THE FIVE

Jane Fonda's Biggest Regret Doesn't Involve Vietnam

Surprise, surprise: It doesn't involve Vietnam

 

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," September 5, 2011. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: So The Daily Mail ran an excerpt from a biography on Jane Fonda and I read it so you didn't have to. The piece claimed that Jane allegedly said her biggest regret was not sleeping with commie thug Che Guevara.

You and me both, sister.

Anyway, I have no idea if this is actually true. But given the other actions in Hanoi Jane's life, I can believe it. She never met an American hater she didn't love, for the enemy of her country was always her friend.

But you've got to ask why celebs fall for thugs, whether it be Stalin, Castro, Chavez, or Che? Could it be that hidden in that hippie love they found fascism sexy? Rejecting their real dad they found a replacement in camouflage, which is slimming?

But I salute Jane's dedication to the cause. While some campus tool bags put Che on her shirt, she wanted Che to wear her instead. Never mind his murderous actions or pungent body odor. But Che shouldn't feel special, if Fonda had a time machine she would head back to Mongolia 1200 AD just to give Genghis Kahn a freebie. After all, he was the greenest invader ever. By killing millions, he removed 700 tons of carbon from the atmosphere. Now that's dreamy.

So I'll go to you, Bob, because we were talking about this. This guy orders 700 executions. You could call him a mass murder, but you still like him, don't you?

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: I still have my Che Guevera poster. Che Guevera was one of the -- he was a freedom fighter, believe it or not.

GUTFELD: He killed 700 people.

BECKEL: Don't put him in a list of fascists. The fascists were the ones he was trying to get rid of.

GUTFELD: He executed 700 people.

BECKEL: And how many do you think the CIA did against the (INAUDIBLE)?

GUTFELD: Probably a lot less.

BECKEL: No, a lot more. We did not have the most stellar reputation in Latin America and South America during the 1950s and '60s.

(CROSSTALK)

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Bob, really? That seems a little extreme to me.

BECKEL: Listen, when the CIA was complicit in the assassination of Allende, that was killing a head of state.

GUTFELD: They killed gay people, Bob. You have to be against that, I hope.

BECKEL: Of course I am. I'm against killing anybody. But the idea of picking Che Guevara and calling him a mass murder is crazy.

(CROSSTALK)

By the way, he did help Fidel Castro get rid one of the biggest thugs and murdering bastards there ever was, and that was Batista in Cuba.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: You have to admit he was sexy. You can see why Jane was into him.

GUILFOYLE: No. Double veto here.

ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: It's a surprising a feminist would be in favor of a man who was so oppressive to women as well. Maybe the mean guy gets the chick. I don't know. Bob, have you slept with Fonda?

GUILFOYLE: You have to think about who it is.

BECKEL: No, I wasn't one of the privileged few.

GUILFOYLE: But he would. And he said during the break he'd sleep with Tonya Harding. Ew. OK.

GUTFELD: Do you believe she said that?

GUILFOYLE: Yes, I do. Think about the other things. It's totally consistent. She said from the start, she was consumed with anxiety that he might think she was elitist because she had a swimming pool. How ridiculous is this?

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Now Bob, you can't like Jane Fonda. Please, there's no way.

GUTFELD: But he likes Che.

BECKEL: I think she made a terrible mistake during the Vietnam War to go to Hanoi and do what she did. But I think she has done a lot of very good things over the years for a lot of good causes. And the answer to that question is, yes, I like Jane Fonda.

TANTAROS: In the quote --

BECKEL: I don't think she looks that good anymore.

TANTAROS: In the quote she said he might not like her because of the swimming pool. What about all those workout videos?

GUILFOYLE: I love those workout videos.

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