This is a rush transcript from "The Five," September 7, 2011. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Hey Greg, how is it going?
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Pretty good. According to this book I'm a tree elf.
(LAUGHTER)
Welcome back to "The Five." These truly are dark days for our president. It has come to pass that Adrian Grenier -- who cares -- the star of "Entourage" is disappointed. The mopey man poodle tweeted on Tuesday, quote, "Come on, Barack Obama, why did you cave?" He then added "Lead, don't concede." I'm sure Adrian was proud of that rhyme. After all, finding words that share the same terminal sound is hard -- when you're dumb.
Anyway, since Obama bailed on the federal ozone regulations the hairy hunk of ham was heart-broken.
So does this mean that Obama lost the moron vote? Even more, could it be the Hampton crowd, that East Coast bastion of the money bag political lunacy, isn't far behind? Washington Post writer Richard Cohen thinks so and writes that "Barack Obama has lost the Hamptons." But he probably wrote that so he could expense that Labor Day ambrosia salad. It was expensive.
But if you think Obama lost the coked up socialite vote, you are wrong, because as long as there is a celebrity desperate to coerce a starlet in the sack, there will be a need for earnest left-wing platitudes.
If you think Grenier is smart enough to come up with something beyond "Obama good, Republicans bad," you're sorely mistaken. The guy can't button his shirt without a map.
KIMBERLY GIULFOYLE, CO-HOST: So you like him a lot.
GUTFELD: I'll tell you why "Entourage" is ending. It's been going on for how many seasons.
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Too long.
GUTFELD: Too long. It's because it's out of step with America. You have recession and inflation -- all these problems -- and you've got a show about four guys driving around in a car.
GIULFOYLE: One named Turtle.
GUTFELD: One named Turtle.
PERINO: Kind of like the Hamptons.
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: Do you buy that he is losing the Hamptons?
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: When I heard you reading that and Richard Cohen, there goes the neighborhood. What is the country coming to if he lost the Hamptons? That goes to what we were saying said earlier, that they are starting to see cracks in the foundation of the liberal base.
I have to say, I am proud, I have never set foot in the Hamptons. I've never been there.
BOLLING: You know where he is doing well?
GUTFELD: Where?
BOLLING: The Vineyard.
(LAUGHTER)
GUTFELD: How come celebrities love environmental causes? Is it because they don't pay their own bills, so they don't see the consequences of their foolish beliefs?
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: First of all, who's this dude again?
GUTFELD: It's not important.
(CROSSTALK)
BECKEL: I hadn't heard of the show either, so what do I care one way or the other.
GUILFOYLE: You thought it was "Housewives of D.C."
BECKEL: "Housewives of D.C." is supposed to be pretty good, except did you hear the one about the woman on the next "Housewives of Beverly Hills" got divorced last week? Oh, sorry.
The answer to your question is, first of all can I say one thing about the Hamptons? That is .0005 percent of the vote in New York State. And if he loses that, that's tough, he's going to win New York in a walk, so don't worry about it.
I think that celebrities bring reasonable attention to the environmental causes that others won't do because -- particularly in the Republican House, who would not like to see a single cause get passed, would not like to see a single thing to protect the environment get done -- and so when the celebrities do it, the press comes and that's good.
PERINO: You're starting to sound like Charlie Brown's teacher. I mean, Republicans -- that's not true that they don't support any sort of environmental cause.
BECKEL: Well, name me one.
PERINO: Well, OK -- geothermal energy. And in fact, Senator Barrasso of Wyoming is putting out a plan tomorrow about creating jobs in the western part of America. And a lot of it has to do with good energy policy.
BECKEL: I actually like that guy. He was a surgeon, right?
PERINO: He was a surgeon. He's from Casper, Wyoming.
GIULFOYLE: There's something positive, Bob.
BECKEL: I try to stick to positive things. You know, I'm always accused of being ideologically left wing -- well, some of the things they say on the Twitter, the tweeters whatever they are, you know, if they would just leave off the physical stuff I'd be a lot better off. But I once in a while stray. I mean, I've never voted for Republican in my life, but --
GUTFELD: You definitely stray. You definitely stray.
Hey Kimberly, I have to ask you. When celebrities become obsessed with the environmental stuff, doesn't it look especially stupid in this current climate when people are looking for jobs and you have a rich millionaire tweeting about ozone regulations? It makes them took out of touch.
GUILFOYLE: Out of touch and self-indulgent. It's very immature. How do you take it seriously? It's par for the course. Hollywood elite does this.
BECKEL: But the Ozone happens to be necessary for life.
(CROSSTALK)
BOLLING: I'm so mad. I had Al Gore tweeted this afternoon that he was ticked off at Obama for caving on the EPA regulations. They're fighting over --
(CROSSTALK)
BECKEL: Me, too. It was a cave. He's trying to keep the union guys
--
PERINO: I think it was on merit but the timing was terrible because ozone has been reduced significantly. They look at it and the cost benefit analysis fab what you'd get from the new rules wasn't enough. They problem was they told the EPA on a Thursday they weren't going to do it. Then it looks political rather than merit.
BOLLING: Can I say to Eric and Greg, the two flat-earthers here, right now, they have a new thing. You have can't get to north pole over the ice. The last group that explored the North Pole took a boat. Why?
Would you put that down?
(CROSSTALK)
BECKEL: The point is the icecaps are melting. It's not funny.
GUILFOYLE: Grenier will help a lot. He probably didn't put it on there himself. It's bunch of hooey.
GUTFELD: I like that.
GIULFOYLE: We have to have the focus. People are starving and hungry in the country and need jobs.
BECKEL: That is as far as you go.
GUILFOYLE: We'll give you a definition of "hooey" in the break.
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