This is a rush transcript from "The Five," September 14, 2011. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Stop laughing, Bob. I haven't started.
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: He's happy.
GUTFELD: That's good. Welcome back to "The Five." You heard the phrase if you see something, say something. Once related to terrorist, now the crux of a new Obama campaign website called attackwatch.com. The gist is if someone bashes Obama, report it. It's like an earlier site from 2008 called "fight the smears" which I always thought was about Windex.
Anyway, like the combination of crowd sourcing and snitching, it creates a cult of hall monitors bent on protecting O from all the haters. I guess the campaign needs a nation of spin doctors to stem the tide. Take Jennifer, a college student, who joined because it was so hard responding to the critics. I can't blame her. In a way it's defaulting a Volt.
But it's dumb to think attacks were uninitiated. Let's not forget the heinous crap from Obama's biggest fans. You remember, that Tea Partiers are racist, that Republicans shove old people off cliffs, or all the crummy stuff about Palin's kid. Anyway, the website could be helpful explaining what is in Obama's bills because faced with a new car salesman that adds a shiny coat to every lemon, we all kind of assume the worst is under the hood.
Finally, in good faith I'd like to turn myself in to attack watch. Yesterday I smirked at a dude in an Obama t-shirt and I even rolled my eyes, and now I feel awful. And I anxiously await my spanking. I get a spanking, right, Kimberly?
GUTFELD: Kimberly, shouldn't it be called Snitches for Obama?
GUILFOYLE: How immature is this? It's so infantile and thin skinned, so it's perfectly in keeping in that situation.
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: But it's also duplicative because back in May they announced a new rapid response person at the White House -- you don't know what "duplicative" means?
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: No.
PERINO: We'll talk about that after the show. They announced a guy, I don't remember his name, he has 4,000 twitter followers, who was going to be the rapid response guy do all the stuff on taxpayers dollars working out of the White House. So it's a little bit duplicative, though I think the graphics are better on this. It's been resoundingly ridiculed on twitter.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: "Duplicative" or "duplicitous"?
PERINO: "Duplicative," double.
BOLLING: They have a site like this called Media Matters.
GUTFELD: Nicely done. They have a network called MSNBC.
BECKEL: Let me just say there is a reason for this and that is probably no president has been subjected to slimy, horrible, disgraceful attacks on among other things, his healthcare reform bill, which people like Eric decide to misrepresent at every turn. I love you, brother. I love you. But you were dropped on your head as a kid and that was your problem. I feel badly for you.
The fact is Obama is asking to get it straightened out because had had they got in front of the attack on the health care bill we would haven't had negatives on the health care bill because it's a good bill and a lot of people will get health care as a result. We let you get away with it. And that was a mistake.
PERINO: I think you lost on merits.
BECKEL: Not at all.
GUILFOYLE: Bush was attacked way more than Obama could dream about. Obama was carried in with beautiful organ music like he was the savior.
GUTFELD: Let's not talk about the president but talk about the people who chose not to vote for Obama or didn't fall in line in 2008. What they were called to me was far worse than anything you'd say to a president.
BECKEL: What were they called?
BECKEL: I didn't call you a racist.
GUTFELD: I'm saying that was a common accusation for people --
BECKEL: That was not a common accusation. Nobody that I know called people who didn't vote for Obama racist. I was sober then. You have to be careful when you start to say -- when somebody says something and you put it and say it's reflective of a group of people.
GUTFELD: That's my point. That's what they were doing. You're say it's wrong for me to resent someone calling me racist?
BECKEL: It's not at all. But people who supported Obama, 99.99 percent of them never would call you a racist.
GUTFELD: I would say the number is slightly different, maybe dramatically different.
GUILFOYLE: New math.
BECKEL: Maybe in your neighborhood but not other places. We don't to do that. My friend Sean Hannity takes one comment by black congresswoman and say it's the response of the Democratic Party.
PERINO: Actually it was on the front page of The New York Times. Not just with her. We are getting off-track, because I want to stay on attack watch, because the White House, every Friday for a while at the White House I would leave and think next week has got to be better than this week. And it never was.
This week I guarantee by Friday night, tomorrow, they'll be at off the record at hey Adams bar saying, my gosh, we have to get our act together because they have had so many stumbles this week and attack watch was not rolled out in a good way.
BOLLING: Fight the smears?
GUILFOYLE: This is very odd.
BECKEL: The First Amendment does not give you the right to smear people and smear legislation and tell lies about it.
GUILFOYLE: It sounds like a pit bull website. I don't like it at all.
BECKEL: Say in your opinion in your opinion, you're a right winger. It doesn't represent but a small percentage of the country.
PERINO: I love how Eric takes it as a complement.
GUTFELD: I have to go to the tease.
BECKEL: They told you to do that, didn't they?
GUTFELD: Yes, they did.
BECKEL: They want us to stop arguing.
GUTFELD: No they didn't. They love your arguing. You better believe I'll report this to the Attack Watch website.
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