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Dennis Miller on Pelosi's Obamacare Waiver Controversy, Newt's Ryan Slam

This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," May 18, 2011. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment tonight: As we reported last night, 38 businesses in Nancy Pelosi's San Francisco district have been granted waivers on Obamacare, and some of those concerns are very wealthy. We're not talking fast-food joints here.

Joining us now from Los Angeles with comment, the sage of Southern California, Dennis Miller. All right. Before we get to Congresswoman Pelosi, you heard Ed Asner. Do you know him?

DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: I've talked to Ed. I like Ed. I had a Peace Corps job one summer with a tribe of people who lived in Ed's back hair. But then I got transferred over to Jimmy Khan's back, and we fell out of touch.

O'REILLY: Cosmetic jokes tonight, I see. That's where we're going.

MILLER: Listen, I like Eddie, but when he talks about being a socialist, I always think, "God, obviously his agent or manager didn't get him deal points on 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show'" because if he had profit of participation, he wouldn't be all hangdog like that.

O'REILLY: You've got to understand, Asner is an old-time guy. He saw the '50s deal and all of that, a lot of shaping in there and a lot of the labor stuff.

Now, Flex-Plan Services says Nancy Pelosi had nothing to do with these 38 waivers in her district in San Francisco. She's totally innocent; not gaming the Obamacare system. And you say?

MILLER: Who did you quote as a source? Columbia Record and Tape Club? I didn't hear that.

O'REILLY: Flex-Plan Services. This is the administrator that files for the Obamacare waivers. They do that.

MILLER: I see. Flex-time waivers. Who is that, Body by Jake? That guy? Let me say this. At this point in life, I can't tell if Nancy Pelosi is telling me a bold-face lie or a two-faced lie or a tight-faced lie. But I'll say this. I consider her to be the pre-eminent liar of her generation. She can look you in the eye and tell you she's not looking you in the eye, because somewhere along the line she clipped the cable on her shame odometer. And I don't believe a thing she says.

If you think it's random that 28 out of 140 of the most recent waivers turn up at $60 a porterhouse steak houses in San Francisco, I don't know what to tell you. I've got a Golden Gate Bridge I want to sell you.

O'REILLY: It looks very, very bad.

MILLER: Yes. Her personal ethics have more bends than Lombard Street, which happens to be in her district. And they used to put crooks like her on Alcatraz instead of sending them to Washington.

O'REILLY: You know that what's really interesting is she hasn't made any comment about this. So if you were that outraged about being accused of gaming the Obamacare system, you'd probably get out front. Instead Flex-Plan Services has to do it for her.

MILLER: Well, as long as -- as long as Flex-Plan jumped in and took the hit for her, I'm solid with it now. When I came in here today, I wasn't sure. But, Flex-Plan -- what is it, Bed Pan Services? OK. Now I'm onboard.

O'REILLY: Flex-Plan. May evolve into Bed Pan, depending on how badly you destroy them this evening.

All right. Now, a lot of stuff going on in the Republican Party, as you know. Trump is gone and Huckabee is out. And Gingrich taking a lot of heat. Let's start with Gingrich. We'll do a little rapid fire with Miller here. How do you see his prospects?

MILLER: At this point, he's a dead man running, Billy. And I don't know why he chose to sprinkle so much hemlock on his blooming onion this week, but I've never seen a more egregious violation of Ronald Reagan's 11th Commandment about not speaking ill of another Republican. Paul Ryan might be an irascible cub to him who beat him to the big idea, but Paul Ryan is an earnest man, and he didn't deserve crap like that.

And when I look at it, Gingrich, he was so off his game, all I could think is, "Wait a second, David Gregory is not this tough. He's just phoning this in." I think Gingrich was on an Ambien the night before or something because he wasn't even lucid on there. But anyway, he's out. He might as well get on with his life's work. I don't know what that is, but he's out.

O'REILLY: OK, now Morris disagrees. And we're going to see what the polling shows, the internal GOP polling, next Wednesday. Gingrich did apologize to Congressman Ryan. Do you think that matters?

MILLER: Only to the extent that he can kid himself for a few more weeks that he's in this, but he gacked it. He had the main stage. Listen, Newt is the smartest guy in the room who can miss a point that badly. And he missed that like Dick Van Dyke tripping over the ottoman. He just missed it. He should have stayed off the kid's back. He at least made a stab at it in good faith, and Gingrich just kicked him to the curb.

O'REILLY: All right. Mitt Romney?

MILLER: Listen, I think Mitt Romney ought to sum this all up and say, "I decided to show you how Obamacare would fail the country in Massachusetts, rather than theorize about it." I think he can get back in anytime. Anybody who can make $10 million bucks in a day, they're still in the game. If I was him, I'd pick Pawlenty as a running mate. And I would have a bumper sticker that said, "A Mitt and a Paw but no handout for you."

O'REILLY: Excellent. Whoa, look at that, Miller. All right. Tim Pawlenty, former governor of Minnesota. You like him?

MILLER: Yes. He's a great guy, Billy. And he's sharp when he's not under the -- you know, under the microscope. But he's a little too uptight. He's got to loosen it up. I don't know what that move is. But if I was him, I'd come in with that, you know, Travis Bickle mohawk or something in the shade just to let people know that he had gone off the grid.

O'REILLY: How about some piercings? How about some piercing, the nose and eye?

MILLER: Something. Something just to show me that the game is afoot.

O'REILLY: All right. Ron Paul, of course, making another run. And what do you think?

MILLER: Yes, Ron Paul is a good guy, but he's too obstinate. When bin Laden is dead, just walk away from it. Let it go. You don't have to go in and give me the take on how you would have handled bin Laden. I'm glad he got shot in his undies watching porn. If Ron isn't, he should just zip it.

O'REILLY: All right. Miller, we're going to have to save the rest for next week. And it's always good to see you, and we appreciate your point of view, as always.

MILLER: All right, Billy, thank you very much.

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