Dennis Miller on Youth Climate Conference, Libya and Air Traffic Controllers Sleeping on the Job

This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," April 20, 2011. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment tonight: three hot topics with the D-man, who joins us now from Los Angeles. All right. So Watters is at the conference, and I'm sympathetic to the kids trying to change the world. You remember when you were in college, you know, in Pittsburgh. And I think that's a good thing, even if they don't really have it well thought out. You say?

DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Well, before I get to Jesse's segment, let me go back a segment before that and compliment you on the Frank Luntz segment about the old rancher. I thought that was my favorite segment of the week.

O'REILLY: But Frank Luntz wasn't on that segment.

MILLER: I saw Frank Luntz. He was wearing green.

O'REILLY: That was the Homeland Security chief. That wasn't Frank.

MILLER: I got to get my eyes adjusted, Billy. All right. Jesse Watters, listen, they seem like sweet kids. But you couldn't get me to give Al Gore a standing ovation if you clamped a piranha down on my butt cheeks. You know, they're real pie in the sky.

O'REILLY: Even that wouldn't get you out of your seat?

MILLER: No, no. I'd stay there and take the bite, Billy. I'd take the bite.

O'REILLY: Do you think Gore is a phony? I mean, you know...

MILLER: Yes, big one.


MILLER: Big one. You know when I knew he was a phony, Bill? When he was running for the presidency, he always goes back to Florida and the recount. But go next door to Tennessee. The people who knew him best did not vote for him. He didn't get that state. They knew that it was a bit of a beware of the prophet seeking profits is what I always say about Gore.

O'REILLY: He's made a ton of money on the green stuff. There's no doubt about it.

MILLER: I wouldn't trust him to go get the proper birthday candles for a cake, much less lead me out of the environmental woes of this thing. Those kids are nice kids, but the simple fact is they have a lot of downtime. They're biding time until "Glee" gets cancelled, and then they'll organize some petition drives for that. They've got a lot of free time on their hands.

O'REILLY: All right.

MILLER: We can't spend money on this, Billy. We've got a bad credit rating. I heard this week they told Geithner we now have to get Nic Cage to cosign for us.

O'REILLY: If you want to get real serious about it, the way to do it is not the federal government spending the money but giving tax credits to somebody who comes up with something. Say look, if you invent it, we'll give you a billion dollars, OK? Give them incentives like that. But I agree with you. We can't be funding everything that comes down the pike. It's crazy.


O'REILLY: All right. We haven't been reporting on Libya, primarily because nothing happens in Libya. The rebels run. Then they come back. Then they go. Then they come back. There's a plane. There's a ship. There's a rocket. I mean, it's the same thing every day. But now the British say they're going to put ground troops in there. What say you?

MILLER: I say I don't take a war seriously until they get it out of NATO's hands. NATO, the North American Treaty Organization. What are they? Is this what they do in between editing "Deadliest Catch"? What are you kidding me? NATO? What, are we going to go up to Reykjavik, Iceland, and get a nuclear Iditarod team? It's the North American Treaty Organization. What next? You're going to turn it over to the League of Nations or the Spanky and Our Gang Classic Woman Haters Club? What's the point?

O'REILLY: Wait a minute, Miller. NATO is a military alliance with military soldiers, Marines, naval people of all the western European nations joining with the United States in a powerful coalition.

MILLER: Billy, the United States is NATO. It's just that -- when Disney wants to put out a cartoon, they put it on under Disney. When they want to show a bare breast, they put it out under Touchstone. NATO, Touchstone.

O'REILLY: All right. But you don't -- you think NATO is screwing up the Libya thing? You don't think they're putting enough power behind their punch? I don't really understand your beef with them.

MILLER: You can't half-step wars. It's a simple point. You know, you cannot half-step a war. The United States -- Grace Slick once said, "Either go away or go all the way." We're going to go in and whop this guy, go in and whop him. If not, let's get out of there. But we don't turn it over to the North Atlantic Treaty Organization. I mean, for God's sakes. NATO makes the U.N. look like the 300 Spartans. Come on. Are we in or not?

O'REILLY: All right. Well, I think the British, they send those SIS guys in there -- SAS. I'm sorry. I'm delirious. SIS is in Pakistan. If they send the SAS in there, those are tough guys, the British. And I just want to tell everybody we're following this thing. We don't know really what they're going to do. But they're certainly capable of taking Qaddafi out, so we'll see. All right, now, air traffic controllers...

MILLER: Are you sure? Are you sure, Billy? Are you sure that wasn't Frank Luntz?

O'REILLY: No. It wasn't Frank. You're being disrespectful to the secretary. And if I were her, I'd have you deported, Miller. You'd be living on Rakatoah (ph) before I got through with you, OK? That's where you'd be. And there'd be a piranha attached to your butt, too. All right, now...

MILLER: I think Rakatoah (ph) is in charge of NATO this month.

O'REILLY: Harvey Rakatoah (ph), that's true. I didn't know you knew that. All right. Now, air traffic controllers falling asleep in Reagan National in D.C. I think in Seattle the guy walked out. And you're worked up about it. You fly a lot.

MILLER: I got a memo from Obama's vernacular czar today. He told me that I now have to replace "sleep like a baby" with "sleep like a trained adult professional whose job is to bring 200 and 300 people in a metal tube back down to Earth." That's the official new lingo out there. It's just another -- it points out how soft we're getting if they're going to try to argue why these guys have to take a nap now. The simple fact is, if you worked at a video game company where your job was to play a game of an air traffic controller landing imaginary planes, and you slept somewhere during your eight-hour shift, you'd be fired tomorrow. But these guys, we're going to try to figure out how to get them a nap on duty. For God's sakes, anybody remember when this country was Popeye? Now we're the fat guy with a squint bumming money for burgers all the time. We've got to tighten up here.

O'REILLY: OK. Now, that's an interesting thing. I'm going to get my investigators to find out what happens to these guys because you're right. If they don't fire these guys, then there's no standards of behavior at all. They've got people up in the sky that want to land, and you're racked out. I mean, you've got to go. Get another job. All right? Go someplace else.

All right, Miller, we will follow up on that. And you got any last words for the audience before you drift off into the sunset?

MILLER: Absolutely loved the Luntz thing.

O'REILLY: Luntz. If I were Luntz -- no, I'm not even going to say it. All right. Dennis Miller, everybody.

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