This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," September 21, 2011. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment tonight: Our pal Dennis got a chance to meet Mitt Romney over the weekend. He's also a bit concerned about the growing class warfare deal. The sage of Southern California joins us now from Los Angeles. Let's take the class warrior business first. Again, you know, today President Obama, "I'm a proud warrior for the middle class, and I'm going." And you say?
DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Ironically, class warfare not really classy. Billy, I'm with you. I like it when you press people and just say name a figure. They never want to leave fingerprints on it.
But the fact is I go 35 federal, 11 California. I got a score of other taxes, including big tickets, like property tax, Social Security, which I, as a rich pig, am never going to see, and then a myriad of other taxes during my day. Sales, everything.
I probably make around, I don't know, 40 cents on every buck. When I croak they wade in and take 55 percent of that before I do my death rattle. That means over the course of my life, I get to either spend or pass onto my kids 20 cents on a buck. I feel like I'm doing my part. They're not even nice about it. They always act like we're jerks or something. For God's sakes, we tried. We did all right. What's the problem?
O'REILLY: And then they spend it on $16 muffins. That's what gets me. Look, if they were curing cancer, Miller, if they were spreading democracy throughout the whole world and everybody was getting on board with the USA, I would say all right. But, you know what they're doing. They're just Solyndra. Solyndra.
MILLER: Let me say this, Billy. At least they're so full of it that at least the $16 buck muffin will clean them out.
O'REILLY: If it were a bran muffin it might, but not the other kind of muffin. All right. Now, I want everybody to know I made the muffin as a metaphor for the larger picture, which I'm sure Miller understood is not really about the muffin itself. It's the cause the muffin represents.
MILLER: It's the whole enchilada. Forget just the muffin. It's the whole enchilada.
O'REILLY: Which was $22, by the way. An enchilada? You want an enchilada? $22 bucks, OK.
Now, you met Mitt Romney. I mean, I can't imagine Governor Romney actually consenting to meet you. I mean, how did that happen?
MILLER: Well, I met him at an informal speech at friend's place over the weekend. And here's the thing they say about him. For everybody who's hung up on his physical attractiveness, and they begrudge him that. Can I tell you? He's 4'9."
O'REILLY: He is not.
MILLER: I was absolutely shocked. Billy, I said to him, "Are you a small guy or a huge dwarf?"
He said, "I'm anything you want me to be."
I said, "Like most politicians."
No, listen. He was a good guy. He was with his wife, who's still his best girl, you can tell. He seems like a nice guy. He seems like a smart guy. He's whip-smart. Do I dig everything about him? No. But here's the thing on Obamacare in the state of Massachusetts, Billy. All right. He did it in his state as governor. And now he deems it to be not for the national scene to extrapolate out. And he says he would overturn Obamacare. Are we then going to punish him by vote -- not voting for him and putting the guy who is going to spread it into permanence across the country? To punish Mitt for putting it in on a statewide level, we're going to put Obamacare in on a national level with Obama? Even a Kamikaze pilot would tell you that was self-defeating.
O'REILLY: It's not about -- not about Romney and Obama. It's about Romney vs. Perry vs. Bachmann, and you know, the Republican brouhaha. Did -- did Romney know who you are? Does he know who you are, the sage of Southern California? Does he know?
MILLER: Sure he did. He said, "You take the bullet for O'Reilly, right?"
O'REILLY: Did he? OK. So the governor is, you know -- OK.
MILLER: No. Listen.
O'REILLY: Some of these guys, they've got no idea who we are.
MILLER: Look, no, he does, Billy. I told him, you know -- I told him that we were going to do some gigs together. Maybe we can get him to come.
Here's the thing about him. He's a -- the people say he's a flip-flopper. Guess what? Obama is a flop-flopper. He did choose the wrong thing, and it's not working, and he's never going to change. All I ask of somebody is, if they gack it, they flip and try the other thing. Obama is not going to try the other thing.
O'REILLY: No, that's a good point.
All right. Jesse Watters and Maxine Waters, you saw it. Together again. It's like Peaches and Herb, reunited and it feels so good. Jesse didn't get a lot out of her, and you say?
MILLER: Still Watters runs deep; shrill Waters just runs away. Although she's cuter than I thought she is. She looks cute. She's a little freaked out by Jesse. He should have started singing that Rick Springfield song to her.
(SINGING) "I wish Maxine was Jesse's girl. Da-da-da, da-da-da."
Listen. I thought by her saying silent, Jesse made her look better than any interview I've ever seen her do. That's the first time I looked at her and thought, "Wow, she's coming off pretty good."
O'REILLY: She looks credible. I didn't say anything. But is it really wise? Shouldn't she have just sat around and said, "Listen, you know, here's what I meant. Ba-ba-ba-ba"? Wouldn't that have been better than just doing the zombie routine?
MILLER: Billy, can I tell you something? She meant she wants guys like you and me to go to hell.
O'REILLY: Oh, she meant it?
MILLER: That's exactly what she meant.
O'REILLY: It wasn't like the muffin metaphor. She really wants us to go to hell.
MILLER: Then she sends a moron like -- you know, then they've got to send out the apologist out to mop up this class warfare, to mop up the Tea Party. They send that moron Debbie Sergeant Schultz out. And you know, she's supposed to explain it all.
O'REILLY: Right. OK.
Now Miller and I -- and this is a New England alert for everyone -- will be trick-or-treating together on October 29 in Connecticut at Mohegan Sun. I don't know if costumes are needed, Miller. I think you and I can just...
MILLER: I've got mine.
O'REILLY: ... pretty much go au naturale. I mean, with -- not au naturale literally but just as ourselves and scare the hell out of everybody.
MILLER: I got what I'm going out as already, Billy. Get this. I'm going out as a monster called Barney Frankenstein. What it is, it's a creature that's put together with the parts out of all his micro-constituency groups, and he croaks his victims through drowning them with projectile spittle. That's what I'm going out as, Barney Frankenstein.
O'REILLY: Barney Frankenstein. Well, it fits into New England. His district is very close to Mohegan Sun. Kind of like over there. And we're sending the -- Congressman Frank comps, complimentary tickets.
MILLER: And by the way, if you come to that show au naturale, I will gouge my eyes out with hot pokers.
O'REILLY: That's not -- a little too chilly that time of year up there. All right. And Miller and I, if you'd like to see us in person, check the dates on BillOReilly.com for Richmond, Virginia, Atlantic City, and the aforementioned Mohegan Sun in Connecticut.
By the way, we're doing "The Factor" at Faneuil Hall in Boston on October 11. Sold out in 24 hours.
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