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Dennis Miller on Raising Taxes on Rich, France's Burqa Ban and Royal Wedding

This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," April 13, 2011. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment tonight: lots for the sage of Southern California to get his arms around this evening. He joins us now from Los Angeles. So let's start with President Obama. Big speech today. I think it lasted four-and-a-half hours. I'm not sure. It was almost like the movie "The Ten Commandments," you know, the intermission, you had to go, and then the Red Sea parted. But the primary theme is got to tax the rich, and he does say we have to cut spending, too. And you say?

DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: First off, I'd like to be called Eddie Miller for tonight's show, because I don't want to share a first name with Kucinich. Secondly...

O'REILLY: Eddie.

MILLER: ...as far as -- so just call me Eddie for the record.

O'REILLY: OK. I got it. All right, Eddie.

MILLER: Listen, let's face facts, Billy. We're dangerously near a tipping point in this country, some sort of continental divide line where what the Dems and Kucinich refer to as the working class, let's just say it as it is, there aren't -- there are some people in the working class that aren't working as hard as they used to be. And the people who never get credit for it, the piggish overlords, still like busting their tail, and they want to get ahead. And they have to deem how many people in the working class are helpless people who deserve help, and how many are clueless people that don't deserve the time of day. I think that's the time we're reaching in American history. Americans, good-hearted people, want to take care of the helpless, don't give a rat's ass about the clueless anymore. Times are too tough. I think that's the point we're at.

O'REILLY: OK. But President Obama, according to Dick Morris, wants to continue expanding the federal government, even though he says he wants to cut back, and pretty much regulate the Fairness Doctrine. You know, "OK, here's what's fair. We'll decide it, and you, Miller and O'Reilly, made a lot of money, so we're going to come in, we're going to take a little bit more of that. Shared sacrifice," da, da-da, da-da, da-da. Are you buying that? Do you think that there is noble intent in the class warfare game?

MILLER: No. I think it's horrible. When I -- and I thought that when I was 30 years old, pursuing a career in comedy and made $7,000 for the entire calendar year. I never looked around and thought, "That guy should give me some of his stack." That's just the way I work.

I do believe in Darwin, in that I believe in the survival of the fittest to some degree. But here is how it plays out with liberals. If you mention Christ on this side of the aisle, they will bring up Darwin. If you then say, "OK, I believe in Darwin's survival of the fittest," they will then say you should be more Christ-like in your giving.

You know what? I do think people want to give. I think they're getting sick of propping up losers. And I think we've reached a point in history where we have to separate those who break our hearts and deserve it and those who are just screw-ups. This is the Serengeti plain. If somebody is going to perpetually exhibit a limp, they're going to get fed on. That's the vigorish of life. They're going to have to buck up to that bar. That's the way life works.

Listen, I give 46 percent of my money right now between fed and state. If he wants to jack it up 5 percent, that takes it over 51. In other words, I'm giving more money away to people than I'm keeping for myself. If in fair-mindedness, I went to them after that happens and said, "Listen, this is a little silly. Can you at least give me the one percent back to get it to 50/50," I guarantee you they wouldn't be as level-headed as me about it. I'm going to do it because I don't cheat on my taxes. I don't want to live anywhere else. I don't know if they'd be as conciliatory if I asked them for that one percent back.

O'REILLY: All right. That Darwin-Christ thing, that was good, Miller. That was very good. I am even -- I'm very impressed with that. Thank you.

MILLER: Thank you, Billy. Thank you.

O'REILLY: Muslim veils illegal in France.

MILLER: Yes. Now, listen, I think they ought to give the French government some credit because, truth be told, French men would rather see every woman in the culture walking around in lingerie. So just asking them to peel back everyday garb instead of dressing up like Atticus' daughter Scout as the canned ham on Halloween, it seems to me that they are going halfway. And I'm not sure you want to see some of these gals outside the burqa, so be careful what you wish for.

But I just want to say this. The men make all these decisions in that world, the Muslim world. Who dresses women like this? Can you imagine coming over to Vegas and going to Tao or one of those joints and saying, "We want all the women to dress like this"? For God's sakes, you'd have an insurrection in this country. I don't understand guys -- and this is why they don't blow stuff up, because they're not having enough sex, some of these guys. Because they dress their women up in this pup tent, for God's sake.

O'REILLY: All right. But I think that in the Islamic culture, Vegas isn't a big consideration.

MILLER: Maybe it should be, Billy. Maybe they should unwind with a martini and a little Dean Martin.

O'REILLY: Just relax a little bit. All right. I got it.

Royal wedding, Miller. You're a big fan of the royal wedding, right? William and Kate Middleton, right?

MILLER: Cool guy, hot chick, seems like it's crashed a little the monarchy. So, you know, I mean, it's not as much as it used to be. I don't think he'll ever let happen to that poor girl what happened to his mom because I'll be honest. I watched that wedding, and I thought, my God, this poor girl looks like she's being led away to the, you know, Tower of London, for God's sakes, by Alfred E. Newman. That one never felt good to me. But this one actually feels a little good. But I would keep Charles away from that toast afterwards at the reception, because he's so nuts with the global warming now. If he holds up a glass of bubbly, he's going to start crying into it, talking about the CO2 bubbles that are snapping to the surface in the glass and how it's all going to end by the end of the day.

And, you know what, Bill? By the way, I see where President Obama, who's not going, sent over a gift. And they were a little disappointed, because he gave them an Obamacare waiver. And they said that's what he gives everybody. Why didn't he get us something special? I sent them over -- they were registered with Carvel, so I got them a Cookie Puss. I'm wondering if you got them something out of the "Factor" gear store, like a pair of "Bold Fresh" ear muffs in XXXL.

O'REILLY: No, we got them "The Rain Stops Here" umbrella for London.

MILLER (SINGING): Another rainy day in London town.

O'REILLY: That's right. We actually have a "Rain Stops Here" umbrella, Miller. That's what we got them. All right. Dennis Miller, everybody. He needs a veil. There he is. He needs one.

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