the ban goes in effect.
That's a positive, by the way.
But it may prove gloriously disastrous for the foodie fascist. See, before the ban, you could buy the toy without getting the meal. But now to get the toy, you got to donate 10 cents to charity. But to donate the charity, you got to buy the Happy Meal, meaning, more Happy Meals will fall into the grabby hands of chubby kids.
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Aah!
GUTFELD: Happy chubby kids.
Is Ronald McDonald a sexy genius or what? I say yes.
And so, this is what happens when nanny state food fascists try to legislate their own bitterness towards capitalism. The consumers pay more, businesses get sneakier, and hilarious consequences ensue.
And so, I salute McDonald's in pulling one over the saps by the sea, proving once again that one should never out-clown a clown.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Very witty.
GUTFELD: Thank you.
Eric, aren't you excited? This is a victory not just for McDonald's but America.
BOLLING: I think it's great. McDonald's, here's what happened -- San Francisco says you can't give away the Happy Meal, because it's enticing children to want a happy meal. Fine, 10 cents then the money goes to charity. This is fantastic.
Anytime government gets involved, prices go up, inefficiency goes up. And you get less choice.
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Is there a mom or dad in America who would not pay a dime in order to get the Happy Meal toy to get the kid happy?
GUTFELD: Exactly. And it goes to Ronald McDonald charity, which is, you know, everybody wins except for San Francisco.
GUILFOYLE: This is typical of the San Francisco board of supervisors. (INAUDIBLE) person on there. And one of my supervisors for where I have my place in San Francisco --
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: You were married to the mayor of San Francisco, weren't you?
GUTFELD: That was an unhappy meal.
GUILFOYLE: Can I give the toy back?
BECKEL: Whoa! Slam dunk.
Anyway, this is like the least obnoxious thing the board of supervisors has done. They pride themselves on being activists. They like to overrun the mayor's office. They do things like in the pass. Long time ago, they did, oh, we want legislate about Burma. I'm like, really?
GUTFELD: Well, this is the same city that, you know, they were allowing people to walk around naked into restaurants.
BECKEL: What is wrong with that?
GUTFELD: They're not attractive women.
GUTFELD: They were men who look like you.
BECKEL: Listen -- OK, sorry, sorry big Greg. Oh, five, one of you.
Listen, can you imagine what McDonald's would have been like with a bunch of 5-year-olds denied their toys? Can you imagine how loud that would have been?
Look, I think I can speak on the fat caucus on this. And I think the idea -- first of all, when you went through your government rip, OK, as you normally do --
BECKEL: -- your eyes were clued directly at me. I want to make that point
GUTFELD: Yes, that's true.
BOLLING: The only one at the table in favor of bigger government more --
BECKEL: I'm in favor for bigger government, you're right. But, listen, there is something to be careful about here. And there is some advantage to the nutritional facts.
Do you have a problem with having the calorie content?
BOLLING: It's not filled with nutritional value of a Happy Meal? It was the toy on the Happy Meal.
BECKEL: No, no, no. I am asking you a question.
BOLLING: Yes. What Robert?
BECKEL: They have the number of calories in supermarkets on everything now. Do you have a problem with that?
BECKEL: OK, fine. I rest my case. We face the jury now.
GUTFELD: Yes, I want to move on -- New York Times reported on a Duke study that found that overweight employees are 13 times -- I'm not looking to you, Bob -- are 13 times more likely to be absent due to work-related injuries. And so, The Times, in the P.C. way -- don't get up, Bob --
GUILFOYLE: Where are you going?
GUTFELD: The Times asked, shouldn't it be illegal for businesses to discriminate against applicants who are obese. What do you say to that?
PERINO: No, I don't think it should be illegal. And I think that in some, there is a little bit of personal responsibility to be taken here.
And people don't -- obesity is a serious thing. But I'm not for the government to tell me who I can and can't hire.
PERINO: And who's to say, maybe I decided to hire somebody because I didn't think they were good enough. And whether they're going to sue me because they thought I thought they were five pounds overweight?
GUTFELD: Yes. Well, here's the dirty secret, Eric. The people that are usually not at work are the skinny, good looking people because they're out all night getting drunk.
BOLLING: Bob, look, free market is 100 percent right. Let the free market decide who you want to hire with your fat, skinny, white, black, brown, unemployed or not employed already. And that's the one thing that we -- if we're going to be consistent in discriminating against employee, or you should be able discriminate --
BECKEL: You should be able to discriminate?
GUILFOYLE: Who is going to work? Who is going to work? Yes, 86 percent of the people working are above the average. Who wants to work?
No one, having fun.
BECKEL: Look, I think there should be a law against it personally, and for personal reasons. But beyond that, listen, the government, you keep jumping on the government on everything. But there is discrimination in the workforce by employers. We do it on if you're black.
But the other thing -- let me say this in 30 seconds when I got off.
BECKEL: The thing is not working again. OK.
Now, have you noticed when you get your catalogs from Christmastime, right, every person who's in those things are skinny. It's skinny and they look good. They got the hair --
BOLLING: You know who is not skinny? Field and stream catalog where the guns -- 40 pages of guns.
BECKEL: They carry 40 pounds of ammo, that's why.
GUTFELD: All right.
BECKEL: Are we supposed to get out of here?
GUTFELD: I want to say this, overweight people work harder. They don't waste their time exercising or socializing.
BECKEL: This is a perfect example right here.
GUILFOYLE: Remember, you're obsessed. You tell us already that you have a full-on love affair with chubbies.
GUTFELD: By the way, the people discriminated most are homely people --
GUILFOYLE: He does!
GUTFELD: -- like me.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, right.
BECKEL: Oh, you're not homely, you're just short.
Content and Programming Copyright 2011 Fox News Network, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Copyright 2011 CQ-Roll Call, Inc. All materials herein are protected by United States copyright law and may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, displayed, published or broadcast without the prior written permission of CQ-Roll Call. You may not alter or remove any trademark, copyright or other notice from copies of the content.