This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," April 29, 2011. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
Watch "The O'Reilly Factor" weeknights at 8 p.m. and 11 p.m. ET!
BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "At Your Beck and Call" segment tonight, two hot topics for the G-man: what he thinks about the birth certificate stuff and his take on the royal wedding. Roll the tape.
O'REILLY: OK, here's Beck. Two billion people estimated to have watched the royal wedding today. Two billion with a "B." Did you watch it?
GLENN BECK, FOX NEWS ANCHOR: Me?
BECK: Watch it?
BECK: Oh, when she -- did she not look…
O'REILLY: She's a beautiful girl, right?
BECK: Oh my gosh. And the -- walking down the aisle and the pageantry and the horses.
O'REILLY: Did you watch it, Beck?
BECK: No. I don't care at all. Nope, not at all. I did -- $33 million for security? Hey…
O'REILLY: That's what you pay. Come on.
BECK: It's what I would pay for the wedding.
O'REILLY: Beck, some people watching now, us, who did watch the royal wedding might think you are a snob for just, you know, throwing it off.
BECK: Really, the one not watching the royals wedding? I'm the snob?
O'REILLY: That's the same accent you use with Harvard.
BECK: Yes, it is. Well, it's the same group of people really, Bill. Uh-oh. Wait a minute. I might be in trouble on that. He went to Harvard. I think it's a ridiculous waste of time. I mean, I'm happy for them. I think it's great.
O'REILLY: Right. Just on a humanitarian basis.
BECK: Yes. And...
O'REILLY: Send them a card, right?
BECK: The princess and the pea and all of that. I loved that when she was doing it. Is she the most perfect princess ever? I saw this on some show. I hope it wasn't your show. Is she the most perfect princess ever? I'm like, the most perfect? What are you talking about?
O'REILLY: Answer my question.
O'REILLY: Millions of Americans...
O'REILLY: ...watched. You are saying -- isn't that a snobby thing, approach?
BECK: No. I think that's a common-sense approach. That's the kind of why are you watching it? How does it affect your life? Now, if you're watching it as entertainment…
O'REILLY: That's what it is.
BECK: Yes, you're doing that, that's great. But I -- no.
O'REILLY: A little glamour, right? Commoner, Ms. Middleton, elevated.
BECK: Commoner. She's a commoner. Was she, like, in a sooty dress before? Was she like, "I've got to sift some ashes. I've got some soot on my face right now, I does. I'm going to learn to talk like a lady."
O'REILLY: She wasn't in the aristocracy.
BECK: Yes, right.
O'REILLY: She wasn't raised like you and I on the palace grounds.
BECK: She was out selling flowers. Shilling? You have a shilling? Tuppence? Tuppence for the birds?
O'REILLY: What -- what I'm getting at...
O'REILLY: ...is that you don't have a lot of respect for British society. You just don't. You don't like it.
BECK: No, I -- what are you doing? The world is on fire. I mean, really.
O'REILLY: We need some escapism.
BECK: Do we?
O'REILLY: I think so.
O'REILLY: Yes, because the world is on fire. We need some relief. And then I'm going to -- that's a segue into the birther thing.
BECK: Did you watch -- let me ask you this. Did you watch John Galt? Did you watch -- what's the name of that movie with, you know, "Who is John Galt?"
BECK: John -- you do not know who John Galt is? I should have known.
O'REILLY: John Galt?
BECK: "Atlas" -- yes, "Atlas Shrugged"?
O'REILLY: Jeez, all right. Are you coming back to Ayn Rand?
BECK: Have you not -- have you seen the movie?
O'REILLY: I didn't see it, no.
BECK: You watched the royal wedding, but you didn't...
O'REILLY: The last movie I saw was "Scream 4."
BECK: That's what your who show is for a lot of liberals...
O'REILLY: That's true.
BECK: ..."Scream 4."
O'REILLY: All right, let me make this transition again. All right. So the world is on fire. We need relief from it, so we watch the royal wedding. How about the birth certificate thing? That's another thing where people got fascinated by this Trump mano-a-mano with President Obama, right?
BECK: I can't figure that one out. Are you looking for answers on this from me?
O'REILLY: I don't know why I have you on here.
BECK: I don't know why either. This is the most...
O'REILLY: I get blank answers.
BECK: I realize how stupid I really am. I have no idea on this one, Bill.
O'REILLY: You didn't care about that, did you?
BECK: Look. The Fed gives its first press conference in 97 years.
O'REILLY: And no one cares.
BECK: Yet, nobody cares.
BECK: They're printing money like toilet paper now. I mean, money is being printed…
O'REILLY: Bernanke says he's going to stop doing that…
BECK: Oh, that's going to work.
O'REILLY: …to strengthen the dollar. See, I paid attention.
BECK: He's going to strengthen the dollar. And I've got a silly little dress, too. This princess is going to clean up right nicely.
O'REILLY: How did Austin Powers get on the set?
BECK: It's ridiculous. So that's going on.
BECK: The world is on fire and what are we talking about?
O'REILLY: The birth certificate...
BECK: The birth certificate.
O'REILLY: ...and the wedding.
BECK: Like that's going to make any difference at all. And I saw Donald Trump. Now look, I love Donald Trump.
O'REILLY: You do not.
BECK: No, no. He's a very smart man. He gets things done here in New York, and I don't think he has to have anybody offed to do it, which is not the New York way. He gets things done in New York. I have respect for him for what he does. And I think he's a very entertaining man, very smart. I will tell you that I would vote for him for president for just this reason: Marine One. I'd like to see that helicopter go and see what happens to that 'do.
O'REILLY: See, you're mocking him. You're mocking Trump.
BECK: No. America -- America, wouldn't that be worth voting for him for just to see what, how does that hair -- because we'd know the mechanics of it, because it would start to swoop up.
O'REILLY: I just want to review. Let's just review.
O'REILLY: Beck has been on here, what, five minutes? So far he's mocked poor Kate Middleton. She's selling dresses and has soot on her face.
BECK: She had little flowers.
O'REILLY: You mocked...
BECK: Feed the birds.
O'REILLY: You mocked the Fed.
O'REILLY: You mocked Trump with some kind of hair reference.
BECK: And I believe I got one or two jabs in it at you, too. It's been a good night. America, I'm done.
O'REILLY: Thank God. Let's get out of here.
Content and Programming Copyright 2011 Fox News Network, Inc. Copyright 2011 Roll Call, Inc. All materials herein are protected by United States copyright law and may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, displayed, published or broadcast without the prior written permission of Roll Call. You may not alter or remove any trademark, copyright or other notice from copies of the content.