Dennis Miller's Take on Debt Debate

Funnyman weighs in on D.C. deadlock and Royal couple's L.A. visit


This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," July 13, 2011. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment tonight: As you may know, Dennis Miller does a daily radio program for Westwood One, so he has to talk about the debt debate thing which are driving some of us absolutely crazy. The sage of Southern California joins us now from Los Angeles. All right, Miller, before you're going to solve the debt problem...



MILLER: …still a little teared up about Marina's march to citizenship because when I think about you and Ambassador Charlie Sheen co-sponsoring her through the process, I'm telling you, it's a great thing that you've done there. And her road to naturalization, although when they pulled wide it didn't quite look like everything had been naturalized, I'm telling you, it's -- it's quite a beautiful thing you've done there.

O'REILLY: You know, I don't understand why I'm laughing, Miller. I don't understand the line, but I'm just going to let it go. The naturalization process, as you know, it's very complicated and requires a lot of research.

MILLER: You have to -- you have to cleave from your former...

O'REILLY: We are not going to do that.

MILLER: You have to cleave from your former citizenship.

O'REILLY: Why did I hire you, Miller? Why? All right. Solve the debt ceiling for us, please.

MILLER: Well, listen, I think it's like "The Truman Show." I think we ought to push this thing and row out to the horizon line. I bet you it's just a blue tarp with a door in it and you go through and there's wiser allocation of the money we have.

I view the United States like a close friend who just happens to be a junkie. And, you know, you get to that point where junkies in the throes of an addiction and you have to figure out whether you want to be the next one to tie the junky off and shoot it up again or you just want to stop there. They're both loving gestures, but it's a fine line you've got to walk. I choose not to assist in the demise of my country. Therefore, I think we ought to stop it right here. Forget raising the debt ceiling. I say we lower the debt floor and avoid paying on the...

O'REILLY: But we're supposed to be doing that in conjunction. But look, you know, you're reflecting a lot of the people who wrote to me this week. But, look, Moody's today is now threatening a downgrade of all U.S. bonds because of the failure to raise the debt ceiling. And you can't have this economic Armageddon. I got your point theoretically, and I understand the Tea Party's point theoretically. But you can't have the stock market going down 1500 points. There is a way to do this in a responsible manner. There is.

MILLER: We just disagree on this, Bill. You know how much I respect you on many things, but this is coming down the road enforced or not enforced. We can pick the time where we do it or we can not pick the time. But if we think we're going to just keep pushing this out there.

O'REILLY: No, you can't push this out. You've got to have the spending cuts in stone to go along with it so that you say, "OK, one last time we're going to do this but, here's what's going to have to happen in writing to get this thing under control."

MILLER: All right, fine. Can I pitch a tax thing though? If they are going to go to a progressive -- I think they should make it entirely progressive. And the mean point should be me, what I earn each year. I'll continue to pay what I pay, and people on 50 percent aren't paying nothing. But way out there on the other horizon line, Warren Buffet, who evidently can't sleep at night, I'd like to assuage that guy's guilt and make it entirely progressive, where you're making Buffet money you kick 100 percent of it back. Keep $10 million bucks. All right? That would help solve this.

O'REILLY: I think we can have -- I think we can have some revenue raising on a flat tax basis that doesn't hurt the economy. Now, I was stunned, Miller, stunned...


O'REILLY: ...when Prince William and Princess Kate or Lady Kate or whatever Kate she is, shows up in Santa Barbara, where you live, to play polo and I don't see you. Where were you?

MILLER: I understand it completely. Do you think this kid one month into his wedding is going to let that girl be privy to my hotness? Do you really think that he's going to risk it all and let her meet me? Then she goes away thinking, "I thought I had a fairy tale. I've got nothing. Miller is the answer over there."

O'REILLY: OK, purely personal on the part of prince William not wanting to put you in proximity of his...

MILLER: Yes. I couldn't attend -- Billy, I couldn't attend that day anyway. I had bigger fish to fry. Barney Frank was doing a Slip and Slide demo up here that I had to attend to. And he ripped his wet suit on a submersed sprinkler head and tore it all down the right haunch. We laughed; we laughed.

O'REILLY: That's just a lie, Miller. It's just not true.

MILLER: Neither was those naturalized breasts.

O'REILLY: I'm sensing a theme that's not good. All right, now...

MILLER: You floated it.

O'REILLY: ... Derek Jeter hits the home run for the 3,000 hit. And a nice kid, Christian Lopez, 23, catches the ball in the stands, gives it back to Jeter. And you say this was not a wise thing to do, Miller. How could you?

MILLER: Well, listen, at this point they're thinking of taxing the kid. And if you look closely, you cut out a little early there, you can see Geithner fighting him for the ball. Our government is like locusts now. They sweep in on anything. It's like, you know, "Atlas Shrugged." They've got to tax cats in Florida. They're trying to tax this kid's baseball. You know, at this point this country is so screwed up you're better off just letting that ball hit you in the head. They were going to tax Lopez. Then they found out he was here illegally, so they waived that. It all worked out in the end.

O'REILLY: Well, Miller High Life, the beer people, say they're going to pay Mr. Lopez's tax bill because the Yankees are giving him front row seats for the rest of the season.

MILLER: Good for them.

O'REILLY: And Jeter -- Jeter gave him a whole bunch of stuff and this and that. But the point is that another person could have sold that Jeter ball for maybe $100k. So this kid, this Lopez kid, he's a good guy. He's a patriot, right?

MILLER: Yes. I like -- I like Lopez. I'm kidding. He did the right thing. And you can see how we're over-thinking things in this culture now, that you can't even catch a ball and give it back to a guy without putting your into some weird system where Geithner and the Fed come in like fire


O'REILLY: I know.

MILLER: ...and just try to burn it to the ground. It's crazy.

O'REILLY: Right. We've got to tax everything and, you know. "The Tax Man," the Beatles song.

MILLER: Take it from Buffett. Take it all from Buffett and Gates. How do they sleep at night?

O'REILLY: I don't know how they sleep at night, Miller. I don't know how you sleep at night. Some of the things that you've said during this segment.

MILLER: I don't. I don't. They put a -- they put a counting sheep tax on me.

O'REILLY: All right. Dennis Miller, everybody. We are not responsible.

And here's a reminder: Miller and I launch the "Bolder Fresher" tour in Westbury, Long Island August 20. Theater will be rocking. Folks coming from all over the country to see the first show. Then in October, we'll see you at Mohegan Sun in Connecticut and other venues under discussion. Check it all out, please, on

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