Dennis Miller on Qaddafi, Union Protests and Oscars

This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," February 23, 2011. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment: Our pal Dennis, just a few miles north of us here in Los Angeles, and he's been following the Qaddafi situation closely.

So, Miller, Qaddafi pretty much finished. What would you do to this guy if you got him? If you were the president, and once they throw him out of Libya where he's got to go somewhere. They may kill him there. They may get him, all right, but say they don't. Say he goes to Saudi Arabia. What happens then?

DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: I would hire Qaddafi to play the Stuart Margolin part in a "Rockford Files" sequel where the Stuart Margolin guy gets Ebola because he looks like that to me. I think that Qaddafi and Mubarak should get hired by Fox to be on their "Animation Domination" Sunday night thing doing a cartoon, since they're both such cartoon figures. And you could call it "Muby Dick and Qaddafi Duck," and have the two of these morons come on every week and just be the cartoon characters that they are.

O'REILLY: But the -- the Qaddafi situation though, I think we're going to -- President Obama is going to have a hard time with this. This guy is a terrorist. He's a killer. Mubarak is probably a killer, but Mubarak, they're not going to chase him down. He's done too much for the United States. So let him go wherever he's going. But Qaddafi, I think they've got to try him and throw him into Guantanamo Bay or something. Am I wrong?

MILLER: Well, Billy, when you and Ralph Peters say that you find the president very bright, I'm sorry, I started off with that, but I have a different definition to really bright as somebody who exhibits bright judgments. And I'm a couple years in with this guy now, and I'm not sure he's serviceably bright. I'm not sure he's very bright anymore.

This is a bad man here. You have a chance to make a statement to bad guys all over the world, and we're in a comedy of manners with him. It's sort of mincing. I think he should find Qaddafi, and I agree with you: I think it would be great, if he's going to keep Guantanamo Bay open, to send him there and have a tribunal. This guy was behind Lockerbie. He's an animal. He's a pig. For a while there, we got his attention when we put that missile into the pup tent, and then when we slapped Hussein around, he turned out his nuclear program to us. But he went back, as people do, to their core thing, and their core thing is he's a bad guy. And he should be brought to trial in front of the entire world to show what the civilized people do to bad guys.

O'REILLY: That's right, and I'm going to push for that. And I don't think President Obama is going to be able to get away from that because he has to lead on this. The president of the United States has to lead on Qaddafi. So far, has not led on it. But now that must change.

All right. So from -- and I stole this line from Miller, I have to be honest, because I always am with the audience. From the Mideast we go to the Midwest. Wisconsin, Miller.

MILLER: Well, listen, I'll tell you what: The more this goes on, the more these people are scaring the living hell out of me. I know there's some good people in there, but they've got to put a better face on it than this.

Listen, Mr. Chips is now Mr. in the Chips. And these teachers are making pretty good money. That state is in trouble. They've got to roll back a little more amiably than this. And they can't show up with these SEIU thugs because it's starting to give teachers a bad taint. We can't keep writing out these SE-IOUs perpetually. Somebody has got to tighten down the budget, and this guy is trying to do it. And when they all show up together in this big conglomeration and they're all screaming right in people's faces, I don't know about you, but just as a human being, I'm sitting at home going, "Really? They just asked to you kick in, because we're in trouble and this is how nasty it's getting?"

And please, don't hold a sign up that says, "I love my students so much I'm not going to teach them." You're asking me to suspend my disbelief too much. It's -- we get what you're doing. You don't want to go along with us. We need some help, and you're not willing to pitch in. But don't try to tell me you're doing this as a loving gesture to the students.

You know what's happened here, Billy, is there are bad teachers and there are good teachers, and they're stuck together in this big rugby scrum. They've got to split apart now. I'm not even sure the teachers deserve a salary. I think teachers, much like lawyers, should take on students on a contingency basis where a teacher's salary is predicated on a percentage of that child's eventual adult earnings. This would certainly light a fire under a teacher's tukus to stress the basics. And we need a return to the basics in this country, when you stop to think only one of the three "R's" actually starts with the letter "R."

O'REILLY: OK. You're from a working-class background, as am I. I want working Americans to have good lives and to be paid fairly, and I know from my own experience, as I laid out on this program, that the union, after -- that I'm in -- you're in a union, as well, OK -- helped me out when King World tried to steal our pension when I was working at "Inside Edition." So this is a hard one. But I am persuaded by Governor Kasich and Governor Walker that their states can no longer compete and can no longer afford what the unions want, and that's basically the tipping point for me. Is that how you see it?

MILLER: Well, Billy, I, you know, for a weird -- I have a weird thing about where I like to read books about robber barons and magnates and stuff like that...

O'REILLY: Right.

MILLER: ...Dale Carnegie. A lot of these guys were pigs. When Carnegie -- he can build all the libraries when he wants. When he brings Pinkertons into Homestead and they start shooting working men, he's marked karmically for the rest all his life. He can build all the libraries they want.

So I understand at one point these pigs ran roughshod over regular people, and we needed unions in there because the rich man was intractable. But I'm telling you, if we're going to start to get to a point where the working man is as intractable when we're in a time of need, and they're not going to notch it down from just north of 100 to just below a hundred to let the states survive, then I'm telling you, they're going to have PR problems. That's just human nature.

O'REILLY: All right. Oscars coming up Sunday. We're in L.A. here. There's absolutely no buzz on the street. Nobody talking about it. There's one article in The L.A. Times about it. Nobody cares. But are you still jazzed up about it?

MILLER: Well, I heard Qaddafi and Mubarak, they're going to be seat-fillers. So I'll be looking for them in the crowd.

O'REILLY: I thought they were going to present Best Documentary.

MILLER: Would you -- how, if they did a pass through the crowd and you saw those two morons sitting there…

O'REILLY: That would be some red carpet, but all the people from the E! network wouldn't know who they were, you know, walking on by and all of that. Miller, are you going to watch this Oscar thing?

MILLER: Yes, but they would mistake Mubarak for one of those "Real Housewives" who had too much work done. Listen, if there's any justice in the world, they're always preaching socialism in Hollywood. Let everybody tie for the night. Give everybody an award. See if they make -- if that makes them as happy as they are about the business community that they want to share everything.

O'REILLY: Excellent idea. Power to the people, Miller.

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