This is a rush transcript from "The Five," October 25, 2011. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: So, does Sprite make you fight? A new study claims teen, i.e., those weird creatures who hate you, who drinks lots of soft drinks get in more brawls than kids who drink less. Of course, the researchers added that they don't know if the pop causes you to pop, only that it ads to the growing body of research on blah, blah, blah. This is dumber than a solar panel on a submarine.
The fact is, if these were actual cause and effect, we would have seen explosion of violence in the last century as soda became more popular, but we didn't. Violence dropped significantly -- so much so I can't even get people to beat me up and I pay top dollar.
In fact, because of this drop, you could argue that soda actually reduces violence and even more, taxing it could make the crime go up because people will drink less.
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Exactly.
GUTFELD: But this isn't about soda. It's about junk science fed to media to spawn nanny state policies. This time, taxing soda like smokes while also getting researchers more grants for their stupid, stupid research.
One researcher said of this soda violence link, "We were surprised how large the effect was."
Yes, you were surprised. Baloney.
Anyway, common sense tells you that kids that drink tons of soda probably do other stuff in excess like fighting. That's it. Anyway, it's what my doctor always said -- all things in moderation. Please stop touching that.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: All right. You are on fire.
GUTFELD: You have offspring, Mr. Bolling. Do you just pump them full of soda and say, go out and beat the crap out of people?
BOLLING: No. But I will tell you, this morning, that story came up. And we got in the car, driving to school. And he says, dad, that soda story, right? I go, yes. He goes, what's the difference? Sugar in soda and I eat cereal. And he knows there's a lot of sugar in cereal.
I'm like, you know, they never really did the cereal connection, but you're 100 percent right, Greg. So what? I mean, someone was paid to do the research. Got a grant to make it look like there is something really important that came out of it.
GUTFELD: Do you believe in it, Andrea? Any of this?
ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: The only thing that would make this dumber is if we used stimulus money to fund it because there's no causal connection.
PERINO: Just wait. It will come out.
TANTAROS: But the food tyrants on the left, the same ones that argue for decriminalizing marijuana, saying drugs are OK, what's the big deal?
Get wound up about a little soda, which I don't think is a big deal and a bag of potato chips.
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Yes, you drink sodas and I'm on TV with you, you beat the hell out of me all the time. So, I think your -- and by the way, do you ever wonder who the researchers? Everything is there's researcher. There's always a research doing something.
GUTFELD: I do private research on my own in my basement but that's none of your business.
BECKEL: It is to my business because I'm (INAUDIBLE).
PERINO: Is there a difference between pop and soda, because I grew up saying pop but I've been living on the East Coast for so long, I now say soda, and I feel like I betrayed --
PERINO: Like we could get stimulus money to talk about pop versus soda.
GUTFELD: But this is all about taxing, right? It's just going to end up taxing, just like cigarettes.
PERINO: Tax it, they'll drink less. But then as you said, then the crime rate could go up.
BOLLING: It's all about is justifying your grant like the climatologists who are trying to figure out a way to make it look like this --
BECKEL: Or Solyndra! The fact of the matter is soda has caffeine and caffeine does get you a little bit agitated. But I'm not so sure -- I suppose, what is that stuff that they have now that you can buy, those four rounds --
PERINO: Five-hour energy.
GUTFELD: You're not touching that, Bob. We have enough problems with you.
BECKEL: I started a fire in the break. Everybody yelled at me.
GUTFELD: Yes, you almost did.
BECKEL: I'm just trying to run (ph) my thing open.
GUTFELD: You almost set off the fire alarm in the break and we'd have to leave.
BECKEL: She wants to move on, she just said.
GUTFELD: Thank you, Bob.
All right, again, YouTube video of the teens fighting. In this case, parents arrange the fight. Nita Longoria
GUTFELD: Well, check out the tape. There it is. These kids are fighting, the moms, Veronica Certochi and Nita Longorin (ph) arranged it because they heard they were unhappy. And the best part about this, of this awful story, is, of course, they posted it on the Web.
PERINO: And then they got arrested.
GUTFELD: They go arrested, which is great. This is the best thing about YouTube, isn't it?
GUTFELD: Because really dumb people put it on the Web and then they got arrested.
TANTAROS: It's so disgusting that the mothers and the parents supported something like this, I mean, getting the girls to fight and post it on YouTube, not thinking these girls are eventually going to get jobs hopefully. These girls are going to grow up --
GUTFELD: Probably not.
TANTAROS: Well, yes, probably not. They'll follow in their mother's footsteps. But, yes, I think the --
BECKEL: I'm about to get in big trouble but I'm going to do it anyway, OK? Don't get excited upstairs. If you talk about rednecks, that's redneck. I mean, I'm telling you, that's the kind of thing when I talk -- don't yell at me. I'm trying to explain the concept of it. That is redneck --
GUTFELD: Bad behavior.
BOLLING: What are you talking about that's red? Who's --
GUTFELD: Don't ask him to explain.
BOLLING: Don't you mean -- yes, let's move on.
BECKEL: No, I was going to explain.
PERINO: So, yesterday we talked about the NFL player that got fined $10,000 for calling his wife from the sidelines, right? So they were consequences for his actions.
I'm very comfortable with these parents being arrested because there should be consequences for this type of action.
BECKEL: There should be.
PERINO: And if it's on YouTube and the story is out there that they got arrested, maybe less people will do it.
BECKEL: In my neighborhood where I grew up, everybody would get a paycheck on Friday, they get drunk on Saturday, they get in a fight with their wives on Saturday night. On Sunday, they were arrested for domestic violence. That's what I mean about redneck. I was a redneck.
BOLLING: You're going back there.
BECKEL: I'm going back there because I'm not going to put up, I'm not going to apologize. I can tell you right now.
GUTFELD: You were upset by this behavior.
BECKEL: I am upset.
TANTAROS: Unless those two women were fighting over Bob. Then he'd be OK with it.
BECKEL: Yes, there's a thought. Oh, sorry.
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